A/N (Super Ceech) Whoa, was this a long time coming or what? (Forgive my hypocrisy) In any case, after much pushing, prodding, begging and bribing with TWO plushies (Sesshoumaru and Jaken), Calum and I finally managed to bully Spacey to write and finish this chapter. So I'll hand you over to her without further ado!
A/N (Spacewolf) This is by FAR the creepiest of all the Love is Blind chapters. It is also one of the creepiest possible pairings in the show. If anyone is sitting at home reading this and gets on their high and flaming horse because of the topic, I ask you to stop and reflect. We didn't want to skip over this pairing, or rather the way this pairing can develop because this is the worse one yet. We felt it was our duty to include it since our goal was to poke fun at screwy pairings and point out, why we don't think they work, or the bizarre lengths some people go to the try and make them work. If you're grossed out, join the club and don't read it.
When you live in total isolation from most of the world, funny things happen as the years go by. You develop strange, complex relationships; relationships the rest of the world can't understand. Relationships the world wants to judge. Parental roles blur with the years. Friendships grow into something all consuming. Little girls grow up into young women. You fall into a domestic pattern that becomes second nature and normal to you. You forget you're a demon, and she's a human. You suppress all memories of Jaken ever existing.
That's not weird so much as a life skill though.
Sesshomaru had become uncomfortably aware of the fact that ever since Rin had gotten her period, that he was growing steadily more attracted to her as she progressed through puberty.
Nothing like menstruating and mood swings to drive a man wild with desire.
Lately Sesshomaru had begun to wonder about himself. Begun to question whether or not he was a complete frickin' sicko who was attracted to younger women, or if his feelings for Rin had begun to evolve and it was only the sudden realization that someday the little girl he'd saved would become a grown woman that had rattled him from his hazy stupor to realize that he truly had become completely devoted to her and that she'd become his entire life.
Or maybe he just really need to get laid.
Whichever it was, Sesshomaru was starting to have unwholesome thoughts involving whipcream, hot fudge brownies and liquor, which were only periodically interrupted by visions of Rin laughing and picking flowers on pastel backgrounds.
He was having one such fantasy one spring morning one year. He was relaxed on a rock, staring with unseeing eyes at the clouds, enjoying a fevered fantasy. There a mountain of hot fudge brownies who's summit was made of whip cream. He was scaling this delicious obstacle with grim determination. Oh. He was also naked, and stunningly so. Unfortunately due to budget cut backs the scope of this fic only includes his upper half. Sorry ladies, I tried, but dammit, minimum wage just doesn't buy what it used to.
"Fluffy-sama!"
Seshomaru's reverie was interrupted by Rin.
"Are you alright?" she asked him. Her voice had changed – no longer was it high and innocent – it had deepened, become more mature. "You were looking kind of... weird."
Sesshomaru cleared his throat uncomfortably. Utterly glad inner thoughts happened on the inside.
"I'm fine, I'm just tired." Sesshomaru couldn't look at her. Not after having had such a torrid vision. The memory of all that chocolate made his knees weak.
He rose anyway and cleared his throat, uncomfortably aware of how close Rin was.
"Maybe you should have a nap," she commented, looking at him in concern.
"No, I'm fine," Sesshomaru told her indulgently, touched by her gentle concern. "What are you doing out and about at this hour? Don't you have some womanly task, like cooking, you should be doing?"
"Well," Rin hedged, looking aside. "It was such a nice day I didn't think there'd be any problems. And I figured I could pick flowers or something, and like Shippou might stop by a little later..."
Sesshomaru had been distracted by counting her zits. Each of them, a small, pussing badge of woman hood. His dreamy thoughts about Rin growing up were interrupted at the mention of Shippou.
"Shippou?" he demanded with a frown. "I don't like that boy."
It was true. The overly cute kitsune had grown into a demon sex-god to rival Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, and he was only ten! Sesshomaru always got the impression of a fox in a hen house when Shippou came over.
Pun totally intended.
"You know, I don't like that... that boy," he frowned.
"I know but he's really nice to me," Rin protested. "And he's the best guy I've ever hung out with!"
"I don't ever want to hear the words 'best,' 'hung' and 'guy' in the same sentence ever again," Sesshomaru told her flatly.
Rin frowned, she apparently didn't understand what the problem was. Sesshomaru was again reminded of her innocence and again he wondered if there was something wrong with him.
He wondered if he was being over suspicious about her casual use of the word 'hung.' He was probably overreacting – Rin probably didn't even know what a noose was.
"Why not?" she asked him.
"Because I am Sesshomaru and I have decreed it thus," he informed her in a big boy voice.
"I hate you!" she screamed, her face flushing with rage. She stomped her foot. "I hate you! I wish you would DIE-but-first-take-me-to-the-mall-I-saw-a-pair-of-sandals-I-wanted-last-week!"
Sesshomaru leapt to his feet and said heatedly (which for him is yelling,) "I will not tolerate language like that young lady! Under my roof you'll do as you say-and-don't-spend-too-much-money!"
"Fine-It's-my-allowance-and-I'm-saving-half-of-it-for-my-dowery-like-you-told-me!" She shrilled back.
"Fine-what-time-are-you-going-to-need-a-ride-back?" he responded.
"I'm-not-sure-I'll-call-you-when-I-need-a-ride!"
"Do-you-need-a-twenty-or-something?"
"No!"
In a huffy silence, they got on Sesshomaru's flying cloud and zoomed over the land to the mall. Rin was sulking like a teenager does, Sesshomaru was wondering if there was something wrong with him because he'd actually enjoyed getting into a yelling match with Rin.
When they arrived at the mall, Rin skipped away, immediately recognizing a friend and they disappeared into the mall.
Sesshomaru spied a familiar face by a wagon. His eyes narrowed and he marched over.
"Naraku!" he hissed.
The startled demon turned around, his eyes going wide at the sight of Lord of the Western lands.
"Naraku," Sesshomaru repeated, then came to a stop. "You're a mother, I need some advice!"
"Well you've come to the right place," Naraku told him smugly. "I've got four!"
"Four?" Sesshomaru frowned. "Really?"
"Yup," Naraku said proudly. "Kagura, Kanna..." he frowned. "Ugh, Boy-Kanna and Kohaku."
"I tried to kill one a while back, didn't I?" Sesshy asked. He briefly thought about cocking an eyebrow, but that sounded too much like work, so he declined. But it was implied in his voice.
"Yeah."
"Sorry." He didn't actually mean it, but it seemed like a good idea to apologize to the parent of the child he'd tried to kill.
"Oh, don't worry about it. He's adopted," Naraku nodded. He gave a short but pleasant laugh. "Well actually he's kidnaped, but same deal." His expression turned to one of dreamy reminiscing. "Ah, that was quite a weekend!"
–Meanwhile, up in heaven–
"That BASTARD!" shrieked Kageromaru indignantly. "He forgot all about us!"
Juromaru glared at the world below and shook his fist with a feral hiss.
"Can you believe that?" Kageromaru shrieked. "Can you?"
"What can I say, kid?" asked a very disinterested Saint Peter, who was more concerned with his edition of the Heavenly Bugle. "It's a cruel world."
"Are you going to let us in or not?" Kageromaru sulked.
"No," Saint Peter answered without glancing at them.
"Why the HELL not?" Kageromaru demanded.
Juromaru poked his little scorpion... baby? Brother? Alter-ego? And hissed in a low tone.
"Oh right," Kageromarou deflated, with a sigh. "The sins."
–Speaking of sins...–
Sesshomaru was leaning pinup style against Naraku's wagon, talking shop with him, his kimono beginning to slip open.
"... and I can't help but wonder about myself," Sesshomaru confessed to his arch-foe. Well, one of them!
"That's perfectly normal," Naraku assured him, putting a hand on Sesshomaru's shoulder.
"It used to feel so right, but now, I question myself daily," Sesshy continued. "It was so much easier a few years ago."
"You've evolved as a person," Naraku said soothingly. "There's nothing wrong with that. I know what used to fit feels funny now, but I assure you, things work for a reason, and what you're feeling now is just anxiety. It's a fear of growing old before your time."
"So you think I should stick with my usual colour of eyeshadow?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Totally," Naraku nodded. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"
"Pretty much," Sesshomaru nodded. Then he remembered. "Oh wait. There's this weird Rin thing going on..."
"Who's Rin?" Naraku asked.
"This kid I picked up a few years ago, I think she had a thing for Kohaku, but after years of isolation and separation I've broken her of that habit."
"Isolation and separation, hm?" Naraku wondered, an evil glint in his eyes. "There's a thought. I just killed all of Kagura's crushes."
He thought about ti before snapping back to himself.
"So what's the problem exactly?"
"Well, I'm the problem," Sesshomaru answered. "My feelings for Rin have...changed. You see, she's a teenager..."
"You want to kill her, don't you?" Naraku guessed. "Yeah, that'll pass. Either you'll kill her or get over it."
"No, I find myself..." Sesshomaru looked aside. "Becoming more and more attracted to her."
Naraku blinked.
"That's it?"
Sesshomaru nodded.
Naraku laughed.
"How old are you?" he demanded.
"I am precisely 1458 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 5 days and twenty three hours old, (not counting leap years or temporal distortions)," Sesshomaru answered proudly.
"Then you're past the creepy mark," Naraku told him. "You see there comes a time in every demon, vampire and twinkie's life when they are so fugging old, it just doesn't matter anymore. It's ridiculous to evaluate them by the shortsighted measures of a society's who's life span is less then a hundred years on average. Past this certain mark, age is officially so incomprehensible to human perceptions that it becomes just a number."
"And I've hit said mark?" Sesshomaru asked curiously.
"Oh yeah," Naraku nodded. "You hit it 1228 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 5 days and twenty three hours (not counting leap years or temporal distortions) ago."
"What about the fact that I sort of met her when she was a child and sort of actually was... her, I guess, guardian."
"Well," Naraku said thoughtfully. "Did you ever take advantage of her childlike trust? Did you raise her to become a mistress for you or anyone else?"
"How do you raise a mistress?" Sesshomaru wondered.
Naraku's eyes suddenly became shifty. He adjusted his collar.
"I... ah... I wouldn't know..." he answered. "I mean it's not like I can't get dates the normal way..."
"Well, I haven't," Sesshomaru admitted. "As a matter of fact I've been a fairly distant and intimidating figure in her life. I think for the last few years I've really been more of a concept, and I've never actually been all that affectionate."
Naraku shrugged.
"It sounds like a classical case of role identity slipping into confusing grey area and as you attempt to redefine and reclaim your life. You're afraid to establish new roles, even as your emotions tell you that your existing roles no longer fit."
"So what should I do?" Sesshomaru asked.
Naraku sighed heavily and looked thoughtfully.
"You have to decide for yourself if you'd be acting on fully matured feelings, half baked concepts of your own morality and immortality or on baser emotions."
Sesshomaru nodded.
"You've given me much to think of," Sesshomaru decided solemnly. "I shall go dwell on these musing. Is there anything I can do for you in return?"
"Not unless you have Kikyo tied up somewhere," Naraku laughed. "You don't do you?" he suddenly pressed. "Because that would really swell!"
"No, I don't," Sesshomaru admitted.
Naraku sighed heavily.
"Foiled again," he lamented. "The heart of Onigumo still beats within my chest I suppose. Or I just need to get laid."
Sesshomaru bid Naraku farewell. Going home to muse on what he'd learned. As Sesshomaru walked away, Kanna approached her moth...father.
"I have made purchases of skimpy underwear and cheap smelling perfume," she informed him. "You may take me home."
"Wonderful," Naraku told her. "I wonder where Kikyo is..."
In Sesshomaru's bathroom
The Lord of the Western lands sat on the rim of his bath, trailing his hand in the steaming water for a few minutes, lost in thought as he mused his... musings.
After some time, he straightened up and slowly began to disrobe, sliding the silk away from his wide shoulders, baring his strong chest and...
The following scene is incredibly sexy, involving Sesshomaru, soaking wet, water beading on his lashes and his of course dreamy god-like body. However due to the fugging cut backs we could not include it. Just be assured it is incredibly sexy and if you'd seen even a glimpse of it you would be fanning yourself and panting.
Back to the story!
Sesshomaru sat down, a towel wrapped around his waist combing his hair with his
fingers thoughtfully.
"I'll do it," he decided, "I'll seduce Rin!"
–Naraku's lair–
"By the way, Kanna," He said to the solemn young woman who was standing in a corner holding a mirror for absolutely no reason whatsoever, like she always did. "How old is your friend Rin? Eighteen? Nineteen?"
"Thirteen."
Naraku's face grew ashen and his eyes became huge with the enormity of the horror of what he'd done.
"Call CAS!"
–Somewhere outside Sessy's home.–
Sesshomaru found Rin outside, playing in the long grass as she always had as a child. A childhood deprived of toys and contact with people had sort of forced her to make her own fun and commune with nature. Or else she was just easily amused.
Sesshomaru watched her for a long time.
The way her hair flew carelessly in the wind. The way her large brown eyes danced with the simple pleasure of feeling cool wet grass on her bare-feet. The lilt of her giggles musical as chimes.
As she frolicked, her kimono's hem rose, revealing unseemly amounts of leg. Sesshomaru felt his composure begin to slip, his hands trembled and... Well this is getting creepy. Let's just fast forward, shall we?
Sesshomaru called to Rin and, obediently, she came to him.
"What is it Fluffy-sama?" she asked, breathless from her frolicking.
Sesshomaru had to take a moment to decide how best to go about it. After a long moment he nodded to himself and finally spoke, deciding to be blunt.
"Rin," he began, then he chickened out and said in a rush. "Isthatamirrorinyourpocket?CauseIcanseemyselfinyourpants!"
He waited to see if Rin could resist the sheer awesome sexiness of this line. Rin blinked at him, and then her face broke out in a wide grin.
Sesshomaru heaved a silent sigh of relief.
"Oh, Fluffy-sama!" she laughed cheerfully. "You're so silly! I don't have a pocket!"
With that she skipped off to her game singing, "tra, la la, tra lee!"
"Damn!" Sesshomaru swore. "Thwarted by that very innocence which ... Aw screw it! I'm not monologue-ing!"
With that he traipsed back into the house and collapsed in a chair.
He contemplated his options. He was thoroughly depressed and beaten. He decided, to cheer himself up, to go have a wet tee shirt contest with himself.
And we don't actually get to see the wet tee shirt contest due to those cut backs... Okay, confession time. The cut backs aren't the whole problem. I blew most of the budget on a gratuitous nude scene at the end.
"I win again! Whee!" Sesshomaru cheered after the wet tee shirt contest was over. "Now to go back and seduce Rin. I'll give her flowers – women like flowers."
Instead of going to the local flower girl and buying overpriced crap, Sesshomaru decided to save money and pick the flowers himself, making sure that Rin would get a bouquet of the wild flowers that she loved so much.
He spent hours slaving over fields, picking up delicate wee flowers with an intoxicating fragrance. Finally, a bouquet in hand, he marched up to Rin and presented them to her.
"Poor voo!" he told her.
"Oh Fluffy-sama!" Rin squealed. She threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him shamelessly on the cheek.
Sesshomaru was at first, rigid, then he relaxed into her happy embrace.
"I'm glad you like them," he said a little nervously.
"I love dandelions!" she assured him, grabbing the bouquet from him and rocking back onto her heels. She took one of the yellow flowers from the rest and held it in one hand. "Mama had a baby and her head popped off!" she said cheerfully, snapping her thumb up under the flower's head and deftly beheading the weed.
Sesshomaru was startled.
Rin only laughed and laughed.
"Wanna play?" she asked him, offering him one.
"No," he answered rigidly. He began to nervously edge away from Rin and her game. He decided to make a hasty exit.
He ran to his room. Once alone there, he raked his brain, he raked his yard and then he raked his nails down a chalk board just for kicks.
"There is only one thing to do," he decided. "Only one possible thing, one act that will express my new feelings, and ensure Rin will be mine. There's only one thing I can do, a gratuitous nude scene!"
YES!
Sesshomaru jumped uneasily, eyes darting back and fourth. "It's as if I've felt a thousand voices in the force, calling out in exaltation, before silencing themselves with anticipation," he murmured. "...Meh."
He continued to plan.
"One sight of my glorious nakedness will render her completely unable to resist me," he schemed. "Unfortunately, if she asks me to stop before the procedure is over all will be for not. I must, must make sure she is in no condition to either run or throw something at me!"
His plans made, all he could do was bide his time, until the perfect opportunity arose for him.
The perfect opportunity came at bedtime. Rin had changed into her super kawaii PJs and done her hair up in pigtails, just to make herself look cuter.
She was snuggling beneath her covers when Sesshomaru suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Rin," he said, coming forward. "Rin, we've known each other a long time."
"Sure have, Fluffy-sama!" she agreed cheerfully. Not in the least concerned about him appearing in her room.
"Sometimes, when people know each other for a long time, they begin to develop feelings for one another that previously seemed impossible. Do you understand?"
"Not at all," she told him brightly.
"You've penetrated my very psyche, Rin," he told her, coming forward. "For years my father's abandonment of me and my mother has warped my perception of love and humans. Saving your life was only my own confused inner child, reaching out to reclaim the innocence which abandonment had ripped from it."
Sesshomaru continued to spout more random psycho-babble as he crept further and further into the room. As he droned on and on about nothing in particular, Rin's eyes began to grow cloudy and unfocused with boredom. She stayed awake for his sake, but she was becoming more and more dazed.
When Sesshomaru knew that he'd numbed her mind too far for her to be able to protest, and he'd cut her reaction time in half, he knew it was time.
"And now, Rin," he said, grabbing his kimono. "As I have bared my soul, allow me to bare my stunning, god-like body..."
Naraku's grey tentacles smashed through the wall and, roiling with demon appendages, the familiar baboon pelt–clad demon surged in.
"Excuse me," Naraku barked, gathering Rin up with wildly gnarled and many jointed arms. He glared at Sesshomaru as he protectively bundled Rin up. "I'm the new Mommy!"
Then he was gone, bundling Rin back to his castle where she'd be safe with Kagura, Kohaku, Kanna and... Boy-Kanna.
Sesshomaru was so distraught he actually went back to the woods where Jaken had been killed several ficlets ago, reconstructed him and resurrected him.
Jaken's first act upon discovering he was once again alive and whole was to console Sesshomaru the only way he knew how.
With hardcore nudity!
What? You blew, the ENTIRE budget for a gratuitous JAKEN nude sequence?
... You know, in my defense... GLITTER!
A/N (Super Ceech) Well, there goes Spacey... And she probably won't be back for a while due to those murderous and grossed-out glares you're all sending after her. In any case, I'm up for writing the next chapter, and we'll be continuing normally with the sequence of the writing for the next little bit. Catch ya later!