Summary: AU. OC: Graces Malfoy, Draco's twin sister. Neville, with his usual bad luck, ends up partners with Graces Malfoy for Herbology, just after landing her father in Azkaban, after the Ministry ordeal. Will this partnership prove to be as awful as it sounds? 6th year. Rated M for sexual content.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, except Graces Malfoy, who is my own. I do not claim any ownership of the characters or settings contained within. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line.
Rated M for sexual content and language
Author's note: This scene is definitely rated M. Also I want to thank my beta Arthurdent2 who was amazing when it came to helping me figure out how to write this scene. (I had never written a sex scene before and my first attempt was a total disaster) Hopefully you will all be happy with my final attempt though! Please review and follow the story!
Chapter 3
If someone had told Neville that he would ever kiss Graces Malfoy, he would have taken them to Madam Pomphrey, insisting that they had been badly confunded. Yet, there he was kissing Graces Malfoy and he could not remember a time where he felt more incredible; the first time he did magic, getting his Hogwarts letter, being placed in Gryffindor, being awarded the winning house points first year, and so goes on the list. Nothing could top the feelings he was experiencing now. Nothing could beat kissing Graces, because kissing Graces was a whole different kind of magic.
He didn't know why, maybe it was how sweet her lips tasted, how soft her skin was, or maybe it was how delicious she smelled, but something about the girl in his arms made him forget everything. He was so lost in the sea of sensations, that was Graces, and in that abyss of pleasure that only she could cause. He forgot himself. He didn't feel awkward in his own skin or have the need to overthink himself. He, for once in his life, felt comfortable in his own skin, and was not worrying about what others did or thought. It was only him and Graces in that moment together. Even his magic moved under his skin animatedly, as though it had never been truly awaken before, and all from the simple act of pressing his dry lips to her soft ones.
When they finally did break apart, their chests both heaving from the exhilaration, their faces flushed with emotions they had both never experienced, they just sat there, inches apart, just gazing into each other's eyes for what felt like hours. Her pupils were so dilated that you could barely see her grey irises, and he realized he probably looked the same. Neville would never in his lifetime be able to say who moved first, it could have been him, Graces, or both of them, but before either of them knew what was happening, they were rolling on the floor of the greenhouse kissing each other, again, with such passion and intensity that both were becoming more and more undone.
Neville didn't know or care about when his night robe had been removed and he shivered with pleasure as Graces hands snaked underneath his night shirt. He moved to be more on top of her, not knowing when he had become so daring. Maybe it was the whiskey or maybe it was just testosterone, either way, but he didn't care, all he could think about was her. He couldn't remember ever wanting anyone more than he wanted the girl currently underneath him. He brought his lips down onto her elegant neck and ravished every sensitive spot he could find, causing Graces to quietly moan with pleasure as he continued to use his lips and tongue to explore her body. Neville, until this point in his life, had never realized a simple sound could affect him so much physically.
As Graces continued pulling him into her, winding her slender fingers through his hair, and holding him close, Neville in the back of his mind, realized that he had never once felt he needed to touch someone, this way, not really. It had never been something he had put priority in, even when the other boys in his dormitories would talk about it. He never really was that interested, but now he felt as though it was essential to his livelihood to be as close to Graces as humanly possible. He was burning with the desire to feel her skin on his, to make her feel as hopelessly lost in pleasure as he currently was.
His hands fumbled with the buttons on her blouse as he persistently kissed her breathlessly. Every touch, kiss, taste, sensation didn't feel like it was enough to sooth the fire that was now raging inside of him, and judging by the way Graces was wiggling beneath him tugging at his shirt to come off, it wasn't for her either. He had known what he wanted and where all of this was heading, but it wasn't until he ran his hand down her naval lower, caressing her to the point where he was right between her legs, and had touched her most private area, feeling her arousal as she convulsed slightly around his finger, did it all become real to him.
"Wait," Neville panted, pulling himself off the one person in the world he desired most, "you're drunk... I'm drunk. Maybe… maybe this isn't the best of ideas."
Graces stared at him. She stared at him like she was just now starting to truly see him. It made his skin prickle and his heart flutter. He was so much more exposed to her now than he had been all the other times, and the vulnerability was beginning to weigh on him. She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head slightly. He felt like he should say something, explain further, but then Graces sat up and without a word she finished removing her blouse and slowly removed her bra, never taking her silver eyes off the boy in front of her. Neville groaned despondently as Graces' breasts didn't move a bit without the lack of support. It took every bit of self-restraint on his part to not throw proprietary to the wind and take her right there.
He closed his eyes and took a few long breaths to regain his chain of thought. "We can't. We have to-"
Neville didn't have the opportunity to finish his sentence. He heard a hiccup of a sob and looked over to see Graces clutching her mouth, desperately trying not to cry. If ever there was a site more sad, yet beautiful, it was of Graces weeping naked on the floor of the greenhouse. She looked like an angel who had lost her wings. Broken on the floor, but still lovely even in shatters. Finally, she looked up from her open palms, her clouded, liquid mercury eyes, glistening with restrained tears, as the moonlight danced along her body, making him believe that, for a moment, that she truly was a divine being that had fallen from grace.
"Please Longbottom," she said in the most desperate of whispers, that caused Neville to reach out towards her and pull her into him comfortingly.
"I.. I can't," Neville whispered gently, almost wistful, "it wouldn't be right."
Graces curled into him and wept, "I just need to forget, just for a little while, just for one night. I need to forget." When she looked up at him, Neville saw her tears falling against her cheek before cascading down onto his chest; each drop that hit against him giving testimony to her pain. Pain he didn't know the source of, pain so complicated that he couldn't comprehend, and pain that he knew she would never give him reason to. All she was willing to accept from him was physical comfort. He wished that she could cry into his chest and tell him all of her worldly woes, but he knew she wouldn't.
He, still unsure of what to do, leaned forwards and kissed her forehead, cheek, chin, ear, trying to comfort her, trying to give her what she wanted, without taking advantage of her. Then, he finally found her lips but he kissed her so softly, so gently, deciding to give her anything she asked of him, but to do it in a caring manner, neither pushing nor denying her. He gently tightened his arms around her small form and kissed her in ways that he prayed gave her comfort and made her feel secure. He kissed her slowly leaving the lustful passion out and replacing it with gentle affection, before tenderly laying her back down. She timidly began removing the rest of her clothes as Neville did the same. He never took his eyes off hers though; he kept searching for any hint of hesitation. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was filled with a million different feelings, all at once. He couldn't believe this was happening, that this was real. He was terrified and overjoyed at the same time.
He looked down at the porcelain skin, before him running his hand gently over her, "As soft as rose petals" he quietly whispered more to himself than the girl lying before him, but she heard and was blushing nervously. He positioned himself to her side propping himself on his arm to look down at her. "I..I've never..."
Graces blushed a deeper shade of pink and looked away. "Me neither..."
"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you," he said softly caressing her cheek and turning her to face him.
Her gray eyes looked imploringly up at him. "You're not though. I want this, with you."
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Everything in Graces head was screaming that this was a bad idea. Neville Longbottom was a Gryffindor, a blood traitor, friend/dorm mate of Harry Potter, had made his allegiance known when he battled in the Ministry, had aided in catching her father and sending him to Azkaban, and that was without mentioning that he was the school idiot. Yet, despite how many times she reminded herself of all those things, she didn't care. Her world was falling apart everywhere she turned, her father was in Azkaban, her family were no longer in Voldemort's exclusive group of only his closest followers, which they had given so much to be a part of, her mother was so distraught she barely knew what to do, and her brother was being forced to do a task that the Dark Lord knew he was destined to fail. Draco was going to die this year, and there was nothing she could do. That was the greatest punishment for her father's failure. It was always weighing on her mind that she was going to lose everyone she held dear, in this war. The only way she saw that she could have her family back, was for Draco to succeed at his mission putting their family back in Voldemort's inner circle as he rose to power, then all the death eaters being released from Azkaban, giving her father back.
She wished countless times a day that she was someone else. Someone that could just break down and cry her eyes out and be comforted. Someone who could hold tight to her brother and beg him not to do what needed to be done, so they could just run away from this nightmare and never look back. But she wasn't someone else. She was a Malfoy, and as a Malfoy she would hold strong against this storm until the winds broke her, so that she could no longer stand tall against them. Draco would die trying to save them, just as she would stand beside him until the bitter end.
She however, despite her best efforts to be strong, felt herself breaking to the point where she decided that tonight she did needed to break down. So she finished her perfect rounds for the night and snuck into the greenhouse to enjoy a night of drinking. She had been drinking for well over an hour when she heard the greenhouse door open and Neville Longbottom showed up.
If she had been sober when Longbottom had arrived, she would have demanded he leave hours ago; she would have seen that being alone with him drinking in the middle of the night was a horrible idea. She already knew that being around him was not good for her. She wanted desperately to push him away, to be awful towards him so that he would stop looking at her with those kind, compassionate eyes that made her think she was safe. Feeling safe with Neville Longbottom was the sort stupidity that could get her killed.
That thought alone should have kept her from being friendly towards the boy, but Graces couldn't bring herself to feel wary in Neville's presence. If her initial plan would have ensued she would have drank until she blacked out; she would have gotten a night's rest without nightmares of her family and her being tortured. No matter what she did, it was always on her mind: when she got dressed, did her homework, ate, was with friends, or slept, she was always haunted by her fears and always unable to show it. And then Longbottom showed up and for a moment it was all placed in the back of her head, not a loud presence that she had to ignore, it was truly placed in the back of her thoughts. And all she seemed able to focus on was that this boy, that, in her six years of Hogwarts, that was always there, but she never truly noticed, was no longer the puggy pureblood that could barely carry on a sentence without stuttering like a blubbering idiot. And if she was honest with herself, which she rarely was when it came to this subject, she hadn't though it him in that way for a long while. His baby fat was slowly leaving him and he even seemed to hold his head up higher than before, though he still, for the most part, tried not to be seen. She was unsure of when she started looking at Neville, but the fact remained she had been looking, and soon after looking came noticing. She realized his features becoming more and more defined, less awkward, and more handsome. He was still by no means handsome enough to turn heads, but she saw that there was the potential for that, buried just under the surface. She could no longer deny it, and despite how many times she reminded herself who he was, and who she was, when he kissed her all remaining thoughts of logic left her and there was just him.
Nothing in the world could have prepared her for what happened when Neville's lips touched hers. All at once nothing mattered anymore. All that mattered was how glorious he made her feel and how magnificent he tasted. All sense of reality melted away. No one had ever kissed her like this, with so much passion and ferocious need; he didn't just kiss her like he wanted to claim her, he kissed her like he needed her, like she was the only witch in his world for him. For some reason or another, she had been kissing him in much the same manner.
And so here she was, lying naked on the ground, with Neville Longbottom, but she didn't feel vulnerable or scared. How could she with the way he was caressing her skin like he was trying to memorize every inch of it with touch alone? Or when he was kissing her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and looking at her as though she was the Gods' gift to humanity?
Graces closed her eyes in anticipation as she felt his hand move to go between her legs; her skin prickling in excitement as Neville continued to kiss her neck softly. Then suddenly, Neville moved lower so that he was caressing her breast with his lips, letting his tongue dance wickedly on her awakened nipples as his fingers finally found their way to her sex. She couldn't stop herself from moaning endlessly as his hands and tongue made her desperate to have him inside her. "You are exquisite Miss. Malfoy," he moaned huskily, "I just want to taste every inch of you." And the Gryffindor, to Graces' great pleasure, proceeded to do just that; Neville was kissing between her breasts, letting his tongue trail down to her naval, planting open mouth kisses on her ribs, before nibbling gently on her hips.
Between the ways he was devouring her body and what his hands were doing between her legs Graces was on the edge. She could feel her climax coming on, her muscles inside her tightening around his fingers, and the heat spreading like wildfire through her blood. And then to her great frustration, he stopped.
"Please. Don't stop," Graces whimpered, praying desperately that he hadn't changed his mind; that he hadn't realized that this was a mistake.
Neville just chuckled and gently started kissing the inside of her leg nibbling every once in a while as he continued to trail up. Graces realized, horrified, what he was about to do.
"No!" Graces exclaimed mortified beyond reason. "You can't."
Neville frowned, but stopped, moving so that he was hovering over her eye level. "I.. uh I thought that.. well.. Wouldn't you like that?" The sandy haired boy blushed scarlet and looked away for a moment, suddenly becoming very interested in the ceiling. "I … uh .. heard that umm girls liked that."
"It's unnecessary," Graces replied peevishly, "you really don't have to."
Neville bit his lip for a moment, clearly debating if he should continue this conversation. "I.. I want to." It must have been pretty obvious from the look on Graces' face that she did not believe him, because he smiled shyly and leaned forwards to kiss her. "If you don't like it, I'll stop, but… I would like to try."
Graces felt as though the air around her had thickened, there was this sort of stillness that had settled around her and Neville, as though time had stopped just for them. She felt as though her whole world was hanging on this moment and she could feel her body shaking with the intensity of it. Neville seeing her hesitation, nuzzled her neck with nose, gently kissing her, while at the same time allowing his hands to continue their work. "Trust me," he pleaded as he moved lower.
And for some reason unknown to her, Graces did. She stared up at the ceiling too nervous to watch as Neville continued to kiss her lower and lower, gently widening her legs, but the fact was she was allowing him to do it. She didn't feel comfortable with much physical contact, most of the time she had to force herself to allow a simple hug, and yet she was allowing a boy she barely knew to know her in the most biblical of senses. Yet, it didn't feel wrong or make her unsettled. She really did, for whatever reason, feel comfortable. Most of her humility at the moment stemmed from herself, as she worried over what Neville would think.
She felt his breath ghost over her and was about to lose her courage; telling Neville it was too embarrassing and she thought maybe she could just move him away, but all thoughts of that ended the moment she felt his tongue brush over her. Graces never knew that anything could feel that good. If she had been in her right state of mind, she would have been utterly ashamed of the noises that came from her mouth as Neville continued to relentlessly dance his tongue between her velvety lips. Neville however, could not be more thrilled at the sounds coming from Graces. Every small gasp she made, every moan was affecting Neville just as much as his tongue was affecting her. He reached up with one of his calloused hands and claimed her breast, running his thumb tenderly over the soft skin, overwhelming her body with sensation.
Graces closed her eyes as the sensations coursed through her, clouding her mind with ecstasy. She could feel herself contracting and knew she was about to give over. She squirmed with diversion, unable to keep herself still for what was coming. She didn't even realize that her hands had at some point wrapped themselves in Neville's sandy hair. She opened her eyes as she felt his hand leave her chest and watched as Neville began stroking himself while continuing to do even more wicked things with his tongue. The sight of Neville tasting and smelling her arousal and becoming so turned on by it that he had to touch himself, sent the Slytherin over the edge. She was so lost in her sea of pleasure that she did not even realize she was calling out to the gods, as her back arched as she trembled violently, her body losing all control, as the pressure that had been rising up inside of her finally reached its peak in an explosion of heat and pleasure that crashed into her again and again like waves on a shore.
She had never in her life been so relaxed, her head floating on a cloud somewhere in the sky along with the rest of her body. She wondered idly if she should say something, thank Longbottom or ask what made him, or how he knew, to do all that, but she couldn't seem to move, let alone speak and ask questions. She was so euphoric, she found that she didn't really care.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Graces," Neville murmured as he kissed the neck of the exhausted girl before him, "you taste heavenly." Graces just giggled in response, not even bothering to open her eyes, she just laid there for a few minutes catching her breath, before turning over to Neville. He was just staring down at her smiling softly, letting a hand idly run through her hair.
It was odd how much she felt like she needed him at this moment. She could feel her magic pushing against her skin to be closer to him and even after her climax; she still felt the fever flushing throughout her, and the ache between her legs that demanded something that, up until now, she never knew she wanted. Sex had never been something she was interested in, not really, even when she was dating someone seriously, she never quite wanted him in the way she wanted Neville now. It wasn't that she didn't think she would enjoy the physical pleasantries that came with the intimacy, she just never could seem to get over having such intimacy with another person. And yet there she was, looking up into Neville's soft eyes, wanting nothing more than to give herself to him.
"You're not done, are you?" she inquired, confused as to why he had stopped and was just holding her.
"I'm giving you the opportunity to change your mind," Neville said carefully, "not that I don't want to, I just… well... we don't have to."
Graces knew that she was being given the opportunity to turn back and that she should probably take it while she could, but she couldn't bring herself to. "I.. I really meant what I said. I want this with you," she looked up nervously for a moment a new thought occurring to her, "that is... if you want this with me, of course."
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Neville was completely clueless as to why Graces Malfoy would want this with him, but apparently she did. He considered actually telling her that, of course he wanted this with her, that at this point he would rather lose his wand hand than not experience being with her, but he stopped himself, deciding that anything he said would come out a stuttering mess. Nodding, he reached over for his wand to cast a contraceptive charm, but was stopped by Graces gently taking it out of his hands.
"No offense Longbottom," Graces began hesitantly offering him a small smile, "but as amazing you are with your hands and tongue. Your wand work isn't nearly as good."
The Gryffindor couldn't find it in him to be offended; if anything he was a bit relieved seeing as he had never set the charm himself. Usually if he botched a spell he just had to spend a couple hours with Madam Pomphrey or replace an item, but if he somehow managed to do this one incorrectly, the consequences would be far greater. So, he let her set the charm and bit back a chuckle when she did it again for good measure.
"Don't laugh at me Longbottom," Graces scolded playfully, "this is very important. We don't want little Longbottoms running around."
Neville just laughed awkwardly, as he was becoming increasingly more aware of himself. He was beginning to reel with horror, as he realised that he had no idea what he was doing. Sure he had read a few dirty magazine articles here and there, thanks to Seamus, Ron, and Dean, and he was not so sheltered as to ignore locker room talk, but actually physically being with a woman and dreaming of being with a woman were two very different things. Suddenly, he was imagining a whole slew of things that he could do wrong. This was Graces' first time, what if he did it all wrong? For the rest of her life she would remember how awful her first time was and it would be all his fault. He was just on the edge of panicking, when he felt a soft hand on his chest bringing him back to earth.
"I won't know the difference," Graces comforted, moving her hand to delicately brush the fringe from his face. Neville gazed down at the breathtaking girl looking up at him with such trust and vulnerability. Trust and vulnerability he knew she didn't offer freely.
"It... it will hurt," he warned still looking for any signs of hesitation, "are you sure? Are you sure you want me to be the one to.. well.. to deflower you?"
"Deflower?" Graces sniggered, "Did you just say deflower?" Neville blushed and was about to begin babbling when Graces erupted with laughter. "I don't know if you have spent too much time in the garden or too much time with your gran! My father doesn't even say deflower!"
Neville dropped his head utterly humiliated, out of all the times for him to say something embarrassing, he chose now to be the time. "I… I was… I was just trying to make a point," Neville muttered still unable to look at the girl below him, who had finally stopped her cackling, "I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm sure you will be gentle," Graces contended, softly leaning up to kiss him, "gentler than most even."
"You could have anyone..." Neville continued.
"I don't want anyone. I want you." Graces stressed as she seductively began moving her hand down Neville's chest, making his breath hitch as all thoughts of denying her slowly left him. "Adorable you, who says words like deflowering. I want you." It was such a simple phrase, such a simple emotion, to want, but never before had he thought that someone could want him. He was the guy that stumbled out of bed in the morning, forgot his homework, spilled his juice in the great hall, blew up his cauldron in potions, could barely speak without stuttering, and became frightened at just the sight of greasy hair and black robes. Neville was not the guy that girls typically wanted. And yet, he believed Graces when she said she wanted him. Part of it was because he so desperately needed to believe that someone could want him and the other part was the way she was looking at him. He had always wanted to be looked at like this; looked at in a way that made him believe that he was actually being seen.
He carefully lowered his body onto her, so that they were chest to chest and nose to nose. "Any time you want to stop just tell me, okay?"
"Okay," Graces promised leaning up and kissing him while at the same time reaching down and positioning him correctly for what was to come, "no more of this. I'm sure. I want you."
He nodded and with a nervous, yet excited look, slowly, Neville sank into her, making sure to be as careful and gentle as possible. He couldn't help but hiss with pleasure at how tight she was around him. He wanted more than anything to just thrust the rest of the way in, but he controlled himself. He knew this was hurting her, he could feel her body protesting the invasion and the tearing skin around him giving testimony to her innocence. Graces whimpered beneath him clutching his shoulders tightly with both hands and closing her eyes against the pain.
"Just relax," Neville muttered tightly, "it will be over soon, just relax." He gently caressed her face and kissed her cheeks, ignoring that she was turning away from him. He understood, she was in pain and resented that he wasn't. Neville prayed that she wouldn't ask to stop, his body ached to have her so painfully, that he now understood what it meant to want someone so badly that it hurt. After a few moments he felt her settle around him, and being unable to wait any longer he pushed himself the rest of the way in.
Graces gasped at the pain, and Neville stilled once again, not wanting to hurt her anymore than was necessary. "Are you okay? Do you…do you want to stop?" Neville asked concern and strain etched in his face.
Graces looked up seeing very clearly that Neville did not want to stop, that stopping his movements now was a great strain on him. She couldn't believe he was inside her, it was thrilling and frightening to her all at once. It also made her blush scarlet.
"Yes, I'm fine. It…it feels good and hurts. Does that make sense?"
Neville smiled, "It just feels incredible for me."
Graces grinned shyly, "I'm ready now."
After a few awkward minutes of fumbled motions and nervous laughter they both began moving more confidently; each learning what to do to make the experience more pleasurable for the other. Neville watched captivated as Graces' breath quickened and her full lips parted eliciting the most erotic of sounds. It was so amative for the awkward Gryffindor to see, someone as beautiful as Graces Malfoy, enjoy being with him in the most intimate of ways.
Neville decided that there could not be anything that felt nearly as remarkable as being with this girl. He cautiously moved his hips in small circular motions, taking in the feel of her warm resistant core around him, before pulling out and then back in moaning uncontrollably after every movement. It wasn't just the physical pleasure either, it was the way she made him feel. He felt wanted, needed, desired, things he had never felt until this moment, and he felt like it was more than just his body that she desired. She could easily have any boy in this school, given her virginity away to someone so much more worthy, but she wasn't with someone else. She was with him and he doubted anyone had ever seen her like this. She was mesmerizing. Her eyes were completely unveiled and Neville couldn't look away from the openness that was being exposed before him. He would never be able to look at her as a cold and emotionless after seeing her eyes like this. This was Graces Malfoy, the real one, what he saw in the halls was just a mask that she utilized to hide and he was fortunate enough to be one of the few blessed to see her remove it. The thought alone set a fire deep in his belly that fueled him forward, until he was now taking her so passionately he was going to give in.
And Graces met his unabated passion just as intensely. For the first time in his existence he felt hopeful, even awestruck, that he could have this, someone who wanted him just as passionately as he wanted them, just as recklessly. Every movement Graces was making, made him believe more and more that this was within his grasp. He felt her legs wrap around him as she clinged to his frame, kissing him demandingly, barely allowing him to come up for air, but he didn't care. Who could care about such trivial things, as air, when Graces Malfoy was kissing him like this? Reminding him of how connected they were at this very moment. He wanted to prolong this feeling forever, he never wanted this to stop, this feeling of being wanted and one with a soul as wonderful and amazing as her. He felt her body still and her core clench around him tightly and then she was begging him to take her, as her slick walls convulsed hard around him. Before he knew it he was taking her so forcefully, that he was lost in the sensation alone. The skin on his groin tingled with anticipation for a few seconds and then he was thrown into what could only be described as sheer ecstasy.
He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily as he tried to gather himself. He felt so amazing, his whole body was shivering with the aftermath of his release. He had never once experienced anything as mind blowing. He smiled as he realized there were just some things a wand couldn't do. A wand certainly couldn't make up for what he was feeling now laying on top of a beautiful girl, feeling her skin that was glistened with sweat from their endeavors, as he drowned in her sweet scent of pink lilies, lavender, and white cotton. The moment he rolled off her, she snuggled into his chest, burying her head under his neck, releasing a content sigh as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. For the first time in the night, Neville felt a small sting of regret. He wished that he could tell her that he loved her, but he couldn't. It would be a lie and he would not taint what they just did with a lie. He knew that he could love her. He had no doubts that if Graces let him, he could love her. He already felt a tornado of emotions for her and he definitely fancied her, but he didn't love her, not yet.
"I could love you Graces Malfoy. If you just let me, I could love you," Neville whispered into her hair, planting a gentle kiss on her head.
The girl in his arms didn't respond though, she was fast asleep. The sandy haired boy just smiled and listened to her steady breathing against his chest, before letting his heavy lids close as well.