A/N (Super Ceech) Well, here we are. The second last chapter. Yes. It's coming to a close. BUT! We already have another parody fic in mind, with some of its chapters already in the works. We're not sure who's profile it'll be on yet, but we'll post the first chapter of it with the last one of this and tell you where it ended up. For now, enjoy this chapter filled with antics and knavery!

"Tetsusaiga!"

Inuyasha's overly large sword came swinging down with unrivalled force and slashed Hiten diagonally. Hiten's last thoughts were, "I was defeated...this half demon...he defeated both of us..."

Inuyasha watched satisfactorily as Hiten's body changed into a blue, featureless figure and then blew away as blue sparkles on the wind. He was gone. Vaporized. Absolutely no chance of returning.

HOWEVER, roughly a year later, after much hard work, a cult of molecule-gathering hippies managed to reassemble Hiten's body back to its original state. And just as they were putting the last molecule in place, Sesshoumaru happened to wander by and give a damn. With a deft swing of Tensaiga, he cut away the death gremlins hunched over Hiten's body, effectively resurrecting the thunder demon.

In a heart beat, literally, Hiten sprang to his feet, looking wildly around. "That damn half-breed! Where is he? I must find him and that stupid girl who can sense the jewel!"

"There's a jewel?" Sesshoumaru cut in, somewhat taken aback.

Hiten gave the white-haired demon a funny look. "Yeah...the Shikon Jewel. It got shattered and a whole bunch of demons are looking for the shards."

Sesshoumaru's mouth opened slightly in surprise. "Someone broke the Shikon Jewel? Why was I not informed?"

"It was reported in Demon Weekly, milord, but your subscription ran out two years ago and you've been too lazy to renew it..." Jaken piped up. "But remember – it was that shard Naraku gave you in order to attach a human arm to yourself, enabling you to wield Tetsusaiga."

"Is that what that was...?" Sesshoumaru mused. "How curious... Ah, well. Come, Rin, Jaken. I have fields to wander elsewhere. Thunder demon, do as you wish. I have no further interest in you."

Hiten watched as the Lord of the Western Lands wandered off aimlessly and shrugged. "I think I will." And with that, he flew off with his flying wheels that had repaired themselves and reappeared miraculously.

The cult of molecule-gathering hippies were left to go off in search of a new project.

..:V:..

Meanwhile, Naraku sat brooding in the dark corner of his empty room of his empty, huge and elusive castle. After staring into nothing for the seven hundredth hour without moving, he leaned back his head and wailed, "Kaguraaaaa, I'm booooored!"

One of his biological detachments shuffled in the door on the other side of the room, sighing irritably. "What do you want me to do about it, my lord?" Kagura gritted through her teeth.

"Entertain me...make it not boring... Oh, I know! What are Inuyasha and his little friends up to?" Naraku asked excitedly.

Kagura raised an eyebrow. "Last I checked? ...Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They were sitting around in a clearing, doing absolutely nothing."

"Haven't you set a new demon out to annoy them yet? I want to see them run around like panicked chipmunks..." Naraku pouted.

Kagura sighed. "They already killed the latest demon. And that puppet of yourself you sent after it. Though I really think you might consider stopping the production of these dolls...you're likely to go bald by the time this is all over."

Naraku barked out a laugh. "Are you kidding me, my oppressed so-called daughter? I've got enough hair here to last ten lifetimes...it's great for storage, you know. I think I may have a tuna sandwich in here from yesterday, in fact...were you hungry?"

Kagura wrinkled her nose. "Uh...no. No, thanks."

Naraku crossed his arms sullenly over his chest. "Fine then... Oh! I know! I discovered the remains of these human mercenaries..."

"So?" Kagura asked, sceptical.

"So?" Naraku challenged. "I'm Naraku and I think I'll resurrect them for shits and giggles."

"How did you plan on doing that?"

Naraku stiffened and fixed his by-product with an intense glare. "Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said I'm Naraku. What more do you need?"

"Oookay...how about a reason – other than that of 'for shits and giggles'?" Kagura asked, knowing she was treading on dangerous ground.

Naraku let out a frustrated breath. "Do I look ominous and evil to you?"

Kagura wanted to say otherwise, but the thought of him holding her heart restrained her. "I guess..."

"And does this not seem like an evil, dastardly deed?"

"Sure..."

"And is it not a fact that if anything, and I mean anything evil or dastardly happens in this world, it can always be linked directly or indirectly back to me?"

Kagura thought a moment. "What about that time when that sheep demon–?"

"That was me."

"Then how about when the crops–?"

"That was me."

"What about–?"

"Me."

"And–?"

"Me again."

"The–?"

"It was all me, sweetheart. All me. Everything evil is always done by me," Naraku said smugly.

"Huh..." Kagura said thoughtfully. "Very well. Carry on with your resurrection plan. In the meantime, I'll send another menial, easily beaten and fairly generic and non-threatening or scary demon after Inuyasha and his friends... By the way...do we know any of their names except Inuyasha? Or do they all just fall under the category of 'and his friends'?"

Naraku thought for a moment. "Oh! I think we know that girl's name, don't we? That...what was it? Ah! Sango! I stuck a shard in her back and stole her brother, wiping his memories... See what I mean about evil deeds? All me. Man, I'm good."

Kagura delivered one last sceptical look before exiting the room. "Suuuure..."

..:V:..

It was a beautiful day in the feudal era. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the rampant demons were nowhere to be seen. Inuyasha's group had decided to pause from their shard hunting and enjoy a nice picnic lunch. The food was delicious and everything was going along smoothly until about midway through the meal.

Kagome suddenly sprang up from her spot and fixed Inuyasha with the most heated glare imaginable. "Inuyasha, you're such a JERK!"

Inuyasha blinked at her over a mouthful of noodles. "A-buh?" he sounded, clueless as to what he'd done now.

"I can't believe you!" Kagome continued to shout despite the baffled looks of all her friends. "You're so insensitive! I need to write some tests, but will you let me go? NoooOooo! I tell you to stop hitting Shippo when he desperately deserves it, but do you? NoooOooo! I tell you to stop fighting with Kouga while I keep subtly encouraging his advances, but do you? NoooOooo! And I want you to dump your undead girlfriend who you're still in love with for me, but will you? NoooOooo! I'm tired of being unappreciated around here! But if you only think of me as your measly shard detector then FINE, I'm LEAVING! And good riddens! You'll be a lot happier without me, I'm sure!"

With that, Kagome spun on her heel and walked off into the surrounding forest, with not a clue how to get back to the well. The others were left in her wake, still completely clueless as to what just happened.

"There was a logical explanation for that, I'm sure..." Miroku said slowly.

"Do you think...maybe you should...go after her and...apologize...?" Shippo asked uncertainly, as if he weren't sure of the answer himself.

Inuyasha, who had bristled at all the accusations, shrugged irritably and gulfed down the rest of his noodles. "Wha' for?"

Shippo raised a finger as if to make a point and then let it deflate. "I...don't know..."

..:V:..

"What an insufferable jerk!" Kagome raged, stomping her way through the forest with no direction. "A conceited, no-good, insensitive white-haired jerk! He's such a jerky jerk jerk-wad! JERK!"

And then, out of intense anger and feelings of utmost outrage, Kagome took off one of her shoes and flung it into the surrounding brush.

"Ow!" an unidentified voice cried out. A moment later, a tall demon with red eyes and a long black braid came shuffling out of the bushes holding Kagome's thrown shoe in his hand. "Did you throw this?" he asked, rubbing his head. Then his eyes settled on Kagome's face and widened in recognition. "Hey, it's you!"

Kagome looked over at him. "Oh, hey, Hiten. Long time no see. Where have you been all this time?"

Hiten spluttered. "Y-you and that mangy half-breed killed me!"

Kagome pondered for a moment. "Oh, that's right. How was that workin' out for ya?"

"I was dead!" Hiten yelled as if that explained everything.

"Well, you're obviously not dead now, so what's the problem?" Kagome blinked at him obliviously.

Hiten looked as if he were about to say something, but then he seemed to think for a moment. "You know...you may have a point. Let's just let bygones be bygones! You're too pretty to stay mad at!"

Kagome giggled and put a hand to her blushing cheek. "Oh, you!"

"Oh–but what about that half-dog demon lover of yours?" Hiten asked.

At the reminder of Inuyasha, Kagome flared up again. "That insensitive asshole?" she shrieked. "A lover of mine? HA! He's so cruel! He steals all the shards we collect for himself–"

Uhhh, no he doesn't...

"–He's constantly insulting every member of our group–"

Never really with conviction...

"–He always peeps at me when I take a bath–"

Sure you're not thinking of Miroku?

"–He beats me every night–"

Since when?

"–He steals my underwear on weekends–"

...No comment.

"–He's always copping a feel when I ride on his back–"

If that were true, why do you keep riding on his back?

"–He never fails to publically humiliate me with his low half-breed status–"

I thought you didn't care about that?

"–And he's started to threaten my family if I ever want to go back home and take tests for school!"

I have it on pretty good authority that he hasn't–

"Shut up, author!" Kagome cut in. "This is my sob story of Inuyasha's jerkyness and you have no right to interrupt or contradict my blatant and horrible falsehoods!"

...So sorry, madam. Please. Continue.

"So you see!" Kagome continued with a dramatic flair. "I would never EVER be with Inuyasha! Despite that whole 'love' thing and all that, you know..."

Hiten sniffled slightly at the tragic tale that had just been revealed to him. "Oh, of course... Oh, you poor, misunderstood and ill-treated girl! Let me slip out of my cruel and uncaring nature and give you a comforting and manly hug full of underlying lust!"

And he did just that.

Suddenly, Kagome felt loads better. "Oh, Hiten..." she sighed, clutching at the front of his clothes-armour-stuff that he wore. "Will you–?"

But she could get out no more. For suddenly, she was on her back on the ground, pinned by Hiten's body above her. "Oh, Hiten!" she cried in her best flaky, damsel in distress-but-not-so-adverse-to-being-in-"distress" voice.

"Kagome," Hiten breathed heavily and lustfully – very lustfully. "I can't resist you...you drive me wild with desire. I need you."

Kagome took a moment to reflect. "You really don't mind that I was partly responsible for killing your beloved brother?"

Hiten shrugged. "Not if you don't mind I killed that little fox child's parents."

Kagome broke out in a grin. "Then I guess we're all set for the path of true love! ...But first, could you go get me a drink? I'm really thirsty."

Hiten stood up and brushed a few grass blades off his clothes-armour-stuff that he wore. "Oh, sure. No problem. I'll be back in a few, babe!"

And with that, he flew off.

Kagome smiled happily to herself. Soon all would be great. She had left that uncaring Inuyasha behind and got herself a great new boyfriend. Everything was spiffing!

She waited for him to come back...and waited...and waited... After fifteen minutes after he'd initially left, Kagome got frustrated, bored and lonely, and decided to go look for her glorious, sensitive and wholesome new lover.

She trudged faithfully through the brush for another five minutes before she stumbled upon a clearing and saw a black-braided man before her, with his back to her. "Hiten!" she cried happily and launched herself at him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and snuggled right up close to him.

"Uh...what?" the young man inquired in a baffled and surprised tone.

"Oh, Hiten, my love, don't kid around with me!" Kagome laughed shrilly, releasing the man and turning him around to face her.

"No, really...what?" the man asked again, just as confused.

Kagome stamped her foot and adopted a petulant expression. "Hiten, don't tease me so!"

The man leaned forward so that he and Kagome were eye to eye. "I'm not Hiten, lady! My name's Bankotsu!"

This is a tad reminiscent of Inuyasha's first meeting with you, Kagome...

"Oh, who asked you?" Kagome snapped irritably.

I was just on my way out...

"That's better...now, Hiten, my love–"

"I'm not Hiten!" Bankotsu cut her off. "I'm Bankotsu!"

"Well, really, what difference does it make?" Kagome demanded, once again stamping her foot. "I'm hot and you look like Hiten – what's the problem here?"

Bankotsu was about to protest, but then thought differently about the idea. "You know, your logical is hard to beat," he conceded. "But really, if we're going to hook up, I'd much rather you call me Bankotsu than Hiten. We're clearly different individuals."

Before Kagome could respond, a familiar voice cut her off. "I'm back, my sweet!"

Hiten suddenly flew down from above and landed in the clearing, looking from Kagome to Bankotsu curiously. He was loosely holding a cup filled with a purple beverage in his hand.

Bankotsu gave Hiten the once-over. "Ha! You see! I have brown eyes and bangs whereas he has red eyes and no bangs! We may be both sadistic and cruel and in every other physical way alike, but we are clearly different characters!"

Kagome's expression was dismayed. "Ohhh...now there are two of you! How will I ever be able to choose between you? I guess you'll just have to fight over me!"

Bankotsu had an uncertain look. "Well, I don't know about tha–"

He never got to finish his sentence, however, because Hiten launched himself at him, yelling, "I'll do anything for lust! Die, vermin, die!"

And so Kagome looked on as Hiten and Bankotsu grappled and tussled, rolling around on the ground in an all-out brawl.

"Did you orchestrate this?" Jakotsu asked Kagome, walking up beside her with a disturbingly gleeful look on his face. "Very niiice..."

"Uhhh..." Kagome looked at Jakotsu uneasily and inched slightly away.

"AHEM! Just what exactly is going on here?" Naraku's slithering voice announced his presence before he too entered the clearing. "Bankotsu, didn't I revive you so that you could annoy Inuyasha and such? What are you doing?"

"Aren't you supposed to be kinda dead or disappeared or otherwise impossible to find 'cause you're hiding in a purifying barrier of doom where you will soon absorb a mountain and make another detachment that will contain your human heart, thus enabling you to kill Kikyo...again...with no more luck than the last time...?" Kagome asked him.

Naraku shrugged. "Tomato, tomahto... You really just need to relax and let the technical issues slide. I mean, if it works for the purpose of the story..."

"Hm...plot-driven plot-holes...what a fascinating concept..." Kagome mused.

"Isn't it?" Naraku agreed amiably. "But back to the matter at hand. Bankotsu! Why have you made me come all the way out here in the dreaded sunshine to make me put you back in line?"

"Uh...sorry, Naraku, sir," Bankotsu said as he and Hiten disentangled themselves from one another and straightened up. "We were just, uh..."

It seemed that the ties holding Bankotsu and Hiten's braids had been lost or shredded in their tussle and all of a sudden, their hair flowed out, restrained by the braids no longer. Each of their hair was somewhat crimped from the previous hairdo and as they turned around, Kagome was faced with Bankotsu, Hiten and Naraku; three evil bishies with long, slightly crimped black hair and looking practically identical.

If she had had a dilemma before...

"Ahhhhh!" she screeched. "There are three of you!"

The three evil bishies exchanged horrified glances. "Ahhh!" they screamed in unison.

"Wait!" Bankotsu cried. "I am still unique! I have brown eyes and bangs!"

"I have bangs," Naraku pointed out. "And red eyes!"

"I have red eyes too," Hiten protested.

"You're like...you're like...all the same, except with two different features mismatched throughout the three of you..." Kagome said in half-fright, half-awe. "I wonder if it's like a collector's set...find a brown-eyed, bangless evil bishie and you've got the whole collection!"

"The important thing here is for you to choose who you want to be with!" Hiten insisted in an impatient tone.

"Bu-bu-but you're all like...the same! Well, except that perhaps Naraku gets more sinister music accompanying his presence than you other two..."

"You know it, baby!" Naraku said, winking and totally forgetting why he was there in the first place.

"But how can I choose between three of pretty much the same person?" Kagome wailed, clutching her head in complete indecision.

"I know I wouldn't be able to," Jakotsu piped up. "But really, if three gorgeous men all wanted to be with me, I wouldn't be able to turn any of them away."

Kagome turned to face him, shoving a finger in his face. "Let's get one thing straight. You're creepy. ...But you may have a point." She turned back to the awaiting evil bishies. "Alright, gir–er, boys! You'll just have to timeshare me!"

"Well, Kagome and I already have those midnight trysts going on since the fourth chapter..." Naraku mused. "So you boys can split up the rest of the time to be with her."

"Hot diggedy damn!" Hiten crowed. "How about we alternate, each getting her every other day?"

Bankotsu shrugged. "Sounds like a plan to me."

"What's all the ruckus?" Kagura asked, coming into the clearing with Kanna.

"I just got myself three new boyfriends who are sure to treat me better than Inuyasha ever did!" Kagome cried happily. "C'mon, guys, let's go get better acquainted!"

And with that, Kagome scampered off with her three evil bishies to undoubtably indulge in activities involving LUST and PRIMAL INSTINCTS.

Jakotsu was left with Kagura and Kanna in the clearing, gazing after the love flock as they departed. But suddenly, Jakotsu caught sight of Kagura's hairdo. With a slight shriek, he gazed into Kanna's mirror and took in how his hair was styled in nearly the exact same way.

"Oh, bloody hell..." he sighed in resignation.

Oh, bloody hell...

A/N (Super Ceech) One last chapter to go...can anyone guess what it will be? -evil grin-