Confessions: Collins
"You watched Mimi?"
"Yep. I know the drill. October 27th, 9 pm, Eastern Standard Time. Tom Collins here."
"Okay, so I'm just going to ask some random things. Not all the questions will be the same as Mimi's. And any time you want to stop, just let me know."
"Sounds good."
"Okay. In three days is the anniversary of Angel's death."
"I knew that was coming. You said this was sort of a present for us and her? Hey, Angel baby. You let us down, honey. You were supposed to be immortal! Then again, you kind of are. I see flashes of you in everyone. Mark's dedication, Mimi's beauty, Maureen's style, Joanne's love, Roger's passion. You left something behind not soon forgotten.
"You remember when we asked ourselves, 'Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?' Just to let you know… we care. I love you, baby.
"Okay, enough sad! So… yeah. Halloween. Angel's favorite holiday. I think… because she could walk down the street as a woman for a whole day without being stared at by tourists. Its my favorite--- scratch that. Second. Second favorite holiday, because I can act five again. Like we did at the Life. Its so freeing. But we're getting off-topic."
"You always were like that! Keeping us on track."
"Oh yeah. Blame my dad! You know how I am? Multiply that times ten and then you have my father! He always sounded like, deep voice, James Earl Jones. Always 'coming up' with stuff like, 'Early to bed, early to rise', and outrageous things like that. He really wanted me to do well in the world, but we didn't have a lot of money, so we didn't have that many opportunities. My only way in was to get a scholarship. Straight A's for me, Jack! I'd come home from school with a good test, show it to Dad, and he'd say something like, 'What's this 99 percent? My son only excels!' Sort of half-joking, half-serious. So, it just got drummed into my head."
"What was you're mom like?"
"Oh, you know. Picturesque, apron-wearing, constantly baking, the works. So sweet. I loved her. And if anybody messed with her son… look out! Mother grizzly! She was the one I confided in when I discovered I was gay. I didn't know how she would react, but the way she did… it was just so her. She wanted to accept me, and keep her perfect family unit at the same time. I told her, and she just sat back, taking it all in.
" 'You're sure this is what you want?' she asked.
" 'Yeah,' I told her. She just nodded and kissed my check. The only woman I ever loved.
"Dad, on the other hand… he didn't know how to handle it, what to think. What happened to his son he perfectly molded into a model citizen, destined to win and become the first black president? He tried to 'fix' me. I came home from school once to see two girls waiting in my room…. Waiting for something they couldn't have."
"Were they your first?"
"Oh, God no! Dad thought it would flip my…erm… desires, but all it did was make me extremely uncomfortable. My first was called Dan. Bi, you see. He gave me AIDS. When I took the test and it turned out positive, I stayed away from men for a long time. Until Angel, actually. I didn't want to spread the disease, you know?"
"Who is your hero?"
"Galileo. He died for something he believed in. He didn't care about his own life so much as letting the world know what he needed to know. Passion and commitment like that.
"Its like, why doesn't the world feel about things like that anymore? We've become so… indifferent to everything around us. We simply don't care! If people would just feel! Feel anything! All of you, Roger, Mimi, Mo, Jo, Mark… hell, Benny! Open up your emotions! Feel!"