Disclaimer

I, Charles Michael Lee Barnes Jr. (A.K.A. ulti_sonic, B.K.A. Ultimax), do not own any part of Cartoon Network's Franchise or broadcasting properties and privileges. I am not Maxwell Atoms nor do I know him. I am just a bored "Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy" fan who was kept out of school because of a bomb threat. I hope you like this fanfic. But to those who don't like it because of the fact that I took your favorite show and butchered it in a fashion that displeases you, I say unto you, Lighten the hell up. It's just a fanfic for goodness sake.

He's Mine

Have you ever wondered why Mandy is always so protective of Billy? Maybe it's the fact that she is afraid that Billy's stupidity will DESTROY US ALL! Maybe it's because Mandy is a very lonely girl who is afraid of being alone so she seeks the security of an idiot to hide her true feelings of being left alone. Or perhaps it's the fact that she hates everyone else and has a sick fetish for stupid kids her age. But you know what? I think Mandy has feelings for Billy. She always hangs out with him. Why would someone like Mandy befriend an idiot like Billy? Who knows? But that is what this story is about. Mandy gets in a fight with Mindy and tries to flush out her feelings by making her jealous by dating Billy. Please enjoy.

It was a sunny day. Everyone in Endsville were doing things that you would do on a sunny day. People having a picnic, kids riding bikes, pedestrians walking there dogs. Yes it was a fantastic day and Billy takes notice of it.

"Oh, what a beautiful day," Billy says with excitement. "A day like this can't be spent in doors. I know I'll go to the park and play with my-" then all of the sudden clouds covered the sun and one single beam of light shines down on Billy. "Brand new General Rex Dinopinoid Action Figure complete with jet roller blades that really works. I can't wait to fire this baby up, uh-huh." Then off Billy went to the park.

Meanwhile, at the park, Irwin was flying his kite around. Billy then shows up and tackles Irwin. He rolls a good distance and he got tangled up in his kite line.

"Billy!" he screams in fury! "What is the deal, yo!" Billy simply replies, "hey Irwin whatcha doin?"

"Well, I was trying to fly my kite until you-"

"Behold…" Billy interrupted. "*gasp*, yo" Irwin said in awe.

"That's the new General Rex Dinopinoid Action Figure complete with jet roller blades that really works. How'd you get it, yo?"

"My mom bought it from our computer"

"You mean she bought it off the internet?"

"No. She gave the computer some money and the computer transported it into the mail box like magic."

"Cool, yo. Hey lets fire it up."

"Yeah." Billy looked at the box to try to read the directions but they were Japanese. "I can't read the directions," Billy said. Irwin snatched the toy from Billy to see if he could read it but Billy snatched it back. Irwin then jumped on Billy's back and then they both fell.

Grim and Mandy then arrived. "Hey pinhe-" Mandy tried to finish her statement but couldn't because she was surprised to see Irwin and Billy in a naughty position. It looked as though they were playing "baseball." "Ew, man. That's disgusting and that means a lot coming from me," said Grim. Billy and Irwin stopped fighting as soon as they realized what it looked like they're doing.

"Oh, hey Mandy," Irwin said first. Inside Irwin's head, Irwin was talking with himself.

"OK, Irwin. This is your chance, yo. You've been practicing for days and now you're ready. You are going to grab Mandy and give her the kiss that will satisfy her so much she won't help but to fall in love with you. Now get out there and show some love." Irwin grabbed Mandy by the hand, pulled her over, tipped her then gave her a kiss, tongue and all for at least 10 seconds.

Mandy thought to herself "This guy has got to be kidding me. First I see him butt fucking Billy and now he has the audacity to kiss me. No ordinary kissing, mind you…French kissing. I admit he has balls but no one does THIS to me and suck at doing it at the same time." Mandy then punched Irwin in the mouth when they finished kissing and started kicking him. She then took Grim's scythe and stared at Irwin.

"Oh, Mandy," Irwin whimpered. "Please don't zap me again. It hurts, yo.

"Oh, don't worry Irwin I won't zap you any more and you won't kiss me any more," said Mandy devilishly.

"R-R-Really?"

"Oh yeah. Because I am going to kill you right now."

"Noooo." Mandy raised the scythe and sliced him three different ways.

"Mandy what do you think you're doing?" said Grim.

"Something I've should've done a long time ago," said Mandy.

"You've any idea what you've done, child? Killing Irwin was my job… and was supposed to be my pleasure."

"Well, times change and don't even think about bringing him back or at least not yet. Now come on lets blow this pop-sickle stand. Come on Billy."

"Ok. Bye Irwin," said Billy totally ignorant of what happened to Irwin. As soon as they left dogs, rats, cats, and birds came to devour what was left of Irwin.

When Billy was running toward Grim and Mandy he bumped into Mindy who was practicing cheerleading.

"What the hell…,"said Mindy. "Hey Mindy. Check it out General Rex can sing the Dinopinoid theme song," said Billy. Cindy grabbed and picked up Billy by the shirt. Mindy then said "You stupid idiot, you through me off."

Then a voice said out of no where "Hey, you! Put the Billy down and nobody but you will get hurt." It was Mandy.

"Damnit, that Mandy bitch is really getting on my nerves. She thinks she so hot. I'm hot! What does she want with this pathetic loser anyway," Mindy thought to herself.

Then it hit her; why is this opinionated, control freak so protective of useless Billy? They always hang out. They do every thing together. She then realized that Mandy may have some feelings for Billy. But there was only one way to make sure. She would have to make her jealous by going out with Billy.

"Wow, some people can be so rude. Can't you see me and Billy is sharing an intimate moment?" said Mindy.

"What are you talking about Cindy?" said Mandy.

"IT'S MINDY! *ahem* I have just confessed my undying, kept secretly love to my Billy"

"Impossible!" said Mandy. "There's no way you can be attracted to him. He belongs to me."

"Oh, excuse me. I didn't know you two were dating."

"We aren't dating."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No."

"Then you won't mind if I take Billy off your hands, right?"

"Hey, wait a sec."

"No way. I love Billy and he is now my new boyfriend and since he is not related to you and you guys aren't dating he does not belong to you. So there is no reason why I should wait for anything. I mean since you obviously don't like Billy there shouldn't be a problem. Am I right?

Mandy replies "uh…"

"Then it is settled. Bye Mandy. Come on baby lets go play."

"Bye Mandy. Bye Grim" said Billy.

"Ew, I think I'm gonna puke" Grim said. "I wonder what that was all about. So what are we going to do now?"

Mandy held her head down in disappointment with a mixture of sadness and defeat. She lost Billy to Mindy. It started to rain and she told Grim that he can go home. As soon as he heard this he danced and jumped around with glee. Then he slowly stopped and walked back to the pitiful looking Mandy because he just realized something. He stared at her and said "You like Billy don't you?" Mandy did not reply. She just sat down in the rain. "I knew it" said Grim. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me. I really can't say who I feel sorry for, you or Billy. Oh, well. See you later."

Mandy continued to sit in the rain as she reminisced on the times she spent with Billy. She remembers the first time they meet. Mandy was a new kid at school who really didn't get along with the other kids because of her bitter personality. She really wasn't a people person. Billy became her friend because Billy liked the way her hair was styled. Mandy was shocked and didn't know what to say from that point. Billy then was grabbed by Spurgg and he gave Billy a wedgie. Mandy then punched Spurgg in the jewels and told Billy to come on. "Hey, my name is William but you can call me Billy. That's what everyone calls me. You can be my new best friend" he said.

Mandy never changed the style of her hair because of what Billy said and they were friends ever since. She had quite interesting experiences with Billy and she isn't finished sharing some more with him.

Mandy went back home to get Grim's scythe. She was not going to let Mindy take away Billy like that. "Come on Grim," she said. "Let's go get my Billy."

Meanwhile over at Cindy's house, Cindy was trying to play with Billy but she was just uninterested in him. She started to have second thoughts about this whole thing when Billy started riding her like a horse but then again, she thought, it was worth it. Lightning struck and blew out the power to the house for a split second. Then it came back on with a wet Grim and Mandy standing in front of Mindy and Billy.

Mandy took advantage of this moment (because Billy was still playing horsy with Mindy) and said "Oh, Billy Bob Horny Pants. You like riding mommy dontcha'? You like to ride mommy like a pony, huh?"

Mandy lost her mind and pushed Billy off of Mindy and grabbed her by the throat. "So you like things up your ass, huh?" Mandy said furiously. "Well you won't mind if I stuff this scythe right up there."

"Wow, Mandy," said Mindy. "You must really like Billy to go this far." Mandy squeezed Mindy's throat tighter, squinted her eye's, and looked into Mindy's and said "You have no idea." Mandy slapped her to the floor and gave out some demands.

"Grim, take off her clothes and bring her parents in here. Billy play my favorite song on the CD player that Mindy stole from me (Mandy's favorite song is 'Blinded by Chains' by Avenged Sevenfold)" she said. "Hey Grim, put on some coffee, too. It's going to be a long night."

[ WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC SCENES AHEAD!]

Mandy did some cruel and nasty things to Mindy and her parents. She first carved her name on their backs with the scythe except for Mindy. She carved bitch-ass cunt on her back. She made them all have sex with each other while Grim took pictures and Billy video taped it. She chopped off Mindy's father's penis and made Mindy eat it. Then she made her regurgitate it into her mother's vagina. Then Mandy made Mindy suck out the wound of her father and she swallowed it. Mindy got sick at through up again. Some of her mess got on Mandy's shoes so she got mad. She broke off a peg of Mindy's wooden bed and started beating her ferociously. She swatted her in the face multiple times until she was unrecognizable. Her face was a bloody pulp and full of splinters and slithers of wood. Hours later after switching Mindy's parents' internal organs with each other she made Mindy clean all the blood, sweat, cum, and other body fluids and wastes up with her tongue. Then she zapped Mindy with the scythe. A magical source painfully turned her inside out and she died.

"Ok let's get out of here" said Mandy. They walked out the house and with one last swipe with the scythe Mandy ripped a hole to another dimension and Mindy's house got sucked in through it.

"All this playing sure made me hungry" said Billy. "Fortunately I found some chocolate in the back of my pants, hmm." Mandy smacked the 'chocolate' out of his hand, looked at him and said, "It's good to have you back Billy."

Billy looked at Mandy and shrieked, "Ah, Grim. Look at her face."

"Ah, it's horrible" Grim said. "She's smiling…and crying!"

Mandy notice what she was doing and quickly changed back to her normal. "No I'm not" she said. "Let's go home." Then they started walking.

"Hey Mandy what did you do to your hair?" said Billy. "It's beautiful and smells like a tasty cheese burger."

"*gasp*, are you blushing Mandy?" said Grim.

Billy screams and says "It's the end of the world."

"Run for your lives, man" added by Grim and then they both run.

Well how did you like it? Sorry about the graphic ending parts but hey I was bored so don't blame me. Review why don't ya.

***Author's Desk (12/2009)***

My…God…what's wrong with me? That was so disturbing that I had to add more graphicness to the graphic part. I'm so demented. Anyway, this was like my most popular story. I can see why, but it had SOOOO many errors! It's a good thing I care enough to come back to correct them.