Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, except Graces Malfoy & Thomas Higgs, who are my own. I do not claim any ownership of the characters or settings contained within. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line
Author's notes: As usual thank you to my beta Denarii for editing the chapter! And my BF Aleah for reading it over a few times until it was ready!
Special thanks to Slytherin99, TrueColorsNeverFade, LooseFur, Lil Miss Sunshine14, bekkivobekki, noone297, Guest, Manoirmalfoys, galyardt, Phoenix, Bharm, spannieren, Blue Luver5000, Lizzy B, and Snakespur for their reviews! You all have no idea how much I enjoy them. I literally check my phone all day for you guys' reviews!
Chapter 27
Neville desperately wanted to believe that neither Graces or her brother were involved in what happened to Katie. No one else seemed to think that they could have been involved, but Harry seemed insistent that Draco was. While everyone else seemed keen to ignore Harry's theory of Draco being a Death Eater, and him setting out a trap that somehow ended up going askew and hurting Katie, Neville couldn't shake the feeling that it may be true. Ron and Hermione easily dismissed it, but they didn't know all that Neville did.
Granted, Neville didn't know if Draco was a Death Eater, or even why he would set out to do anything that would end up accidentally hurting Katie, but he did know that something was going on with the Slytherin boy. It was hard not to pick up on things about Draco when he was always the center of Graces' world. The first night they were together was, after all, because she was so worried about him that she had decided to drink herself numb. And in the same night she had told him about how Draco was punished by… well, punished by him. If Draco was being punished in the inner circle, wasn't it possible that he was a Death Eater like Harry was saying?
Neville had heard a bit of what Harry believed was going on late last night before he snuck out. Harry had been talking to Ron while they thought the rest of them were asleep. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop on such a private conversation, but when he kept hearing the name Malfoy he wasn't able to help himself. He heard all about Draco's side trip into Knockturn Alley before school started, the sneaking away from his mother and sister, wanting something fixed, and showing his left arm and threatening the owner of Borgin and Burke's. Then there was the discussion Harry had apparently overheard on the train ride to Hogwarts where Draco had told Blaise he didn't think he would be at Hogwarts much longer, that he had better things to do. Ron had of course made a point that it was all circumstantial evidence at best, and also pointed out that his father had followed Harry's tip and a search team was not able to uncover anything from Malfoy Manor, but Neville saw a lot more reason to believe that Harry was on the right track.
Still, despite the evidence, he wanted to believe it wasn't true, that there was no connection between the Malfoys and Katie Bell's injury, but Graces hadn't met him in the Greenhouse. He had waited all night for her to show and she hadn't. She and Draco had also been missing from dinner, a sign Harry was declaring as evidence of their guilt. Neville had tried to approach her during breakfast, but the blonde had ignored him completely, clinging to her brother's side and refusing to look up to where he was sitting. Which was why he was once again standing in the hall waiting for Graces to finish tutoring the younger years, only this time he was smart enough not to drag her in a closet.
When the last of the younger years were gone, Graces emerged from the library.
"We need to talk," Neville whispered, taking the girls arm and leading her to an abandoned classroom, not allowing her to get away, even when she began trying to tug her arm free.
"Longbottom, let go of me!" she hissed.
Neville turned sharply into a random empty classroom before standing firmly against the door and facing Graces.
"Where were you last night?" Neville asked slowly.
"None of your business," Graces spat, brandishing her wand. "Now move."
Neville shook his head in refusal. "Not until you tell me what is going on."
"It's really simple. I couldn't make it out last night, which isn't that surprising considering what happened to Bell, and you decided to overreact and rudely force me into a classroom."
"You have been avoiding me all day," Neville gritted. "I even sent you an owl this morning, which you also ignored. You didn't come down for dinner last night, and you are being more odd than usual."
"I'm never odd!" Graces exclaimed, offended. "How dare you—"
"Does it have something to do with what happened to Katie?" Neville broke in, throwing propriety out the window.
"I don't know what you are talking about," Graces clipped coldly, her silver eyes taking on a dangerous look.
"Graces, don't do this," Neville begged. "Just tell me. Katie is really hurt. She almost died, and she still isn't well, if you know what caused this then—"
"So you automatically jump to the conclusion that Draco and I are involved," Graces interrupted, now seething with fury. "Well, that's just great. Glad to know you thought of me first."
"That is not fair," Neville argued. "You know I have reasons to believe that—"
"That I would hurt some random girl? That Draco would want to hurt some random girl? Did you think we were sore after last year's Quidditch match or something?"
Neville reddened, and immediately wanted to back down. He wanted to apologize and admit he had jumped to an awful conclusion, but something in him was nudging him to continue.
"I don't think Katie was the one meant to be hurt," Neville said slowly, watching for Graces reaction. She had seemed to calm down, and was waiting for Neville to say more. "I… uh… overheard Harry and Ron talking, and—"
"About me and Draco?" Graces gasped, her mask falling for a brief moment. Neville nodded, calmly still watching Graces. "What did they say?"
"Harry believes that you wore that outfit to distract most of the people at the bar, so that Draco could get the necklace to someone in the bathroom and have it delivered to someone at the castle," Neville muttered, flushing slightly from the accusation.
"I did not wear that outfit to distract people!" Graces shouted, a deep crimson blush staining her face.
Neville bit his lip, unsure if he really wanted to continue this line of questioning. "Well, you don't usually dress like ...like that," He muttered, his voice trailing off as he spoke.
"I did not look inappropriate!"
Neville knew Graces was offended, that he was already on dangerous ground and that if he continued like this there was a good chance he could damage her pride to the point where she would become vicious. He wanted to stop, to not argue with her, but he could still hear Katie's screams echoing in his head. He could still see her sheet white face burned into his eyes, and the soft sobbing of her friends in the Gryffindor common room.
"It wasn't that you looked inappropriate," he continued slowly. "It's just that it was out of the ordinary for you, and even I can't give reason for why you would make such a drastic change."
"So you just go with Potter's theory?"Graces asked bitterly. "Wait. What am I saying? Of course you would go with bloody Harry Potter's theory. Who wouldn't listen to the Chosen One. The golden boy—"
"That's not fair!" Neville argued. "I'm allowed to ask questions and I think this is a valid one. You almost never go anywhere without Draco, and all of the sudden you show up to the Three Broomsticks without him, dressed… well, dressed like that. If you weren't trying to distract everyone then why would you—"
"I WASN'T DRESSED LIKE THAT TO DISTRACT EVERYONE! I JUST WANTED TO DISTRACT YOU!"
Neville frowned. He was sure that what Graces was saying made sense, but it wasn't making sense to him.
"What? What do you mean distract me? Distract me from what?"
Graces continued to flush and looked away. Neville stood as still as possible waiting for Graces to work up some nerve to answer him. He watched as her face went from humiliation to anger to frustration.
"Surely, you're not that dense," she bit out, still refusing to look at him and instead staring at the corner of the floor.
Neville continued to frown, still not quite getting her meaning, until it suddenly dawned on him. He knew that the discussion they were having before was quite serious, but he couldn't suppress the small smile that came to his lips or the overwhelming feeling of joy that was warming his heart as he realized why Graces had dressed up.
For a few moments they just stood away from one another, Graces berating herself over her foolishness, and Neville rubbing the back of his neck thinking of what to say or do next. Eventually he moved towards her, and though she tried to shrug him off he continued to wrap his arms around her and moved his lips to the curve of her neck under her ear.
"You don't need to do anything to distract me, Graces," he said quietly. "You distract me without even being in the room. My thoughts are always with you."
He knew it was an exceptionally intimate statement to make. That it was the kind of statement that could have the girl in his arms pushing him away again, but Neville decided to stand by it and held Graces tighter against his chest as she continued to just look away. Neville didn't allow how tense Graces became to discourage him, and instead began gently making circles with his thumb on her arm and when she began to slowly relax he placed a small kiss on her neck.
"You know you don't have to say pretty things to get in my knickers," Graces said begrudgedly, still not quite meeting his eyes. "We already agreed to what this was."
"I'll keep that in mind," Neville nodded, allowing Graces to justify what they had however she needed for the time being. "Since there is no need for me to say as you call it 'pretty things' can I ask you to face me so I can hold you properly?"
Graces glowered for a moment, and eventually turned and faced him. Neville ignored the pettiness of Graces' turn and held her close to him until she laid her head on his chest. He knew something was wrong, he could tell by the way Graces was burying herself in his shirt, by the way she wrapped her arms around him so that her fingers were at his shoulder, and he knew she was purposely monitoring her breathing making sure to keep it steady.
"Graces," Neville said gently, moving his hands under her shirt so the warmth of his palms could be against her lower back, making slow flowing movements to comfort her. "I would never betray you, and it has nothing to do with that amulet you have around your neck. Do you believe me when I say that?"
Neville felt a series of emotions wash over him when Graces gave a small nod into his chest, and he continued to rub soothing circles on her bare back before continuing.
"Graces, what happened?" Immediately Graces tensed.
"I don't know."
"Graces, please Katie is really hurt and-"
"I said I didn't know!" Graces was now out of his arms and glaring at him. Neville sighed and reached out to touch her, but she jumped back. "Don't touch me. I know what you're doing and it won't work!"
"Doing? What are you talking about?"
"You're trying to manipulate me into talking to you. Hoping I would give you some detail that would betray my brother," Graces accused, her voice edging on hysteric. "Well, it won't work."
"Graces," Neville sighed, now rubbing his face irritatedly. "You are being ridiculous. I'm not some evil mastermind that wants to get you to hurt your brother. I was just trying to comfort you. I want you to tell me about what happened to Katie so we can get her help, but-"
"I don't know what happened to Katie!" Graces repeated again, anger rising up in her.
"You could talk to Draco, I'm sure he would-"
"I don't know if Draco did it!"Graces shrieked. "You think he tells me anything anymore? We barely speak. Draco would never confide anything like that in me. He would keep it a secret to allow me plausible deniability. I have no way of knowing what happened to Katie. I only can assume like the rest of you!"
Neville knew that Graces knew. Even if her brother was refusing to tell her anything, he could tell from the look of anguish all over her face and body language that she knew Draco was a part of it.
"You know some of it," Neville said sadly. "Maybe not all of it, but some. And you don't trust me enough to tell me."
Graces stood there silent, but holding herself up proudly. As though not telling Neville was justifiable, and daring him to argue.
"What do you think I would do?" Neville asked, examining her quick silver eyes tenderly. "Do you think I would say anything to anyone about it? That I would get Draco in trouble, even though I know how much he means to you?"
"You're a Gryffindor," Graces spat. "You would do it for justice."
"Maybe that is what I should do, but I wouldn't. I can't protect you the way Draco can. I don't have the same knowledge of what is happening on your side of the war to be able to do so. Keeping you safe means keeping Draco safe and I know it." Neville closed the distance between them and encircled Graces' hand in one of his while the other brushed against her cheek. "I would never let anything happen to you, Graces. And I certainly wouldn't take away one of the last people who can protect you. I wish you would trust me."
"I do trust you," Graces whispered, moving so that her hand was holding Neville's against her cheek. "If I didn't you would be dead. I would never allow you to live if I thought you would hurt Draco. I would have killed you the moment you asked about his involvement. I may not trust you completely, but I trust you to a great extent." Neville knew that what she was saying was true. That if she had thought for one moment he was a threat to Draco she would kill him. Neville wondered if she would even hesitate.
"Would you cry at my funeral, Miss Malfoy?"
"Don't be foolish. I wouldn't even attend," Graces smirked, not moving her hand from his; allowing his thumb to caress her cheek.
"I see," Neville whispered. "You would mourn in private, huh?"
Graces frowned, but she didn't deny Neville's joke. He stared down into her stormy eyes, and without understanding why pulled her into him and kissed her.
There was something calming about holding Graces, about knowing who she was and what he could expect from her for the time being. This was growth. To anyone else Graces' statements would have placed a certain amount of apprehension in someone's heart, but it didn't for Neville. This was the beginning stages of strong trust. Neville knew that this was in many ways twisted, but he didn't care. He held her tighter and wished for only a brief moment that she was normal enough that he could tell her he was falling in love with her.
Graces eventually pulled away, her eyes avoiding his as her cheeks flushed with a mixture of fever and embarrassment.
"Do you always kiss people that discuss killing you?" she asked, wanting the intimacy to be over and gone.
"Certainly not," Neville frowned playfully. "I didn't kiss your aunt, now did I? Or your father for that matter. I think if I kissed everyone who discussed killing me I would have snogged half your family."
Neville could tell Graces was trying not to laugh at his joke, but it bubbled out of her mouth before she could fully stop it. They were silent for a few moments, Neville holding Graces and her leaning her head on him.
"It was an accident," she whispered, staring off into the room and holding him tight. "A very unfortunate accident. Bell was never meant to be hurt." Neville nodded and pulled Graces more securely into his arms.
"Why did it happen though?"
"My trust doesn't extend that far for you," Graces said shaking her head, and pulling away leaving Neville with an empty feeling. "I have to go. I should have been in my common room hours ago."
"Oh, okay," Neville conceded sadly. "Good night." Graces was almost at the door before Neville called out again. "Graces! Can I see you tomorrow? After classes, I have something to tell you."
Graces turned and frowned for a moment at the door. "Is it important?"
"Uh… You may feel it is."
"Stop avoiding the question, Longbottom. Is it important?"
There was a pregnant silence. A silence in which Neville debated telling Graces what he needed to discuss with her. If you don't tell her, and she finds out you can kiss that trust she has gained for you goodbye.
"Luna knows about us…" Graces didn't respond at all, she just stood motionless and wide eyed on the floor. "I didn't tell her," Neville continued quickly. "Don't worry she would never tell. She's even excited about it. Anyways, she just figured it out. She said something about you in the bathroom, smiling, stuff like that, and then she—"
"Please stop talking," Graces whispered, her hand up in the universal sign to stop as she clutched her stomach. For a moment, Neville wondered if she was about to be sick, and rushed to her side offering her his hand to support her, but the blonde eventually pulled herself up. "Does Lovegood mean something to you?"
"You are not seriously thinking of hurting Luna, are you?" Neville asked, surprised at the venom in his voice.
"She knows about us," Graces stressed. "Do you have any idea what will happen to me if—"
"Luna is my Draco," Neville said firmly. "She's family, and I won't let any harm come to her. Do you understand?"
"You would just allow the harm to come to me," Graces surmised, tearing away from him.
"That's not fair," Neville gritted, trying to be patient. "You sound like you want to kill her for that. Don't you think that is a little dramatic? I know you would be disowned, but come on, do you honestly think Draco would do that to you?"
Neville expected Graces to continue arguing with him, but instead the blonde just stared at him. The stare began to wear on him, it didn't seem like the glare of someone upset. It was as though Graces' mind was figuring out something, and that something made her even more sick than the knowledge of Luna.
"Graces, are you okay?"
"I want an unbreakable vow from her," Graces muttered, not looking up at Neville but using his broad shoulders for support as she stared down at her feet shaking like a leaf.
"An unbreakable vow? Graces, that's ri—"
"If you can't get her to agree we are through. I mean it, Longbottom, we'll be done. I'll go to another country and pay a Legilimens to go in my head and destroy every memory of you. I swear to the Gods above and below I will."
"Do you know how dangerous that is? How much damage that causes? Not to mention how rare it is for someone to have it done and not suffer any permanent damage with memory and-"'
"I am aware of all of that, and I don't care. You will get her to agree or it will be done. I want it done tomorrow morning after breakfast."
"An unbreakable vow is a serious thing, Graces. You won't even let her think about it for a day?"
"No. Tomorrow morning, or we are done. I'll pay whatever it takes to forget about you, about this and if that payment includes my mind, I won't care."
Graces was now tearing towards the door, not allowing Neville to argue with her further. She paused for a brief moment and looked over at him.
"I don't want this to end, Longbottom. I… I like you. Maybe even more than just like, possibly fancy…" Graces was bright red, and she seemed to be having a hard time continuing. "But… I can't risk Lovegood talking. I… I just can't. I'm not a Gryffindor. Self-preservation," Graces shrugged. "Please, do this for me. For us. If you aren't in the first floor girls' bathroom tomorrow with Luna after breakfast, I'll assume this is over. I really hope I'll see you there." Neville could hardly breathe as Graces looked up at him, her silver eyes gleaming from unfallen tears before she left the room.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Neville did not want to do this. It felt wrong to ask Luna to make such a sacrifice. It wasn't her responsibility to do these things for him, but at the same time he couldn't not ask. He had stayed up most of the night writing letter after letter to Graces telling her he wouldn't do it, only to throw each letter in the trash before sending it. He wanted to send the letters, but each time he finished one he felt like he was just saying goodbye. Goodbye to her forever, and with that thought he couldn't do it.
"Luna," Neville said quietly, blushing as a few Ravenclaws who obviously heard the rumors giggled around him.
"Neville!" Luna didn't seem to mind the muttering, and just jumped up from her seat and flung herself forward, giving Neville a surprisingly bone-crushing hug. "Are you here to have breakfast with me? We have blueberry muffins today. They're my favorite."
"Umm.. sure, do you want to take some and eat in the courtyard?"
"Like a picnic?"
Neville nodded, and helped Luna grab a few muffins before they both walked over to the courtyard.
"Luna," Neville began, once they were alone in the courtyard. "I… I have to ask you something, for a favor and—"
"I can do it," Luna said, picking the blueberries out of her muffin and tossing them on the ground for Nargles.
"You don't even know what it is yet," Neville frowned, now feeling truly awful considering how much Luna trusted him to not ask so much.
"Okay," Luna hummed, "What is it then?"
"I… I told Graces about how you knew, and, well, she didn't take it very well." Luna just continued to stare up at him, with her glass eyes. "She… she wants you to make an unbreakable vow not to tell." Neville couldn't bring himself to tell Luna about how Graces was going to never see him again if she refused. It didn't seem right to place that on her shoulders.
"That's fine," Luna shrugged, popping the whole top of the muffin in her mouth causing her cheeks to puff.
"Luna, it's not fine. You do not have to do that. You, of course can say no."
Luna just waved her hand around in the air, dismissing Neville's statement.
"Is fine," she mumbled her mouth filled with sweetness, before she began swallowing it down.
Neville stopped walking and turned to face Luna, placing both of his hands on her shoulders and lowering himself down to her eye level.
"An unbreakable vow is serious, Luna," he said slowly. "Breaking it means—"
"That I'll die." Luna didn't seem at all bothered by this fact. She seemed to accept it as easily as the sky was blue, and dismiss it as easily too. "I am in Ravenclaw, Neville. I understand what an unbreakable vow is, and I have no qualms agreeing to it."
Neville nodded, and told Luna of how they were to meet Graces in the first floor girls' bathroom. The two of them walked in silence, Luna looking up at him the whole time.
"Why are you upset?"
"You shouldn't have to do this," Neville whispered, not looking up from the ground.
"I don't mind."
"I do," Neville stated, clearly growing angry. "It's not right."
Luna stopped before the bathroom door.
"What will happen if I don't do it?" Luna asked, curiosity evident in her voice. Neville blushed and told her not to concern herself with it. "It was apparently important enough to ask," Luna pointed out, moving her hand on the door handle teasing it with her touch.
"She...she said she would end this… and even go as far as to ensure she can't remember me. Remember us."
Luna nodded, and began opening the door.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"Good morning, Graces." Graces turned from the sink to see Luna skipping into the girls' bathroom. A beaming smile on her face. "I saved you a muffin. Neville and I had a picnic of sorts this morning. There was no blanket, but it still counts as a picnic doesn't it?"
Graces looked over at Neville who had remained by the door, a pointed look in her direction letting her know she was expected to be nice.
"Yes, I suppose it does. Thank you," Graces said quietly, awkwardly taking the torn up muffin.
"I took the blueberries out," Luna mused. "For the Nargles. They like blueberries. Do you like blueberries?"
Graces shook her head, and played with a few crumbs on the muffin. "Not really. Sometimes in sweets."
Luna nodded and then proceeded to stare at Graces with her wide eyes. It was becoming very uncomfortable for the Slytherin the longer Luna just continued to stare, but she did her best to just bare it and face her.
"Sh-should we just get on with it then?" Graces asked, after what seemed like hours.
"Don't want to exchange more pleasantries?" Neville scoffed, moving from the door to stand between the two girls. "Or finish your breakfast?"
Graces looked away from Neville and his harsh words. She was staring away when Luna's hand reached out in front of her. She stared at it a moment, wrinkling her nose at the dirt under the nails.
"We're supposed to hold arms," Luna instructed, smiling pleasantly as though she did not notice Graces scowl or the discomfort lingering in the room. Graces eventually reached out to grasp Luna's forearm, though she was still refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "You smell nice," Luna commented dreamily. "Neville, don't you think she smells nice?"
Neville looked at Luna for a moment, and then over to Graces before nodding grudgingly.
"It's like… lavender, cotton and-and something else," Luna continued, not realizing how awkward the situation was becoming. "Do you wear perfume?"
"No, I-I can't wear perfumes," Graces said awkwardly, trying to speak louder but only managing a whisper. "I'm too sensitive." Luna just stood waiting for Graces to continue, though the blonde was hesitant to. "I, uh, use a lavender soap, a... rose shampoo and a non-scented lotion."
"There's something else though," Luna hummed, moving closer. "I can't put my finger on it."
"Lilies," Neville muttered. "Pink Lilies and white cotton."
"It's really intoxicating, isn't it?" Luna asked, looking at Graces as though she were something to be studied.
"It is," Neville agreed, but still refusing to look at Graces at all.
Graces was now staring up at Neville, something twisting inside her at the way he was speaking about her. He sounded hollow, and for some reason the hollowness in his voice as he described her made a lump grow in her throat.
"I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't, aren't I?" she asked, moving her hand away from Luna.
"You are not damned if you don't," Neville stressed. "Luna would never tell anyone. Why can't you just trust me on this? Why do you have to endanger my friend? Name one reason for this vow? There is no need for this damn vow, Graces. No reason."
"Sure there is," Luna declared, taking Graces arm back. "Peace of mind." Graces stared at Luna for a moment, not understanding her at all and frightened by the understanding she was receiving. Luna reached up and tucked a strand of her hair away, allowing her fingers to linger. "You don't have much peace do you, Graces?"
Graces went to move away, but Luna pulled her back taking her arm and moving Graces' fingers so they were encircling her own. "I want to give you peace Graces."
"Luna, this is really dan—"
"Neville Longbottom, I'm a big girl that is capable of making her own decisions," Luna interrupted, sending Neville a scolding glare. "I am well aware of the dangers of an unbreakable vow, and I am still consenting to it."
"I just don't feel right about you doing this for me," Neville sighed, running a hand through his sandy hair as he shook his head.
"I'm not doing this for you," Luna corrected, looking back over to Graces. "I'm doing it for Graces, and if you refuse to bond the vow we will find someone else. Won't we, Graces?"
Graces hesitated to answer, and again looked over to Neville. Would he ever forgive her for this? Could she forgive herself if she didn't take the vow and Luna accidently told?
"Neville is quick to forgive," Luna reminded, leaning into Graces neck, so Neville couldn't hear. "He will understand if you give him opportunity to." Graces wanted to say something, but her tongue couldn't seem to move. It felt as though it were dead weight in her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a few steadying breaths, afraid that she was going to make herself sick with anxiety. "He will forgive you, Graces. I promise."
Graces never imagined that she would be gripping Luna Lovegood's arm for support. That she would have to stop herself from moving into her and hiding, but that seemed to be where she was at. Luna was in no way her friend. She had no desire to ever speak to her after this, but she was the person in the room that made her feel at ease. She was the only witch who had ever offered her something this great with no strings attached. Slowly she nodded her head, and tightened her grip even firmer around the small girl's arm.
"We're ready now, Neville," Luna said, her eyes never leaving Graces.
Graces saw Neville move closer, but kept her eyes on Luna.
"Will you, Luna Lovegood, keep mine and Longbottom's affair a secret?"
"I will."
"Will you swear not to give any hint to anyone that you have an idea of something going on between us?"
"I will."
"And not breath a word of us having so much as a friendship?"
"I swear."
"Unless we choose to go public," Neville added, looking over at Graces with a look that said he would have no argument. "Add that in."
"Will you keep these vows for the rest of your life unless both Longbottom and I choose to go public," Graces repeated hollowly.
"I will."
A brilliant gold string issued from Neville's wand and wrapped around Graces and Luna's hands and wrists. Intertwining so neither knew where it began or ended, until it dimmed away into nothing.
Graces opened her mouth to thank Luna, but before any words could escape her lips Neville had moved his arm around the Ravenclaw girl and was briskly walking with her to leave. Luna looked back at Graces giving her an apologetic look before the bathroom door closed and Graces was left all alone.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"You are being rude," Luna intoned, as Neville continued to push her down the hall, not seeming to notice she was having a great deal of difficulty keeping up with his pace.
"I don't care."
"People tend to say that when they do care," Luna pointed out, deciding to skip to keep up with Neville's strides. "It's an odd thing. Do you believe that if you deny your feelings they won't exist?"
"Luna, I am in no mood," Neville warned, maneuvering in and out of students rushing to class.
"You most certainly are in a mood," Luna giggled, not caring that Neville was so angry. "You're in a very foul mood."
"Well, I don't really have any reason to be in a mood other than foul do I?"
Luna stopped her skipping and jerked Neville's cloak so he could no longer stride away.
"Maybe you should ponder on this," she suggested, her smile disappearing. "Why would she feel the need to obliterate all memory of you?"
"Because heaven forbid she doesn't have things her way," Neville snarled, reveling in his righteous anger towards Graces.
"She could have just threatened to call this all off in order to get her way. There was no need to endanger her own mind. I think that she knew she would not have been able to stay away from you." Neville stared at Luna. "She needs to forget everything about you in order to keep away from you, Neville. I think that maybe you should focus on that for a bit. See if your mood changes."
Luna then turned and skipped off down the hall towards her class, leaving Neville with her words. Neville knew that he should continue on to his own class, but he couldn't seem to muster up the strength to leave the hall he was standing in. His next class was Herbology. He would have to face Graces, and at the moment he did not feel that was the best of ideas. One downfall of Graces being the only person he felt comfortable enough to display his anger towards, was that he would display his anger towards her. And Neville, despite how much he was infuriated with the blonde, did not want to yell or be cruel towards her.
Well that settles that. I obviously can't go to class.
Neville briefly considered heading back to the common room, but he really didn't feel like being cooped up. Knowing he could not stay in the castle without getting in trouble with Filch and Mrs. Norris, he decided to walk far off the grounds. He passed by the Greenhouse and felt a tinge of guilt for not being in there. Graces was so horrible with the practical aspect of the lessons, and he knew that she would be struggling today, but he still felt the distance would be better. He didn't want to be outright angry towards her. He needed to cool off, to get more of a grip on his feelings so that he wasn't just being hostile towards her.
It's not a dangerous plant today, she will be fine. I, however, need to calm down.
With that thought in mind he walked past the greenhouse and towards the lake. He didn't even walk with any conscious thought. It seemed his legs were guiding him all on their own, as though they knew where he should go. Neville breathed in the cold morning air, and for a moment missed being home in the countryside with his gran. If he was home he would spend the morning gardening and walking to town, running errands for his gran. He missed having early morning walks like that, time when he could be alone with his thoughts. He didn't have much time for that at school. Even now as he walked along the lake it was stolen time as he should be in class, but he so desperately needed it.
He needed time to think and to be alone. To have a moment of peace and not be distracted by pretty blondes or whispers about Katie Bell. He just needed to be alone and regroup. He refused to feel guilty for needing that. Eventually as he walked he stopped thinking of all the things plaguing his mind, and his mind began to drift: to the plants around the lake, to fond remembrances of being afraid of the giant squid until Seamus and Dean tackled him into the lake to prove that any monsters lurking had better things to do than attack students. He thought of Harry during the triwizard tournament with the merpeople, and then finally to Graces. His mind always seemed to wander over to her eventually. He thought about how nice it would be to be holding hands with her as they walked around the lake, and longed to live in a world where that was possible.
With a heavy sigh, he took a seat down under some trees and allowed his mind to tease him with daydreams of such a world.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Graces had had a miserable time in herbology. And it wasn't because her plant immediately began to wilt, as though it was depressed by the sight of her, nor because Granger and Abbott ended up being her partners and both had ignored her. Actually, if she was being honest that was probably the only good part of class. What made their partnership truly awful was that both girls had not stopped talking about Neville the whole period: where he could be, why he wasn't at breakfast, how they had seen him with Luna in the halls, and that it was so out of character for him to skip class. On and on they discussed Neville's absence, not realizing that Graces was the reason.
But Graces knew, and the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder rang in her ears all through the period. She missed Neville working with her, missed how patient he was with her, missed the small talk he would insist on having, even though she would ignore it. She missed his awful herbology jokes, made right at the time when she was getting frustrated, and she just in general missed him.
For the first time in her life she wished that she was a Gryffindor, that she could be brave enough to trust others with the skin on her back. It was a silly wish, a wish that her father would have scolded her for having, a wish that her brother would have insisted she give up, but still it resided in her. If she had possessed even a small amount of that bravery she could have allowed Luna to walk out of that bathroom with no vow between them, Neville would not be away from her, and—
—your brother, mother, and father would be executed. Stop this nonsense at once. You did what you had to do. You kept the people you love safe. You did what was smart. Let morality be damned and your family live.
Graces took a few steadying breaths to gather herself. This was not at all how she expected to feel after the vow. She had thought a weight would have been lifted off her chest, that she would finally be able to breathe easy again, but in actuality she felt as though that pressure in her chest had doubled. She felt like she was going to lose Neville.
It was odd feeling the terror that came with the thought. She was well aware that she was not going to ever have a happy ending with the sandy haired boy. That what was going on between them would end. Had to end. And yet, she missed him so much right now she ached. She didn't love him. Graces knew that she didn't love him, but she now realized that he had gone past just being someone she enjoyed spending her time with and was now someone she in many ways needed.
All of the sudden feeling very sick, she lingered back from the group of Herbology students heading back to the castle. No one noticed her absence. The whole class seemed determined to just pretend that a Slytherin was not in their midst, so it wasn't hard to sneak away to the lake instead of head to her next class. She already felt better as the last student entered the castle. She needed some space. She needed to think of how to approach Neville the next time she saw him. She started walking aimlessly around the lake, just trying to clear her head in order to think.
If I was home I could use my father's pensieve. I should buy one of my own. They're exceptionally useful. It's not like I couldn't afford one, I just never got around to getting one. I should owl mother and—
The blond girl's thoughts were immediately interrupted when she saw Neville sitting in front of her by the lake. Graces stood looking at Neville for a moment. She knew he was angry, that this anger was different from the other times she had upset him, and she genuinely didn't know what to do. She watched as Neville stared out into the water, and wondered if he now regretted her. She imagined he did. Imagined that things were different when no one he loved was in danger, but now that Luna had taken the vow that surely changed his feelings. She wanted to make him understand, to tell him everything: that disownment was not what she faced if they were ever discovered, that she was facing a fate worst than death unless Draco mercifully killed her himself, but she couldn't bring herself to place that burden on him and couldn't risk him leaving if he knew.
Graces slowly inched closer to where Neville was sitting and gently came up and ran her hand down the back of his head to his neck, like she had seen her mother do thousands of times when her father had been mad with her. Neville turned and looked at her, and she leaned down and gently kissed his lips. It stung when he didn't kiss her back, but she just closed her eyes and lingered near him. He had not pushed her away either.
"I want to tell you a story," she murmured, blindly wrapping her arms around him and kneeling to her knees. "And I am hoping that you are not too angry with me not to listen."
Graces opened her eyes when she felt Neville's warm palm against her cheek.
"I'm listening."
Graces nodded and took a steadying breath as Neville moved to allow her to sit with him. Neville was always kind. This was one of the things she so loved about him, that he was always willing to listen, to forgive, to be affable rather than callous. She knew he was angry, but unlike her he was willing to put his anger aside so he could understand.
You love something about him?
I love a trait he has, that is allowed.
"My father always wanted my mother," Graces started, nervously winding her fingers in a piece of her long hair. "And being a Malfoy, he had come to just expect the things he wanted. All the other girls in Slytherin would have died to be with my father. He was handsome, rich, ambitious, captain of the Quidditch team and had this air about him that demanded respect from all. He was extremely popular. I think that he just expected my mother to see that he was the best and automatically be with him without any thought. But, to my father's dismay, when he asked my mother out fourth year to a ball she declined."
"My father could not believe it at first. He thought she was just playing hard to get, and acted at first like he didn't care. He even asked out another girl, trying to get my mother jealous, but it didn't work."
Neville looked over at Graces briefly and waited for her to continue.
"She felt he was a pompous, arrogant ass, and made it a pastime to ignore him any chance she got. One time, it must have been my mother's 5th year at Hogwarts, she was dating this boy and they had been on a few dates here and there, but nothing really serious yet. Anyways, after one particular date I guess he was getting a bit handsy, and my father jumped out of nowhere and hexed him against the wall. He then proceeded to beat the poor bloke bloody saying he was to keep his hands and lips off his future wife."
"You're kidding," Neville stated in disbelief. "What did your mum do?"
"She threw a huge fit, ended up hexing my father so badly he had to stay with Pomfrey for a day, and even went in and screamed at him in the hospital wing. She was absolutely livid. My mother isn't the kind of woman to yell. When she is mad she allows her silence to show you her anger, but she made an exception for my father on this occasion and yelled at him when he was laid up in the hospital wing. She called him an assortment of names and declared that she would never, ever be his wife, that she hated him and never wanted to see him again."
"I bet your father liked that."
Graces turned and smiled over at Neville. "He did. My mother thought it would just deter him from her, but it did the opposite. After she did that he was completely in love with her. She was the only person to ever dare speak to him like that, and therefore the only one that he could ever see as an equal. He loved that my mother had this fierceness about her, that she didn't let him intimidate or manipulate her into thinking what he wanted. He just loved everything about her. The problem was that my mother didn't know him."
"My father said that he knew the moment she left the hospital wing that his life would be empty without her, and swore he would make her fall in love with him. Do you know what he did?" Graces asked, looking over at Neville who shook his head. "He humbled himself to her."
"He started making it a point to follow her to class and ask her about her day, to read the books she was reading and listen to the music she liked. He would talk to her and not at her. And he was patient. It didn't happen overnight, and it was a hard process for him. My father doesn't allow many people to see him, and it was difficult at first for him to strip himself down and be just himself with her. Not to mention it was hard for him to get her alone to show her who he was, but it worked. My mother is an early riser, and my father took to waking up with sun like her so he could have an hour alone with her a day."
"It started out with him just sitting quietly at the morning breakfast table, then he started asking her one question a day. Usually simple things like if she finished this essay, or what she thought of that week's potion assignment. But slowly he started asking more meaningful questions and then they actually began to have discussions."
"By the end of her 6th year she was always thinking of him. She went from hating his guts and never wanting to see him, to getting butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him and anxiously awaiting their early Saturday morning breakfast in the Great Hall. And during the summer when my father owled her asking to take her on a date she accepted."
"Graces," Neville said slowly. "As much as I enjoy hearing about your fam—"
"I'm not done," Graces whispered, bringing her finger to Neville's mouth. "My mother told me that it was during the date when she realized she was in love with him. She said it was the most magical night of her life. She and father just sat at a private table for hours talking and talking and at the end of the night when he took her home he kissed her goodnight. She went to bed that night feeling as though she had drank a bottle of amortentia. She said it was like a heaven had been born for her on earth. Everything was perfect. But when she woke up her whole world had crumbled over night."
"My mother has two older sisters, did you know that?"
Neville shook his head, he really had not kept up on pureblood families.
"Her other sister's name was Andromeda. She was a year older than my mother. They had all three been very close growing up, but Andromeda became more distant with my mother that year. My mother had just assumed it was because she was so busy preparing to graduate and she didn't want her annoying kid sister pestering her all the time, but it wasn't. She had apparently been seeing some mudblood in Hufflepuff, Edward Tonks, and the morning after my mother and father's first date she had run away to marry him."
"My mother and my aunt Bellatrix were ruined," Graces whispered, looking out into the water imagining what it would have been like. "It was such a great scandal; no one could ignore it. The middle Black daughter running away in the middle of the night to be wed, is of course something that is scandalizing, but add to it a muggleborn and it's … it's just so much worse. Everyone was convinced that it was my grandparents' fault for doting so much on their daughters. Then there was of course discussion about the moral values that the Black daughters were being raised with."
Neville watched as Graces stared out into the water. She looked so sad, he didn't understand why she felt sad about events she was not around for. Clearly it all worked out in the end.
"My father stopped owling my mother after that, and my aunt Bellatrix's engagement was called off by her fiance. He said he refused to marry a woman of such low caliber, that he wouldn't taint his own family tree with such a disgraceful branch. My grandfather, in his fears that what people were saying were true and that this was all indeed his fault, started locking my mother and aunt up in their rooms at night. Can you imagine becoming a prisoner in your own house like that? It was terrible for them. My grandfather just… lost it. The Blacks tend to have a temper… It's a family trait, and as you can imagine my mother and aunt had to face that rage on a daily basis."
"In a last effort to try and salvage the family my grandfather arranged a courting ceremony for both his daughters, the dowry being everything he had. He had hoped that money and a lavish, old, pure-blooded tradition would be able to bury all memory of his disowned daughter. He really did want my mother and aunt to have good marriages. He wanted to know that they would be taken care of and have happy lives. He was harsh on them that summer, but he did love them. And… and he was scared for them. Especially with the rise of the Dark Lord, he was worried what would happen to his little girls if the pureblood society they lived in saw them as tainted. People were already starting to disappear every day. He wasted no expense on the ceremony, and sold as much as he possibly could in order to give both girls a dowry that he hoped would persuade any suitor to forget what was being whispered, but it wasn't enough. My aunt's ceremony passed without a single suitor and my mother's did as well."
"My mother said she cried all summer non-stop after that. She had been sure that my father would have at least came, but he didn't. His invitation had even been sent back without being opened." Graces looked over at Neville now her eyes clouded like a winter storm. "She did that to them. How could someone do that to their own sisters, ruin their lives like that?"
"She was in love," Neville defended.
"That makes it okay to rip away two other people's happiness? To embarrass the family that had loved and raised you?"
"I'm sure that she didn't mean—"
"She knew what would happen. She knew what would have been done," Graces said bitterly. "She had grown up in our world her whole life; she knew. My aunt joined the Dark Lord after that. She felt she needed to prove her loyalty and saw that Regulus had restored some of the family name with his joining after Sirius had left as a blood traitor. It wasn't enough, though. It wasn't enough to save my mother's reputation."
"So what changed things?" Neville asked. "Obviously, your father and her were married. What happened?"
Graces gave a little smile, and Neville watched as her anger diminished.
"My father happened," she said quietly. "My mother returned to school, and was of course isolated. No one spoke to her or showed her any kind of kindness. After the sorting ceremony she was in the common room and about to sneak off to bed, knowing she wasn't welcome to join the others and my father stood up in the common room and called her name stopping her."
"He said Narcissa Black, you are a ruined woman. You have been black listed among the purebloods, and cast away from all good society. No man is willing to marry you, even with a generous dowry. Of course at this point my mother was crying, but my father didn't relent. He walked right over to her and continued. He went on to say any man that even considered her to be a bride risked the same fate. And that only a foolish man would risk a fate like hers, a fate worse than death. Then he got down on his knees, took out a ring, and said, 'Narcissa Black, I am a foolish man.'"
"My father didn't go to the ceremony because the first part of the ceremony involves a ritual to make the girl forget who all the men are. It's done so a woman can eliminate suitors and there be no discussion on if she had given them a chance. He was convinced that my mother would eliminate him. She had disliked him so greatly before she had gotten to know him. He knew that no other men were planning on going to the ceremony, but he felt that my mother had despised him so greatly that she would still eliminate him even if he was the only suitor. The magic of the ceremony guarantees that once a suitor is eliminated that woman will never wed him." Graces smiled for a moment. "It's actually a rule that favors the woman being courted, s family couldn't force a girl to marry a suirtor she disliked, but in this case it worked against my parents."
"As you know my mother agreed to marry him, and my father set to work to repair the damage that was done to her name. If anyone uttered a word against the Black girls' virtues they would disappear. People eventually caught on that my father would have no one speak harshly about his fiancée. He even went and paid a dowry to my aunt's old fiance to get him to take her back. And that is how Bellatrix Black became Bellatrix Lestrange. As you can imagine the marriage was no longer a happy affair after that, but my aunt wanted it nonetheless, though not for the typical reasons. You see as part of my aunt and uncle's marriage agreement they have a fidelity charm, and as you realize my aunt has never born my uncle any children. Money can't fix everything I suppose. It can't fix betrayal. It did allow my aunt to gain revenge, though."
Graces turned and looked over to Neville. "Who would do that for Draco? How would my brother recover from such a scandal if people found out about us? He's the patriarch right now, and we are living in dangerous times. Not being able to keep his little sister in line would show a great weakness in him, and our enemies would be quick to rip him apart. I understand you want to protect Luna, but I want to protect Draco. He actually is my flesh and blood. I'm already doing so much against him, I can't allow him or anyone to ever find out. I know I should stop seeing you, but I can't. I need something to get me through the days. But I can at least make sure none of this touches Draco. I couldn't live with myself if I became my mother's sister. I couldn't. I would rather die a thousand deaths than hurt him the way she hurt my mother. That's why we can never go public." There was a pregnant silence after Graces' last statement. Neville remembered the look on her face when he added on to the unbreakable vow, and he felt his heart drop so low that it was beating in his stomach. He wondered if maybe this all should end, if it would be easier to cut the ties that bonded them now. He looked over at Graces to ask what she thought, but couldn't say anything as he looked over to discover that she had been staring imploringly at him the whole time. "Please understand me, I don't want to lose you as my friend. It's sad, but… you're the only one I feel I can talk to anymore. I think I would go mad without you."
Neville didn't know what to say after that. Part of him still wondered if ending things between them would be best. He didn't want anyone getting hurt, and it sounded like Draco was very much in danger of being hurt. But at the same time, Graces had basically just admitted to needing him, and he didn't want to leave her if she needed him. He would be lying if he didn't factor in his own selfish desire to still be with her.
If you stay you will be in love with her when it has to end. You need to walk away. For your own self-preservation, walk away now!
Neville closed his eyes for a moment, ignoring the harsh voice screaming in his head.
I'm a Gryffindor, self-preservation be damned.
"I understand now," Neville said quietly. "I'm still not thrilled about Luna's vow, but… I understand why you felt such a need for it."
Graces did not respond right away. She sat on the damp ground for a long while just staring up at him.
"You-you really understand?"
"No, Graces, I just enjoy lying to you," Neville smirked, before being serious and leaning down and gently kissing her. "I understand. That's what happens when you talk to people, they tend to understand where you are coming from."
Suddenly, Graces' arms were around him, and Neville couldn't help but smile as Graces continued hugging him fiercely. He wondered how close she thought she was to him walking away from her. Not wanting her to have any doubts about where he stood on that subject he held onto her as well, making sure that he was the last to let go as she pulled away.
So, we're friends now?" he smirked.
Graces gave Neville a small half smile. "I touched a half-blood's blood. I wouldn't do that for just anyone. We're friends. That is… if you want to be."
Neville thought about everything that Graces had just told him, allowing her words and Luna's words to swirl around in his head. Silently he reached out and took her hand in his. It was going to be a hard road with Graces and he knew it. He knew that odds were his heart would be torn apart at the end of it, but if he turned back now then he would be a coward. Because only a coward would turn away from a girl like Graces for self-preservation. And Neville Longbottom with all his flaws was no coward.
"I want to be."
Please don't forget to review/follow! I think 26 pages deserves some recognition :P