C26: Sleep deprivation is a strange thing; they say you can hallucinate, by they I mean the forty dancing pink buffalos that have been following me round for the last few days. I'm trying to write something good so here comes an encyclopaedia of pointlessness entitled…

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How to get a Dalek to lay an egg & 33 other things to do with one, 28 of which are impossible even if you had an actual Dalek

Part one: Then fun stuff

Activity one (this one involves cling film and that kinky chocolate body spread)

Okay, I was lying about what the entire activity involves; I'll come onto that later. The first activity mainly involves knowledge of repeated sketches in David Walliams and Matt Lucas' repetitive repetitiveness that is Little Britain, a dalek, two rubber ducks and a lot of glue. I won't tell you about it yet, but this is probably the lines of conversation you'll have to use to convince your wheelie bin to do this.

You – "Come on, do it!"

Dalek – "Negative human being, you will be exterminated!"

You - "Aww, I'll be your friend"

Dalek – "What's that?"

You – "Someone who doesn't hate you"

Dalek – "I've always wanted a friend

You – "Really?"

Dalek - "NO!"

You may end up slightly dead but you've convinced your Dalek to do this activity (Yay! Finally this freak's gonna get to the point! – the readers) Now what did I say you needed? Oh yeah, a lot of glue to start off with, first buy 500 tubes of prit stick, and cover your dalek with glue that doesn't usually work, there's no point to it but the end result isn't bad (See picture below by 56 pages, HA! FOOLED YOU!)

Now, kill the arrogant Nancy boy jumped up (THIS WORD WAS CENSORED BECAUSE IT IS TOO RUDE SO UP YOURS READERS YOU LOAD OF ---------!) by the name of James Blunt, only joking, I just felt like writing that.

Now, get your freak who knows too much about little Britain and push him off a bridge (you can do it yourself)

Now, so far you have got no where, and have a dalek covered in glue and two rubber ducks left to complete this activity with, which is completely useless, unless you send a Dalek covered in glue into the mall demanding every copy of hello magazine in the place, yeah, how about that for an activity!

Stick the two rubber ducks to the Dalek's head and send it into a mall demanding every copy of hello magazine, that should do for a first activity, then we'll move on to activity two, that one has random appearances of the words up and down in French!

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah! Daleks! THEY WILL CONQUER THE EARTH!

END RESULT SCORE: 3/10

NOT EVEN THAT GOOD!

Now to close this activity I will leave you with a prediction of the end of the next Dalek episode

Dalek – WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED DOCTOR, SURRENDUR

Doctor – I'm afraid Daleks your reign of terror is over, for I have this

Dalek – What's that?

Doctor – An antisocial behaviour order, it says you can't stay out beyond 5pm without your parents

Dalek – Tits, well that's our plans foiled, lets throw some stones at a garage door!

Thank you, you hateful people and good outnike to you