C26: Yes readers, despite your complaints, its back, with more things to do with a dalek if you had one

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How to get a Dalek to lay an egg & 33 other things to do with one, 28 of which are impossible even if you had an actual Dalek

Part one: Then fun stuff continued

Activity two: (This one involves the death of George Bush and several gallons of milk)

If only it involved the first one! And the several gallons of milk. It does however involve the following items/people: a box of Kleenex tissues, two trees, an elastic band, a merry go round, the words Elton and John, Elvis Presley's corpse and of course, a dalek.

Now take the words Elton and John and mix up the letters to form the word bilzoavye, how you do that is beyond me so don't ask, now here's how to get the words into a Dalek's brain.

Tie it to a chair and stick a magnet to its head, it doesn't do anything but it looks freaky (see picture not included HAHA! MADE YOU LOOK!). Make it watch a film where a human is just standing against a brick wall saying the word bilzoavye over and over again for 5 years, until its all the dalek can say.

Now, tie the elastic band round two trees into a catapult shape and set the Dalek into it, now, leave it there while you go and buy the box of Kleenex tissues, you don't need the tissues, all you need is the box, hang it from the eyepiece so the dalek doesn't know where he is. Now, catapult it into the shop where you got the tissues. This is probably the way the conversation between the dalek and the people will go.

Dalek - My vision is bilzoavye, I cannot bilzoavye

Shopkeeper – Look, just don't kill!

Dalek – You will be bilzoavye, bilzoavye, bilzoavye, bilzoavye! Exterminavye

I know this may seem pointless, but if you send fireworks shooting in behind the demented dalek the results are as follows:

12 psychotic leprechauns appearing out of thin air and scratching all humans to death and yelling "Ohh, you won't get me lucky charms"

A sequel to the movie Hellboy may occur (god help us all)

END RESULT: -1097/10

NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS THE LAST ONE

Here is a clip from the return of the Daleks return

(Shows Rose cowering in fear from a strange shadow)

Rose - Ahh! Doctor who are these mysterious creatures

Doctor (played by Ant or Dec) - ay up, I'm the Doc, and who might you ba

Rose - Doctor

Doctor (dead ringers accent) - Yes, I am the Doctor

Rose - You're doing it again

Doctor - Yes, these are the most evil creatures in the universe, terrifically powerful

Rose - The Daleks?

Doctor - Worse, it's the French

Dalek (French accent) - You vill be Extreimilated Doector

Doctor - stop chucking those snails at me!

Dalek - Make me you poncy Geordie scum!

Thank you ladies, gentlemen, and cybermats and good outnike to you