C26: Hello you lucky grateful people who will send me lots of review….yes….BWHAHAHA!
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How to get a Dalek to lay an egg & 33 other things to do with one, 28 of which are impossible even if you had an actual Dalek
Part three: The stuff that could have been fun if it wasn't so crap
Activity fourteen: (This involves me not explaining what this activity involves and leaving you to work it out for yourself…..oh alright it involves staples and paperclips)
I this activity I will use over expressive similes. The most expressive simile I have ever thought up is the following: "Dawn broke over the barren wasteland like I sicked up sunny delight"
I will mention that simile at random points… what? Oh I'm not on the Jerry Springer show anymore? Oh right…oh yeah, the activity!
This activity will involve the following useless things: 99.99 of George Bush's brain (And I quote "90 of our imports come from outside our country" and if that's not bad enough "God help America") you will also require: several hospitals, Bill Gates' dog (In the sense Bill Gates does not own a dog, I don't know this for certain I'm just making excuses to open brackets, oh Its time to close them now)
Five chickens, one hundred and twelve packets of bread mix and the question "Why don't bananas come in tins?" you will also need my own garden shed (where my Garden shed Is I won't tell you, do you really think I'm stupid enough to put my address on the internet, everyone who reads this crap probably lives in America anyway) you might need your Dalek if I remember what this fic is about
First replace your Dalek's brain with the 99.99 of George Bush's brain but leave about 0.01 of the Dalek brain which will try and reason with the Bush's brain but stupidity always triumphs over common sense so the Dalek will order everyone in the world to invade Iran and steal their oil, if any reporter asks why it is doing this the Dalek will tell reporters that "Them wot lives ere knows, and God told me he saw it on the internet"
Now is your moment to point and jeer at me………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………….
Right, cover the Dalek in bread mix and get your chickens to peck it off, by which time the Dalek will be dented beyond belief, either that or just get the dog to lick the bread mix off. I have no clue what to do next, but I think you can tell I'm just talking endlessly which is what I've been doing for the last twelve and a half chapters (Yes I put some effort in during the first half of activity 1)
Now, so far George Bush should be…himself, the 99.99 of Dalek brain will have lost to the 0.01 of Bush's brain because its IQ is amazingly in minus figures, the Dalek and Bush will team up to try and conquer the world.
Wait, this isn't good….OH MY GOD!
END RESULT (Which I have noticed missed earlier, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?)
-67/FLOOJIP
WHY?