OK, I'll admit it took a little longer than I promised, but here's chapter 5. I was planning to make one long chapter to finish this story but ended up making two shorter ones instead. Here's the first of the two:

Family Portrait

It was a Friday night, and Lorelai and Rory were having dinner at Emily's and Richard's. Not because they had to- the deal they once had finished once Rory graduated- but because Emily had suggested to have dinner for old time's sake, with Rory around and all, and Lorelai hadn't been able to think of a good excuse to get out of it.

It was a gathering of four Gilmore girls around the dinner table this evening; both Luke and Richard were kept away by their jobs. After Suzannah had told them all about her progress in ballet class, and Emily had complained about her staff for about ten minutes, the unavoidable happened; Emily turned to Rory, cleared her throat and asked the question Lorelai and Rory had been betting on would come.

"So, Rory, have you decided what you want to do with your life yet?" Emily's voice sounded as if this was simply a question to keep the conversation floating, but Rory knew it was more than that. She knew her grandmother wasn't too happy with her making beds at the inn when she could have gotten a job in journalism.

"Actually, I got a very interessting e-mail the other day. Apparently someone in this rather large New York paper has been reading some of the stuff I wrote during my last job. So now they want me to come and work for them" Rory said with a smile on her face, happy to have something to answer. "Nothing huge or anything, I'd probably be running around getting coffee for people, but it would still be a step up from what I did before," she continued. Emily was pleased.

"That's wonderful! When will you go back?" she asked, before she realized that she might have sounded as if she wanted her granddaugther to leave as soon as possible. Before she had the time to correct herself, she was interrupted by Lorelai.

"She hasn't accepted it yet, Mum. I've told her that she doesn't have to go back to live in that appartment if she's not sure she wants to." Lorelai explained. She wasn't sure if she was too keen on Rory going away again, but she wanted this to be her daugther's decision.

"I understand that, Lorelai." Emily said before she turned to Rory again. "Still, it must be lovely to have some options. I suppose you don't wish to live in your mother's house forever." Rory shook her head and was about to answer when Suzannah interrupted her.

"I'm going to live in this house forever!" she exclaimed. "Can I, Mummy?"

"I think you'll change your mind about that when you're a little older," Emily said with a smile.

"You bet..." Lorelai mumbled and took a sip from her glass. Emily frowned at her, but decided to keep quiet as to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere.

When Rory and Lorelai were driving home little later, they talked about the job offer Rory had gotten.

"It would be so totally stupid of me not to take it. I mean, we found out that I could get my old appartment back, so at least I have somewhere to live. And it's...it's a great opportunity, I guess..." Rory was thinking aloud.

"Sure. But remember, if you want to stay at home for a little longer, it's no trouble. We love having you, you know that, right?" Lorelai assured her daughter.

"It's not that I don't feel welcomed, I just...Isn't it kind of lame to live with your mum and her boyfriend when you're 25?" Rory asked.

Lorelai didn't have a good answer to that. They were in the driveway now and Lorelai stopped the car. Rory jumped out of the car and waited for her mother to follow her. Lorelai was about to retrieve her keys and her cell phone and get out of the car when she realized something.

"Oh, man!" she said and knocked herself in the forehead.

"What is it?" Rory came around the car. Lorelai rolled down the window.

"I left my cell in Hartford. Remember, I had to charge it?" she said before she sighed deeply. "I have to go back and get it."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Rory only just managed to get the words out before she had to yawn. Lorelai shook her head.

"Na-ah, it's OK. You go inside and get some thinking done. I know there's a lot on your mind these days." Lorelai smiled sympathetically at her daughter. "When Luke comes home, tell him I'll be back real soon."

Rory nodded as Lorelai rolled the window back up and backed out of the driveway.

At the same time in Hartford, Emily was putting her youngest child to bed. Suzannah was grumpy- she had realized several days ago that her favourite teddy bear hadn't come home when it was supposed to. This night was particularly bad. No Lumpy, no dad, and she wasn't half as tired as her mother.

"I don't want to go to bed!" she screamed as Emily helped her to put her nightgown on.

"Please Suzannah, can't you be good today? Mummy's tired..." Emily begged as she lifted her daughter into bed.

"I want my Lumpy!" the girl continued in the same squeaky voice. "If I can't have Lumpy, then I don't want to sleep!"

"Suzannah, that's enough!" Emily lowered her voice and sounded very strict. She tucked her daughter in in a firm and determined way, before she went over to the door and turned the lights off. Suzannah wasn't ready to give in yet, she sat right back up.

"I don't want to sleep!" she repeated, defiantly, before she kicked away her quilt and was about to climb back out of bed. This time, Emily had had it.

"Suzannah Emily Gilmore! Get back to bed right now!" she yelled as she went over to her daughter and lifted her back into bed. "I don't want to hear another word from you tonight!" As Emily turned to leave the room, Suzannah did something she wouldn't ever know the consequences of, at least not that night.

"I hate you!" she exclaimed before she turned towards the wall.

As Emily realized what her daughter had just said, something inside of her was destroyed, it felt as if someone had pulled her heart out of and packed her spine in ice cubes. But except for a small, hardly visible jerk that went through her body, it was impossible to tell that she was feeling any different than she usually would. She kept her mask on until she had left the room, walked down the stairs and sat down in the livingroom. Then, and not a moment sooner, she allowed the tears to run freely.

She looked up at the picture above the fireplace. Richard and Lorelai and she herself looked back down at her. All of Suzannah's life Emily had turned away when her look swept past this picture. It reminded her of what kind of a family she did not want to have ever again. She had promised herself that Suzannah would never have to feel distant from her parents the way Lorelai seemed to have. The girl between her parents seemed so misplaced, her eyes were begging to be anywhere, but where she was. Emily was unsure who to blame for the fact that things had turned out the way they did between her and Lorelai. She wasn't sure when it had all started, but one incident appeared to her as a milestone. It was the first time anyone had ever said those three perilous words to her. "I hate you". The first time, and it was her own daughter who had said them.

The three people in the picture seemed to be looking down on her with contempt, it was if they wanted to say "Well, look at that. You managed to screw things up again..."

Emily was relieved when she heard someone coming through the front door, anything that could get her out of this track of thoughts was gratefully welcomed.

Two seconds later Lorelai came into the room. Emily quickly blinked her eyes a couple of times, and hoped it wasn't too obvious that she had cried.

"Mum! You're still up, good! I think I forgot my..."Lorelai interrupted herself. "Is there something wrong? You don't look too good..." she said as she went closer to the couch. Emily cleared her throat.

"Lorelai, would you mind sitting down for a minute? I...want to talk to you about something." Lorelai was caught by surprise, but after thinking about it for a short second she nodded and flung herself down into one of the armchairs.

"OK, what is it?" she asked, slightly nervous. "I'm not becoming a big sister again, am I?"

Emily simply shook her head, and took a deep breath before she answered.

"I'm losing Suzannah. Just like I lost you," she said, while staring down on the floor. Lorelai didn't understand.

"What? You're not losing her. That's nonsense," she began, but her mother interrupted her.

"Tonight, after you left, your sister told me that she hates me. I've been through this before, Lorelai. That's how it begins." Emily's voice was quiet, but shivering. Lorelai sighed.

"That's all? That's what this is about? Come on, Mum, she's four! She's probably just going through a phase or something, testing her limits. Every kid says stuff like that when they're four."

"Did Rory ever say that?" Emily tried to get eye-contact with her daugther, but Lorelai avoided her. "Lorelai, look me into the eyes and tell me that your daughter did this to you!" Lorelai was unsure what to answer.

"I'm not sure if she used that exact word, but trust me, there was plenty of times when I wasn't her favourite person," she said and tried to sound convincing.

"If she had told you that she hated you, you would have rememberd. You never forget anything like that!" Emily got up and walked a few steps away. She was desperately blinking to stop the tears from coming. "Why couldn't you and I be as close as you and Rory? Why is it that I can't seem to have a good relationship to either of my daughters?" she asked. She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible, but it wasn't esay.

"Please, Mum, we've had that discussion a thousand times before!" Lorelai said in a dejective voice. She understood that Emily wanted her to say that she was doing better at motherhood this time, but she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to say that.It just didn't seem fair."Me and you, and me and Rory, those are two totally different stories. The reason why me and Rory are so close, is because we understand each other." The arguement was becoming more heated.

"Well, why couldn't I understand you?" Emily turned back to her. What she really wanted Lorelai to say was something like "You're doing a great job with Suzy, just keep it up that way." But Lorelai didn't say anything of the sort, she just kept becoming more and more upset.

"Like I said, we've been over this! I thought you were to controlling, you do not agree with that, you think I was impossible, and I do not agree with that! Do we have to waste more energy on this!"

This time, Emily didn't respond. Lorelai felt a wave of anger bubbling inside of her, and she knew this was the time to get it out.

"And don't say that you're going to lose Suzy! She's not me! She's totally different, she's...she's what you always wanted me to be!" Lorelai couldn't help the bitter tone in her voice. Emily didn't notice it.

"She told me she hates me!" Emily answered, but only got Lorelai's angry sigh in response.

"She doesn't hate you, Mum, can't you get that into your head? She loves you! You heard her earlier, she wants to stay here with you forever! Every time you're gone, she misses you, she even cries about it. I had to rock her to sleep every single night when you were away, she kept asking me where Mummy was..." Lorelai's voice was calmer, but still blistering. Emily was about to say something, but Lorelai interrupted her.

"And don't you say that it was because she "lost" her teddy bear! You know that wasn't half as important."

Emily sat back down on the couch and rested her head in her hands for a short while before she looked back up at her daughter.

"You sound like you're jealous," she said. She had meant to sound somewhat scornful, but she knew deep down that Lorelai might have good reasons for being envious. Lorelai looked away.

"Not exactly. I mean...of course I wish I had...what she has...you know...with you and dad and...everything." She looked back at Emily before she continued. "But don't get me wrong. I love Suzy, I want nothing but the best for her..." she sat back down in the chair. "I just...I wish it was me."

Emily wasn't quite sure what to answer. They sat there quietly for a few seconds. Lorelai felt the atmosphere strangling her slowly, she just wanted to leave as soon as possible, and was about to get up and do so when her mother opened her mouth.

"So...what should I do, then? You say you want what's best for your sister, tell me how I can prevent her from...slipping away," she said, in an indefinable low voice. Lorelai got up before she answered. She was unsure how to best make her mother understand what direction she would have to avoid. Then she thought of an example that she hoped would help Emily understand what she meant.

"To put it this way, Mum: It starts with getting rid of Lumpy...and it ends with getting rid of Luke." As left the room, Emily called after her. "That was four years ago! How many times are you going to hold that against me!" she yelled. The only answer she got was the slam of the door.

Emily looked back up at the picture on the wall. The faces seemed more judging than ever. She couldn't stand it anymore. She turned her back to the picture and hurried upstairs.

To be continued.

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