Zhongli: Handsome-Funeral-Man, a genshin impact fanfic

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Zhongli always thought of Beidou as exceptional – a brilliant example of the beauty and strength that could be found within Liyue.

Dozens of times he had fantasized her sprawled within the bed sheets of his humble human home, skin bare and lips with that teasing smile he'd occasionally spy on her face when watching from afar.

So he found himself rather hopeful when she approached him during the lantern rite festival.

"I've seen you looking at me, handsome-funeral-man," the stunning beauty noted with a sly grin. Zhongli caught the scent of spices and dry wine when the attractive female moved toward to boldly set a hand onto his chest. He found himself unable to silently criticize her for clearly having overindulged during the festival … as it apparently sparked a sense of lust from the gorgeous sailor that he may benefit from.

"I … do look at people, on occasion," the Geo archon admitted humorlessly. He was aware he had a certain awkwardness when interacting with humans … but he had never been able to shed himself of the quirk. In fact, the god didn't move at all when she touched him … concerned he may do something that would dampen her apparent interest in him.

Amusement emerged on Beidou's pretty face. That right hand slid a few inches across his chest, sensing the muscle underneath his clothes. Her opposite hand boldly reached to tauntingly stoke the odd man's thigh, and then she announced: "You're a fine catch! I'm … going to have to tie you up, I've decided."

Zhongli felt himself stiffen when the female's hand came close to his prick, but her words confused him.

"A … fine catch? You must be in error. I could not fathom why a bounty would be placed on me … I have committed no crime, intend no harm to anyone. Surely you'd earn no mora for apprehending me ... Restraints, therefore, would be unnecessary."

A boozy laugh escaped those pale pink lips, left hand venturing from his thigh to the mounting erection hidden within his pants.

"Keep up with the strange jokes and I'm going to have to gag you, as well," she promised.

" … I … would not agree to that. I'm sure you're aware both parties must together decide upon an acceptable arrangement prior to initiating a contract -" Zhongli's words went silent when Beidou lifted a finger and pressed it against his mouth.

"Quiet, odd-but-handsome-funeral-man," she advised with a playful tone, before she lifted her head to connect their lips.

The geo archon now moved. His hands moved to grip those shapely hips as his tongue slid into the temptress' mouth. He breathed a sigh when she pressed her chest up against his body and lightly nipped his tongue.

After a few minutes of kissing and groping, Beidou whispered in his ear: "Your place. Now."

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Despite having sex thousands of times, Zhongli had never participated in sexual exchanges involving restraints. He never thought to do it himself, and none of the partners he had entertained ever recommended it.

But now Beidou stood before him, insisting upon it. And she was wearing nothing but her thigh-high boots, so he felt strongly compelled to do whatever she asked. What a beautiful creature she was: pert and ample breasts with large pink nipples, pale skin, a sinful curvaceousness to her hips and rump. Then there was the tempting sight of her exposed womanhood – surrounded by well-trimmed hair.

Zhongli had gotten quite hard just looking at her; so he decided yes, she can have whatever she wanted.

"You can … tie my wrists," he had told her.

"I tie a perfect knot – so don't bother trying to pull free, handsome. Do as I tell you, and you'll be rewarded."

After tying the knot, binding his wrists behind his back, she told him to kneel on the ground.

So he knelt – naked and lustful.

And then, after lifting her knee to set a foot up on a wooden chair, she told him to kiss her boot at the heel.

So he did. He obediently leaned forward and planted a light kiss on black leather.

"Treat it like it's my skin," she instructed.

Zhongli slid a tongue out – giving the boot a quick lick before kissing it again.

"Very nice," she complimented – voice a little breathless as she watched him. There was something so, so satisfying about controlling a clearly strong, very attractive man … particularly one equipped with a generously-sized erection. That will be fun to use ... after she toyed with him a little, of course.

"You can move a few inches higher … " she advised.

At her shin, the Archon placed another kiss on leather. He even nuzzled into it ... treating it like skin, just as he was instructed to.

"You're so good to me," she purred, "you can go higher."

Through the leather, Beidou felt lips press firmly against her bent knee.

"Go left … but not too far."

Zhongli dared to move beyond the leather of her tall boot … now flicking his tongue against the flesh of her pale thigh, before applying a gentle bite.

"Naughty," she scolded playfully before telling him: "further left, not too far."

At her inner thigh now, the Archon opened his mouth wide to provide a suction to her skin. He heard a pleased sigh escape her.

"You're doing so well," she acknowledged huskily – her own anticipation creating a delicious warmth within her pussy, "go on, sugar. Take care of me."

Zhongli moved his face just before her clit – took a moment to look at it and take in her womanly scent. But then he pulled back and gazed up to her.

"It would be a … superior experience for you, if I could use my hands," he advised.

A short laugh escaped the beautiful sailor. She pat Zhongli on the head.

"No hands – do your best."

"Mm," was the Archon's only response.

Beidou took in a deep breath when she felt the attractive man's moist tongue move against her clit. Very gently licking her, sliding his tongue in a circle around that little nub, then licking directly along it several times. Her pussy twitched, and she felt the willpower to continue toying with the man waver - how much longer could she hold off riding that thick cock of his? Likely not long at all, she decided, as she felt the man suck on her clit so, so lightly.

A tremor ran through her body as she sighed. The man may not have much experience with kinkier styles of sex … but he clearly knew how to treat a woman's clit. So good with his mouth.

"Enough," she stated, reaching out to grip her partner's brown hair, "you can have your first reward; sit on the chair – the very edge of it, and keep your legs spread."

Once more, Zhongli did as he was told. And his dick throbbed at the sight of the gorgeous, almost completely naked female getting on her knees directly before him.

"So this is what you were hiding underneath your fine clothes … " she murmured with a sexy smile, running a finger along the side of that proud shaft. Long and with notable girth … visible veins, a pronounced bulbous tip – destined to stretch out any hole encountered.

The Geo Archon had been about to say, "people seem to like it well enough" … but then the stunning brunette's tongue was sliding against it, and words were lost.

Beidou was purposeful – tracing her tongue along one of the veins she found, teasing the edges of his prick tip, occasionally placing a moist kiss across the heated skin. Then she moved to wrap her lips around the large tip and without delay took in about four inches of prick.

"Ah," Zhongli breathed, instinctively pulling at the rope binds that held his wrists together.

Beidou's warm, wet mouth moved up and down that cockflesh several times … purposely coating it with as much saliva as she could, before pulling her lips from him.

The Geo Archon's disappointment, as he watched Beidou, was only temporary … because within moments she adjusted her position, grabbed at her own breasts and placed that dick directly between them.

It was an enchanting sight for Zhongli … those exquisite breasts wrapped around his rockhard tool. Almost large enough to completely surround his considerable shaft - if he could assist her by tugging at her nipples, those breasts could likely encase him fully …

But his hands were tied.

Beidou, with a teasing smile, began to slide her boobs across that saliva-slicked shaft. Up and down. Her titflesh was soft, pliable. And then her mouth returned to him – at first just her tongue on his dickhead, but a moment later she took a couple inches into her mouth as she continued to shift her breasts along his tool.

The Archon sucked in a deep breath of air. What a tantalizing combination … the beauty's wet mouth on his tip, the skin of her breasts caressing the shaft. After a couple minutes of this exemplary stimulation, Zhongli felt himself on the cusp of an orgasm. He would have loved to cum inside that pretty mouth … but then the wicked sailor pulled both her mouth and her breasts away from his body.

Immediate frustration emerged on Zhongli's face, which summoned a teasing laugh from the female.

"I .. was close," the attractive man commented, confused, "why would – "

"- You'll cum when I say you can," Beidou advised, tapping that prick playfully before rising to her feet.

Zhongli, with that rockhard and insistent erection, decided he did not like these games.

"We … had an agreement. You told me that was my reward. Incomplete pleasure is not – "

"-you'll cum when I say you can," Beidou repeated with a smug smile, moving to sit in the man's lap … letting her thighs or the leather of her boots occasionally brush against Zhongli's pulsing shaft.

The Archon looked directly at the naughty fox in his lap before saying: "complete pleasure was warranted, in that scenario."

"Your opinion has been taken under advisement," she responded playfully, wrapping an arm around the man's muscular shoulders and running some fingers through his hair.

" … As you clearly have no interest in being fair, I will take this opportunity to inform you that it would be little effort to free my wrists of your rope."

A haughty huff escaped the female. With a smug smile, she stated: "it's the perfect knot. You couldn't possibly – "

Before the sentence was finished, she saw the man's muscles flex slightly and heard a snap from behind his back …

" … what in Liyue," she breathed, single eye widening, "did you seriously just – "

The Archon wasted no time grabbing the seductive female in his lap. Then he lifted her, in a bridal fashion, and carried her to the nearby bed.

"I wish to claim you now," Zhongli advised, tossing her onto the sheets.

The sailor sat upward in the bed, brushing some tendrils of hair out of her face, and took a few moments to regain her composure – she was still processing the fact that the man used sheer strength to break through the bindings she attached to his wrists. That one eye examined the man who remained standing beside the bed. He was certainly muscular … but not exactly a human monstrosity that would be capable of effortlessly pulling apart knotted rope.

Her inquisitive look slowly morphed into a flirty grin.

"Well, handsome, between that ridiculous strength of yours and the nice-sized prick you have … you got me curious," she admitted, leaning back into the sheets and arching her body slightly … causing a sensuous shift of her breasts, "come claim me."

" … You're as beautiful as you are frustrating," Zhongli advised as he moved to climb on top of that voluptuous body. His erection pressed into her thigh as he leaned to plant a few nips and kisses to the right nipple.

A pleased sigh escaped Beidou – she gripped onto the man's strong shoulders when he started sucking on her breast. A rough hand grip captured her opposite breast … alternating between pulling and squeezing at her flesh.

After a couple minutes of toying with those lovely breasts, Zhongli shifted so he could gaze at her face.

"I cannot bare children," he advised, "so I intend to release inside you."

A look of surprise, followed by a look of suspicion appeared on the female's face.

" … you better be certain of that," she responded with a tone. A tone that suggested there would be repercussions if those words were – for whatever reason - incorrect.

Undaunted, Zhongli adjusted positions to both line up his straining erection with that tempting pussy, and to place his mouth close to her ear.

"I will release inside you multiple times," he promised, an arm hooking underneath one of her legs, granting him a proper angle for entering her.

Beidou felt incredibly aroused by the enigmatic man. Yet, even though her cunt was already quite wet for him … he was large to the point that he had to shove, adjust and shove to get through the entrance of her pussy.

"Oh! … Good Morax, you're so damn thick," she growled out, trying to spread her legs even further for the hefty intruder. She was a little annoyed the man was large enough to make her gasp out like a virgin experiencing her first penetration.

Zhongli had stopped when about three inches of himself was inside that tight channel, allowing his beautiful partner a moment to adjust to his size, and also giving himself a moment to appreciate the wonderfully tight grip of her cunt. And he didn't bat an eye at hearing 'Morax' escape the sailor's lips – it wasn't the first time a woman inadvertently called out his true name during sex. Humans seemed to like calling out to their Archons during physical exchanges.

"Start moving," she insisted, then actually took a moment to shove at the man's chest, "and don't be gentle. My body will figure it out."

"Very well," he breathed lustfully. He moved to hook an arm under her second leg, using his hold of her legs to lift her lower body from the sheets as he got into a kneeling position. Then he jammed several inches of himself forward into that snug pussy – not his entire prick … but most of it.

Another moan escaped Beidou's lips as her tight tunnel tried to resist the fleshy intrusion. Her cunt was spasming around that cock, clenching onto it like her life depended on it. But the Archon kept moving, kept spearing her, kept ignoring the signs that her body was struggling … just as the bold woman asked him to.

It took a few minutes, but that initial discomfort – that burning sensation that came with significant stretching - started to pass as Beidou's pussy was forced to loosen for that meaty prick.

"There we … fucking go," she breathed, moving one of her hands across her chest to grip at her own left breast. She fondled herself, as the handsome man's cock continued to thrust inside her warm pussy.

A dozen minutes passed but the quick pace of their coupling never faltered. The attractive man moved with seemingly endless energy … fucking her like it was nothing. Like he was sipping tea, rather than holding a woman by her legs and stuffing his prick into her over and over. And her body was starting to feel hot, so hot … an intense pressure building within her that was causing her pussy to leak an absurd amount of erotic juices.

"On your back," she insisted suddenly, "I want to ride this damn prick of yours."

A handful of seconds and their positions were changed. And for a second she thought the new angle was a mistake – cause dicks always somehow felt even larger in this damn position – but after a few moments she was able to start shifting her hips with a delectable rhythm.

She smiled, almost laughed, at how fucking good that cock was starting to feel within her bloated pussy. Her eye was closed – the only sensation she wanted to experience at the moment was the feel of her partner's shaft spearing her. Her cunt throbbed wonderfully as she continued to service that fat piece of meat.

Zhongli, alternatively, couldn't stop watching the seductive beauty as she almost recklessly bounced on top of his tool. The way her breasts shifted, the sight of her tongue slipping out to lick her own lips, the happy expression on her face …

The lusty man felt a tightening in his testicles and breathed out a heavy sigh when he shot multiple spurts of cum inside that eager pussy. The sex-crazed sailor didn't even seem to notice – still riding his dickflesh like it was the only thing she wanted in life.

It pleased Zhongli greatly that she still had energy – he could maintain complete stiffness through several orgasms, after all.

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They were fucking like dogs now. Beidou's face was in the sheets, ass lifted high so her ridiculous partner could continue to batter her sore pussy. She was sweating, moaning as she continued to take that heavy dick into her body. She was dimly aware of a hand groping at her left breast … massaging it, sometimes squeezing it rather roughly.

Beidou was having trouble making sense of it all – the situation was just getting more and more absurd. The man had been fucking her relentlessly for over an hour. She had cum four times already. And he must have been cumming inside her intermittently. She wasn't sure how many times … but her hole was saturated by a combination of their fluids, it had been leaking onto her thighs, his pelvis … How did he stay perfectly fucking hard through multiple orgasms? How could he pour so much inside her that it literally seemed to be leaking everywhere?

Her cunt was never going to tighten back up after an experience like this … After tonight, she was convinced only larger men would be capable of giving her a proper fuck.

"This is … insane," she called out, shuddering. Her handsome partner's vigorous thrusting was causing a repetitive wet sound to fill the room. Her pussy felt so damn sloppy from all their fluids …just a gooey hole for an unusual man's insatiable prick.

Then the man paused, balls-deep in her exhausted cunt, and released a soft grunt.

Beidou chuckled incredulously when she realized even more fluid was being packed inside her. The man actually removed his pulsing erection from her body … and loads of cum was leaking out of her throbbing cunt.

Zhongli pulled away from her long enough to look at the effects multiple fucks had on the sailor's cunny. Her pussylips were reddened, glistening from copious fluids, hole stretched wide ...

"One more," the Archon decided, grabbing her body and pulling her into his lap. The sight of her ravaged pussy was encouragement to fuck her one final time.

"Are you kidding?!" Beidou exclaimed as the man shifted her so they were chest-to-chest. She stared at him, wide-eyed, breathing softly as she felt the tip of his erection press into her thigh. At a certain point she was going to pass out if he kept going ...

" … one more?" Zhongli asked, "I'll … be gentle."

"Last one," she insisted.

The archon's thick prick once more impaled that fantastic snatch of hers. They shared an embrace as the man slowly eased up and down within her trembling body … Zhongli relished the feel of her breasts pressing into his chest and her cheek resting against his shoulder as he languidly rocked within the cum-slicked folds of her sinful body. He inched in and out of her, over and over ... utterly enchanted by the gorgeous body that continued to squeeze him.

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At the end of it all, Zhongli stared at the woman resting in his bedsheets. He found himself sliding a lock of that silky brown hair away from her face. She was … a bit of a mess, at this point.

The Archon scolded himself for not showing a proper amount of restraint. He had pushed her too hard … though the sailor was in incredible shape, at the end of the day, she still had a human's body.

Sure, he had lusted for her for years, and the reality of possessing her exceeded all the fantasies he had … but, was it fair to take so much from a human?

"That was fucking incredible," Beidou called out suddenly, eye closed and wearing a dreamy smile.

"Oh," Zhongli responded, his anxieties melting away, "I agree."

"You put an absurd amount of your seed in me," she noted, "I better not get pregnant."

"You will not," he assured.

"So, who the hell are you?" she asked, shifting to look at him with a light smirk.

" … my name is Zhongli."

"Right, but who are you? Or is 'what are you' the more appropriate question?"

" … it is … as you said earlier," the archon responded, trying not to look as awkward as he felt, "I am simply a … handsome-funeral-man."

A quick laugh drifted from the sailor's mouth.

"Well, we can have more sex in the morning, handsome-funeral-man," Beidou advised, for now giving up on getting a real answer from the man, "for now I need to fucking rest."

"Excellent," Zhongli responded with a pleased smile, moving to lie within the sheets beside her.

Beidou fell asleep with her cheek on his shoulder and her hand on his chest.

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Author's note: First Genshin Impact porn fic! Hope you guys like it.

My other biggest porn fic, the Collector's Whore, has a really alpha male in it with a mostly submissive female … so I kinda wanted to try writing a more assertive female this time around. But even an assertive female can only do so much to a god. Maybe I should try writing Baal sometime!

Anyway! Would consider writing more if people are interested! I kinda want to do a Zhongli/Ninggaung or Zhongli/Chylde fic. Maybe a female with a pack of hurlichurls. We shall see!