"And we have once again returned to LC85 Galactic Studios. Currently, the preparations for the comedic blockbuster, "Sailor H", are continuing as an unexpected delay has occurred, setting the schedule behind. But a setback such as that won't keep LuClipse85 from delivering her work! Her comedic genius is beyond compare and can overcome any obsta-"
BONK!
"ITAI! Alright! Who threw that! Who in Neptuonia threw that!" Letonia hollered from atop one of the palm trees outside the studio reading her script when a rock suddenly hit the back of her head.
"It would help if you looked down and not side to side, Letonia."
She looked down at her assailant, a vein bulging on her head as she growled, "You again, Sesshomaru! Don't you have someone else to pick on, like that wannabe Kermit the Frog!"
"You are as shameless as LuClipse85." The demon lord sneered. "Why do you waste your life trying to promote that unworthy author? Oh I forgot. You're advertising; an airhead liar is required for the job."
Just then Letonia hurled a blue fireball at Sesshomaru, who gracefully evaded it. He glared up at the Neptuonian, who held more in the palm of her hands.
"There's plenty more where that came from, pretty boy!" She hollered in rage and showered him with her fiery fury. Sesshomaru evaded them with ease and engaged in a battle with Letonia.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Inside the studio, everyone gathered around the set of "Sailor H" for their first day of shooting, everyone except Kagome complaining about their roles. Koga was still lamenting that he got stuck as a lame superhero (and a guy with bad fashion sense) in a cape. Ginta and Hakkaku kept trying to encourage him while Inuyasha tried to get over seeing himself in a red mini skirt. His body was way too masculine for that sailor suit.
Akari stepped up and got their attention, "Okay, people listen up! We're gonna have to wait a short while before we can get started, LuClipse85 came down with Writer's Block early last night and so the schedule's set back."
The InuYasha cast cheered happily, "FREEDOM!"
Akari smiled, "Aww, how about that? You're all happy that she got over her creative block!"
They froze upon hearing that then groaned and complained more, confusing Akari. "Hey, I thought you guys were happy she got a creative block!"
"Don't be so damn naïve, woman! We're mourning 'cuz she got over it!" Inuyasha hollered.
Akari teardropped when she saw the studio door open and saw Letonia stagger inside, leaning against the door frame, bruised, bloody and panting. She looked to her side at something outside, then smiled cockily, "Yeah, that's right! You better get to steppin', Sesshomaru! Don't make me go Hitokiri Battousai on yo' ass again!"
Letonia froze as a small rock hit her forehead and bounced off as she turned to enter the studio. Her eyes rolled up and she fell over, crashing face first onto the floor.
"If ya ask me, based on the looks of it, it was the other way around." Hakkaku said.
Akari and Kashiya rushed to Letonia's side, helping her up.
"Damn, woman. Sesshomaru to' yo' ass up!" Kashiya stated, amazed that ANYONE could beat her up that easily.
Letonia contradicted her, "Fluffy didn't tear my ass up, Kashiya…..he just kicked it merci-lilly-ly!"
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Sesshomaru walked to LuClipse85's lavish trailer in the trailer park behind the studio. Letonia had only given him a scratch and two minor burns; he had beaten the living crap outta her almost! As he approached her door, Sesshomaru stopped and listened as he heard a noise from inside.
"Hahaha! Poor Ryoga! How can Ranma be so cruel? Man, that Kodachi is such a cheater!"
Sesshomaru teardropped and frowned as he let himself inside the fan-author's trailer. He found LuClipse85 leaning back in her chair, her legs propped on her desk and laughing and talking to herself while reading Ranma ½ volume 2. Hearing her door close, she leaned back and looked at Sesshomaru upside down, smiling brightly. "Yo."
Sesshomaru's stoic but irritated expression remained the same. "Tell me LuClipse85, is deliberate procrastination truly a religion with you?"
"I dunno. Is the deliberate use of Herbal Essences© as an aphrodisiac a religion with you?"
He cleared his throat. "Don't convict me of false accusations, LuClipse85. I use it for the sole purpose of making my hair soft and silky."
That and something else. LuClipse85 thought while giving the demon lord a look of disbelief, knowing he was lying.
"Anyway, all foolishness aside, I want another role."
"Sorry, all sales final." The fan-author spoke metaphorically returning to her normal position and continued her reading.
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes in agitation. He unsheathed Toukijin and held it threateningly at LuClipse85's back. She didn't moved but could tell what was going on.
"I'd advise against that, Sesshomaru; you'll be cursed if you attack me." She responded from her manga.
"What could someone like you possibly do to me, Sesshomaru?" He hissed arrogantly.
LuClipse85 rolled her eyes up, completely unphased by his threat. Sesshomaru took a step forward when a beeping sound sounded. LuClipse85 took out her large Sailor Moon umbrella and held it over herself, all the while still reading her manga, as the sprinkler system went off and soaked Sesshomaru with freezing water. She lowered her umbrella when the water stopped and she heard Toukijin fall to the floor, then finally turned around.
Sesshomaru's clothes lay in a pile on the carpet and from them, emerged a little white puppy with red eyes and a very confused look.
"What in the world…!" He exclaimed.
LuClipse85 bent down before him, smiling at his cuteness. "Like my special sprinkler system, Sesshomaru? Thought-controlled with imported water! All the way from China!"
Sesshomaru glared up at her in suspicion. "Where in China?"
"Jusenkyo, from the spring of drowned demon puppy lord."
He groaned, "LuClipse85, all I request is that I get a different role. But not that homosexual, Malachite!"
"What'd you and Inuyasha have against him, anyway?" She muttered, teardropping. "Sesshomaru, I already told you the casting is done and final!" Her smile broadened. "And besides, if I changed your role, it'd agitate my reviewer's anticipation. They're really looking forward to seeing you in your ground-breaking role…..or side-splitting at least."
"You only got nine reviewers, you depraved woman!" Sesshomaru growled.
"True, but they're dying to know to know who you're going to be playing since I haven't told anyone yet. Besides, you look good in the get-up! Now leave me to my work, I'm in search of inspiration!"
LuClipse85 went back to her desk to finish the Ranma ½ manga. Curiously, she looked behind her and found Sesshomaru still sitting in his pile of clothes, glaring at her with snarl.
She took a guess he was waiting for something. "You'll get the hot water when I finish this, now leave!"
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I curse the man and woman who spawned you, LuClipse85!"
Figuring he was speaking ill of her parents, particularly her mama, she opened the door, positioned Sesshomaru to stand in front of it, drew her foot back and launched it into his butt, sending him flying outside and calmly closed the door returning to her "work".
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Several hours later, LuClipse85 stepped outside and greeted the bright sunlight with a stretch, ready to get her production underway.
"Finally, the black Amaterasu emerges from her cave." Sesshomaru stated with bitter sarcasm.
LuClipse85 froze in her stretching position and looked down on her right, finding Sesshomaru sitting by her door. "How long have you been there?"
He glared at her demeaningly. "Surely, you're not foolish to think I'd wait in that studio in this form."
LuClipse85 smiled and picked him, holding him affectionately and carried him in the studio. Everyone groaned upon seeing her, knowing that the torture would begin, then they saw the demon puppy in her arms. Inuyasha looked at Sesshomaru closely and recognized him, then commenced to poking fun at him. Needless to say there was an immediate quarrel, which LuClipse85 quickly broke up; she went about restoring Sesshomaru as promised.
Her assistants hit him with scalding hot water and Sesshomaru transformed into his oversized dog demon form. Ginta and Hakkaku screamed like little girls while LuClipse85 just looked up at him like that type of thing was perfectly normal.
"That's ironic." She said, unphased.
Before Sesshomaru could go for Inuyasha, Kashiya hosed him down with regular hot water and he changed to normal form.
Normal and naked!
Jaken immediately covered Rin's eyes and the demon lord just stood there, water dripping and formed a puddle around his feet.
"Sesshomaru's just standing there butt-nekkid!" Pretty soon she started checking him out. "Damn, he DOES have a nice ass!"
Suddenly, a rumbling noise was heard as Akari's words seemed to echo throughout the studio.
"What the hell is that!" LuClipse85 exclaimed.
Sesshomaru glanced up to the side, listening to the sound. He then heard the faint sound of screaming.
"Fangirls."
Koga and Inuyasha looked outside the door and sure enough, a massive herd of excited screaming fangirls appeared in the distant running like hell toward the studio!
All the noises and commotion seemed to upset Rin, causing her to worry. "Master Jaken, what's going on?" She implored, unable to see anything.
"This isn't for you to see, Rin! You're too young to witness Lord Sesshomaru's……glory." He stated while gawking in awe at naked Sesshomaru, who stood dignified like a god in the studio.
"Lord Sesshomaru! Are you fine, my lord?" Rin cried out in concern.
"Oh yes, he is!" Akari and Kashiya exclaimed, gawking with smiles at his perfect body.
"Halt." Sesshomaru declared, turning to the studio door.
Immediately and obediently, the excited fangirls heard him and did as he commanded, falling over each other as those in the back collided with those in the front. They all fell to their knees as a representative spoke for them all.
"Oh please, Lord Sesshomaru! Allow us admiration of your beautiful body! We'll gladly accept your poison claws if we may be granted our wish! PLEASE!"
LuClipse85 wondered how Sesshomaru could just stand there in the middle of her studio naked, and calm, like he didn't mind.
"Hey take a hike, ya buncha horny women! You're holding us up!" Inuyasha hollered to the fangirl herd.
"Shut up, half-breed! You're not the boss of us!" The representative hollered.
"Begone." Sesshomaru commanded before Inuyasha could draw the Tetsusaiga for being called 'half-breed'.
In despair, but obediently, the herd departed as quickly as they had arrived. As always, everyone was amazed by his popularity.
"How is it you got that much power over a bunch of women, Sesshomaru?" Koga asked in amazement.
Sesshomaru wasn't at all phased by his co-workers' reactions. "I'm Lord Sesshomaru, recognize." He answered coolly.
Inuyasha keh-ed, calling his brother 'kisama' under his breath. LuClipse85 snapped out of her daze and ordered Akari to get Sesshomaru a yukata or a daishiki, anything that would cover him. She was too busy gawking at his glorious physique to hear her boss.
"AKARI!" LuClipse85 screamed through her megaphone, nearly giving Akari a heart attack.
"What!" She asked, bewildered.
LuClipse85 repeated herself, "Go get Sesshomaru a towel or something, will you?"
"Do I have to, boss-lady?" Akari whined.
The fan-author teardropped and nearly fell over in her director's chair. "Do you wanna stare at Sesshomaru's butt-nekkid self all day!" She hollered, restraining herself from saying 'bare-ass' in front of Rin.
Akari stared at LuClipse85 blankly; the author's teardrop grew larger.
"Hel-looo?"
"Seeing as I have yet to move from this spot, the answer's obviously a 'yes'." A broad grin stretched to her ears.
"MOVE IT!" LuClipse85 shrieked through her megaphone, sending Akari flying.
She landed and went about her task, pouting and grumbling. Kagome and Sango turned their eyes away, trying extremely hard to fight the temptation to glance at Sesshomaru's naked body. Koga and Inuyasha tried their best not to feel intimidated, lest they give the impression that they were insecure about themselves. They saw Kagome glance and blush a brighter shade of red, then yelled for Akari to hurry up with that dashiki, preferring her to bring a burga.
LuClipse85 sighed in disappointment, "I wish that was Miroku instead. Then I could finally see what's under those robes!"
Koga stared in fright at her perverted visage as she chuckled. "Woman, you got more issues than Ranma ½."
Akari had fetched Sesshomaru's yukata, but stayed hidden so she could gaze some more at his butt in peace.
"Stop imitating that unholy monk and bring my clothing, Akari." He said in a low firm tone, his back facing her.
Akari emerged from her hiding spot, trying to look dignified, saying she didn't do anything wrong and handed him the yukata. LuClipse85 cleared her throat upon being asked by Sango if she was ready. Everyone got into their places when Kirara mewed after looking around the set, getting her mistress's attention.
"What's the matter, Kirara?" Sango then looked around among the cast, doing a mental role call and realizing the problem. "Hey, the star's missing."
Letonia looked up from her clipboard, "Come to think of it, he was here this morning either."
"He was the smart one. We should've thought about ditching too." Inuyasha griped.
Miroku was upstairs in his elaborate dressing room, asleep. LuClipse85 had provided him with THE best accommodations in an attempt, among many, to try and woo him. He had stayed up late the previous night playing Street Fighter, mainly watching Chun-Li do her Spinning Bird Kick move and watching her lower anatomy, imaging it was Sango doing that. After he finished, Miroku spent several hours fantasizing about her more until he fell asleep.
(Doing what will not be mentioned as the "PG-13" or "T" rating must be remembered.)
He smiled in his sleep, having a wonderful dream about Sango wearing a pale sheer nightgown for him. She was just about to slip out of it, when his eyes fluttered open, hearing a very remote noise from downstairs. Miroku groaned in a whining way, wishing he could have woken up after she had undressed. He sat in his bed, stretching his arms and yawning. He paused in his stretching position, hearing everyone talking downstairs but mainly hearing Inuyasha's bellowing for him to hurry and get downstairs.
"Why's he hurrying me, we don't start for another couple of hours." Miroku mumbled sleepily, glancing at his alarm clock.
Noticing something as he turned away, he did a double take, lifting the clock close to his face.
He had overslept an hour!
Miroku hollered, "What…! Why didn't this thing go off!" He looked at the alarm settings and found he had forgotten to set it last night.
He stared blankly into space, realizing the reason behind it. Shaking his head and putting it behind him, Miroku ran into the bathroom, hurrying to get himself ready. "Why didn't anyone wake me up anyway!" He griped while brushing his teeth.
Downstairs, everyone waited for Miroku.
"What the hell is that Miroku doing! I wanna hurry up and get this over with already!" Inuyasha griped impatiently, sitting in his dog position on the floor against a wall.
Koga, on the other hand, wasn't as anxious as Inuyasha. The sooner the hot monk got downstairs, the sooner he would see Inuyasha as Sailor Mars; he told Miroku to take all the time in the world if he needed to.
Grandpa Higurashi sat by the refreshment stand, sipping green tea and pigging out on the donuts. There were plenty of sweets on the table as LuClipse85 had quite a sweet tooth. Everyone could have as much as they liked, however, the cakes were off limits as that was her favorite food in the world. No one dared to touch them without LuClipse85's permission, except Inuyasha, dense as he was. Inuyasha had actually taken a slice, his definition of the word being a quarter of the cake, and LuClipse85 leapt from her director's cake and jumped him, beating him up and confiscating the cake.
"I warned the idiot." Letonia said to herself, glancing up toward the ceiling away from Inuyasha. "LC-sama will go medieval on anyone who tries to take her cake."
Inuyasha's ears twitched, hearing Letonia's comments. "Shut-up, Letonia! How was I supposed to know that woman would jump me for a cake!"
"Are ya hard of hearing? She just said she warned you." Ginta spoke under his breath while eating his Tokyo party mix.
"Like you gotta ask." Hakkaku whispered, stuffing a jelly donut in his mouth. "Inuyasha's slower than a dial-up connection."
"What're you idiots jabberin' about over there!" Inuyasha roared rising to his feet, his hand on the handle of Tetsusaiga in a fighting stance.
He startled the two wolves, causing them to choke on their food. Koga teardropped as he watched his comrades practically plead for their lives as the hanyou snarled threateningly at them, wondering why they were such chickens with Inuyasha.
Inuyasha didn't calm down until his face crashed into the ground several seconds later. Twitching in pain, he lifted his face from the hole in the ground and glared up at Kagome, who looked away like nothing happened.
"What the hell did I do this time, Kagome?" Inuyasha strained in a low tone, asking why she told him to sit.
"Leave Ginta and Hakkaku alone! They didn't say anything worth getting into a fight over!" She reprimanded.
Inuyasha hollered and pointed to Hakkaku, "He said I was slower than a dial-up connection! THAT'S something worth fighting over!"
LuClipse85 snickered, catching the angry hanyou's attention. "How the hell is that funny, woman!"
"You must be pretty damn slow for Hakkaku to say that!" She snickered.
Inuyasha then lashed out at her verbally, while Sesshomaru smirked, complimenting the wolf for his remark.
"Where the hell is that damned monk!" Inuyasha screamed, impatiently.
Just then, Miroku hurried down the stairs and onto the set, panting. "Sorry, I'm late everyone, I had overslept." He apologized.
Everyone stared wide-eyed at him, then burst out laughing. Everyone except Sesshomaru, who stared at him, eyes narrowed in embarrassment. Rin giggled.
"What? What's so funny?" Miroku asked, looking around for answers.
Sango leaned against a wall, giggling and blushing. "Miroku, were you in that much of a hurry to get down here that you forgot your uniform?"
"As well as clothes in general?" Koga added before grabbing his sides and laughing louder.
Miroku felt a sudden breeze and then looked down. He was in such a hurry not to be later than he already was that he'd forgotten to get dressed! He stood in the studio in his dark purple cotton pajamas with gold lettering, "Love Machine, Will Work Only For You" (referring to Sango) written in Japanese all over them, as well as no shirt or shoes.
Miroku laughed with everyone else, finding the situation funny.
Sesshomaru sneered, finding it shameful. "Really monk, you could have at least made an effort to properly dress yourself."
"Hey, at least he's wearing pants!" Inuyasha pointed out, still laughing.
"Much to my disappointment." LuClipse85 said, dreamily staring at Miroku, beginning to fantasize about him again.
He noticed Sesshomaru in a white yukata and asked about it. Akari filled him in, saying his clothes were in the dryer; he had a little mishap with the sprinkler system. Kashiya yelled for someone to get Miroku his uniform when LuClipse85 snapped out of her daydream and protested against it.
"Leave 'im alone! The man went through all that trouble to get down here! Let him prance around like that if he wants!"
"Hmph! Such a hypocritical woman!" Grandpa Higurashi scoffed, sipping his tea and cutting his eyes at LuClipse85. "She had the demon lord clothed but she wants the monk to walk around half-naked!"
She narrowed her eyes threateningly. "Quiet, old man! Miroku's wearin' clothes, whereas Sesshomaru wasn't, so it's better that way!" LuClipse85 smiled broadly, her eyes looking up at the ceiling. "Besides, I like being teased!"
She received stared from all around as she chuckled to herself. Inuyasha pretended he didn't hear that while her assistants seemed shocked, knowing that was a little out of character to their knowledge.
"I told you guys that monk was rubbin' off on her." Kashiya muttered to Letonia and Akari.
While LuClipse85 continued to giggle to herself, fantasizing about his body, Miroku cut his eyes at her slyly, conceiving an idea.
LuClipse85 thinks I'm quite hot already. Perhaps if I turn up the heat, I could literally make her melt and she'll be unable to finish this parody.
Sango saw that sly grin on Miroku's face and narrowed her eyes in suspicion, wondering what was going on in that dirty little mind of his.
Forgive me for this Sango. "Now now, Kashiya, you shouldn't criticize LuClipse85-san. It's actually quite an honor to have a beautiful author compliment such a humble monk."
Miroku flashed a bright smile at LuClipse85. She brought her eyes down from ceiling to Miroku, the sparkle catching her attention. Her face went blank as she saw her beloved monk standing before her in his purple and gold pajama pants with that gentle visage and sexy smile that she loved, bare-chested and barefoot.
Everyone else stared as well, in curiosity, wondering what the monk was up to. They all were aware of Miroku's lecherous antics, but his approach was quite different.
Kagome glanced expectantly at Sango, then drew back slightly at what she saw. Sango bit on her kimono sleeve, growling jealously like a tigress. Koga took one look at her glare and took several steps away from her, his instincts telling him things would get violent.
LuClipse85 sat up straight in her director's chair, watching Miroku walk up to her slowly, purring to her in his smooth, deep, velvety, sexy, gentle voice he KNEW she loved. The next thing the fan-author knew the handsome monk was just inches from her face, her chin in his hand titled upward so she was gazing into his beautiful sparkling indigo eyes.
Miroku's co-workers thought him shameless to speak to her like she was actually his lover, when it was clear she wasn't. Not that LuClipse85 cared anyway; she was so captivated by Miroku that she was barely aware that she was breathing.
Miroku ending his purring with a question to LuClipse85, his eyes gazing into hers and his seductive smile never leaving his face. Her metallic purple eyes never blinked once throughout the whole thing; her heart pounded fiercely against her chest. Miroku's plan had only worked partially; the fan-author's brain was practically melted but was also completely saturated with hormones, with only one thing on her mind.
"Rin, shield yourself." Sesshomaru spoke to the young girl, knowing what was next as he caught a whiff of LuClipse85's scent.
Rin did as she was told, never questioning her beloved Lord Sesshomaru. She closed her eyes and plugged her ears, humming merrily and swishing her legs while sitting on her stool until he said she could look.
"LuClipse85, why're you so silent? You are indeed a beautiful woman, there's no reason to be shy." Miroku purred, inching a little closer to her.
"ROCK MY WORLD, BABY!"
LuClipse85 leapt from her chair and onto Miroku, wrapping herself around him and latching her lips onto his, taking him with her to the floor and kissing him passionately! Miroku moved all about underneath her, mentally screaming for help as his plan backfired.
Grandpa Higurashi stared stunned, his jaw dropped and he almost spilled his tea over his lap. Koga, Ginta, Hakkaku and Jaken cracked up laughing at helpless Miroku. Sango's eyes flew open and practically turned red with rage. Kagome held he back as the demon slayer grabbed a knife from the table, preparing to run LuClipse85 through with it.
"Koga! Help me out here before Sango kills her!" Kagome yelled to Koga.
He did as his beloved bid him, detaining Sango. She thrashed fiercely, slamming the back of her head into Koga's to try and knock him out.
"Let me go, Koga! I'm gonna kill that woman!" She roared.
LuClipse85's assistants tried to calm their laughing enough to try to pull their boss off of Miroku while Inuyasha tried to pull him out of her strong bear-like grip.
"Good grief boss-lady, give the man some air!" Akari exclaimed, straining to pull her off of him.
After putting some extra force into their pulling, they managed to pull the fan-author away from Miroku. LuClipse85 smiled blissfully while Miroku gasped deeply for air, stunned by her sudden and unexpected actions.
"O-kay, that worked a little TOO well." Miroku uttered.
"You foolish lecher, the woman was waiting for you to do that." Sesshomaru scorned.
"Damn pervert, you KNOW that crazy-ass woman gets all starry-eyes just hearing your name! What made you think she WOULDN'T do something like that!" Inuyasha practically screamed, standing over Miroku who sat on the floor, regaining his strength.
"His lips are so soft….and so is the rest of him!" LuClipse85 exclaimed breathlessly before sighing blissfully, falling back onto Letonia and fainting, her smiling never leaving her face.
Ginta and Hakkaku fell onto the floor, grabbing their sides and practically laughing themselves to death, sounding more like hyenas than wolves. Grandpa Higurashi shook his head, "I weep for their generation."
Koga was struggling to stay conscious as he continued to restrain Sango. She had stopped head butting him as her head was beginning to hurt but she still tried to escape his grip. Kagome tried to calm her down, but the demon slayer was insistent on killing LuClipse85 for crossing the line.
"O-kay, we're gonna have to postpone the filming for today, people." Letonia said with a nervous smile after observing her unconscious boss.
"Why?" Kagome asked, being the only one who argued. "She just swooned. Just let her sleep it off and we can go on with fic."
The assistants disagreed. "Trust me, if we leave her here and she wakes up, LuClipse85 is gonna do a LOT more than just kiss Miroku."
The laughing stopped; Grandpa Higurashi looked up from his refilled tea cup, realizing what they were saying. "You mean the young fan-author is hot?"
"Hotter than a sidewalk in August." Kashiya confirmed.
She and the others carried LuClipse85 back to her trailer while the InuYasha cast hung around the studio around the refreshment table. Sesshomaru started to tell Rin she could unshield herself, but saw she had her ears plugged; she wouldn't have heard him. He removed her right hand from her ear and then told her.
"If I may ask, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin spoke politely, "What is wrong with LuClipse85? Are you concerned?"
"I've been concerned about her since the day I met her." Sesshomaru mocked, then answered Rin softly, "Nothing physically is wrong with her. She's in heat is all, Rin."
"Ohh, poor LuClipse85-san. She must be burning up." Rin said with pity.
Jaken scoffed, "You don't know the half of it."
(Ranma ½ ain't mine, and neither is InuYasha. Letonia, Akari, and Kashiya, however, ARE!)