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Chapter 4

Sarah Beth closes her eyes

and She dreams she's dancing

Around and around without any cares

And her very first love is holding her close

And the soft wind is blowing her hair

The weeks stretched by for Brooke as she was in the hospital as she grew weaker and weaker. The visits from her friends had started to slim down as she wasn't able to stay awake while they were there. She was slowly growing agitated with herself and the people around her. She was beginning to drive people away without even realizing it.

She looked forward to Lucas's visits but they were becoming shorter also as it was basketball season and he had to be there for practices and games. Brooke tried not to be bitter, but she couldn't help it on those days when she lay in her bed alone with no one to talk to. On those days she lived for her dreams, because in her dreams nothing was wrong. In her dreams she lived the life that should've been hers.

"Brooke, may I please have this dance?"

Brooke looked up to see Lucas standing before her. She glanced around them. "Here? At the river court?"

Lucas laughed. "Of course here. Where else would we dance?" He held out his hand to her and when she placed her hand into his soft music could be heard in the background.

"Where's that coming from?" Brooke questioned as Lucas took her into his arms.

"Does it really matter?"

Brooke shook her head as she lay her head on his shoulder. "No, it doesn't." She sighed as he began to lead her around the court.

"Brooke!" Someone shook her. "Brooke, wake up."

"What!"

Lucas laughed. "Hey, sorry. I thought that you'd want to see me, but if you'd rather not I could leave."

Brooke looked up at him. "Do what you want. I'm not keeping you here?"

Lucas's brow furrowed as he gazed down at her. "Come on, Brooke. I was just kidding. What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." Brooke rolled over on her side.

"Brooke. Talk to me, baby. Please don't shut me out."

Brooke sighed, continuing to face away from Lucas. "I've been thinking Lucas. I don't think we should see each other any more."

"What!" Lucas grasped her shoulder and rolled her onto her back so that he could see her face. "What are you talking about?"

Brooke took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I don't think we should see each other anymore. I can't keep pretending that everything is okay. I'm not really a part of your world anymore and it's driving me crazy. I feel left out and I don't like it. So I think that it would be best if we broke up and moved on." She opened her eyes to see Lucas looking at her, questioningly.

"I don't understand, Brooke. I thought you loved me?"

"I do, Lucas. But I can't keep doing this." She paused. "And I think that it's better that you not come see me until I get home again."

Lucas continued to look at her, his confusion clear on his face. "You don't mean this Brooke."

"Yes, I do. Now please leave. I'm tired." Brooke rolled back onto her side, closing her eyes, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall.

"Fine." Lucas sounded angry now. "If this is how you want to be, I can't stop you. When you want to stop this pity party of yours give me a call." He stormed out of the room.

When she was sure that he was gone, Brooke let it all go. Her body shook from the violence of her tears. She knew that she was doing the right thing, but it still hurt. She didn't want to hold Lucas back and she didn't even know if she was going to live or die. Finally exhausted she fell to sleep again.

"Brooke Davis! Wake up this instance!"

Brooke opened her eyes to see Haley and Peyton in her room. "Hey, guys. What's going on?"

"We don't know. That's why we're here. So that, maybe, you can tell us what's going on." Haley glared at Brooke. "What is your problem? Why are you pushing Lucas away?"

Brooke shrugged. "He doesn't deserve this." She waved her hands around the room after arranging herself into a sitting position.

"Who are you to decide that, Brooke?" Peyton sat down on Brooke's bed. "Don't you think that you should let him decide what he wants?"

Brooke shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I don't want him to see me like this. I'm weak and falling apart. I don't even know if this crap is going to make me better or if I'm going to die." She glanced up at them as the tears began to stream down her face. "I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone to see me like this, but I need someone to talk to." She shook her head as Haley sat down beside her. "But I don't want Lucas to be with me because he feels sorry for me."

"Lucas wouldn't do that. He loves you." Haley took Brooke's hand into her own.

Brooke shook her head. "But I don't know that. And it'll be easier on him if we're not together if something goes wrong and I die. It'll be easier to handle if we're just friends."

Peyton laughed. "Brooke, your logic doesn't quite stick. Either way he loves you." She shook her head. "Besides you're not going to die. You have to think positively. Where's Brooke the fighter? The girl that we know and love?"

Brooke shrugged. "I think I puked her up the other day." Her eyelids began to droop. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm so tired." She struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Rest, Brooke. We'll come back." Haley and Peyton helped her lie down and sat watching her while she slept.

"Poor Brooke. I wish I knew what else to do for her." Haley glanced over at Peyton.

Peyton nodded. "Yeah. Me too. I sure hope she gets better soon. I really hate hospitals."

Haley smiled. "Come on. Let's get out of here."