Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Actually, I don't own much of anything.

Notes: Thanks so far to my girl for reviewing the last five entries. Hehe. I love you baby. And thank you to the rest of you in advance (hehe) for your reviews as well. I really do appreciate them. All of your reviews have only made me wanna write more entries, and again, I apologize for not updating sooner. For a little while, internet, or even computer access was hard to come by, but thank you for your patience. Love you all.

Enjoy!

Dedicated to my girl, who wondered why there wasn't a more Mimi-centric entry, so here it is.

Roger's Journal (Don't touch, Mark!)

May 19

What a day it's been today. I am so exhausted it's not even funny. Mark and I went on an adventure today, searching around for the perfect birthday gift for Maureen. Yeah, Maureen. Why, I'll never know, but... Ow! I shouldn't plopped down on my mattress so hard, seeing as it's so close to the hard floor.

So, yes, it's almost Maureen's birthday. Actually it's not for another week, but you know how Mark is. Always one step ahead. "Gotta get her a gift now," he says. Why? It's Maureen. She doesn't need anything. But she sure as hell always wants something. How she and April were ever best friends is way beyond me. I can barely stand a few minutes with her, let alone an entire lifetime, or however long they knew each other. Then again, I'm sure Maureen asks Mark that all the time about me.

Mimi's been on my mind all day today. I was thinking about the only Valentine's Day we spent together. How she would 'mention' her favourite flower, or how she'd hint about what her favourite chocolates were, or even how she would loooove to go to this one restaurant that served one of her favourite dishes. Let's see, what was that again... oh, right, it was this rice dish her mom used to make for her when she was a kid. She swore to me it was delicious. Of course, I never did get the chance to take her to that restaurant. I wanted to though, I just couldn't afford it, and she knew that, but there's nothing wrong with hoping. We did talk about going, someday... I did however, get her her favourite flower. She loved long stemmed red roses, and I got her a single one, with an assist from Angel of course.

I had to ask Angel, though, exactly what her favourite flower was, cuz her hints weren't all that obvious to me. I've always been horrible at taking hints though, so it wasn't her. Ask Mark.

Angel prepped me for the date that night, though it wasn't all that much. She gave me some money, and helped me clean up my appearance. No more dingy, dirty rock star look. Col lent me his 'dinner' jacket, the one he wore on New Years when he dressed up as James Bond. That was funny. So, here I was, looking, and feeling incredibly uncomfortable in a pair of unripped jeans, since the plaid pants just wouldn't work for this date, and a shirt Mark would probably wear, and this jacket. Yeah, I wasn't to sure about this, but they kept telling me how great I looked, and well, they would know best. Especially Angel.

So, I head back to Mimi's, and she's wearing this really hot red dress. It was really short, barely covering anything, sleeveless, with spaghetti straps I believe she called it, and... let's just say, had it not been for the fact I really wanted to show her a good time, I would've just "showed her a good time."

We head out, the night going good so far. I take her to a different restaurant, one not a nice as the one she wanted to go to, but it's a nice one. I don't remember what we ordered, but I do remember staring across that table, and truly seeing Mimi for the first time. Seeing her as a beautiful, loving, caring person, with a lot of fears, though she would never really show them. I think I figured them out since I carried similar fears. We had a normal, non-argumentive conversation, which was a nice change, though it was a bit strange.

Hey, I'm a poet, and didn't know it. But my feet show it... So, dinner went smoothly, and was fucking good. I wish I could remember what we had. Afterwards, I took her to get ice cream. I had never seen her act so young before. Not childish, but young. Innocent. Sweet even. It was so beautiful. It was the first time I truly noticed her eyes. The pain it held, yet there was joy behind them as well. Like she had finally found what she'd been searching for, and was content. It wasn't until I left for Santa Fe though, that truly inspired my song.

Seeing the sorrow, the hurt in those eyes, just reminded me of all the times we'd fight. We fought a lot. Usually about either the smack, or Benny. Sometimes we'd fight about who would be on top, but those fights usually ended nicely, so to speak. But seriously, we'd fight about the stupidest things sometimes. Either I'd say something she didn't like, or I'd check out the chick (or the guy sometimes) who just walked by us. Though I'd catch her checking out the guys (and a few chicks) too, but she always thought I didn't notice. What can I say, I've got a bad temper that's triggered pretty easily.

Mark would know that, but I'm not gonna get into that right now...

Wow, I'm really missing Mimi. I haven't been missing her like I should, but now... now I'm really missing her, and sometimes I think she'll just barge in again like she did that one time. "Take me out tonight." That's what she said. Thanks to her, I finally got out of this place, and back into the world. I owe her so much for that. I owe her a lot more for not loving her the way she deserved to be loved.

She deserved so much better. Not the death sentence we both shared. She wasn't even twenty-one when she died. She had so much more life, and she lived it while she could. She always did. It was unfair she had to endure with this disease. Though, the biggest difference between her and April was, that April couldn't handle it, couldn't live with it, and ended her life. But Mimi, she embraced it, and lived her life to the fullest. She showed me life was worth living, no matter what. Sometimes that's hard to believe though, especially with her being gone already. So young, and her life just taken from her. It's fucked up.

I miss her so much... I miss them all. Mimi, April, Angel... All three of them were a big part of my life in one way or another, and each had their own unique way of getting me off my ass and doing something with my life. I'll be joining them soon though. Eventually...