White Dragon

I could never love you, no matter how much I wanted to. I could never let you know how I feel. My heart tells me to shout it out from the top of the castle towers, to give in to my loneliness and let you pull me into your embrace. But I can't, I'd like to, but I can't. It's better this way. You and I are on different sides. You are heading towards joining his ranks, and I have chosen my path. I have a destiny to fulfill. Even if I chose your side, my route will be the same. My job is the aid the side I've chosen, to throw the battle in their favour. It is not going to be an easy fight. I can't risk you having to kill the one you are with, so it's better if you're not with me, even better if I get you to hate me. Then you won't have to kill the one you care for.

I can't not fight just you can't avoid it either. The fate of the world rests on the outcome. I wish I could fight alongside you, to give you strength, but you chose to oppose, so I must withdraw. My heart aches when I see you, wanting to reach out, but having to slap your hand away and dashing your hopes of winning me over. It hurts me to hurt you, but better that you hate me, then your heart breaking if……I know this seems stupid, that we should enjoy every moment we can have before it's too late, but I'd much rather not. If we had a chance I would, but I don't want to risk breaking you and if I have to go, to leave you venerable. If I don't uncover your mask, you'll still be able to hide behind it, you'll still be able to pretend.

I know who you are inside. Caring, sincere, loving, gentle, loyal, warm, protective… anything but the cold and evil you pretend. You are a white dragon, my white dragon. Fierce purity of heart and emotion. Protective of what's right and what you care about. Yet gentle and unwilling the fight unless necessary. You'd bare your teeth to scared away potential threats, even swipe at them to make them think you are vicious, but I know better. You are a white dragon pretending to be a creature of darkness. Masquerading as the kind that kidnaps princesses, kills knights, and burns villages. But those are all fairy tales aren't they? Just the reputation you build up to hide who you are. To seem like what they want you to be, expect you to be. But I see you. I see the lost white dragon who's trying to pretend, to live up to his father's expectations, to hide who he really is. I see the mask slowly taking over becoming the shell, until it seems like the real thing. It's your way of surviving in your world of dark dragons. But around me, I see him, the real you. The white dragon. The nice boy who opens up to me, trusts me with his sadness, who I know would catch me if I fall, who would love me with his heart, who would let the white dragon rise again if he could find his reason to. I want to allow myself to get lost in your alluring green eyes, to let you run your slender fingers through my hair, to listen to your voice gently coax me into trusting you. But I can't. I don't know what will become of me by the end of the year. I know my fate…

I want to tell you I love you. That you make me melt, cause my heart to flutter and make living worth while. Living… but that's exactly why I can't. When the war is over, I won't be here to celebrate.