Disclaimer: Still don't own Roger, though he does take up residence in my head, so in a way he's me...

Notes: Well, it's been a while, but as I said it's Roger, so it'll take a while. The man starts stuff, but never finishes them... hmm, much like me. Go figure. Enjoy all! It's short, I know. Sorry.

July 27
Roger's Journal (Don't touch, Mark!)

Apparently I haven't written much in this lately, but I've been, well busy. I've been really busy actually. Doing what, you ask? Well, spending more time with Mark, that's what.

Yeah, he's been taking me out, just about every night, though it's seriously been interesting to watch him get me out of the loft in the first place. He almost has to literally drag me out. Well, I do help some. I get my lazy self up and 'allow' him to take me out.

He's been taking me to all my old hang outs, trying to fit in at the same time. It's cute when he tries to be a part of my old life. What he doesn't seem to realize, is that I don't want that old life. I want the new one. I want a brand new start with Mark. I don't wanna pick up where we left off. There was nothing there.

What do I do?

I was thinking about this the other day, and it's been on my mind since, especially since Mark reminded me of it without even trying. He was talking about porns, which I'm still not sure why, cuz I stopped listening to him after I heard the word porn, and immediately started thinking about April.

She and I were horrible when it came to having sex anywhere and anytime we pleased. There was the instance where we were sitting on the couch, and of course I was pretty damn horny, (what do you expect? She was hot!), and well, we fucked right there in the living room, with no regard for anyone home. Then again, we didn't really think anyone was home. Mark stepped out of the bedroom, almost completely unaware of us, and as soon as his eyes made contact with our um, naked bodies, he ran quickly out of the room, and we just kept going.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. I felt bad, sorta, but at the time, I really didn't care. I mean, something about April just made me look at Mark like... like he was just some dumb kid. I loved Mark mind you, as a best friend, and well... but for some reason April didn't like him, and through that, I acted like I didn't sometimes. I know, I was a shitty friend. I've always been a shitty friend to Mark, though. Ask anyone. Hell, ask Collins.

He'll tell you I was the biggest fuck head in the world. One time April and I got this crazy notion to 'steal' Mark's camera and film ourselves having sex, but I figured I'd get rid of it before Mark got a chance to see it, or anyone else for that matter.

You see, we got so caught up in it all that the thought of getting rid of the evidence slipped my mind completely. And it didn't help when April got the best idea ever. After we were finished with our 'film', we heard the shower running, and she looked over at me with this crazy look in her eye. Yes, she wanted to film Mark... naked in the shower.

So, we crept into the bathroom as quietly as possible; he didn't hear us at all. She pulled back the shower curtain... oh we had gotten dressed before doing this, so we wouldn't scare Mark any more than we had intended. So, she pulled back the curtain, and he yelped. Well, more like screamed like a little girl. He quickly covered himself when he noticed I was holding the camera. He tried to step out of the shower, but April held him back, even getting into the shower, clothes and all to keep him in there.

She held him in the shower, by the arm, and sometimes the hair. She'd pull his hands away from his crotch to expose him... she was such a bitch. God I loved her. She was the female me. I filmed him for about fifteen minutes or so, before just walking out of the bathroom, and straight to Mark's room, setting the camera down on his bed. April just stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, and followed.

Needless to say, Mark got out of the shower, still horribly embarrassed, and I think he was crying. Wouldn't have surprised me. I do know he did end up crying later though.

Later that evening, I think Mark got curious about the film, though he had yelled earlier he was gonna get rid of it cuz that was probably the worst thing I had ever done to him, but cuz I did it, he had to see what was on there. He knew it was a naked him, but he was curious. Can't say I blame the boy.

So he watched it, and listening at the door to hear his reaction, I heard him mention that there was a lot more film used than what we had filmed him in the shower. "Oh shit." Yeah, oops... I had completely forgotten to take off the sex. And for some reason I didn't bother to go in there and stop him from watching it either. I should have.

I heard him put it on, and not more than two minutes into the film, even without sound, I heard him... I heard his sobs. His heart broke into a million little pieces that day, and I didn't do a damn thing about it. I just let him watch it, and I pretended I had no idea about it. He never mentioned it to us, or to anyone else, cuz he wasn't like that, but I should've said something.

So, now Mark's trying to seduce me again, after all these years. That's funny to say. Mark's trying to seduce me. Usual I'm the one trying to seduce him... or anyone else. Not that it was hard for me to seduce anyone...

Well, not much else to say really. I could use some advice, but a lot of good it's going to do saying that in here. No one is allowed to read this. ESPECIALLY MARK!