p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emLondon, January 10th, 2004/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emFilthy Mudblood!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione Granger woke up, startled, bewildered, in darkness, to the the sound of desperate screaming; shadowy images, smells, sounds filing her mind./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMudblood! /emBellatrix Lestrange's grating voice had been shrieking; then her touch, clammy, her fingers playing tauntingly with Hermione's hair, running down the length of her face, her neck, her arm; Bellatrix's smell - a peculiar reek of acidic, musky sweat. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione had never smelled anything like it before, and hoped she never would again; she thought of it as the perfume of insanity./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emCRUCIO!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Again and again, the Cruciatus curse, the contorting, shattering, writhing agony. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe heartrending screams, over and over. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThen —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione finally emerged from the nightmare to full consciousness. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe could still hear the echoes of Bellatrix's triumph as she carved the word — emMudblood/em — into Hermione's left arm with that cruel, cursed silver dagger. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione's breathing was still fast and terrified; but at least now she knew it was only a dream./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She opened her eyes: she was in her own bedroom, in her flat in London. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe could even feel the reassuring weight of Crookshanks curled up at the end of the bed. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She was perfectly safe. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAnd yet —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She sat up quickly, reached out a hand and scrambled it over the surface of the small table next to the bed, feeling for her wand, pathetically relieved when her fingers closed on it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""emLumos!/em"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The wand's tip glowed, its dim light revealed the room, the bed, the cat, the furniture — normal, current reality; and Hermione closed her eyes again and took a few calming breaths while counting to ten slowly in her mind./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"When she opened her eyes again, she glanced at the clock: 2:49 a.m./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Damn it!/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She had been so hopeful these nightmares had stopped. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanNow the dreams had recurred three times in the past seven days./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMudblood./em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A chill ran down her spine as the the word came again in her mind, and she couldn't help herself, couldn't help the compulsion to look at her left arm. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe scar was now faded, almost the same colour as her own skin. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut it was there, the word still visible, a constant reminder of everything she had undergone./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emStop it!/em span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe commanded herself. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemJust stop it now!/em span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe pushed aside the duvet and got out of bed, walked to the chest of drawers and pulled out the first thing she could find with long sleeves and put it on rapidly, then pulled the left sleeve all the way down to hide the scar. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanA silly ritual, really, but she had found it helped. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThen she went back to bed and huddled under the duvet, knees drawn up to her chest and arms clasped around them./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Why was this happening again? span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had worked so hard to overcome it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A year after the war, these nightmares and a constant feeling of panic had been at their worst. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanUtterly desperate and, frankly, deluded that she could be clever enough to make it work, she had gone to some trouble to find a Muggle therapist with a good reputation. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had liked him and, in the first few sessions, they had started to build rapport./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Don't worry, Hermione. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanYou needn't give me any details just yet," /emhe had said. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had been banking on this; that they could deal with the symptoms and not need to look too much at the facts./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"But as the therapeutic relationship developed, naturally he wanted more to work with./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Do you have a close relationship with your parents, Hermione?"/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"We did . . . but I haven't really seen them for a while." span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emNot since she obliviated them and sent them to Australia to escape from a war waged by a Dark Wizard who had split his soul into seven fragments./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""emCan you pinpoint an especially frightening experience that might be causing your anxiety?"/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Uhm . . . I was captured in a . . . and I was . . ." span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emNot really a useful basis for treatment, was it? span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut even if she had made a complete statement — emI was captured in a war and tortured — /emhe would have wanted to know which war, tortured how, by whom. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"I understand this is a lot to take on, Hermione, but you are safe here. It's okay to be vulnerable."/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"What could she possibly say to a Muggle that was open and vulnerable? She had sought therapy for self-diagnosed PTSD; she wanted help to get through her issues, not to come out of therapy with a new diagnosis of psychosis. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And, of course, wizards were worse. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThat's why she had even considered Muggle therapy in the first place. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIn the Wizarding world, struggles with mental health were automatically ascribed to curses and dealt with by magical cures; and if a curse couldn't be uncovered or reversed, just turned a discreet blind eye to until they reached such a crisis the authorities gave up and locked the sufferer up in the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"While they were still together, Ron had always tried to comfort her when she woke up screaming. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut she always felt she had to hide some of it from him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanNot because he would have been unfeeling about it all; but because every time she tried, she realised she didn't actually want to share her problems so intimately with him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThere just wasn't a deep enough connection; and in the end their relationship had amicably fizzled out./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Her last resort had been Harry. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe even took him out for a drink, armed with questions about how he was coping. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut when he started talking about how happy he was with Ginny and how much he loved his job as an Auror, she didn't have the heart to open the can of worms that was their wartime experiences. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanEven if he was in denial, which she strongly suspected, who was she to break down his defenses?/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"After this, she had taken Harry as a kind of role model, thrown herself and her problems into her career at the Ministry of Magic and worked until overload, exhaustion and the fact that she really did love her job in Magical Law Enforcement became an effective bandaid./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emI'm fine, /emshe told herself. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemIt's all fine. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt's just stress, /emand she almost convinced herself./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Her recent appointment as Kingsley Shacklebolt's Ministerial Aide carried so much responsibility, and more public scrutiny than she had been used to since the early days after the war. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe was just going through a period of adjustment, that was all. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanOf course old memories would surface; it was inevitably part of the process of change./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Completely awake now, she reached a hand out from under the duvet to switch on the bedside lamp, to make the light in the bedroom bright enough for reading. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAt the end of the bed, Crookshanks, who had been observing her with one barely open eye, shifted to a new, more comfortable position and immediately went back to sleep./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"If only she had the elderly cat's powers of going to sleep whenever it suited her! span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe would kill for a decent night's deep, dream-free sleep./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She sighed, and reached again for the bedside table, this time to pick up the Ministry report she had been reading before she drifted off: span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemA Better Path Forward for Wizarding Criminal Justice: A Proposal for Prisoner Eligibility for the Sirius Black Memorial Wing at Azkaban. span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emIf she wasn't going to get back to sleep, she might as well work. Long-winded, stilted and painstakingly detailed, the report honestly wasn't very interesting. But it emwas/em an interesting subject, and an important one, not to mention the Minister of Magic's highly controversial passion./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Kingsley had started slowly and subtly in his efforts to reform Azkaban, with the decision to ban the dementors from the prison. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe Wizarding public had had no very great reaction. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanMany of those who thought the wizards and witches incarcerated in Azkaban deserved the most extreme of punishments, nevertheless found the dementors and the Ministry's long-standing relationship with them to be questionable. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAfter that, nothing public happened for several years, but throughout that time, Kingsley was having quiet talks behind the scenes with experts on prison systems that promoted prisoner and societal welfare. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAll of these experts had Muggle family members — some were Muggle-born, some half-bloods, one was married to a Muggle; the Muggle penal system was not perfect, but was far more advanced than the Wizarding system./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Of course, eventually emThe Daily Prophet /emhad found out via a Ministry leak, and had alarmed everyone with the incendiary, deliberately exaggerated headline:/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMuggles to Run Azkaban!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Followed the next day by:/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emShacklebolt Proposes Soft Options for Dark Wizards!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Now the entire Wizarding world, irrespective of blood-status or political leanings, was appalled and shocked. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKingsley had to announce his plans publicly and comprehensively. In his statement, he said that he believed Wizarding public policy was anachronistic where incarceration was concerned. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThat the conditions in Azkaban diminished and shamed the whole of Wizarding society. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe past was the past, of course; the reforms would take time; and the Wizarding public could rest assured that no hasty or ill-considered measures would be instituted. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanCurrent prisoners at Azkaban would, for the most part, be kept in the same conditions to which they were sentenced. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut going forward, there must be radical change./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The statement went down surprisingly well, and Kingsley's approval rate went up substantially. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanMany wizards and witches, especially Muggle-borns or half-bloods, saw it as much needed improvement of an antiquated system, and a fresh and hopeful start./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Then —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Last August, the Minister visited Azkaban for the ground-breaking ceremony for theem Sirius Black Memorial Wing /emand, to put it bluntly, the shit had hit the fan./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Because, when he returned home, he had invoked the Ministerial Prerogative of Mercy and summarily released Lucius Malfoy from prison./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emThe Daily Prophet/em had devoted several days of front-page outrage to the release; conversation in the Ministry canteen had been about nothing else. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKingsley declined to explain his action: it had been quite literally his legal prerogative. Like many others, Hermione had not agreed with the decision — at first, she had quite passionately disagreed, in fact. But she had great respect for the Minister, and trusted he would not have taken such a step lightly. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAlthough, she had to admit, it certainly didn't look good: it seemed to be exactly the kind of 'hasty and ill-considered measure' Kingsley had promised not to take./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"From a healthy approval rating, Kingsley's popularity hit an all-time low./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That was when the Minister approached Hermione about joining his private staff as a Ministerial Aide. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHe was honest with her: he wanted her zeal for reform and keen mind; but he also wanted her status as a much-loved Muggle-born war-heroine. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIf she was invovled in the changes, it would help turn public opinion back in their favour. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And that was when the extreme public scrutiny of her every word, action, item of clothing and lunch-time sandwich filling began, along with the stress and, now, the latest development, the recurrence of the terrifying dreams./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione shook her head to clear it, then turned the pages of the report to where she had left off, and began to read again, making notes and highlights as she did so./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emTap! span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanTap! span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emA delicate but insistent staccato sound woke Hermione up. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe report was now splayed on the duvet, content side down, and her quill had fallen on to the floor beside the bed. She must have fallen asleep! Thankfully, there had been no nightmares this time. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe clock said 5:35 am. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPerhaps she had slept for an hour or so — that would be wonderful!/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The tapping sound started up again, coming from the window, and she turned to look. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt was Kingsley's huge and beautiful Tawny Owl, Agnes. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione got up and let her in. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe owl was as dignified, enigmatic and patient as her owner. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe never clicked her beak irritably like Harry's owl Hedwig, or nipped — she just had a habit of looking at you with the suggestion that you were not quite living up to expectations whenever you kept her waiting. She lifted her leg up, offered it pointedly to Hermione, and Hermione removed the piece of parchment tied to it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMy office, please. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanEight o'clock. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanImportant. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKS. span class="Apple-converted-space" /span(Please don't feed Agnes, she is getting fat.)/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione found herself smiling for the first time in hours. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe note was typical Kingsley: a blend of quiet, pragmatic authority and open friendliness. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe couldn't ask for a better boss; or a more interesting and necessary role - one in which she was at the forefront of important change, just as she had always wanted./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She gave the owl a brief, courteous stroke to thank her, and sent her away, then went to the kitchen and put on the kettle to make tea. Crookshanks followed her, and she put out cat food for him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt was all so normal, so peaceful so . . . perfect, really. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe let out a long sigh: apparently the only fly in the ointment of the life she had made was herself!/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emFilthy Mudblood!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione Granger woke up, startled, bewildered, in darkness, to the the sound of desperate screaming; shadowy images, smells, sounds filing her mind./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMudblood! /emBellatrix Lestrange's grating voice had been shrieking; then her touch, clammy, her fingers playing tauntingly with Hermione's hair, running down the length of her face, her neck, her arm; Bellatrix's smell - a peculiar reek of acidic, musky sweat. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione had never smelled anything like it before, and hoped she never would again; she thought of it as the perfume of insanity./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emCRUCIO!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Again and again, the Cruciatus curse, the contorting, shattering, writhing agony. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe heartrending screams, over and over. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThen —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione finally emerged from the nightmare to full consciousness. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe could still hear the echoes of Bellatrix's triumph as she carved the word — emMudblood/em — into Hermione's left arm with that cruel, cursed silver dagger. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione's breathing was still fast and terrified; but at least now she knew it was only a dream./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She opened her eyes: she was in her own bedroom, in her flat in London. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe could even feel the reassuring weight of Crookshanks curled up at the end of the bed. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She was perfectly safe. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAnd yet —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She sat up quickly, reached out a hand and scrambled it over the surface of the small table next to the bed, feeling for her wand, pathetically relieved when her fingers closed on it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""emLumos!/em"/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The wand's tip glowed, its dim light revealed the room, the bed, the cat, the furniture — normal, current reality; and Hermione closed her eyes again and took a few calming breaths while counting to ten slowly in her mind./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"When she opened her eyes again, she glanced at the clock: 2:49 a.m./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Damn it!/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She had been so hopeful these nightmares had stopped. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanNow the dreams had recurred three times in the past seven days./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMudblood./em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A chill ran down her spine as the the word came again in her mind, and she couldn't help herself, couldn't help the compulsion to look at her left arm. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe scar was now faded, almost the same colour as her own skin. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut it was there, the word still visible, a constant reminder of everything she had undergone./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emStop it!/em span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe commanded herself. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemJust stop it now!/em span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe pushed aside the duvet and got out of bed, walked to the chest of drawers and pulled out the first thing she could find with long sleeves and put it on rapidly, then pulled the left sleeve all the way down to hide the scar. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanA silly ritual, really, but she had found it helped. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThen she went back to bed and huddled under the duvet, knees drawn up to her chest and arms clasped around them./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Why was this happening again? span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had worked so hard to overcome it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A year after the war, these nightmares and a constant feeling of panic had been at their worst. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanUtterly desperate and, frankly, deluded that she could be clever enough to make it work, she had gone to some trouble to find a Muggle therapist with a good reputation. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had liked him and, in the first few sessions, they had started to build rapport./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Don't worry, Hermione. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanYou needn't give me any details just yet," /emhe had said. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe had been banking on this; that they could deal with the symptoms and not need to look too much at the facts./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"But as the therapeutic relationship developed, naturally he wanted more to work with./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Do you have a close relationship with your parents, Hermione?"/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"We did . . . but I haven't really seen them for a while." span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emNot since she obliviated them and sent them to Australia to escape from a war waged by a Dark Wizard who had split his soul into seven fragments./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""emCan you pinpoint an especially frightening experience that might be causing your anxiety?"/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"Uhm . . . I was captured in a . . . and I was . . ." span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emNot really a useful basis for treatment, was it? span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut even if she had made a complete statement — emI was captured in a war and tortured — /emhe would have wanted to know which war, tortured how, by whom. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"em"I understand this is a lot to take on, Hermione, but you are safe here. It's okay to be vulnerable."/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"What could she possibly say to a Muggle that was open and vulnerable? She had sought therapy for self-diagnosed PTSD; she wanted help to get through her issues, not to come out of therapy with a new diagnosis of psychosis. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And, of course, wizards were worse. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThat's why she had even considered Muggle therapy in the first place. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIn the Wizarding world, struggles with mental health were automatically ascribed to curses and dealt with by magical cures; and if a curse couldn't be uncovered or reversed, just turned a discreet blind eye to until they reached such a crisis the authorities gave up and locked the sufferer up in the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"While they were still together, Ron had always tried to comfort her when she woke up screaming. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut she always felt she had to hide some of it from him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanNot because he would have been unfeeling about it all; but because every time she tried, she realised she didn't actually want to share her problems so intimately with him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThere just wasn't a deep enough connection; and in the end their relationship had amicably fizzled out./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Her last resort had been Harry. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe even took him out for a drink, armed with questions about how he was coping. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut when he started talking about how happy he was with Ginny and how much he loved his job as an Auror, she didn't have the heart to open the can of worms that was their wartime experiences. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanEven if he was in denial, which she strongly suspected, who was she to break down his defenses?/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"After this, she had taken Harry as a kind of role model, thrown herself and her problems into her career at the Ministry of Magic and worked until overload, exhaustion and the fact that she really did love her job in Magical Law Enforcement became an effective bandaid./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emI'm fine, /emshe told herself. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemIt's all fine. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt's just stress, /emand she almost convinced herself./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Her recent appointment as Kingsley Shacklebolt's Ministerial Aide carried so much responsibility, and more public scrutiny than she had been used to since the early days after the war. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe was just going through a period of adjustment, that was all. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanOf course old memories would surface; it was inevitably part of the process of change./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Completely awake now, she reached a hand out from under the duvet to switch on the bedside lamp, to make the light in the bedroom bright enough for reading. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAt the end of the bed, Crookshanks, who had been observing her with one barely open eye, shifted to a new, more comfortable position and immediately went back to sleep./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"If only she had the elderly cat's powers of going to sleep whenever it suited her! span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe would kill for a decent night's deep, dream-free sleep./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She sighed, and reached again for the bedside table, this time to pick up the Ministry report she had been reading before she drifted off: span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanemA Better Path Forward for Wizarding Criminal Justice: A Proposal for Prisoner Eligibility for the Sirius Black Memorial Wing at Azkaban. span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emIf she wasn't going to get back to sleep, she might as well work. Long-winded, stilted and painstakingly detailed, the report honestly wasn't very interesting. But it emwas/em an interesting subject, and an important one, not to mention the Minister of Magic's highly controversial passion./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Kingsley had started slowly and subtly in his efforts to reform Azkaban, with the decision to ban the dementors from the prison. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe Wizarding public had had no very great reaction. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanMany of those who thought the wizards and witches incarcerated in Azkaban deserved the most extreme of punishments, nevertheless found the dementors and the Ministry's long-standing relationship with them to be questionable. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAfter that, nothing public happened for several years, but throughout that time, Kingsley was having quiet talks behind the scenes with experts on prison systems that promoted prisoner and societal welfare. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAll of these experts had Muggle family members — some were Muggle-born, some half-bloods, one was married to a Muggle; the Muggle penal system was not perfect, but was far more advanced than the Wizarding system./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Of course, eventually emThe Daily Prophet /emhad found out via a Ministry leak, and had alarmed everyone with the incendiary, deliberately exaggerated headline:/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMuggles to Run Azkaban!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Followed the next day by:/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emShacklebolt Proposes Soft Options for Dark Wizards!/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Now the entire Wizarding world, irrespective of blood-status or political leanings, was appalled and shocked. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKingsley had to announce his plans publicly and comprehensively. In his statement, he said that he believed Wizarding public policy was anachronistic where incarceration was concerned. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThat the conditions in Azkaban diminished and shamed the whole of Wizarding society. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe past was the past, of course; the reforms would take time; and the Wizarding public could rest assured that no hasty or ill-considered measures would be instituted. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanCurrent prisoners at Azkaban would, for the most part, be kept in the same conditions to which they were sentenced. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanBut going forward, there must be radical change./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The statement went down surprisingly well, and Kingsley's approval rate went up substantially. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanMany wizards and witches, especially Muggle-borns or half-bloods, saw it as much needed improvement of an antiquated system, and a fresh and hopeful start./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Then —/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Last August, the Minister visited Azkaban for the ground-breaking ceremony for theem Sirius Black Memorial Wing /emand, to put it bluntly, the shit had hit the fan./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Because, when he returned home, he had invoked the Ministerial Prerogative of Mercy and summarily released Lucius Malfoy from prison./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emThe Daily Prophet/em had devoted several days of front-page outrage to the release; conversation in the Ministry canteen had been about nothing else. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKingsley declined to explain his action: it had been quite literally his legal prerogative. Like many others, Hermione had not agreed with the decision — at first, she had quite passionately disagreed, in fact. But she had great respect for the Minister, and trusted he would not have taken such a step lightly. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanAlthough, she had to admit, it certainly didn't look good: it seemed to be exactly the kind of 'hasty and ill-considered measure' Kingsley had promised not to take./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"From a healthy approval rating, Kingsley's popularity hit an all-time low./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"That was when the Minister approached Hermione about joining his private staff as a Ministerial Aide. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHe was honest with her: he wanted her zeal for reform and keen mind; but he also wanted her status as a much-loved Muggle-born war-heroine. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIf she was invovled in the changes, it would help turn public opinion back in their favour. /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"And that was when the extreme public scrutiny of her every word, action, item of clothing and lunch-time sandwich filling began, along with the stress and, now, the latest development, the recurrence of the terrifying dreams./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione shook her head to clear it, then turned the pages of the report to where she had left off, and began to read again, making notes and highlights as she did so./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p
hr style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #000000;" /
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emTap! span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanTap! span class="Apple-converted-space" /span/emA delicate but insistent staccato sound woke Hermione up. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe report was now splayed on the duvet, content side down, and her quill had fallen on to the floor beside the bed. She must have fallen asleep! Thankfully, there had been no nightmares this time. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe clock said 5:35 am. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanPerhaps she had slept for an hour or so — that would be wonderful!/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The tapping sound started up again, coming from the window, and she turned to look. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt was Kingsley's huge and beautiful Tawny Owl, Agnes. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanHermione got up and let her in. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe owl was as dignified, enigmatic and patient as her owner. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe never clicked her beak irritably like Harry's owl Hedwig, or nipped — she just had a habit of looking at you with the suggestion that you were not quite living up to expectations whenever you kept her waiting. She lifted her leg up, offered it pointedly to Hermione, and Hermione removed the piece of parchment tied to it./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"emMy office, please. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanEight o'clock. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanImportant. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanKS. span class="Apple-converted-space" /span(Please don't feed Agnes, she is getting fat.)/em/p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Hermione found herself smiling for the first time in hours. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanThe note was typical Kingsley: a blend of quiet, pragmatic authority and open friendliness. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe couldn't ask for a better boss; or a more interesting and necessary role - one in which she was at the forefront of important change, just as she had always wanted./p
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She gave the owl a brief, courteous stroke to thank her, and sent her away, then went to the kitchen and put on the kettle to make tea. Crookshanks followed her, and she put out cat food for him. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanIt was all so normal, so peaceful so . . . perfect, really. span class="Apple-converted-space" /spanShe let out a long sigh: apparently the only fly in the ointment of the life she had made was herself!/p