Sorry it's been a while guys. Life happens and I had a lot going on these past few months. Hopefully the wait is worth it though and I have a huge chapter for you so yay!
Special thanks to Phhenixus, darkxlunatiic,RedKitsune2016, Okami24, Bumblebee3230, Yuki, Naruhina1519, Ciffeen8te, Creme Tea, I AM DEPRIVED, Arumihh, bertotroannie,
Erehh, POTATOEGIRL, Marvynthephoenix,Malfoy Mouth James-MMJ, RISHO, Janeth16, fishywishygirl, sam, GoddessofPower10, and LittlePurpleDress2 for the reviews! And as always to Denarii for editing.
Chapter 108
Hannah Abbott's mother had died. No, not just died, been murdered by Death Eaters in her own home.
For the rest of the school it was a fact that no one wanted to look at, something too ugly and disturbing for everyone's hearts when spring was just starting to bloom. It was now all Neville could think of. He had stood there as Professor Sprout pulled Hannah away from their project and she never returned to class. Hannah had received the worst news of her life today. One moment had shattered her world and it came so quickly.
Neville stood looking out at the lake and wondered at how swift Death would be if it chose to take Graces. Telling Draco seemed like such a dangerous plan now. Hannah's mother was killed for being a muggle and nothing more, what would they do to Graces for betraying their cause? He looked down at the blanket he had laid out for him and Graces to eat lunch on and the sack of Cornish pasties and it seemed so out of place in the world they were living in.
Here he was setting up a stupid date when there were such big matters at hand. He ran through all the dangers Graces was going to face once they were public and he fought the urge to pack everything up and leave. He could tell Graces they were being mad and it was for the best for them to remain a secret.
That comes with its own risks and problems. A snide voice reminded.
"Longbottom," Graces greeted cheerily, walking up from some bushes.
Neville looked up from his thoughts and for a brief moment forgot his reasons to be fretting. Graces gave him the most dazzling smile before surveying the small picnic set up he had made.
"No flowers this time?" Graces asked coolly, turning back towards him and raising a brow.
Neville flushed. He had completely forgotten. He had planned to get Graces flowers, but after hearing about Hannah's mother his thoughts were very far away from small gestures of love.
"I—gods—I—"
"I'm kidding, Neville," Graces scoffed, rolling her eyes and sitting happily on the maroon blanket Neville had laid out. Neville offered a small smile and his thoughts quickly returned to the fear he was holding.
"I was planning to get you flowers," Neville swore. "I just—" he shook his head. "Forgot," he murmured lamely.
"I really was kidding," Graces smiled. "I don't expect flowers for every date. That's absurd."
Neville wanted to tell her that he was going to remember next time and every time after that because it wasn't absurd at all. She deserved flowers at every date and he wanted to give her one for each of them, but the pit in his stomach wouldn't allow him such happy words. So he just swallowed his apology and looked down at his shoes.
"Neville, I really was kidding," Graces laughed. "Stop beating yourself up about it and come here and sit with me. You're going to find it's rather hard to kiss me all the way over there, and you promised me much kissing."
He could feel Graces eyes on him as he continued to stand there far away from her. He glanced up to see her happy demeanor was slowly fading away to concern. He was ruining this, he knew he was ruining this, but this was just one moment that didn't seem nearly as important as all the others to follow. What if, in this moment, if he chose to ignore his concerns, it got her killed?
"Is something wrong?" Graces asked slowly, her gray eyes staring up at him unsurely. His heart clenched at seeing her happy features slowly fade, but he also couldn't seem to unburden his concerns.
Neville ran his fingers through his hair and paced along the water's edge as Graces' eyes followed his every movement, patiently waiting for him to speak.
"I want to come with you," he blurted out finally.
The concern that had etched Graces features vanished and he saw that perfectly sculpted pureblood mask come up and replace it. It had been a while since he had seen this, since she had decided to show indifference and hostility to him in a conversation that was emotional and he was taken aback by it.
"No," Graces dismissed simply. "We've already discussed this and an agreement has already been met."
"I only begrudgingly agreed last night," Neville pointed out. "I was never comfortable with this."
"It doesn't matter. You agreed."
"What if something happens?" Neville questioned.
"Like what?" Grace asked with false innocence.
"You know what." Neville said quietly, giving Graces a look that told her he was in no mood for this.
Graces' face gave him no indication as to what she was thinking, she sat there cordially looking up at him. He felt like she was trying to decipher him and wondered if this was a trait all her own or if he was seeing a bit of her mother in this action: cool, collected, patient and calculating.
"Sit down, Neville," Graces sighed, patting the place beside her.
"I don't want to sit down, I want to come tonight. If something happens I need to be there," Neville's voice was shaking despite himself. He pressed down on the emotion welling up in him and continued. "No one aside from me knows you are telling him. What if—"
"Draco will not harm me," Graces stated firmly. "Also, you are the one who has been so sure that Draco will accept us. Last night you were so positive, and now—"
"And now I'm realizing if he doesn't—if I'm wrong—he might kill you," Neville snapped, standing there in the ringing silence his words had caused. "I am remembering that your family believes it's okay to do things like make women barren and kill family members for stepping out of line. Merlin, what if he takes you away and locks you up in a dungeon or something?"
Graces took a deep breath. "None of that will happen, Neville. And Draco isn't going to lock me up in our dungeons."
"What do you mean our dungeons?! You have dungeons?" Neville screeched, his face going ghostly pale.
Graces opened her mouth to answer and then closed it. Neville watched as she seemed to struggle with answering and realized that her family absolutely had dungeons. He buried his face in his palms and tried to slow his breathing.
"You have to let me come," Neville sniffed. "You have to. Please, I can't do this. I can't—"
"Neville, calm down," Graces pleaded.
"Stop telling me to calm down! If something happens it's on me. You're doing this for me. If he hurts you it's because of me! And I need to be there. I have to be there because I need to be able to protect you!"
Graces glanced at her watch. They didn't have much time and she had no plans of allowing Neville to come.
"Please come sit with me," she said quietly, patting the space next to her. Neville did so, but she noted how he kept his distance with where he chose to sit. She moved closer to him and took his hand, though he tried to recoil from her touch at first he eventually relaxed under it despite himself.
"Draco will not harm me," she repeated. "At least not right away. He will allow me to tell him and then if doesn't agree he will give me a warning of what is to come and let me go."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because it is the same reason I didn't want to tell McGonagall of our plans tonight."
Neville scowled before realization dawned on him. "So if he chooses not to switch sides he can get away," he whispered, looking up at her with horror.
Graces face held nothing but challenge in it. She could tell that Neville absolutely did not like that and she hadn't expected him to, but it would happen all the same. She would not have her brother arrested as a Death Eater and sent to Azkaban or fighting Dumbledore himself. No, she would make sure he could escape and no one of importance would know his decision until he was safely away.
"If Draco doesn't switch sides and remains with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, where does that leave the world, Graces? What about—"
"I will not be the reason my brother is put in Azkaban, Neville. I can't be and retain my sanity."
"So if he's going to harm you you'll have a warning," Neville stated bitterly. "I don't feel that much better."
"These are the terms," Graces maintained.
Neville looked up at her with a bolt of defiance, before restraining his own emotions.
"Fine," he muttered, the anger barely being held back in the word. "I still want to come tonight."
Even though Graces knew she had just won a great battle with Neville, she still couldn't let him come. It wasn't right for him to come. This was a private conversation she should have with her brother. She couldn't simply allow Neville to come so they could have peace in their relationship regarding this matter.
"How about this," Graces said gently. "How about we meet tonight. Alone. I will come straight to you after I am done telling Draco, so you won't be lying tortured in your bed all night."
"Or I could come," Neville begged. "I bet Harry would let me use his cloak. Draco wouldn't even know I was there."
Again Graces shook her head. "No. Draco, no matter what, is going to have a bad reaction when I first tell him and he should be allowed to rage at me with all his fury and not be interrupted. Something I know you will not be able to just allow," Graces said slowly, giving Neville a knowing look. "And I will not allow his privacy to be invaded. He is not going to want you there. This has to be between Draco and I alone."
Neville looked to be on the brink of tears and when she reached out to brush the fringe from his face the dam he tried so hard to maintain began to burst. "I can't lose you," he whispered, his voice sounding more challenging than sad. "I can't. I—"
"You need to think better of my brother," Graces whispered, leaning her chin on Neville's shoulder. "You're supposed to love him for me and all I am hearing is that you fear him."
"You know I have reason to fear him. He is a Death Eater," Neville reminded.
"You know I've promised to be one as well," Graces reminded. "For Thomas, my family." Graces took a long suffering breath. "For what I thought was honor. You don't know Draco, Neville, but I do. So replace the fear you have with faith. Gryffindors are supposed to be good at that."
"I refuse to be stupid enough to rely on faith when it comes to you," Neville swallowed. "People devote their whole life to faith only to have it betray them."
Graces couldn't argue the truth in those words. She reached out her hand to brush Neville's cheek only to let it fall away when she saw the touch did not soothe any of his fears. If anything Neville seemed to be getting angry with her for trying to calm him. She supposed that would make sense though considering the anger from earlier was still right on the surface.
"Neville," she begged in a whispered tone. "You know we won't get this again. Draco will never allow for us to be alone like this after I tell him. He's going to come to every single one of our dates until we are joined and halt any heated gazes, sit between us, and you can absolutely forget snogging me. He's going to insist on everything being proper, not only because he will want us to seem legitimate in everyone's eyes, but also because he absolutely despises being the third wheel. This is your last chance to have me for yourself and you are ruining it."
"I love you," Neville declared with more anger than Graces thought he intended. "If you think for one moment I wouldn't gladly forfeit my last chance to snog you and keep you safe then you do not understand the extent of how much I love you."
"Ridiculous man," Graces cursed, standing up.
"How is wanting to keep you safe ridiculous?" Neville snapped, standing up as well.
"You know I am a bloody witch, and a skilled witch at that. I don't need you to protect me," Graces seethed, deciding to give over to her annoyance and throw all the patience she had out the window. She no longer cared that Neville was just worried or that he was a good man that just wanted to protect her and he was struggling with his own fears. She now didn't give a damn what he was feeling or why, she just cared that she needed to protect Draco as much as possible, betray him a little less than she already had. Neville was not going to change his mind and she needed to make this absolutely clear now.
"I have valid reasons to be concerned here and you know it. You haven't told Draco for a reason and—"
"Don't you dare throw my mistakes in my face, you do not get to use that as a reason to validate your argument. I didn't tell Draco because I wasn't serious about you at first and then because I needed to make sure that this was real. The time after was me gaining courage and—"
"And fear!" Neville yelled. "And don't you dare dismiss the realities of the situation. I now know the realities of it, the realities that you hid from me!"
"Oh, we're going to throw that in my face too," Graces snarled, shooting him a hateful glare.
"Stop acting like my use of sound logic is a weapon I am wielding against you!"
"I don't understand you. I don't understand why you are doing this. We agreed already. This was put to rest last night! You can't do this!" Graces screamed.
"You are being such a child right now! I want to have a real discussion with you and you're just screaming like a prat how you have to have things your way!"
"I am not!" Graces stomped.
"You just stomped your foot at me," Neville pointed out. "You are being ridiculous. You know I have sound valid arguments and you're just refusing to acknowledge them! You just want me to give in!"
"I am so done with this conversation, Neville. So absolutely, bloody done. Gods help you if you continue to argue with me on this," Graces seethed, fighting the impulse to grab her wand.
"Absolutely not!" Neville bellowed. "You do not get to just end this fight, Malfoy! We are going to—"
Neville stopped short and his face went ashen as he stared a small way from where Graces was standing. Graces turned to where Neville's eyes were to find Hannah standing among some trees. Her eyes were red from crying and she seemed aghast at what she had stumbled upon.
Neville moved forward past Graces over to the other girl and quietly asked if she was okay.
"I, erm, I was just—" Hannah wiped away some tears and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I just wanted to get away from the castle for a bit. I didn't know anyone would be out here."
Graces looked away as Hannah seemed close to more tears and Neville said some hushed words to her. She didn't quite know what Hannah had seen or heard, but she tried to settle her nerves with the knowledge that it was probably not too much, that Neville would have noticed her and where she was standing pretty soon. It wasn't far from his line of sight.
She looked up to see Hannah's eyes kept darting towards her.
"I'm very sorry about your mother," Graces said awkwardly. "Truly."
Hannah didn't acknowledge her condolences, if anything her words seemed to just upset the other girl more.
"What are you two doing out here? Why are you fighting?"
She turned to Neville for the answers, her eyes swimming with questions that one moment burned for answers and the next seemed to die from the rest of the sorrow washing over her.
"Longbottom and I both like this spot for lunch," Graces answered coolly. "It was my spot and then I told Longbottom about it for our project since it was a good place to plant the willow. Now we tend to fight over it."
Hannah glanced over at her, but it was clear she didn't trust her words. She turned back to Neville begging for the answers. Neville simply nodded in agreement.
"That's what you agreed upon last night?" Hannah questioned.
"It is," Neville lied.
Hannah's brow furrowed and Graces watched as she tried her best to piece together what she had heard with the new information. She seemed to distrust what they were saying as the reason, but also didn't have any information to not believe it.
"Lunch is almost over," Graces grumbled. "I'm going to go. Thanks for the lovely time, Longbottom," Graces added, giving Neville a condescending smirk and turning to leave.
Neville felt a pit in his stomach open as Graces stomped away. He also then remembered that Graces hadn't eaten anything. He shouted after her that she forgot her lunch and was only answered with a vulgar hand gesture.
Absolutely nothing had been resolved and now they were fighting. Neville's chest tightened at the realization the fight couldn't even continue. Graces was going to meet with Draco without him and there would be no time for them to discuss the matter beforehand. She had already told McGonagall last night when the older woman returned that she wasn't going to have dinner with her the next night, that she was going to spend time with her brother and friends.
"You still like her, don't you?" Hannah asked quietly, waking Neville from his thoughts.
"What makes you say that?"
"Graces said you agreed already and yet you're here. So you must have come here knowing she would be here. And I saw you in the library the other day when I was talking to her, a distance away. Clearly, you are wanting to be near her."
Neville frowned slightly considering how things must have looked to Hannah.
"Aside from it all being pathetic, it's also creepy," Hannah pointed out, disgust simmering underneath her words.
Neville's brows raised in surprise at Hannah's harsh words. Truth be told he was surprised at the harshness, though knowing the real reasons behind it all prevented him from having any other emotions towards them. He could see why Hannah thought that, but it all wasn't true so it didn't matter.
Hannah moved away from him and sat on the bank of the water staring out at the water. Neville wasn't sure if he should stay or go. Hannah had said she had come out here for privacy, but now, seeing how sad she was, he was unsure if he should just go. Class was about to begin, he absolutely should go, but he also didn't know how to leave someone at such an awful time.
"I'm sorry," Hannah said into the stillness that had settled upon them. "That was unkind."
"Hannah?" Neville said quietly, taking a step to stand on the bank where the blonde was sitting.
Hannah looked up at him briefly, before turning away. He watched as she seemed to hold her breath against the tears that had moments ago been erupting from her. He stood unsurely for a moment, before slowly sitting beside her. The small act was enough to break the feeble dam against the tears Hannah was trying to muster.
"I am so sorry about your mum," Neville said sincerely. Hannah just nodded, her face scrunched up in agony as though him saying it made it somehow more was nothing he could say. He knew that no words he had could offer her comfort, and yet he sat there trying desperately to think of some. When no words came he placed a tentative hand on her shoulder.
"I can't believe she's gone," Hannah rasped, folding herself more into herself. "I don't understand how anyone could want to hurt my mum."
"There are just bad people in the world," Neville stated lamely, looking out at the water. "They don't need a reason."
Neville could feel Hannah's eyes on him as though she had momentarily forgotten that he would know first hand what it was like to lose someone so cruelly.
"I'm so angry," Hannah admitted, gritting her teeth and sucking in a sharp breath. "I'm so angry and when I'm not angry I feel... I feel like I am going to die from sorrow. And I feel like I will never move past either emotion. I don't even want to think of her, because it hurts so much and then I want to remember everything about her at the same time because I am scared I'll forget."
"It won't feel that way forever," Neville promised, wondering himself if that was true.
Hannah was silent for a long while before asking what it felt like for him.
"It's different for me."
"How?"
Neville swallowed. "Because my parents are alive."
Hannah looked up at him in surprise. "But... you live with your gran. I-I assumed they had died."
Neville nodded and tried to push down his discomfort. "They're not well enough to take care of me."
"Why not?"
Neville took a breath and decided that he should just tell her. "They were aurors during the war. After He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named fell, some Death Eaters caught them and tortured them until they went mad. So they stay in the Janus Thickey Ward. My mother doesn't even know who I am and she isn't in any way fit to be around people and my father is… just a body. He's dead, but his body is alive."
Hannah seemed beside herself with this new piece of information and stared away from Neville as she pieced together all of this.
"You never told me any of that," Hannah said finally.
"I don't tell anyone about that."
"Why not? Are you embarrassed?" she asked, her words just curious.
"I used to be, but now it has nothing to do with being embarrassed. I don't like to talk about it."
"Why not? I mean wouldn't it feel better to have someone to talk to about it sometimes?"
"Not for me."
Hannah didn't seem to understand this and Neville realized that perhaps she did want to talk about those kinds of things. That maybe talking about her mum to people that weren't in the same position had made her feel more alone. He could tell she wanted to talk to him, and while it didn't help him, didn't make him feel better, maybe it would help Hannah.
"It's okay to be angry," Neville assured.
"Are you angry?"
Neville nodded and looked out onto the water. "Perhaps not to the same extent as you. Maybe to the same, I don't know. I'm pretty numb to it all now."
"I don't want to be numb to it." Hannah sniffed. "I hate them; I hate them all. Not just the ones that did it, but the ones that allowed it to happen. Everyone who has let it all get this far. I hate them all. And I want them all to hurt like I'm hurting now. I want them all to die, or lose someone they love like I have."
That was pain speaking. Neville knew that and he understood that. It would have been easy to tell Hannah that that was no way to live her life, that her mother wouldn't have wanted her to feel this anger forever, but at the same time he knew those words would mean nothing right now. This cut was too fresh, nothing had mended yet, so words like that would only be like lemon on a wound.
He reached out and took her hand. "It's okay to feel that way right now," he nodded.
"How can you not feel this way?" Hannah demanded, ripping her hand away. "Your parents, what happened to them, it's just as bad. Maybe even worse. You should be just as angry as I am, maybe more so!"
"I am angry," Neville declared slowly. "It's different though. I don't remember my parents outside of what they are now, I was so young when it happened and when I was told the truth it had less of a shocking effect. This is my normal."
"You are sad, Hannah, because you loved your mum for who she was. You had a mum, you knew her and you loved her for more than just the idea that she was your mother. She was a real person with a life for you, she did the things mothers are supposed to do, you had a bond. I do not have any of that with my mother. I mourn what I could have had and what could have been. You mourn what you did have and what you will always have to carry. A love and a bond that was once shared in life and now in the most twisted of ways has become unrequited."
"You will always love your mom. You will always do things to show that love. You will lay flowers at a grave, remember birthdays and holidays. See things that you remember she liked and have moments for her, but nothing will be returned to you now because she is gone. The love I have for my mother has always been unrequited, so I don't remember or know a time where it was returned. What is happening to you is different and what you are feeling is different because your world wasn't like this before."
Hannah's face twisted at the truth in those words and she pressed her knees closer to her chest before sobbing into herself. Neville moved closer to her, but didn't try to touch her again. He remembered what it was like for him when his grandfather passed and the way it felt like his whole chest caved in from the pain of it. There had been no real anger though, not like what Hannah was having to feel. His one true loss of his grandfather didn't have that added factor into it. If there was anger it was just because of the unfairness of it all. He imagined what it was like for Hannah now. He thought about the feelings he did have regarding what happened to his parents and paired it with if they were truly gone.
"I think Graces knew," Hannah sputtered, looking up at him again and taking a deep breath. "I think she knew and that's why Thomas stopped letting Octavian around our family. They had an idea of what was coming and they wanted distance."
"No, Hannah, she didn't," Neville swore.
"She knew something," Hannah gasped, desperately wiping away her tears. "She knew something and the thing is she doesn't care… she doesn't care about people like my mum because she was a muggle or people like me because I'm not a pureblood. She and everyone like her are why my mother is gone!"
"Graces is not like that, you don't know her."
"Oh and you do?" Hannah scoffed. "You've heard her say awful things to me first hand and you still want to say she's not like that? Her brother has called Hermione a mudblood more times than anyone can count, but she's not like that?"
Neville bit his tongue against all that he wanted to say. She was wrong and he could correct her, but it wasn't the time or place to do so.
"People like her should make you angry," she said thickly. "Her family and what they believe are why your parents aren't here and my mother is dead."
Again there was nothing Neville could say, at least not now. He had heard Hannah wasn't going to finish out the year. Tomorrow she would be taking the train back to be with her father, to mourn, to have a funeral and the rest of the year to adjust from such a deep loss. Maybe after it all came out regarding his and Graces' relationship he would write her and explain, but he couldn't now. He may not even then. Once they were all out in the open people would either believe what was true about Graces or continue to think that she was still the same person she had been. He liked to believe people would see how much she's changed, but in the end it didn't matter to him if they did. He knew her and that was enough.
"You don't have to stay," Hannah declared after Neville didn't answer. "I'm fine if you want to go. I know classes started."
"I know, but I'm happy to stay with you if you like."
"Do you want to stay?"
Neville raised a brow like Graces would with such a question. "Of course I would. You're my friend and your mum just died. I want to be here, so long as you want me here."
"Are we friends?" Hannah questioned, bitterness seeping out despite herself.
Neville chewed on the question for a while. "I like to think so," he said delicately. "Things got a bit messy this year, but I would like to be how we were before."
Hannah looked like she wanted to say something more or ask something more, but in the end she just nodded.
"Thank you for staying here with me."
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Graces had never been more nervous for a conversation in her life. She walked side by side with Draco after dinner in total silence. She had told Draco that she needed to talk to him and he had agreed that they needed to speak to one another. And from there it was an unspoken agreement that they would do so after dinner. Graces, despite having only eaten breakfast, couldn't stomach a single bite and Draco it appeared had the same issue. He had given her a tight smile when he noticed her watching him pick at some peas, but they said nothing beyond that.
When they reached the Room of Requirement he paused and turned towards her, his stormy eyes meeting her matching pair.
"I want you to know that I love you and everything I have done is out of that love."
Graces scowled, having a feeling that Draco didn't mean his Mark. "What have you done?" she asked, her breath ghosting his cheeks.
Draco's lips thinned. "Come."
She frowned slightly, but obeyed. When they entered the room she was surprised to see that Graham was already waiting there, a worn look to him. He glanced up at her briefly before going back to his thoughts. She turned to Draco and whispered that she needed to speak to him privately, but he ignored her and gestured for her to take a seat at the table Graham was at.
Bewildered, she took the seat. She stared over at Graham, silently asking him what this was about, but the other boy just turned away from her as though he couldn't bear the thought of telling her. Fear began to climb up through her chest and the longer Draco stood before the table in silence, the more desperate she was to know what was happening.
Draco held the back of a chair to steady himself and looked down at his sister, sick with sorrow. Graces was always to be his responsibility. He had never known a day where that wasn't reality, but before this he had thought that responsibility was to be a simple dynamic. He, as the patriarch and her brother, would ensure that she had everything she needed and wanted. He would ensure that any marriage she fell into would be good, that she would not suffer any abuse, that the power dynamic of the marriage never slipped and tilted in a way that left her under someone's thumb. If the man she married wasn't rich there would be actions to ensure that he did better in his career, or that Graces had what she needed in a vault in her name.
He never thought he would have to make decisions of higher importance for her. He thought he would be there to carefully guide her in life and he could go to her for advice as well. He had imagined them talking over bottles of wine about this issue and that. He wanted to cry thinking of what could have been. Graces, grown, married with a career as a healer, coming over to his house angry about one thing or another and them drinking and letting off steam together. Draco had always thought he would always get to be her safety net. And they would struggle together and then laugh about it later. He was going to miss all of that.
"Katie Bell is going to be waking up soon, three or four weeks," he said tightly. "And I am not any closer to getting this cabinet to work than when I first started. On top of that things are getting more… out of hand. Dangerous. A lot of followers are getting restless and are doing things to scare others. It's as if they just want the world to know we're here, though things are quiet. I'm sure you've heard about the Abbotts. I've been firecalling mum the past few nights and we've come to a decision. We both feel it best, in order to ensure your safety, that you and Graham marry. Tomorrow she will be taking you out of school to be privately tutored and you and Graham will be joined quietly this weekend."
"No. No, you can't. You—"
"It's done," Draco murmured.
"No, it can't be," Graces begged. "Draco, I need to talk to you. I—"
"I know you're seeing someone," Draco said delicately. "I know you may even think you're in love, maybe you are," he added sadly. "I don't want to know who, because whoever it is I know is not appropriate or you wouldn't have hidden it."
Graces face was a mixture of horror and despair as she looked up at him tearfully. "Draco, it is love and I want to tell you who it is. I wanted to talk to you about it today, that's why I wanted to speak to you. I-I don't want this lie between us any longer. Back in September I—"
Draco raised a hand to stop her from going further.
"I don't care who it is. I don't want to know; it can't be," Draco dismissed, looking away from his sister's tears. "I'm sorry, Graces, I truly am. I've made the decision that is going to keep you safe and I am going to stand by that. We are out of options. This is not a choice. It's done."
"You don't care who it is? You don't want to know?" Graces asked thickly. "You don't care that I'm in love? That I have spent this past school year guarding that love with everything I had so that it could not be poisoned or taken away from me?"
Draco blinked at her words. Was she this obtuse? This selfish? Did she forget that he had been guarding her this past year? He had sold his soul to keep her safe and she had abandoned him and protected someone else, left him alone to suffer and poured all her effort into keeping another safe, some idiot who didn't return the effort. Graham was sitting here ready to marry her and save her from what their family was to be condemned to and this bloke she loved so much was nowhere through any of it.
"No, I don't care," he said coldly. "Whoever he is most certainly wasn't appropriate or you would have told me. I honestly don't wish to know who it is. Graham is the only person that is appropriate and has the ability to keep you from harm. So you will marry him."
"No!" Graces shrieked standing so quickly that her chair dropped to the floor. "No! I do not consent!"
"Graces," Graham pleaded, trying to get her to sit back down.
"Don't touch me!" Graces shrieked, as if him touching her made it true, made him her husband. "I am saying no! And if mum comes here to take me away I am telling whatever professor is there during this that she is taking me out of school to be married and I do not consent to the marriage!"
Graces whirled around on him and Draco took a step back. "I know the law," she seethed. "You or mom can sign off on my marriage as the patriarch or as my parent, since I am under age, but I still have to consent to it. And if anyone gets a word that this is not something I am consenting to, there will be an investigation. An investigation that as you know would not be good for us right now."
"You are so ungrateful," Draco shook. "You. You have a wonderful life laid in front of you. One where you would be free to walk away from these horrors and be with someone who wants nothing more than to keep you safe! And instead of being appreciative you threaten us? I would trade places with you in an instant if I could. What I wouldn't give to be you with such options!"
"That is not a life, that is a prison," Graces whispered, angry tears falling down her cheeks as she glared hatefully at him. "I will not be caged like some docile bird. And while you may want that life—while you may want Graham—I do not!"
A silence fell at her words, at their implication. Draco flushed with embarrassment and was so angry that he couldn't even think straight. All the words that he wanted to scream at her, all the hate and anger couldn't find a voice. He could barely breathe with the emotions so bottled up in him. Everything that had happened this year, all the ways she had let him down, all the broken promises, he wanted her to hurt as she hurt him and before he could stop the impulse he backhanded her across the face. He blinked when she fell to the floor, her hand touching where he had struck her.
Graces lunged for him and soon they were shoving each other and screaming the most terrible things at one another. None of it felt good, but he couldn't seem to stop. With every word and blow his anger and hurt built. It was like a wall was coming down and the stones were falling all around them. He could look up and see the destruction they were to cause, but he couldn't move himself or her out of their way. And he didn't want to for some of them. He hated her for this.
She was threatening him. Threatening their whole family, and Graham! If an investigation came because she said they were trying to force a marriage on her then not only would they have to answer to that, but they would see his Mark, Graham's Mark. She could even single-handedly get them all killed by the Dark Lord. He would wipe the slate to not have to risk them telling any details of his plan.
And she would do all this for a boy. Kill them all after everything they had done to keep her safe. Kill them for a love that honestly should fall short in comparison to the love she was supposed to have for them. No, she would marry Graham and she would do whatever it was she had to do to survive, and while he wouldn't ask her to be thankful he would ask her to not be so bloody stupid!
"Draco, let go! Let go! Draco, let go!" Graham roared, tearing Draco off Graces who now sank to the floor gasping for air and touching the hollow of her throat.
A bolt of shock ran through him. He didn't even know when their fight had gotten so out of hand. He didn't even realize his hands were around her neck. Graham moved as if to check on Graces and then stopped. He glanced at Draco, his horror still apparent, but remained by his side. Clearly not wanting Graces to think he was on anyone's side other than his. Draco wanted to move towards her himself, but he was scared that if he did so he would crumble to the floor in tears as she was now.
And he couldn't cry. No, he couldn't cry because he needed her to understand.
"You're so obsessed with some guy you don't even care what this means. I am telling you to marry Graham, because I am going to die." Draco took a shaking breath. "I have had to comfort our mother this past week. I have had to convince her to not do anything stupid on my behalf, to save me, so that you could have a guarantee of living. Do you have any idea what it is like to have to tell your mother that you are going to be killed? To have to hear those tears. Do you even realize or care that she will be killed too?"
Graces looked up at him from the floor, her lower lip quivering, but she made no sound.
"I didn't realize how much you didn't care for me until this moment. I didn't think that you would dismiss my coming death and focus on some boy. I-I have wanted from the first moment to forgive whatever it was you had done, but now—" Draco shook his head and refocused on the situation.
"You will marry Graham. You will not cause us any trouble and you will make the best of the privileged life we have all given you."
Draco moved to leave, to go and break down somewhere in the castle away from everyone. He hadn't meant to hurt her, he hadn't meant for any of this. He pushed past Graham who tried to follow him, but before he could get away Graces strained voice followed after him.
"No, I will not," she rasped, holding her throat against the pain. He whirled around at her defiance, but Graces ignored his angry expression. "I was always going to die with you," she proclaimed savagely. "I was never going to marry Graham. If you fail, I will follow you. Happily," she added, though her face held no such expression. "I am not meant for this world without you anyways. What I will not do is change how I live what is left of our life. We were born together, we shall die together, but I will live how I wish to."
"What you will do is what you are told!" Draco shouted, not wanting this perverse devotion.
"I will not."
"Graces," Draco growled. "Do not force my hand on this."
"Or what? What will you do?" she whispered, getting up and moving to where he was. "Kill me? That seems counterproductive to your goal. Beat me? Disown me? Make my days miserable so that I fall in line?"
"Don't test me," Draco warned.
"Do what you need to do," Graces challenged, shoving past him for the door. She paused for a brief moment as if she was going to say something, but seemed to think better of it and left. Draco hadn't even realized his heart was hammering wildly in his chest until the room became still. He didn't even know what to do with himself. He wanted to scream and cry and curse. He wanted to run after her and drag her back in with him by her hair if need be and scream at her all night until she understood that she was going to do what he demanded. He also never wanted to see her again.
Draco turned to face Graham. He stood there trying to figure out what to do or say. He was sure Graham knew, knew and politely ignored it all, but nothing had ever been said and now Graces had said something. He swallowed.
"I know that you don't—"
"Shut up, Malfoy," Graham interrupted, moving over to a drawer and pulling out a bottle of whiskey they had there for particularly hard nights. "It's fine."
Graham handed him a glass that was too generously filled and motioned for him to take a sip. Draco did so, more to move past the awkwardness he was feeling. "Your cheek okay?"
"It's fine," Draco lied.
"Doesn't look fine. She scratched you up pretty well." Graham angled his head so he could see the other set that she had clawed down his neck and the broken buttons of his shirt.
"This is already decided," Draco seethed, not wanting to think about his injuries and wanting to discuss the situation at hand. "She can't do this. This was always the agreement. She can't go back on this. I don't care what we have to do, she is going to go along with this."
Graham said nothing, but he had this look to him that let Draco know that he wasn't in agreement. He shifted where he stood and looked off in some corner as if he could see what he needed to say, but didn't know if this was the time.
"What?" Draco demanded darkly.
"I can't marry Graces if she doesn't consent," Graham murmured into his drink.
"You can't be serious. You—she will die, Graham. You understand that right? They will kill her."
Graham swallowed. "It's rape, Draco. She said no. I will not force her. I've done a lot of things I can never take back, but I won't do that."
"Fucking marry her and keep it in your pants then," Draco hissed. "I'm not saying to fuck her, I am saying to marry her and keep her safe."
"It's a violation all the same," Graham whispered. "I won't do that to her. She said no."
"She's only saying no because of some guy. Some guy that—let me remind you—isn't here doing what you are doing now!"
"Because he can't."
The words were right on the tip of his tongue. He looked at Graham and before he could really think it through on whether he wanted to know or not the question came out. "Who is it?"
Graham glanced up at him, as though he were shocked he asked and then clenched his jaw.
"It sounds like Graces was planning on telling you tonight. Like she wants to tell you. I won't take that away from her."
"I don't think we're on speaking terms at the moment," Draco pointed out flatly.
"Still," Graham sighed. "I can't tell you. You have to ask Graces."
Draco pressed his lips together. "But he's pure?"
"Yes."
"Do you like him?"
"Not really."
Draco considered this and then remembered Graham didn't really like anyone. "Do I like him?"
Graham couldn't hide his surprise at the question. "Some days."
"Some days?" Draco repeated flatly. "That's not a bloody answer, Montague."
"Some days you like him, some days you hate him, some days you're neutral," Graham shrugged.
"That's how I am with everyone!" Draco snapped.
Graham just stood there with a sorrowful expression.
"Could he be reasoned with?" Draco asked. "Does he know what is at stake? That if he doesn't break things off he could be killing her? Could I talk with him and would he leave her?"
Graham considered it for a long while. "I-I don't know."
"To which question?"
"All. I honestly couldn't answer any of it."
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL CAN YOU TELL ME?" Draco screamed, throwing a chair across the floor.
Graham flinched, but remained where he was standing. "That you need to talk to Graces. You need to ask her who it is."
Draco swallowed the rage that the truth of those words brought. "I hate her right now," he admitted quietly.
"You don't hate her," Graham sighed. "You love her so much you can barely stand it and you also hurt because she's betrayed you, abandoned you and now is refusing to allow you any relief of her burden. If you hated her you wouldn't care what happened to her."
Draco's throat swelled with emotion and nothing he could do would allow him to swallow it down.
"I'm not going to succeed," he wept. "I am going to die and she's going to die. I don't know what to do. I-I don't know how to make any of this right."
"You can't make something right that wasn't right to begin with," Graham said gently, moving over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "We still have time, Draco. We can still possibly solve this, or perhaps there is another solution."
"If you were me, if Graces was your sister, and you had the knowledge of who it is now. What would you do? Would you allow her this? Support this?"
"No," Graham breathed, closing his eyes. "I wouldn't. I would do exactly what you are doing now."
"Would you have choked her too," Draco asked, all his self loathing coming to light.
Graham swallowed. "I have hurt someone to try and save them, to try to get them to obey me," he admitted. "I brutally attacked them and I've hurt them in other ways since then as well. So, you will have no judgment from me, Draco."
"Did it work? Did they listen?"
"No," Graham said quietly looking down at the floor once again haunted by whatever sins followed him mercilessly.
"What's your secret, Graham?" Draco asked thickly, his voice almost pleading.
"It's best if you don't know."
"I'm a dead man anyways," Draco reminded. "So who's it best for? It would make no difference for me."
Graham's jaw tightened. "I can't tell you Draco."
"Why? Why can't anyone tell me anything? Why is it that everyone in my life keeps secrets from me," Draco rasped, standing up and pacing the space between them. "I don't understand it. I—is it the mark? Am I so changed by it that people are wary?"
"I have the Mark too."
"Then what is it?" Draco exclaimed. "You know everything about me, why can't I know this about you?"
"I don't—" Graham paused and took a breath. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I hurt now not knowing," Draco said, gesturing with his hand at the nothingness in front of him. "I hurt knowing you're hurting and you can't find it in you to confide in me. That you can't trust that I want to be there for you. That I would rather hurt and figure things out with you. And I already explained how I wouldn't hate you, for whatever it is, so why are there secrets between us?"
Draco was a bit surprised to see Graham starting to crumble. To see how his hands covered his face and when they were removed evidence of tears remained.
"I am not just going to let you die, Draco. I am going to try to figure something out. I am. I just need to get some moving parts in order."
"We're not talking about that right now," Draco scowled. "We're—"
"I need you to understand that you may have to carry this," Graham explained.
"Good," Draco nodded, his voice breaking with emotion. "I hope I do get to."
Graham made some noise that was a mix between a cry and a laugh. He shook his head at the blonde and finished off his whiskey, as though the amber liquid was vital in his telling.
"You know Wamil Sunder?"
"The siren?" Draco frowned.
"Yeah," Graham murmured. "That very one. I love her. I didn't know she was a siren until earlier this year, but it doesn't change anything for me. I've been in love with her for years, since second year to be exact."
Draco scowled and then blinked, his mouth open slightly in thought. "You've seen other girls, dated other girls. What—"
"Because I'm pragmatic."
"If you're so pragmatic then what is the issue?" Draco asked carefully.
Graham swallowed. "The issue is I love her and she's going to be hunted down and killed once we have power."
"There has to be more than that. What line did you cross, Graham?" he whispered, as if the castle walls could hear what they were discussing.
"Lines," Graham admitted, his voice shaking. "Just once really. Just once and... and I made it clear nothing else could come from it. Nothing." There was a long, pressing silence. "What are you thinking?"
"That you're an idiot," Draco hissed.
"That's it?"
Draco scoffed. "I thought you were smarter than this," he sneered, his temper slipping slightly. "You slept with her, I'm assuming, whispered that you loved her all night, and then said nothing would come of it? You expect me to believe that?"
"Yes, I do, because that is what happened."
Draco cursed. "That makes no sense. You love her and you're not planning to be with her?"
"I love my family," Graham swore. "My parents, my sisters and their children. You don't think I would sell my happiness for them?"
"It's not just your happiness. It's hers too, and you've already shown you can't think rationally when it comes to her, or you wouldn't have crossed the line to begin with!" Draco snapped, slamming his barely drunk glass on a stool so the liquid went up on his sleeves.
"It's their lives," Graham reminded. "Trading two peoples happiness for lives. You think I would do anything to jeopardize not being able to keep my promise to you? That I would run off with her and not be able to safeguard Graces for you?"
"Her life is in danger," Draco pointed out. "How long can you stay here knowing that?"
"I am here now!" Graham exclaimed. "Now! I have told her my choice is made and that I will not betray my family and you."
"Me? You told her about me? Does she know we're Death Eaters?"
"She knows I am a Death Eater and she knows I am planning to marry Graces, to keep her safe. She does not know about you."
"Oh, that's grand," Draco stated ironically. "Just grand."
"Pragmatic," Draco muttered under his breath. "If you were pragmatic she would have no idea what you were! Sorry, but you're in love. Obviously it's important to tell the woman you love that you're one of the people that's fighting against her. I'm sure that went over well, well it must have since you "crossed a line" and you clearly draw a line at rape so she must have consented to whatever line you crossed and thus not cared too damn much about the markings on your arm!"
"And if she tells anyone that you're a Death Eater, it won't be long before they find out I am as well. Especially with Potter constantly up my arse," Draco continued through gritted teeth. "We're so fucked."
"If she was going to say something she would have by now," Graham muttered.
"No, no, you don't get to talk right now," Draco spat. "You just... just bloody sit there while I process your stupidity."
Draco ran a hand through his hair and tried to remember every possible interaction he had seen regarding the siren. He cringed as he remembered her scratching Graham's face, the ease of her transformation. She could kill them, spell them—
"What are you going to do?" Graham asked, apparently unable to sit in the quiet.
Draco's face twisted. "Nothing," he cursed, looking up at the ceiling. "You heard Graces. You know how I feel. I won't do anything, I can't. You're safe, your secret's safe, she's safe."
"That doesn't mean you have to help me," Graham pointed out. "I won't take your money. I—"
"Fuck you," Draco hissed. "You will take the money. I am assuming you are going to use it to get her somewhere safe?"
Graham nodded.
"Good," Draco nodded. "Do that, get her somewhere safe, I don't want to know any details, and you walk away, Graham. Be done. Get her safe, so you don't do anything stupid like run to her rescue if you find out something is happening, and be done."
Graham hesitated and Draco glared at him waiting for what it was he was holding back.
"I tried to get her to go before and she refused. I don't know how to get her to go."
"You need to figure that out," Draco ordered. "Because you will not be able to stop yourself from doing something stupid if she is in danger, and I won't be able to stop myself from doing something stupid if you are. So figure out how to get her to leave for both our sakes."
There was more. Draco could tell there was more. He also didn't think he could take any more. What else could there possibly be? How did he not notice this? Was Graham lying when he said it was once, that he crossed that line once? Was he in a relationship with this... this—
"A bloody siren," he muttered under his breath.
"Can you stop calling her that?"
"That's what she is."
"Yes, but the way you say it is dehumanizing."
"That would make sense, because she's not a human," Draco pointed out condescendingly. "We are not of the same species." Graham opened his mouth to argue and Draco glowered at him. "You better not be opening your mouth to argue with me on whether or not your little girlfriend, who I saw transform when she cut up your face, is human," he said darkly.
Graham had a flash of defiance, before seeming to think better and nodding.
"The only words I better hear out of you is thank you or I'm sorry."
"Thank you," Graham murmured sincerely. "And I am sorry. I really am. I wish to the gods I didn't feel this way."
Draco looked over at his friend sitting next to him so broken and defeated. He thought about what helping him had meant this year, how in helping him he was in an odd way paving the way for this girl to die. And he had done it for him, maybe there were other reasons, his need to do well for the Dark Lord, but he had done it for him as well. And he had stood here tonight ready to follow through on his promises to him and marry his sister, giving up any chance of being with Wamil.
"It's going to be okay," he swore, putting an arm around him.
"You don't know that," Graham breathed.
"You are going to get her out of here, somewhere no one could find her, she will have a fortune to build herself a happy little life, and you will keep far, far away from her. And she will be fine and your family will be fine. And no one will ever find out so you will be fine," Draco nodded simply, mapping the plan in his head as he spoke it. "Everything is going to be fine," he whispered, more to assure himself than anyone else.
Everyone was going to be fine except for him.
"You're going to be fine too," Graham said, as if reading his mind.
"Don't lie to me now, Montague."
"Draco," Graham said, drawing the other boy's attention to him. "I do have an idea."
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Neville had thought that asking Harry to see his map would have helped him feel better about Graces talking to Draco, but when he couldn't find either of them on the map it had the opposite effect.
"I-I don't understand," Neville stammered, trying his best to calm down, but feeling as though he were about to lose his mind. "What does that mean? That she's not on the map?"
Harry's mouth twisted. "That she isn't on the grounds."
"Why would she be off the grounds?" Neville demanded, as if Harry would have an answer.
Harry shifted nervously. "I don't know. Earlier this year when I was watching Draco on the map he would disappear a lot."
Neville scowled. He remembered Harry mentioning that a while ago. When Graces had breakfast with them, he had demanded to know where they were going and she had lied and said to be with Octavian. But she wouldn't have left now would she? No, not when they were fighting. She had even mentioned it wasn't safe for her and Draco to leave the grounds to him once, that it was best to stay at Hogwarts where they were protected.
"Neville," Harry started cautiously. "Is-is there a reason why you're spying on Graces right now?"
The word caused his cheeks to burn. Spying. Was that what he was doing? Spying on his girlfriend? He had thought of it more as just checking on her, making sure she was okay, but he supposed it was spying.
"We, erm, had a pretty bad row earlier… And I'm a bit worried about her."
"Why?"
Neville shrugged, before murmuring quietly. "Cause I'm always worried about her."
Harry was silent for a moment before mentioning that he's never asked for the map before. Neville looked away unsure of what to say. He didn't know if he should tell Harry, not when Graces was so private regarding her brother. At the same time he didn't think this was something he needed to hide. Graces was telling Draco so everyone would know soon how he took that news. He bit his lip, Harry wasn't the most rational person when it came to Draco, he needed to factor that in as well.
"Let's get some air," Harry suggested, gesturing to the door. "It's not curfew yet."
Neville opened his mouth to protest, but Harry gave him a look that told him he would accept no other answer. He followed Harry out of the castle silently. He tried to dig up his original feelings regarding Draco, remembering all the love that the other boy had for her, but he also couldn't get it out of his head that if he was wrong the consequences were dire. And he really was always the optimist. He always wanted to believe people were good, something that he had liked about himself before, but now… Now that was a stupid mentality. A mentality he didn't think he should hold onto.
That mentality is the only reason you love Graces now, a voice from inside reminded him.
"Do... do you believe that people are good? I mean, for the most part."
Harry appeared caught off guard by the question. He cleared his throat and then bobbed his head unsurely. "I don't know," he admitted, staring out over the grounds.
It was quiet now, most of the school choosing to be in the common rooms or if they had to be anywhere in the library. The air was chilly and darkness had started to creep along the grounds, the faint hew of the sun lost to the hew of the moon.
"I want to believe people are good," Neville whispered, his tone begging. "That they may be misguided, but they're good. That there are things about being human that overpower the things that can turn us into monsters. We're all human and we make mistakes, but I feel like there is so much more to our humanity and those things are what I like to believe makes us good. And that the people who aren't aren't because other people or other forces took that humanity. They were good, but the world changed them."
Harry was silent for a long while before asking who it was that Neville wanted to be good.
Neville looked over at his friend and realized Harry knew exactly who he was thinking about. Draco seemed to loom heavily in the air between them. And the more Neville thought about it the more he realized that Draco was this heavy figure between him and Graces as well, between Graces and McGonagall. No one was ready to ask the question that needed to be asked.
"Some days I know in my bones that Draco is good. That he loves more than he hates," Neville murmured, thinking of all that he had seen of the blonde.
"And today?" Harry asked.
"Today Graces is planning on telling him about us and I am worried that it's the wrong decision and that my naive beliefs on people will get her killed. That I put stupid ideas in her head that made her believe she would be safe."
Harry was silent as he considered this. "Why didn't you go with her?"
Neville bristled slightly at Harry's words, he heard the undertone 'you should have gone with her'.
"She wouldn't allow it. That's why we fought."
"I would have given you my cloak," Harry whispered, looking out. "She wouldn't have known and she would have been safe."
A small smile twisted the ends of his lips. "Your cloak is useless with Graces. She recently had her eye spelled. She can see those things."
"What? Really?"
Neville nodded. "Yeah, she had to wait til she had better control over the eye. Now that she does, she had that feature added." Harry frowned at this new piece of information. "Point is if I used your cloak she would definitely not be pleased."
"I am glad you want her to be safe, though," Neville added, letting that small smile grow a bit more.
"What? What's that smile for?" Harry asked, perplexed.
"She's grown on you. You care," Neville clarified.
"Of course I care," Harry whispered. "How could I not care?"
"I think there was definitely a time you didn't care if she was well," Neville reminded, looking over at the other boy seriously.
Harry's mouth pressed together tightly, but he didn't argue that truth. "I care now," he murmured, looking down at the map. "I still don't see—ait, Neville, look. She's over by the Quidditch lockers," Harry frowned.
Neville moved closer and saw Graces' name on the map. Her name alone, no Draco. He stared at it, watching it as it bobbed on the map. It didn't make sense why she was there. Of all the places she could go to, she went to the Quidditch lockers?
He moved to head that way, Harry's hand on his arm stopping him. "Take the cloak," he instructed. "I want it back tomorrow morning and details."
Neville nodded and then hurried over to where the quidditch pitch was. The lawn was soaked from a rain he hadn't even noticed earlier and by the time he made it to the lockers his shoes were covered in grass and mud.
"Graces?"
He heard a glass break from somewhere in the darkness. He called out again, entering further into the Slytherin locker room, but not seeing her. There was no light and his heart pounded as he rushed through to find where that noise came from, to find her. He turned the corner to the bathroom, the glass he heard earlier scratching the tile beneath his shoes.
Graces braced a hand against the sink as Neville stared at her from the entrance. She watched as he took in her bruised cheek, her bloody lip and did her best to not flinch as his eyes fell onto her neck. He moved forward.
"There's glass," she warned, gesturing to the jar of bruise salve she had dropped when Neville's voice startled her.
"I don't give a damn about glass," Neville hissed furiously, moving over to her to get a better look at her injuries.
"It's fine," she dismissed, shoving his hand away from a bruise on her neck. "I'm fine."
Neville glared. "Nothing about this is fine," he said through clenched teeth. She flushed, but held her ground. She wouldn't argue this, she let her silence speak for her. Neville surveyed the first aid kit she had laid out on the sink. "You weren't even going to tell me, were you?"
"Of course I was going to tell you," she sighed, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.
Neville scoffed and grabbed the first aid kit she had been using. "Tell me, but hide how bad it actually was."
"Neville," Graces pleaded.
She flinched as he threw the kit down on the ground, all his frustration coming to the surface. He paced the area before her, his hands shaking as he tried to take deep calming breaths.
"I was going to tell you," she swore, ignoring the distrustful glare Neville shot at her. "But I wasn't going to not take care of myself just so you could see."
"I should have been there!" Neville snapped, turning a demanding finger on her. "I should have been there! And if I was there then—" Neville stopped and shook his head.
"I didn't tell Draco," Graces admitted, breaking the heavy silence. "This had nothing to do with you."
"What?"
"I didn't tell him, I didn't get the chance."
"You didn't tell him?"
"No."
"Then why the hell does your neck look like that? Why is your lip split? Why—"
"Draco wants me to marry Graham," Graces began softly. "And I refused."
She turned away from the horrified look that had taken over Neville's face. The look that confirmed how bad this all was, how unforgivable it— No it wasn't unforgivable, because she had already forgiven. She swallowed, the action causing pain in the front of her neck where Draco's thumbs had pressed against her. She considered the pain, the brutality and asked herself again if this was forgiven and something deep within her said it was. This was more than just an act of brutality, it was an act of desperation.
"We need to go see Professor McGonagall and—"
"No."
"What do you mean no," Neville hissed in a way that let her know he realized the exact reason why. "You can't be serious, Graces. You're still going to protect him? After—"
"Let me make this clear, I would choose to protect Draco with my dying breath. If he is the one to cause then so be it."
"Well, then that's your choice," Neville said darkly.
"That is our choice," Graces retorted firmly. "Ours. You love me; you love Draco. That's the deal."
Neville shook his head. "I can love him and you and not allow this. Not allow—"
"You don't understand," Graces shook. "He's desperate and just trying to save me. He—"
"Look at your face! Look at your neck!" Neville demanded, viciously turning her towards the mirror and forcing her to look. "Don't you dare tell me that this was to save you."
"It was!" Graces screamed, ripping away from him. "It was! He's doing his best. He wasn't all there, Neville! It was like me the other day with Hermione, he—"
"No. No, this isn't the same, Graces. This—"
"You have no idea what he's going through. He thinks he's going to die. He can't kill Dumbledore. He knows now that he is at a dead end and he thinks he is going to die. All he is doing with his last days is trying to save me, trying to—"
"No, no you will not defend this! You are not going to stand there and tell me that this is justifiable! And if things are that bad then it's time to tell an adult!"
Neville moved to the doorway and realized Neville was going to tell someone now. She lunged in front of him blocking his way out.
"You can't!"
"I can and I am," Neville swore, his anger still right there on the service.
"No, you won't because I will not let you."
Graces nostrils flared as she held her ground. Neville moved closer, so close she could feel the heat radiating off his chest and she was forced to look up in order to meet his eyes.
"You will not intimidate me," she seethed.
Neville blinked. "I am not trying to intimidate you."
"There's only one reason men stand this close and look down the way you are now. You're reminding me if I don't move you will move me."
Neville's brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to protest and then shut it. He let out some noise of frustration and then moved away.
"You cannot bind me like this!" he cursed angrily and wearily.
Graces swallowed the emotion welling up in her. "Oh, my love, you're already bound," she whispered, her voice trembling despite her stance remaining strong. "We all are. Draco is bound to family and duty, intertwined around me with a love and bond that will never be able to be broken. And I am bound to him in the same manner." She bit her lip to keep her tears at bay, but they fell silently anyway. "And I am bound to you with love and passion that I could never give up, as you are to me. And that bond that binds you to me binds you to Draco, because he is rooted in me."
She knew Neville would agree, she knew by the way a sob broke from him at her words.
"I have made so many concessions," he begged. "Don't ask me this, Graces. Please."
"What are you going to do? Go to McGonagall so that my brother is hauled away somewhere he can't hurt me? Have him taken away before I can tell him about us, before he has the choice to switch sides?"
"He has that choice; he always had that choice!"
Graces just shook her head. "Draco never had a choice."
"Graces—"
"It was his family, Neville. It was our mother, our father and me. What wouldn't you do to keep me alive?"
Neville's face crumbled and she could tell by the look in his eyes that he could not even bear the thought.
"Draco will not let this go, Graces. He won't, especially if he's as desperate and hopeless as you say. So he will either force this or hurt you more and—"
"That won't happen. He doesn't know about you, but I said I was in love and I made it very clear that if he moved against me I would move against him."
"What does that even mean?" Neville cried out in frustration.
"Trust me Neville, he will not force this."
"He can still hurt you," Neville pointed out.
"No, you didn't see his face. He will not," Graces swore, knowing it in her bones to be true. "And I plan on keeping my distance anyways. I am angry, Neville, but I'm mostly hurt. In my soul, I hurt. Do not let this be it for me and Draco. Do not tell, give me a chance to do this my way. Let me stand my ground against him until he's willing to listen to me and when that time comes he will listen. I know he will."
"I can't be okay with this," Neville cried, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can't live like this, Graces. I can't carry this constant feeling of worry and apprehension. If this continues it will consume me. Do you understand? I will be in a constant state of worry about you. I can barely sleep now as it is and now I am going to be wondering in bed every night if you will show up for breakfast or if Draco will—"
"I will be with you every night," Graces swore. "You will sleep fine because I will be beside you and in the morning I will be in the Great Hall for breakfast where you can see me and then again at lunch. Dinners will be there or with you and McGonagall and after that we will be alone, you and me."
Neville looked about unsurely. "We agreed that—"
"Things change, Neville," Graces shushed, moving closer and pressing her hand against his cheek.
"It's not enough," Neville swallowed, gently pulling her hand away. "I want you safe. Completely safe."
"Even if you tell someone about Draco I will not be safe," Graces reminded, unable to stop her frown as she wondered if Neville understood that, if he was living in some delusion that the adults would be able to keep her perfectly safe.
"Then tell me what I need to do to make it enough and I will. Tell me what to do and it will be done," he swore venomously.
"Love and trust me," Graces begged. "A little longer, trust me. Draco is at a dead end. Dumbledore and everyone is safe, I am going to tell him. When things calm down, when he is more himself he will apologize and when he does I will tell him everything."
The Gryffindor didn't say whether or not he agreed. He pulled her into him and held her tightly to his chest before murmuring something about getting her cleaned up. She said nothing as he cleaned up the jar she had dropped earlier, before rummaging through other Slytherin's lockers and finding another one. She sat in tense silence as he focused on the bruising around her neck gently dabbing the salve to heal them.
"With me."
"What?"
Neville looked up at her from where he was kneeling. "You will tell him with me."
"Okay."
Neville looked as though he were waiting for an argument, for her to say something more and when nothing came he let out a long sigh.
"Tea?"
Graces brow raised. "Tea?"
"I suspect there's more to what happened. Why don't we sneak away to our room and you tell me about it over some tea." Neville busied his hands with another bit of solve and muttered something about tea making things feel better under his breath.
"Are you still mad?"
"Madly in love with you."
"No pretty words, Neville. Are you mad?"
Neville pressed his lips together before kissing her gently on her knuckles. "Things to discuss over tea."
Don't forget to follow/ review! Sorry, it wasn't the reveal you all were hoping for, but trust me when I say what I have planned for Draco finding out is way better and it is coming up!