File:ReplacamentJounal

Entry: . . . . no wonder I didn't remember.

No wonder I ran away.

I'm amazed that I managed to escape.

And . . . I don't even want to think it.

That dream was true.

According to the news network -- they have video, but I can't make myself watch it -- I killed Rife. On the bridge of the Massive. In front of the Tallest.

I've been labeled a psychopath, a murderer. Some of the people I worked with got interviewed, and one of them even compared me to Sideos.

. . . if what I dreamed was accurate, I think I might agree.

Memory download: The voice

"Don't be so quick to claim that honor for yourself. It's mine."

"What?" I look around, but no one's there. "Shade?"

"Right on the first guess."

"Where are you?"

"You haven't figured out yet? What is it that human said, 'The impossible and probable is better than the possible and improbable,' right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Let me know when you've got it figured out."

Okay . . . the tattoo. It's not possible that I could have been at that shop, but it's less probable that someone else would have WhiteX and take the trouble to tattoo my arm here. It's not very probable that Shade could have avoided me all this time. It's also not very probable that I suddenly need to sleep a lot. And that photo of Shade they showed . . . looked like a human version of me.

"You are Irken, right?"

"Only as Irken as you," she replies with a nasty chuckle. Then I recognize the voice.

"You killed Rife. It was you talking in my dream."

"And another point for you."

"But . . . they all think I did it. You ruined my life!"

"Minus five. You were doing well until you said that."

"But if you killed him, it couldn't have been me!"

"You're ignoring all the evidence. And besides, think about what happened at that point. You had two options: push him away and keep your job, or fall into his arms and be declared a defective. What did you choose?"

"Neither. I couldn't make that decision."

"What would you choose now?"

"I just want him back."

"Because you are our weak side."

"What?"

"Isn't it obvious by now? Two minds, one body. You haven't been truly sleeping; you're just unconscious while I'm in charge. I'm the one that got us out of the Massive and brought us here."

"So what are you, a PAK virus?"

"No, you idiot. Haven't you noticed? Your tolerance of violence, your discipline, your ingenuity and desire for power have all been practically nonexistant since that day.Those aspects of our mind became me. Shade, the truly Irken part of you. I've always been around; it just took the conflict of a lifetime to fully separate me from you, much like it takes electricity to separate the hydrogen and oxygen that bond together to make water."

"So what does this mean?" I ask guardedly.

"It means," Shade says with a smile in her voice, "that without me, you're a defective. You can't go back; they'll kill you. But I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life because of you. You've casued me enough trouble already."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

She snarls, her already chilling voice becoming even more venomous."I'm declaring my independence from you, little emo bug. I don't have the resources here to separate myself from you physically, unless you know some things I don't." She gives a short, sarcastic laugh. "Of course, seeing as I've got access to all your memories, that's unlikely. Anyway, as long as you let me run things, I'll consider separating us once I've re-established my position in the Empire. If you resist, I'll make you more miserable than you can imagine."

"I know all your tricks, Shade. They're mine too."

"You only think that. You always hated our job; I'm the one who enjoyed it. And besides, I was always an innovator. You used to know everything I thought, but it's a one-way view now, bug. I've got all the aces, and I can see all your cards. Give up before I decide to destroy you completely."

No matter how I look at it, she's right, at least for now. Maybe I can find a way to get rid of her eventually, but at the moment, I have no real choice.

So . . . this is the end of my life.

It's not over yet. The sequel is called "Command Not Recognized", and I hope to have it up pretty soon . . . after I write the bits my coauthor is waiting so patiently for. (you've gotta yell at me more, Brit-boy, if you want things to get done!)