Rafisol contemplates her existence when Sig comes across her and confronts his own peculiarities. Requested by warelander on tumblr!

What Makes You

She found herself quite confusing.

Rafisol understood that she was a being of darkness. Born in an inverted crystal, she knew she was warped from the moment of her conception. Craving love while claiming to detest it, she was a being of contradictions and uncertainty.

This, naturally, led her to dig her uneven fingernails into her palms. Her mind was always filled with hesitation and contempt. Pure thoughts tried swirling in her mind, but her soul rejected them each and every time. She tried seeking power for the sake of cementing her existence all while silently crying out to be loved in return, to escape the shackles of her self-imposed contempt.

The snow fell from the gray sky and peppered her bright blue hair. Rafisol gazed down at the deep water surrounding Blueo Village. The waves gently crashed against the icy formations of the quaint town connected by wooden bridges. As a chill raced up her arms, she gripped the sturdy, rugged ropeway and peered down at her nonplussed reflection that failed to mimic her cheerful double.

Rafisol let the waves overpower her sense. It was better listening to the crashing water than be alone with her thoughts. She was bound to run herself ragged trying to understand the purpose and futility of her existence. Allowing herself the gentle distraction of the frigid sea made her lips quirk into a faint grin.

Having time away from Ally and the others let her explore what she wanted to do, but she still couldn't decide on what that would be. She remembered talking with Carbuncle about how to help others and how to have fun with Ally. They had set her on a positive track, but self-doubt gnawed at her belly as she wondered what exactly she was supposed to do.

A ladybug landed on her shoulder as she furrowed her brow. Snapping her head up, Rafisol straightened and watched the ladybug take flight once more. She hesitantly raised her hand and offered her finger. It lingered, hovering as if planning to land, but it took off behind her and perched on a pointed, scarlet claw.

She blinked. Seeing a normal human with a claw was certainly not beyond her scope of understanding, but it was still strange. She struggled to remember his name. Considering she had met a plethora of Ally's companions in such a short span of time, she still felt a twinge of shame for not recalling his name right away.

"Sig," he said, approaching her.

She flicked her head up. "What?"

"Sig. That's my name." He cupped his hand and let his ladybug rest in his palm. "You looked like you didn't remember. I figured I'd just tell you."

A hint of pink scorched her cheeks. "Oh, sorry. It slipped my mind."

He shrugged. Instead of simply stepping past her, he took a spot by her on the bridge. He felt himself sway a bit as the bridge settled to their added weight.

"You feeling bad?" He set his ladybug on his shoulder.

She huffed out a sigh. "Is it that obvious?"

Sig nodded. "I've seen that faraway look in Amitie's eyes before when she's worried about stuff."

Being compared with Amitie almost made her snort. She knew she was nothing like that jolly, happy-go-lucky girl and spat, "You wouldn't mind being troubled by the concerns of someone you don't really know?"

"Yeah."

His simple answer caused Rafisol's jaw to drop. She quickly composed herself, clearing her throat and shaking her head. As snowflakes melted in her hair, she rubbed her neck. Having someone genuinely interested in her without a shred of betrayal left her on edge.

"Well, you know what I...did." Bitterness coated her tongue as she reflected on what she had done to Ally. "I'm still not sure what I should be doing. Rather, I'm not sure what I must do."

Sig ran his thumb along the round belly of his ladybug. "Hm...is there anything you think you wanna do?"

She pursed her lips. "I'm unsure. I've been given a life that is now my own. I've been told that I don't have to stay as a being of darkness, but even now, I'm not sure why I was born. What is my purpose? What am I meant to do?"

She felt like she was speaking with the wind, and her questions were carried by an icy breeze. Conflicting heat bloomed in her cheeks. Brazenly and openly, she was spilling her feelings to someone she hardly knew. It was enough to leave her too vulnerable for her liking, and she bowed her head, trying to think of an excuse to leave.

"You know, I don't know why I'm here either."

Rafisol drew in a breath. "What do you mean?"

He raised his crimson arm. She could sense a faint power emanating from it like a warm aura. Pinching his forefinger and thumb together, he raised them together by his red eye. "I was born like this, too, with these weird parts on me." He lowered his arm and pressed his palms together, letting his ladybug sneak by and perch in his hair. "It's weird. It's a weird feeling that doesn't really go away."

She knew painfully well what he meant and closed her eyes. "Contradictions born from contradictions."

"But it's okay, I think." Sig scooped his ladybug up with his claw and set it on Rafisol's shoulder. "I have friends who like me, and there's people who like you. Right now…" He smiled, all signs of weariness replaced with certainty. "...that's what matters. Friends help friends when they're down, right?" He paused and glanced at the sky. "That's what Amitie says anyway, and I think she's right."

"Even if you're…" She trailed off, the question sounding too cruel in her throat.

"Like this?" Sig waved his demonic arm. "Part human, part demon? Not really knowing why I'm like this?"

Rafisol swallowed. It sounded much more unsparingly mean when he said it about himself.

"Well, yeah. It's weird, but it's okay. There's things I still hafta learn about myself." Sig shrugged. "That's why I'm lucky to have Amitie and Glasses and the rest of 'em. They make me happy. You do, too."

When he pointed at her, Rafisol's heart skipped a beat. She cleared her throat, her tense shoulder causing the ladybug to flee back to Sig's scalp.

"You-you don't know me that well. We aren't exactly friends or even...associates?" Her own uncertainty kept the heat burning in her cheeks.

"Doesn't matter."

"Sh-shouldn't it matter?" she blurted, her composure thoroughly lost.

Humming, Sig leaned back on his heels. "Nope." Turning to her, he cupped his ladybug and held it to his chest. "'Sides, even though there are times when I feel lonely about myself, now I know there's someone who kinda feels the same. It's a nice feeling."

Sig let his mouth crease into a warm grin. When he had come across Rafisol looking so contemplative and hurt on the bridge, he knew what she felt right away. It was one expression that had crossed his face too many times when he was twisting in the cold, dark blanket of night.

He still lacked so much knowledge about himself. It was enough to keep him feeling distant from his friends, all of them perfectly normal. He was the outlier, a boy with demonic heritage and no one else to really understand him. His experience with Strange Klug, his supposed 'other half,' left him rattled and forced him to put those uncertainties away, springing into a near obsession with bugs.

Yet, he was simply hiding. He was running away from himself and could never escape. His arm and eye were proofs of a demon's heritage running freely in his blood. He could only say he was looking for bugs so often when the others found himself alone with a frightened glint in his eyes.

Still, it was nice having someone who understood. Rafisol knew very well what it was like to be so uncertain about herself all because of her heritage. It was a commonality they shared, one that made Sig feel right at home with her.

"You wanna go into town together?" Sig offered his claw. "We can talk more since it's kinda cold out here."

Rafisol became acutely aware of Sig's attire. A simple cotton shirt was nothing to protect him from the chilly weather. He had comforted her while caring little for himself against the elements.

Slowly nodding, she slipped her hand into his claw and found herself much warmer than before. Settling into a matching smile, she said, "Yes, I'd like that very much."