Her Gift – Her Curse
A/N: As I said before, this is A/U, so yeah, sorry if I didn't make that clear before. Thank you's at the bottom.
-×Chapter Two×-
The day had passed quickly for me. I'd been buried under homework again, and even after I'd finished all of them and double, triple checked through, I'd continued to write more, just to try and get better marks, and also for something to do. All day I'd been thinking about James. I really couldn't stop thinking about him…how close I'd been to him this morning. I could still smell his scent somewhere in my mind…or maybe it'd been that he had chosen to sit next to me in literally every class we were in. I could hardly concentrate, my heart had been pounding so much I thought it might just burst any second, but I wouldn't let myself get distracted.
He'd conversed with me many times, and I'd basically ignored him, giving him only one word answers. I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of my work, or in the way of my seeing. I still carried the weight of that on my shoulders. My mind hoped he would leave me alone, so I wouldn't give in to temptation and just spill out my heart to him or something, but my heart was crying out for him to stay… and he did. I didn't want it though. I was scared. I'd never been so scared in my life, not even when I was 'dreaming'.
I was so scared that I might truly fall for him. He had acted like a gentleman all day, following me, carrying my books for me. Whatever you named, he did. At one stage, he was being so kind that I'd almost cried knowing I could never return the kindness. I'd have to act cold towards him, to get him to dislike me, to get him to hate me. I couldn't bear hurting him, dragging him down with my pain. It wouldn't happen. I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't understand why he was being so nice to me. I didn't understand why he suddenly was being so courteous to me, me, the one that he'd never even knew walked this planet until the beginning of the year. Maybe it was because I was Head Girl, and he was just being polite, but if that was it, I'd rather not be Head Girl. I'd rather just stare at him from afar, like I had for the past six years.
The day went by so slowly I thought I'd die if it carried on any longer, but when the bell signalled the last of the lessons, I couldn't help but sigh with relief. I'd be away from James, and he couldn't tempt me any longer. I was rushing to get out, when I heard his familiar voice call out to me again, "Don't forget our first prefects meeting tonight!"
I thought my heart had stopped. More of seeing James? I didn't know if I could take it any longer. As I hurriedly walked out of class, I was sure I heard some voices snicker, but I put that behind me, because that's where James was – behind me, and I couldn't face him again. One moment longer and I thought I might have just broken down knowing he was so near, yet so far. Knowing that I couldn't have him, because of my 'gift'. I couldn't have anyone. I couldn't risk putting them in danger. It would be worse to put those I love in danger, than have people I love.
Sirius was shaking his head and grinning wildly as he placed a hand on James's shoulder. "Somehow, I don't think she's quite as smitten with you as you… portrayed her to be?"
James scowled. He had been putting on the infamous Potter charm all day that all girls dropped dead for. What was her problem? Why didn't she fall for it? He growled in annoyance, and stalked off.
Remus and the chubby person, Peter Pettigrew, joined Sirius. Remus was grinning. "You're right, Sirius. Maybe the Evans girl is smart enough not to fall for James."
"Of course, Remus," Sirius turned to face one of his best friends, and put on a cocky grin. "I'm always right."
Remus merely snorted, shook his head and rolled his eyes at him. Pettigrew stayed silent as he watched them laughing. He looked thoughtful, which wasn't a sight you'd see every day.
I glared at my clock on the wall. 7:25, it read. I'd been glaring at it for the past 25 minutes, wishing it would maybe magically combust, then I'd have an excuse for missing the prefects meeting, but, alas, no avail. The meeting would start in five minutes sharp. I sighed, and walked to my door. As I turned the handle and opened it, I almost died of a heart attack. Not only was James there looking more handsome than I'd ever seen him, but the shock that he was there and I wasn't expecting was enough to give anyone a heart attack. It was almost as if he had hidden behind a wall, and jumped out yelling "BOO!" when I least expected it.
"Care to let me escort you, oh fair lady?" he asked, lifting an arm. My heart was jumping up my throat. I couldn't take his arm, but I wanted to so badly…and… I didn't want to be rude, so I hooked mine through his, and we walked down the corridor to the meeting room. Heads turned as we walked. Many girls short poisonous glares my way, but some guys wolf-whistled. I couldn't understand why they were wolf-whistling… or what they were wolf-whistling about…
I looked up at James, and he was smirking.
-×-
"Um… hi, everyone…" I began. I couldn't think what to say. I'd never been good with people, or at speeches. They were too public, and I wasn't that kind of girl. The walk to the room took what seemed like years, but it was probably only minutes. Outside, he had held open the door for me, and allowed me to walk in before he did, courting me like a true gentleman. I didn't know what to think. Thank goodness the first two prefects arrived only two minutes after we got there – not nearly long enough for James to attempt to engage me in conversation again.
By the end, I was so surprised I'd actually managed to talk in front of more than one person, let alone eight prefects, and the man of my dreams, and manage to sort out the wispy outlines of a Halloween masked ball. I felt utterly proud of myself as everyone waved 'bye' to me and left, but then, as I turned to leave, James called to me once again. I turned around, and he was there, right beside me. I couldn't breathe. He was so close to me. Closer than anyone had ever been before, and I was close to him. It was all too much for me.
"Hey…" he whispered. His breath was tickling my neck. I shivered involuntarily. "I guess you're not the shy, quiet Evans I'd known you to be for so long after all, are you?"
Known for so long? What did he mean by that? How long had he known me? But he was too close. I couldn't think any longer. I saw him leaning down. His eyes were closed, and he was leaning closer…
I pulled away. This couldn't happen to me. I couldn't allow this to happen. I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could take me back to the Head Girl's dorm. I slammed the door shut, and collapsed at the foot of it. My heart was still pounding – worse than before in fact. I cried. I cried softly, but I cried my heart out. For the first time in six years, I'd known what it felt like to be heart-broken, and it was my fault I was heart-broken.
I couldn't allow him to kiss me. It would be giving up all that I believed in, all that I was told. I couldn't let anyone close to me, especially not James, for I cared about him more than I did myself. Why couldn't he have been any other boy? That I could have turned down easily? That my heart wasn't screaming out for? It would have been so much simpler that way. I would have just left and deserted him like I had everyone else who had tried to come near me and become my friend.
I couldn't let them become my friend. I hated my 'gift'. I wished more than anything to be rid of it, or that it wouldn't have happened to me in the first place, then, maybe I could make friends and not feel guilty. Maybe then, I could love and feel peace at the same time. Maybe then, I could be with James and be happy. But I couldn't.
I couldn't let him get hurt because of me, but I had a sinking suspicion I already had, yet a part of me feels like it's not that simple. Maybe there's a reason behind why he's been acting weird, then suddenly trying to kiss me. Maybe it wasn't the same reason that I had wanted to kiss him so badly. Maybe it didn't come from the heart.
I couldn't sleep. I lay on my bed for half an hour, thinking about today. James had become so nice to me so fast. What was going on?
James stormed into the Gryffindor boy's dorm room, only to be greeted by sly grins and widened eyes.
"James, how'd it go?" Remus was the first to speak, but when he saw James's frown, his expression changed to worry. "What happened?"
"Yeah, tell us, Prongs! Did you kiss?" Sirius asked, not quite catching on to James's upturned smile. Remus glared at him to shut him up, but Sirius didn't catch that either.
James wasn't in the mood for any of this, especially not Sirius's taunting if he knew what truly happened. "Get lost." He hissed as he pulled his hangings tightly shut, and magically produced a 'Do NOT Disturb' sign in front of his four poster.
Remus and Sirius shrugged to each other. Pettigrew looked even deeper in thought. James was furious. How could a girl resist him? Him? His Potter charm? What was happening? Was he losing his touch? Or was Evans just purely insane? Yeah. That was it. That had to be it. Trust Dumbledore to pick an insane Head Girl. He'd get her tomorrow. She couldn't be that hard to get to.
James smirked to himself. A plan was already formulating in his mind, and it involved his three best friends… if this prank was to be completed, they were required to help, and he knew they would. It couldn't go wrong.
-×-
A/N: Oh my goodness… I posted this fic, and then went off for a walk… an hour later, I discovered I had SIX reviews… SIX REVIEWS!!! Do you guys know how much that means to me?! I was ecstatic – I seriously was. Annie (midnightprowler) can prove this 'cause I called her up and was (literally) screaming down the phone, 'OMG I GOT SIX REVIEWS!!! SIX REVIEWS IN ONLY ONE HOUR!!!' then, when I checked back later, I saw I had TWENTY-SIX reviews!!! My jaw had dropped and I almost fell off my chair! This is the most number of reviews I'd EVER had for one chapter in my history of writing!!! Not to mention the fastest amount of time that the reviews have been coming!!! – I want to thank you guys SO much!!! THANKYOU!!! And to show my gratitude, I will write thanks to all of them personally (which I don't usually do)! Remember: the longer the review, the longer the thanks…'cause there's more to say. Haha.
Midnightprowler – yeah, first reviewer, but only because I told you about it as SOON as I posted it! My chapter lengths are getting better too? Why, thank you!
A Harry and Ginny Dreamer – no, the review didn't make me happy, it made me ecstatic, it seriously did! I'm glad I live up to the standard you're expecting! And being only the second L/J fic that you've read, you truly make me feel honoured! Thank you so much!
Hc – thank you! To be honest, I'm weird myself, so yeah! Haha.
Laura – yeah, I know what you mean! But the interesting thing is: I've actually written the ending!!! Now all I have to do is write the rest! Haha. I've got my plot worked out and everything! I just have to write it! (Weird, aren't I?) About the complaint: yes, he did, but this is A/U…sorry!
Missminty – thank you! And I will!...Try to, at least…
Piper13 – thank you lots! I'm glad people are looking forward to updates! :D
Captain Riley Sparrow – I definitely do? Aw! Thank you!
Saia May Dursley – Haha! Have his head? That should be an interesting sight! Thank you!
Ferret 3136 – thank you! Kill someone? Haha! I never thought someone would kill someone to read more! Even if you were just kidding, I'm honoured. Thank you!
Holly-evans – I will, thank you, thank you! Lol.
Alycia – thank you! I'm trying to update A.S.A.P, but dad sometimes kicks me off the computer, which gets rather… irritating, lets just say. Thank you for your review!
Apricot-chan – evil, evil Jamesie indeed! Haha! (Or is it just evil, evil me, making Jamesie evil? MUAHAHAHAHA… uh …no, just kidding…)
Mooncheese – oh my gosh! I fell about laughing when I read your review! It was really amusing! I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you for making your review so comical! You really lead me on with the 'dear, dear, dear' bit – I thought it was going to be my first flamer, but no, it turned out to be a really nice review!!! Thank you SO much for that! 'O gifted writer'? You really are too much, you know that? As for the 'cloud of smoke' – very imaginative!!! Thank you for the humorous review!!! Bows low, and then vanishes under James's invisibility cloak… YES! I admit! I stole it. -Hangs head in shame.-
Greengoldfish1 – thank you! I will hurry! (Or at least do my best to!)
OjosAzules – thank you! And it may just get a bit more interesting… Haha.
Ashton Rushing – thank you! I'll try to keep it up, but I find that after my first chapter, my writing kind of goes down hill… if that's happening, please let me know, I'll try to improve.
AngelsChains124 – thank you! Thank you, and thank you again!
Alex – aw! That is SO sweet! Thank you!!!
Pantz – whoa! Have you checked out all of my HP fics so far? Thank you SO much! And please update Solitude soon… if you're the same Pantz I'm thinking of! (I recommend that to anyone else reading this!)
MPPLilyPotter – thank you SO much! And thank you for the offer, but I have my whole plot planned out, and I think I'll stick with it because changing it too much is going to be weird, but if you have any ideas, or notice any mistakes, please notify me anyway! Thank you!
Madame Zu Zu – thank you! But Lily being a seer will be the main plot line… sorry if you don't like it because of that…
Luthien RhiannonCat5 – thank you! Thank you, thank you very much!
Nikki – thank you! And I have! Is this soon enough? I would have updated earlier, but dad wouldn't let me on the computer…
Darkness Call – thank you so much! I am honoured that you want to translate my fic into French! (Take that as a yes :D!)
Papaya mango – thank you! There will be more Remus in the next chapter, I PROMISE!!! And as for the 'don't make them too mean'… well… um… no comment? -Sweat drop-
Ted – thanks.
Thank you for reviewing!!! And if you didn't review, thank you for taking the time to read my fic anyway!
-3 Always,
-Cryst
AKA LivingDreams
tintedroses.cjb.net
P.S. if you find that my writing is going downhill, please tell me, and I my best to improve. I find it usually happens like that, so yeah. If I don't have as many reviews as I did last time, I will try to make the next chapter even better than my first, so that I get more! Thank you all!
P.P.S. does anyone else find that certain people add you to author alerts, or favourite authors, yet they didn't review, or add you to favourite stories so you don't actually know what they're adding you for? I get that… and I sometimes feel like maybe they added me by accident… I don't know. Is it just me?