By the end of the school day, I was feeling a lot better about myself. There was still a half an hour until I was supposed to go to Emily's house. I take the school bus home, daydreaming about the future, day I finally come out to my dad.
As soon as I get home, I go to my room and throw myself on the bed. I think about what happened last night. My dad can be a real asshole. However, I know somewhere deep down, he loves me. Maybe just maybe, that will be enough for him to love me for who I truly am. He just needs some time to process things. Ever since mom died a few years ago, he's just been having a hard time.
I hear the door downstairs open and close. I get up from my bed and peek my head outside my room.
"Dad? Is that you?" I say slightly nervous, because he's not supposed to be home for a couple more hours. .
Silence answers me. I creep over to my closet and grab my baseball bat. I tiptoe out of my room and hug the banister while I make my way downstairs. Then I faintly hear something fall in the living room. I bring the bat up, ready to swing at whoever may be in my house.
I try again, "who's there?" I say, the fear making my voice shake.
I take a deep breath, then I quickly enter the living room. It's Emily. I drop my bat with a relieved exhale.
"Emily! What are you doing here? How did you get in? I thought that we were going to your house to hang out?"
"I used the spare that you gave me in case of an emergency. We are, I just wanted to surprise you," Emily says lightheartedly.
"Emily, you have to go. My dad is going to be home soon," I say sternly.
"Okay, okay. I'll go on one condition, you give me a kiss first."
I smile at her and lean in for a kiss. Our lips touch, and I swear fireworks go off every time.
All of a sudden, I hear someone opening the front door. I push Emily away from me and she falls onto the couch. I stand in front of her, in an attempt to hide and protect her from my dad.
"Dad is that you? What are you doing home so early?"
"Didn't have a lot of office work to do today since most of it got done at the conference so I thought I'd come home early and get dinner started before I watch the game." I see my dad moving towards us, his smile twisting into a scowl as he notices Emily is sitting behind me.
"What is SHE doing in my house?! She is not welcomed here. I told you to stay away from her!"
"Dad, she just came here to get some class notes. Besides, she was just leaving," I say, stuttering a little bit toward the end as he walks closer to us, stopping to stand right in front of me. I can smell the booze in his breath.
"Yes, sir, I was just leaving." Emily say as she stand up behind me.
"Was I talking to you? No, so don't talk to me!"
"Leave her alone!" I yell.
"Don't you dare stand here in my house, and defend this abomination."
"I can defend her all I want. You want to know why? Because I love her. I'm gay," I finally confess.
A vicious sting shoots over my entire left cheek as my dad's hand goes past my peripheral. My own flesh and blood, the man who was supposed to protect me, had hit me. All of my fears about coming out of the closet came true right before my eyes.
Emily gasps next to me, "Paige, are you okay?" Emily lifts my head to examine my cheek. I nod, but I am struggling to process what just happened.
"Don't you ever say that again! No daughter of mine is gonna be a homosexual!"
His pure hatred breaks me out of my reverie, "It's who I am, dad. I'm gay and there's nothing anyone, not even myself, can do about it. It's not something you can just change about me. I'm not broken, I don't need to be fixed. Do you get that? I'm finally being me! If you can't accept that, then to hell with you!"
He's staring directly at me, but he can't see me. It's as if he is looking straight through me. His entire being is pulsating with hate and anger. Before I know it, a dull thud echoes throughout my body and I topple over. He had punched me in the stomach.
"Paige!" Emily yells in distress.
"You shut up! It is your fault that my daughter is like this!" he screams at Emily.
He starts kicking me until I cough up blood. Emily sobs, trying to decide what she should do to help. This snaps my dad back into reality. His foot stops mid-air, and he turns toward Emily. I know he's going to try to hurt Emily now, instead of me. I quickly get to my feet, holding my abdomen as my muscle's spasm in pain. I am able to run in front of my dad and block him from reaching Emily.
"Emily, run upstairs and lock yourself in my room!"
"But Paige," she begs. I give her a pleading look and she trudges upstairs.
My dad tries to push past me, but I trip him. He sways and leans on one knee but doesn't completely fall over.
"Don't you dare touch her you drunk," I say, angry at the fact he even thought about hurting Emily.
"Oh, so you think you're all grown up now? That you don't need me? Well, I'm all you have left," he laughs, with pain hiding behind his eyes.
"I never needed you! You have never been there for me, not even when mom died," I yell back. "Instead of being the father that indeed after losing mom you shut me out and started drinking. The only time you started to actually pay any attention to me was when I started playing basketball."
My dad doesn't even say a thing. Instead of actually listening to what I had to say she just punched me again hard in the gut. I keel over, coughing up more blood and groaning in pain.
"Dad stop please, I'm you daughter." I beg as I cough some more blood.
"Not anymore your not you piece of trash." He then knees me in the nose, causing my head to snap back and blood to rush out of my nose. I try to fend him off but I'm just so lightheaded, that I end up falling to the ground and smacking my head against the floor unable to catch myself. He finally stops , grabs his jacket and leaves.
I lay on the floor unable to muster the strength to get up. My eyes get heavier and heavier. I think I might pass out. I hear foot steps coming down the stairs, and before I know it Emily is at my side tears streaming down her face.
"Oh my god Paige! Don't worry sweetie everything is gonna be okay I called 911" She says as she sits down, lifts my head from the floor and places it in her lap. But I can barley hear her it like I am underwater everything is muffled and my vision is beginning to get blurry.
"Hang on Paige help is coming." half whispers to me as she strokes my hair. Even at moments like this she can make me feel warm with love. I try to speak but everything just hurts too much. I am trying to fight but I have nothing left to give at this moment. As my eyes flutter shut the last thing I see is Emily crying as she gives a kiss on my forehead before I pass out.