A/N: Okay, I'm guessing most of you know about the sidestory I wrote for HGHC, right? Yeah… it was kinda to make myself start writing again. Kinda worked, but the only reason I'm continuing right now is because I've had a bit of inspiration from the tons of fanfics I'd been reading the past few days (it's half term, I was bored, what can I say?) lol… so yeah. I was a bit disappointed in the number of reviews I'd received, though. I mean, okay, if I didn't have many hits, I'd be fine with it, but I had 300+ hits, and 3 reviews… that's just pathetic. Seriously… did my writing really get that crap?
-Ehhem-
Anyways, I'm now looking for a beta (by the way I'm Chinese/British, so please don't Americanise certain words i.e. favourite- favorite etc.) anyone interested? (I remember someone asked AGES ago, but I wasn't interested in a beta then… sorry! if you're still interested leave a review, please! ) Lol… this might actually make me get off my lazy arse and update some more, but my situation in the real world right now is: over load of coursework and revision to be done… seriously, I have to make up like… 5 hours of work per evening, or else I'll never catch up. I'm supposed to be telling myself to do it during half term… didn't really work though ;;
Yeah, I'm not sure how this beta thing works, though… do I send you my chapter, then you give it back to me to upload, or what? oO;; Oh well, I'll learn!
Finally the main plot is making a come back although I've actually realised there are many flaws to my plot since the original got lost, so suggestions welcome. Heh. Oh, by the way, many of you seemed to be confused about the layout of their dorms? Yeah, that would be my awful explaining ;; lol, sorry. I drew a mini-diagram of it. If you want to see it email me since I can't upload it—file to big. (Bear in mind I drew it on Paint, so it kinda sucks, yeah? n.n;;)
P.S. I hate Pettigrew. Therefore, in this fic, he is an utter good-for-nothing, cowardly, majorly stupid, moronic waste of time, space, and words and should be hated by everyone and should be dead. Ehhem. Now that I've got that over with, lets get on with the chapter, ne? (Sorry if Lily seems a little OOC at the beginning of this chapter – she's just happy, and about time too!)
—×Chapter Ten×—I woke up, and smiled. Over these few days it's been like a heaven-on-earth for me, being the friend of the infamous Marauders… I'd told Professor Dumbledore about my strange visions. He had looked disturbed for a second, before smiling at me and telling me I had nothing to worry about, and it was probably just a dream I'd built up of my past visions mixed in with my own fears.
So I forgot about it, and I've never smiled so much in my life, and I knew I wouldn't be able to wipe the smile from my face and the laughter from my eyes if I'd tried… it'd been too much fun for me.
It was addictive.
The more I had, the more I wanted, and the hungrier I became for it. I hated myself like this; I was becoming so weak. What had happened to all the walls I'd spent my whole school life building up? What had happened to my resolve, my discipline, and my self-control? Where had they all disappeared? I knew I needed to restrain myself, because if I didn't stop now, I'd never be able to go back to my solitude when this week ended.
I had four more days to go… four more days before I get to the final straw and tell them about Pettigrew. I knew they would never forgive me if I dared insult one of them, after all, they'd grown up together, and I was once just a lonely outcast they'd never even think twice of going near. I would do little things before then… yes, that's what I'd do… tiny things… make them slowly dislike me, and then ultimately hate me.
My heart clenched at that thought. I didn't want their hate, but it was inevitable. I hated the concept of having them, having James, of all people hate me, but most of all, I hated myself. I'm such an ungrateful wretch, repaying their kindness with a bitchy attitude and cruelty, but it had to be done.
I sighed and almost felt myself fall back into depression. Every time I reflected upon these thoughts I would always feel upset, and I couldn't help it. I needed James… I couldn't bear the thought of him hating me. I'd rather we go back to how it was before: him never noticing my existence, and me watching him from afar, but it was all too late for that now.
Stop! I thought. I still had four days left… let's make the best of it.
Clutching on to my last thread of hope, I walked out of my dorm, only to be greeted by the sight of one very old headmaster, who'd once given me instructions to stay alone. I jumped with shock and a little fright, and then thought, "Please don't say he's here to tell me off…" I had been pretty much avoiding him for this reason, thanking whatever heavens there were that I hadn't had another vision lately.
"P-Professor Dumbledore! You scared me!" were the first words I said. I'm such an idiot, but he only chuckled, and apologised.
"Sorry for giving you a fright. I trust you are doing well?" he asked me. He wasn't telling me off… this was a plus… I think.
"Uhm… yes…" I responded, albeit a little hesitantly. After all, I still didn't know what he wanted. It could barely be as simple as a greeting.
"No visions lately?" he asked. I relaxed. If this was all this meeting with me this morning was about, then I could handle that, as long as my conscience did not sell me out.
"No" I replied, then, realised something was wrong. My face fell. "Professor…? Do you think he's planning something?"
He smiled, and I frowned. Why was he smiling? "It is quite possible, Miss. Evans, but that is not what I came here today." It took all my strength to stop my eyes from widening. Oh no, I thought, he knows! I would be in so much trouble. "No, Miss. Evans. I did not come here to inquire information on Voldemort of you, however, I do believe you have something else to tell me?"
I could see his eyes twinkling. That usually wasn't a bad sign, was it? I was having an internal struggle to keep myself from telling him, but unfortunately, I lost to my conscience like I always do, and it all came out: "I'm so sorry professor! I-know-I-wasn't-supposed-to-have-friends-but-I-couldn't-help-it-I'm-so-sorry-please-forgive-me-I-promise-I'll-leave-them-all-by-the-end-of-the-week!"
If I could have killed myself at that moment, I probably would have done. I'd always been able to think before I speak… it was so unlike me the difference was uncanny, and I'm sure Professor Dumbledore would have realised it too. Darn, I thought, I've been hanging out with Sirius WAY too much… I could just envision being reprimanded for disobeying him, but to my surprise, he merely chuckled again.
"I think you've chosen quite wisely, and I'm sure it's about time you were allowed some friends, don't you, Miss Evans?" He said, the twinkle in his eyes more prominent than ever. I was dumbstruck; I felt my jaw drop open with shock… had he just said what I thought he said? Was I really allowed to? Did this mean I wouldn't need to break our friendship by the end of the week? I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders, any talk about Voldemort had been completely wiped from my mind, and once again I felt I couldn't have stopped smiling if I'd tried—it was like a dream come true, so, doing the only logical thing that sprung to mind, I hugged him.
I was almost crying with joy before I realised what I was doing. No doubt about it… I've been hanging round Sirius way, way, WAY too much. I felt myself blush. The professor still seemed to be in shock when I had released him, so I quickly began to apologise. "I-I'm sorry sir, I-"
He held his hand up to silence me. "It's quite alright, Miss Evans. After all, it's not every day a Seer has permission to de-seclude herself." He smiled and said, "Good day, Miss Evans" and walked away, but not before looking up at something in the distance, winking once with that familiar twinkle in his eyes. I had completely missed this gesture, all I could think about were his previous words. My heart soared. Now, I definitely wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face if I'd tried. I was positively beaming, and I loved it.
Unbeknownst to me, another figure in the shadows had been watching the whole encounter—a smile almost as big as mine gracing his lips.
—×—
"What's the occasion, Flower?" Sirius greeted me with Remus and Peter upon my entrance to the Great Hall. James had walked down with in a comforting silence after Dumbledore had departed. He hadn't asked why I was so happy, and I was grateful. I wondered if he'd overheard what Dumbledore had told me, but then quickly discarded the thought.
"Hm?" I feigned ignorance. I couldn't possibly let them know the real reason behind the gleam in my eyes, the faint blush on my cheeks, and the largest grin I'd ever worn in my life. No, that would mean revealing my secret, and as happy as I was with them and as much as I trusted them, I couldn't tell them—not yet at least.
"Don't give me that look, Flower; you know what I mean." Sirius mock glared and gave me a look that clearly said, 'please, give me some credit'. When I didn't reply, he persisted, "You look happier than you did when you were with us! You…" Sirius suddenly gasped, as if in realisation. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "You haven't found a boyfriend, have you?"
Pettigrew looked at me blankly. Remus didn't say anything, and instead raised an eyebrow, but I could tell his eyes looked shocked. I felt James stiffen slightly beside me and I could have sworn my own heart had stopped for a second at the potential misunderstanding. "No!" I denied as soon as I'd gotten over the shock of the question. "I'm just happy. Am I not allowed to be happy?" I asked, putting my façade of angelic ignorance back on.
I could tell Sirius wasn't convinced in the slightest, nor were the others. So I continued, carefully selecting my words so I didn't lie, "Professor Dumbledore congratulated me on something this morning." Well, I didn't lie, per-se, I just didn't exactly tell the whole truth either. A 'congratulations' was definitely hinted in our short conversation this morning.
Luckily, Sirius bought it, Remus smiled, and James visibly relaxed, and even smiled at me, saying, "Congratulations, then, on whatever it was." It was the kindest smile I'd ever seen, with so much of the emotion behind his eyes, almost as if he knew what he was congratulating me for. He looked so happy for me, and I felt myself melt beneath his gaze. I was sure he'd never looked so beautiful before, apart from that night in the common room with the light of a fading fire softening his features, leaving him half in shadows but no doubt looking as breath-takingly gorgeous as ever, and with a body to match…
I shook myself out of my reverie and blushed. Furiously. And instantly averted my eyes. I thanked Merlin when Sirius laughed, joking about how he must have been telling me how well I'd done in the last assignment or something… well, half-joking, anyways, because 'knowing Lils, that's probably what it was actually about.'
"Let's sit down," said a voice. I had almost forgotten Pettigrew was even here. I had been too entranced by James' mesmerizing hazel eyes… I quickly stopped that trail of thought as a blush was threatening to grace my cheeks once more, however, I couldn't have agreed more at that moment, and, judging by the low rumbling coming from Sirius' stomach, I take it he couldn't have either.
Laughing, the five of us walked to take our usual seats at the Gryffindor table, and each began piling food on our plates like no tomorrow until each of us had our personal mini-mountain, and with smiles galore, we dug in. Needless to say, it was delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I failed to notice a pair of amber eyes glaring at me…
—×—
Darkness came, surrounding me, and I knew immediately where I was. I could feel cold sweat beginning to seep through every pore of my body at the tension in the air, then, I saw it, smelt it, and I'm sure in some part of my unconscious mind, I felt it too…
A faint light ignited from the corner of the dungeon, bathing its occupants in an eerie glow. A smirk. He advanced upon his prey. Their lifeless forms were dangling from thick metal chains; dried blood sticking to pale skin where it'd flowed down their bodies. Their clothes had been shredded by some sort of weapon, leaving deep wounds in its place, blood clots now forming around the edges. Fresh blood was still seeping from fresh wounds, limbs were out of place; victims of the Cruciatus. Their eyes were dead, as if they'd felt too much, yet nothing at all. They were barely alive. The worst of it, was that they looked familiar.
Bile was rising up my throat. I felt I would throw up any second, but when he spoke, I almost did.
"The Drakes… a powerful family, weren't they?" malice mixed with amusement could be heard within his voice. "Dear, dear, how did you manage to get yourself caught? Oh yes, you were careless. Carelessness cost lives, just like they will cost yours. I will enjoy torturing you to death."
The Drakes… I vaguely recognised the name somewhere in the back of my mind, but all thoughts were forgotten at the next words that came from his mouth… words that made my blood run cold…
Piercing red eyes seemingly looked directly at me. My heart stopped… he couldn't possibly know I where I was!
"Will you be enjoying the show, Seer?"
"NO!" I sat bolt upright in my bed. My body was sticky with sweat and I held a hand up to calm my racing heart. I cast my eyes at my surroundings, thanking Merlin it was over; so glad I didn't witness their actual death. I noted I'd kicked off my covers and I shivered, but not from the cold.
He couldn't know I was there… it wasn't possible… he couldn't possibly have known I was there, and be able to glare right at me. No, Professor Dumbledore had told me himself: the most powerful weapon against Voldemort is a Seer, a presence who would always be at the scene of a death, yet could never be detected. I remember being so angry at being used as a powerful weapon, but I'd learnt to live with it by now, now matter how sickening the experiences were.
I paused for another moment, swallowing the nausea that was threatening to overcome me from the sight I'd just seen before my feet took off on their own accord, too accustomed to these things happening, and too used to it to care, but that didn't make each vision easier to cope with.
"Sherbet lemon" I said to a very familiar statue. The password had been changed a couple of days ago, and even though I had not been there to report anything, I was always kept up to date with any password changes to Dumbledore's office. Scrambling up stairs, I slammed the door open.
"Professor!"
The headmaster looked up at me expectantly. He had been waiting… did he know something? "Miss Evans, please report what you have seen." He said, and I did.
I saw him pale a few shades at the mention of the Drakes, and pale even further at Voldemort's message for me. This could not mean anything good. "Professor…" I asked tentatively, "He… doesn't know… about me… does h—?"
"Unfortunately, Miss Evans, it seems he knows about you, however," he continued at my shocked disposition, myself paling a few shades lighter than that of his, "I can assure you he does not know it is you. It is my guess that he estimated your whereabouts, seeing as you always observe from the same location, and he has been able to practise what little ligemency he can on a Seer and feel your emotion with each of his attempts, and tonight, he has finally found your position within your visions. He is a very powerful ligemens, but even so he cannot penetrate the mind of a Seer. It has only been recently that he has tried to 'contact' you, am I correct?" He was referring to my 'vision' at the Hospital Wing, and later on that night. I nodded.
"Then we can guess that he knows of your existence, but does not know who or where you are, however, he can use his limited knowledge of your vision occurrences, and try to use that against you. He probably has found how to provoke your visions, and may try to scare you in future, by hinting that he knows your whereabouts, but I promise you this, he does not know, and you must never give him the pleasure of sensing your panic like he must have done tonight."
I nodded again. What Dumbledore said made sense… I knew Voldemort could never penetrate my mind, my Seer genes made sure of that, but the visions… they were awful enough. Voldemort himself couldn't penetrate my mind, but my visions could, and now that he may have known how to trigger them I could certainly be expecting them more often. The thought made me whimper inwardly, but on the outside I could only sigh.
"But sir, that night he tried to 'contact' me… he knew I was muggle-born, or not, as he claimed. He said—"
"Miss. Evans, I had already told you, that is nothing to worry about. Whether he knows you are muggle-born or not is not important. Trust me, he does not know who you are, and you must never give him that pleasure, understand?"
I could only nod. His words made no sense to me, yet his tone left no room for argument. He must know something I didn't, and that thought irked me. Then, I remembered something. "Professor, the Drakes—"
"Ah, that, Lily, I will inform Miss. Alexia Drake. You are familiar with her, I presume?" I felt shocked. I knew I'd known that name from somewhere. I knew I'd recognised them from somewhere… it was because Alexia had looked so much like them. I could only nod again as Dumbledore slowly considered his next words.
"I feel it would be better you do not ask or tell her anything personally. I hear you two aren't on the best of terms, and I'm sure you don't wish for her to find out your secret, although if you wish to ask of her well being I suggest you do it discreetly. As for her parents, they were (my eyes narrowed at the use of the past tense when they were still alive) amazing aurors—second best next to the Potters, and it seems they have become careless. So careless, in fact, to be at the mercy of Voldemort himself, and I'm afraid I cannot help them.
"To try to infiltrate Voldemort's personal dungeons would be like committing suicide, and I do not have people to spare. Please do not tell her of this occurrence. It will not do for her to hate me. She is a powerful witch, and a wonderful ally, but I'm sure she would also be a deadly enemy, if it ever comes to that."
I understood, but I couldn't help but feel angry at Dumbledore… his last words could easily have been directed at me, also. He was planning to use her, just like he used me. I didn't have the strength to muster up a glare, or even a look of disapproval, so I merely nodded once more. I wouldn't be able to tell her without revealing everything anyway, although if I'd known that he may have even had the slightest chance of saving my parents and not done so, I would have a personal grudge on him. Forever.
I could tell the difference between visions now. Some where of the present, some where of the future. My parent's death was in the present tense, and there would have been nothing I could have done about it, but this… this was different. This wouldn't happen until tomorrow, and it irked me to know that Voldemort scared me so much I lost logic.
Voldemort couldn't possibly have been talking to me, because he would be talking to thin air…tomorrow. I only remembered this just now, and I felt so stupid. Bidding the Professor goodnight, I took my leave, but not before sparing one last look at him. His eyes were solemn, contemplating, planning, and as I left his office, I knew my own thoughts would plague me tonight. Sleeping was now out of the question.
"You heard her, right?" he asked. McGonagall stepped out from behind a secret doorway. "Yes" was the reply, and she knew what he was thinking. She gave him a reprimanding look, and he cast his eyes down, ashamed.
"It cannot be helped, Minerva." Dumbledore said, and she understood the double meaning of his words.
—×—
Alexia cried. She couldn't believe it… her own parents had been murdered… tortured to death. A letter had arrived, addressed to her this morning, with a description of how they found her parents bodies shamelessly cast in a field somewhere down south. She decided she would not recall the details, for they would just hurt more, and she was now in Dumbledore's office.
"I hate him." She stated.
"I know…"
"I want him to die. I want to kill him…" anger, hatred, and revenge blared in her amber eyes as she glared at the floor, her hands clenched tightly into fists, tears flowing steadily down her face. Her voice shook slightly, and her knuckles had turned white.
"You can."
Her head shot up.
—×—
In the darkest hour of the night, the presence of a pair of hooded people loomed the long-deserted halls of Hogwarts corridors.
"You're sure about this? He does not permit hesitance." One asked. Not an inch of their faces could be seen; both were either hidden by their hoods, or the darkness; not even their heights could be perceived. The only clue that gave away the genders of the couple was a low-ish voice of a male, and a higher voice of a female, both young adolescents.
"Yes," said the female, "now prove to me you are the one I seek."
The other rolled up his left sleeve. A Dark Mark was prominent on the surface of skin. Even in the darkness, when not even the colour of skin could be made out, every detail, every contour of the mark could be distinguished. It was charmed that way, the girl guessed. Luminescent in darkness, dark in daylight.
How ironic, she thought, light in the darkness, and darkness in the light. But she that was not the sign she had been looking for. A second of nothing, then, wisps of smoke rose gently from the tattoo, forming a 'V' with a snake curled around the letter. Now, she was convinced.
Handing a letter of her own to the Messenger, she whispered, "Hesitance is weakness."
An imperceptible nod was the response, and he was gone.
She sighed.
—×—
A/N: Well, there you have it, as promised on my profile (I'll be putting up dates for my next upload), and happy 16th to me! Lol. YAY! Although I am really, rather, very angry with myself for not updating in a year. Believe me, I'm scolding myself. I'm such a horrible, horrible authoress it's not even funny. But, the good news, I've actually finished this a month before my birthday. Could you believe it? After I set a deadline for myself I actually sat my lazy arse down and wrote it all. It was actually even quite fun! So yes, since I have finished this so long before time, I will now go on to write the next chapter! Yay! Lol.
Anyways, I would just like to mention TajM for her wonderful review for my Sidestory (and her other reviews for HGHC). Lol.
TajM (reply to your review for my Sidestory ): Don't worry—I think you're perfectly right for scolding me. God knows I need it . I don't know if I should put that sidestory into this actual one. I don't think I will—it was just something to get me off my lazy arse and start writing again. Kinda worked…ish. And thank you very much for the review… it meant a lot to me because seriously, I'd actually almost given up writing because I was just so busy/lazy/fed up blah, blah and various other reasons, but your review was a nice kick up the arse , and it was what finally made me resolve to post the next chapter up on my birthday—1) because I'll have time enough to write it, and 2) because it isn't that long a wait anymore. So thank you very much again!
And also, I'd like to thank valery for her very encouraging review, thank you very much .
If the rest of you are wondering why your reviews weren't mentioned, well, I was just writing it for those who reviewed my Sidestory lol, either that, or because it merely consisted of 'hey! I love your fic! Please continue' or something along those lines… lol, I'm weird, I guess. I really, really appreciate long reviews, so if you give me a lovely nice, long review, I'll make sure you get mentioned in the next chapter (which I'm hoping to have up in May—no promises, though. GCSE's are coming up, and I'm dying under pressure.)
At auschick, who wrote:
'err.. this totally goes against all harry potter theories...
and lily and james are meant to live happily after, not just be friends..'
…Does anyone have anything to say to her? Because I sure do, except she didn't leave a contact, so I wasn't able to say anything, and since she doesn't read authors notes (because if she did, she wouldn't have sent such a stupid review), then I can't very much say anything, to be honest. So if you would like to review, constructive criticism is very much appreciated. Down-right-stupid comments, on the other hand, are not.
Saia May Dursley: I was actually going through my old chapters to check I didn't contradict stuff, and I saw I'd written "She's not just a 'random chick', who is she? You'll find out!" to reply to one of your reviews. Well, now you've kind of found out! Hehe
Hm… can I just ask… can we try for 19 reviews for this chapter? (Get me up to 300 reviews? Please, please, pretty please? I'd be ever so happy!) I mean, I have 63 people who have me on their author alerts. Just think, if each of those people gave me one review, how amazingly happy will I be? I know this chapter wasn't excellent, but it's moving along—hey! I was even actually quite proud of myself for someone who wasn't particularly inspired. Cookies for my favourite review/reviewer! (And will be mentioned in the next chapter! Whee! )
L8r,
—×Kuri×—