Breathe in, breathe out. In and out. He needs to calm down. He needs to focus. This will probably be one of the most important cases in his careers. He has to proof confidence. He owns this to Mike. Usually he's comfortable in the courtroom. Nothing and no one can harm him here. This is where HE decides where to go. This is, where he's in order. Then why does he suddenly feel so insecure?
They worked like hell all the week for this hearing. The whole team was on board: Mike, Rachel, Jessica, Louis and of course Donna.
Donna. He hates it, but he has to admit that after all that happened, she's his sore point. No one can drive him crazy like she can. The worst is, she always knows exactly when he's not fine. It drives him crazy that he can't hide his emotion from her. He knows, he needs her around when something like this happens, but he can't deal with all the unspoken things between them. He has to gather all of his power for the upcoming trial.
Seen objectively this isn't even a complicated case. There is no proof Mike's guilty. Nor is it a question of a high amount of dispute. Stop – who the hell is he kidding here? The amount in dispute is Mike! So, yes, there is a lot to lose. But Harvey doesn't lose, he never does. So why should he start now?
2 weeks. They sat the date for the trial up in two weeks. It's not much but he expected nothing else. All in all, the hearing went well. Two weeks isn't much time to prepare but it's on Gibbs to find enough prove in less than a month. Let's see how she'll handle that. But Harvey has to admit: this woman is a tough opponent. She's very eager to get what she wants, but so is he. He'll do it.
They haven't talked in a week. But they kept their word: Harvey took back his resignation and Donna came back to his desk.
Louis handled the new situation very well, in a Louis' manner, but it worked.
Gretchen on the other hand wasn't even surprised.
"Ah Red, I was waiting for this moment since I came here. We all know, I couldn't replace you in every aspect."
"Gretchen, I'm convinced you did your very best. I know, my arrangement system is very sophisticating and Mr. Spectre can be very… demanding sometimes."
"That's not quite what I meant, Red…"
Before Donna could even think about what her predecessor was hinting at, she was already taking up by her work again. The upcoming trial occupied them all, so there wasn't even much time or opportunity for Donna and Harvey to discuss their new work situation. Apart from that, none of them was really willing to discuss it.
But all of that couldn't prevent Donna from realising what was going on with her boss. He throws himself into his work. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he doesn't even talk. Donna knew, that the possibility of losing Mike hit Harvey very hard, but there has to be something else, although he would never admit that. She knows, she should talk with him about it, but she isn't sure, she's in the right position to do so. Instead she tries to shut him of from everything that could probably irritate him. She organises his schedule and turns away every call. She does the best she could. What did she just say to Mike the other day? "I am the best damn person you've ever seen at reading people, anticipating needs, and generally dominating everything" – so she needs to live up to this expectation.
But every time she tries to speak with him, she can't get rid of the feeling to be unwanted. It doesn't matter which intentions she has, he always breaks off the conversation and punishes her with disinterest. And that hurts. A lot.
Things at work had been more trying lately. The time of the trial is getting closer and they still don't have a good strategy. Anita Gibbs is breathing down their necks and now she's after Rachel, too. If that wasn't bad enough, it's driving Mike out of his mind. Harvey knows, he can't be mad at him but a distracted Mike is the last thing he needs right now. They need to focus. He knows his way to deal with personal issues isn't the most healthy one, but it's efficient. At least he believes that. And as long he can keep Donna at distance, it works for him.
Finding Scotty inside his office doesn't help. She accused him of choosing Mike over her. She accused Mike's secret of being the reason they broke up. Is she right with that? He doesn't know and although he cared deeply for her, he can't deal with that too right now. He knows, he didn't do right to her. The moment she leaves his office, he's already sorry talking to her like that. He's been out of control, because his emotions are eating him up lately and he can't handle it. But what is he supposed to do? He needs to focus on what really matters, but for that he needs an outlet.
Speak of the devil: right in this moment an outraged redhead rushed in his office.
"Harvey, calm down" And Harvey does, what he's best at: pushing away all people that care about him.
"I'm not gonna calm down! You told me to go after Gibbs to stop Mike from doing something stupid and I did. And all that did was waste our time like I said it would. Stop pretending you would know anything. It's Mike's trial, I'm his lawyer. You're just my secretary." She's far too self-conscious for a statement like that to scratch her ego. Yeah, she's a secretary, but she's damn good at what she's doing and the both know it.
„Okay Harvey, stop yelling at me. I'm not the enemy here."
"You are and Scottie is too! 'Cause you're distracting me from work. So, please shut the door when you leave"
"Harvey, Gibbs is attacking Rachel, the woman he loves. You of all people should be able to understand that." What did she just say? Did she really appeal on his feelings for Scotty? Well okay, then he will play that game too.
"I don't give a shit. He had no right to go after someone I love"
"Okay, you know what, Harvey. Mike is the one on trial here, not Scottie. And all he did was ask her to do something. So maybe the thing you're really upset about is that she's right" And again: she really hit a nerve.
"When will you stop acting like you know me better, then I know myself?"
"When you realise it's the truth."
"I doubt that. Otherwise you wouldn't have left me. Twice"
"Wow, so that's what this is about? Harvey, you're a grown up men so you should start acting like one. You know what? I'll go because I really have no intention to discuss this with you."
She leaves his office as fast she could. She knew the subject would come up at some point but right now she wasn't ready for that. All the things she's been keeping bottled up for the past few weeks come rushing back at her. And that in the truest sense of the word: she is just about to reach the toilet when she already has to throw up.
She's still sitting there at the bottom, tears running down and her face buried behind her hands, when she heard somebody else entering the bathroom. She tries her best to stop sobbing, but it's too late. The other woman has already heard the noises and asks anxious: "Hey, everything okay in there?" Donna is very relieved when she recognized Rachels' voice. Silently she opens the door.
"Oh my god, Donna! What are you doing down here? What's wrong?"
"I don't now. It's much going on lately"
"You don't say" the younger woman sighs and takes a seat next to her.
"I know you've been through a lot Rachel. I really don't know why I'm the one falling apart here. I just had an argue with Harvey and it seems like I've lost control about my emotion."
"Who are you and what have you done to Donna Paulsen?" Rachel gives her a smile. "But seriously, why did you argue?
"Scottie came here because Mike had giving her a visit. Let's just say Harvey wasn't happy about that."
"What did he expect? Mike can't sit down and watch."
"I know that. But he should have come to Harvey first. Scottie thought Harvey had sent him to her, something he would've never done."
"Wait a minute? Are you defending him right now?"
"No. I'm just… I understand why he's upset." Rachel gives her a furious look.
"So, when Harvey is going behind our back every time it's ok, but Mike is not allowed to save himself?"
"That's not what I meant!"
"That's what you just said. I see, when it comes to Harvey we are never at the same site." Disappointed Rachel gets up.
"Rachel, that's exactly what I talked about. We should all be at the same side. We can't fight each other. No one should go behind anybody's back!"
"You may be right, but Harvey's always doing what he thinks it's best. He doesn't give a crap about anybody else. Admit it, Donna: you're much too close to him to see this" With that she turns and leaves the bathroom without giving Donna another look. She, on the other hand, throws up the second time on that day.