I hope you all had a peaceful christmas time surrounded by your loved ones. I'm still in holiday mood, busy eating cockies and cuddeling with my niece. So the next chapters will probably take some more time but I hope to shorten your waiting time a little bit with this one. The dialogue in the courtroom is from episode 5.14 and I only added everything, I expected Donna to feel in this moment.
"Donna! What the …?" Rachel has to keep it together not to shout it out so loud that the whole building hears it. She's not sure she just got that right. Does this little plastic stick in her friend's hand really mean what she thinks it does?
"You're pregnant?" she whispers. Donna doesn't say a word. She doesn't even blink.
"With Harvey's baby?" Silence.
"I really don't know what to … To say I'm shocked would be an understatement ..."
"What do you think how I feel? I just found out some minutes ago."
"Donna, that's huge!"
"I know."
"That's really a lot."
"I know."
"How do you feel?"
"I don't know."
"Will you keep it?"
"I don't know."
"Will you tell him? You have to tell him! Donna you should…"
If there's anything positive about this situation, it's that it's distracting Rachel from her own problems. She's already collecting ideas and making plans, but for Donna it's all too much to process right now. It was the right thing to confide in her friend, but Donna hadn't got a clue about any of this. She didn't even have a chance to get a clear thought herself. She's staring at the little white stick in her hand, but hasn't quite understood what those two thin pink lines mean for her, for her life. Rachel keeps talking but Donna doesn't listen to her anymore. The shock of the bomb she has just dropped hits her now with full force: a baby! Damn it. There's a little human being growing in her. She can't tell Rachel how she feels 'cause she doesn't know. She doesn't know anything right now. She's just exhausted.
"Rachel, stop it! I really appreciate how much you care about me but that's neither the time nor the place to discuss this further. I can't…"
"But Donna, you should ..." before she could finish her objection, Donna slappes her hands over her head and bursts into tears. Miserable sobs run through her. Rachel can't remember she ever saw her like that and she must realize that any attempt for intervention is futile at this ponit. Instead, she gently stokes her friend's back until she gradually calms down.
"Okay, Donna, it's okay."
"Thanks, Rachel. I guess I just need some time."
"I see. Take alle the time you need. I'm always there if you need me."
"Thank you, I really appreciate this. But you have to promise that you won't tell anyone. Especially not Mike. If there's one thing this guy can't do it's keeping a secret from Harvey."
"Of course! But Donna you have to talk with him about it some day."
"Not now Rachel, I can't … I just … Not now."
She gets up from the hard floor and rests on the sink. She's taking a deep breath and tries hard not to lose her temper. Rachel's just looking at her. She still can't quite believe what her friend just confessed to her. She gets up to and stands next to her, lays her head down on her best friend's shoulder and looks in the mirror.
"Donna look at us" and Donna does her the favour.
"If anyone can do it, it's Michelle Ross and Harriet Specter" An really, despite all the tension, a small smile crosses her face.
She buried herself in work, minimized contact with her fellows to the bare minimum and blocked any personal conversation. She kept the facade up the whole time, as far as she could.
After leaving the bathroom, she had rushed back to her seat and hidden the pregnancy test in the depths of her purse. Out of sight out of mind. And she has done quite well with that strategy so far. She's not trying to give a thought to what was coming for her. Right now there are more important things, she tells herself. At first they have to win Mike's trial, and one can still worry about everything else later. Deep down, she knows she can't go on like this much longer. Eventually, the dams would burst. But not now. Now it's time to keep calm and somehow avert this damn trial. If anyone can do that, it's the team of Pearson-Spectre-Litt. Harvey is and remains the best damn closer of New York. They'll be fine.
Rachel knows exactly, what Donna was doing the last days. She has already tried to talk to her several times but every time she bangs her head against a brick wall. Donna is about to build a wall around herself and push everyone away. Rachel can understand that. It's just all too much right now. Still, she has to manage to get over that damn wall as soon as possible to show her friend that she doesn't have to go through it alone. But how? Twice she had been to hers but she had not opened the door. Supposedly she was at yoga but Rachel knows that's not true. She knows her friend's weekly schedule. She doesn't answer the phone either and at work, the only place Donna can be found at the moment, it's really not the right occasion. But she needs to figure out something. It can't go on like this!
"Your Honor, prosecution calls Donna Paulsen to the stand." Okay, breathe. They were expecting this. No surprise. She takes a glimpse at Harvey but doesn't get any reaction.
"Don't worry, Donna. She won't ask you point-blank if you knew Make was a fraud." Jessica says.
„What if she does?"
"If you lie, they'll never know." Let's hope she's right. Donna is an expert when it comes to spotting a lie in others but has never been comfortable at lying herself. She takes another deep breath and does what she has to do.
"Miss Paulsen, it's my understanding that you arranged Mr. Specter's interviews for the position currently filled by Michael Ross, is that correct?" Good, that's save ground.
"I assisted in the process, yes." Short but clear answers, what's what Harvey hat demanded.
"Did you find it suspicious that Mr. Ross wasn't listed on the Harvard class ranking from his first year?" Another question that was easy to answer.
"No, I didn't."
"And why is that?"
"Because I've never been on any class ranking and I'm the best legal secretary in the city." She knows that such an insolent answer is not welcome in court but she can't hold on to herself. She needs to present herself strongly in order to feel bulletproof. A little boost of her self-confidence can't hurt.
"Wow, that's a quippy response, Ms. Paulsen. But if you were so good at your job, how would you allow someone who wasn't even on the interview list to get in a room alone with Harvey Specter? I'm sure you'll recognize this list. After all, you typed it up. And it looks like his name isn't on this one either." Gibbs may think if she implies that Donna wasn't doing her job properly, she would get her. She's wrong. Donna is above that.
"No, he wasn't on the list, but he was smart enough to talk his way in which is what a good lawyer does and exactly what I was looking for." Ha! She can't help but smiles in satisfaction.
"How exactly did he talk his way in?" Donna's smile fades. She doesn't like the direction ths conversation is drifting in right now.
"Answer the question, Ms. Paulsen." Anita Gibbs has caught a scent.
"He took someone else's spot." Donna swallows. She know realizes what Gibbs is aiming at.
"You mean he said he was someone else. " Donna swallows.
"You're under oath, Ms. Paulsen. May I remind you that perjury carries a sentence of up to five years" Now she doesn't have to. Donna just needs to look at Harvey's tense jaw to see, that this was far from good.
"Did he say he was someone else?"
"He said he was Rick Sorkin."
"So your first introduction to Mr. Ross was an impostor?" Donna realises she fucked up. She was trying to help but she said the exact wrong thing. How could this happen? Usually she does have enough finesse to steer a conversation the way SHE wants it. But Anita Gibbs is ripping apart every single word..
"I didn't say that." She's trying to save what's still to be saved. But she feels her courage swayig and her voice breaking.
"You said he lied abut what his name was. That makes him an impostor." To see this confidence of victory on Anita Gibbs face makes her sick. She thinks she needs to threw up again.
"Are you going to recant your testimony?" She can't help but look at Harvey. Her eyes are begging him for help. But still, there's no reaction. Instead Gibbs saw it.
"Don't look at him."
"No, I'm not recanting." She tries to gather all her courage and to maintain her posture one last time.
"All right. So now we've established that Mr. Ross is a liar. And now we're gonna find out if you're a liar. So, Ms. Paulsen, to the best of your knowledge, did Mike Ross go to Harvard Law School or not?"
She did it. She's got Dona right where she needs her to be. There is no way out. Donna is well aware she may have blew up the whole case. Her statement may put Mike to jail. The only right thig to answer right now would be a lie. She has to lie if she wants to prevent the worst. But right at that moment, she feels a dragging pain in her lower abdomen. A feeling she's never known before. Without anyone noticing, she gently puts her hand on her stomach. In that exact moment, right there in the middle of the courtroom, she suddenly gets the realization that she's been avoiding her for days: she will be a mother.
This feeling overwhelms her so much at this moment that she can no longer focus on what really matters. How can she lie now? Gibbs just accused her of being a liar. How could she convince even one person in this courtroom of the contrary? She can't do that. Not now. The feeling of helplessness and excessive demand overwhelms her. In the end, she has no choice but to give up.
"I'd like to assert my Fifth Amendment right."
As this year is ending, I wish all the negativity and difficulties also to end. I'm convinced the next year will be better! We can do this - together!
PS: Don't forget to leave a review