When Harvey leaves Donnas' he wasn't ready to spend the rest of the evening alone in his empty apartment. He changed into his sweat pants and goes for a run. It's actually way too late for sport now but he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.
Actually he would distract himself with work but he had spent the last weeks almost exclusively in the office. He had never been better prepared for a trial - there was simply nothing left to do.
Alcohol had always been a good way to distract himself but that was beyond question. He needs to be lucid tomorrow.
Rarely has he felt so alone as he does now. But there is no one there for him to talk to. There is no way he's calling Mike tonight. The boy should spend every free minute with Rachel. Jessica was far too focused on her law firm to worry about Mike - they'd just argue the minute he arrvies. He has not had any contact with Markus for some time. He doesn't know about any of this yet, and he doesn't know Mike at all. Unless, of course, Donna hasn't told him. That wouldn't surprise him at all. It always amazed him how well Donna got along with the Specters. His father had often teased him about talking to her on phone more often than he does with his oldest son. He is sure that she also kept in contact with Markus, although he himself did not. She always has a thing to get along with people. One of the many things, he appreciates so much on her.
But the conversation they just had wasn't calming him at all. It wore him down all the more. This tension between them had been unbearable, because there were far too many things unspoken. And he sensed very clearly that she was carrying something. Something was bothering her, aside from what was going on anyway. But it's just not the same between them anymore. Clearly, Donna doesn't trust him with her problems anymore. She is no longer the one he should turn to, either. Probably his visit had been a mistake at all.
Nobody sleeps well this night. They are lying awake for hours, tossing and turning in their beds, dreading what the next morning might bring. Mike holds Rachel tightly in his arms , sucks her in with all of his senses. He listens to her breath, feels her heart beat, smells the scent of her shampoo. How long will he not be able to be that close to her? Rachel feels the tears running down her cheek but she refuses to talk to him, although there is so much more to say. It may be wrong but she just wants to enjoy their remaining time, his heated body in her back.
Donna's not any better either. But even though she is alone in her apartment, she does not feel lonely. The thought of the small human being that grows in her, builds her up. Nevertheless, her thoughts revolve around the possibility of losing Harvey. There's still a chance he's gonna turn himself in to Gibbs, all because she didn't tell him the whole truth. Of course, it could happen anyway, but then it won't be her fault. If he sacrificed himself now, even though she could have prevented it, she would never forgive herself. When she wakes from her restless sleep is not even 6 o'clock. Nonetheless she goes to the office. She wants to check one last time if all folders and copies are correct – they will not lose Mike by an administrative mistake.
Meanwhile she won't put her pone out of hand for a second. She constantly checks her mailbox, but there's no news, the jury hasn't decided yet. As time progresses, she more and more worries about what Harvey might do. Finally, when she can't stand it anymore, she dials his number. After the first ringing, he picks up. He couldn't let his phone out of his sight either.
"Have you heard from him?"
"Not yet. Where are you?"
"At the firm. Checking up the papers. Are you at home?" she aske worried.
"No. I'm on my way to court" Her hand begins to tremble by his words.
"Harvey, you promised you won't…"
"Calm down. I just want to check on Mike. He doesn't answer his phone and I'm pretty sure he's already there waiting for the jury."
"Okay…" She swallows. Then it's quiet. Neither of them says a word and they merely listen to each other's deep breaths. Then it's his turn to swallow hard.
"Donna…"
"I know, Harvey, I know. I'm scared too. Be there for him. He needs you."
"I don't think so, but I will."
"Harvey there's something else. I don't think I will make it to court in time. There is … Hmm… I have an appointment at 12 and I don't think I'll be back in time."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah. It's just something I can't delay."
"We'll call you as soon as we know anything."
"Thank you… Harvey? Promise me you won't turn yourself in."
"I gave you my word to wait for the jury, so I will. Don't worry, okay."
"Okay"
When she hangs up the phone she doesn't feel any better. She wasn't lying: she actually has her first prenatal appointment with the gynecologist today. Even though she's incredibly nervous to find out if everything is okay with her baby, she'd much rather be by Harvey's side right now. He may have given her his word, but how much was that worth when the chips were really down? Anything can happen in court and she won't be there. Lost in thought, she leans at Harvey's table, staring at the New York skyline, with one hand she clutches the telephone, the other she has laid on her belly, when suddenly Gretchen appears behind her.
"Morning Red. At the office this early? On a day like this?"
"Well I couldn't stay at home. So I thought I might check in and… Honestly I don't know."
"We are all trying to help, one way or the other."
"At least we try." She sighs.
"Have you heard something?"
"No. I just called Harvey. He's on his way, but I think we'll all have to to wait a little longer."
"Ah, screw waiting!" The older woman bursts out and falls on Harvey's chair. Donna takes one of the Basketballs that no one is allowed to touch – but her. She swallows by the thought of Harvey.
"You're scared he could throw himself in the gunfire, right?" Donna doesn't need to answer. One look in her desperate face tells Gretchen everything she needs to know. So she decides to go all in
"You're freaking out 'cause in about 7 months the two of you will need him more then ever, am I right?" Donna's so shocked, she nearly drops the ball. She looks at her frightened.
"How do you know?"
"When are you gonna learn that you can't keep secrets from me? Come on, girl, don't look at me like you've seen a ghost. I'm just good at watching people. You are eating a lot more lately, you keep running to the bathroom and you stopped drinking coffee, despite the bags under your eyes. Besides, things have been weird between the two of you for a some time. All I had to do was put one and one together."
"Is it really that obvious?" The older secretary gently rubs her arm.
"Don't worry, the others are not like me. From your reaction, though, I take it he doesn't know yet?" Donna just shakes her head for answer.
"You know he should."
"I know. But it's hard."
"Oh, Red,.." she takes her for a hug "At least it will never be boring with you guys around. Now don't look at me so doubting! That's finally good news in all this chaos. And before you ask, yes, of course I'll keep it to myself. But you shouldn't."
It feels so unreal. She still can't believe that this is really happening. It feels like a dream but this little grey point surrounded by a big black bubble is her little wonder. The soft pulsation she sees is her child's heartbeat. She thought it was to early to actually see something but this appointment told her otherwise. She can't be more thankful for Rachel recommending Dr. Montgomery, because "she has the most modern technology and best qualification in New York". The gorgeous red headed woman seems very nice, empathetic and well educated. Also she didn't even rises an eyebrow, when Donna doesn't answer her the question of why she hasn't brought the baby daddy. That was a whole other story Donna wasn't ready to dig into and she seems to understand. Also she proofed a lot patience when she assured her for the 100th time, that, at this point, everything seems to be okay with the baby. This first ultrasound lifts a large part of the burden off her shoulders. Donna suddenly feels a ton lighter. She asks a few more questions (mostly things Rachel wrote down for her) and then they set up the next appointment in a few weeks. At this point, she will have passed the first trimester and thus the critical period. She can't wait to for it.
But when she leaves the doctor's practice and takes her phone she has already 5 missed calls (one from Rachel, one from Gretchen, three from Louis). Her heart drops to her knees before she can even listen to the voicemail Gretchen left. Without hesitation she orders a cab to the court.
Thanks for reading part 9 :) I know you are waiting for Harvey to find out - me too! Actually I planned to include this here but sometimes it just works out different. To be honest: I had a bad week so far (winter depression is kicking in, I think) so I'm glad I have a chapter to publish at all. But I'm very excited for the next one, so, please, keep curious about it.
PS: I think some of you might get of whom I thought of, when I wrote about Donna's doctor :) Please leave a comment if you love Addison Montgomery as much as I do!