When Mike had left him in his apartment he felt empty. It was the same feeling that had hunt him for weeks but now he couldn't hide from it anymore. His work was done, the trial was over, everything was decided. Mike had impeded him from doing the right. There was nothing left for him to do. When he had felt like that before, Donna had always been there. She had always been at his side when he needed her. So he grabbed the bottle of exquisite wine, he once had brought as a birthday present for her and made his way to her. He wasn't convinced it was the right thing to do. He wasn't even sure if she would let him in but even waiting outside her door would be better than to stay here. When he saw a familiar face at her front door he froze. Mike seemed much more serious than half an hour ago when he had left Harvey's. What was he doing here at all? What could be so important that he let Rachel wait? Then he heard what his friends were arguing about and the expensive bottle slipped out of his trembling hand.
"What did he just said?" he whispers. Harvey's standing there, thunderstruck. "You'll have to tell him now, if you don't want your kid to grow up without a dad." His mind is still a long way from processing what his ears have just heard, but from the way his heart is about to explode in his chest, he senses that the information has already arrived there. His jaw is working but he can't get another word out. He just stares at Donna while she can't help but stare back.
Mike has never felt so uncomfortable and out of place. The tension between Donna and Harvey leaves no room for a third person. He knows he's done enough damage already. Now it's up to the two of them to put the pieces together. He feels guilty but he knows his apologies would end in smoke, unheard. His friends have enough to deal with now, without him begging for their forgiveness because he betrayed their friendship. So without them noticing him, he murmurs a farewell greeting and makes his way home in a hurry.
After what has felt like minutes of silence, Donna is the first to move again. She steps aside a bit, just enough to open the entrance. With a nod of her head, she invites Harvey in. Without a word, he storms past her into the apartment. In the middle of the room he suddenly stops, unsure what to do now. Donna goes to the kitchen counter and takes two glasses. "Scotch or water?" Harvey just stares at her back, unable to say a word. So she turns to him: "Scotch or water, Harvey?"
"Scotch, I guess."
While Donna takes a bottle of Macallen and some water for herself he goes to the dining table. He's far to restless to sit down so he stays behind the chair and leans on the backrest instead. He's clinging so tightly into the wooden furniture that his knuckles bunch out white. Donna places the whiskey at the table and takes a seat herself. Harvey just stares at the glass in front of him, still unable to react.
"The last time we sat here, I wanted to tell you." Donna finally breaks the silence.
"But you didn't" he notes.
"Harvey, I…"
"You know what? Not enough you haven't told me, no, instead you told Mike?"
"I didn't..."
"How stupid of me! I guess if Mike knows, so does Rachel. Who else? Louis? Jessica?" She flinches because his voice is suddenly cold as ice.
"Calm down! I know I should have told you first. I wanted to but I…"
Suddenly he yells at her: "Come on, Donna! Don't take me for an idiot! You wanted to leave me out of this."
Donna is so surprised by his outburst that she goes into the counterattack: "Don't you dare to blame me for leaving you out. You shut me out for months!"
"Are you really surprised? You left me."
"Great. We're back at this again. You fucked up back then, don't you get it? And right in the moment I decided to give us a chance…"
"A chance? We never had a chance! You left me again, do you remember?"
"Harvey, I couldn't leave you, because you have never let me in. You've builted this wall around yourself and I'm standing outside."
"Says the one that forgot to mention she's pregnant?" His anger has turned to disappointment.
"We're going around in circles here. I didn't tell you, I'm sorry. But now you know."
"Now I know." He bristles with contempt.
"So… What do you think about it?" She asks in a calm, soft voice willing to calm the situation somehow but she fails.
"Am I even supposed to have an opinion about that?"
"Harvey, I don't know if you haven't understood yet but it's your child. I'm pregnant with your child. So: what do you think about that?" He shakes his head. He lost control of his emotions a long time ago and he knows if he doesn't leave now, it will all come crashing out of him. He'll say things he can't take back. But when turns around to leave, it is suddenly Donna who yells in anger.
"Don't you dare leave me like this! When it gets serious, the great Harvey Specter never has the balls he always pretends to have, doesn't he?
"You're making this pretty easy for yourself, don't you? I heard it from Mike so you didn't had to tell me. Now you want me to take it from you to make a decision? That's pathetic." He throws back at her.
"To make this clear once and for all: I have already made my decision. I'm having our baby. Now it's up to you whether you're in it or not."
"My decision? I`m definitely not up for a child support lawsuit, if that's what you're asking. I guess Louis would be stupid enough to fight me on alimony if you ask him to because he admires you so much. Assuming, of course, I'm really the father. I'm probably just the most lucrative option."
The moment the words are out he knows he fucked up. He let his temper get the best of him. By the look in Donnas face he realises she would never forgive him for this.
"You know what, Harvey? You're right, it's actually my decision. Don't worry, you'll never have to deal with me or this child. Do whatever you want but you will never talk to me like that again. In fact, you'll never talk to me again, at all. And consider this my resignation. I'm pretty sure Louis would love to take me back. Get the hell out of here, now!"
Donna has never been this outraged. She fires the words at him like bullets. She can't explain it to herself, but somehow she manages to turn the pain into anger. She thought she had prepared herself for any probable of his reaction, but she never had imagined something like this. He had deeply disappointed her, insulted her and had thrown mud at her. He called her a greedy bitch. Never before has she been so offended. Never before had she felt so dirty. Never before has anyone taken away her pride. She has never been hurt so deeply by someone who means so much to her.
She turns on her heels and rushes to her bedroom. When she hears the door shut after Harvey has left, she bursts into tears.
The second the door slams shut behind him, he senses an old familiar enemy approaching. It forms in his stomach and then spreads. First, it slowly creeps up his throat, into his arms and legs. His muscles tremble and he begins to sweat. Suddenly it reaches his lungs. His breathing is rapid and uneven. He has to loosen his tie to reach for air. His heart is racing. With all his strength he clings to the door handle before the panic attack brings him to his knees.
I'm sorry that you had to wait so long but I'm very busy at the moment. I know it's a bit short but I think it's definitely intense... I know you guys were expecting something different but there are still some thing to tell for me left before we can reach a happy end :)