To get in the right mood for reading this chapter you should listen to Waves by Dean Lewis (the one and only #Darvey song in my opinion. :)
She recognizes the song as soon as the first note is played. She flinches. Who the hell picked that song? It's her song, their song. Nobody else knows about this. Suddenly she sees a sparkle in his eyes. Of course, it was him, who else?
There is a swelling storm
And I'm caught up in the middle of it all
And it takes control
Of the person that I thought I was
The boy I used to know
He takes her and lays his hand gentle on her waist. She breathes hard, trying to ignore her raising heartbeat.
But there is a light
In the dark, and I feel its warmth
In my hands and my heart
Why can't I hold on?
Slowly he begins to move and she lets him do it. They move to the slow beat as a unit.
It comes and goes in waves
It always does, always does
We watch as our young hearts fade
Into the flood, into the flood
His grip gradually tightens, but his movements get softer and his gaze more intense. Why is it suddenly so hard to breath?
And the freedom of falling
The feeling I thought was set in stone
It slips through my fingers
I'm trying hard to let go
With every turn the smell of her scent reaches his nose and he gets goose bumps.
It comes and goes in waves
It comes and goes in waves
And carries us away
Even though she resists, she can feel herself getting lost in his deep brown eyes. Such eyes should be banned! How often has she tried to read in this dark pupils?
Through the wind
Down to the place we used to lay when we were kids
Memories of a stolen place
Caught in the silence
An echo lost in space
The distance between them is getting smaller and smaller. They feel like two magnets that can't fight their force of attraction any longer. He's sure she can hear his heart nearly exploding in his chest.
It comes and goes in waves
It always does, it always does
We watch as our young hearts fade
Into the flood, into the flood
As the music gets more intense, so gets the tension between them. She feels how his hand wanders from her waist to her naked back. His hand on her skin feels so wrong and so right at once, like a fire that warms and burns at the same time.
The freedom of falling
A feeling I thought was set in stone
It slips through my fingers
I'm trying hard to let go
Just before she goes completely crazy, the singer's voice suddenly sounds again: "The dance floor is open!" She uses the excitement as the others begin to dance to push Harvey away from her. He just looks at her questioningly, actually disappointed, but she doesn't let that bother her and flights. Without thinking about it, he rushes after her.
It comes and goes in waves
It comes and goes in waves
And carries us away
When she reaches the restroom she still hears the music playing. She tries to cool down the burning heat inside her with some cold water when the door bursts open.
"Harvey, let me alone." But he doesn't. Instead he closes the door and leans on it.
I watched my wild youth
Disappear in front of my eyes
Moments of magic and wonder
It seems so hard to find
"Why are you running away?"
"Do you really have to ask?"
"Donna, what the hell is going on between us?"
Is it ever coming back again?
Is it ever coming back again?
Take me back to the feeling when
Everything was left to find
"You know exactly what happened. You said those things to me."
"I'm so sorry, I really am. I don't know why I said those horrible things..."
"And you want me to explain it to you? Fine! The thought of having a child is the absolute nightmare for you and then with a woman for whom you seem to have no respect at all. You think I'm a greedy bitch and you know what? I have absolutely no intention to proof you anything else."
It comes and goes in waves
It always does, oh it always does
Donna tries to leave the bathroom but he grabs her wrist.
"You're right, I'm freaking out when I think about this child. But you're wrong about the other thing. There's no one I respect more than you."
And the freedom of falling
A feeling I thought was set in stone
It slips through my fingers
I'm trying hard to let go
"Do you really thing I believe in any word you say after all that happened? I thought I made myself clear yesterday: I. WON'T. TALK. TO. YOU. EVER. AGAIN! Got it?" she yells at him.
It comes and goes in waves
It comes and goes in waves
And carries us away
But before she gets the chance to release her hand from his grip, his lips are on her hers. She is so completely caught off guard that she is unable to make a move at first. But only a moment later she realizes what was going on here: Harvey fucking Specter is kissing her! Now she reacts immediately: her free hand slams into his face. Frightened, he immediately lets her go and she pushes him away.
"Are you completely nuts now?" Without another look at him, she rushes outside.
At the same time, two people are sitting at the table pretty lonely. While Thomas is still looking in the crowd for Donnas' red hair. Paula on the other hand saw how Harvey has looked at Donna, how she has pushed him away and how they both disappeared towards the bathroom. Suddenly she gets an idea of what's really going on here.
"So, you're a friend of Donna's?"
"I hope so. I'm Thomas Kessler. And you're dating Donna's boss?"
"No, I'm not. He just asked me to accompany him tonight. It's Paula, by the way."
"Paula, nice to meet you."
"That was a really nice wedding, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, it was. I just hope Donna comes back soon. It's a little weird when you don't quite know anybody. But Mr. Specter must be a really good dancer as long as those two are gone."
"So you don't know the bride and groom either?"
"No. I just know Mr. Litt who's my lawyer and Donna. Actually I don't know her either, considering the fact we first met only hours ago."
"Wow, that's brave! At least I've known Harvey for some weeks. Excuse me for asking, but why are you escorting someone you don't know to a wedding?"
"I understand your reaction, I was honestly quite surprised by her invitation too. But I like her. Besides, she really needed a plus one. Even if she didn't admit it, she's avoiding someone here, I think."
"Oh, that's really interesting", she just nods, because all of a sudden she's pretty sure what's going on here. In fact, this evening provided her with exactly the answer she was looking for. After all, the question was not what triggered these strong emotions in her patient, but who did. She thinks, she gets it now.
"Donna, there you are!" Although she gives her best, her smile doesn't reach her eyes. But Thomas grinned enough for both of them and he does not notice her agitation.
"May I ask you to dance with me too?" She knows he wouldn't take no for an answer so she accepted.
Although she tries to resist, she can't help but compare the dance to the one she had before. Haven't Harvey's movements been smoother? Weren't his hands warmer? Or was that just the heat of his touch on her skin? Harvey smelles so very different from Thomas: much more intense, masculine, natural - and familiar. Why does this idiot keep creeping into her thoughts? Why can't she just concentrate on her good looking companion? A man who seems genuinely interested in her. A man who doesn't drive her crazy. A man who doesn't rock her world with every touch. A man who doesn't just kiss her but isn't able to show her what the hell that means.
So she makes a decision: instead of continuing to worry about something that she probably never gets an answer to. It is now time to move forward. All the events of recent times had shown her one thing: Harvey was definitely part of her past and is still very present in her today. But she won't let him wreck her future. He's caused enough chaos now, and it's time to do something about it. I don't know if Thomas could actually be the right guy for it, but he was definitely the right guy for tonight.
Harvey on the other hand was about to puke. He tries to get involved in the conversations with the other guests, but his mind is somewhere else. His eyes are constantly searching for Donna's red hair, but every time he discovers it, it keeps his throat shut. That fucking snob seems to be sticking at her. If he's not dancing with her, his arm is around her shoulder or he's nesting around her wrist. She'd always told him she'd find it terrible when a man was so clingy, but with this guy, she actually seems to enjoy it. She plays with her hair, puts her hand on his and gives him a smile that feels like a punch in Harvey's stomach. Eventually he gives up trying to hide his anger. Instead, he decides to silence his thoughts with alcohol.
Paula watches the situation anxiously. By now it was past midnight and there were only a few guests left. Rachel and Mike were so focused on each other that they wouldn't notice if their best man was present or not anyway. However, if Harvey continues to drink at this rate, he would be setting himself up for an unpleasant escalation, that is for sure. So she finally decides to take Harvey home.
"What are ye' doin'?" he prattles when she hands him his jacket.
"I'm heading home, I'm tired."
"Then I call Ray. He'll pick ye' up aaand drive ye' home." She raises an eyebrow.
"Harvey, I think it's better for you to accompany me. It's been a long day."
"So, ye' want me to join ye'?" There wasn't much left of the seducing Specter-smile.
"I don't think so. You'll go home and I'll go to my place" she sighs.
"We should say good-bye to Mike n' Rachel."
"It's okay. They're busy with each other"
She really doesn't want to waist another minute here, especially now when she notices Donna and Thomas in the corner of her eyes. So she gently pushes him to the door, before he can get a glimpse at them. But he stops her and whispers in her ear: "Are ye' sure ye' don't want me to bring you home? Ye' have no idea what you're missin' out… "
Suddenly he's getting closer and closer to her face. His alcoholic breath strikes her face and he tries to press his lips on hers. Under other circumstances, she would push him away with all her power, but she doesn't. She only feels pity for him and she wants to avoid drawing Donna's attention to the situation. That's why she thrusts him away very gently.
"Harvey, we both know, we don't really want this. Not to mention that this would be a fault. That's not a date, remember?"
He breaths hard, realising in his dizzy mind that his therapist was right: of course he doesn't want this. There is only one person he ever wanted to kiss badly has slapped him for this just hours ago. Instead he takes Paula's arm and she guides him to the car that was already waiting outside. Paula is relieved but only for a second: then she feels Donna's gaze in her back and when she gives her a final look she sees the disappointment in her eyes. Obviously she has seen the kiss. Hell! How can two grown-ups act so childish? If she was looking for a new research project, she would have found it. The interaction between the two is a real treasure trove for a psychologist to fill books with.