! Trigger warning !
This chapter deals with abuse and violence. If you can't handle that, please skip the first section and read just paragraph 2 & 3.
"It has been a wonderful evening. It's always a pleasure to spend time with you."
"Thomas, please stop it."
"Why? You're an amazing woman and I can't stop reminding you of that."
She's blushing. Although she is very flattered by all his compliments, she feels uncomfortable. In the last week, they met almost daily. They went for a coffee or dinner and really spend a lot of time together. Thomas is a good man, he really is, but still, it has been clear to her from the beginning that she is definitely not looking for a relationship at this time – she doesn't want a man at all. If there is something as 'right guy, wrong time', this is probably the best example. If they had met 4 months ago, if she hadn't spent that faithful night with Harvey, if she wasn't pregnant… but she is. And she is, despite all circumstances, happy about that. But she hasn't told him yet.
"Thomas, would you come with me upstairs?" she asks, when the cab arrives at her building. The sparkle in his eyes makes her sick to her stomach. Apparently he misunderstood her invitation completely. So far she has been able to fend off all his advances but she knows she can't keep him in suspense any longer. Partly it was because she didn't want to raise his hopes for a future together but mostly it was because she could not even think of such a thing as intimacy with Thomas, while she is carrying someone else's child. It would be as if she was cheating on both men at the same time, although one of them didn't even deserve that much loyalty after everything that has happened.
"Can I offer you something to drink?" She has no idea how to start the conversation. It's not fair to keep him hoping for something that's not going to happen. She knows, she will disappoint him but they have to talk – now. So she offers him a seat next to her and a glass of Macallen. In the past, she would never have offered that whiskey to anyone else but Harvey, it was always meant for him - but things had changed.
She tries hard to avoid Thomas' gaze. Then she clears her throat.
"Thomas, we need to talk. There is something I should have told you from the beginning, but I didn't. I'm very sorry about that."
"Uhhh, that sounds serious." He gives her an amused smile. Normally he shows more empathy but that's not his first glass of Scotch tonight.
"Yeah, it is. I don't know where to start, but…"
"So that may be a sign to delay this conversation to the morning and enjoy the night." Without seeing Donna's angry gaze, he moves closer to her. This improper reaction to a serious conversation is so unlikely for him, that she doesn't know how to react. Suddenly he tries to kiss her und she can smell the alcohol in his breathe. When dry lips meet hers she gently tries to push him away but he doesn't respond to her gesture at all. Before the situation escalates completely, she tries to persuade him to reason.
"No! Thomas, no!" This time, he lets go of her immediately.
"What is wrong with you?" he asks angry.
"Excuse me? You're the one who tried to kiss me out of nowhere."
"Seriously? We're dating for weeks now and you invited me in. What else was that supposed to mean?"
"That's exactly what I wanted to talk about."
"So, then talk." Although she had expected that this conversation won't be easy, she's surprised by his angry tone. She knows she should comfort him a little.
"Thomas, you're an amazing men. When I met you I was at my lowest point and you cheered me up and I am really happy, when I am with you. But I wasn't 100% honest to you."
"So what is it? Are you married?" This sneering tone is so unlike him. She moves further away from him.
"No, I'm not married. But right now, I'm at a point in my life where I'm not ready for a relationship. It's not about you… I know that sounds terrible but it's true. It's just about me."
"So, there is another guy?" He asks with his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"No, not really. Actually there was someone but he's not the reason. It's just… I can't build up a future with you."
"You can't be serious!" He gets up from the sofa and runs around her apartment upset.
"Thomas, please calm down. I'm very sorry, if there was a misunderstanding…"
"A MISSUNDERSTANDING?", he yells at her. Now she's getting very uncomfortable with the situation. She also gets up to be on a par with him. She intertwines her arms in front of her chest to take a defensive position, but the whole thing backfires and Thomas gets completely upset. Furious he grabs her by the upper arms.
"Who do you think you are? For weeks, I've let you hold me back. I'm not a toy to throw away when it gets boring!" His outburst is panicking her. Still, she tries to breathe calmly. Carefully she tries to get out of his grip.
"Thomas, please, let go of me. I'm very sorry, I really am. I know, you are a good man, but…" His gaze is getting even darker.
"You have no idea, what kind of man I really am." Suddenly he slaps her face and she falls back on the sofa. He's pressing his face against hers. The alcohol in his breath is fogging her senses. She wants to scream, but her throat is tied up. Just as he tries to press his lips on her mouth, there's a knock on the door. Thomas is so surprised that he loosens his grip for a second. Donna takes advantage of this moment and kicks between his legs so hard, he loses his balance and falls into the glass table. She rushes to the door and rips it open. But the one who stands now in front of her, she has not expected.
Trigger warning end.
After he has left Dr. Agard he is on his way to Danbury. He has contacted Sean Cahill and the first time in forever it seemes like he has really found a way to get Mike out of there. Unfortunately, he did the math without his protegé. Mike refuses to betray his cellmate and they get into a fight.
"No, I can't do that to him. Gallo will kill him if he's alone in here. Not to mention what Sutter will do if he finds out about that deal."
"Mike, don't you get it? It's your ticket to get out of here? We can protect Kevin."
"We can't. Harvey, I really appreciate your effort but I will not accept that deal. I'm sorry."
"You took Gibs' deal to save me but you won't take one for yourself? That isn't brave, that's stupid."
"I don't want to be a hero. I just can't betray a friend."
"But it was okay for you, that I had betrayed you?"
"How often do we have to go through this: you didn't betray me. I did, what I had to do and I begged you to accept that."
"That went out really well, didn't it?" Harvey is furious. "I should have never let you take this deal. I should have gone myself."
"So, then tell me one thing: why am I sitting at this side of the table?"
"What do you say?"
"Why am I the one in prison? Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you for anything. It's exactly how I wanted things to be. It's just… you were so eager to turn yourself in, so why didn't you?"
"You asked me not to."
"Since when exactly do you listen to anything I say?"
„Mike, you know I'm working day and night to get you out of here."
"You really don't get it, don't you?"
"Mike, I…"
"You were this close of breaking my deal. Donna and I begged you to let it go but you wouldn't listen. I just wanna know what had changed?"
"I was running out of time. I had no idea how to do it."
"You're the best closer in New York." It wasn't an accusation, it was just a statement, but Harvey doesn't know how to answer to it.
"Donna and I spend hours begging and begging but you didn't care. Then you found out about the baby and suddenly you did. Don't you think that this means something?"
"Mike, you're changing the topic. I came here to take you out of prison not to discuss… this"
"Oh shut the fuck up! I'm in here so I this is the only chance for me to discuss THIS with you. I said it once but I will say it again: Harvey, get your shit together! You are going to be a dad. Although you claimed that you didn't want to be involved you proofed yourself wrong. The old Harvey would never have let himself put off his plan. But you aren't the old Harvey anymore. You are a dad now, you have responsibilities and you know it. You don't admit it but that's the only reason I'm the one in here, not you." Harvey isn't able answer. It's the second time today that someone is giving him a telling-off and he isn't used to it. It had always been just one person, who had known him so well, she could get him. But Mike hasn't finished yet. So he takes the chance while his friend is still speechless.
"I have no idea what went wrong between the two of you but I can see that you're still hurting. And from everything Rachel told me, I know that she is hurting too. The two of you are chasing around each other for years. Now, you'll become parents. Can there be a better timing to finally admit, what we all know is there for years?" Harvey swallows hard. Normally, he would yell at Mike: What is he thinking, to interfere in his private life like that? But how could he? After all, he's right. With everything he just said.
"I don't think she feels the same. She's still dating that guy from your wedding. And she left to work for Louis. This time it's for real. She won't come back to me."
Mike leans back in his seat and rises an eyebrow: "No, you're right: If you keep waiting for things to change, then she's probably gone." Then his tone gets softer and he gives his friend a cheerful look.
"But it's not to late to take care of it yourself! Do I actually have to kick your ass or will you leave now and finally get your life together?"
The first thing he feels, when he sees the two in there, is anger. Anger at himself, for hoping Thomas might have gone. Anger at Mike for giving him this stupid advice. Anger at Thomas for his existence. Then he sees Donna's shocked face and he suddenly realises that something is wrong. His anger changes into concern, when he senses the pure panic in her eyes.
"Donna, what's wrong?" Suddenly she feels the hot tears, she has hold back the whole time, streaming down her face. Her voice is trembling and she can't say a word. Carefully Harvey takes her cheek to wipe off the tears with his thumb. Then he recognizes the red stripes on her face and sheer rage overtakes him. He passes by her and runs towards Thomas. Without warning, he beats him down with the whole fist. He ends up again in the pile of junk that was once the table. Blood gushes out of his nose and from the countless cuts left by the glass. But Harvey doesn't care. He lunges at him and hits him again. And one more time. Never in his life has he hated a person as much as that guy. He doesn't know what exactly has happened, but it doesn't matter. Donna's face and the condition of her apartment tell him enough.
"Harvey, stop it! It's enough!" Donna cries but he doesn't listen. Thomas tries to push him away but Harvey's anger empowers him. Just as he strikes out again, he hears a moan behind him. When he turns around, he sees that Donna has turned pale. He jumps up just in time to prevent her from falling in the pieces of broken glass too, when she suddenly collapses unconscious.
First of all: I'm incredibly sorry that it took me so long to update. I had a lot going on and I just didn't feel like writing. Anyway this chapter turned out to become one of my favorites. I know it's very intense and I have to admit it wasn't planned that way in the begining but I hope you like it too.
I can't promise to update more regular but I'll try to. xoxo