Disclaimer: Don't own Namco, although if I did, I would have money... something I need...
No. He would refuse this time. Nothing could make him do such a horrendous thing. Why, the more he thought about it, the worse it seemed. It was against his very soul, his philosophy of life. He would downright refuse to give baby Zelos a bath.
"Come on, won't you help me give Zelos a bath?" Lloyd and Colette's oldest son, Kratos, pleaded with his grandfather. The last time Kratos had given Zelos a bath, he ended up with a bright pink stain on his favorite shirt because Zelos threw some coagulated shampoo at him. His grandson had no chance of swaying him this time.
"You know I hate giving your siblings baths," Kratos reasoned with the teenager, "It's dangerous work, and I'm not doing it." The younger Kratos put on his darkest expression (something he had been perfecting for several years) and glared at his grandfather. He had a whole routine down, and it worked on almost everyone. First he unnerved them with his evil stare, then he twitched his lip dangerously. If that didn't get them, he would add in a low 'humph'. However, his grandfather still did not agree to bathe the murderous little Zelos, so younger Kratos was forced to try and sort things out by talking, something he despised.
"You fought in the Karlan war and were strong enough to be one of Mithos' companions," He grumbled, "Giving this three-year-old a bath should be trifle, correct?" That got his grandfather. The older Kratos looked annoyed.
"Fine," He said, looking angrily at the boy. He had let himself be swayed. He was stuck bathing the miniature monster.
And little Zelos was a monster. When he finally got in the bath (that took ten minutes because he was convinced 'Bubbles' was hiding in the faucet) he wanted to play with all the silver chains on the younger Kratos' black pants (that took ten more minutes to persuade him that he didn't really want the chains). Then he constantly asked what 'Salvation' meant (the younger Kratos kept on saying that it was his favorite band for at least ten minutes), and screamed loudly whenever they tried to wash him. Finally both Kratoses (thoroughly covered in soap that would take at least ten more minutes to scrub off) threw down in towel (literally) and walked from the bathroom, leaving the surly little toddler to dry his own self off.
Kratos walked into his room, where he made to take off his soapy clothes and throw them into his hamper. However, to his horror, little Zelos had somehow dried himself in the speed of light, ran into Kratos' room and flopped down on the bed where he avidly poured over the pages of one of his older namesake's magazines (Playboy). Kratos stared in horror at the little child, who was also garbed in Kratos' all-time favorite bathrobe, a bright red one with golden fringe that Anna had given him. Of course the bathrobe was about four feet too long for the child, and it draped over him like a throw rug.
"Hi Gampy!" Zelos exclaimed joyously. Kratos' eye twitched for a few moments, until he forcefully smiled back at the child.
"How 'bout you take off my robe, put on your own and go somewhere else… like Daddy and Mommy's room?" he asked almost threateningly. However, Zelos did not pick up on his grandfather's mood, and happily trotted out the room stark naked, leaving the bathrobe sadly crumpled on the floor. He's got to be the weirdest kid I've ever met, Kratos thought, looking stunned at the place where the kid had been moments before. And that's including Lloyd.
The younger Kratos sat in his room, which was littered with old clothes and candy bar wrappers. Posters of gothic looking people were plastered everywhere across the wall, and his dresser was covered with shredded and crumpled paper with some faded pictures of Simon when he was a kitten. His sheets were tousled and his lampshade was askew, and when did that lava lamp last work? Three years ago? His room was the classic teenage boy disaster zone. But missing one thing.
There was no sign that anyone other than Kratos really stepped foot in that room. There were no letters from friends, gifts from friends, no pictures of friends. Well, the truth was that Kratos didn't really have any friends. When he was young and his family of three had started traveling, they would stay in ports longer and he would play with the other children his age. However, he never really got to see them again, traveling around the world on a boat wasn't a very normal life, and no sane parent was going to let their child sail around on a boat for a year with a slightly eccentric family without them. So Kratos really had no friends and had never had friends. But deep down, he really wanted friends. Friends that were like him, thought like him, acted like him. He would nearly kill for friends. And that's why he nearly jumped for joy when his mother read aloud a letter from Yuan, who was supposed to meet them at the Thoda Geyser in a few days.
Dear Irvings,
Thank you for the kind invitation to spend a month on your boat. However, I am only available for a short while, and I've decided that I can only really stay a week. You may drop me off at Izoold.
I am currently sheltering a thirteen-year-old girl at my house. I know this sounds kind of unusual for me, but I felt sorry for her because she was living alone on the streets of Meltokio, and her parents were killed exsphere victims, and she needed a place to stay. So I've taken her in (though it's only temporary until the orphanage finds a good permanent home for her). I cannot leave her when I come to stay on the boat with you, so I will bring her, if it isn't too much of a hassle. I will try and make her be cooperative, though she can be stubborn sometimes (teenagers).
Well, have a good sail up to Thoda Geyser, where I hope to see you.
Yours truly,
Yuan
Colette looked brightly at everyone.
"This is wonderful! Yuan is coming, and he's bringing a girl that he is…" Colette checked the letter for the phrase, "Currently sheltering!" Kratos wasn't sure if Colette knew what 'currently sheltering' meant, but if one million kids came walking onto the boat, Kratos would bet his sword that Colette would take them all in with a smile.
That night, dinner was some tasteless noodles with a very thick cream sauce. Kratos guessed that it wasn't up to it's usual standard because Sheena was cooking; she said that she didn't know how to cook anything but Miso soup, which they had had for lunch. The friends ate the noodles without complaint though; they weren't that hungry anyway.
The older Kratos was still happy even though the dinner was rather bland. His companion, Yuan, was coming on the boat shortly! Someone like him, someone to share his suffering! Someone that could be frightened of little kids with him! He waited for the day that Yuan came with glee.
The younger Kratos was also delighted about Yuan coming, though not for the same reason. A teenager his age was coming! He could talk to them about teenager stuff, listen to music, and rant about how annoying the little kids were! He could be himself at last! He walked into his bedroom and fell onto his bed happily without bothering to undress.
So both Kratoses fell asleep with happiness in their hearts. And next door, Lloyd was fighting a dangerous war with little Zelos, trying to force some pajama pants on his stubbornly naked body.
Sari: Yay! YUAN! –glomps Yuan-Moo: ...