Our Place in the Food Chain: Part XXXIV

"Just how far is this supposed to be?" Bonnie snarled, hobbling along in her flats. The trail was rather rocky and she was well past regretting wearing those particular shoes. She could wear high heels for hours at a time, but that was on even ground like the mall or school. This, however…

"Just a few miles. We'll be there in no time." Ron said cheerfully, not even winded despite carrying the two (heavy) suitcases for her.

"A few miles? Okay, that's it!" She sat down on the side of the trail, crossing her arms and glaring at Ron.

Oh, this was going to be a riot Ron thought, grinning at her.

"Well, you can sit here all you want, Bon-bon, but I'm willing to bet you're already getting a little hungry and the Master Lunch Lady, Nooni-san has been bringing me some bon-diggity good food while I've been here. Though, if you just want to sit here and stew, I guess I'll just run on ahead and have my own dinner."

"Why don't you do that, Stoppable and send down a car or something. I'm not budging."

"Suit yourself, but I'd take a look at the trail you're sitting on. They do things the traditional way up here and that means they don't use wheels. In ancient times the only vehicle that had wheels was a special carriage for the Emperor. Otherwise, wheels would do too much damage to the roads."

"Gee, thanks for the history lesson, Ron, but it's two thousand-five and nobody cares about that so go get me some transportation." She uncrossed then re-crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes even further at her blonde-haired tormentor.

"History or not, Bonnie, every single person up there at the school got there on foot. See, I'm also being a gentleman for you and carrying your stuff. I really don't mind." He hefted one of them. "See, I've actually got pecs."

"I'm thrilled. Should I alert the media or should I get some Band-Aids for those mosquito bites? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm thinking about K." She stood up and leaned a little closer to him. "Hmm, well, I'll be, you actually have a bigger chest than her now, though that's not saying much, is it?"

Ron shook his head and started up the trail. "I'll let that go because I know better." He said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Okay, whoa, TMI territory here." Despite herself she was following him up the trail. "The last thing I need to discuss is how you and K are smacking hips."

"You still on about that Bonnie? Has it occurred to you that some people are actually saving themselves for marriage? That maybe Kim and I are holding off on that?"

"I don't see why? Get with the twenty-first century, Stoppable."

"You first, oh Ice Queen." He said, shaking his head again.

Bonnie growled audibly, though at least he had her walking with him. She was going to be real fun when they got to the really steep stuff.

"So, now that I've kind of got you as a captive audience, why exactly are you here?" Ron asked, wrapping an arm around one of the suitcases. Improved stamina or not, he was going to be hurting by the time they got to the school, especially as long as Bonnie was taking on the trail.

"I got my name read by Barkin, it's an excuse to pass on Thanksgivings with Connie and Lonnie. I'll take it. Or I did before I knew we were going to be filming the Japanese version of 'Deliverance.'" She said testily.

"See, that's what I don't get. Kim and I were figuring having another student was just a ploy to bring Kim over here, see how we work together and all…"

"You mean so they could see how the two of you spend all your free time making out."

Ron let that slide, partially because it was true. "We were shocked when Barkin said your name but the most interesting thing is how you reacted. You sat there like you were the cat that ate the canary. Something is up and you know about it. You were expecting it."

"Okay, Ron, you've got me. Hirotaka and I have been secretly married and they have to get me up here for their fertility festival so we can consummate our love and start bearing sons."

He raised his eyebrow at her, considering what Kim told her the last time it was a distinct possibility.

"I'm so kidding. I only just turned eighteen, I'm not getting married for seven or eight years, if that soon."

"Gee, at this rate Bon-bon, you'll be lucky to have a guy by the time you're thirty." His bit his lip, wishing he hadn't said that. It literally was sinking to her level. He risked a look back at her, though her glare wasn't any different. No, it actually seemed a little softer, a little sadder. That only made him feel worse for saying it.

"Anyway, I just thought it was really cool to be picked. I have been exchanging letters with Hirotaka, maybe he put in a good word with this headmaster guy and he really does want to see me again."

Ron nodded. "That sounds good, but I don't think so."

"What, he's got a girlfriend there? Well, that's his prerogative, though he never mentioned anyone in his letters."

"No, Bonnie, I don't think it's that. There aren't too many girls at the school and they are so over fawning over him like sheep." Okay, that was another cut, but it was a wide shot that included anyone at Middleton High School of the female persuasion. "Once we get there, I think you're going to be a whole lot more confused. I know I was, at first."

"What, we're going to get there and you're going to reveal that the school is actually a super-secret Ninja training ground?"

"Uh…"

Bonnie stopped dead in her tracks. "You are kidding me, right? You are so kidding me."

Ron rubbed the back of his neck, staring up at the afternoon sky.

"Oh, now that's it then. They did mean to call your girlfriend and pick her brains on her 'sixteen kinds of kung-fu.'" She said, making air quotes. "Somebody must have switched the names or something. If you're telling me the truth…"

"I haven't told you anything, Bonnie."

"You didn't deny it either. I saw that look on your face when I said Ninja school. That's just the sort of whack thing you and K would get involved in. Just like that new boyfriend of hers she had temping while you were away. Turns out he's the son of one of those nasty freaks you fight and he wanted some payback."

"Won't work, Bonnie, cause I know all about Cary."

"Uh, how? Not that it matters, what matters is that she got into a car alone with him on Friday night and when has Kim ever passed up a chance to go out with you on Fridays, even before the two of you admitted you were dating?" She thought she'd twist the knife a little more. "I bet she really is the one who put him in the hospital, no matter what the police think."

Ron shook his head. Bonnie was desperately trying to play him. Why, he couldn't imagine. There they were, thousands of miles from home, further away from the nearest village than they were the school, two people who were generally rivals if not outright enemies yet she still was trying to battle for supremacy by cutting the legs out from under her opponent.

Then it dawned on him, she was deflecting attention from the real matter at hand.

"Yeah, switching the names does make a lot of sense. Maybe it was supposed to be Kim but Cary wanted to keep her there for as long as he could while I was gone so he could try something. Too bad he didn't figure on what Kim and I have."

"What do you have, loser? A semi-hottie who can't get dates with normal guys who settles for you until she can actually find somebody better?"

"See, Bonnie, that's where you don't get it. You think that by cutting the two of us down, you build yourself up. Does it even matter that you are a smokin' hottie by yourself?"

"You think I'm hot?"

"S'ha! At least until you open your mouth. See, Kim's a hottie cause she looks that way, cause she acts that way, cause she's Kim. You, on the other hand, just poison what God gave you with your…witchiness. Oh, and for your information, I've got a bon-diggity girlfriend, she's got me, we're probably going to spend the rest of our lives together. She's got me doing things I never thought I'd be able to do…and no, not dirty things like you're thinking of. Then let's see, you haven't had a steady boyfriend since Brick dumped you for good last spring, you scare off most of the guys and, oh, by the way you even had the bad-guy calling you that-which-rhymes-with-witch. I guess if I really am a loser then it's pure PKB."

"Okay, I don't talk like that Jenkins girl." Bonnie said testily.

"Pot calling the Kettle Black. If I'm a loser, then you're an even bigger one."

"Fine. You're not a loser. You're still weird and so is your girlfriend."

"That's okay with me. Never be normal is my motto!" He proclaimed, trying to hold a hand to his chest and raising the other, though the effect was partially ruined by the two suitcases. "You know, Bonnie, soft side luggage with carrying straps is so this century."

She grinned at him. "I don't care. Do you see me hauling them up this mountain?"

He gave her a look that said she just might be doing that, but he didn't want to risk her sitting down again, especially considering what he had noticed over the last mile of trail.

Bonnie must have noticed as well. "So, are these super-secret ninjas in the habit of spying on everyone who climbs this trail?"

"You see him too? Cool, I thought I was the only one. Either they don't teach them to spot things like this up there, or they've been playing me, but every time I've been on this road somebody's been shadowing me. He's good, too but not good enough since I've seen him. Maybe he's getting sloppy since you saw him."

"So, what's the deal?"

"I'm not sure. First couple times I thought he might be somebody I know. Couple years ago there was one student who really had it in for me. Turned out it wasn't just me, he betrayed the whole school to Monkey Fist."

"Ug, more freaks." Bonnie said testily.

"Well, the more I thought about it, the more I realized he wasn't going to be around. He's probably still in a lock-up down in Belize from the last time we spanked the Monkey."

"You what?" Bonnie shrieked.

"Uh, that came out wrong."

"Ye-ah." She shook her head at him.

"So, somebody said something to me last week that got me to thinking. Turns out the guy had a little brother, a brother who is still at the school. So now I'm thinking Kim's not the only one with vengeful family members out for blood." Ron stopped and turned around, facing a stand of trees bracketing the trail behind them. "Isn't that right, Hayata?"

Bonnie turned and looked where Ron was. She blinked and realized she was looking directly at a boy of about fifteen or sixteen, dressed in a ninja-suit of mottled greens and tans.

What neither of them had noticed before was that he was actually armed. The short, straight sword of the ninja was not the quality weapon as the samurai's katana, but it was still deadly. With modern metal working techniques, it was still a practical, efficient weapon.

"Weren't you supposed to be on a bus for Middleton?" Ron asked.

"I will not be going to your miserable town, outsider. I have remained so I may regain my brother's lost honor, was well as the honor lost by Sensei when you defied him. I care not what sway you have with him, you have polluted our way of life."

"Come off it, man. That kind of 'tude got your big brother's butt whupped, on several separate occasions I might add."

Bonnie looked at the boy, then back to Ron. The latter had an odd smile on his face and had yet to put down the two suitcases. What was he doing? He might be a huge buffoon, but he was the one accustomed to fighting, why wasn't he doing anything?

"You will pay for your insolence, Gaijin dog!" Hayata screamed as he attacked, sword held high.

Bonnie cringed as the razor sharp weapon descended, sure it was going to split Ron's head in two. Instead he casually leaned to the side, letting the weapon pass harmlessly.

They continued their dance. Hayata would attack and Ron would sidestep or duck or twist just so, always just enough so he was not touched. It was a study of grace in motion. She would have been more shocked if she had not seen such a display before.

Back when Brick tried to beat up Hirotaka.

Only, this time it involved a deadly weapon, not a jealous boyfriend. One slip, one miscalculated move and Ron was going to be hurt or worse.

Ron was weird, not the best looking guy in the world and was curiously immune to her barbs. He had only gained his meager status on the food chain by climbing on the coattails of his girlfriend. The boy was the exact opposite of everything she stood for.

Yet, in that instant, she found she really did not want to see him hurt. At least physically.

"Haieeeeee-YAH!" she screamed as she threw the best punch she ever had. Hayata was so intent on Ron that he never saw it coming until it connected with a nerve cluster in his neck. He went down like a sack of potatoes.

Ron looked at her, new appreciation in his eyes. "Where did that come from Bon-bon?"

She shook her hand, understanding why it was that Kim almost always wore gloves while on a mission. "Ballet isn't the only think I've been studying for more than a decade. Where do you think I got to all summer? Ballet camp? I think not."

"You mean?"

"I was at Karate camp. Got my black-belt. Sure came in handy when miss-perfect decided to nail me last summer. If she'd landed that one square I'd have been in the hospital and your precious girlfriend would have been in jail instead of nursing bruised knuckles."

"Oh." He said, pursing his lips and silently whistling.

He walked up to Bonnie and handed her the two suitcases.

"What are you doing, I'm not carrying these the rest of the way just because I saved your butt."

"Bon-bon, first off, I was handling H-boy right here just fine until you got impatient. Secondly, I can't carry your luggage and him, so if you don't want to carry it, I suggest you find a nice safe place to stash it and hope you like wearing a gi without a thong under it."

She growled and hefted her bags, trailing off behind them. Ron simply picked up the boy after tossing the sword and several other hidden weapons into the woods and threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey, wait a minute. How did you know what kind of underwear I had on?"

"I didn't, but I do now." Ron said cheerfully as they climbed.

Ron found thinking about Bonnie to be pleasant for once, imagining her backside under the tight slacks she was wearing. He had to admit it looked fantastic even with them on. He wasn't lying when he said he considered her a huge babe. Hey, he was a guy, he could respect certain things. Didn't mean he was even half considering kissing her or anything like that.

Still, what really dominated his mind was seeing her as a competent fighter. Was that the reason, or part of the reason she had been called here? Or had there really been a switch in the names and he was now missing out on some potential quality time with Kim?

He had another good hour to puzzle those things out as they made their way to the school.

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