Another chapter for you, my readers. But first, answers to reviews
To You/Kai fic fan: Mothers can be a real pain in the ass, luckily there are good times too. I loved writing the end. I was almost crying. I agree with you, I rule! Hmm... gotta slow down with the arrogance.
To Truble: I'm having the feeling that I've responded to your review in some other story but I'm not sure. Anyway, nice to have you reading and reviewing this fic. I thought I would try something different in this fic and not the usual girl falls for guy and another girl comes to screw things up.
To ERALDA: Hey, a new reviewer! (cheers) YAY! Yeah, she finally got her moments with Kai and more is coming. Another one who says this story rocks. I wonder what it is that makes this story so good...
To luvkai: Thank you for the compliment. Tamara doesn't get along with her family so well that's why her "mother's" reaction was so harsh. Keep in mind that they aren't her real family, only her foster-family.
To xCrystalx: Kai is being nice to her, but what is early in the story is quite relative to how soon the end comes. I have planned out the entire story, down to the very last chapter. Anyway, read on and you will find out what happens.
To Torri-Chiobie: I'll write more. I'll also write faster if you review faster.
To the next chapter...
Chapter 4:
Soundtrack: Eternal Flame by Atomic Kitten
I stepped into a small apartment. I held my breathe as I saw how clean everything was.
/I thought guys were messy./
Kai noticed that I had stopped to stare.
"What?" he asked.
"Your place is so... clean," I stated.
"Is it bad?" he asked.
"No, I'm just afraid I'm going to mess up everything," I said and blushed.
"Don't worry about it," he responded.
After this I looked around in the apartment.
We had entered the apartment directly into the living room and to the right was the bathroom. After that the living room continued to the right, ending to a balcony.
Opposite to the balcony, at the other end of the living room was the kitchen.
Next to the kitchen, opposite to the bathroom was the bedroom.
I continued my way back to the kitchen as I smelled food.
"I love onion," I said as I inhaled the good smell.
"Good because this is what you will be eating," he replied.
"Can I do something?" I asked as I was getting a little uncomfortable doing nothing.
"You could set the table," he answered.
I started searching the cupboards for plates, forks, knives and glasses.
There was an awkward silence the whole time, even while we ate.
After we were done I offered to wash the dishes. He shrugged and left the kitchen.
I followed him to the living room after I was done with the dishes. I saw him sitting on the couch and watching TV.
/Should I sit next to him or at the other end/ I wondered.
I decided it was safer not sitting next to him.
I directed my gaze to the TV but I had no idea what I was watching because once again he was all I could think about. He was so close – so close I could touch him.
"Why did you run away?" he asked suddenly.
The question caught me by surprise and it took a while before I could answer.
"My foster-parents aren't too happy about what happened between us," I said. "I get sometimes beaten because I do something they don't approve."
"I haven't noticed," he replied. "Shouldn't there be marks?"
I lifted my shirt without a word from the other side a little to show a big bruise.
I examined his face as he leaned closer to look at it. I shuttered a bit as he traced the lines of the bruise carefully. I felt weak as my heart started beating faster and I gasped for air.
I put my other hand on his shoulder and leaned closer. Two sides of me were fighting. One told me to kiss him the other said it would be a mistake. I knew he was a player but I didn't want to care.
/But what if he just wants me into his bed/ I questioned myself.
Suddenly I felt his lips on mine and every thought erased from my mind as the sweet, addicting sensation came back. I wrapped my arms around him. The trance ended as quickly as it had started when his hand pressed against one of my many bruises and I pulled away when I felt the sudden pain.
I got up and went to the balcony for some fresh air and to clear my thoughts.
/What was I thinking/ I lectured myself. /What if he would've wanted to go further then just kissing/
The thought of things going as far as they could've gone sent both cold and warm shivers up and down my spine. Some part of me wanted it but another part of me was scared.
I turned and went back inside.
"I'm sorry," I said as I came next to him.
No answer.
"Umm... where am I going to sleep?" I asked a little nervously.
Still no answer.
"I can sleep on the couch if that's alright with you?" I suggested.
"Sure," he said finally.
Later it was already dark and I was lying under the covers. I couldn't sleep.
I could hear the rain pouring outside. After a while it soothed me into a restless sleep. A nightmare formed in my head.
Kai had told me to get out and I had to face my foster-parents.
I was screaming and running away from them as I felt someone grab me. I hit the person.
Suddenly my eyes snapped open as someone was shaking me.
I looked around and found Kai holding me.
"Wha..." I mumbled.
"You were screaming in your sleep," he explained, letting go of me.
"Don't," I said.
"Don't what?" he asked.
"Don't let go," I pleaded as I looked into his eyes.
The next morning I woke up into a warm feeling and I was about to fall of a bed as I backed away from what I saw.
/How did I get here/ I asked myself as the events of last night came to my mind.
I looked at Kai. He looked so cute when he was asleep, his bangs falling into his face.
I wanted to touch him, kiss him. I went closer to him but hesitated.
/What if he wants to.../ I reminded myself. /What if he gets the wrong impression/
/Do you feel for me like I feel for you/ I questioned him in my mind. /Or do you just want to use me and then throw me away/
The two sides in me were fighting over control again. /To kiss? Or not to kiss/
The pull was so strong that I couldn't resist it.
I leaned down and kissed him. Soon I felt him respond to the kiss and wrap his hands around my waist carefully. This time I had been ready for that and I didn't flinch as he hit another bruise, making a jolt of pain go through my body. The pain melted away into the amazing sensation that took over my body and mind.
His hands were on my hips and soon after I felt him lifting my nightgown.
My heart skipped a beat and I broke away from the kiss, gasping for air.
"Don't," I said with a serious expression on my face.
Once again there was no reply. I thought I saw confusion reflect from his eyes for a moment but then it was gone and he turned his back on me.
This made me feel guilty. /Maybe I was a little too harsh/
/I knew what he was going to do/ I said to myself. /But what if he really does feel something for me and now I ruined it/
There you have it, chapter 4. I hope you liked it. Please do tell me if someone of you is getting sick of all the fluff and remember to review.