Moo: -holding frying pan- Will you write now?
Sari: Okay, okay! –to a random fan- Yelling "Die" in my face will not help.
Moo: Okay, write write write.
Sari: Yessir! I mean ma'am!
-A random picture of milk being poured on a coyote is shown here, for your enjoyment-
Announcer: ... Today is brought to you by a bunch of musicians Moo hates and Sari singing strange music in front of a place for religious gatherings while planting daffodils.
Moo: It happened, seriously!
Warnings: Learn to speak Pig Latin, my friends.
Disclaimer: We do not own it, beacuse if we didn't, Lloyd would not flirt so shamelessly with Colette. Or maybe he would. It would depend on our moods.
The morning was lovely. Very lovely. Kratos, for the first time in months, had gotten enough sleep.
It was a miracle. He knew it.
Opening one eye, Kratos saw a large number of small children standing silently and patiently in front of him.
"Ood-gay orning-may, ampy-gay!" They all chorused.
"Huh?"
"Ampy-gay is-ay ired-tay," Raine said quickly. "E-hay ants-way ome-say eace-pay."
"What?" Kratos asked, staring at them as they shuffled out of the door. "This is just getting creepy," he said to Simon, who yawned very widely and flicked an ear.
"I-ay ike-lay eggs-ay," Genis said, apparently in deep argument with Kratos the junior.
"Would you just stop it?" Kratos shreiked, plugging his ears.
"Ut-bay, ou-yay aid-say it-ay as-way peak-say ig-pay atin-lay ay-day!"
"I take it all back!"
"Why are they speaking in gibberish?" Kratos the elder asked vaguely, jamming some toast with jam on it into his mouth and promptly spitting it out. "I hate grape!"
"It-ay is-ay ot-nay ibberish-gay!" Raine sqeaked, jamming the toast that had been previously in Kratos' mouth.
"Oh, that's nasty on so many levels." Kratos said, wrinkling his nose.
"HE'S-SAY OING-GAY O-TAY ET-GAY RYSTAFUNGINITIS... cay!" Zelos screeched, managing to make everyone clap their hands over their ears.
"I-ay on't-day
ee-say hat-tay in-ay y-my ook-bay," Raine said vaguely, flipping
through the book she was reading from the ninth day. "Ow-hay o-day
ou-yay pell-say hat-tay?"
"Why are they speaking in
gibberish?" Kratos asked Presea, who had wandered in holding a
strawberry-garnished yogurt. "And why do you get a special
breakfast?"
"Spe... cial? Oh, you mean the yogurt. Genis made it for me." Presea said emotionlessly. "They are not speaking gibberish. They are speaking a fairly basic language created for small children, Pig Latin..."
"Pig... latin." Kratos thought about it for a second. "So it's latin that pigs enjoy speaking?"
"Who knows," Kratos the junior answered.
"But... I don't know it." Kratos said vaguely.
"YOU WHAT?" Kratos
shreiked, standing up and knocking over several bowls. "EVERYONE
KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK PIG LATIN!"
"Um... apparently Kratos
doesn't." Presea said. "I have slight memories of speaking it
with Alicia when we were younger..."
"This is a long, long day," mumbled Raine. "And it's barely even started."
Usually Raine didn't mind the children, even played their games with them, but Raine was an adult, and adults hate pig latin or any other strange language. Most can understand it, but many lose the ability to speak them at some point.
"Yes, I agree," Kratos mumbled, attempting to ignore a wailing Regal in the background who apparantly couldn't figure out how to speak Pig Latin. As the baby hiccupped but kept silent (because the children had apparently made a pact to speak only Pig Latin all day), Colette attempted to soothe him.
"It's okay, it's okay," she said, doing her best but only getting fresh screams out of the tiny child.
"Pig Latin is the most annoying language in creation..." Raine added, her eyelids drooping.
"Yes, I agree." Kratos said, nodding.
"No, Ubbie-dubbie is." Kratos the younger said, flopping into a deck chair like a ragdoll. Kratos the senior admired this for a few seconds, then asked...
"What's ubbie-dubbie?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know," Raine moaned. "During the month when you weren't here, they spoke ubbie-dubbie for one day straight. I never thought it would be more impossible to understand. Ub ub ub ub..."
"Ubbie-dubbie? Let's count our blessings," Colette said, putting the baby down and letting him toddle away. "None of us speak it very well but Lloyd, so he was the only one who understood them."
"It makes me wish I were born later, because none of these idiotic languages were invented when I was born, and I never learned them," Kratos said, hanging his head in his hands.
"Ommy-may! Enis-gay as-hay my-ay ook-bay and-ay on't-way ive-gay it-ay ack-bay!" whined Raine, tugging on Colette's shirt.
"I won't help you unless you stop speaking Pig Latin," Colette said, looking determined.
"Ommy-may, I-ay ROMISED-pay hat-tay I-ay ouldn't-way top-say peaking-say ig-pay atin-lay!"
"You have to or else I won't help get your book back," Colette said, frowning. It wasn't a good face for the angel. She looked a little odd doing so.
"Ut-bay, ut-bay, ut-bay..." the little girl whimpered, making huge puppy-dog eyes. Colette shuddered, trying to resist, and managed to, but barely.
"No. You have to stop speaking Pig Latin." Colette said sternly. Raine left, sniffling.
"This is horrible," Lloyd moaned, massaging his temples. "I think I need a drink."
"I think everyone needs a drink," Raine said, looking around at everyone.
A beer and a bowl of corn chips later, Kratos was plugging his ears and humming a very old hymn to try and keep the children from getting on his nerves more then they already were/
"Martel," Raine muttered, dunking a corn chip in extra-spicy salsa, "Please grant me every drop of patience in the entire universe. Please."
"Same for me," Colette added. "And also, let's have them not speak languages all day when Yuan comes."
"An idea I support," Kratos said loudly, humming louder as the children ran by shrieking in Pig Latin. "I support it very strongly. A petition, perhaps?"
"No, too many brats," Kratos the younger said. "Far too many. I think we should throw them overboard."
Colette and Lloyd shuddered, and everyone else went silent, not because they were upset by this comment, but because for the most part they were all imagining gruesome ways of killing whoever invented Pig Latin.
"It's time for bed!" Colette chirruped at seven o' clock. After a meal of slightly charred meatballs and spaghetti, the adults had voted on an early bedtime. A super early bedtime.
"It's-ay only-ay even-say o-say lock-cay!" Raine whined as Colette pushed them down the hallway.
"You're all tired." Kratos siad from his doorway, blaringly loud rock music issuing from inside. "It'll do you good."
"Ommy-may!" Genis whined, tugging on Colette's dress. The angel ignored him and pulled him down the hall the rest of the way, shutting him inside the bedroom.
Kratos had already shut himself inside of his bedroom, and, finding Simon asleep on his pillow (as always) he mumbled good-night to the cat and collapsed into bed, praying to everything he knew of to please make the kids shut up tomorrow.
Sari: That's all you're gettin' out of me. It's about four hundred words short, but I'm out.Moo: -brandishing frying pan- Good enough, you updated. Read and review, please! It's the fastest way to update!
–crappy music plays-