Catalyst

by tempest-races

A catalyst is not consumed by a reaction, only precipitates it; remaining itself unchanged and yet instigating momentious change in the reagents. Like a catalyst, will they fall out of solution unscathed or will the reaction consume them both?

2. In My Head

Catalyst

By - TempestRaces

Chapter 2 – In My Head

Gem woke up around ten am and looked out her bedroom window. It was a bright, sunny day. She got up and flipped on the radio while she started to think about getting dressed. The unfortunate thing about living in a rooming house was the lack of privacy. She didn't have her own bathroom or her own kitchen so she had to wait for her turn for almost everything.

She was hoping, now that she had a job, to either get her own place or find someone looking for a roommate. Her only concern was getting a roommate who wasn't a psychopath. She didn't know anyone in Los Angeles. If she couldn't find someone she had a passing knowledge of to vouch for a potential roommate how the hell was she supposed to move in with them? On blind faith they wouldn't kill her or be a rapist or axe murderer?

Thinking of the strangers of L.A. brought her grump from the Cobalt back to mind. She wondered if he made it home ok. His eyes had been so unfocused when he'd stood up from banging around under her car last night. She turned up the radio, waiting on the news to come on. She'd listen to see if there had been any bad car accidents.

Although what it would prove if there had been she'd never know. There were so many people who drove in L.A. that it resulted in a lot of car accidents. She had already seen this first hand and she'd only been in L.A. a few days. There had just been something about her stranger that had made her hope he got home ok. It wasn't just his chronic bad mood which had obviously been caused by something, or the quick way he'd offered her help even though he'd hardly been civil to her the whole night while she waited on him either.

There was something about him. Something she saw in him reminded her of herself. The same down and out but not finished air she knew she gave off was present in her stranger. She figured she had to find out his name. She couldn't keep calling him grumpy bear forever, not even in her own head. He was nice under the gruffness and she just sensed it. She was almost embarrassed to recall the dreams she'd had about him in the night.

She started to hum a tune to herself, realizing what she was doing a few bars in. "Oh no here we go again." She said to herself as she sat down with her notebook. Another start to a song she'd never finish. Apparently she'd never learn either.

She hummed, not sure what the first line would be. She wrote the part she already had in her head.

I wonder if truly you are as beautiful as I believe.

She thought about how he'd helped her the night before, how he'd been like a guardian angel getting her car running and getting her safely out of the parking lot instead of leaving her stranded. She went back to the top of the page and began to write again.

That's not half bad, she told herself as she looked at what she'd written. It was only one stanza but so far so good. What else about the whole situation was song worthy? She answered her question quickly. Last night was the first night you didn't feel lonely and scared while you tried to fall asleep. You kept hearing his voice, so gruff and grumbley, but it made you feel safe, she answered herself farther. So now all she had to do was put that into her song. She thought about it for awhile and after several erased starts ended up with something she was fairly happy with.

She smiled as she read what she had so far. It was pretty good by her normal standards. She heard it in her head with simple piano and a more complex lead guitar then she knew she would be capable of playing herself. She started to jot down ideas for the piano score and guitar tabs. Before she knew it she had the whole song done as far as the accompanying instruments. She'd written in the bass guitar, a turn of wishful thinking on her part she knew. But since she'd also written in a drum line and didn't know anyone who played a drum set she figured she was entitled. Now she just had to finish the lyrics and she'd finally have written a song. But she'd gotten to this point before and still had the project end in disaster.

One more verse, she told herself. She wanted to get as much done while she was actually able to do it as she could. She loved the line under the weight of your wings very much. It was like it acknowledged that it wasn't easy being someone's protector. It was a burden, just as it would be in real life. She knew it wasn't easy being the one who felt responsible for someone else. You felt like you had to protect them from every hurt; every bad experience and it became a weight on your soul, always on your mind. Was it that kind of responsibility her stranger was running away from with his plethora of Corona every night?

So far they'd only met on her side of the world. He'd been in her bar, fixing her car. What was his life like? She thought she knew already. It was amazing to her how much she'd speculated about his life already, how much she'd guessed about his thoughts.

She cracked her knuckles and sat back from the table with a contented sigh. Two good verses and a chorus. She was on a flying roll! She'd never gotten so far with one of her own songs. If she got all the music the words never came and if she got far with the lyrics the music never matched. This song was all coming together. She glanced at the clock and then did a double take. If she was ever going to get her car looked at before work she needed to start getting ready now. She cast a longing look at her notebook. She really wanted to finish her song while she was on a roll but she didn't have time. She'd been writing for hours, much longer then she'd even realized.

She left her sheet music and notebook scattered over her table and grabbed her shower supplies and clothes for the day as she dashed to the bathroom. After the quickest shower of her life her hair was in a high ponytail and she was wearing black slacks and a red v neck top. It would carry her through her meeting at the repair shop into her shift at the Cobalt so she wouldn't have to worry about making it home to change if she had to take public transit. She didn't know how long it took to replace a starter. She gathered up what cash she had for the bill and headed down to the main floor of her building.

She found the building manager and asked him if he'd ever heard of a Toretto's Garage. He hadn't but suggested Gem call the phone company with the phone number and get them to reverse look up the address on file. She did so and with address and directions to that address in hand she went out to her beat up grey Honda. To her surprise it started right up. It was tempting to forget the man's advice and just see how long she could push the car before it died again. She really couldn't afford the money to replace anything right now and the car was running again, wasn't it?

But he seemed so confident it would break down again, a voice in her head nagged. She played her own devil's advocate.

He was also drunk. Who knows if he was right?

Do you want to find out tonight in a dark parking lot while all the' thank god it's Friday' drunks pass by you?

The answer was no so she headed off toward the part of town the address she'd been provided was in. The garage, when she found it was a nondescript brick square building with a set of garage doors at one end and a few high, multi-paned windows. A dusty blue sign proclaimed it to be Toretto's over the door and there were a few cars parked around the back. Some of them were very fancy and obviously worth a lot of money. It reassured Gem to know people with cars worth so much were still willing to have them repaired by the garage her customer had recommended.

Gem parked the Honda among the other cars and headed into the building via what she hoped was the front door. She found herself in a small, shabby room with a few plastic chairs and a scarred countertop with a battered old cash register perched on it. A bell had rung over the door when she'd walked in but no one had come to see who she was yet.

She rubbed her sweaty palms on her slacks, nervous about both the cost of having her car repaired and meeting her grumpy stranger in sober daylight. She remembered finding him attractive in a rough and tough sort of way. That had been in a dark, smoky club. Would he look the same in the harsh afternoon sun? Would she look different to him? After all he'd be sober and the light was harsh compared to the soft lighting from the night before. Would he be like most men and find her looks too plain for a second glance? You don't know he doesn't already have someone anyway. She nagged herself.

Like someone finally realized they had a customer a young man came through a door Gem assumed led to where ever they actually worked on cars and walked up to her.

"Hey. Help you?"

"Yes, my car broke down last night and the man who got it going for me told me to take it by so he could give me an idea what it would cost to fix."

"What was his name?"

"Whose?" Gem asked, not following the line of questioning. Why was that relevant?

"The man who told you to take your car here." The youth answered back, seeming like he was suspicious of her.

"I didn't get his name. He gave me this card." Gem held it out and the boy took it.

"This doesn't tell me who this guy was though. What did he look like?"

"I don't know." Gem started. How did she put what the man looked like to her into words that wouldn't make another guy look at her like she was insane? She couldn't say he was a nice looking man with an ok butt without getting those 'lady you're crazy' looks she was getting accustomed to. "He was tall, like maybe six feet. Brown hair, light coloured eyes. Kind of moody." She really hoped she wasn't overstepping her bounds with her description of his personality. The suspicion left the boy's face.

"That'd be the boss, one sec." He crossed back over to the door of the shop area and hauled it open. "Hey C, you got a visitor."

A muffled reply was returned. The youth turned back to Gem. "You can have a seat if you want; he said he'd be up in a minute. I'm Cory, by the way."

"Gem." She answered holding out her hand. Why was he introducing himself to her?

"Nice to meet you. The big guy has never brought a girl around before." There was a speculative gleam in the kid's eyes.

"He didn't bring me around. He told me he knew of a garage I could take my car to and since he got it going I assumed he knew what he was talking about. It's not like you seem to think."

"Got ya." Though his answer agreed with her his eyes didn't and Gem rolled her own. Just then the separating door opened again and her grumpy bear strode through.

"Yeah?" He asked shortly, no sign of remembering who she was showing on his face. Cory excused himself back into the shop as Gem stood up.

"Hi, we met last night. Grey almost a car Honda that wouldn't go. You told me to bring it by after you got it running. Something about a starter?" She tried to jog his memory without coming right out and reminding him he was loaded and seemingly didn't remember her. Awareness started to spread across his face.

"Oh yeah. I really didn't think I'd be seeing you again."

"I just moved to L.A. and I wouldn't have a clue where else to take it. You seemed to know what you were talking about when you were banging away on the thing last night."

"Yeah, we can get it fixed up. I'll have to call around and see if I can get the parts for it today or not though."

"Ok, if you could give me an idea how much first? I don't have a lot of money to spend on the car right now."

"Sure. Have a seat."

Gem sat and the man picked up the phone. She watched him talking on the phone, his voice too low for her to hear what he was saying.

"I can get the parts for it today. It won't take that long to do since we're not that busy right now."

Gem looked up with a start. She hadn't even realized he was off the phone. "Ok, great. Now give me the bad news."

"It'll only cost you 25 bucks."

"Really? Come on." She cajoled, trying to get him to admit he was playing with her. "You must be joking. Nothing that goes wrong with this car is ever that cheap to fix. All the parts for it cost more because it isn't domestic. Or so my brother is always telling me when he's fixing it."

The man known as 'C' to his employees only nodded. "Well, I can rebuild the starter and that's about how much the rebuild parts will cost."

"You have to charge me something for the labour."

"No I don't." He sighed, his gaze falling to the countertop for a moment as he reined in his temper before he met her eyes again. "I'll do it for the cost of the parts, ok?" He asked irately.

Something in his eyes told her he was doing it more to make up for how much of a jerk he'd been the night before and how much of a jerk he was likely to continue to be in the future. She wasn't really in a position to argue too hard with him with her money so tight.

"If you're sure about that. I don't mind paying whatever your going rate is for the labour since the parts aren't going to cost much." She gave him one last out to charge her something reasonable for his time. She watched as storm clouds crossed his face. Uh oh.

"I said I was sure. Jesus! Do you want it fixed or not?"

"Yes, I want it fixed." Gem answered in a small voice.

"Ok, your name was...?" He waited for her to fill in her name. She was a bit hurt he didn't remember but she did remember just how much he'd had to drink. She thought maybe she was more hurt by his snappish behaviour when seconds before they'd been doing ok.

"It's Gemmalynn Davis. Two m's two n's." She told him in a stuck up tone, waiting for him to write it down. He gave her a look, telling her he knew full well the name she'd been going by up until that point had not had nearly as many syllables. He waited, looking at her expectantly and she tried to wait him out. He won and she relented. "Gem will be fine. Gem Davis." She watched him write her name down on a slip of paper and add grey 1990 Honda Civic to the information he was collecting.

She wanted to say something smooth and urbane to him. She wanted a slick way to find out his name but just as when she'd been due to perform her nerves were causing her to clam up. She had to know his name. What was C short for?

"So you know my name, do I get to know yours?" She asked, trying not to cringe from how idiotic she sounded. Good with pick up lines you aren't! He looked up, quirking one brow.

"Do you need to know that for me to fix your car?"

"I don't know, I've never had a stranger fix my car before. My brother always fixed it for me back home. He was one of these amateur mechanics. So do people whose cars you fix often know who you are first, or do they let strangers under their hoods?"

When he started to laugh she looked at him like he was insane. What had she said that was so funny? He looked about ready to pee his pants he was laughing so hard. She shifted from one foot to the other without taking her eyes off his quaking shoulders. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. "What is so funny?"

"You're gonna let a stranger under your hood." He snickered a few more times. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. You're right, it ain't that funny. Sorry. It's been a hell of a day and I just…Stranger under your hood." Another snicker escaped. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard. Under her hood. Of course she wasn't half bad looking and it had been a while since he'd been under anyone's 'hood'.

When she realized what he was implying 'under her hood' was a euphemism for she giggled herself even as she felt her cheeks heat up. "I never thought of that as another way to say that before. I'm totally car challenged." She looked up and met his eyes. They glistened with the tears his laughter had brought. They were beautiful, a unique crystalline blue, unlike hers which couldn't make up their mind if they wanted to be green or blue and normally settled on a nondescript shade in the middle. She suddenly felt woefully inadequate next to him. He was so good looking and she was so plain. Why would he want to get to know someone like her?

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Vince."

"Vince? Is that your real name?" She asked as she shook his hand.

"Yes it's my damn real name! Why would I give you a fake name?"

"Cory called you C." Gem trailed off, amazed by his drastic mood changes. She hadn't meant to annoy him with her innocent question. His mood changed with more violence than a pregnant woman's.

"Oh, yeah." If Gem wasn't mistaken Vince was looking just a touch embarrassed. "It's from a nickname. Not something I get called very often anymore but the guys here shortened it to C."

"What's C stand for?"

"Nothin'."

No matter how much Gem cajoled and even, wonder of wonders, flirted, her new mechanic would not fill her in on his nickname. "Ok, I surrender. You can keep the secret." Gem checked her watch. "Oh shoot! I have got to jet. I need to be at work for six and it's already four thirty. I need to know where I can get on the bus! Oh, and what bus I need to get on."

"Slow down girl. Where do you need to go?"

"Work." She looked at Vince like he was slow before she realized that a lot of people likely had more then one job in L.A. "The Cobalt Café."

"Ok, if you promise not to let your head explode I'll get Cory to drive you and I'll drop your car off to you ready to go tonight, ok?"

She'd learned her lesson about acting like he was doing too much for her. He didn't take it well. "I'd be very appreciative."

"Ok, see you then."

"Sure, see you then." Gem turned around and walked out of the shop. She stood on the sidewalk for a minute almost not aware of where she was. When she came back to reality she realized she likely should have waited in the shop for Cory. Now he was going to have to come get her out front. She shook her head with a giggle. There had never been a time when anything had made her act so scatterbrained before, let alone a guy who'd thrown her for such a loop.

She was one strange chick, Vince thought as he walked back into the shop area. Miss Gem Davis can't play guitar. He'd be doing her a favour if he refused to fix her damn Honda. The thing was on its last legs anyway. But instead he was fixing it, for free, and letting Cory drive her to work.

He felt interested in something for the first time since he took over running the garage and it scared the hell out of him. Scared him more then anything he could think of in forever. He'd existed with nothing more than a fog of liquor and headaches for so long he didn't know how to change how he lived. He knew people worried but there was nothing he could do about it.

What was it about Gemmalynn Davis that made him wonder if he really wanted to know all there was to know about her or if he wanted her to go away so he could forget someone had made him feel something again? What happened to the days when all that mattered was winning races, getting loaded and taking home the first girl who looked easy enough? Was that what was appealing to him about Gem Davis? Her everyday look? The fact that her attitude was practically the antichrist to that of the average race chick? The fact something about her innocent, naïve manner reminded him of how Mia had used to be, before everything?

He knew he got drunk too much. He knew he shouldn't drive that way. It was just that none of it mattered. Hadn't since his whole world had simply fell apart one day and had been fractured too badly to put back together. He just existed day to day. He got up each day and opened the garage. Not because he wanted to but because someone had to. He ate three meals each day because they appeared in front of him at regular intervals. He got dressed because he knew no one would want to see him without his clothes, not anymore, and he showered because no matter how detached from the world he got he couldn't stand to stink. He just barely skimmed the surface of life, just existed, and had been if not content that way than at least ok with it until last night.

If he had to pinpoint when he'd taken an interest in Gem it wouldn't be when she got up on stage and tried to perform. He'd felt something vaguely akin to pity when those idiots in the center of the bar had made fun of her name but that wasn't what had intrigued her to him. No, that had happened when she'd kept up her chipper, happy attitude in the face of his bad humour. Most people just tried to be quiet and inconspicuous around him so he'd leave them alone. She'd kept up the perky here you go and thank you's all night long. She didn't let his bad mood get her down. In fact he would almost have to be sure she'd gotten more upbeat just to rub his nose in it. She was shy, she was timid, but in her own way she'd stood up to him. Lately people he'd known his whole life wouldn't so much as contradict him if he told them the sky was red he was in such a perpetual bad mood.

Even though she'd gotten up on stage in front of a group of strangers and pretty much sucked she'd still kept up a cheerful facade. She'd barely gotten any applause and she had to know her rendition of Kelly Clarkson hadn't gone over very well. Vince was inclined to think that Simon would send her home after she sang one note. It wasn't that her voice stank; it was just that her whole act lacked feeling and she certainly had no business playing a guitar. Ever. That was one thing he knew for sure. He might be the pot calling the kettle black over lacking feeling but he sure knew how to play a guitar, and how to spot someone who didn't, and Miss Davis did not know the first thing about it. She was just girl with an ok face and an ok voice in a sea of people who sang ok with average looks. There wasn't anything about her act that made her stand out. She was just another girl singing someone else's song.

So why did he find himself looking forward to dropping off her car and letting her perk her way through his Mr. Surly act all night?

Gem arrived at work a half hour early thanks to how young Cory drove as he navigated L.A. traffic. "Thanks for the lift." Gem told the boy as she stood up out of his car. She wanted to fall on her knees and kiss the ground she was so glad to come out of warp drive.

"No sweat. See ya." He was off like a shot. Gem watched him go; hoping not to see that a purple whatever he was driving was splattered across a bridge abutment on the evening news.

She pushed into the Cobalt and sighed with pleasure as the A/C hit her overheated body. Cory's car didn't have air. He said that it weighed too much and used up too much horsepower so the car's previous owner had removed all of the components to save the weight. Gem figured in her world she'd rather be slow and cool then slightly faster and sweaty.

"I was wondering if you'd be back, or if you'd wake up this morning with your wits back." Barry called from behind the bar.

"I have my wits, always did. They're telling me a job now that lets me make a few bucks with tips is better than holding out for something else."

"I bet you didn't plan to come to L.A. to wait tables."

"No, I came to L.A. to sing," Gem was honest, "but I didn't see anyone rushing to pay me for singing for them either, and a girl's gotta eat. Besides, your customers were nicer than some I've dealt with."

"That was Thursday night. Don't hold out on it being like that in here all the time. Tonight won't be too bad but tomorrow we clear the tables and set up a DJ booth and dance floor. I have a guy who comes in and spins dance music." Barry grimaced. "It's not what I like for my bar but it makes a few more bucks then the open mic and showcase nights we do through the week. Gotta pay the bills, but it attracts a different sort."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. When will it get busy?"

"Starts around eight."

"What should I do until then?"

"Wipe off the tables, familiarize yourself with the drinks we offer, help me clean glassware, really the same things you'd do to prep a restaurant for the next rush. Someone needs to get the lemons sliced up, limes, fill the cherries, that type of thing."

"I'll start cleaning the tables if that's ok."

"Sure. The other girl on tonight will be in around seven and she'll help finish up the prep."

"Sounds good." Gem went and picked up a bottle of cleaner and a few towels and started to wipe off the tables. As she wiped she started to hum to herself. She was humming the piano line of her song, unable to get it out of her head. She was feeling anxious about finishing the words. If she managed it would be the first time she would honestly be able to say she wrote a whole song from start to finish.

Humming the cadence of the accompaniment was helping her figure out words that would flow with the music and let her convey what she wanted to say with her song. She knew her overall theme was that in her head anyone could be anything she wanted them to be.

But there was more to it then that and she knew it. She knew it wasn't about anyone. It was about her making Vince into what she wanted him to be in her head. And about how she was worried he wasn't anything that she imagined in reality. But in the long run it didn't matter so much to her because thinking he was what she wanted him to be filled a void in her world.

She hummed the music for the verse again and thought for a moment. She was almost itching to get home and get writing. She was just so alive and inspired for the first time ever.

"You are crazy. You got inspired over some guy who was rude to you all night and helped you out with something simple with the stupid car. You're living in a dreamland since you got to Los Angeles Gem Davis and it's all going to come crashing down around you when you find out the truth, that this guy isn't anything you've built him up to be. You're going to be totally disappointed then. And you have got to stop talking to yourself." Gem looked around, relieved to find no one had heard her mumbled ramblings to herself.

She finished up the tables and started cutting lemons into wedges. That was where the other girl found her. The other girl turned out to be a woman of about forty with short brown hair framing a pixyish face and deep brown eyes. "So Barry finally broke down and hired me some help did he?"

"I guess so." Gem held out her hand and introduced herself.

"I'm Barbara." The other lady answered. "I got so tired trying to keep up with the crowd all by myself. We always had another girl but she was kind of flaky, couldn't count on her to show up half the time."

"Well, you won't have that problem with me. I need the money too bad."

"Didn't I see you up singing last night during open mic?" Barbara asked, awareness spreading across her face.

"That was me." Gem sighed. "I won't be repeating it any time soon so you don't have to worry about your poor eardrums."

"You weren't half bad girl. The only way you're gonna get better is if you practise."

"I'll stick to practising at home from now on."

"It's not the same. You need the audience there so you can get use to acting the same way for them as you would if you were home alone."

"I guess." Gem agreed without much conviction and changed the subject. "You work here long?"

"About ten years. I've known Barry and his wife forever. What about you, what did you do before you started here?"

"I worked for my folks back home in 'Frisco."

"Why'd you move to L.A. then?"

"I wanted to be a singer. I've been re-evaluating my options since last night."

"You didn't do as bad as you think. Everyone is their own worst critic. Just keep working at it and you'll find it gets easier and easier."

"I guess I shouldn't give up so easily." It was an admission made without enthusiasm. Gem had very little desire to subject herself to more catcalls and ridicule. It definitely hadn't been what she'd had in mind when she'd come to Los Angeles to sing.

The first patrons started to wander in as Gem and Barbara finished up with the garnishes for the drinks and Barry emerged from the back room.

As much as he'd wanted to go down to the Cobalt the second he'd finished Gem's car he'd forced himself to go home first. Forced himself to eat the food that had been thoughtfully left for him in the oven to keep warm. Or at least forced himself to pick at the food left for him, even though he didn't want to eat. Forced himself not to rush his shower. He wouldn't let himself rush after some girl.

He hoped she was really as car clueless as she claimed because once he'd gotten under her car he hadn't been able to let all the safety concerns he had with it slide. Gem Davis was going to find herself the unknowing owner of a new set of front brake pads and quite a bit of weld on her exhaust. How she hadn't asphyxiated herself to death on the fumes he'd never know. The exhaust piping had been riddled with more holes then Swiss cheese. The brother she claimed kept the car working for her needed to have his ass kicked for letting his kid sister run around in a car he half ass fixed for her. Vince had to admit he was perplexed as to why he even cared if her brakes failed or she gassed herself. Her being willing to let some backyard mechanic who only thought he knew which end of a ratchet was the business end fix her car was hardly his problem.

Cory and the other guy who worked for him, Bill, had taken his car down to the Cobalt earlier so he could drive Gem's there and leave it for her. He got out of the hot shower and contemplated shaving. Fuck it, he thought. Sounded too much like work. What'd he care if he looked like a scruff? He wasn't going out on a social call. He was giving the girl her car back and drinking until he didn't remember her name. Same as last night and the night before and the night before that.

He headed back down the stairs after dressing in a pair of indigo blue jeans (had his belt always had to be done up that many notches?) and a couple of dark tank tops. When he saw Mia sitting in the chair that faced the foot of the stairs watching him descend he fought a roar that bubbled up. Here we go again.

"Why did I find half your supper in the trash?" She started.

"'Cause I wasn't hungry." He growled back. Same old, same old.

"V, you use to live to eat. Now you don't even eat to live. You've lost so much weight I hardly know you. You leave for the garage earlier every day and come home later every night. I never see you anymore. It's like you time things so that you never have to see anyone but those two guys you hired to work in the shop."

"You're one to talk about losing weight."

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. You make up for the food you don't eat by trying to keep the Corona company in business all by yourself."

"Lay off Mia." Vince snatched up his keys, ready to hit the road and drive away the stress Mia was tossing his way. Then he remembered he didn't have the Maxima to drive, but Gem's tired little Honda. Jesus Christ! I can't win.

"Vince, I'm worried about you." She stood up and crossed the room to his side.

She had lost weight, he noticed. Even more than he'd thought. Her hair wasn't as shiny as he remembered and he could see all the bones in the backs of her hands clearly. He had been avoiding her, but he couldn't tell her that. Couldn't tell her it was because she was a constant reminder of all he'd lost and the life he'd left behind for the daily grind of running her brother's garage even though he really didn't want to. Had never wanted to be the boss, had always been content to be crazy ol' Coyote who showed up when he wanted, did the best work out of everyone, if he wanted, and left when he wanted. "I can take care of myself."

"If by take care of yourself you mean kill yourself slowly. Yes, you sure can."

"Worry about taking care of you Mia, and I'll worry about taking care of me." With that he tore the front door open, stepped through it and slammed it shut. He stood on the porch a moment trying to calm down. God damn Mia! What he did to himself was none of her concern. Just because he'd been her protector for most of his life didn't mean he'd be around to do it forever. It isn't supposed to be my god damn job! He roared in his head. And Mia could just go to hell for making him feel bad for making her worry too. A sound reached him through the open front window. Mia was crying again. Ah fuck!

He might live mostly in a fog of cool indifference but one thing he sure could still feel was guilt. And Mia's sobbing slammed him right in the gut with a big wallop of it. Same as it did when she cried at night and he didn't know her well enough to go to her anymore. So he might not fancy himself in love with her anymore he did still love her very much. She was all he had left to tie him to his old life and that was both a blessing and a curse. And a terrible, important burden he didn't feel ready to carry. And that was why he avoided her so much. But what he'd never really thought of until just now was how much that left her all alone. She worked the café alone all day long and she'd dropped out of school, so she spent her days working alone and sitting home alone. He almost went back into the house. But what would he say?

Yep, time to head to the Cobalt. He started the little civic with a snarl. He wanted his car. He wanted reckless speed to help him forget. Thinking of reckless speed made him think of what was stored in the dirty garage behind the dingy white house that had once given off a cared for air and now only looked as tired as he felt. He knew he could take either of the cars hidden there and drive as fast as he dared. But he didn't dare take either. It would be too strong of a reminder of what he'd lost. So instead he forced himself to drive carefully to the bar and park the Honda. He locked it and walked in the bar, the cool air and dark atmosphere calming him a few levels as soon as he walked through the door.

There were a few people around but no sign of the bartender, Gem, or the other lady who normally worked Friday nights alone. He crossed to his usual table in the corner and sat down, waiting for a sign of life in the bar.

"Hey honey, usual?"

He looked up in surprise to find the older lady who always waited on him at his side. He wondered where the owner of the keys he was still holding was as Barbara walked off to retrieve his drink.

Gem came back off her break with a sigh. She'd spent her forty five minutes jotting down lyric ideas on napkins. She told herself the harder she worked and the busier it was the faster time would go by as she bemoaned the need to stay at the Cobalt instead of rushing home right now. She grabbed a few tables at the back of the room and started to make her way forward. She lost herself in the routine work and daydreaming of what she would write when she got home. By the time she reached the middle of the room she'd totally forgotten about her grumpy customer who still had custody of her car.

She looked up from the table she was helping in the middle of the bar and saw him hunched over the same table he'd occupied last night, already with three empty bottles. She sighed as she told Barry what she needed for the middle tables. No help for it, she was going to have to go and retrieve her keys and she'd bet dollars to donuts that if she didn't have to remind him who she was she'd still get bad attitude from him. She delivered her orders slower than necessary to avoid heading his way. When her tray was empty she couldn't stall any longer.

She needed her car keys and he was almost to the bottom of his bottle. She started his way.

"I wouldn't sweetheart." Barbara stepped in her path. "That one takes some getting use to." She pulled a face.

"Oh I know, but I'm half way there. I had to wait on him all last night."

"He's fit to be tied tonight sweetie and that's never pretty. I'll do the nasty duty tonight. You shouldn't have to put up with that on your first full night."

"I have to go over there once because he has my car keys." Gem felt her cheeks turn a bit red when she admitted she knew the man everyone loved to hate outside the bar.

"How'd that happen?" Barbara looked intrigued.

"He's a mechanic and it broke down last night. He offered to fix it for me and bring it here with him tonight."

"Well then, sounds like someone has a soft spot for our resident singing sensation." Barbara grinned.

"No, sounds like someone was drunk and made an offer he forgot about when he sobered up but since he owns a garage he fixed my car anyway."

"Ok, either way go get your keys. You may as well show up with another one for him. Guaranteed he wants one."

Gem retrieved the drink and set it down in front of 'C'. She was going to find out what that nickname was. She decided to keep up her chipper façade with him. "Hey stranger. Long time no see." She forced a grin and hoped it looked natural.

"Yeah." He held out her keys without looking up. "All ready to go."

"Thanks again."

"Um." He grunted and held out money for the drink.

"I got that one. Consider it fair trade for the favour."

"I told you I didn't mind doing it. You don't need to do anything for me." Vince growled as he looked up. He didn't want her doing anything in return so when he felt bad for treating her poorly he could remind himself about that time he fixed her car for next to nothing.

"I know I don't but I just did." Gem winked. "See you around." She walked away whistling just to keep up her oh so happy act, a little extra swing to her walk. She didn't know what about baiting him made her so happy but something did. She waited more tables, still smiling. She really was in a great mood, even if she had gotten the grumpy treatment.

Vince drained his drink and looked up to find the old waitress and not Gem at his side. "You want anything sugar?"

She always used names like sugar or sweetie for everyone she waited on. It was irritating but she wasn't singling him out for it so he let it go, with difficulty. "Where's Gem?"

"Around." Barbara looked taken aback. "You sure she's not a bit too much sunshine for you to handle?"

How could he explain that it was her sunshine he was looking forward to, even though he knew he was going to grouch and grumble at her anyway. He simply shrugged.

"Suit yourself." Barbara headed off to find Gem. "Your guy needs another drink."

"My guy? I'm single so whoever told you they were my guy lied." Gem looked confused.

"Your mechanic. He needs another beer."

"I didn't know he was my mechanic now. I'm the only one who can wait on his cranky butt?" Gem smiled.

"I guess so."

She grabbed a beer from the cooler and headed over to the dark corner again. "There you go!" She chirped, as happy as she could make herself be. "You enjoying the music?"

"It's ok." He mumbled out, almost a snarl.

"Barry tells me he has dance music in here tomorrow. Do you come out for that too?"

"What'd you think?"

"I think you come sit in the corner in the dark and drink beer." Gem said, standing beside the table with a smile.

"You're like some kind of genius." He quipped back sarcastically.

"You know why I think you come on Saturdays?" Gem didn't let his sarcasm dissuade her from continuing on in a friendly, familiar tone.

He didn't answer, just looked up at her again with a surly face. He waited for her to fill him in.

"I think you come here on Saturdays to watch the pretty little things shake it on the dance floor." She grinned even bigger as she cocked her hip to one side and wrinkled her nose in barely contained laughter. She didn't know where the boldness was coming from but she was liking it. She was actually hoping that he came up with something really mean when he came back at her.

"I come here to not be home."

Where the hell had that come from? Vince couldn't believe he'd said that out loud. He'd had a witty retort about being glad it wouldn't be her out there shaking her ass all ready to go and then bam, out with the truth just like that. Now she was going to go all what's the matter on him and he was going to have to get really mad at her.

"I see." She answered. "Well hey, the pretty young things can't be anything but a bonus I guess, right?" She patted his shoulder awkwardly but kept her grin on her face. It was almost like she had a sixth sense for things because she didn't try to talk more or stick around to keep him company.

Just a simple pat on the shoulder with the same sunny grin before she walked off to go about her business. Either she lacked a woman's need to stick her nose where it didn't belong or she had one very developed sense of when to leave things alone. Either way he was grateful and by the end of the night he wouldn't remember anyway. On that note he started pulling back his drink.

When two am came Gem had nothing on her mind but going home. Her feet were killing her. She hadn't had to work such a long, constantly busy shift in a very long time. She started to take off her apron in anticipation of going home as Barbara went to lock the doors.

"We got a problem." Barry said as he walked toward the ladies from the staff washroom.

"What is it chief?" Barbara asked.

"The man we all love to hate."

"Hey, he's not so bad." Gem felt the need to stand up for her new friend, odd as their relationship was.

"Then you wake his ass up and get him outta my club." Barry groaned as he finished.

"What do you mean wake him up?" Gem asked, already starting toward the dark corner of the bar Vince preferred.

"You see what I mean!" Barry almost roared as he followed Gem around the corner of the bar.

There was Vince, passed out with his head on his crossed arms. There was a great number of empty bottles on the table around him, some tipped over and some upright. "Who brought him all those beer?" Gem asked, her incredulousness making her voice breathy.

"We all brought him some and while we weren't looking he went and got his own at the bar. Look at all those bottles." Barbara sighed.

"I'll do what I can. We don't really know each other, you guys know that right?"

"You know his name." Barbara reminded. "You're the only one who does."

"You're the only one he didn't make cry on their first night with him Gem. If anyone can get him outta here it's you." Barry patted her on the shoulder as he walked away.

"Good luck." Barbara turned to go as well. "Do you want me to stay with you? Will you be ok?"

"I think so, I should be fine." Gem sounded sure, but she really wasn't sure at all. What if he turned violent? She pulled a chair up beside him, but not too close. "Vince?" She called softly. He didn't acknowledge her at all. "Hey Vince? It's time to wake up and go home." He still didn't come too.

"Vince, wake up." She gently shook his shoulder this time. He groaned and shifted, swatting at her almost playfully, as though she was someone he was use to roughhousing with.

"Leon, go away. We'll work on your car later." He turned his head away from her.

"Aw Vince I'm not Leon, kid." She was feeling something for this man, and she didn't know what. He reminded her a bit of her little brother when he was drunk. Her brother got the same way when he over indulged. "You have got to get up and go home big guy." She shook him again.

"Wha?" He lifted his head up off the table with a moan. "Where am I?"

"Cobalt. It's time to go home now. Come on." Gem stood up and offered her hand. "Let's go."

"Yeah." Vince stood up and almost fell over, scorning her offered hand.

"Easy goes it." Gem held out her hand to steady him, still smiling. He swatted her hand away.

"I'm fine."

"You sure are," Gem winked. "But Barry wants to close up. Let's go."

"Where we goin?" Vince asked as he stumbled after Gem toward the exit, the double entendre in her comment going right over his head.

"Well, you are going to tell me where you live and I am going to drive you there so you can go to bed. And boy, are you going to regret this tomorrow."

"Regret what?"

"Nothing. Let's go. Come on." Gem kept Vince moving toward the door. She got him out of the bar and heard the door lock behind them. She looked back and saw Barry waving good night. She started to lead Vince around the corner of the store toward the parking lot. "Ok, get in." Gem stopped beside her car.

"I got my," he hiccupped and looked around the parking lot, "car. It's right over there." He pointed in the general direction of a blue car, the only one left besides Gem's own Honda and Barry's GMC Jimmy. Barry drove Barbara home at the end of each of her shifts.

"That's a very nice car Vince, it really is, but you are in no shape to drive it right now. I think you should get in my car here and let me drive you home." Gem patted the hood of her Honda. "Or I could get you a taxi."

"Can't leave the Maxima here all night." Vince started unsteadily toward his car, hauling his keys out as he went.

"Ah, ah, ah." Gem tutted as she dashed after him. She snatched his keys out of his hand. As if to exhibit just how retarded his reflexes were by how much he'd had to drink it took him a few seconds to realize he wasn't holding his keys anymore. For those few seconds he kept walking toward the car with his hand out as though it still had the keys. When he realized they were gone he turned back to face her with a very irate look on his face. "Sorry but no matter how well you drive you are in no shape to be doing it now. Let me drive you home."

"Give me my keys."

"Nope sorry. I'll make you walk before I give you back these keys, but if you're really nice to me I'll give you a lift." Gem started walking backwards. He lurched toward her unsteadily and almost fell. "You can't walk right now, let alone drive a car as fast as yours." Gem didn't know how she thought she knew his car would be fast, but when an almost paternal smile lit up his face she figured it was the right thing to say. Just keep complimenting the car. "Just let me drive you home and then someone can take you down here in the morning to get your car back. Wouldn't you rather risk letting it sit here overnight than risk writing it off on the way home?"

"Gimme my keys." Another drunken lurch complete with a stumble accompanied the request.

"Nope." Gem was scared to move away any faster in case he really did fall down trying to keep up with her. "This is absurd. If you do get your keys away from me and go start your car I'm gonna have to call the police on you and I really don't want to do that."

"So just gimme my keys and don't."

"Can't do that. Think how bad I'd feel if you killed yourself on the way home."

"You don't have to feel bad for me if I kill myself." Another hiccup.

"Ok, what if you kill a family on the way home, and don't kill yourself. Then I'd have to hate you for doing something as stupid as driving this drunk, and doing it on purpose none the less and killing innocent people and not yourself. What then?"

"You sound like Mia."

The way it was said it was not meant to be a compliment. It was also clear from his attitude he was starting to soften in his driving home position. "Really? I think I'd like Mia then. She sounds smart."

"Um." A grunt was all she got. Thankfully in his state he gave her a lot of clues before he made his moves. He lunged at her again and grabbed at the keys. He almost got them. Only Gem's faster reflexes kept her out of his reach as she stepped neatly backward. He almost fell again.

"That's it." Gem pulled her shirt away from her body and dropped the keys down her tank top. "That takes care of that."

"You think I won't go down there after them?" A sly grin crossed his face, taking years off the age he looked and making him almost charming and boyish. Gem reminded herself to watch this one. He could be dangerous with that smile.

"If you do you better bring your A game." Gem said and brought her hands up into a boxer's pose. She had no idea if she could take him, even in his state, and a boxer she wasn't.

A thoughtful look crossed his face. "You drive stick?"

"I don't know. Is this a question of my driving skills or something more rude?"

He got sarcastically angry. "Of your driving skills."

"Then yes, I do know how to drive a stick shift, although I never knew how very well and it's been awhile."

"Ok, then you take my car and drive me home. I'll get it back off you tomorrow."

"If I do that, how will I get my car back?"

"I'll drive you to your car when you come to give me mine back."

"It means that much to you that your car not sit here all night?"

"Yeah. Really, who's gonna steal yours? Mine on the other hand…" He stopped slowly chasing her backwards and stood looking at her. "Come on. A lot of people would jump at the chance to drive my car. It's not an offer I've made to that many people. I bet you like it better than that Honda."

"Alright already. I'll drive you home in your own car. You're the most stubborn person I've ever met." She growled as best as she could. It actually made him laugh.

"Gee, I've never heard that before."

"I just bet you haven't." They started toward the azure car together. When they reached the side of the car she put the key into the lock and turned. She opened the door and slid in. It took her a few moments to find the unlock button inside the unfamiliar car. When she managed Vince got in the other side. "Ok, how do I move the seat up?" It was some kind of different bucket seat. It barely fit her hips, though she bet it fit Vince's narrower ones like a glove.

"Lever on the front." It was going to take him an hour to get the car set back up the way he liked it, he thought irritably. He watched as she got the seat adjusted to her satisfaction and then reached up and fixed the mirror.

"This car is legal for the road right?"

"Mostly."

"What does mostly mean?"

"It means it's mostly legal." He growled, a slight slur to the words. "Nothing the cops are gonna find on the side of the road at two thirty in the morning ok?"

"Ok, just asking. Do you always take everything so darn personal?"

"Do you always ask so many stupid questions and use words like darn?"

"I try to avoid swearing." Gem answered primly, unwilling to admit that while she was not terribly religious she'd been raised a strict catholic and one did not use foul language in front of her mother or father without the soap bottle being brought out. "And I really can't afford a ticket right now."

"It's my car. You're doing your fuckin girl scout duty not lettin' me drive and I think most pigs'll go easy on you. Let's go."

"Yes sir!" She started the car after remembering to push the clutch pedal all the way in. She got it in reverse with some doing and backed it out of the parking spot fairly easily. Then she engaged first and started forward. The car stalled. "Oops."

"Jesus Christ! I thought you said you could drive a damn stick shift."

"I said it had been awhile." She started the car back up and got moving. Her shifts were a bit lurching but she managed not to stall again. "There aren't any big hills I'm going to have to stop on to get you home are there?"

"No, thank god. No one should drive if they can't drive stick. Automatics are for lazy people who don't really want to know how to drive."

"No one asked you." Gem said, starting to wish she'd simply let him drive his own car home. "Are you always this cranky?"

"Mostly, yeah."

"Ok, well just tell me how to get to your house. I'm pretty good with directions."

He told her where to go and they both fell silent, the radio tuned to a soft rock channel on satellite feed, the volume turned way down. The trip to Vince's house took them down a mostly deserted stretch of state highway. It was dark in the car, the only light offered by the moon and the soft blue light of the indiglo gauges in the car. It lulled Gem into a content state, like there was no where she'd rather be then flying through the night with nothing but the stars to see.

Gem happened to look over into the passenger seat and found her reluctant charge passed out cold. "So that's why he shut up." She murmured, unwilling to wake him. She found herself grinning again for no apparent reason. She mused it might just be thinking of the look on his face when he'd threatened to go after his keys. She was glad she'd gotten the complete directions from him before he'd passed out. She wasn't quite sure what she was going to do if he lived alone. She wasn't sure if she could get him up and into his house alone again.

She sang softly along with the radio and drove, enjoying the experience of driving a car that moved when she pressed the go pedal, even if she did have to worry about when to go into second and third. It wasn't so bad, not in a car as nice as Vince's.

Eventually she pulled up to a white house in a middle class neighbourhood. All the windows were dark. She parked the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition, looking at them to try and figure which might open his front door. It was a lost cause. She'd be willing to bet he had keys to about five cars on his keychain, not to mention a bunch that opened locks for buildings. As to which one opened the white house she had no idea. "Vince? Wake up."

He didn't listen. No help for it, she was going to have to go knock on the door and hope someone else was home. There was a baby blue car in the driveway so hopefully its owner would be able to get him up. With a sigh she got out of the car and walked up to the front door of the house. She knocked loudly. No one came so she knocked again and backed up down the step to get a view of the upstairs windows. There was a light on in one of them. The door was thrown open by a slight woman with long, wild dark hair. Her dark eyes were wild with panic. It disappeared when she took in Gem on her step.

"Oh my god I thought it was going to be a police officer!" She held her hand to her exposed throat.

"Hi there. Sorry to wake you but I think I have something that belongs to you in the car." Gem moved so the woman could see the blue car parked at the curb.

"Thank god he didn't drive." The woman gave Gem a strange look, like she was just now realizing there was a stranger at her door at almost three am. A stranger who had apparently driven Vince's car, and with his permission none the less, since she was still in one piece.

"Where are my manners? I'm so sorry. I'm Gem and I work at the club where your boyfriend was tonight. He fixed my car for me today so sort of knew him better than the other people who work there so I was elected to get him up and out when he passed out in the bar. Then he was going to drive himself home and we couldn't have that so I stopped him, but he insisted that his car make it home tonight. But now I can't get him up." Gem rushed to explain how she came to be in possession of the dark woman's man even as she fought a wave of jealousy. No one who came home to a girl as exquisitely pretty and feminine as this one would ever give her a second glance.

"Thank you so much for not letting him drive. He's horrible. So he let you drive his car?"

"Yes, not that I really wanted to and not that he really wanted to let me. I'm not very good with a manual."

"Well, let's get him in the house. I'm Mia by the way." Mia introduced herself as she kicked her feet into a pair of her flip flops and walked with Gem down toward the car.

Gem started to laugh. She couldn't help it. This was Mia.

"What's funny?" Mia asked, clearly not sure what to think.

"I sound like you when I lecture. When I said I couldn't let him drive in case he killed a family but lived himself because life isn't fair and then I'd have to hate him for being so stupid he said I sounded like Mia. I just assumed you were his sister."

Mia giggled, despite herself. "Well I am, in a way. Vince and my brother were best friends as kids. I'm not dating Vince."

"Oh." Gem noted the use of 'were' in the sentence. Either they no longer were friends or Mia's blood brother was dead. Either way it felt like a sore subject so she didn't pursue it. "Well, sorry for assuming. I don't want to seem like I'm prying. After all, I hardly know either of you. I only drove him home because I didn't want to turn him in to the cops. He seems like he has enough issues without getting picked up for DUI."

"That's the truth."

The two women reached the side of the car and Mia pulled the door open. "Ok V, get up."

"Wha?" His eyes blinked open, but not very far.

"You're home, let's get you to bed."

Mia took his hand and tried to help him up. She didn't have the strength to do it. Not anymore. She remembered when she'd been able to push him around at will. She really hadn't been taking care of herself. "I can't move him."

"Let me try." Gem said and traded places with Mia. She grabbed Vince's hand and pulled. He got up at her insistence and almost fell on her. "Ok, whoa there big guy. You have got to walk up to the house. We can't roll you." Gem giggled and Mia joined in.

"You're not funny." Vince growled.

"I find myself very funny." Gem smiled, still finding picking on him very amusing. Vince started to make his own way up the walk to the house. Mia and Gem followed him. It took the two of them to get him upstairs. He passed out onto his bed on his back.

"Just let him sleep there like that." Mia said, a look of disgust on her face once the novelty of Vince being driven home by the waitress from the bar he got drunk in wore off.

"We can't."

"Why not?" Mia retorted.

"Because if he throws up in his sleep he could choke to death. We need to put him on his side with his arm and his knee like, folded. You know, from first aid?"

"The recovery position. I was premed at one point. And you're right. No matter how mad at him I am right now I don't want him dead."

They got Vince onto his side with his knee crooked so he couldn't roll over. "We should get him a bucket if he's prone to getting sick when he has a lot to drink." Gem suggested gently.

"How much is a lot?"

"I think I counted about 17 beer bottles but I could be wrong."

"I'll get the bucket." Mia sighed and left the room. Gem started pulling off Vince's boots, figuring he could sleep in the rest of his clothes just fine.

"You're goin' to be sick tomorrow kid, no help for it."

"I bet he's about six years older than you. It's kind of funny to hear you call him kid." Mia had come back in the room while Gem was occupied with Vince's boots.

"Really? He's as old as twenty eight? He doesn't look it."

"You're twenty two?" Mia asked incredulously.

"Yes, how old did you think I was?" Gem asked, knowing with her hair pulled back she likely looked younger than she was.

"Nineteen."

"Thanks, I think. So he's twenty five then?"

"Yep. So, we content he's not going to die?" Mia asked with a smile.

"I don't think he'll die of natural causes through the night. I wouldn't put money on you not killing him tomorrow."

"Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind. Come on, I'll drive you to your car. That way you won't have to contend with a very hung over Vince early in the morning. I promise you if he knows someone else has his car he'll be up early looking for it."

"I wouldn't want to put you out. The Cobalt is like half an hour away."

"That's fine. Now that I'm up I'll be up most of the night. I worry about him."

There was a lot to that statement left unsaid, Gem figured as she watched the shadows in Mia's eyes. "I'm sorry I had to wake you. I had no idea what to do with him or what key opened the door."

"It's fine. I'm so happy you didn't let him drive I consider taking you to your car too little to do to repay you."

"You don't owe me a thing. I have brothers so I know how they can be."

Mia gave Gem a tired smile and led the way down the stairs. Mia drove Gem back to her car, the two women making small talk and finding out they had some common interests. They pulled into the parking lot. "Thanks again for getting Vince home safe. I know he's not much but he's all I got left."

"No sweat. He's got his issues, that's not hard to see, but he's not so bad. He fixed my car for next to nothing because I don't have a lot of money."

"He has his moments." Mia smiled. "I hope if I see you again it's under better circumstances."

"Me too! Night." Gem said as she shut the door. Mia waited until the lights of the little grey car came on and then she left. Gem followed suit and turned the opposite way toward her own home. No nice middle class neighbourhood for her. Back to the wonderful world of the boarding house in a fairly bad part of town.

If her father ever found out where she lived he'd kill her dead. When she got home this time she took her shower, enjoying the fact that most of the other boarders had been in bed for some time and that left the hot water plentiful. She took her time in the shower, heading up to her room only after she was a wrinkled prune.

After getting her nightgown on she sat at her little table and looked over her work. She turned her stereo on softly, playing easy listening, using it for mere background noise as she looked over what she'd already written.

When next she looked up the dawn was starting to break and she had a rough draft of her first ever completed song down on paper.

She dragged herself to her bed and fell in, falling into a deep and contented sleep.

The rest of the weekend flew by. By the time Gem came up for air it was Wednesday night and she was starting to get nervous about Thursday. Barry and Barbara were both pressuring her to participate in open mic night again. She just wasn't sure she was ready.

She also wanted to sing her own song but she didn't know if she could pull it off without the proper accompaniment. She had no one to play the keyboard parts, or drums. Not to mention she'd have to forgo her bass and play the lead guitar. She'd written the guitar tabs for an electric guitar which was something she didn't have and didn't know how to play anyway.

She'd been polishing the song all week and she was finally happy with it but no one was ever going to hear it because she would never be able to pull it off with nothing but her own acoustic stylings.

She'd never really expected to see Vince again, but he'd been back the night after she'd driven him home. She'd done what she thought he'd want and pretended nothing had ever happened. She figured he'd be embarrassed about how everyone had seen him. He didn't really let on if he was, but she'd caught something in his eyes the first time she'd seen him on Saturday night and she knew on some level he was ashamed of himself. There was a part of her she didn't want to look too hard at that had been worried she'd never see him again and that part was overjoyed to be wrong. She wasn't willing to do anything that might drive him away, logical or not.

It had been hard for him to go back to the Cobalt on Saturday night but he'd forced himself to. He wasn't willing to go looking for another place to go. It had taken him awhile to find the Cobalt and he didn't want to go through all the trouble of doing it all over again.

He'd caught the looks from the old broad and the bartender when he walked in again. He had made it a point not to drink to the point of losing his control again. When Gem had first set a beer on the table in front of him he'd expected a repeat of the bitch session Mia had subjected him to the morning after. Instead all he got was a sunny smile and a hello as she walked away.

He wasn't sure if he wanted her to make a scene or if he was happy she was so willing to let it go.

"I don't know Barry." He heard Gem talking to the bartender later that night, standing at the bar almost right behind him. That meant they were at the far end of the bar.

"You have to do this Gem. I can see it every time you talk about it that it's something you want to do."

"I do. I really do. But I'm no good and my guitar is junk. Even if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to play it well enough to pull off what I want to do. Besides it's acoustic and I need electric. I guess I should have known that just because I sound good in church and the shower doesn't mean I can cut it as a performer."

"You weren't so bad."

"I had people cat calling me about Jem and the Holograms."

"Some people are assholes." Barry shrugged, as though to say that was simply life.

"I don't even sound a thing like Jem. I'll have you know I loved that show when I was a kid. I always wanted to be a Misfit though. But you know what?" She didn't wait for Barry to answer, but continued on. "Even if they'd have offered me a spot on the Misfits I wouldn't have been able to take it because the Misfits break the rules and I only play by them. I'd have been Jem alright. Miss Goody two shoes herself."

"Don't be so hard on yourself sweetheart. The world needs more people like you. More good girls."

"Maybe, and maybe not, but if I was a Misfit I wouldn't be here moaning about playing my song, I'd just get up and do it."

"So just get up and do it."

"You make it sound so easy."

Gem walked away at that point and the conversation was over. Tomorrow was open mic. Vince hated the resigned note in Gem's voice when she talked about not being good enough to get up on stage and sing, and about being too good for her own good. She might have saved his life, the life of a lot of innocent people, and not to mention Mia's by being a good girl and making him do the right thing on Friday night and there was something to be said for that. As poor a substitute he was for her real brother, what would Mia do with no one at all?

That didn't mean he was going to say he was sorry. But he had an idea.

On Thursday night Barry sent Gem off to the green room to prepare for her performance at eight. He wasn't taking no for an answer but that was ok because Gem had a very ambitious plan. She was going to try and get Tamica to play the keyboard for her. She'd brought along all the sheet music just in case the other girl agreed. And fate participated because Tamica showed up early. She also agreed to play the song happily; content to be given a piece to play that was both challenging and freed her from doing her own singing.

"You know Elliott can actually play the drums right?" Tamica asked as she looked over the music Gem had given her in the green room.

"He can?" There's something he can actually play?"

"Yeah." Tamica grinned. "'Bout blows the mind doesn't it?"

"He good enough to play from sheet music?"

"Yep. And he'll love the chance to go out there and just play something he's good at too."

"Now if I could just play guitar I'd be set." Gem grinned despite her statement.

"You'll be ok."

"Because you're going to play this." Both girls looked up at the open door to find Vince standing in it. "This a bad time?"

"Not at all." Gem stood up, her manners perfect no matter the circumstance. It was how she'd been raised and nothing had ever made her forget it. She tried to never be rude or raise her voice. It wasn't lady like and being lady like was something she'd been taught from an early age. So even though they'd hardly spoken in a week and had hardly known each other before that Gem was still going to behave as though they were long lost friends. "Tamica this is Vince. Vince, Tamica."

"Hi." He barely spared Tamica a glance. "I want you to use this for your song." Vince handed over a case.

"What is it?" Gem took the black bundle on instinct.

"Open it."

She sat and did as instructed, only to find a beautiful cream and black electric guitar. The fact the guitar was not a child's toy or from a second hand store was apparent, the guitar was also obviously well loved. "I can't use this." She looked up at Vince with wonder in her eyes. "I'll break it."

"It's just a guitar, you won't break it."

"This is far from just a guitar and even if I didn't think something would happen to it I can't play it. I don't know how. Where'd you get it?"

"It's mine. I use to play."

"Well I can't take it."

"I'm telling you, you can borrow the damn guitar."

"Thank you very much but I can't. I wouldn't know the first thing about how to play it even if I was willing to borrow it."

"What can you play?" Vince asked in irritation. What kind of musician was she?

"I can play this." Gem set the bulls eye patterned instrument back in its case and pulled a second case out from under the couch. She flipped the latches, lifted the lid and removed a Zon Sonus electric four string bass finished in Caribbean blue out of the case. Love for the instrument made her countenance almost glow.

It was a pro's instrument and the way she ran her hands over it made Vince think of things which had nothing to do with guitars. She looked up at him. "I know it's silly that I can play this and not a regular guitar but give me anything but my bass and I don't know what to do with it. I've tried to learn the electric guitar but I never manage to play anything resembling a tune."

"But you need an electric guitar. I heard you telling the bartender last night."

"I do, but I also need an electric guitar player. You up for it?" Hope lit her eyes. He could play. It worried her that he might figure out he was the inspiration for her song, but surely he wouldn't think so when they'd only been acquainted a week and had spent most of it dancing around talking about anything to do with personal topics.

"I don't play anymore." His eyes were shuttered when he said it, discouraging any questions about why he didn't play anymore but still owned such an expensive instrument.

"I don't play at all so you're one up on me. Come on! It'll be fun." She cajoled happily. It'll keep you mostly sober an extra hour so poor Mia doesn't go out of her mind worrying about you.

"I don't know." On one hand he really didn't want to. On the other he had loved to play his guitar. Really play it, not show off for some chick he thought would be easier to pick up if she thought he was a cool rocker dude.

"Have a seat and look at the tabs. See what you think." She handed over the sheets of paper.

Vince skimmed it quickly and then looked up at her. "You wrote this?"

"Yes, why? Is it horrible? I wondered if it might be. I can't play the guitar but I hear it in my head the way I want it, you know? I'm just never sure if I'm writing it down right."

"No, it's good. Did you go to school for this shit?"

"Just high school band and a few piano lessons."

"You really want me to play this for you tonight?" He asked on a sigh. He owed her. He didn't like it, wouldn't admit it and he really didn't want to get up on stage. But he owed her and this was important to her. She'd ignored his jackass routine night after night, and ignored it with a happy smile.

"Well, first I'd like to make sure you really know how to play, and read sheet music." She smirked playfully, teasing him. He made a face of mock concentration and played a horribly out of tune chord. Though it was a joke his guitar was showing the lack of attention it had suffered over the last year. He started to fiddle with the tuning pegs, a look of intense concentration on his face.

"Don't worry; it'll all come back before I get on stage." He picked up her music and looked over it again. "Do I get to read the song before we go out there?"

"Yes! You're going to do it! We have a real honest to God band Tamica. Can you believe it?" Gem's happiness bubbled over in her huge grin and laughing eyes. She also had managed to neatly side step his question.

"I just hope we all get everything on time since we're doing this without a practice run. And where is Elliott?"

"I'm right here. Why?" Elliott walked in the room. "New guy?"

"Yeah, new guy." Tamica answered before Vince could. "You are playing the drum set for Gem tonight. We're her new band." Tamica handed over the drum music.

"Gem wrote this?" Elliott scanned the sheets of lined paper.

"Yes, now the question of the hour is can you play it?"

"Sure. If I don't have to sing no sweat. Do you know what a relief it's going to be to go out there knowing no one is going to boo me? I can play drums."

Gem smiled at Elliott's exuberance and crossed the room. She knelt in front of Vince where he was mock strumming the guitar sitting in an armchair, looking deep in concentration, her sheet music propped up where he could read it. "You sure you're ok with this? I know I almost forced you to with my begging and whining and it's a complicated piece to just be tossed."

Vince looked up into her eyes and simply launched into her song. He never looked at the paper again. He played the whole first verse before trailing off. "I use to be good."

Gem tossed her head back and laughed out loud. It was like Jesus himself had sent her a guitar player. She couldn't explain how much she wanted to just squeeze Vince until he popped she was so grateful for the fact he could play the guitar so well. When she stopped laughing she looked at Tamica and Elliott over her shoulder, a huge grin on her lips. They were looking at her like doubts about her sanity had risen. "He used to be good. He just memorized one of the most complicated things I've ever written and it only took him ten minutes but he used to be good."

"And none of us get to hear the words until we're out there huh?"

Gem held the paper with her vocals closer to her chest. "No way. It's going to be hard enough to sing them. I don't think I could if anyone knew what was coming first. It's like letting people into your private world to share your own writing with them." She picked up her guitar. "And I get to play my guitar. I've missed it so much!"

"Someone should tell Nalia we're all going on together with Gem tonight." Elliott spoke up.

"Yeah, well I'll still go on alone after." Tamica answered.

"No me. This is like a perfect solution for me." Elliott grinned. "I'll go tell her. I'll be right back." He dashed off. When he came back he looked slightly less exuberant. "We're on first."

"In that case we should all trade music so we know where we all come in." Tamica handed the piano score to Vince and took the guitar music from him. She handed it to Elliott and took the drum music.

"I'll have the vocals next." Vince looked up at Gem.

"I'll give you this music when you tell me what 'C' is short for."

Vince looked at Gem in shock. "That's dirty."

"That's fair trade."

"I guess I get to hear the song when you sing it then. Hope I come in at the right time."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, judging by what you already did."

"No kidding. I'm going to need this music on the keyboard or I'll be screwed." Tamica joined in from her place on the couch.

"Me too." Elliott said. "Where'd you learn to play like that?"

"Around." Vince answered and looked at Elliott in a way that suggested the younger man stop the line of questioning. It worked as Elliott's mouth snapped shut.

"Ok." Tamica drawled. Gem had sure gotten herself into an interesting situation. No one had need bother to think she didn't recognize Gem's new guitar player. She knew who he was. He had an almost legendary reputation at the Cobalt and Tamica had no idea how someone as sweet as Gem had ended up not only knowing his name but also knowing him well enough to be offered the loan of an obviously treasured possession. But Gem needed a guitar player and the boy certainly was that. Not only that, but how they knew each other was none of her business.

"Oh don't be such a grump. It's not like he asked you if stole the guitar or something. Shesh." Gem teased Vince gently.

Tamica waited for the fireworks to begin and was more then a little shocked when instead of blowing up the grump in question fought to keep a ghost of a smile off his face.

The call came over the speaker, letting them know it was time to take the stage.

"We ready?" Gem asked, wiping her sweaty hands off on her pants. She was beyond nervous this time. It was ten times worse to go out on stage knowing if everyone hated her performance this time they were essentially hating her since she'd put so much of herself into her song.

"Hell yeah." Elliott answered with such enthusiastic conviction Gem couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"If we could bottle that confidence we could get rich."

"Well, if the music is anything to go by we have nothing to worry about. Your score is great." Tamica wrapped an arm around Gem's shoulders and started to lead her out of the green room. "It's all gonna be fine." She looked back over her shoulder at Vince. "You comin?"

"Yeah." He picked up his guitar and followed the other three out of the room. They climbed onto the stage and he immediately went to the darkest corner of it and plugged his guitar into the amp provided. He watched as Gem jacked her bass into her larger amp and then walked up to the mic.

"Um, hi." She started nervously. "Tonight we are going to play a song I wrote. We've never run through it before so please forgive us any mistakes we make. We'll try not to make this too painful. Most of you know Tamica, who will be playing the keyboard for me, and Elliott, who will be playing the drum line this evening. Those of you who have been here before will be relived to know drums are his thing and he will not be singing this evening."

There was a smattering of laughter from the regulars and Elliott grinned, well aware that singing was not his strong suit.

"Also we have Vince on the lead guitar, thus sparing you from my attempts to play the instrument in question and leaving me free to play my bass, which I assure you I can play." Gem gained more confidence the longer she was up front without anyone saying anything rude. Her song was good, according to all her friends (the sum total of which was the people on stage with her plus Barry, but she didn't let that fact undermine her new found confidence,) and she knew she could sing when she sang her own stuff at home. "So with that out of the way, here goes nothing."

She glanced at Tamica and she started to play the keyboard, the song opening on a set of simple piano notes. After Tamica played the same notes several times Gem started to sing.

"Under the weight of your wings, you are a god and whatever I want you to be. And I wonder if truly you are nearly as beautiful as I believe."

When she sang 'beautiful' Vince came in with the guitar line, a simple chord to begin, merging perfectly with the keyboard's voice and perfectly on time. Hiding in the shadows at the back of the stage he played with a skill Gem would be forever thankful for. There was a span of time where it was only guitar and keyboard carrying the song before Elliott joined them with a simple drum line. Gem broke into the chorus of her song.

"In my head, your voice. You've got all that I need, and this make believe will get me through another lonely night."

She was mesmerizing when she was singing a song she was passionate about, Vince thought as he watched her sing and play her bass from his position all but hiding at the back of the small stage area. He'd agreed to do this as a favour, not to become famous for his guitar playing skills.

But he couldn't stop a small smile from forming when he thought about how good it was to just play his guitar again. To play a real song.

Why had Gem been playing something as inane as the song she'd sung last week with songs like this one kicking around in her repertoire? Just because she hadn't known she'd been able to get a band together to accompany her, or was there more to it?

Under the weight of your wings, should ever we meet on your side of the stereo, I will pretend I know not of your thoughts and even the way that they mirror my own. I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go."

Though not his style of music the song was beautiful; relevant and heartfelt. It was like she knew when he was around her he thought about things that didn't occur to him other times, like how nice it would be to just be normal again. She did take him away with her to another place when he was around her. Her smile was so happy and given without reservation, and the way she purposely got happier the surlier he got made him want to smile. That was something no one else could claim in a very long time.

The way she'd managed to blend all the instruments together to compliment her voice perfectly was amazing. When he'd played in a band before, back in high school, they'd played a totally different kind of music. The point hadn't been to compliment the singer, it had been to try and make people bang their heads. Gem's music was a totally different style then anything he'd ever been involved in before.

She sung the chorus again and again he was struck by the purity of her voice, the power behind it. She held her pitch almost perfectly, something most of today's popular singers couldn't do live on a small stage to save their lives. Most popular entertainers were creations of the sound studio, but not Gem. She managed to hit all her high notes without going sharp and her low tones were smoky and evocative. The way they were functioning as a cohesive unit despite never having played together before was downright amazing.

Tamica was one hell of a piano player and it was amazing to think the kid who'd assaulted his eardrums every Thursday for as long as he'd been going to the Cobalt was playing the drum line totally on time.

"Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat. Melancholy and cool, kind of bittersweet. Love on repeat, I'm echoing all your philosophies. And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat, melancholy and cool, kind of bittersweet. Love on repeat.

I'm echoing all your philosophies. And as I..."

If he wasn't mistake she'd glanced at him out of the corner of her eye when she'd sang the last verse. What was that about?

Gem glanced at Vince as surreptitious as she could out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to know if he looked like he had figured out the song was about him. He was simply engrossed in his playing as far as she could tell. She fought a feeling of relief that left her weak in the knees. What would she do if he ever figured out her secret? It was practically mortifying to be sharing something so personal with a bar full of people as it was. She didn't know what she'd do if the object of her fantasy found out he was her inspiration.

She couldn't ask for her friends to do a better job of playing her song. They were dead on the tempo. Tamica played the piano like no one Gem had ever heard and Vince was putting just the right amount of attitude into the guitar.

"Oh...I don't wanna be fool-hearted Baby. I'm out numbered in my head. I don't, I don't wanna be fool-hearted Baby. I'm out numbered in my head. My head..."

She could fall hard for him, she realized as she launched into the chorus again. And that would be stupidity indeed, totally fool hearted. He was too volatile by half. With his all too elusive smile that made her feel like she'd been given a gift when he gave her one. She was getting in over her head. Nothing he'd ever said had implied he felt more for her then a vague sense of beholdenment for making sure he got home alive and for putting up with his surly disposition. She sang the chorus a second time and went into the last bit of her song, Vince and Elliot stopping just when they should, Tamica's beautiful piano notes the only accompaniment to the last sentence of song.

"…Lonely night... Under the weight of your wings, I make believe you are all that I'll ever need. All that I need..."

She finished on a tremulous sigh as the last piano note wavered in the air until it finally died away. The audience remained silent. Oh man, I still sucked, Gem thought as she looked around at the stunned faces in the crowd.

One by one the people sitting around the bar started to clap. Those who had been present for her cover song couldn't believe they'd just watched the same girl perform. She was a totally different person. The clapping grew to a thunderous applause.

Vince watched as Gem blushed from the attention and grinned a mile wide. He'd noticed the same thing as everyone else. She was a totally different person on stage when she was doing her own thing.

They all filed off the stage into the green room. He walked in last to find Tamica and Gem hugging happily.

"You were great!" Gem told Tamica happily. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone play the keyboard that well before. I couldn't have done it without you!" She turned to Elliott, "Or you!" She hugged Elliott as well and he returned the gesture happily.

"It was fun to do something I'm good at for a change."

"And you!" Tamica looked at Gem speculatively. "Where were you hiding that voice? And why on earth were you ever singing cover tunes with songs like that one up your sleeve?"

"I never wrote a song that worked like that before in my life, I swear it." Gem couldn't get the satisfied grin off her face. As a band they'd been great. She couldn't have asked for them to do better. She did wonder why Vince hadn't come back for his guitar case yet. On that note she turned around to look at the door to the room and found him standing there. "Well, don't just stand there, get in here." She called. He obeyed her request almost reluctantly. "You were great! Thank you so much."

"No sweat." Vince tossed his guitar back into the case. "I almost had fun."

She grinned at his surly remark. She was pretty sure that the constant bad mood was just a protection device. She'd allow him to keep it, for now, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to keep on ignoring it either. "Well I did have fun, but if you hadn't helped me out I wouldn't have had half as much, so thanks again." She thought about hugging him, but was unclear how well it would go over so she forwent it for a pat on the shoulder on her way by him. "I should get back to work. See you guys later, and thanks again."

Gem did go back to work and her victory on the stage kept her spirit in the clouds all night. It also helped that Vince had slowed down his drinking habit. He didn't end up with half the drinks he normally would and Gem held out hope that he was staring a new trend.

When they started to close up she had a crazy idea, but she figured it couldn't hurt to try. She walked up to Vince as he was about to go out the door. She was done for the night anyway. "Hey Vince."

He turned back to her. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Ok," he looked wary.

"Do you think your friend would mind if I called her sometime?"

"Who? Mia?"

"Yeah, Mia. It was just that she seemed really nice and I don't really know anyone in LA yet. I was wondering if you thought she would mind if I called her sometime."

Vince thought for a second. Mia would likely love it in actual fact and she never left the house but to work anymore and it really didn't look like she had any friends to him. Not anymore. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Would you mind giving me her number then?" Gem pulled out a pen and notepad. Vince gave her the number, then they walked around the side of the building together. "See you later." Gem said as she tossed her case into her back seat and got ready to get in her car.

"What, no protest about innocent families?" Vince wanted to kick himself the minute his statement left his mouth. Why did he go and bring up what had happened before? He didn't want to think about it, let alone talk about it.

"Nope, I figure as long as you can walk without stumbling and talk without slurring you're likely ok." She smiled gently. "But still, drive safe."

"Um." He grunted a response and walked over to his car. He watched until he saw her lights come on before starting his own car. Her Honda wasn't in great shape and he didn't like her driving it around, thinking about the fact it could let her down again anytime. For someone raised in a big city like 'Frisco she sure acted like a small town girl. There was a certain naivety about her that made him worry sooner or later L.A. was just going to swallow her whole.