An Unexpected Love: Ghost

by tarskeewee08

(Evangeline's POV)

Oh my god this can't be happening. I can't take much more of this. Michael holds me up as my knees get weak from the stress. He walks me over to the bench and Uncle Clay runs to my other side fearful that I might slip from his grasp. Thinking of John and him having an emotional breakdown my pressure elevates and the throbbing in my temples intensifies.

"Van, this is your last trimester you have to calm down. This is not good for the baby!" Mike says rubbing my back sitting next to me.

I look up at him and try to steady my breathing. I feel one of my panic attacks coming on and it's making it hard for me to concentrate on what he's saying. "John…" I wheeze out.

"He's fine sweetie." Clay says on the other side of me touching my knee. I shake my head unable to speak. I have to get to him. I have to show him that he can do this and I support him. I can't let him go through this alone.

"Calm down" Mike says and I feel some of the tension subside.
"Okay…okay…" I wheeze.
As they both rub and coax me out of my panic Dr. Jamison comes down the corridor heading for us. We all look up and I pray that he says my man is okay. I pray that he gives me some hope that we can get through this.

"Michael, Evangeline…" He says and looks at Uncle Clay unsure of whom he is. Clay stands and extends his hand "Clay Williamson, Evangeline's uncle."

Jamison shakes his hand and smiles. Michael speaks first "How is he?"

"He had to be sedated, he suffered what I think is a psychotic break but I will need to examine him further to determine why? Do you have any idea what happened to him?"

Mike told us all about Natalie's horrific death and John's reaction. I listened heartbroken at how he drew his gun screaming about his father. I told the doctor about his killing a suspect earlier that day. Dr. Jamison listened to us and nodded taken it all in.

"Can I see him?" I asked weakly

Dr. Jamison shook his head sadly "No Evangeline, I will need sometime with him before anyone can visit him."

I burst into tears "Please...I need to see him! I have to he needs me. This is his worst nightmare. You won't get anywhere with him without someone he trusts."

Dr. Jamison thought it over. "Give me 72 hours to get him under control and then call my office and we'll arrange it. It's the best I can do."

Crying now Mike puts his arm around me pulling me under him. "Thank you doctor" he says and uncle clay asks some additional questions. I can't hear them anymore instead I hear John asking me to just love him for him. I know him and this is going to be traumatic. He needs my support. God I just realized something I've been denying since I found out I was pregnant, I need his support too.

We all leave St. Anne's and I'm so exhausted I get in the car and fall asleep on the way home. Uncle Clay wakes me and helps me up the stairs into my condo. I don't remember much of how he got me into the bed but I welcome the soft comfort of the pillow top mattress and clean freshly laundered sheets. I roll over and drift into a fitful sleep holding my stomach and rubbing the little gymnast inside.

Several hours later at St. Anne's

"Johnny..."
Opening my eyes I turn my head and see my dad sitting in the corner watching me. I turn my head away and look toward the wall. "Go away!" I whimper
"Johnny…we need to talk" he says
"I don't want to talk to you!" I say squeezing my eyes shut. Pulling on my restraints my body aches from the drug and I give up much sooner than I normally would.

"Johnny, its time we deal with this."
"Dad, please…"
"Listen son…my death"
"NO!" I scream trying to block him out of my head. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to deal with this!"
"Johnny…my death wasn't your fault…please son lets deal with this. I want to help you save your own life!"

I shake my head and scream and scream….finally his voice faded. Opening my eyes I see I'm alone, sighing I try to breathe. Moving my arms I struggle again against my restraints but nothing happens.

"John…" a soft voice beckons.

Turning my head I can't see in the dark but suddenly she moves into my view. "Katie?"
She smiles at me. "Yes baby" she says walking over to my side and touches my face.
"Katie, I miss you so much"
"I know baby" she says leaning over and kissing my forehead.
"I am so sorry…" I choke out crying
"Listen to me John….listen closely, you didn't fail me. You were the love of my life and I wouldn't trade one moment I've spent with you."
"Noooo! I failed you! You're dead and its all my fault. I did this! Now you're dead!" I say shaking my head wanting her to go. This hurts too much and I can't take it. "Just go away!"

"John please….you have so much to loose now."
I open my eyes "Evangeline?"
Caitlyn smiles "Yes Evangeline and your daughter."

My dad comes up on the side of her and smiles "You're going to be a dad, and it's the best thing in the word Johnny, but if you don't fight to gain some control and let go of all this pain you will loose them both son. I can't sit back and let you do that. Neither of us can sit back and let that happen." he says winking at me.

"I am going to be a dad. She's having a girl" I say nodding tears in my eyes.
"So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to fight for them or give up" Caitlyn ask lovingly.

I look at them both and close my eyes "I don't need your help. I can do this on my own!" I say waiting for them to argue with me. Opening my eyes I see their gone and I sigh a sense of relief. I can't say why even to myself but I just don't want to unbury these demons. I just want to get out of here and back to my Evangeline.

"John"

I look over and now its Natalie and she's standing there smiling. I let tears fall from eyes and I look at her regretfully. "Natalie?" I say weakly
"John, why did you choose her and not me? All I wanted was to be loved. Why did you make me feel that it was even a possibility if you wanted her all along?"

"I'm sorry Natalie" I say crying and closing my eyes.
"But why John? Why did you even allow me into your life?"

"I had to make it up to you. I ruined your life and my dad he tried to save your life but your husband pulled a gun and shot my daddy and I tried to save you and I shot your husband. Then Christian died and it was my fault, but he came back and he wasn't dead but worse and it was my fault. I wanted to help you then you were kidnapped. I tried to help you and you almost died so I tried….I tried…I tried…."

Crying hard now I and barely breathing I shake my head side to side. I don't want to be here. The ghosts won't leave me. I can't escape them. Somebody help me. I need Evangeline, where is she? I want to be with her and only her and just forget the past.

Now they are surrounding my bed and even the man that I killed at the age of nine is standing at the foot of my bed with the bullet in his head. They speak at once and I whimper from the crushing pain of having them all over me. I can't escape them and I feel like I'm drowning.

The Next Day

"Wake up sweetie."

I open my eyes to see my mom coming into my room and frown "Mom, what are you doing here?" I ask lifting touching my stomach. My sweetie kicked all through the night and I had a restless sleep. As I get bigger I find it harder to get comfortable when lying down.

Mom comes in with a tray of breakfast and coffee. I sit all the way up in the bed. She has a hard time positioning the tray up onto my lap but she places it as far as it would go. "Thank you mommy"

"How are you today baby?" my mother ask touching my face as I sip my steamy hot coffee
"Its hard mom."
"Clay called me and told me what happened."
"He's in that place and even though I wanted him to get help I can't take the idea of him being institutionalized."

Mom looks at me confused "What is wrong with John cookie?"
I lower the cup and pick up a slice of melon to eat "He has some traumas from his past that he's had a hard time facing"
"Trauma?"
"I know that you don't like him but…."
"Cookie, I like John. I have since the first time I met him."
I look at my mom shocked "Really?"
"Yes…I just don't think that a man that can't say I love you is one that you fight for. I think that you are worthy of a man that sees your beauty and value with out provocation."

Eating the melon I say nothing. I don't want to fight with her and actually what she's saying is how I felt before. It's why I ended things with John. But this pregnancy and his breakdown has made me face a greater truth. You fight for love. You fight for the person that you love when he can't fight himself. I will fight until John tells me that he doesn't want the life we deserve a shot at.

Mom looks at me eat and says nothing. I feel my pumpkin deliver a love tap and smile. "Give me your hand mom" I say taking her hand again.
She places it on my stomach and feels my baby move. I get a wave at sadness that John still hasn't felt her kick. These are moments we should be sharing. "Cookie this is so exciting I can't wait for her to come."

I grin me either. The phone rings and mom gets up and goes for it. I'm trapped under the tray but I watch her anxious to know if its news about John. She comes over immediately and hands it to me.

"Hello"
"Van, hey…its Michael"
"Mike how is he?"
"I called and checked this morning, he's refusing treatment and they keep medicating him to keep him from breaking his restraints."

Mom moves the tray and I sit up straight. "Mike I need to see him. They can't use drugs to calm him, that's not the way to deal with this."

"I agree Van. I spoke to Jamison and he's going to meet with him today and try to get him off the meds. He won't lift the 72 hour hold on him"

Shaking my head sadly I can't get my head around this. What is happening? How did we get here? "Have you heard anything on the person responsible for the hit and run?" I ask.

"I haven't checked yet, been to worried about John"
"I know but it just seems odd to me that Lay would be run off the road and now Natalie hit and killed. I wonder if it's this biker gang? I wonder if my sister is still in danger"
"I don't know" he says sadly
"Mike call me when there is any change in John. I want to see him sooner and if Jamison grants a visit I have to be there"
"Okay Van, will you be coming to the hospital?"
"I think I will go to the station and see Nora, I need to know that the case is closed where Layla is concerned. I will try to get over there."

"Okay talk to you soon"
"Bye"
"Bye"

Passing the phone to my mother she looks at me concerned "So Clay was under the impression that her death was an accident. Do you think it's connected to Layla?"

"No, well I don't know mom I just don't like the fact that they were both attacked so close together. Something's not right about it."

Mom looks at me and nods. "I will take you to the station"
I shake my head no and throw my legs over the edge of the bed "Mom, I'm okay I will meet you at the hospital."

She looks at me concerned. "Cookie, don't you think that you have been overdoing it?"
I look up at her and smile "Actually I do, so after I get Layla situated I'm going to take some time to regroup. Plus I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow."
"Really?"
"You want to come?" I ask her knowing she does. She grins at me and I wink rising from the bed heading to the bathroom. I sigh inwardly thinking how I hadn't showed John a sonogram. I can't believe that something as wonderful as our daughter's conception and upcoming birth is surrounded by this pain and sorrow.

This story archived at: The John and Evangeline