Catalyst

by tempest-races

A catalyst is not consumed by a reaction, only precipitates it; remaining itself unchanged and yet instigating momentious change in the reagents. Like a catalyst, will they fall out of solution unscathed or will the reaction consume them both?

4. Bleed

AN: Another long chapter. I don't know if it's a bad thing or not but never the less this chapter is incredibly long. Not sure if I have anything else to add to that or not other than please review and thank you for the wonderful reviews I've already gotten. I'm so glad to know that Gem seems real to people. Hola from the land of Anne, Tempest.

Catalyst

By - TempestRaces

Chapter 4 – Bleed

Gem got back to work and watched for Tamica to go on stage. Once the dark woman had finished her song Gem informed Barry she was going on her break and headed back to the green room. She found Tamica and Elliott accompanied by Celeste.

"Tamica," Gem practically wailed. "What am I going to do?"

Celeste looked up in interest as Tamica shot Gem a warning glance. "Calm down G. Do about what?" Tamica cut her eyes to Celeste, trying to warn Gem about the blonde's big mouth.

Gem followed Tamica's gaze and calmed down slightly. She realized Celeste would be due on stage any second. "My car! It's on its last legs and I have no money."

"I'm sure your mechanic can fix it." Tamica said with a wink.

"Oh please." Celeste broke into the conversation as she snorted through her nose and somehow managed to have even that unladylike action come off as ultrafeminine. "I assume by 'her mechanic' you are referring to the tattooed guy who sits in that dark corner at the end of the bar every night?"

"What's it to you?" Tamica asked, her head moving from one side to the other to illustrate her pique.

"That guy isn't interested in her. I mean, look at him than look at her. What about her could possibly hold his interest? The shy little timid mouse does not attract the ferocious panther unless it's for a quick snack. Trust me, if that guy has any interest in her it's because he thinks she'd be easy enough to wow into a no strings attached night in bed."

"The fact she's smart and pretty and sings better than anyone we've had in here in the last few years got you nervous?" Elliott asked snidely, a quick glance at Gem telling him that Celeste's barbs had found their mark. Gem's face was quickly turning ashen white.

"She might sing better than you perhaps but I think better than anyone else is a bit of an over statement. Don't you?" Celeste asked, cocking one perfectly arched brow.

"I know she sings better'n you. Writes better songs than you too. Don't be hatin' on her just because she writes all her own shit and has a guy who's eye you tried to catch for months interested in her," Tamica almost growled.

"Guys, there's no need to fight. V is my mechanic but it's not like I'm dating him." Gem protested quietly. Celeste's remarks had hurt her deeply but she tried not to let it show. After all, hadn't she reached the same conclusion herself?

"V?" Celeste's eyebrow-which had returned to its normal orientation on her face-was once again raised into her hairline. "Who's V?"

"Vince. We call him V. The guy in the dark corner." Gem clarified, wondering if Celeste was just being a jerk or if she'd honestly forgotten their conversation already.

"Who's we?" Celeste asked and if Gem didn't miss her guess she was mad about something.

"Mia and I. I've moved in with Mia and Vince as a boarder." Gem felt some of her good mood return when she got to rub Celeste's nose in the fact she might not be seeing Vince in a relationship sense but he certainly couldn't just sleep with her and never call. She knew where his room was.

"Really?" Celeste was clearly about to have something to say about that when the speaker blared to life and Nalia's voice came across calling Celeste onto the stage.

"I thought they'd never call her." Elliott sighed, flopping onto the couch in relief.

"No kiddin'." Tamica growled. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke again. "Now what did you need to talk to us about."

"Well," Gem started to pace agitatedly around the room. "There's this problem I think I'm going to be having soon."

"Lemme get this straight, you don't have a problem right now but you think you will soon?"

"I know it sounds crazy Tamica but listen. For years in 'Frisco I tried to write songs. I mean really tried. I couldn't write a single song worth playing, they all turned out horribly. Then I meet Vince and all of a sudden I can write songs that don't sound awful."

"So you got inspired by him. Big deal. Lots of people get inspired by different things Gem. It's not like you're the first."

What am I going to do if he figures it out?"

"Figures what out?"

"Damn Elliott, keep up or take notes! If he figures out he's not just a member of the band but the basis of the songs we're playing."

"Oh. Oh." Elliott said again once it really dawned on him what the issue was.

"Exactly! So what am I supposed to do here? Keep writing what's in my heart? Or stop writing songs so he doesn't figure out it's about him?"

"Or, as another option, what if you just told him it was about a long lost lover if he should ever ask?" Elliott sat deeper into the couch as he offered his solution, the burnt orange color tossing his electric blue button down shirt into stark relief and making his blue-black hair look even more mussed than it normally did.

"I don't know if I lie that well." Gem said as a pinched look of worry crossed her face.

"Sure you do. Or at least you can if you need to." Tamica paused to think before meeting Gem's eyes again and carrying on. "Gem, you have a talent but it's not that clear to see when you're singing insipid songs that some pop idol made in a studio sang first. You shine when you sing your own stuff. You have something, this like inner glow that turns you into someone else when you're on stage. You do tend to be shy when you're waiting on people but the second those stage lights hit you and you have your own stuff to sing that falls off you and it's like you're someone else. You're golden when you do your own thing, I mean, you're golden with our help," Elliott nodded his agreement with Tamica's words, "but if you stop writing then that all goes away again. You can't sing Break Away for the rest of your life."

"I know that," Gem fought tears just thinking about the whole situation, "but what would I do if he ever figured it out? I mean, both of my songs so far were so personal. I think I'd die of embarrassment if he figured out I was singing about him."

"You like this guy." Elliott said as a smile spread across his face. "You like him but you don't want him to know. He is cute, in a rugged sort of way."

"You like him?" Tamica looked at Gem in shock. "You like the Corona guy?" She asked in disbelief.

"Well, so what if that's true. Celeste is right, it's not like he'd ever be interested in me that way so why should I get my hopes up? I'm nothing to him but an excuse why he never comes home."

"Come again?" Tamica asked.

"Now that I live there he doesn't have to feel guilty about leaving his friend Mia home alone all the time. Listen, it's a long story but trust me when I say any feelings are totally one sided and not even appreciated." Gem continued to pace, adding agitated hand motions to the mix. "Guys, this guy has a lot of baggage. I don't want to get into it, even if I do like him."

"Then you really shouldn't have moved into his house." Elliott said, sounding like he was pointing out something very obvious to someone who should have known it already.

"It's not his house. It's Mia's. Vince just lives there with her. I didn't move in there for Vince, I did it for Mia."

"Do we get to meet Mia?"

"This isn't exactly her scene. I might invite her some Thursday but I don't think she'd enjoy it."

"Gem, stop worrying about this." Tamica crossed to Gem and forcefully stopped her pacing by taking hold of Gem's shoulders. "If he figures it out-and that's a big if, he doesn't hit me as exactly the sharpest tool in the shed-than you'll just deny it or lie about it, or admit you have feelings for him but they're feelings you aren't interested in pursuing. You are too good at this to just give it up over some guy you may or may not like who may or may not ever realize it."

Gem forced out a huge breath. "You're right. If he figures it out then he does. It's not worth throwing away my dream over." Gem turned toward the door. "I should really get back to work before Celeste is done of her song."

"Ok. You know, we should think about getting together to practise ahead of time this week."

"Elliott, that would only work if I had the song ready more than a few hours before we went on stage." Gem smiled.

"I guess so." Elliot laughed.

"Talk to you guys later either way. Sometime Mia and I will have to have you over to the house for dinner or something and you can meet her that way."

"That'd be nice." Tamica waved as Gem left the room and got back to work. She waited a few tables before she just got Vince a Corona and headed his way. She never knew from one hour to the next what mood she'd find him in.

She set the beer on the table in front of him and turned to walk away.

Vince wasn't happy about what he was about to do but he didn't see any other way around it. "Gem?" He called. He was going to have to ask her what the song had meant. He'd been trying to puzzle it out since they'd left the stage but he hadn't made any headway.

"Um?" She asked as she turned back to him, a smile fixed on her face. The constant good mood.

"That song you wrote? What's it mean?"

"What do you mean what does it mean?"

"Well, what's a citadel? I thought it was a big fancy church but that doesn't make sense."

"It can be a church but another way to think of it is like a stronghold or safe place." Gem really didn't want to elaborate any farther.

"So it's like the world outside the safe place. That was what you were talking about?"

"Yeah, that's exactly it. Just about the uncomfortableness of going outside the places we're used to. We all have a part of us scared to jump into the outside world, no matter how much the rest of us wants to take the plunge."

"I guess I see." Vince answered, but he wasn't sure he understood at all. There was more to the story, there was something he was missing, but it didn't seem like Gem wanted to fill him in. He did see where she was coming from. He was scared to admit he was afraid to start fully living again so he just didn't. In her case he figured she was just uncomfortable talking about her songs, which she readily admitted were very personal to her. "Anyway, I was thinking." Vince looked up at Gem.

Gem couldn't ignore the opportunity. "Is that where the smoke came from?"

"Ha ha. Seriously, you know, it really doesn't make sense for us to both drive here every day. You should just start riding with me."

"Thanks for the offer but I like driving myself to work at night. I like to take the time to chill out and listen to my stereo."

"Your car would last longer if you drove it less."

"Maybe, but why have it last longer just to not use it? Seems to defeat the purpose if you ask me. Besides, I normally leave much earlier than you."

"I could leave earlier than I do."

"I really appreciate you offering, and the fact you're concerned for me but I'll be ok. I'll replace the car as soon as I save enough money so that I won't have a payment for the new one and until then the Honda will be ok."

"Suit yourself." Vince threw his hands up. He'd tried. It wasn't like he could force her to ride with him instead of taking a chance on her car breaking down every day.

"I'll see you later." Gem told him as she walked away. Inside she was shaking. He'd come so close to guessing her secret. This game was starting to have higher stakes than she'd ever guessed it would.

"We're heading out girl." Tamica called to Gem from where she and Elliott were getting ready to leave the bar.

"Ok, see you later." Gem called back with a wave. "I'll call you later, maybe early next week."

"Ok." With a final wave Elliott and Tamica left the bar.

"You did good tonight girl." Barbara said to Gem as both women took a quick breather at the side of the bar.

"Thanks. It felt better this week too."

"So, how's the new living situation working out?"

Gem scrunched her face up as she thought a moment. "Good." She looked at Barbara thoughtfully. "I have a problem though."

"What's that?"

"The girl I live with, Mia, she use to be in UCLA and I guess she was really smart."

"What happened that she's not in college anymore?"

"She had some trouble last summer and had to drop out. But I want her to go back. The only way she could do that would be if she had someone to cover her hours at the café she owns while she was in school. If I covered the café for her while she was in class I couldn't work here until two every night. I'd have to leave at twelve every night but Friday and Saturday. Do you think Barry would let me change my hours like that? It wouldn't need to be until September when the next semester starts."

"Maybe. The weekdays aren't so bad. It's Thursday, Friday and Saturday we really need you here right until close for. You'd have to ask him. What was Mia studying?"

"She was premed but I don't know if she wants to go back to that same thing. I just know she's really smart and she should have some schooling, not just run a dinky little store making sandwiches for the rest of her life."

"Look who's talking." Barbara teased. Gem's steadfast refusal to go to class and try to get a better job than working for Barry had become a sore spot over the last few days between them.

"I can't learn music at College. Well, I guess I can, but not the kind I want to be involved in. I'll be ok. With Tamica and Elliott I think we can do great things."

"What about your guitarist?"

"Him I think we'll have to replace if it goes beyond the Thursdays here. He doesn't seem overly interested in playing for me beyond the recreational times here."

"But he's so good at it."

"Yeah, but it's not what he really does."

"How's it going, living with him I mean?"

"I never see him so fine I guess. Living with Mia is way better than living where I was."

"No kidding. So he doesn't hassle you or anything? You think you're safe there?"

"Safe as money in fort Knox." Gem said with a face like she'd sucked on a lemon. She found herself wishing she wasn't safe from his non-existent advances. She wished she had some advances to be not safe from.

"Girls," Barry cut into their conversation before Barbara could answer, "a few tables are looking around for a waitress."

Point taken, both women headed back out into the crowd.

At the end of the night as Gem walked into the parking lot she was surprised to find Vince's blue car was already gone. This was strange because he'd gotten into the habit of waiting for her to leave first. He said he just wanted to make sure her car started and it was a likely story as he always passed her the first chance he got with a smirk and a little wave. He knew she couldn't catch up or keep up so he always beat her home. He would have retreated to his basement domain long before she ever made it home.

With a shrug she started her car and was glad it turned over on the first try. He must have had something else he had to do. As always the emotion of her Thursday night performance had left Gem physically exhausted and emotionally drained. She only wanted one thing; her bed. She pushed her car as fast as she dared in her quest to get home. She turned her stereo up a bit louder than she normally would have in the hopes the loud sounds would keep her coherent until she reached the house.

Her loud music and her barely awake mindset made her wonder just how long those twirling red and blue lights had been in her rear-view mirror before she noticed when she looked up a few minutes after the last time she'd checked her mirror.

"Isn't this just great." She sighed as she signalled and pulled off the side of the road, shutting her car down but locking all her doors. She'd heard stories about stolen police cars and until she saw a badge and uniform she wasn't so much as rolling down her window. When a flashlight illuminated her cabin and the blue uniform of the man at her window she rolled it down a piece.

"Do you know why I stopped you miss?" The officer asked.

"Well, I'm sure I wasn't speeding officer. This car doesn't go over the speed limit even if I wanted it to, which I didn't." Gem had a bad habit of over explaining things when she was nervous. She tried to curb it as she snapped her mouth shut. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke again. "I guess I'm not totally sure why you stopped me officer."

"You have a tail light out. It was hard to tell you had one out through the haze your car was leaving behind you but you do have a tail light out. When is this car due to be smog checked again miss?"

"In about three months sir." Gem sighed. This was just what she needed. "Do you need to see my licence and registration?"

"Why? Is the car stolen?"

Gem only had her fatigue to blame for what left her mouth next. "If I was going to steal a car it wouldn't be an oil burning, fifteen year old compact." She caught the look the cop gave her. "No sir, it's not stolen."

"Unless you want a ticket I think you should hold onto your paperwork. Miss, if you get caught at any roadside checks you will get a large fine for this car. It's not legal to drive a car this badly out of tune. Get it taken care of."

"Yes officer. I appreciate it."

The cop walked back to his car as Gem sat for a moment, trying to get her heart beat back to a normal pace. She respected law enforcement and was normally totally law abiding. It wasn't that she had any reason to be scared of police officers but they still made her nervous. She looked in her rear view to find the officer still sitting there behind her. She realized he was waiting for her to get back on her way.

She signalled and pulled out carefully and watched gratefully as the cop pulled a u-turn and headed back toward Canoga Park. Gem finished her trip home to Echo Park watching over her shoulder for more cops the whole way.

When she pulled up to the house to find both Mia and Vince's cars at home and every light in the place on she knew she wasn't in for the nice, quiet trip straight to bed she'd been hoping for. Every light in the place on meant Mia and Vince were at it again. After her tiring night and stressful drive home the last thing she needed was to play referee to another one of their fights.

She used her key to unlock the front door with a sigh, her bass clutched to her chest like a shield. It was a protective gesture she wasn't even aware she made. She started for the stairs quietly, intent on simply making it to her own room and putting her head phones on to drown them out.

"Well, if you weren't such a nosey fuckin' bitch than we wouldn't be having this problem."

As the sound of Mia's crying reached her ears Gem started back down the stairs and leaned her case against the wall at the small landing a few stairs up which allowed the stairs to turn the corner to the ground floor. She grimaced tiredly. So much for her retreat to her room. She really didn't want to get involved but she knew she had no choice.

She'd just be up all night feeling guilty about leaving Mia alone after being called such horrible names. She reached the door of the kitchen and paused to take in the scene. There were a few broken dishes scattered around and if Gem could believe her eyes Vince was bleeding out of a cut on his cheek, arguably from where one of the shattered mugs had either hit him before breaking or from shrapnel from the fallout. Mia was standing in front of the sink, gripping the edge so hard her knuckles were white and she was softly crying.

Mia was always softly crying. And Vince was always standing somewhere looking self righteous yelling at her. It was just status quo for their fights.

"And if my brother was here you wouldn't get away with talking to me like that!" Mia screamed back. "Dom would kick your," Mia paused a moment, as though gathering her courage, "fuckin ass for talking to me like that!"

"Yeah, so what?" Vince shouted back with a sneer. "Your fuckin coward brother ain't never comin back or he woulda been here by now. But he's still gone, runnin' away from problems that are all his goddamn fault, so he ain't never gonna be savin' your ass when you run that goddamn mouth anymore!"

Mia's crying intensified as Gem wondered what Mia had brought up to set the volatile Vince off this time. This was bad, even for them. Vince continued.

"Just like he wasn't here when we fuckin' buried Jess. Just like he wasn't fuckin' here when someone had to listen to you cry over that stupid fuckin' blond cop never comin' back. Just like he wasn't here when someone had to start running the damn garage again, had to start payin' the damn bills and mortgage again."

"Yeah, well at least Brian really loved me. He wasn't just trying to get with me because he wanted to look better to my brother."

Vince reeled in shock for a moment before his face turned even more twisted with rage and he looked like he was going to physically go at Mia. Gem knew if she was going to intervene it was now or never.

"Guys! It's too late at night for this kind of thing. Why don't both of you just go to bed and try to settle this rationally tomorrow?" When you're both sober.

"There is no rational with him!" Mia shrieked with her finger aimed squarely at Vince.

Gem was mostly inclined to agree but coming out with that in the middle of their fight wasn't going to help anything.

"Oh here we fuckin' go! The goddamn voice of fuckin' reason herself. If you weren't such a fuckin' ice princess you might realize that sometimes people fight. There isn't a good, rational reason for every fuckin' thing."

Gem took a deep breath and started counting to ten. I'm not going to stoop to his level, I'm not going to stoop to his level. You can deal with the hurt from what he said when you're safely in bed late. He's too drunk to know what he's saying anyway. When she reached ten she looked up again. When her eyes met his and she saw that smug look on his face, the look that meant he was sure he had gotten one over on her she felt something inside her snap. What was it she'd thought she wanted when she had been writing Citadel? To be less calm and collected? To live more like them, with feelings on the surface for all to see? Be careful what you wish for.

"And if you weren't such a jerk there wouldn't be so many fights! Don't you know you can't talk to her like that?" Gem sassed back to Vince, her voice raised above her normal octave for the first time she could remember in a long time. The stress left over from her traffic stop blended with her anger over Vince talking to Mia like she was another one of his rough mechanic friends just set her off. She started across the room to Mia's side.

"Jerk?" Vince muttered to himself, looking at the ground. He looked up at Gem, his eyes snapping fire. "I'm a jerk for working my ass off every day to keep her brother's stupid garage alive and makin money just to hear this shit at home every night?"

"Dominic was like your brother too and you know it!" Mia screamed back. When she realized she'd said was, like her brother was dead and gone it was like it finally clicked in her mind that Dominic likely wasn't ever coming home again, just like Jesse and her parents weren't ever coming back either. Her sobbing took on an almost hysterical tone.

"Now look what you did you big stupid," Gem paused, trying to think up the right word to express how mad she was with Vince, "bastard!" The curse word felt almost cathartic to say. "She knows her brother isn't likely ever coming home again! Do you have to throw it in her damn face all the time? She's already lost everyone else she ever held dear but you from her life and you throw it in her face every chance you get. Just because you aren't happy doesn't give you the right to take it out on the rest of the world!"

Vince looked at Gem in shock for a moment before he could think of something to say back to her. In his experience the meaner he got the nicer Gem got. He didn't know if he'd ever heard her swear before. "What do you know about it anyway? You have your whole family just waiting on you back home. You can turn tail and run home to them any time you want! This is real life to us and to you it's just a game to play while you try to make it as a singer. Good fuckin' luck."

"I know I watched my grandfather attempt to drink himself to death as a child and I know I watched my father give up his dreams so that he could have enough money to raise his three kids in the way he thought we should be raised. At least my grandfather eventually got the courage to admit he had a problem and got himself some help so he could stop taking his issues out on everyone but himself. He didn't live the rest of his life in a drunken stupor."

"I don't have a problem!"

"Sure you don't." Gem sneered back at Vince and took Mia's hands off the edge of the sink, rubbing them both between her own to try and bring some warmth back into them. She could feel Mia shaking down the length of her arms. "At least Mia's trying to get on with her life. She's going back to school and getting back to reality." Mia looked up in shock. Going back to school was something she and Gem had talked about but Mia was fairly sure she'd told Gem it wasn't feasible at this point of her life. "Meanwhile you're content to live in some sort of drunken dreamland where you're some sort of martyr because you get up and go to work every day even though you spent all night getting loaded in some club."

"Like it's any of your fuckin' business." Vince roared.

"You made it my business when you basically hired me to live here to take care of things because you couldn't be arsed to bother." Gem roared back. "I don't know why you still live here anyway. You clearly don't care about anything that goes on here and don't really want to know anything about it either."

"Well maybe I'll just fuckin' move out then!"

"Maybe you should!" Mia roared back.

Gem looked from one to the other in shock. She knew they fought a lot but they were still really all the other had.

"I'll leave you here all alone with the future American Idol herself who can only play the stupid bar she works at and certainly isn't getting discovered for her first album there. I'm sure the two of you will be very happy together, each of you growing old alone with your broken dreams for company." Vince turned to leave the room, to head to the basement stairs.

Mia gasped in the shock of Vince's parting barb but Gem didn't stop there. She picked up a mug off the draining board and heaved it at the back of Vince's retreating head. Thankfully she'd never had great aim and she missed; the mug shattering off the door frame beside Vince's head instead of shattering on the back of his skull. Mia looked at Gem in shock, a panicked look on her face as she worried about what Vince would do now.

Gem had some concerns on that front herself. What had gotten into her? She never acted this way, all wild and out of control. Her life was based on being calm in the face of anger. When patrons got mad at the restaurant she couldn't get mad back. She couldn't throw their dishes at them. She had to respond in a rational, calm manner. So why was she now reacting with unbridled passion? The bigger question was what was volatile Vince going to do about it.

Vince turned slowly back to face the two women he'd left behind him a moment earlier, trembling with rage barely in check. Which one had thrown the cup at his head? Up until two minutes ago it wouldn't have been a question, it would have been Mia. But now he wasn't so sure. When he turned around to find Mia looking at Gem in panic and Gem looking at him with her chest heaving with her laboured breathing, a mix of fear and vindication in her eyes he knew he'd found the culprit. He felt his shoulders sag as he realized he was the bastard in the situation after throwing both of their most treasured dreams in their faces.

"Mia, go to bed." Vince said, trying to sound calm and gentle so she'd listen.

"I'm not leaving her alone with you."

"It'll be ok Mia, go to bed." He tried again.

"Will you be ok?" Mia asked Gem softly. It was her turn to look concerned for her friend and Vince realized whatever his reason for asking Gem to move in with them she and Mia had become friends. It wouldn't be him Mia looked to for support or comfort anymore and he had only himself to blame.

"I'll be fine because I'll be right behind you. I'm tired, I'm stressed and I'm not in the mood."

"Ok."

He watched as Mia hugged Gem and the taller woman hugged Mia back. Gem watched Mia leave until she was out of sight up the stairs before she turned back to him. "What?"

Vince sat at the table and hung his head. "Sit."

"I don't have to take your orders. Much as you might think I'm like your employee I'm not." Gem's chin went up and her eyes were still snapping blue fire his way.

"Would you please take a seat?"

She crossed to the table and sat with a mutinous look on her face, taking the chair farthest away from him for her own as she sat with a thump. "What?"

"I had no right to say what I said to you."

"And? You going to tell me something I don't know?"

She isn't going to make this easy, Vince thought as he sighed. "And I'm glad you're here for Mia and I'm sorry we fight so much and that you had to get involved."

"You are such a selfish bastard."

Vince looked up at Gem in shock when her vehement statement left her mouth and lingered around his head. He was trying to make things better and she was still calling him names?

"What?" He asked, his voice starting to rise again.

"After all the horrible things you said to me, and god only knows what to Mia before I ever got home to hear it your response is that you had no right to say what you did and you're sorry I had to hear the fight? How about sorry for your part of bringing it on and trying not to do it anymore? But that'd be too much to ask because you might have to grow up and act like an adult at least some of the time. You must know you have something to be sorry for because here we are but you're still not ready or willing to own up to your responsibility in the whole situation. Even your apology has this sort of forced air to it, like you really don't want to make it, really aren't sorry at all, but you know you have to say something because it's expected of you."

Vince opened his mouth to reply to her but she carried on before he could get a chance.

"You know, I'm sorry that I'm too controlled for your liking but at least I don't go around the world breaking the hearts of everyone who loves me and thinking I have the right to take out my bad moods on everyone else around me instead of looking inside me for the causes and solutions. You know, the one thing I ever did that hurt my family was take off on them and come to L.A. to follow my dream instead of following their dream for me and even then I accepted the blame for how that made them feel onto my own shoulders because it was something I felt I had to do for me. I hurt their feelings by leaving home but it was something I had to do for me. I really don't appreciate you throwing something I felt so strongly over that I broke my mother's heart for it in my face. Now I think I'll go to bed because I had a long night and I'm about to totally lose my patience. I suggest you do the same thing because you clearly need to go sleep it off."

Vince watched as Gem stood up so forcefully her chair fell backwards and hit the floor with a crash. She didn't even stop to right it, just walked past it. He heard the stairs creak under her progress a few seconds later. So the ice princess was back in words but the spitting virago who'd thrown a cup at his head was still firmly entrenched on the inside. You really made a mess this time.

When Gem got upstairs she checked on Mia and was glad to find her friend fast asleep, her form totally buried under her blankets. She headed to her own room, intent on crashing into bed and sleeping until his words didn't hurt anymore. After half an hour tossing and turning she was sure she wasn't getting to sleep any time soon. She got out of bed with a weary sigh and headed for the room Mia had dubbed her 'music room'. She kept her guitars in the room and there was a desk for her to sit at when she wanted to write.

She sat at her desk and picked up her poor acoustic guitar. "And I find that I can't take the city below the citadel holding my own." She sang as she clumsily played the chords to accompany the words even as the carefully arranged notes began to blur together on the lined paper.

As the tears ran down her cheeks she realized she couldn't remember the last time anything had made her cry. She'd come close a few times lately, like the time Mia had been telling her a story. She'd been driving down the street and she'd passed another car and the guy driving it had looked like the cop named Brian she'd fallen so hard for and she'd thought it was him so surely she'd pulled a u-turn and followed the other car until it had stopped and the driver had gotten out but it hadn't been Brian at all. So Mia had spent the next hour sitting in her car on the side of the road crying.

"I tried so hard to forget he was alive!" Mia had sobbed as she recounted the story, "But then I thought he was right there and everything came right back to me but it wasn't him at all. I thought I'd get a chance to tell him all the things I never got to. How I didn't blame him for what happened, not really, and how grateful I was for what he did. Both for Dominic and for Vince. And when that stranger went by and I realized I still wasn't going to get to tell him I just broke down."

What did you get yourself into Gem? She asked herself as she sat, playing idle chords on her guitar as she slumped over it crying. She'd almost beaned a man off his head with an earthenware mug! That wasn't her.

With a sniffle she leaned over her instrument to her desk and picked up her pen.

About an hour after the girls had made their retreats up the stairs Vince was still awake pacing in his rooms. Damn her for making me think about this shit anyway, he grumbled in his head as he thought about all the uncomfortable things Gem had made him think about. It was hard to pretend it was ok you acted like an asshole sometimes but made up for it with how hard you worked when someone threw all the asshole things you did in your face and told you point blank you weren't making up for anything. Made you feel like what you did wasn't nearly enough.

How dare she anyway? What did she know about it? Mother and father still together and running their place a few hours out of town. Two brothers studying for real jobs, the kind of jobs that had some respect in the community. What did she know about growing up in a single parent home and watching your best friend lose everything he ever held dear? How dare she call him down? He did a lot for Mia, more than a lot of guys likely would have after how bad her cowardly brother screwed him after all their years as friends.

If Gem hadn't butted in Mia would have cried herself to sleep but she would have gotten over it and he would have made himself feel better by reminding himself that he was running her brother's garage and keeping her in her brother's house and doing it all even though he really didn't want to, wanted nothing more than to take off and start over someplace else.

With another muttered curse to join the string of them he'd been letting loose since he'd taken refuge in the basement he made up his mind. She wasn't going to get away with talking to him like he was some worthless jerk-off. He was going to go give her a piece of his mind. So what if he'd have to wake her up. He couldn't get any sleep, why should she? It was her fault he was feeling too shitty to sleep.

He stomped up the basement stairs in a huff. The wrecked state of the kitchen gave him pause. He took in the broken crockery and dented area of the kitchen wall. Then he noticed the droplets of blood on the floor where he'd been standing and reached up to touch his cheek. He felt the crusty blood on his cheekbone. Forgot she grazed me. Next he spotted the scratched section of the door moulding where Gem's missile had hit home.

"She tried to hit me with a fuckin' coffee mug." He muttered to himself as he took in the carnage in Mia's kitchen. He noticed the over turned chair. "She called me a selfish bastard."

He stalked through the dining room and living room to the bottom of the stairs. He started up the stairs determinedly, figuring he'd check in on Mia and then give Gem a piece of his mind. He walked up to Mia's door and pushed it open softly. She was nothing but a small pile of blankets in the center of her bed. She wasn't making any noise so he closed the door over again, careful not to make a sound. If she was quiet she was sleeping. When she woke up she'd see things differently and she'd get over it. She always did.

Next he moved to the door of the room he still considered Dominic's. He could feel adrenaline start to course through him in preparation for the fight he felt coming on with Gem. He pushed the door open forcefully and let it bounce off the wall behind it with a crash. Shit, I'll wake Mia. He took a step into the room and looked around, wondering why Gem wasn't screaming at him for busting into her room yet. That was about when he realized the bed was mussed but unoccupied. Gem was not in her room. He backed out of the room and started back down the hall, most of his anger leaving him when he started to think she might be out in the middle of the night all alone, hurting over what he'd said to her in a car that might break down at any time with no one knowing where she was.

On his way past what even he now thought of as the music room he realized there was soft light coming out from under the door. He pushed it open a crack and peeked in. What he saw solidified the fact in his mind that at least tonight he had been every last thing Gem accused him of being. He'd been a total bastard jerk.

She was sitting in the chair they'd put in front of her desk, her crappy guitar cradled in her arms as she was curled up around it, crying softly yet brokenly into her hands, her hair forming a shield all around her bent shoulders as the lone lamp sent a soft light floating around her, picking up the red highlights in her dark blond hair. He could see her notebook was open on the table in front of her, a pen lying across the page discarded.

I did this.

He walked into the room silently and stood behind her chair, not sure what to do. He was use to Mia crying. Mia cried when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was angry, when she was afraid. It was like Mia cried over everything. Gem never cried. If she'd ever cried before he'd never found out or heard her. Knowing that made it even worse for him to know he was the reason behind her crying now.

He reached out and gathered her hair back out of her face softly. She jumped in her chair and looked up at him over her shoulder, anger replacing sadness in her eyes in a split second.

"What the hell are you-"

"Shush, let me explain. I'm sorry."

"You said that already."

"I know, but you were right. I didn't really mean it then. I do now. I had some time to think about what you said and you were right. I do take my moods out on you guys and the rest of the world." He leaned over and took the guitar out of her arms. "I should take that thing and burn it. It has no business being used as a musical instrument." He watched as Gem's arms wrapped around herself when they were deprived of her guitar. She was always clutching an instrument to her chest, like she was trying to hide behind them.

When the revelation became obvious he wanted to slap his forehead with his palm. You are such a moron! Music was like her shield, her security blanket, something for her to hide behind and take refuge with and he'd thrown it right into her face.

He sighed. This wasn't going according to plan at all.

Like you ever had a plan.

He pulled her chair back farther from the desk and crossed around to the front of her, kneeling at her feet. "I'm sorry for what I said. I had no call and I'm glad that Mia is going back to school."

Even knowing first hand that apologizing wasn't something Vince did much of Gem wasn't ready to let him off the hook. She was still upset and incredibly hurt that he'd thrown her music at her like he had, tried to imply she was wasting her time and wouldn't ever be good enough to make it. Her gaze remained firmly fixed on her own knees as she refused to see him kneeling at her feet. She knew what seeing such a proud man humbled on his knees over her would do to her anger and she wasn't ready to let it go yet.

Vince was floundering in the unfamiliar situation. He never apologised to Mia, he just went to bed when she went to bed and by the next morning neither of them wanted to talk about what had happened any more. That was how he liked it and he assumed Mia felt the same way. He'd said he was sorry two more times, what more did she want? Blood? He'd given it already; it was splattered all over the kitchen floor. How could he make her see why he was the way he was? As he watched another tear hit her knees, rolling off her cheek he knew he had to find some way. Otherwise she was going to leave and Mia would kill him. Truth told he'd kill himself. If it wasn't for Gem he wouldn't even be feeling what he was now. Feeling anger and upset was still feeling something and that was beyond what he had been doing up until three weeks ago. He took both her hands into his with uncertainty, not sure how she'd react. Her hands were so small compared to his own that he felt even worse. The old adage to pick on someone your own size sure hadn't been playing a big role in his life lately. She looked at him, her eyes wide and hurt, rimmed in a red that made their aquamarine colour jump out startlingly.

Her hands were freezing. "I mean it. I really am sorry, ok. It's just that this isn't where I saw myself at twenty five. This isn't how my life was supposed to end up and sometimes thinking about how it all ended up gets me down."

Gem sniffled before she spoke. "I'm sorry for saying this but you have no one to blame but yourself if you're not happy with how your life turned out. If you don't like it than you're the only one who has the power to change it."

She didn't take her hands back, one good sign he was sure. Her words rang true, but everything wasn't as cut and dry as she thought. Everything hadn't happened over a few bad choices on his part. "Listen, there's a lot to this story you don't know." And suddenly he had a desire to fill her in. "Can we take that drive I promised you?"

"Now? It's three thirty in the morning."

"I know but I'm not going to sleep any time soon and I'd really like to talk about some of this with someone. If you weren't headed to turn in right away." Vince looked away, giving her the chance to decline, to tell him with her refusal he wasn't worth hearing out. It was no less than he deserved.

"Just let me go change." Gem said with a sigh as she started to stand up. She wasn't going to bed any time soon herself and she knew she honestly would like some insight into what made Vince into what he was.

"No need. No one's going to see us. I'm not changing."

"You're going outside in your shorts?" Gem blushed a faint pink at the thought of leaving the house in her underwear like Vince was planning.

"Why not? It's only gonna be you'n my car to see me. Like you said, it's three thirty. No one's out and about at this hour. Come on, haven't you ever done anything spontaneous before?"

"I moved into the house of two virtual strangers one day." Gem quipped back.

"That doesn't count. You already knew me'n Mia as well as you needed to at the time. You knew we weren't serial killers. Come on, live a little. Besides, if I think about this too much I'll end up not wanting to go anywhere. I'm not the talkin' type."

"Isn't that the truth." Gem answered with a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she watched Vince be playful with her. Mood swings like a pregnant woman. "I'll go on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Either we play my CD or we play the satellite radio service. I can't take any more of the metal stuff that you play in your car."

"Ok, deal. You are officially the DJ for tonight and tonight only just because it's your ride after all. Come on." Using her hands which he still had a hold of he tugged her out of her chair and keeping hold of one of her hands led her down the stairs and out the door. He even opened the car door for her and helped her in. He crossed to the driver's side door and slid into the car.

After starting it and backing down the driveway he tore off down the street. "I told you I'd show you what she was really capable of and the early morning is the only good time for that anyway."

Gem held onto the door handle as though it was her sanity. The car was hurling through the night like a rocket ship, the lights along the road blurring together and making her feel like she was suffering from tunnel vision. She momentarily thought she was going to be sick. "I think I was wrong when I said I thought I'd like this."

"Just relax. I know what I'm doing and you're not gonna get hurt. I wouldn't take stupid risks with my car, at least not with you in here."

Gem tried to calm down. She sat back and let go of the door handle, closing her eyes. "Can we open the sunroof?" There wasn't a reply but a few seconds later the cool night air was blowing around the cabin of the car, running gentle fingers through her loose hair. Her Toni Braxton CD was playing softly in the background. She let her mind go and it felt like she was flying. She opened her eyes and watched the stars through the opening in the roof. It was like no matter how fast they were going on earth the stars remained constant in the sky.

"You doin ok?"

"Mmmm." She murmured back. Once she grew accustomed to the speed the hum of the tires against the tarmac and the thrum of the loaded engine actually became relaxing as she reclined in the seat, the melodic sounds of 'Spanish Guitar' drifting around them as the air flowing in turned slightly tangy. "Where are we?" She asked, her voice a sleepy whisper.

"Almost where we're going."

"Which is?"

"You'll see."

With a shrug Gem closed her eyes again. Some part of her was mad at the rest of her for letting Vince off so easy. It was just that he was so hard to deny when he smiled at her with that look on his face, with those eyes, that shaggy haircut, that scruffy beard, all while wearing his boxer shorts and a white undershirt. He was the type of guy she never knew she liked but once she'd been introduced she realized what she'd been missing out on. Too bad he was so totally messed up mentally, she thought dejectedly.

"Ok, we're here." The car lurched slightly as he tossed it in first and pulled up on the parking brake.

"We're where?" Gem asked as she tried to wake up enough to keep up with where they were and why.

"This little spot Mia thinks she has a monopoly on but we all really know about." Vince opened his door and started around to hers. She sat up and looked around. They were at a little deserted beach. Vince opened her door and helped her out of the car. She went with him almost reluctantly.

"You said no one was going to see us."

"On an out of the way beach at this hour of Friday morning I still think that's a fair assessment." Vince opened the trunk and pulled a blanket out. He started down onto the beach proper and spread the blanket before sitting on it. "Come on. I swear I won't bite, or act like a jackass any more tonight." As he watched Gem cross to his blanket, dragging her flip flop clad feet through the sand he fought another wave of guilt over making her scared of him. She sat on the other side of the blanket and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her knees on them as she looked out over the water.

"So what did you want to tell me?"

"Things." Vince coughed nervously. Could he do this? He was giving her the ability to sell him up the river. After such a short time knowing her could he really trust her with his life? She already trusted you with hers when she moved into your house and let you tear off with her in the car, a voice answered back. "Ok, here goes.

"Around August of last year the biggest racing meet of the year was going on. We call it race wars and people come from hundreds of miles away to compete there in the desert every year. We always went, Dom always cleaned up and the rest of us always showed well."

"You mean like drag racing?"

"Sorta. Like import racing, like street racing, but not on the streets. There were big cash prizes, all the good parts companies sent representation, it was how we drummed up a lot of business for the shop. But the thing was the shop wasn't doing so great last year."

"So you hoped to change that with this race wars thing?"

"No, we found another way to make money long before race wars ever started. We got involved with a small branch of organized crime, stealing transfer trucks full of electronic merchandize."

"Come again?" Gem turned her head to look at Vince.

"Yeah. We started hijacking the trucks as they were moving the goods from the depot to whatever store they were destined for. DVD players, TV's, computers, the whole bit. We had a contact that told Dom which trucks to go after and we had three cars all set up for the jobs. We'd hunt the truck down, surround him and then I'd repel into the cab after I smashed the window out.

"The first five or six went textbook. We were finally making the money we needed to build all the cars the way we wanted them. We were good, no one could catch us. We were foolproof. Or so we thought.

"Then this Brian Spilner guy started hanging around Mia. I always knew he was bad news but Dom liked the guy and what Dom said went as far as that went. If Dom wanted the guy around than I had no say over whether he'd be around or not. I told Dom the fucker was a cop like a hundred times but he never listened to me."

Gem gave up on her scrunched up position and lay back on the blanket, staring up at the stars. This wasn't going to be over any time soon. Not a tale of this much time and history.

"Brian was a cop, I know that much already. Poor Mia, falling in love with a man who wasn't even real."

"Poor Mia! How about poor the rest of us?" Vince growled.

"Poor the rest of you were working for the mafia or mob or whatever else they call themselves these days. Mia didn't ask for Brian to use her to get close to her brother like he did. She didn't ask for any of it. But she still ended up falling for Brian Spilner when he wasn't even real, and getting her heart broken over something that really didn't involve her. She was just a pawn between Brian and his goal of getting close to Dominic."

"Mia knew where the money was coming from."

"Maybe so but knowing about something and being party to it are two different things. From what I've been told about this Dominic guy he wouldn't have stopped what he was doing just because his little sister didn't like it. What was she supposed to do? Move away from everyone she knew and loved in protest?"

"Ok already. Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not?"

"I'm just here for the ride remember? I'll listen if you want to tell me but I'm not forcing you to do anything." She wasn't going to have him say she gave him no choice and he'd told her everything against his will.

"Ok, so Brian tricked Dom into letting him get closer to us all." Vince stopped. There was no sense telling ancient history with a spin on it to make him look better. It was over, it was done with, and there wasn't any point in lying about it now. At least, not to her. "Ok, in all honesty Dom liked Brian and Brian liked Dominic. Brian ended up taking Dom's side for some fuckin' reason and let him go. But there's a whole lot that happened in between." Vince launched into his story, starting with the night Brian brought Dom home from races and finishing on the night of race wars.

"This is where the story gets pretty nasty. You sure you wanna hear it all?"

She wasn't sure she wanted to hear anything else to make her feel any sorrier for Vince and the rest of his 'team'. Her ability to hang onto her anger with him was rapidly disappearing. But perhaps he needed to tell someone. Mia was there so he couldn't tell her. She was still dealing with her own issues over the whole thing. "I'm sure." Gem shifted on the blanket, rolling onto her side and cupping her cheek in her hand, wiggling her hip until it carved out a hollow place in the sand under her.

"We had a job that night. Jesse was still missing from his race against Tran. Dom wanted to go and do the job anyway. It was a big money load and he'd been watching it and waiting for it for three months. Not even the fact we couldn't find Jesse wasn't going to stop him from chasing after that stupid truck." Vince caught the little secret smile on Gem's face. "What are you smiling about?"

"Mia told me about Jesse. I wish I'd gotten to meet him. Anyone who prays to God over what they're really thankful without worrying about how it sounds or what other people think has a genuine spirit. When we say grace at supper we always add a line about car parts now. It makes Mia smile every time."

"You do?" Vince looked down where Gem was laying from his seated position.

"Yeah, granted Mia's are better because she knows something about cars. Mine always end up like 'I'm thankful for tires that aren't bald' but that's ok because it just makes Mia laugh."

"I think he'd like that." Vince admitted in a low tone, thinking about 'The Mad Scientist' for the first time in months-at least while sober-almost had him choked up. "But anyway, at the time we were leaving race wars to go and pull off the heist Jess was still missing. Mia didn't want us to go. She begged Dominic not to but Dom wasn't hearing it. We went anyway and when we got to the cars Leon and even Letty told him they didn't feel right.

"None of us thought we should be going one man short, no one thought we should be pulling a job without Jesse but Dom wouldn't hear of it because he wanted the money. I didn't want to do it either but like always Dom's word was law. I didn't say a thing to him, just got into our Civic and got ready. Just follow the leader, that was me. Dom said do it so I didn't stop to question it, I just did it.

"I got out on the roof like I always did and jumped onto the truck. Dom had been trying to tell me the trucker had a shotgun but I couldn't hear him once I was out of the car. I jumped on the front of the truck and the guy driving started taking shots at me with a twelve gauge.

"They all tried to get me off the truck. I think Letty had an accident. I was pretty out of it but I'm pretty sure I saw her car go flying off the road after the trucker took shots at her. When I got tossed around from the front to the side my arm got all caught up in the wire so I couldn't get myself unhooked from the truck.

"What did you do?"

"Waited for Dom to figure it out. Dom always figured shit out, it was his job. He was the leader. I never wanted to be the boss, I was always happy to let Dom do it. He did it better anyway. So I just waited for Dom to get me off the truck. The trucker wasn't happy to just wait it out, he kept taking shots at me through the door. He finally clipped me in the side and that's where things get really blurry. Mia told me later that Dom's car got shot up pretty bad and he felt back. Leon picked him up after he'd gone back for Letty.

"How does Mia fit into this whole scene if she wasn't there, if she stayed with the trailer?"

"I'm getting there. Brian came clean to Mia at the camp site. He thought if he could find Dom before Dom started the job he could get him to stop. He really didn't have enough evidence to convict anyone at that point and if we hadn't done the last job the whole thing would have just basically gone away. He told Mia he was a cop and got her to go with him. They tried to figure out where we'd be and eventually traced Dominic's cell phone to get a lock on us. When they found us Dom was dead in the water on the side of the road waiting for Leon to catch up with Letty.

"Brian jumped out of the targa top of the Supra and basically threw me off the side of the truck into the car. He almost took one to the head from the trucker himself before he jumped back onto the car. The trucker clipped Mia and she spun out off the road. I guess I was pretty close to dying right around then so I don't remember that much of this." He spoke with a detatched calm, as though he was describing a scene from a movie he'd seen to her and not something that had happened to him. Of course, he'd mostly 'seen' things through Mia's eyes after he'd regained consciousness and been taken off the painkillers. "They dragged me out into a clearing and tried to get the bleeding stopped but it wasn't working. Mia told me after I woke up in the hospital that Brian said I had about ten minutes to live if I didn't get help.

"So he called one of those helicopter ambulance things-"

"Lifeflight chopper." Gem supplied.

"Yeah, one of those. But to do it he had to give away his cover right in front of Dom. And since Mia was right there with Brian Dom figured she'd known for a while at least that he was a cop. Dom made Mia leave with him and Brian took the Supra. He found them at home. Dom was getting ready to go find Jesse-and it was about time-and he'd already sent Leon and Letty on the run. All our cars were still at race wars so they took the working Civic. Brian got back and blocked him in just as Jesse came back.

"The Trans gunned him down right there on the sidewalk out front of the house over that stupid Jetta. I mean, it wasn't really about the Jetta, it was about Dom's bad blood with Johnny but they still killed Jesse right there. I guess he died in Mia's arms while Brian took off after Tran and Dom took after Brian. Brian killed Johnny and Dom ran Lance off the road. Lance is in a wheel chair now so he'll never be gunning anyone else down on a motorcycle at any rate.

"After that I don't know what happened. I know Brian gave Dom his keys because I heard it through the grapevine but I never heard from Dom or Brian again. Leon and Letty are the same story but I bet they're with Dom where ever they are. The cops came sniffing around and they seemed almost more interested in tracking down Brian than in finding any of the team or making trouble for me. I guess they knew they didn't have enough evidence to convict me, and catching rogue cops must have some sorta fuckin' significance to them.

"But when all's said and done Jesse's dead and here I am. I was in the hospital for two months after. They saved my arm but I'll have this scar forever, plus the one on my hip. That wasn't the worst of it though. The worst was being stuck in there when everything else was falling apart. I couldn't leave. I was hooked to all these things and then I needed all this stupid therapy so I'd still be able to use my arm.

"Mia had to bury Jesse alone. She was a wreck but there was nothing I could do. I guess it just all snowballed from there. I realized everyone was gone and I was," Vince stopped and stared out over the water. "Well, I wasn't going to be much good to anyone."

"But you're fine now."

Vince looked down at her, one eyebrow raised in question.

"Ok, maybe not fine, but I wouldn't say you're no good to anyone. Mia told me about your little friend Cory, how you gave him a job when no one else would because of the trouble he got into. If Mia didn't have you she would have been all alone. Can you honestly say she would have been better off?"

"But when Jesse was dying and everyone else was running away I was lying in the hospital drugged beyond consciousness. When Mia was all alone for those two months after her brother and our friends took off I couldn't do a thing about it. Then when I did get out I realized that instead of being that guy who was around to follow orders and get shit done I was the guy who had to decide what had to be done too. So during the day I stepped up to it but at night I guess I've basically running away from the responsibility with the booze. I can't tell you it's gonna change either. This really isn't how I saw myself when I thought about where I'd be."

"You think waiting tables in some dinky bar is how I saw my career when I ran away to L.A.? Sometimes things don't go according to plan. It doesn't give you the right to just fuck off for the rest of your life."

Vince's head snapped around in shock. "You just said fuck."

"So?" Gem was glad the night hid the pink she was sure was staining her cheeks.

"You never said a word worse than bastard in front of me before and you looked like someone would be along to wash your mouth out over that."

"The situation seemed to call for the f word, ok?"

"Yeah, not like I got virgin ears. Just shocked me is all."

Gem flopped back onto her back again and wondered what time it was. She was the next thing to cold and the sky almost looked like it was getting light over on the horizon. "You know what?"

"What?"

"In a lot of ways I still envy you. You've done so much, tried so many things and I've never done a thing more exciting than have a fight with you in the kitchen."

"If that was the most exciting thing that ever happened in your life than some people haven't been doing certain things right." Vince said with a leer her way, and cracked himself up. It was just such a, well, coyote thing to say he almost didn't know where it'd come from. It hadn't entered his head to brazenly flirt with a girl like that in a long time.

Gem took a second to get it and then giggled, embarrassed when she got it. "Still, you just go do what you want and I think about everything and worry what people will think and analyze all the possible outcomes before I do pretty much anything. I wish just once I could just do what I want without any thought about it first. Just be totally spontaneous."

"So you think I just do what I want when I want to?"

"Um."

"Ok then." Vince leaned over Gem, his face moving closer and closer to hers. A split second before their lips would have been together he snatched Gem and the blanket up and tossed them over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" Gem called in shock.

"I don't want to. Besides it's time we got back. If we're gone when Mia wakes up she's gonna flip out and worry about where we are. I gotta get you back to your bed before she finds you missing. Me she wouldn't care about." Vince tossed Gem lightly into her seat and walked around the front of the car.

"I think you sell yourself short when you act like Mia doesn't care about you. It's because she cares so much she nags so much. She hates to see you like you are. She showed me pictures of everyone before and I think she's right to worry. There's like half the you there use to be."

"You sayin' you think I'd look better if I was bigger again?"

"Um, no." Gem stammered, giving away the fact that the answer was yes. "It's just that most people don't let themselves change so drastically without their families having good reason to worry."

"Sure." Vince smirked.

"Ok, sue me. I think you were almost nice looking when you were all buff but now, not so much." Gem smirked herself, confident she'd gotten one over on the smug Vince. He took one hand off the wheel and placed it over his heart.

"Oh, how cruel. Just remember I know where you live."

"That goes double for you pal."

They drove in silence for most of the rest of the way home. When they were back in their neighbourhood Vince looked at Gem out of the corner of his eye. "You know I left out a part of that story I told you."

"Yeah, what part?"

"The part where somehow all of the evidence against us disappeared along with Brian. I mean all of it. If you tell anyone what I told you I could literally end up in prison, and since I have priors it won't be a minimum security vacation either."

"You can't honestly think I'd turn you in."

"Didn't Mia tell me your brother is in law school?"

"Yeah, but I'm not Doug."

"You sounded like you two were pretty close all those times you talked about him."

"We are. I still don't tell him everything. If you had a little sister would you want to know all about her life?"

"No."

"There you go. Besides, Doug wants to be a lawyer, I want to live the rock'n roll dream. They're pretty different."

They pulled into the driveway and Vince cut the engine. They just sat together in the front seat a minute, each with things to say to the other but neither sure how. With a glance at each other they got out and headed up the front walk.

"If the neighbours see us creeping home in our underwear at this hour they're definitely going to wonder what was going on."

"Not our neighbours. They've seen worse. Much worse." Vince answered as he unlocked the front door. They stopped inside and Gem kicked off her sandals. "Guess this is your stop." Vince said as she climbed up the first stair. At the sound of his voice she turned back to look at him.

She reached out and ran a finger tip over the cut on his cheek, the expression in her eyes something he wasn't sure he wanted to understand. "Get some sleep."

He turned his face into her touch. How long had it been since someone had touched him because they wanted to, not because they had to change his bandage or because it seemed like the thing to do? Telling her all those things he'd been keeping inside, even if there'd been more he'd wanted to say but couldn't find the courage to admit them to anyone else had lifted a weight off his shoulders.

Some of the guilt he'd felt about not being there for Mia and Jesse because he'd gotten hurt was lifted. Rationally he knew it wasn't his fault he got hurt like he did. It was, in that he never should have put himself in that situation, but it wasn't like he could have known it was coming either. That still didn't make him worthy of a woman like her.

"Thanks. See you in the morning." He stepped back out of her touch. It was the last thing he wanted to do but she deserved so much better than him, so much more than he could offer her. She was a shining star with a bright future ahead of her and his star had already gone super nova.

With a look he would swear cut right through him to all the secrets he thought he kept to himself she headed up the stairs.

Vince over slept. He woke up and squinted blearily at the glowing numbers of his clock. He spent the next few minutes trying to make sense of the fact they told him it was ten am. He knew that wasn't possible. He got up at eight thirty every day. It was just how things were. Routines were his salvation. They were the only thing that kept him going day after day.

He got out of bed with a groan and pulled on some clothes as he cursed about being late for work. Not that anyone would say anything to him but he generally would have called Cory and let him know he would be opening up on his own. As he started up the stairs he realized there was loud music blasting from somewhere on the main floor of the house. He wasn't sure but he thought he heard laughter as well.

When he crested the top of the stairs it was to find Gem sweeping the floor and Mia trying to scrub the little droplets of blood off another section of it. At least Mia was scrubbing. Gem he figured had been sweeping up the glass at one point. She was, at the point he found her however, dancing with the broom to the tune of 'You Bring Me Joy' by Mary J. Blige. She switched from dancing with the broom to using it as a pretend microphone.

With her hair in pigtails and Care Bears on her tank top she looked about twelve years old, at least in spirit. He watched as Mia looked up at her friend and started to giggle.

"I don't know if I could live, live without you! You bring me joy."

She went back to dancing with the broom in exaggerated motions and he continued to hide in the shadows just below the top of the stairs watching her, unable to keep the smile off his face. The upbeat rhythm of the song was catchy. Mia finished with her scrubbing and as she went to walk by Gem on her way to the sink the blond girl tossed the broom aside and grabbed Mia, twirling her around before dipping her. When she let Mia stand back up both of them laughed together.

"You think the place is back to normal yet?" Gem asked Mia, looking around.

"Back to normal enough, what ever that is. I don't think I even know. And of course it's shy a few coffee cups." Mia grinned, thinking of the mug winging its way toward the back of Vince's head.

"Shut up!" Gem blushed. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Vince waited for her to express remorse for what could have happened to him if her missile had connected with his head.

"That was a nice cup." Gem finished.

"Yeah, it was. Almost a shame it missed. I mean, now its death was in vain."

"No it wasn't. Trust me, point taken." Vince broke into the conversation from his shadowed hiding place. He walked into the sunny kitchen. Mia rushed to his side.

"I cut you. I didn't mean to."

"It's ok, just a scratch. I had it coming."

Mia's face took on a look of surprise. She looked at Gem. "Did he just admit he was wrong, even if it was in some round about way?"

"I think he did." Gem smiled. Vince smiled back. He tried not to, but in the end he couldn't help himself. Mia looked from one to the other speculatively.

"You two made up fast."

"We talked for a bit after you went to bed and reached something of an understanding." Gem admitted with a quick glance at Vince.

"Really?" Mia drew the word out, making almost more of a statement than a question.

"Don't you have a store to open?" Vince asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Sure, but I could say the same thing to you."

"I have a staff to open for me when I can't show up."

"Turns out Mia has anal glaucoma." Gem said, her face carefully schooled into a mask of seriousness.

"Come again?" Vince asked.

"She just can't see her ass making it to work today." Gem lost it, giggling uncontrollably.

"You're both crazy today." Vince said with a shake of his head, but he was smiling while he said it.

"Gem called in sick too and when we get this cleaned up we're going to the beach."

"What beach?"

"Likely the one down by Neptune's Net. Can you believe Gem's never been?"

"Really. Can't remember the last time I ate there myself." Vince looked off toward the back door. With a sigh he started toward the exit. "I guess I should really go check on Cory and Bill."

"Tell Cory I said hi." Gem chirped happily, an evil grin on her face. She clearly knew he was hinting around for an invite and didn't plan on offering.

Just when he thought he was going to have to come right out and ask if they minded if he came along Mia took pity on him. "You can come too if you really want to."

"I guess, if you want me to." He tried to sound like it didn't matter to him either way. Both girls saw through the act.

"We're leaving in half an hour so if you're coming than you better hurry and get ready."

"Yes ma'am." Vince said with a mock salute Gem's way as he headed back down to the basement.

"I guess we need to get ready too now." Gem said to Mia as she stooped to sweep up her pile of shattered pottery.

"We should. If we take longer than him it's only going to leave us listening to a rant about how women take forever to get ready for anything."

They headed up the stairs together and each closed her own door. Mia found herself ready ahead of Gem, something she never would have thought possible.

"You ok in there?" She called, knocking on Gem's bedroom door.

"No. My bathing suit doesn't fit anymore. I think I got a bit smaller since I moved to L.A."

"Let me see." Mia called into the room through the closed door.

"Well, ok." Gem said unhappily and opened her bedroom door. Her black one piece had seen better days, fit or not, but it certainly didn't fit her now. It hung off her front and back.

"We can't have this." Mia said as she took in how Gem looked in her stretched out suit. "I'll lend you one of mine."

"Haven't we been down this road before? Your stuff doesn't fit me."

"One of my bathing suites might, and like you said you've lost some weight since you've been here, and I use to be bigger than I am now. All you can do is try one of mine and if it doesn't fit than we'll just have to go buy you a new one before we go to the beach." Mia turned back to her own room. She wasn't taking no for an answer. In her opinion Gem was far too pale for a California girl. She headed back to Gem's room a moment later. "Try this." She handed Gem a bright red bikini top and a pair of red bottoms with brilliant white hibiscus blossoms all over them in a Hawaiian print.

Gem turned back to her room with a sigh. She really didn't figure on Mia's clothes fitting her at all. To her surprise she did get the suit on. She didn't feel very comfortable with what it covered. Maybe to say she didn't feel comfortable with what it didn't cover was a more apt statement. She'd never worn a two piece suit before and it was making her uncomfortable. She pulled a tank top and pair of shorts on over the suit and left her room.

"Well, does it fit?" Mia asked.

"I guess so." Gem mumbled, tossing the strap of her beach bag over her shoulder as she looked at her feet.

"Well, lemme see and I'll tell you if it does or not."

Gem pulled off her tank top with a sigh and stood in a belligerent pose, giving away how unsettled the bathing suit situation was making her.

"It fits you good. You need some sun though. You look like some sort of vampire chick with your skin so pale."

"Ok, let's just get this over with." Gem pulled a bucket hat on over her pigtails.

"Why the attitude all of a sudden?"

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable being on display like I will be in this suit. It's so red, and, well, small."

"You'll get a lot of attention, but it'll be the good kind, don't worry. Let's go."

They headed down the stairs to find Vince waiting at the bottom ahead of them. "I thought you two were never coming."

"Yeah yeah." Mia nagged with a smile. "We're ready now."

They left the house and locked the door. The girls walked over to Vince's car on instinct, knowing he would want to be the one to drive. He tore down to the popular beach and parked the car at the restaurant 'Neptune's Net'. They ate lunch and then headed down to the beach together, carting their blankets and towels.

The second they had their blankets out Mia was stripped down to her swimsuit and getting comfortable on her blanket. Gem looked around nervously, unsure if she was going to be willing to take her clothes off or not.

"You're never going to get a tan like that." Mia teased as Gem stood by the blanket. With a sanguine shrug Gem pulled her tank top off over her head and sat on the blanket, wiggling out of her shorts. "See, was that so bad?"

"Yes, everyone is looking at me."

"Yeah, because you look good. Red's your colour."

Gem's only reply was a look Mia correctly read as 'I think you're just saying that'. Gem pulled her hat down over her face more and pushed her sun glasses up her nose as she reclined back on her elbows and looked around at the other people on the beach.

Vince fought his instinct to stare at both girls and settled for staring at all the other women walking around the beach wearing their brief suits. There was no way on earth he was taking off anything he had on. His tank top and shorts stayed.

"You wanna go for a swim?" Mia asked Gem about half an hour later.

"Yes." Gem admitted reluctantly. She was so hot the water looked very inviting, but going for a swim meant getting up and walking across the expanse of white sand between her and the cool blue water.

"Let's go then." Mia hopped up and stood waiting on Gem.

Gem got up and adjusted her boy cut bottoms surreptitiously. With a glance at Vince she followed Mia toward the water. The look on Vince's face stuck with her. She hadn't been able to read it and wasn't sure if it was a good look or not. She followed Mia out into the water and the two of them swam around and splashed each other for half an hour before they decided to get out. As they reached the shore a couple of tanned, blond surfer guys walked up to them.

"We're a few people short for a game of volleyball. You girls want to join us?"

Mia and Gem shared a look. "Sure." Mia answered for both of them.

"Great!" The two guys shared a look of their own. They waited for Mia and Gem to precede them back to the area where the net was set up. "So do you guys know how to play?"

"It's been a while." Gem answered their question. "But I think I remember all the basic rules."

"Me too." Mia added with a grin.

The guys who had invited them introduced themselves and the rest of their group, including the other two girls who were with them. They picked two teams and started to play.

Vince watched Mia and Gem play volleyball with the group of young blond men down the beach, fighting his jealousy. He'd seen the way those guys had checked out Mia and Gem as they'd walked down the beach. He knew what guys like them had on their minds and he didn't like it. He checked the watch Mia had left in her bag and saw it was almost supper time anyway. He got up off the blanket and started their way.

He was use to all the attention Mia got in public in a bathing suit. He wasn't use to watching guys ogle Gem. He found he was just as jealous over Gem as he use to be over Mia and he had about as much right. That was to say he didn't really have any right. But when Gem had stood up wearing Mia's little bathing suit he'd wanted to tackle her back down and wrap her up in something.

Why had she been hiding that body under loose, baggy clothes? He'd been attracted to her all along but when he realized just what she had under her reserved clothing his hormones had gone into overdrive. And now there she was, playing volleyball with a group of strange guys, letting them look at her, smile at her, occasionally touch her in friendly ways, all while they wore nothing but low slung surfer boy trunks, their lean, tanned chests and washboard stomachs on display.

It wasn't fair. She even admitted as little as a year ago she would have found him cute, handsome even. But that was before; before he became a skinny, pale, scarred version of himself. Now he was just her slightly annoying roommate who she figured had a drinking problem and she was letting random guys at the beach hit on her. Guys who weren't too self conscious to go shirtless and still had normal lives. Guys who were handsome now, not has beens like him. He'd known he wasn't good enough for her, but the contrast of himself verses those young, likely normal guys was really driving the point home. When had he become someone who thought less than the best of himself?

He looked up from his feet as he crossed the sand and watched as Gem volleyed the ball and Mia jumped up, spiking it over the net. All the guys on their team cheered and high fived each other and the girls. He really couldn't blame the guys for staring, but he didn't have to like it. He reached the side of their court.

"It's time to leave Mia." He called out.

"Really? It can't be that late." Mia called back as she pouted, clearly still flirting with the boys she'd met.

"Did you see us?" Gem asked happily as she walked over to Vince, her discomfort about her attire forgotten. "We were playing volleyball and we won!" She was exuberant, clearly happy to be out and having fun with people her own age.

"I saw." He couldn't help but smile at her. He held out a hand on impulse and felt the smile get bigger when she took it.

"Now that you mention it I am starving." She said as she moved around to Vince's side. "You coming Mia?"

"I guess." Mia started dragging her feet through the sand on her way over to her friends.

"Hey girl, we're goin' out later and you guys're welcome to come with." One of the surfer guys called after Mia. Mia looked at Gem and Vince pleadingly. Neither looked all that enthusiastic about his offer. "I'll give you my cell number. You wanna go you gimme a call." The guy got a pen off one of his friends and jotted his number down on Mia's palm with a grin. He added the name Matt below the number.

"Ok Matt, thanks for the game." Mia said, smiling.

With a wave Matt and his friends went back to their game and Mia and Gem started back down the beach with Vince. Vince didn't let go of Gem's hand and she didn't take hers away from him.

The drive home went fast. Mia and Gem cooked a simple meal and they all sat down to eat. When they were done the girls cleaned up and Vince disappeared to the shop. He said he had to check up on the boys after a day of no supervision to make sure the place was still standing.

"Gem, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's on your mind?"

"I don't think you want to go out with those guys tonight do you?"

"Not really. I'm pretty tired and since I was too sick to work I think I better not get caught out at some other club. Why?"

"I'd really like to go." Mia looked torn.

"But you feel guilty for leaving me here alone and for the fact you might have a good time?"

"Yeah." Mia looked up at Gem. It was clear Gem had hit the nail on the head.

"Go. It's been a long time since you got to go have fun. I'll be fine here alone. I'll enjoy the quiet time. You can tell me all about it tomorrow."

Mia hugged Gem tightly. "Thank you."

"No problem girl. Clubbing was never my thing anyway. I like little independent places with live entertainment better as a rule."

"Come help me get ready." Mia dragged Gem up the stairs and into her room. An hour later she was dressed up and Matt was knocking on the door. Gem opened it and invited him in.

"You're not comin'?"

"No, just Mia." Gem leaned in close to the man, trying to imagine what Vince would say. "You hurt her in any way I'll bury you so deep the heat of the earth's core will incinerate the evidence. Got me?" She asked with a sunny-fake-grin.

"I got you chica." The blond man actually looked nervous. Mia came down the stairs, dressed in a white sundress with strappy white sandals that accented her now deeper skin tone.

"You two have fun." Gem chirped as she pulled the front door open. When she'd closed it behind Mia and her friend she leaned against it with a groan. She hadn't wanted to bring Mia down or make her feel guilty into staying home but she was in agony. She'd forgotten how long it had been since she spent any amount of time in the sun and she had one hell of a sunburn starting to show.

"How do I get myself into these messes?" She asked herself as she headed upstairs. She went through all her drawers but she didn't find anything that didn't hurt her sunburn. Due to the suit she'd had on a huge percentage of her body was as red as an east coast lobster when water was on the boil. She gave up on finding any clothes that wouldn't chafe her raw skin and put her bathing suit top back on along with a pair of terry shorts. She knotted her hair up on top of her head to keep it from irritating her back.

She went back down stairs and turned on the TV before laying on her stomach on the couch, feeling very sorry for herself.

When Vince got back to the house there were no lights on. "If they went out with those punks I'll kill them all." He muttered walking up the front walk. He pushed the door open and walked into the living room. The TV was on but nothing else.

"Mia? That you?" He heard Gem's sleepy voice call from the couch. "I need you to put some of that aloe stuff from the bathroom on my back. I couldn't reach."

Vince flipped the lamp on and looked over the back of the couch. When he saw Gem's back and realized her skin was almost as red as her top he turned around and headed up the stairs to get the green goop she was referring to. He made his way back down and hit the kitchen next. A minute later he sat on the edge of the couch in the hollow curve of Gem's waist. He squirted some of the stuff onto her back and watched her shudder. She had her face turned away from him, into the back of the couch.

"Man that stuff's cold." She groaned as the cold salve hit her over heated skin.

Vince took a deep breath to steady himself for what he was about to do and started to rub the stuff around on her back. Touching her skin was like touching fire she was so sunburned. He squirted more of the green gel onto Gem and started to work it around.

"Did you have a good time?" Gem asked as she felt more gel fall onto her skin. "I wouldn't have thought it could be that late yet. What are you doing home already?" It felt very good until it heated up. She could just imagine her skin was soaking it right in. It had to be deprived of moisture as bad as she'd allowed herself to burn. She felt like a total idiot. She also wondered why Mia wasn't talking to her. Did that Matt guy hurt her feelings?

The hands on her back moved down her sides with some of the cooling product on them. It was about then she realized the hands weren't small and soft like Mia's would be, but large and rough, belonging to someone who did manual labour daily and had the calluses to show for it.

"Mia?" She asked hesitantly, giving whoever a change to identify themselves before she freaked out.

"No." She heard Vince answer gruffly. "You didn't think of sunscreen?" He asked as he continued to smooth her skin in long, gentle strokes.

"No."

"Where is Mia?"

"She went out with those guys from today."

"She shoulda stayed here and took care of you."

"She really wanted to go so I didn't tell her how bad this was." Gem groaned as more gel hit her skin. It felt very good. "She deserves to have some fun. That stuff feels so good until it gets hot."

It was getting hot all over, Vince thought as he looked down at the sunburned nape of Gem's neck. He was getting all hot and bothered over a girl who was currently seeing him as someone who could reach her back while she couldn't. He did have a surprise for her though. He reached into the dish he'd brought with him from the kitchen and took an ice cube out of it.

Placing it on the nape of her neck he trailed it down the dip of her spin all the way to the waistband of her shorts. It was something they'd always done for sunburns when they were kids, but this didn't feel like when they were kids to him. There was an entirely different, adult overtone to it. He ran the ice back up to her neck before sliding it down over her left shoulder.

"Just never stop doing that." Gem moaned, the slide of the ice over her overheated skin the first comfortable thing she'd felt since they'd gotten home.

Vince picked up a second cube and started it over her other shoulder. Her skin prickled up in little goose bumps as the contrast of cold and hot clashed.

"Next time, as fun as this is, why don't you let me put some sunscreen on you before we hit the beach, ok?" Vince asked, thinking of the pain she was going to be in in the morning.

"Deal." She started to pick up on the currents running under the situation. When she started to feel his fingers around the melting ice she took a deep breath to gather her courage for what she was about to do. She flipped from her stomach to her back. "My tummy got really burned too. Can I have one of those?" She pointed at the ice.

"No you can't. They're mine." Vince held the dish out of her reach.

"But it really hurts." Gem pouted, trying to copy the way Mia did it that seemed to make boys fall over themselves to give her what she wanted.

"I just don't think you're qualified to use these," Vince gestured at the bowl of ice, "after seeing what you already managed to do to yourself today. You better let me do it."

"Well, if you insist." Gem tossed one arm over the top of the couch and let the other fall over the edge toward the floor and watched with rapt attention as Vince picked up a fresh ice cube and pressed it against her skin at the base of her sternum and started to trail it down the indentation bisecting her abdominal muscles.

"Why are you still wearing your bathing suit?" Vince asked as he dipped the ice cube into Gem's navel before continuing back up her stomach.

"It's the only thing that doesn't really hurt me to wear."

He nodded like he understood before moving from her stomach to shoulders and skimming the ice over her clavicle.

Gem couldn't take her eyes off the glistening cube of ice as it made its way from her collar bone down to the edge of her bikini top and traced the edge from the strap on her shoulder to the point where it came together in the center of her cleavage.

"Just how badly burned are you?" Vince asked in a raspy voice, the longer only a rapidly melting cube of ice separated his hands from her skin the harder it got not to just toss the ice and forget she was burned.

"Well, if you see the skin that was covered next to the skin that wasn't," Gem's words trailed off as she slowly sat up and slid the strap nearest Vince off her shoulder and down her arm. "You can really see how red I am."

"Yeah, I see that." Vince answered, never breaking eye contact with Gem.

Gem felt almost embarrassed holding his gaze but she wouldn't look away. They were almost face to face once she'd sat up. Everything felt like it was happening underwater as her blood almost felt thicker in her veins and everything got a slow, thick feeling to it. She watched like her life was in slow motion as Vince reached up and took the elastic out of her hair letting it fall all around her before burying his hand that didn't have the ice cube into the thick mass and bringing her toward him.

He'd tried to fight it. Told himself so many times he wasn't good enough for her, was too cynical, too jaded, too world weary for her. He couldn't fight anymore. Maybe if he'd been smart and just rubbed the aloe into her back and left. If he'd retreated to his own room right away instead of playing games with her, than he just might have been able to walk away. But not now, not when she was looking at him with her lips just slightly parted and that hazy look in her unfocused eyes, the one that told him she was equally affected by whatever it was between them.

The remnants of the last ice cube fell forgotten to the floor as he used his other hand to hold the back of her head as he leaned in close enough to brush her lips with his. The brief contact was all it took to drive him over the edge of his control.

If this was what it was supposed to feel like when a guy you liked kissed you than Vince was right, the men in her life had been doing something wrong, Gem thought as she eagerly kissed Vince back. This was exciting, this was an almost overwhelming feeling of losing herself totally to another person and all he was doing was kiss her with his hands in her hair. Like he could read her mind he released her lips and trailed his kisses down her neck and across her shoulder. She let her head fall back to give him easier access.

So much for not getting involved with him.

With a boldness she would never have thought she had mere minutes ago she ran her hands into his shaggy hair and pulled his mouth back to her own, kissing him. With a growl he kissed her back, his hands going around behind her, fumbling with the clasp of her bikini top.

While her participation was equal to his own, her responses just as eager, there was a certain inexperienced quality to them as well, Vince thought as he fought another moan when Gem started to echo his treatment of her neck on his own. He finally got the back of her bathing suit undone and ran his hands over her bare back. The temperature difference between the small strip of her flesh her bathing suit had protected and the rest of her skin made him pull up short.

With a heartfelt sigh he pulled back from her teasing kisses.

"What's wrong?" Gem asked, hurt filling her turquoise eyes instantly.

"Nothing," he said, the tone a deep growl of frustration. "You're too hurt for this now. I know you're not feeling it now but if this goes much farther that burn is going to hurt like hell."

"No it won't." She moved to kiss him again, intent on what she wanted.

"Yes it will. Trust me, no one wants to finish what we started more than I do ok? But the second something scrapes against any part of you that's burned you're going to regret it."

"It's not an issue." Gem did her best imitation of his growl.

He chuckled. He knew just how she felt. The fact that he even cared was unnerving. Why wasn't he simply willing to take what she was clearly offering without question? "It is when one of us is covered in sunburn and the other is covered in hair princess." The word he'd used so often as an insult came out as an endearment. He wished he could take it back on one hand, and found it fitting on the other. "There'll be other times for this. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you."

"I guess." Gem shivered as the night air blew in the window and over her exposed skin. He was right on one count. She was starting to hurt and it was likely true it would only get worse if a repetitive motion chafed it against something like blankets, or say, couch cushions.

"Come on. I'll take you to your room."

"I can walk." Gem snapped back, in a huff.

"I know but I'm trying to be the gentleman here so humour me." Vince swung Gem up into his arms and started out of the room.

"It's going to be so hot in my room." Gem whined, starting to get the sick feeling that often accompanied over exposure to the sun.

"That is why you are going to sleep in my room tonight. The basement is cooler by nature than the upstairs." He made the decision in a snap.

"But I thought you said we couldn't," Gem trailed off, blushing.

"I still mean it. I'll sleep in one of the extra beds down there." Vince started down the stairs. "Don't look at the mess."

"Ok."

He set her on his bed and she stretched out, burrowing her face into his pillow. The way it smelled like him was comforting. He left the room and returned a few minutes later. "I want you to take this Tylenol and then try to get some sleep." She did as she was told.

Vince could only figure the exhaustion of her sun exposure made her tired because she fell asleep almost right away. He started out of his room, figuring on using Leon's bed for the night. He paused outside the door of Leon's room. Which demons were worse? The ones which would haunt him in Leon's room or the one's waiting for him sharing his bed with his temporary guest? In the end he chose to tempt fate with Leon's room. He didn't trust himself around that blond woman and any bed.

"This place is disgusting." Mia drew out disgusting to emphasize how very appalling she found the state of the basement. She pushed into Vince's room. "You awake yet?" She asked as she walked over to the bed.

"No." Gem moaned. "I want you to kill me. Please?"

"I'm sorry I didn't think to remind you to put on sunscreen. I'm use to getting so much sun I don't really need it."

"I should have thought of it." Gem sat up, wincing. She looked around the room and grimaced. "He lives like this?"

"Yeah." Mia answered, wrinkling up her nose. "So, how'd you end up in his bed?"

"He offered because it's cooler down here. If I'd known I might end with plague from the conditions of the place I would have suffered in the heat upstairs."

"No kidding. You don't want to see the bathroom."

"I imagine not." Gem got out of the bed and happened to see herself in Vince's mirror. "Oh man. I look like a ripe tomato."

"You might end up with a nice tan when it heals."

"I also might end up with melanoma." Gem pulled the strap of her top down her arm to compare her normal skin to her burn. "Look how red I am!"

"Yeah, you shoulda been tanning without the top. Now you'll have tan lines." Mia smiled cheekily.

Gem was glad her burn hid her blush. It was bad enough to be caught in Vince's room, let alone being caught in Vince's room and talk about nude sunbathing. "I guess I should go change and call Barry to tell him I can't make it today. There's no way I can work like this. What are you doing home anyway? Don't you normally open the store for a few hours on Saturday?"

"Yeah, until lunch time. You slept right through lunch. Vince'll be home from the garage any time now."

That got Gem moving. She got out of the basement as fast as she could, which wasn't fast enough to avoid seeing the mess the rest of the level was in. She got in the shower as soon as she got upstairs and stayed under the cool water as long as she could. Her next stop was the phone. She called Barry and told him she was still sick and couldn't make it in.

She had to talk to him some time to set his mind to rest that she was ok but ill. The fact she'd called in sick yesterday than hadn't seen Vince all night had made him worry for her.

"No really Barry, I'm fine. I have a bad head cold," Gem did feel bad for the lie but it couldn't be helped. "And I fell asleep in back yard yesterday and got a very bad sunburn. Vince didn't go anywhere last night because Mia wasn't home and he thought someone should stay home with me in case I had sunstroke or something."

"You're sure you're not in trouble? There isn't someone standing there making you say you're fine is there?"

"Gosh no. I'm touched you're so concerned for me Barry, I really am, but I'm fine. Or at least I'll be fine after a few gallons of water and orange juice and a gallon or so of aloe gel."

"If you're sure. Should Barbara drop by with something for you?"

"I'll be fine. I have Mia and V to wait on me. I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Ok, see you then."

Barry hung up on his end and Gem set the phone onto the cradle with a sigh. She hated lying. She also really wondered what Vince had done to make everyone have such a bad opinion of him. She knew they all likely suspected what he'd done but with no concrete proof it seemed so wrong to hold it against him. She turned back to Mia.

"So how'd your night go?"

"Oh my God Gem I had such a good time. Matt was really nice and the rest of his friends were too. Almost every day I use to think about Brian. Ever since you came I've been thinking of him less and less but going out with Matt and his friends. I dunno, it's like it reminded me that life goes on and other guys are just as nice and just as cute. Not that I still don't want a chance to settle things with Brian but it's like what happened last summer isn't the driving force of my life anymore."

"I'm glad you had a good time and they were all really nice."

"They were all totally nice. You should have come with us."

"I don't think I would have had enough ability to move to go out dancing. I had a nice time passing out on the couch, drooling on the cushions."

Mia smiled at that. "When did Vince get home?"

"Um, I don't really know. He just woke me up and sent me to bed downstairs when he got in. I didn't really see the time. I know it was dark outside. It could have been any time after nine I guess but I really…" Gem realized she was babbling again and shut her mouth. Mia gave her one of those 'I see right through you' looks she hated.

"Well, was it late? Did he smell like beer? Did he go out last night or come home and stay home?"

"Came home and stayed I think." Gem muttered, uncomfortable with the topic.

"I see." Mia grinned. "So what really happened? Tell me before he gets home."

"Nothing happened Mia. He came home, he woke me up, he yelled at me for getting burned so badly and he told me to go to bed in his room because it was too hot upstairs for me with my skin all burned. That's all."

"But something kept him home. If he really stayed home and didn't go out drinking last night was the first night in almost a year he stayed in and didn't drink to some level."

"Maybe he was tired too." Gem retorted defensively. Before she could continue they both heard the sound of Vince's car winding down in the driveway. Gem gave Mia a look asking her to let the subject go.

As Mia watched Gem and Vince avoid eye contact with each other, avoid personal conversations, and walk on egg shells around each other she knew there was more to the story than Gem had let on. Something had happened between her friends and she was determined to find out what.

Neither of them would co-operate with her however, and all she had was a nagging sense that something was up. No one would fill her in on what, and lord knew she never saw anything that even remotely hinted they were more than friends over the rest of Gem's days off. She did see a lot of them being edgy around each other though, something they hadn't been before the night she'd gone out.

She was further convinced something was up when, for all the nights Gem had off Vince stayed home with them instead of taking off for his nightly visits to the Cobalt. It was like he had decided he'd rather be home with them than at the bar if Gem wasn't there.

Mia watched with interest as, when Gem went back to work on Tuesday Vince found his desire to go back to the Cobalt. There was something up between them. It was the most frustrating thing Mia had dealt with in a long time that no one would tell her what. She tried to figure it out and scheme details about what had gone on for the rest of the week but no one took the bait.

On Thursday Gem showed up for lunch at Toretto's, as she did almost every day. As Mia set Gem's sandwich and drink down in front of her she sighed wistfully.

"No I won't tell you anything I haven't already so stop with the 'poor me' routine already." Gem said after swallowing. She looked up at Mia with a teasing light in her eyes. "You think so much happened and you're being kept in the dark. Whatever you made up in your head is ten times better than anything that could have really happened."

"So something did happen?"

"Yeah, in your perverted mind it did." Gem turned back to her sandwich.

"You think I don't see how you look at him, how he looks at you? Something is going on."

"If, and I'm saying if hypothetically, something was going on, would that make you happy or upset?" Gem asked as she looked at Mia, a hint of nervousness in her eyes.

"Happy of course. He's a good guy who needs a good girl to remind him of the fact. I know you said you weren't out for a project relationship but the changes in him since you moved in are so obvious to me. I can't help but wonder just how much like the old Vince he could get back to being with you around."

"I wasn't out to put someone back together Mia." Gem sighed.

"But what if the results when you're done are really worth it?"

"My question is will they be."

"I think so."

"The guy is practically your brother, what else are you going to say?" Gem didn't let Mia answer. "Anyway, I have to go home and get ready for work. If you're bored tonight why don't you come down and see us sing? We go on around eight."

"I might do that."

Gem left and Mia went back to tidying up her little lunch counter.

Around seven she decided she would like to see Gem sing, and perhaps would like even more to see Vince play again. She threw on some clean clothes and a little makeup. She remembered where the club was from the time she took Gem to get her car back and with in half an hour of leaving her house she was parking beside Gem's grey car outside the Cobalt.

Mia adjusted her bracelets nervously as she opened the door of the club and entered the cool, dark interior. There was no sign of either Gem or Vince so she just sat down near the back of the room in a corner. When the waitress stopped by she ordered a fruity drink and sat back to wait for the show to get underway.

Just as she got her drink a dark woman with long black hair walked up to a microphone in the corner by the stage and turned it on.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome once again to open mic night at the Cobalt Café. I'm your host for the evening, Nalia. We have quite a few repeat performers tonight and a few fresh faces so I hope you all enjoy the show. Up first, as I'm sure you're getting use to we have our very own Gem Davis," the crowd clapped and a few even whistled, "who just tonight informed me she and her band have decided on a name of Indigo Sound, for now."

Mia liked that name, Indigo Sound. She wondered who had come up with it. She was really looking forward to hearing Gem on stage. She'd heard bits and pieces of her friend's singing as she practised upstairs in her music room, but had never heard her sing a whole song, or sing with musical accompaniment.

"So without any farther adieu, join me in welcoming Indigo Sound."

Mia watched as Gem came down the hall to the left of the stage, followed by a black woman, a very sharply dressed young man with very black hair, and lastly Vince. The later moved to the darkest corner of the stage as if he was trying to become invisible and started hooking up his guitar. The young man sat at a drum set and the black woman sat at a baby grand which had been added to the stage, a keyboard having been pushed off to the side.

Gem looked like a different woman to Mia while she was up on stage. She was confident, smiling, sure of herself; a blue guitar slung behind her, strap across her body. The strap was as blue as her guitar and stood out against her black shirt in sharp relief. Mia did a double take. She'd put a bunch of Letty's old clothes in Gem's room, figuring they'd fit with Gem's recent weight loss. She'd never expected Gem to wear any of them, most of them a racier style than Gem preferred. The shirt she was wearing tonight was one of Letty's. Black, tight, and sheer; it dipped low into Gem's cleavage and was only rendered decent by the black bra she had on under it.

She had on a pair of her own pants but she was wearing them low on her hips, allowing her navel to show. Her hair had picked up lighter highlights from their day at the beach and was hanging down around her shoulders and half way down her back, thick and shiny. Her skin had in fact healed to a nice honey colour; giving her a healthy glow and making her eyes seem impossibly blue, so much bluer than normal. She looked beautiful on the stage with the foot lights shining up at her. Mia almost couldn't believe the woman on the stage was the same one who helped her scrub floors and came to eat the horrible tuna at her café almost every day for lunch.

As she watched them set up she noticed how Vince watched Gem as he stood, waiting for their band to get started. There was something there, and the two of them could try to keep her in the dark all they wanted. She wasn't blind. She could see how they both looked at each other when they thought the other one wasn't looking. It was stupid for them to like each other as they clearly did and pretend not to as they clearly were.

With a sigh Mia leaned back in her chair and looked around. She could see why both her friends liked the bar. The atmosphere was laid back and calm. The blue neon lights gave the place a modern air and the red brick walls helped make sure it wasn't too modern. The dark wood L shaped bar had brass stools with blue leather seats and the various bottles of liquor were on glass shelves behind the bar, lit from beneath with blue light.

"Good evening everyone." Gem said as she stepped up to the microphone. "As you have all no doubt heard from Nalia's announcement we have decided to name our band. Since I couldn't get up here week after week and perform for you all without my friends it didn't seem right for me to get all the credit. So now we're going by the name Indigo Sound. It seemed appropriate as I write all the music on my blue guitar, Elliott loves to wear blue, and we got together in a club named The Cobalt Café."

The audience chuckled. Gem had them right where she wanted them and it was clear they were all waiting with anticipation to hear her newest song. She seemed so protective of the music room and her songs that even Mia didn't dare sneak a peek at what Gem wrote. She couldn't wait to hear her friend's song.

"So without further adieu, I give you Bleed, written by me and preformed by us, Indigo Sound." Gem turned back to the group and started counting down. Before she could say one word her friends did little rifts on their instruments. Then Gem and Elliott counted "one, two, one two three four."

Gem turned back to her microphone as Vince played a cord and Tamica fingered a few keys on the piano as Elliott rapped his drumsticks together to set the tempo. When the song started proper Vince and Gem were playing similar lines on their dissimilar guitars. Gem was as good as she'd imagined and Vince was still every bit as good as she'd remembered.

When the introduction music was done Gem took one step closer to the microphone, still playing her bass as she leaned in.

"Well, it's been almost a year to the moment, when I finally realized it was over. And I knew that love wasn't good enough of a reason for me to stay."

"Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin', and I tried so hard to forget you were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry, over things that I did not say."

It was very clear to Mia that Gem was singing about her. She wasn't sure how she felt about it but it was done with a flair for telling a story and Mia knew the only one ever likely to know it was about her was Vince. And Gem of course.

"And hiding beneath my blankets and sheets, I'm finally free. I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to awakening me."

Mia liked that part. It wasn't a song about her, it was a song for her. That was why Gem had tossed out the invitation tonight when she never had before. It was like Gem was telling her it was finally over, she was finally free of it all, she'd finally moved on. And that was exactly how she felt. She wanted to laugh out loud with the giddy relief of it.

"Yeah, yeah. So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out, and love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without. So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out, on my own, my own, my own."

It was almost like Gem was telling her it was ok to go out and have fun again, to love again. That she wasn't cheating her brother or Letty or Leon or even Jesse out of anything by beginning to live her life the way she wanted to again. It wasn't right to live your life without feelings or only feeling sad and angry all the time. It was time it stopped and she'd made steps in the right direction. It was like Gem knew she'd been guilty as hell about it and had written the song as a message.

"Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable, and I force your insults under the table. And if you were wise you would compromise, and allow me to live my way."

Mia also recognized that verse for what it was; a poke at Vince for how he'd talked to them the night of their big fight. It was all water under the bridge now but it was clear it still lingered on Gem's mind. It had lingered on Mia's too. She was glad she was going to get to go back to school in September so that she wouldn't end up like Vince had thrown at her. Gem wouldn't either, if her performance tonight was anything to go by.

"'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with and you don't have a clue what you're messin' with. And you can't see to the best in me, 'cause it's more than your heart can take."

Mia had a feeling Gem was talking about both of them now. She didn't know what had gone down between Vince and Gem to relate the lyrics but she did know she felt like it might be relevant to how Dom had left her behind. Gem's songs were very personal and she understood now why her blond friend would never let them see what she'd written in advance of her performance.

"And hiding beneath my blankets and sheets, I'm finally free. I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to awakening me.

"I'm awakening me.

"I'm awakening me, yeah.

"I'm awakening me. Yeah, yeah."

Mia could pin point the exact time Gem noticed her because Gem winked with a wrinkle of her nose when she spotted her at the back of the room. She continued singing with a huge grin.

"So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out, and love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without. So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out, on my own, my own, my own.

"I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free. And, baby, now you're just another song to me. And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me to bleed, yeah yeah."

She drawled out bleed in that punk rocker chick style Mia loved to hear on someone with a voice like Gem's; full of attitude in just the right way and then filled in the rest of the music singing na na na.

When she was done singing the audience erupted into applause. Mia joined them enthusiastically. The perfect song to put a period to a chapter of her life that wasn't worthy to be anything but just another song. None of their swords were sharp enough to break her skin anymore, to make her bleed. She hoped Gem could say the same thing about unthinking Vince and his callous words.

Vince wasn't as slow as Gem thought if she thought he didn't know parts of that song were a message to him. He got it loud and clear. He also wasn't sure if he was amused by it or pissed off. He was going to have to settle for undecided for the moment. He unplugged his guitar from the amp and started off the stage. When he realized he was alone he looked back.

Tamica had called Gem over to the piano and the two were talking in hushed tones. Gem nodded almost reluctantly and moved back up to the mic as Tamica pulled her own mic back down toward her.

Vince looked around the room and spotted Mia at the back, sitting alone. He headed her way, unsure if he was mad she had breached his sanctum where he was free of her presence and the guilt it invoked or happy she was getting out of the house herself.

He was still uncomfortable around Gem and the added tension was making him even shorter with the girls than normal. Something had to give but once the heat of the moment had left, his cool head was back to thinking a woman like Gem didn't need a mess like him in her life.

He sat heavily at the table with Mia. "You enjoy the song?"

"I did actually. She's really good."

"She is. Too good for this dinky little place and too good for washed up people like me to be playing her music." Where in god's name had that come from?

"If you'd stop putting yourself down for five minutes and let Gem make up her own mind you'd get a lot farther."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't. I see the way you two look at each other and the way you don't. The don't part is on purpose, like you're both scared of what you'll see if you really look at the other."

"Mia, you know everything there is to know about me, about us, about what we've done. You can't honestly think the best thing for a girl like her is to be tied to a guy like me. She's better off without me. She'd be better off if she'd never gotten involved with us at all."

"If she never had than I'd be at home crying my heart out right now while you were here busy getting loaded so you didn't have to remember any of it. I guess I'm still old school enough to think she was sent here for a reason and you're busy doing everything you can to avoid seeing it."

Tamica's voice across the PA system saved Vince from coming up with an answer. "What up guys? I wrote a new song myself but I don't think I can pull it off lyrically myself so I've basically bribed and guilt tripped my girl Gem here into singing for me."

Mia and Vince both turned back to the stage. Gem had pushed her bass behind her back. Tamica was playing the piano as Gem hummed into the mic.

"Some people live for the fortune." Gem took the microphone into her hands as she forced her voice to go deeper than she would normally sing. It lent her a smoky tone that wasn't truly her sound, but still sounded good. Just different. Tamica had told her how she wanted the song to sound and Gem was doing her best to accommodate her friend. She was nervous about how she'd sound, singing someone else's song. She was sounding ok so far.

She made it through the song. She attributed it to the fact that Tamica was such a fantastic piano player she just couldn't allow her voice to be the weak link in the chain.

"Some people want it all. But I don't want nothing at all, if it ain't you baby.

If I ain't got you baby. Some people want diamond rings. Some just want everything.

But everything means nothing, if I ain't got you, you, you."

As the last piano note died away Gem left the stage with a wave to the audience as she headed to the green room. Vince watched her go, unsure if he wanted to go after her and get some answers for questions her song had raised or just let it slide. Mia watched another two performances and then she said good night. By the time Mia left he still wasn't sure which way he wanted to handle the things Gem had said he was sure were about him.

He watched her work, no more sure of what he should do than he was about his ability to keep his vow to Mia and leave Gem the hell alone, whether Mia wanted him to keep it or not.