Catalyst

by tempest-races

A catalyst is not consumed by a reaction, only precipitates it; remaining itself unchanged and yet instigating momentious change in the reagents. Like a catalyst, will they fall out of solution unscathed or will the reaction consume them both?

5. Paper Bag

Catalyst

By - TempestRaces

Chapter 5 – Paper Bag

Gem fought hard to keep her eyes from straying to Vince as she flitted about the room waiting on everyone but him. She wanted to know if he was watching her, if he looked upset, but she was scared if he caught her looking at him he'd know she thought he might be upset and had reason to be. It was definitely better not to be caught looking at him. However, it was going to be hard to keep from going his way sooner or later. Otherwise it was going to be more than a little obvious she was avoiding him, not merely too busy to stop by as often as she would on a normal night.

It wasn't that she thought she had anything to be ashamed of; she just didn't want to deal with any anger that might be forthcoming. She knew he was smart enough to figure out some of her words were for him. She just didn't know what he'd think about it. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to know. Perhaps she should have let their truce stand and left the song the way it had been before she decided something had to be said about the way Vince talked to her and Mia. But she had never been the girl content to rest on her laurels.

Just as she was about to head his way Barbara walked up to her. "What put your man in such a bad mood tonight?"

Uh oh! "I don't know, is he in a bad mood?" Gem's tone was innocent, as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. She decided it wasn't the time to protest Vince wasn't her man.

"Surly as the old days." Barbara frowned with a wrinkle of her nose. "I'm expecting to see the heads he's bitten off start littering the floor any time now."

"Great." Gem sighed. "Could I impose on you to take care of him tonight then?" Gem felt guilty but not enough to back out of her request. "I get enough of his moods at home."

"Of course Sugar, you save me from him often enough to earn a night off every once in awhile. Was the pretty girl with him earlier the famous Mia?"

"Yeah, that was her. I really have to ask Barry about my new hours soon. It's already August and she wants to start class in September."

"Honey, when the kids go back to school we won't be half as busy as we are now anyway. He'll be fine with it. Talk to him soon though, don't spring it on him at the last minute."

"You're right. I'll show up early tomorrow and talk to him about it."

Barbara just headed off toward Vince, shooing Gem off in the opposite direction.

Vince watched the old broad head his way and knew Gem was avoiding him. They all knew he liked to be waited on by Gem and more often than not that was what happened. He decided it wouldn't be a great idea to fight with her inside the club anyway and let it go. He allowed Barbara to wait on him without saying much. He was being careful to limit his intake anyway. Bad things happened when he fought with the girls intoxicated. And boy did he feel a fight with Gem coming on.

By the end of the night Gem was so tired she could hardly stand. Thursdays were always rough for her. She did a quick scan of the bar to confirm all the patrons were gone before she went to collect her purse and jacket from the back room.

"Heading out sweetheart?" Barry asked from where he was doing his nightly deposit.

"Yep, everyone's cleared out. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you then. Be careful."

Gem gave Barry a small smile with a little wave and left the bar, Barbara locking the door behind her. As she rounded the corner of the club and had an unobstructed view of the parking lot she saw Vince was once again sitting on her car hood.

"Hey." She called as she walked up to her car, barely able to lift her feet.

"Hey." Vince replied, his expression not boding well for what was to come. Gem braced herself mentally for the onslaught while schooling her outward appearance to remain the same. "What was that?"

"You're going to need to be a lot more specific V, it was a long night."

"Don't 'V' me. I thought we were cool."

"We are cool. I don't know what you're talking about." Just another lie to add to the growing pile, Gem mused.

"You don't? She doesn't know." Vince's voice dropped into a growled murmur. It was a scarier tone than if he had started to yell. He only used that tone when he was really mad.

The question was, was he really mad about her song, or about her lie? Gem closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath while she waited for the fireworks to begin.

"Not really, no. I always leave Thursday nights exhausted, mentally and physically. Any chance we could go into what you're getting at more tomorrow when you get home from work?" It was worth a shot.

"Not a single chance in hell. We're going to talk about it now. Get in the Maxima, we'll talk while I drive home." Vince moved to get off her car as his hand moved toward his pocket.

"I'd rather take my own car home, thanks all the same." Gem's stubborn chin went up a notch. She wasn't going to be ordered around.

"I guess we'll just have to talk right here then."

"Ok, talk away." Gem moved to go around Vince to get into her car. He grabbed her arm as she went past him to stop her travel.

"Where you goin?"

"To sit down in my car. I've been working all night and my feet are tired."

"You can stand another five minutes."

"Why don't you stand and let me sit on my own car then? Who are you to tell me to stand up while you lecture me?" Gem shook his hold off. What about him made her fight back so vehemently? "I don't want to stand here and talk to you anymore."

"Too bad. I don't care if you like it or not. You got some things I want explained. What're you doin, writin' songs about me?"

"Don't flatter yourself Vince," Gem placed a hand on her cocked hip and tried to cop an attitude, "that song was for Mia."

"Parts of it yeah, but there was a big part of it directed at me."

"In your mind maybe." Gem shook her head irately. "This is ridiculous. I'm going home. If you want to brood about this in the parking lot you can do it without me." Gem moved to walk around Vince again.

"Don't you dare walk away from me! We're gonna talk about this."

"No we're not Vince. It's late, I'm tired, and it can wait 'til tomorrow."

"No it can't." Vince decided to bring out the big guns, and get right to the point. "Is that what you think? That I don't see the best of you because I can't take it?"

The hurt in his voice checked her. She turned back to face him with a sigh. "Did you ever stop to think it isn't about how you see me at all? Did it ever occur to you that it could be a commentary on how your supposed friend who abandoned you is still ruining your life even though he's long gone?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Sure you don't. You don't see how you were made to think you were nothing but a follower by Dom for so long you came to believe it, and moreover came to think that was what you liked? Even though when it comes right down to it you sure do love to boss me and Mia around every chance you get."

"I liked it fine! It was Dom's place to be the leader. I didn't want it any different than I had it."

"Really? Than why isn't Mia the one who takes charge? What is it you?"

"Because Mia was worse off than I was after last summer. She wasn't in any shape to pick up the pieces. It had to be me."

Gem ran her hands into her hair, scraping it back from her face as she looked at the gravel she was parked on. She had a lot to say to that, but she didn't how to say it without angering Vince further. Perhaps he needed to be angry; perhaps he needed to hear it. She didn't know a way to tell him without making him mad so maybe he was just going to have to be mad. His whole attitude of being almost oppressed was getting pretty tired out. He had a life to live and it wasn't the rest of the world's fault he refused to get on with it and instead chose to remain mired in the past.

"Mia did ok the two months you weren't around. I mean, she's still alive. She might have had some issues but she coped. You were-by your own admission-stuck in the hospital so you weren't being there for her then. Well, Mia's still alive and the house is still standing. It took her awhile to deal with everything but she did it." Gem left what she really wanted to say off, that having Vince around only to run the garage and go get liquored up every night really hadn't done much to help Mia anyway.

"How would you know? You weren't there."

More defensive attitude. Just what would help the situation, Gem thought sarcastically to herself. She was tired, she was sore, she had no desire to have this fight right now, but she didn't see any way around it. No matter how stubborn she was Vince was ten times more so and he'd end up getting his way. He mostly did, a fact she had learned early and was swiftly learning to resent. Maybe that was why she started to get really angry with him again. The last thing they needed was more anger and attitude but she didn't know how to stop it from coming through. Not with him. He drove her past her ability to stay calm like no one else.

"I didn't have to be there. Everything's been stagnating in the house since back then. Walking into the place is like walking into a time warp." She tossed her hands up in the air for effect before returning them to her hips. "I mean the whole downstairs is still the way it was the last time either of the other two guys who use to live down there with you were home. I'm sorry, sad as it is Jesse isn't ever coming back but you wouldn't even put the boxes of Dom and Letty's stuff in his room. You haven't cleaned up your room since as long as they've been gone. Leaving their stuff out isn't going to bring them back."

"I know that! You want it packed up so bad you do it."

"I don't want it packed up badly at all. I think you can't stand to think of it being boxed up at all though. That's why you want me to do it. You think if I do it then you can close the doors and pretend it's all still there, same as you did with Dominic's room. If you agree it should be packed up and taken care of then you do it. They were your friends. You agree that they're never coming back than you pack up their stuff and put it away."

"This hasn't got anything to do with you saying what you say anyway." Vince showed she was right with her statement.

Gem wondered if he knew he'd just proved her point with his rapid change of subject. Rather than admit he didn't want to pack the stuff up or couldn't or just plain wouldn't he changed the subject in a total one eighty. She decided she wasn't ready or willing to let the topic go. "How doesn't it? Instead of sticking around to be here for you and his sister when things got hard, Dom took off. He abandoned his family. Ever think that might have just a little bit to do with the fact he couldn't stand to see you and Mia deal with the tragedy when he himself couldn't? Ever think his taking off had something to do with the fact now he can be hiding someplace happily pretending nothing happened while he left you here to deal with it? He could be anywhere in the world on some pretty beach or whatever pretending he and Letty are just on a nice vacation while you and Jesse are still working to run his garage every day and Mia is still happily going to school and running her little sandwich counter waiting for Brian to show up with a diamond the size of a small egg and marry her. Dom took the coward's way out. You had it right when you told Mia that."

"Hey, Dom's been through a lot!"

"So have you! So has Mia! So have women whose husbands beat the life out of them and kids who're growing up in the slums. Some of our countries brightest young people come out of the slums because they're determined to get better than they have; they're determined to cope in positive ways. But you insist on dealing with it all on your own in the most counterproductive ways I've ever seen while Dom's off someplace not dealing with any of it. As far as you being the one to deal with everything because Mia couldn't I know for a fact Mia was the one who decided Dom and Letty's stuff had to get packed up.

"I know for a fact Mia was the one who wanted to sell their cars and be done with it. I know you were the one who wanted to keep them all in that dingy little shed out back. If they're never coming back then why do you want to hold on to all their cars? You don't drive them. You're only one man so you can't drive four cars anyway but yet you won't let them go. Could it be that all your protests and posturing about how awful Dominic is just a big cover up for how much you really wish he'd come back? How much you miss him, how much you got use to living in his shadow and how scared you are to be in the light for a change?"

"You want the cars sold I'll sell them!" Vince roared.

"I don't want them sold. I'm just sick and tired of you acting like you've sacrificed yourself selflessly for others. Do you think everyone in the world who does something nice for another person goes home at night and complains about the necessity of doing it? You did a lot for Mia, and I'm not trying to take any of that away from you. But Mia did a lot for herself too and I refuse to take any of that away from her. Why can't you just own up to your own issues and start to try and move beyond them? Why do you have to live in the past? I don't understand why you have to keep on using things that went down almost a year ago as reasons why you can't fully live your life now. If you agree that the basement should be picked up and packed up and that their cars should find new homes where they'll see some use than you take care of it."

"You don't know a thing about it."

"No, you're right, I really don't. I don't know about this unhealthy relationship you had with Dom, or why this Leon guy was so great you hold onto his room like some shrine. That's to say I don't know about it first hand. I might not have been there then but I've been being there now. I've heard plenty though and I can tell you any relationship where someone who's supposed to be your friend takes your possessions and gives them to an acquaintance just to show you can be replaced isn't healthy. I know anyone who would ask what other girls are around to have sex with in front of his long term girlfriend is a sick, mean, nasty bastard."

"It was just a beer."

"No it wasn't. It was your beer." Gem accented her point with a stab of her finger into Vince's chest. "And he took it and gave it to the guy he knew you hated more than anyone else in that moment. And he did it to show you that you were expendable, that other people-namely Brian at that moment-would also like to be his friend, date his sister, and do his biding and that it was all the same to him as long as someone was around to be the underling to his boss. He asked what other girls were around for him to sleep with because he knew it would drive home to Letty that there were a plethora of other girls who would love to sleep with him just for the sake of it. No strings, no commitment, just sex because he was some sort of celebrity in this underground world. But instead of seeing how overbearing and controlling he was you insist on mourning the fact he's gone from your life."

"He was my best friend. Yeah, he had his problems. Yeah, he treated Letty like shit a lot of the time. But there were lots of times that he had my back that he was the only one I could count on. I know Dom did stuff to try and keep us in our place but that was just because Dom had to be in control of every situation. He'd lived through too many out of control situations to have it any other way."

"You buy that?" Gem asked incredulously.

"I know it. You wouldn't know what it was like to grow up without a mom and then watch your dad burn to death when you were eighteen but Dom lived it. He lived through going to jail for doing something stupid when he was barely more than a kid. He couldn't do a thing about any of it and it made him unable to let go of control of any other situation."

"You're blaming how he is on his lack of parents?"

"A lot of it, yeah."

"Where are yours?"

"Come again?" Vince looked up at Gem.

"You heard me. Where are your parents?"

"Never knew my dad. Mom died when I was sixteen. What does that have to do with anything?"

"You never had a dad, Dom never had a mom. Your mom died when you were sixteen, Dom's dad didn't die until he was eighteen. So using his lack of parents doesn't hold water as a reason why he's the way he is. You should be the same way, but by your own admission you're a follower and he was a leader. He's a control freak and you'd rather let life ride."

"My dad didn't burn to death right in front of me."

"I'm not saying Dom had it easy, I'm just saying there are two ways to react to adversity. You can either take it at face value, learn from it, grow because of it and move on with life. Or you can use it to create a 'poor me' story and try to play off it for an easy ride and handouts from others for the rest of your life. Dom went the last way. He had everyone making excuses for why he was the way he was by blaming his poor childhood years instead of some flaw he wasn't willing to correct within himself. No one expected too much from him because he encouraged them not to. From what Mia says her dad was great."

"He was. He was awesome."

"So Dom had a stable home life right up until his father died. It wasn't like he was beaten and abused his whole life."

"When Dom lost his right to race on the track he lost almost everything that ever mattered to him at all. He lost his father, his future, his right to follow in his father's footsteps. You don't know what that was like for him. You're here trying to live your dream. Dom watched his die at eighteen."

"Then it was time for Dom to make new dreams, obtainable dreams. Not take his frustration and anger out on his friends and family. Not act like a jackass because he knew everyone around him would write it off on his traumatic past."

Vince stood up off the car and started to pace around. He turned back to Gem. "You weren't there that day. One of the last memories I have is of being in that field dying with Brian trying to save my life and Mia crying. You didn't see the look on Dom's face. He felt so guilty; he thought it was all his fault. He took that all on himself."

"If he was the leader that was his job. If you say he's the one who always stepped up to be the leader than you can't pick and chose when he should have acted like one." Vince was asking for quarter on Dom's behalf and Gem refused to give it. He didn't have any coming, not in her mind. "He got you into that situation."

"No, I got myself into that situation. I could have said no. I could have just not done it. But Dom was the leader and he said we were doing it so we did. But I could have backed out any time I wanted to."

Gem looked up at Vince in shock. He'd just taken responsibility for his own actions. Perhaps they were making headway. "Ok, that's a valid point. But it's also a valid point that instead of encouraging you and nurturing you all strike out on your own he fostered this sense of dependence on his leadership you all had. Perhaps you played into the follower role too blindly but I think Dom also took advantage of the leader role too much. He knew you'd do anything he asked of you and he used that to his advantage."

"Maybe he did but I didn't do anything to stop it. I told you, I was happy that way."

"So you say. I think happy is your word for scared to live any other way after depending on someone else to pick your battles for so long."

Vince gave her an angry look. There she went, making him think of things he'd rather leave dead and buried. Here came the need to stick his tongue into the sore and poke at it to see if it still hurt, over and over again. And of course it still hurt, time after time. Because if you kept poking it, picking at it and disturbing it then it would never heal. "None of this has anything to do with the song you wrote."

Gem tossed her head back and shrieked in pure frustration. "You are the singly most frustrating person I've ever met. I've just spent the last twenty minutes explaining to you how it was relevant to this situation, where the basis of it all came from. You not liking it doesn't make it any less true."

"To be honest I thought it was about me because of what happened the night you were home sick."

"What would that have to do with anything?"

"I thought you were mad that I never tried to finish what we started."

Gem blushed when reminded of the night Vince was talking about. It was imprinted in graphic detail in her memory and even now she could think back and imagine the look in his eyes when he'd looked at her that night. There'd been a consuming desire there to match the one she'd felt for him. She'd never seen such a look of hunger before, as much as she was sure it had been equally matched by her for him. She could sense from the onset he'd been fighting whatever it was he felt for her. There was something there. Too bad neither of them seemed sure if they wanted it or not.

In truth she'd been relieved he'd never expected the natural conclusion to the start they'd made. Once the heat of the moment had worn off she'd been unsure if she really wanted to get involved with Vince after all. As the conversation they were now having was showing, he really did have a lot of emotional baggage. It wasn't going to be put aside in a few days or weeks. He really should, by rights, be in counselling for his issues. Gem really didn't feel qualified to deal with him, to try and help him work through his problems. It was just too bad she didn't seem to be able to walk away from him either.

"I was curious but I guess I just figured you'd changed your mind." Gem stammered, very uncomfortable with the topic. She looked over at Barry's truck while she wanted for him to answer, unable to look directly at him.

He knew she was embarrassed. He was even perceptive enough to know she was-on some levels-afraid that once the heat of the moment was over he'd realized he didn't really want to be with her; that it had all just been the heat of the moment. So in short, he knew what he was about to say was a bad idea. Why he was going to say it anyway he didn't know, other than she'd made him so angry. So what if she was right? Didn't she know he didn't want to think about the things she'd brought up? Didn't she know how painful it was for him to think about it at all?

He knew the right course of action was to give in to the fact she was right, he was hiding from the world, hiding from the knowledge he should just get over the fact that his life then was not his life now but that his new life could be just as nice, even more rewarding when all was said and done and let the past go and just admit it all. Then to take the two steps that would have her within reach, take her close and let his cheek find the silky slide of her hair under it the way he wanted. To admit he wanted her in his new life or there wasn't any point starting a new life at all. Too bad he'd never been that smart.

"Well, I guess I had."

He turned around and walked over to his car. He fought the need clawing at him to turn around and see what she was doing now. Was she standing where he'd left her? Was she in her car? Was she crying? He almost lost his battle not to look but managed to get into his car without turning around. When he backed out and started out of the lot he had to drive by her car. She wasn't standing outside it anymore but he couldn't see her inside it either. Had she gone running into the bar to find her older friend?

What was done was done, Vince decided with a sigh as he turned out of the lot onto the road. He fought the need to slap his forehead with his hand. He knew he might as well start looking for a new place to live now, because as soon as Mia found out what he'd said she was either going to kill him or kick him out.

Truth told he wasn't sure he belonged in the house with the girls anyway. Gem was just going to be a constant temptation to him. If they were in the same house he was he wasn't going to be able to leave her alone. Something he was now sure she would want him to do. He'd made sure of that fact. So why wasn't he happier about it?

Mission accomplished, dumb ass.

Gem allowed her tears to come only after she got into her car and doubled over the steering wheel. Everyone smart enough to see the real situation was right. There was no way a guy like Vince could really be interested in a girl like her. She'd let the fact he always seemed like he needed someone to care about him lead her to believe that someone could be her.

She cried out her broken heart into her steering wheel for a few minutes before self preservation kicked in. The last thing she wanted was for Barry and Barbara to come out and find her still at the club. They'd know something was up as soon as they saw her. If they found her she'd have nothing but another hour of explaining to do before she could slink off to her bed to hide. That was all she wanted. She'd always felt the need to lick her deep wounds in private.

It was one of the things that made her a great liar, the way she could keep her emotions off her face. Then throw Vince into the mix and she couldn't keep the way she felt off her sleeve. She started the car and it sputtered to life. "You sound as bad as I feel." Gem said to her car as she put the transmission into drive. It clunked into gear with a loud noise. "You never did that before." Gem said apprehensively looking down at the little glowing letter D on her consol.

She let her foot off the brake, holding her breath. The car moved out of the spot slowly, just like it always did. Sputtering just a bit, sounding like it wasn't quite sure if it was going to live or die this time. She reached the gate of the parking lot and signalled left, pulling out slowly into the traffic.

One thing about L.A. that never ceased to amaze her was how busy it was almost all the time. It was two am on Thursday night but there were still people everywhere. Not that there weren't people out and about in her home town late at night, but in L.A. you'd almost say the nights were as hectic as the days. The only place the traffic thinned out was along the highway she had to take to get back to echo park. So in short the traffic thinned out when you least wanted it to. When you were driving along in the middle of no where was where there wasn't another soul around. Meaning if her car ever broke down along that stretch of road she'd have no choice but use her emergency cell phone and call for someone to come after her.

For right now she was still in Canoga Park proper however, and there were clubs all over the place still open. For the first time ever the lure of the alcohol easy way out called to her. She pulled into the next place that was still open she passed and parked the car. Glad for the fact Barry didn't do uniforms but let them wear their own clothes, she stepped out of her car and looked up at the neon sign advertising the name of her chosen establishment. After a minute of standing in the parking lot it occurred to her that her Honda was the only car in the parking lot.

It wasn't to say there was no one else around, because that wasn't the case. It was just that all the other modes of transport in the parking lot had two less wheels and three less seats.

She'd landed herself at a Harley club. "Maybe if you were more like the girls he's used to, the girls from that racing thing he use to do you'd have a chance. Your mama always said you were too nice for your own good. Nick use to have one of these things and he's a nice guy." He's also your brother. How crazy were you getting when you answered back to yourself? "How much different can it be from work? It's just another bar."

On that note she pulled the door open and walked in. There were nights when she found the Cobalt smoky. It was nothing compared to this. You could cut the purple haze in the air with a knife it was so thick. Everyone in the joint, including the women, seemed to be drinking beer directly out of the bottle. Those not drinking beer were drinking shots and the only bottles of liquor behind the bar were labelled Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker on a red label, Johnny Walker on a black label and Jose Cuervo. Of course the obligatory bottles of cheap rum and vodka were suspended over the bar, allowing shots to be easily dispensed.

Gem was betting they didn't sell red wine in this bar. She started over toward the neon lit center of the club. As she walked across the expanse of dirty floor between the establishment door and the bar she fought against her need to turn tail and run right back out the door. She refused to be a coward. She had decided to get drunk in this bar and get drunk she would. With a deep breath for courage she finished the trip to the bar. She felt like she could feel every eye in the place on her.

She leaned on the bar before the look of the bar made her rethink that decision and she stood back a fraction away from it. She looked around once again. Most of the women were wearing belly baring cropped tops with various motorcycle logos on them. A lot of the men had bushy beards and long hair, although there were many clean cut, younger men too. It was clear that some of the young women were hanging off the older men just for the status that position afforded them. There were also a few couples around the room that were obviously truly in love.

That wasn't to say there weren't a few single men and women around, because there were. Gem felt woefully inadequate next to the made up perfection of the other women. There were a great number of women with shockingly blonde hair and heavily applied make up. While there were a few more 'normal' looking girls Gem still felt very out of place. She was the most subdued dresser, hair stylist, and make up artist in the whole bar.

The bartender finally noticed her. "What can I getcha?"

"Um, what would you recommend to someone who normally drinks red wine?" Gem looked up, uncertainty clouding her eyes.

"Nothing we got little lady. 'Fraid everything we got is a bit stronger than that."

"Ok then gimme a shot of whatever Jose Cuervo is."

"You sure?"

"Um hum." Gem answered, biting her bottom lip. The bartender poured her shot and set it in front of her. "How much?"

"On the house this time." The entertainment of watching her drink tequila for the first time was worth a few shots.

With a shrug she tossed down the shot. She promptly started to cough. The leather clad gentleman closest her started to thump her back. "First time with hard liquor sweetheart?"

Gem could only nod, her eyes watering. When she thought she could speak she cleared her throat first. "I normally don't drink to get drunk."

"What changed your mind tonight?"

"A man."

"Figures." The man signalled to the bartender to rack up another round of shots. "Here. Take a deep breath first, try to just let it slide down."

"Ok, here goes." Her second attempt was just as disastrous as the first. As her new friend patted her back she continued to cough. "Maybe I'll try one of those Corona things next."

"Ok."

While the beer didn't make her cough it did make her wrinkle her nose in distaste. "How does Vince down these like water? That is so gross."

"Stick to the hard stuff sugar. Try the Johnny Black." One of the older women said as she walked up.

"Ok." The bartender handed over the shot of scotch. Gem downed it. She was starting to feel very detached from her nose, for some reason. She tried to touch it and missed, almost poking herself in the eye. The drinks didn't burn like they had as they slid down her throat anymore either.

There wasn't a person in the bar who didn't wonder how the naive blonde had ended up in their bar. As they all gathered around to listen to her someone finally asked the question that had the whole sad tale pouring forth from Gem's lips.

"So then he drove away and I had to leave before Barry came out and I was still sitting there because he would have had to know all about it and I didn't want to tell him so I left but then I decided because Vince is always getting drunk to forget his troubles that maybe I would and this was the first open bar after I decided." Gem's habit of babbled over explaining things got worse, not better, while she was drunk.

"You work at the Cobalt." One of the men offered as the realization dawned on him. Barry was an old friend. He wondered if the old dude still had his Harley stashed in a barn someplace.

"Yes I do. So I came in here to get drunk."

"Well sweetheart, I think you managed." Some of the guys shared a smile over how very intoxicated their new, young charge was.

"Well my brother Nicky use to have a motorcycle before he went into the air force."

"I don't know how to tell you this Miss Gem but we're about to close."

"Oh that's ok. I should get home before Mia worries about me. It must be three am already."

"It's gone past that a bit sugar. It's four."

"Four? I've been here for two hours already? I have to go." Gem stood up and walked unsteadily toward the door. The guys watched her go, trying to get her keys out of her pocket.

"Someone has to go after her. We can't let the little bit drive in the shape she's in. She's so drunk she doesn't even know she's drunk."

"I say we all run her home and teach that Vince punk a lesson about nice girls and how you treat them."

"I just know someone has to take her."

"Let's go." The man affectionately known as Big Al stood up from his stool. He was the leader of their particular chapter. The whole club filed out of the bar behind Gem.

"We decided we can't let you drive home." One of the other men said as he walked up to Gem.

"That's good because I don't remember which of these keys is for my car." Gem said as she held up her keychain by the tag. "I'm going to be sick tomorrow aren't I?"

"Yeah." The biker said with a smile.

"Thought so." Gem said with a resigned look on her face.

"Ok, I want you to put this on." He handed over a helmet to Gem. She pulled the little bowl helmet on over her hair. The clean cut biker who handed it over had to do up the chin strap for her. "Ok, now get on the back seat there."

"I can't ride this thing."

"Your sole responsibility is to sit there behind me and hang on. Can you do that?"

"I think so." Gem swung her leg up to get it over the saddle of the bike and promptly almost fell over. Luckily the bike's owner broke her fall.

"Easy sweetheart. Here we go." He held Gem steady while she found a comfortable seat on the bike.

"What about my car. I can't leave it here all night."

"I'll be fine here sweetheart. No one will disturb it." He pulled a vest out of the luggage compartment of the Harley bike and put it on. The front had some insignias on it and his name.

"Eddie." She read. "What does all the other stuff stand for?"

"Well, MC is motorcycle club."

"What about the 81?"

"Come back and ask me again sometime when you're sober. You wouldn't get it right now." Eddie told her, chuckling.

"Ok."

"Ok, let's get you home." Eddie mounted his bike and the rest of his friends joined him. They all started up their bikes and the roar was deafening. Gem had given them her address and they roared off down the road toward her house.

"I just don't know where she could be. She's never this late getting home." Mia said as she wrung her hands in the living room. Vince watched her pace from his favourite chair. He was too chicken to let Mia in on the reasons why Gem might not want to come home. He was just as worried about why she actually hadn't made it as Mia was.

"I don't know either Mia. If she's not home in another few minutes we'll drive toward the club and look for her." To say he felt like the lowest piece of crap on planet earth in that moment was a sad understatement. What if something had happened to her? It would be all his fault, for not only putting her into such a state but leaving her alone that way.

"I'm just so worried."

A low rumbling noise started out in the distance but rapidly moved closer. Mia crossed to the window of the living room. She simply stood there in her house coat for a moment before one of her hands flew to her throat. "Ohmygod."

"What? What is it?" Vince asked as he jumped up.

"A group of men in leather on motorcycles have Gem."

Vince joined Mia in the window. Sure enough about thirty odd guys on bikes were pulling up out front of the house. Most of the doubly occupied ones had leather clad women on the backs. However, one of them had Gem. Vince watched as the large male in front of Gem got off his Harley and helped Gem dismount off the back of his bike.

Vince fought back a snarl. If it was just the one guy he'd already be out there with swollen knuckles. He'd owned a motorcycle once and he remembered how personal it was to ride with someone.

Her arms had been around that guy the whole way home from where ever. She might have had her cheek pressed to his back, her legs pressed behind his. Didn't that motorcycle riding asshole know that Gem was his?

No she's not, you told her you didn't want her to be.

It was just because of what she made me think, what she made me feel. It wasn't real.

You didn't tell her that.

He pulled open the front door as Gem and her apparent new friend came up the walk. The vest wearing man was practically carrying Gem.

"Does this young lady live here?" The man, whose vest proclaimed him Eddie, asked.

"Yes she does." Mia cried as she rushed forward. "Where did you find her?"

"She spent some time drowning her sorrows in our club this evening. We didn't have the heart to put the poor little thing out after her story. Some asshole broke her little heart tonight." Eddie smiled at Mia. "I'd put her to bed with a bucket if I was you. We gave her quite a few shots of tequila and whiskey before we found out she'd never had hard liquor before."

"Oh dear." Mia frowned. "Well thank you so much for bringing her home."

"No problem. When she's feeling better you tell her she can come see us any time. We have a bike run coming up and she's more then welcome to ride with me if she'd be interested in coming along."

Mia looked from Eddie to Vince. There was a not so subtle undercurrent running between the two large men. What role had Vince played in Gem's big night?

"You tell her too, that if she has any more trouble with what we talked about tonight she should just come let her buddy Eddie know because I'll take right good care of it for her."

"Ok. Thanks again." Mia answered and Eddie turned to leave. Mia shut the door, still feeling the waves of tense anger pouring off Vince. A few moments later they heard a roar as thirty motorcycles started up out front of their house.

"The Hells Angels. Gem stumbled on the Hells Angels. Great." Vince sighed.

"It felt like Eddie was threatening you." Mia's eyes narrowed as she speculated, showing she already knew too much for comfort but not enough to satisfy her.

Vince ran a hand through his already mussed hair. "About that." He sighed as he trailed off and looked at his bare feet.

"What did you do?" Mia asked, her voice raised in anger. Gem picked that moment to become conscious again.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

She did look a bit green, Vince mused. He realized he knew that look. Oh shit! He scooped Gem up and ran up to the bathroom. She was violently ill. While she was heaving Vince held her hair back out of her face and when he thought she was done for a moment he took one of her elastics and clumsily tied her hair back out of the way.

"So, Johnny Black and tequila huh?" He asked on a sigh as he watched Gem try not to cry from her position sitting on the floor.

"Well, getting drunk to forget works for other people so." Gem stopped with a shrug and then shuddered.

"I thought we'd already agreed I was stupid and selfish."

"You left off a mean, bastard jerk."

"Yeah, I guess I did. Listen, I owe you some things, namely an apology and an explanation, but for now I think you should just go to bed. Mia can help you change and we'll put the bucket beside your bed."

Gem nodded. Vince had to help her up and to her room. "Ok, I'll get Mia."

"No." Gem flopped onto the bed. "Too much moving. Too much effort."

"You can't keep your shoes on all night." Vince said as he reached down to pull them off her feet.

"Ok, the shoes can go." Gem tossed an arm over her eyes to block out the ceiling light. She felt her socks follow her shoes onto the floor.

Vince looked over at the door of the room and saw Mia had finally followed him up the stairs. She was leaning on the door frame watching him with a look of total disgust on her face. She'd heard enough to know that Vince was behind yet another fallout in the house. Vince tried to motion Mia into the room so she could help Gem with the rest of her clothes. Mia shook her head. Vince crossed the room to her.

"Help me out here and at least help her into something more comfortable."

"You made the mess, why don't you clean it up for a change?"

"She's your friend. Do you honestly think she wants me helping her right now?"

"I guess that is something that you and her need to work out. Good luck." Mia turned around and crossed the hall to her own room, shutting the door firmly behind her. Vince turned back to Dom's room with a sigh. No, Gem's room, he reminded himself.

As he walked back into the room he heard Gem groan. He sighed as he crossed back over to her side.

All your fault. Just like so many other fuck ups.

All he could do was try to make her comfortable for the night. He knew from experience there was no sense talking to her while she was still inebriated. There was no talking to him. Of course he was a mean drunk, always had been. It was why he knew it was lucky for Brian Mia had intervened the night Dom had brought him home. Because if she hadn't he would have done away with 'the buster' for good. Leon and Jesse always just egged him on. It fell to Mia and Dom to be the voice of reason. Letty was just as bad as Leon when it came to watching fights not stopping them.

"Ok, come on, sit up." Vince tried to sound friendly and encouraging.

"Why?" Gem asked petulantly.

"So I can help you change out of your clothes. Mia says you can't sleep like that."

"I don't intend to sleep. I intend to pass out." Gem answered, opening her eyes into slits.

"Ok, before you pass out you need to change. Come on, you'll 'pass out' better."

Gem sat up with a groan. "Ok, just leave and I'll change."

"How 'bout I turn my back and let you try to change on your own? Then, should something go wrong I'll still be right here."

"Whatever."

Vince turned his back to the room and Gem got slowly out of her bed and made her way unsteadily to her dresser. She got out a pair of her shorts and a tank top and changed quickly as she could. She felt like she was moving through water, her movements felt sluggish and uncoordinated.

"You decent yet?"

"Yeah." Gem answered as she started back to her bed carefully.

"Ok, just get in bed and when you wake up things'll look better."

"Ummmmm." Gem made a non-committal noise as she allowed Vince to help her under her sheets and lay down, pulling her pillow under her head.

"Night." Vince said as he started toward the door and turned out the light.

"V?"

"Yeah?" He asked from the doorway.

"Why did you say what you said? Is it true?"

Vince sighed as he felt his shoulders slump, his frame silhouetted by the hall light showed his hanging head and stooped posture. To the girl in the bed he was nothing but a dejected outline of black against the light from the hall. "I think we should wait until tomorrow to have this discussion."

"I'd rather know now." Gem replied in a soft, thready voice.

Vince crossed back over to the side of her bed and sat on the edge. He sighed tiredly. How could he explain what had happened, what he'd said? How he really felt. He wasn't someone who talked about their feelings, who had to share every little thing with someone else.

He might have told Gem his background story but he'd largely left how he'd felt about the events out. He just didn't talk about feelings. "You sure you're gonna remember this tomorrow? I won't tell it twice."

"I'll remember."

"I didn't mean it."

"Than why did you say it?"

"Because you made me mad when you said all that other stuff."

"Why?"

"Because you were right. You were right about almost all of it and it hurt. You made me think about things I didn't want to think about and because I was hurting I retaliated against you to make you hurt."

Gem yawned. "That's not the smartest thing I ever heard." She was still feeling the effects of the liquor enough not to moderate her speech. She settled down farther into her bed, pulling the blankets up around her head.

"I'm not the smartest guy you ever met either."

"I think you try to convince people you're not smart so they don't expect too much from you."

Vince reeled at her incite. There she went again, making him think about things she'd rather leave alone. "Maybe I do." He brushed a stray chunk of her hair back out of her face. "I think you should go to sleep now."

"Mmmm." She replied.

"'Night." He leaned down and kissed her forehead softly and moved to stand up. He thought better of it after a moment and turned back to Gem. "Would you mind if I stayed here for a little while, to make sure you're ok?"

"No." Gem answered, already half asleep.

Kicking off his shoes Vince lay back on the bed, lying on top of the sheets of her bed. He didn't intend to sleep there, just to stay for an hour or so to make sure Gem was going to be ok.

Half an hour after Mia had told Vince to handle his own issues she cautiously opened her own door. The hall light was still on. She walked into the hall and crossed to the open door of Gem's room. She peaked in and promptly did a double take.

Vince was asleep in Gem's room, one arm thrown carelessly over Gem as he lay curled up behind her, both of them asleep. With a soft smile Mia closed the bedroom door and turned off the hall light before returning to her own room and falling back into the sleep of the righteous. She'd been right to make Vince clean up his own mess for once.

Vince woke up early on Friday slightly disorientated as to where he was. Why was it sunny? He lived in the basement. There wasn't a lot of sun to be found in his room. He realized he was in Gem's room right around when he realized he'd slept in all his clothes. That was why there was sun. He was upstairs and because Gem hadn't exactly been thinking when she'd gone to bed no one had remembered to close the curtains.

He looked down at Gem. She was still asleep and Vince had a funny feeling she was going to wish she never woke up again when she finally did. Before he went to get ready for work he set a glass of water and two aspirin on the nightstand beside the bed with a note that said 'take me'.

He couldn't help but think even after they'd talked a bit last night his peace offering was going to be too little too late. She'd been more upset than he'd even realized to go out and drink the way she had. She wasn't the kind of person who drank for more than social reasons. She had her good reasons he knew, and it only drove it home even more sharply how badly he'd upset her and thrown her off balance with his hasty, cruel words.

He'd been hiding behind his bad temper for a very long time and he wasn't finding it easy to let it go. But he knew it was a shield, just like letting Dominic pick his fights had been and just like his dumb act still was. He used a lot of devices to avoid reality and dealing with the tribulations that tended to come with it. But ultimately who was he helping? Not himself. Not really. Not his friends, or his family. What was left of it that was.

Maybe if he made an honest effort to change Gem would forgive him and the girls wouldn't force him out of their lives. Perhaps Gem was right and Mia didn't really need him anymore but thinking Mia did need him was one of the only things keeping him going most days.

He ran down to his room, took a quick shower and got dressed hastily. He was out the door headed toward the shop inside of half an hour and he arrived a few minutes early. He wasn't ready to look too hard at what he was running away from. As he pushed into the shop he was greeted by Cory and Bill calling good morning. No matter how often he told them they didn't need to be in until eight they still showed up by seven thirty. How he'd managed to find two young people who really loved the work he'd never know.

It was almost like having Letty and Jesse to work with again. Leon liked his job but the simple fact was Leon was just too damn mellow and even tempered to get all that excited about going to work. He just got up and went because it was easier than not and because he likely enjoyed the company. Letty and Jesse however loved their jobs in the shop. It showed in how very good at the work Jesse had been. He'd had a real knack for designing and building cars that worked better than expected no matter how off the wall the mish mash of parts seemed.

No engine they'd built since they'd lost Jesse had turned out quite as well as they had before. Cory was one hell of a smart kid, and with a little work he'd be really good at what he did. But he still wasn't Jesse. And he never would be.

Vince even knew it wasn't fair to wish he was Jesse or try to change him to be more like him. Cory was Cory. He was good at what he did. It was just that what he did was different from what Jesse did and Vince missed Jesse more than he ever let on to anyone. Jesse had been the goofy little brother to Vince's tough older brother and he knew Jesse had looked up to him. He'd been about the only one who had.

Bill was older than Cory and he didn't have the vision Cory did for new and innovative concepts. Cory was unique, he could see ahead to the big picture of what a build could be. Bill was a steady, dependable worker. He wasn't into the import racing scene as much as Cory was, and even Vince still was in a lot of ways. But he'd worked for a number of years at a few different dealerships and he really knew his way around a car. Bill reminded Vince of no one from his previous life. If he had to pick someone Bill was close to he'd pick Leon, just because it took a lot to get either of them going and both were dependable and team oriented.

"Hey C." Cory called as Vince walked into the shop area from the waiting room.

"Hey." Vince said back as he walked over to the rack on the wall containing all the pending jobs. "Anything come in to do yet?"

"Some guy named Hector called and said he wants you to look at his Civic. He's coming by later. Other than that, just a few oil changes so far. But it's Friday so you know it'll pick up soon. Just wait 'til people realize they could be racing tonight, but only if their cars are in peek shape."

"I figure you're right. Fridays are normally pretty steady." Vince said as he picked up the keys to one of the cars waiting for a oil, lube and filter and went to the lot to swing it in. Just another day of one monotonous job after another. He missed the days where Friday afternoon would have been more about the team getting their cars ready for racing than about helping riced out losers attempt to win against people who put in their own wrench time.

"Say C?"

"Wha?" Vince looked up at Cory from his position under the car he was working on.

"I got the 300zx done last night. I'm gonna test run it after work. You comin over?"

"Hell yeah. You finished it last night?"

"Yeah. It started up. I figure we might need to do some last minute tuning once it's running but other than that it's done."

"That's great." Vince finished what he was doing under the car and rolled out from under it. He patted Cory on the back.

"Yeah, and since I won't be needing it anymore you can have your Silvia back." Cory looked like he thought this was a great thing. Maybe it would be a great thing if it had been his car and was missing it.

Vince didn't know what he was going to do with Letty's car. He'd given it to Cory on loan while the kid had been rebuilding his older brother's wrecked 300zx. Now Cory was giving it back. That meant he'd have Dom's RX-7, Letty's Silvia, Jesse's Jetta, and Leon's Skyline. All of them like orphaned children with no one to love them and drive them. He had to go sit down as he finally accepted the fact that he couldn't hold on to all the cars forever. There was no point.

His friends were not coming back. If they planned on it they would have done it by now. If they ever did it would likely be years in the future and the cars would be ruined from sitting unused for so long. Letting go of those cars wasn't going to be easy. There were so many memories tied up in each one. Each of the team's cars was so personal it was just like an extension of the owner.

Dom's 93 RX-7 R1 touring. A present from his father the year he turned seventeen. They'd spent so many hours over that car together, learning to tune, learning rotaries, learning about life. The best teacher of patience in a man was rebuilding a rotary engine in a hurry to make that weekend's races and on the first turn of the key listening to the thing cough and sputter as it refused to start, as if saying fuck you pal, you wanna rush me than you can just fuckin rebuild me again!

Dom's father had taken them to their first drags in that car. Dom had raced it in the open drag youth classes before he'd ever taken to the streets, all under this father's guidance and with his full permission. It had been a different car back then, back before Dom had the coin to afford Veilside body kits and Veilside rims.

They'd decided to open DT precision automotive because of building that car. They never knew, as they made big plans over the 13-rew engine revealed by the open hood that they'd open it sooner than they ever thought, closing Mr. Toretto's shop after his death to do so.

Letty's Silvia. Well, Silvia conversion. What had started out modestly as a little 240sx had expectations of grandeur and realized them, ending up as a full s14 Silvia conversion, right down to the strawberry headlights and SR20DET engine. Little Letty Rodriguez wanted that car more than almost anything in the world. And so, of course, when it got to the point that Dominic wanted little Letty more than almost anything in the world he bought the car for her. Dropped an SR20DET into it for her and made sure she could race just a well as any of the guys.

Letty'd gone from being the annoying tag along to a valuable ally while they were working on cars. She had little hands and arms that seemed to be able to snake into the most unlikely places that a grown man's hands and arms couldn't get. She was almost as strong as him and Leon anyway. Vince couldn't count how many 'lost' wrenches, sockets and parts her girlie little hands had retrieved for him from the inside of fenders and down behind battery boxes. He couldn't recall how many skanks had found out the hard way her girlie little hands held a man sized punch either.

It had always fallen to him to look out for Letty. At first Dom was too upset over the attention Mr. Toretto gave her and how good she was in the shop to want her around and then he'd been too busy pretending that same thing. Letty hadn't come from much at home and Vince had known someone had to look out for her. She didn't have a brother like Dom to do it, not like Mia. Maybe that was why he'd always thought he was in love with Mia. She didn't need him to be her brother, not like Letty, so he didn't see himself in that light when it came to Mia. Letty was a different story. There had been a few times in the past where Dom had finally crossed a line and Vince had had to deal with things. Dom knew he could push his relationship with Letty so far and Vince would mind his own business. But there was a line Dom couldn't cross and the few times he'd crossed it anyway Vince had sure let him know it.

It had taken Dom long enough to see how right for him Letty would be and even once he had he sure hadn't treated her like he knew how special she was half the time. She'd always been like a little sister to Vince. Some times he wasn't sure if he missed Dominic more or if it was Letty he really missed. She'd known him so well. She always knew just when to let a subject drop and when, even though he was grumbling about it, he really wanted to keep talking and get it out.

Of course it wasn't really Dom who'd taught Letty to race. Not really. He tried to teach her just enough while making it look like he wanted her to be really good. But he hadn't. She might have threatened his position as top dog and leader then. But Vince had made sure his little sister could hold her own. Dom never even knew. They kept it a secret in the long run, knowing it would make life easier all around.

Leon's Skyline. A living legend in his shed. Not just because it was a Skyline, which was special enough, but because it was Leon's Skyline. The bright yellow paint and green eyed warior on the side making it instantly recognizable as that Skyline. Leon had a sizeable reputation when he'd decided to come meet Dom. Granted, he'd gotten it in New Mexico, Arizona and Nevada not in California but he still had a name for himself. He hadn't gotten and hung onto something like a Skyline by not knowing how to race.

So why than had he basically given it up to work for Dom and be 'that guy who's always on the radios'? Because Leon hadn't had a family in so long he wasn't even sure how real families worked anymore when he'd arrived at the house one night for a party. To Leon, being in the middle of a family was more important than racing any day. He still had his car, he still got to race and work on cars all day long too. But it was understood. He might know he could beat Dom, and Dom might know it too, but it was never to happen. Ever. It was an unspoken rule, but a rule all the same.

That was just how Dom was. He was top dog and no one in his circle better forget it. The one time Vince had decided to race him after they'd had a fight, and managed to beat him none the less, Dom hadn't spoken to him for seven days. He'd taken it very badly. Vince just attributed it to his need to control every situation and had let it go. After Dom had started talking to him again that was.

Vince had thought about parking his car and driving the Skyline for a long time but in the end he couldn't do it. He figured it was for the same reason he really didn't want to clean and pack Leon's stuff. It was still Leon's car. It wouldn't be right to just start driving the car without Leon's permission. Never mind he didn't have a clue where his friend was or if he was ever coming back. Or if they were even still friends, when it all came down to brass tacks. It still just didn't seem right to start driving the car without being told it was ok. He didn't know how he was going to bring himself to sell any of the cars if he couldn't even bring himself to drive them without being told he could.

He'd been left to watch over them without so much as being asked if he minded. Why shouldn't he drive any of them any time he wanted to? It was that logic that had allowed him to lend Cory Letty's car. Letty wasn't around to ask, and there wasn't any sense letting the car go to waste. Besides, of all his friends he knew Letty would be the most reasonable about it. She'd know he wouldn't give her car to anyone who would mistreat it. Besides, she'd always had a soft spot for strays. It showed in her relationship with Jesse and Leon.

Last but not least he still had Jesse's Jetta, perfectly restored with his own two hands. It wasn't really Jesse's anyway. It was his father's. Vince knew he'd be holding onto that one until Jesse's father came to collect the last memento he'd ever have of his only son. Vince had told himself the least he could do for the man was give him the car back in drivable condition, not as a constant reminder of the bullets which had ripped into Jesse's heart and lungs, killing him on the sidewalk over a stupid car race.

So he'd fixed the Jetta himself just as soon as he'd been able physically. He refused all offers of help, fixing the Jetta being something he'd had to do alone. They'd all failed Jesse so badly that fixing up the car wasn't enough. Nothing ever could be. Instead of finding their friend they'd gone on a chase after money. Money might be nice in theory but in reality the pursuit of it ruined more than it fixed. The only exception to the rule had been when he'd allowed Mia to put the graphics back onto it. That had seemed fitting, as it had always been Mia who'd applied the team's decals. She had the gentle touch and patient hands needed to do the job without scratching the perfectly glittering paint under the vinyl. She had the patience to make sure the finish was perfectly cool and clean before starting.

The only ride missing from the picture was the Supra. He'd heard from rumours here and there that Brian had given the Supra to Dom rather than let Dom be caught by the cops. Brian had disappeared right after, before he had to tell his story to his superiors. He was still a fuckin punk, but slightly less of one. It didn't matter anyway because he'd fallen off planet earth after he'd handed over his keys. There'd been some news story that went national, out of Miami, that had literally smacked of the buster and his style but names were never mentioned, as cop names rarely were. All that was said was some fancy driving and quick thinking on the parts of two under cover officers had ensured one Carter Verone wouldn't be on the streets to peddle his drugs for some time to come.

So now he had four very nice cars that for obvious reasons he both didn't want to see the taillights of, and didn't feel he had the right to dispose of. But he also knew holding onto the cars was both holding onto the past and not practical. Or healthy. It was keeping his head in the past when the future was what he should be concentrating on. He couldn't drive them all. He'd solved that issue for a long while for Letty's car but now it too was coming home to rest.

Maybe the cars were all tired. Maybe they were just as tired of the life as he was. It might be the best thing for all of them, cars and men, if they parted ways and each took new paths. But that was a line of bull shit and Vince wouldn't allow himself to think such sentimental thoughts. They were just cars. Very highly tuned, expensive pieces of machinery. They didn't care who owned them or why. He wouldn't ever tell Letty that though, as convinced as she was hers had a personality and name to go with it.

The whole issue needed further thought. As much as he already thought Gem was right, and the cars should go, it wasn't something he could just do. He'd have to think on it for longer than he already had and be very sure it was what he wanted before he made a move. It wasn't something he could undo if he changed his mind. Sold was sold. There was no undoing it.

With a heartfelt sigh he stood up and went back to his work. Yes, the issue needed a lot more thought indeed.

Gem woke up around eleven am. She came too with a groan and opened her eyes. She shut them again quickly as the sun filled them. Her head was splitting. True to her word she remembered every second of the night before. But it had this hazy quality like someone else had lived it and she'd watched. She tried opening her eyes again, making sure to keep them to a squint and saw the Aspirin and water on the nightstand. She sat up slowly, even the measured motion making her head swim, and took the pills, draining the water from the glass at the same time.

She leaned her head back against the headboard with a sigh. Her brush with alcohol hadn't made anything better. Not really. On second thought she couldn't really say that. She'd gotten Vince to admit he acted like a jack ass to hide his emotions from the world. That was something. She just wasn't sure it was something worth the horrible headache she'd ended up with over it.

Thinking perhaps a bath would make her feel better she stood up slowly and walked to the bathroom, dragging her feet and holding her head with one hand. When she was done she did feel better. She got dressed, picked up her note pad and pencil and wandered into the backyard to get a little sun and try to write something for her next song, her sun glasses firmly attached to her nose and ears.

As she lay on a lounge chair with a glass of lemonade at her elbow and the sun beating down on her she couldn't think of a single thing to write about. She knew she should have had lots to tell but she wasn't sure how to put any of it into words. She wasn't really sure how she felt about it either. There was also the little problem that she wasn't sure if she really wanted to share any of it. It still hurt too much, the pain was still too fresh. She knew writing about it would be like picking at it, keeping the sore open.

Should she let the wound heal? In the end it didn't matter because the scar would still be there to remind her the past was quite real, and had been no bad dream. She was the kind of person who liked rational conversations to solve problems. She wasn't really sure she understood Vince's need to hurt others rather than deal with his own issues. His need to avoid things instead of talking them out.

It was her nature to want to help him. It was also in her nature to try and save herself. She wasn't about to keep hanging out for heartbreak. There was going to come a point where she was going to have to just admit she had done what she could to try and put Vince back together and couldn't. At that point she knew she was going to have to move on with her own life.

What she was really scared of was, what if when that time came she was already too attached to just walk away? The deeper she got the less likely she was going to be to just up and walk away. What if she got use to dancing around issues and being around someone who couldn't be honest about his feelings? What if she changed who she was to accommodate a need she had to have him in her life? She already felt more real and alive when she was with him. Could she honestly afford to allow herself to grow accustomed to that feeling, as unstable as Vince was?

Sometimes it felt like she just couldn't be herself around him. The way she knew herself wasn't how she acted anymore. So she saw two explanations. Either she'd been deluding herself all along and how she was acting lately was how she really was, or the things she'd been feeling and coping with lately were making her act out of character.

She reclined farther back into her lounge chair and closed her eyes behind her sunglasses. Some time soon she was going to have to come to some sort of decision about the whole scenario. It wasn't a decision she was looking forward to making.

As the sun beat down on her warmly, the lemonade rehydrated her abused body and a cool breeze kept her from feeling too warm she drifted off into a deep sleep.

After returning from a lunch that had consisted of something quick and greasy from Fat Burger and was sitting like a rock in his stomach, Vince went back to work on the list of work, that as Cory had predicted, had slowly started to trickle in. Eating at Fat Burger had been a necessary evil to Vince. He knew he couldn't face Mia without leaving with blisters on his ass and a splitting headache so he avoided her. Call it cowardly if you wanted to but he wasn't in the mood to deal with Mia giving him the cold shoulder after her red hot tongue just yet.

She was going to be pissed off no matter how he looked at it.

"Hey homie!" Vince heard a jovial voice call from behind him.

He turned around to greet Hector with a manly handshake. "Hey man. How's it goin'?"

"Good, good. 'Cept the Civic's got somethin' goin' on. It has a nasty lag in fourth. My crew can't find the problem. It might be some sorta squirrelly electrical glitch."

"Only fourth?" Vince asked as they walked out to Hector's oddly coloured 'baby'.

"Yeah. I just don't get it man. Its fine in third, and when you hit fifth but fourth is where she really hits power band. But the power just ain't there. It's like there's no gas reaching the engine."

"I'll have Cory take it out and see if he has any ideas for you brotha."

"Great."

Vince tossed Cory the keys to Hector's car and gave him a brief idea what it was doing. Cory went off for a test drive and Vince and Hector walked back into the garage to get out of the mid afternoon heat.

"So, we never see you down town anymore Homes. What's up wit that?"

"Just don't see the point I guess. Not since the guys," Vince looked around as he sighed, "all went away."

"Doesn't mean you can't come say hello to some old friends Homes. You should swing by some time. Ever since Dom left there isn't anyone worth racin. Not with Letty gone too. You could come clean up. At least if I wasn't racin that is." Hector laughed and Vince joined him.

"I might take you up on that sometime Brotha. It's been a while. Car might need some work before she hits the streets again."

"Your car? Hell no V. I walked by it on the way in. That thing looks as cherry as the day you rolled it out of the shop after you finished the build."

"Thanks man. But I still don't run it quite as high intensity as I use to. Things have changed since last race wars."

"We all know that. I mean, everyone knows Dom, Letty and Leon took off and of course we all heard about Jesse, but that doesn't mean you can't come hang out with the old crowd every once in awhile. Roll up in the seven. That'll give the crowd a shock."

"I bet." Vince chuckled at the thought of rolling into the warehouse in Dom's ride. The crowd would go crazy. Until he got out of the car and they found out it was just Vince, not their king returning to his throne. "I'll think about it."

Cory burst back into the shop. He was like a constant ball of energy. He never did anything slowly, but rushed headlong into everything with a one track mind and short attention span. "You had an injector cutting out in fourth. I fixed it up already." Cory tossed Hector his keys.

"Thanks dude." Hector looked at Vince. "What do I owe you man?"

"Don't worry about it. Just do me this favour."

"What's that?"

"Keep a parking spot open for me tonight at the warehouse. Cory just finished his 300zx and we're taking it for a test ride later. I guess that means I need two spots."

"Sweet. You got it Homes! I'll see you there."

Hector took off out of the parking lot, his crowd of followers with him.

"You mean it C? We're going racing tonight? You're going to come too?"

"I guess so." Vince scratched at the back of his neck uncomfortably as he thought about it.

He wasn't sure he wanted to go, but on some levels thought he really should. Maybe it wouldn't be like he remembered. Maybe he wouldn't like it like he did before. Perhaps then he could let it go and forget all about it. He could become one of those people who had a nice, tuned, tricked out car just because he liked to have a fast car that looked unique and interesting.

Even as one part of his brain tried to sell that thought the vast majority of it was busily rejecting it. He knew the reason why he'd stayed away was because he knew he was going to like it just as much as he ever did if he ever went back. At least when he wasn't missing Letty, Leon and Dom. He knew he couldn't let Cory down. The one thing the kid wanted ever since he started working on his own car was for Vince to go with him to races once it was done.

He rolled under another customer's car trying to think of anything that would make the whole experience more bearable and less likely to send him rocketing back into memories of a past he'd never reclaim.

Gem woke up uncomfortably. As she opened her eyes she found out why. Mia was sitting on the end of her lounge chair, staring at her with a great deal of intensity. "Thought you were never going to wake up."

"Gosh, what time is it?" Gem sat up and stretched lazily.

"Five. Your boss called. He says he was talking to a couple old friends of his and heard about your big night. He figures you might as well stay home tonight. Oh, and that Eddie guy brought your car home. You been out here long?"

"Only about four hours. I'm glad the sun moves around the house by three. I'd be right back into being burned to a crisp."

"No kidding. You feeling better now? I bet you were sick when you woke up."

"Oh yeah. Thanks for leaving me the pain killers and water beside the bed. I really appreciated them when I woke up."

"That wasn't me. Musta been Vince."

"Oh." Gem coloured faintly thinking of Vince in her room while she slept.

"Yeah, he stayed up with you last night to make sure you were ok." Mia watched as Gem got progressively more embarrassed. "Don't worry about it. Turn about is fair play after all. I had to stay up enough times with him to make sure he was going to be ok. It's about time he got his." Mia grinned evilly.

"You see Vince today?" Gem questioned, trying to look uninterested in the answer. She was trying to fish for information, hoping to find out if Mia had tanned Vince's hide for whatever details about last night the darker girl had managed to glean. Or in other words if Vince was likely to come home in a fit of resentment figuring that Gem had 'gotten him into trouble' with Mia.

"No, he skipped out on having lunch with me. I figure he'd hiding from the lecture he knows he has coming his way." Mia's anger made her normally dark brown eyes light with an unholy gleam.

Gem was just starting to realize that at some point in time her friend had actually gotten off on antagonizing her brother's childhood pal. Now that she was feeling better, Mia was starting to rediscover her previous loves. "Try not to be too hard on him. I brought some of it on myself."

"I find that very hard to believe. But in any case, come into the house. You can help me get supper ready. We'll cook enough for V, just in case he's not too much of a coward to come eat it."

"Alright." Gem said as she stood up. She picked up her notebook, pen and glass and followed Mia into the house. She put her things away and allowed Mia to tell her what to do to get supper ready for the three of them. About half an hour into their preparations the phone rang. Mia was closer so she answered it.

"'llo?" Mia greeted the caller, almost sounding distracted. Of course she was still chopping vegetables. The caller must have said something in greeting as Mia paused a moment. Gem did her best to watch her friend unobtrusively.

"Where have you been today?"

Gem wondered if it could be anyone other than Vince once that question left Mia's mouth.

"I'm cooking dinner."

Mia wasn't pleased with whoever was on the other end that was for sure. Gem tried to remind herself it wasn't nice to be nosey but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to know who was on the other end of the call.

"Are you coming home to eat?" Again Mia paused to let the other person speak. Gem was now totally sure it was Vince. She wasn't sure if she was glad Mia had answered or upset she wouldn't get to talk to Vince to gauge where they stood. "So you will be home but it'll be late? Like how late?"

"Like six thirty or so Mia. Is that ok?" Vince asked as he cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear so both his hands were free to be washed. They'd just finished up all the customer work for the day and were getting ready to go to Cory's to give the car a once over. Mia answered his question. Vince wondered if Gem was home.

"So is Gem there or did she go to work."

"No, she's here." Mia answered. She lowered her voice. "Her boss knows the guys who brought her home last night. After he heard the shape she was in last night he called and gave her the day off. Why?"

"I promised Cory I'd go to his first race night with him and I can't back out. I'd like the two of you to come with me. If you think you'd like to."

"That actually sounds like fun." Mia answered.

Vince knew there was a time when she used to run with some of the girls off Hector's crew. Mostly when Letty wasn't in the mood to put up with Mia's girlie attitudes.

"Just do me this favour, make sure Gem's ready but don't tell her where we're going. I want it to be a surprise."

"Ok."

"I'll see you later then." Vince hung up and dried his hands on a towel which had, at one point in its life, been white but was now a very off grey colour. He made a mental note to buy a paper towel dispenser and do away with the scuzzy towel. He found Cory waiting out front beside the Maxima. "You ready?"

"Yeah. The Silvia be ok here?"

"Shit, I forgot about it. We'll just put it in the shop for the night." They took care of stowing Letty's car safely locked up in the building and then took off toward Cory's place. He didn't live that far from the Toretto house; only about 15 minutes.

They had a few beer and finished fine tuning Cory's car. The car was a 1991 Nissan 300zx twin turbo edition. Cory's brother had been in a bad wreck with it a few years before and from that point on had sworn off racing. He'd parked the car in his back yard under a tarp and basically forgot about it. That was until his little brother had gotten old enough to question big brother's decision to leave such a nice car smashed to bits rotting in the back yard. Cory had always had the racing bug, but he'd been bitten hard the summer he turned nineteen and he'd seen his brother's car as a quick and convenient stepping stone into the scene.

To say Chris, Cory's older brother, had been unimpressed by Cory's need to follow in his footsteps was an understatement. However, he'd given his wrecked vehicle to his brother, saying if he could get it back into black top running shape he could have it. Cory hadn't let the huge prospect daunt him. He'd tackled the project with Jesse like enthusiasm.

It took him the full two years since his brother's grudging offer to finish fixing the car. But it was finally fixed and looking pretty damn good if Vince did say so himself. Of course he'd spent a lot of nights before he headed to the Cobalt helping the younger man work on it. What Cory had in enthusiasm he couldn't always back up in common sense knowledge. That was where Vince came in. He had the years of experience to finish the build and find the nagging little issues one always had with a car that had been wrecked and rebuild just as bad as the Nissan had been wrecked.

Sometimes they both lacked the strength to do what had to be done. Cory was a slight young man and Vince didn't have half the muscle he had before his forced hospital stay. They'd had Bill help them on those rare occasions but mostly it was just the two of them. His lack of strength was something he was slowly rectifying ever since his night time journey with Gem. He actually missed the days when all his clothes fit and it sure had been easier to do his job when he wasn't as weak as some paper pushing office pansy too.

"Ok kid, I gotta split for home. I'll swing by here for you later and we'll head down."

"Sure C, see you then dude."

"Sure Brotha, see you then. Be ready for ten, ok?"

"I'll be ready by eight. I don't know how I'm gonna wait for you to come back."

Vince chuckled at Cory's excitement. He remembered back when the scene was fresh and racing was the most exciting thing in his life. "Wax your car again. That'll help it go faster."

Cory looked like he was believing that might work until he caught the shine of devilment in his older friend's blue eyes. "You're teasing."

"Yeah." Vince cuffed Cory on the back playfully. "I gotta split before I find my ass in a sling for being late to dinner."

"Sure dude. I'll be ready."

With a wave Vince took off for home. He rolled into the driveway and turned off his car. He just sat in the car a few moments, trying to gather his courage for the coming confrontation. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Gem. He was worried she'd still be upset with him, no matter how ok she'd seemed with him before she'd fell asleep. He was also worried that Mia would still be very mad at him too. He didn't want dinner to be too tense because he was sincerely hoping that he could manage to get Gem and Mia to go to races with him and Cory.

He wasn't sure why he wanted Gem to go with them. He thought it might have something to do with thinking of she saw the scene, felt the excitement and could find a small amount of that excitement in herself for racing as a sport she might just understand him and his life a bit better. Might find some empathy in her for Dominic and the trials and tribulations of his life.

Surely she would see just how far removed the street racing scene was from the sort of organized races seen on TV. If she saw all that Dominic had lost she might just understand why he'd latched onto any source of control in his life.

He knew Dom was everything Gem accused him off being. But he was a lot of other, positive things too. It was just that when you only heard about him from someone who he'd abandoned you got a negatively biased view of the man. Vince knew he talked a lot of smack about his former best friend, but he felt like he was mostly entitled, having been left-as far as Dominic had known at least-to take the blame for what they'd been up to on solely by himself. Add to that the fact that Mia was shattered her much loved and idolized older brother had never returned for her and you could see where Gem would hear enough negative things about Dom to fill a large novel. Vince knew it would have torn Mia just as badly to choose between leaving him all alone and going with Dominic but in the end she would have run off with her brother. But Dom had never given her the choice. He'd just left her like so much excess baggage.

Yeah, they all had their reasons that justified them being pissed at Dom, but that was just based on what he'd done under duress, not on how he'd lived his whole life up 'til now. But trying to explain that to Gem, who'd only ever seen the aftermath and heard the stories of what a dickhead Dom could be wasn't easy. With a sigh he tossed open the car door and stood up, dragging up the walk and into the house. He noted Gem's car was home with a growl. The punks with the bikes must have brought it. He didn't want that man in Gem's life ever again. Not that he had a right to say anything about it.

As he closed the front door behind himself he sniffed the air appreciatively. Something smelled really good. There went his plan of simply inhaling some food over the sink and slinking off to his room to hide in private until it was time to go to races. If Mia and Gem had taken the time to cook a nice meal he'd have to take the time to sit down and properly eat it.

He walked into the kitchen, looking around on alert for flying pottery. None was forthcoming. "Hey." He said to Mia and Gem, who were sitting at the table together, talking.

"Hey." Mia said. "Go get cleaned up, supper's ready."

"Ok." He looked at Gem. She felt his gaze and looked up to meet it. "Hey." He repeated himself softly, looking for any signs she was about to blow up or brush him off.

"Hi." She answered back tentatively.

"How're you feelin'?" Vince took a few steps her direction.

Mia, sensing the mood, the tension, took herself off to 'use the facilities'.

"Ok. Largely thanks to you I hear. Thank you for the Aspirin."

"No sweat. I guess we all know I know what it's like to wake up hung over." Vince managed a very self depreciating smile. "It was the least I could do after everything."

Gem looked down at the table top. She wasn't really sure what to say back to that. She agreed with him, but also felt like she brought some of the whole thing on herself. She should have known a man like him wouldn't have that much interest in her. She should have known all along it was just the situation they had been placed into, not some actual attraction to her on his part. Since she didn't have words she simply shrugged while looking at the table.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Vince asked as he finished his trip to the table and pulled out the chair kitty corner to Gem, sitting down. "It's ok if you're still mad at me. I was a total asshole."

"It's my fault too. I shouldn't have taken you so seriously. I knew all along that there was no way you were going to be really interested in-"

When it was clear where her statement was going Vince cut her off. "When I said I only said that shit to you for revenge I meant it. Don't go reading more into it. Half the reason I was so pissed off was because I thought the reason why you never came lookin' for me was because you realized you could do a hell of a lot better." He didn't know how it was just being around her made him admit things out loud he didn't even like to think about in the first place.

His statement made her head snap up. "You think I realized I could do better than you?"

"You could. I got no future better'n the one you see me livin every day kid. I got no education better'n the one I picked up from Dom's father in the garage. Fuck, I'm lucky I graduated high school. I got no manners and the only things I can do is drive big rigs and fix cars. I cuss too much, I drink too much, I got too much ink and drive too fast. You deserve someone with a brighter future than I'll ever have."

He was so down on himself. Gem didn't know how one person could give off such an air of self confidence and be so at odds to that image inside, where it counted. He was just as insecure about himself as she was about herself. It was sobering to realize just how far above himself he'd placed her. She wasn't the perfect person to be placed on a pedestal he seemed to think.

"What's that saying you car types have?" Gem thought a second as she watched Vince try to come up with an answer to her question. "I'm no trailer queen, V. I'm not made to be admired from afar, seen but never touched, displayed but never driven. I want to live my life in the full spectrum of all it has to offer. I'm just a person. Just like you. I have my own flaws, my own faults and insecurities. I'm just as good at hiding them as you are. Perhaps we'd really make a perfect pair. It sounds almost like we deserve each other."

Vince chuckled. "So, you think you can forgive me for last night then?"

"I know I'd like to try." And it was true. Because if she couldn't then she'd have to leave. That meant leaving Mia, the neighbourhood, and most of all the Cobalt because she wouldn't even be able to see Vince there if she wasn't allowed to have him in her life.

"Good, after supper I want you to go get dressed up. Mia'll help you out. I'm takin you girls out tonight."

"Where?"

"Surprise. There's just something I wanna show you."

"Alright." She capitulated easily, much to Vince's shock. She was one of the most forgiving people he'd ever met. Mia would be busy pretending nothing from yesterday had happened, all while giving him dirty looks and being frosty to him.

"I'm gonna go get cleaned up quick before we eat."

Gem nodded as Mia came back into the kitchen.

Gem knew Vince had missed the tears in her eyes but she didn't. Mia had heard every word. Gem didn't know if she was crying for the broken state Vince was truly in or for what Gem had said, or both for that matter, but it didn't matter. The way Vince dogged on himself made her want to cry too. He had a way of making her anger dissipate like water poured onto hot tarmac just by being honest with her for a few minutes. With a wordless understanding Gem crossed the kitchen to Mia's side and the two embraced, holding on tight.

Maybe she hadn't been after a project relationship or putting someone as broken as Vince back together, but Mia was right. The results if she managed were going to make every effort, every tear, every yelled word worth it in the end.

Before Vince could return and catch them being all sappy the two girls pulled apart and sniffled, drying their eyes while grinning at each other. No matter what, Vince being that honest about something he was feeling without cussing or yelling was progress.

Supper was a light hearted affair. They all seemed to take the attitude that they wanted to put the unpleasantness behind them. Gem tried teasing and cajoling information about where he was taking them out of Vince but he wouldn't bite. Even Mia, who Gem was sure, knew more than she was letting on wouldn't answer any of her questions. It was frustrating. But Vince was so adorable as he was secretive Gem had to let it go. She threw herself on his mercy with gusto.

She and Mia cleaned up after while Vince went to do something in the yard. Once the kitchen was clean Mia dragged Gem up the stairs to get ready.

"So, what am I supposed to wear?" Gem asked as Mia pushed her into her room.

"We'll need to look through what you have before we can decide. First things first." Mia's hand reached out and snatched the elastic out of Gem's hair. "Sit down. I'll be a while with your hair."

"What do you plan to do to it?"

"Nothing, really." Mia answered noncommittally and forced Gem down into her chair. She made sure Gem couldn't see in the mirror before she got started. She sprayed Gem's hair down with some water and combed it out. Then a pair of scissors came out of her back pocket. Gem saw them move toward her head.

"Oh no you don't. I don't want a hair cut."

"I'm just going to trim it. Wait and see. You'll like it with some layers."

"I like it just fine the way it is. It's been this style since high school."

"No kidding. It shows. You need to update your style some. Does my hair look bad?"

"No."

"Well, that's what I'm going to do to yours."

"I'm not you."

"Could you just trust me?"

"Ok." Gem gave in with a sigh. "But I want it mostly the same length when you're done and I still want to be able to tie it up."

"Not a problem."

Gem squinted her eyes shut to avoid seeing any of her long blonde hair hit the floor. When Mia was done she refused to let Gem see. Instead she got out a make up kit and began applying cosmetics to Gem's face.

Next she moved on to Gem's closet and dresser drawers. After picking out some clothes for Gem she made her change into them. Then she rearranged her hair around her and touched up her make up.

"Ok, you're all set. You can go look now."

Gem walked over to the mirror. She wasn't sure she knew the girl looking back. Mia had made her eyes seem larger and bluer than ever with black eyeliner and mascara. It wasn't obvious but subdued, subtle. Her lips were a rich berry colour, again it managed to look almost natural. She actually liked the way her hair fell now that it was layered. It was just as long but it had a hint of natural wave to it, just like Mia's.

She was wearing a sheer, frilly white tank top over a solid red one and a pair of black Capri pants. "Mia, I don't know what you did to me."

"You don't like it." Mia's face fell. It was just like trying to dress Letty all over again.

"No I love it. But I think I look too sophisticated. I'll never pull it off."

"You already are. You look great. Just have some faith in yourself and remember you aren't a trailer queen. Time to live life miss Gem. Let's go get me ready."

They headed across the hall to Mia's room. Mia put on a western style skirt and paired it with a frilly tank top in a turquoise colour.

"Are you guys almost ready? I told Cory we'd be over at his place by ten." Vince hollered up the stairs. It was already ten to ten. They'd never make it in time at this rate.

"We're ready, hold your horses." Mia roared back.

"Still not going to tell me where we're going?" Gem asked as they headed for the stairs.

"No way. He'd kill me if you found out before he was ready to tell you."

Mia went down the stairs first, Gem close on her heels.

"You look good." Vince told Mia with a brotherly kiss on the cheek as she left the stairs and stood off to his side. This allowed him an unobstructed view of Gem.

Her hair was falling in sleek waves all around her shoulders and back. The new cut picked up the lighter colour on top by allowing the contrasting darker layers underneath to show. Her face was made up lightly to accent her full lips and beautiful eyes. In that moment, standing there on the stairs, looking slightly out of her element and more than slightly unsure of herself she looked like the most beguiling woman on earth. Her clothes were pretty and feminine, revealing just enough to lend intrigue to what was beneath them. She looked nothing like the kind of woman he was used to seeing when he went racing and he wouldn't have taken her any other way. "Wow." Was all he could actually put into words.

Gem blushed and giggled. Mia grinned from ear to ear. Vince opened the front door. Mia went out first. Gem went to follow her. Vince stopped her briefly. "You look good." He said, discomfort with the words making his voice into a husky growl.

"Thanks." Gem said softly over her shoulder with a smile. It was heady to have someone compliment you and actually mean it. The wonder in Vince's face would be hard to contrive. The simple words said with candour meant more than any contrived compliment ever could.

They reached the driveway where Mia was waiting beside her car. "I'm taking my own car. We can't roll up in only two cars."

"Ok. Just follow me to Cory's house, we'll get him and then we'll head down."

Gem looked between them both with a look of confusion on her face. "Roll up where? What does Cory have to do with this?"

"You'll see." Vince answered and pulled her door open, helping her into his car. He'd thought about Hector's idea he take Dom's car tonight but had rejected it. He had put himself into his own car. Driving Dom's was like cheating himself. Plus he didn't want to let Dominic intrude on his night. He was going racing just because he wanted to, because he'd promised a friend. Not because Dom needed his crew of loyal followers to feel like the big man on campus. He really hoped that Gem didn't hate the experience.

They pulled up to Cory's house and the kid was already in his car with the engine idling, waiting on them. Cory waved Vince ahead and Vince took off, Mia behind him and Cory bringing up the rear. Mia had always had a touch of the speed bug in her too. Vince supposed she couldn't not, not growing up with her father and brother. She lacked competitive drive however, and rarely raced for sport. She did it just for the sheer fun of it.

When they reached the open area leading up to the alleyway between the two warehouses Mia pulled out to his left, her car's nose even with his rear bumper and Cory took his right in the same position. Just like old times only instead of a red rocket ship in the flagship position it was a blue bullet. Vince tried not to let it go to his head that tonight he was the leader. He had his followers in V formation behind him. And his trophy sitting in his passenger seat, not running her own road rocket behind him. His trophy was at his right side, where she belonged, not placed behind him as though she was inferior and not qualified to be at the head of the line.

"This is the street races isn't it?" Gem asked as the cars flew toward the alleyway.

"Yeah. Are you mad I took you here?" Vince asked, glancing over at Gem from the corner of his eye.

"No. I've been curious. It just seemed like something you didn't want to do anymore so I didn't ask."

"I thought it was something I didn't want to do anymore. I think when it comes down to it I was scared to come here. I was scared of how it would remind me of who should be here with me. But in the end I guess since Dom took off I shouldn't let him take away something I used to enjoy doing."

"Not if you want to be here."

As they breached the alley's mouth and moved down the lane Gem's head flew from side to side as she tried to take in everything she was seeing. There were so many colours and lights all along the way she feared she'd never see them all and would miss something vital to the experience. It was as exciting as a carnival and they hadn't even parked the car yet.

Just as she thought that Vince pulled to a stop in the middle of the isle, just like Dom had done so many times while he was behind him. Normally behind Leon for that matter. At the back of the group with Mia. Well, not tonight. Vince got out of his car and walked around to help Gem out of hers. Cory was out of his looking around like a kid in the candy store who'd been told he could have whatever he wanted.

"Wow." Gem said, still holding the hand Vince had used to help her out of his dropped car. She looked around. Some of the cars had flashing lights, some just had neon lights everywhere. There was one car which had a neon lighting system underneath it which was changing colour every few minutes. Gem looked around at the other girls after she'd taken in a few of the cars. "I'm way over dressed. Half these girls aren't wearing half the clothes I am."

"You're not like those girls princess. You look great the way you are." Vince draped an arm possessively around Gem's shoulders. She was getting a fair amount of masculine attention, as was Mia. New girls often did. Their skank status was unknown and they hadn't had time to be disillusioned to the fact that the only role for most women on the scene was to make themselves available for the night to the winners. Gem would never find out that was what so many of the girls she was busy envying would be doing that evening after all the adrenaline was done flowing and the lights were shut down for the night.

Vince wanted the scene to stay magical for her, like he wished it had for him. Seeing Gem in the setting was making him realize he'd used so many of those girls for quick satisfaction, knowing that it was all they expected. They didn't expect any forever promises or kind treatment. Of course they didn't offer any loyalty in return. The moment you weren't winning anymore was the moment they left you for a bed with more prestige.

"Look at that car." Gem said, wonder in her words as she pointed at a pink Honda De Sol, the Asian girl who owned the car dressed in pink herself standing beside it looking just like the airbrushed girl on the hood. "She's had herself painted onto the hood."

"Yeah. You wanna go look around?"

"Sure."

Vince moved his arm off her shoulders and took her hand. He turned to Mia and Cory. We're just gonna go for a tour. You two wanna come?" Vince was glad Gem was looking off in another direction because as Cory went to say yes Mia kicked him in the shin. He shook his head no as he used his other foot to rub his stinging leg.

"I'm going to go see some people I haven't seen since we were here last and I bet Cory wouldn't want to let me wander off alone, would you Cory?" Mia asked in a sweet voice.

"Of course not Mia."

Vince watched, fighting laugher as he watched the dejected Cory follow Mia into a circle of Hector's female friends and crew members. "You ready."

"Umm." Gem answered and allowed Vince to lead her off down the alleyway. He pointed out various cars and people of interest as they went. Gem took it all in like a sponge, her eyes wide with wonder.

Her enthralment was catchy. Vince hadn't had so much fun at races since he and Dom had first started going. It was like her innocence of all the seedier aspects of the scene and her total rapture for the millions of lights and different kinds of music on blast brought back his pure enjoyment of the hobby. They stopped to look at an older RX-7, Gem asking him questions about the car and the paint. "Look at that one." She pointed at a mid nineties Honda Civic. "It's like mine."

"I think it's in slightly better condition and a bit newer."

"Still, mine could be like that."

"I guess it could be." Vince took the easy way out and decided to let her have her allusions about her car. He didn't want to ruin the night by fighting with her on the still sore subject of her refusal to replace her tired little car. He gave into his impulse to squeeze her around her waist to his side as he smiled down at her.

"You're humouring me." Gem said as she looked up.

"Guilty as charged. I don't want to argue tonight."

"You won't get one out of me. I'm having too much fun. Was it always like this for you?"

"For a long time, yeah. It lost some of the fun when Dom started to take it so seriously and basically made us take it that seriously right along with him."

"There are so many different cars, and people here. I'm afraid that I'm going to miss something if I close my eyes for a second too long."

"I can tell. If I'd known it'd make you this happy I'd have taken you here ages ago."

Gem couldn't believe how relaxed and happy Vince was here, amongst his friends. He was sober, and happy, and almost charming. When he smiled because he was really happy he had the most delicious crinkles just starting around the outside corners of his eyes. He stopped every so often to introduce her to people he knew, always keeping his arm around her waist or shoulders possessively but she honestly didn't mind. She got the feeling that it wasn't very often that Vince showed a preference for what girl was under his arm.

The whole atmosphere was almost too much for her to take in. Every car was slightly different than the one before it. No two cars were alike, not even if they were the same car underneath. There were so many girls dressed up to the nines. So many of them were wearing less than Gem thought decent but it lent an air of decadence to the whole scene. So did the cars, which were the real stars of the night.

There were so many different colours but all of them were pristine and shining like diamonds. The graphics were all different, many indicative of who owned the vehicle they were attached to. Every time all the beautiful girls started to overwhelm her it seemed like Vince read her mind and did something to remind her that unlike the random girls roving in packs together she knew both who she came with and who she was leaving with at the end of the night. Vince was always touching her in some way and it kept her from becoming apprehensive about her position in the crowd. She might not belong in the world but she was fairly certain she did belong at the side of the man she came with.

They made their way slowly back to the cars, seeing more cars along the opposite side of the alley as they went. When they arrived back at Vince's car they found Mia and Cory there along with Hector.

Vince and Hector shook hands before Vince turned to Gem. "Hector I want you to meet a friend of mine, Gem Davis. Gem, this is an old friend of mine, Hector."

"I got a last name too but I can't pronounce it so," Hector shrugged, "we can't expect the white boy to." Hector stuck out his hand. Gem took it and shook it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you."

"Where'd you find this one V?" Hector asked Vince with a grin, after giving Gem a head to toe look. "She's a keeper Homes."

Vince didn't answer, just smiled. He wasn't sure if Gem would take offence to him saying he knew that already, or if she'd take offence if he insisted they were just friends so he didn't say anything.

Gem hoped that Hector's words hadn't scared Vince into thinking about long term relationships and commitments he wasn't ready to formalize so she simply smiled what she hoped was a serene smile. "He found me in a parking lot with a dead starter and I've been a constant thorn in his side since."

"What she doesn't know is I only half ass fixed her car so she couldn't get too far away from me in it." Vince smiled wolfishly.

"Ah Coyote, we've missed you man." Hector said around his laughter.

"Oh!" Gem said in revelation. "C stands for Coyote. That was the nickname you wouldn't tell me?"

Vince hoped the flashing lights of various colours and the darkness of the night hid the faint blush he was sure was creeping up his neck. "Yeah."

"How'd you get a nickname like that?"

Vince shrugged.

"Because he likes to keep to himself and he'll eat anything. Plus he's smart, quick, and sly." Hector answered for him.

"Mostly because he'll eat anything." Mia tossed out, smiling at Vince's discomfort.

"It's old and not something I hear too much anymore." Vince grumbled.

"I tried so hard to find out what it meant when I first heard Cory call him 'C' but he wouldn't tell me no matter how hard I questioned and then I mostly forgot all about it until now or I would have asked Mia long ago."

"Come say hello to these people with me." Mia said as she grabbed Gem by the wrist and pulled her away from Vince. Vince watched them go with a shocked look on his face to match the one on Gem's.

"What was that about Mia?" Gem asked as they walked away.

"Nothing, I just want you to meet these girls."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. That and I wanted to tell you one other little interesting fact about Coyotes."

"That is?"

"When they mate, they mate for life."

As Mia made her point they reached the girls she'd been taking them to see. They'd been talking for a while when Gem felt an arm go around her waist. She looked up at Vince, who'd materialized by her side. "Hi." She said, fighting to keep a grin at seeing him from appearing on her face.

"Hey. I got challenged to a race and if that one goes off without the cops being called then Cory's gonna race. You gonna come watch us?"

"Sure." Gem looked at Mia. "You coming?"

"Yeah." Mia said good-bye to her friends and they all walked over to where Vince's car was parked. Vince got in and drove to the line, Mia and Gem following in Mia's car and Cory following in his own.

The girls, accompanied by Cory joined the throng of cheering people along the side of the road the race was to be held on.

"This is safe, right?" Gem asked Mia, traces of worry finding their way onto her face.

"Well, Vince is good at it." Mia hedged.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well, of course it's not really safe. I mean he's going to drive down a public road at 120." Mia looked contrite for what she said seconds after she said it. "My brother and his friends raced ever since they were old enough to drive and none of them ever got hurt doing it."

"Just Vince, and Letty, and your father." Gem pointed out, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Vince and Letty didn't get hurt street racing." Mia answered back in a low tone. "And my father didn't either. None of us has ever been hurt on the street. It'll be fine. Just watch. Vince is quite good at this. Or at least he use to be, before my brother pretty much decided he was the only one who should do any racing because he wanted all the money." Mia blew out a frustrated breath.

They watched as a girl raised her hand into the air, a white handkerchief in it and waved it, making the white pennant wave and jump in the air before she slammed her hand toward the ground while calling "Go!"

The three cars on the line took off in a blur of colours and squealing tires, flames erupting from the exhausts.

Gem watched, enthralled as the cars jockeyed for positions and weaved in and around each other. It wasn't long before Vince's blue car was rapidly pulling away from his two competitors. Gem could only guess the crowd erupting in noisy cheering was signalling the end of the race. It had only taken about thirteen seconds from start to finish.

Watching them streak away and worrying about the safety of her friend had made it seem a heck of a lot longer to Gem however. She watched as the three cars executed turns and came back to where they'd started at. She watched as Vince got his prize money from Hector, a smug smile on his face. She watched as his familiar blue eyes scanned the crowd. She knew by some instinct he was looking for her. She decided not to make it easy for him by rushing to his side. She stayed where she was, a smile flirting with the corners of her mouth.

Vince accepted the praise from the crowd thankfully. He was glad he'd won and it felt good to be the person everyone was looking up to for once. But there was one person whose reaction he was really interested in but he didn't see her anywhere. He fought his way out of a crowd of the very kind of girl that not so long ago he would have been thrilled to be in the middle of. But now he just found their over made up faces and on display bodies too out there. He found he preferred his girls a little more subtle and a lot more covered up and modest.

His eyes finally found her in the middle of a crowd of strangers, hanging back like she wasn't sure she'd be welcomed into the circle of people throwing themselves at him for some of his attention. He fought his way to her side. "There you are."

"Here I am." She answered.

"Did you see?"

"Yes. I'm glad you made it back safe."

The fact that her concern was for his personal safety and not the fact he'd won not lost touched him. "Thanks. You don't have anything to say about the fact I won?"

"Congratulations?" She smirked playfully. "You made it look so easy I thought perhaps it wasn't a challenge for you."

"It was. More of one than I'd like to admit as a matter of fact. I'm rusty."

"It didn't show."

"Good. Let's go watch Cory do his thing."

"Ok." She allowed herself to be lead out of the crowd over to the side of Cory's car. They watched as he raced and lost by a nose.

Vince consoled his young friend well, convincing the youth that he'd only get better with practise. After they talked to some other people Vince had known back 'in the day' as he put it, Mia came up to Gem.

"Some girls asked me to go out with them when this is all over. You want to come with?" Mia asked Gem.

"I'll pass Mia. I'm getting pretty tired to tell the truth. I didn't get a lot of good sleep last night."

"Ok, well, I'm going to go with them if you don't mind."

"I don't mind. I'll just ride home with Vince."

"Ok, see you later."

"Yeah, later." Gem waved as Mia walked away with a Latina girl she knew through Hector.

As Gem stood in the crowd, left practically alone by Mia's departure and Vince's position someplace to her left where he was talking to Cory and some other guys they knew she heard some girls talking.

"I don't know who she is but look at her outfit. Someone should let her know that high school was over a while ago."

"I know. I just don't know how a girl like her got hooked up with Vince. I mean, he use to have some taste."

Gem realized they were talking about her with a gasp of shock. She fought tears, wishing she just hadn't heard them. It wasn't fair. Just as she'd convinced herself that she had a future with Vince, that they were making progress someone had to go and remind her in the harshest way possible that she couldn't be herself and be someone that would fit into his world. And seeing him here tonight had brought it home just how much this was his world. He was so at home here, fit in so perfectly, but once again she was on the outside looking in. She noticed Vince notice Mia leaving and saw him start her way. She schooled her face into a mask of calm. She'd allow herself to be upset about what the girls had said later.

"Where's Mia going?" Vince asked as he noticed Mia's retreating back.

"Out with some girls she knows."

"Why didn't she ask you to go with her?" Vince asked, angry at the thought they were excluding Gem because she was new. If he'd known what the two girls behind her had said he'd have been a heck of a lot more angry than he was.

"She did. I declined. I'm too tired to go to a dance club tonight."

"Oh. You want to go home then?"

"When you're ready."

"I'm ready. I'm too damn old to run from the cops and they're bound to be called if we stick around here too long."

"Ok, we should head out then because I sure don't want to get arrested."

They said good night to Cory and got into the Maxima, heading toward home from the warehouse district.

"You seem so quiet all of a sudden. Something happen you wanna tell me about?" Vince asked Gem as they drove home. She only shook her head no in answer, further convincing him there was something. "Come on Princess, don't stop talkin' to me now."

"It's nothing, really." Gem was trying to convince herself not to listen to those two girls. They were just jealous. It was something that Gem had picked up on, whether Vince tried to let her or not, that those girls threw themselves at the winning drivers. She was busy trying to convince herself they were just upset that while they'd made their offers obvious Vince hadn't taken any of them up on it.

"If it's nothing than it shouldn't be a big deal to tell me what it was."

"Fine. These two girls that were behind me were talking down about me and how I didn't belong there tonight. I almost let them convince me they were right."

"You can't listen to what race skanks say Gem. They're a different kind of person than what you're use to. Trust me. Nothing they said has any basis in reality other than the deluded reality in their own heads."

"I've been telling myself that ever since we left. It's just that I felt like I was out of my element there already then I overheard that."

"You're right, you were out of your element there, but that's a good thing. It means that racing is a fun experience for you. I don't ever want it to loose the fun for you. If it does than you should stop going. But you can't change who you are so some slutty girls won't be jealous of you."

"Thanks."

"For what?" Vince looked at her in confusion.

She shrugged. "For being you."

Vince looked uncomfortable as he turned up the stereo. A hip hop beat began to emanate from the speakers.

"This isn't your usual music." Gem commented.

"I though maybe we could find some common ground someplace between metal and Amanda Marshall." Vince tossed out one of the names he'd seen in her CD collection as Phenomenon started to blast.

As was often her downfall, Gem couldn't prevent herself from listening to the words of the song instead of just enjoying the beat. The subject matter started to turn her cheeks red. Vince looked over at her and chuckled. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"This song too racy for you?"

"Not at all."

"Ok." Vince turned it up.

"You're horrible." Gem admitted and a laugh at how he was teasing her escaped her lips.

"I know." Within another few minutes they were pulling up to the house. They walked up the stairs into the house. Gem kicked off her heals gratefully and padded barefoot into the living room. She sank into the couch with a sigh. Vince headed into the kitchen. He came back with a glass of lemonade for Gem and a beer for himself. She gave him a speculative look, which he caught.

"I'm just having one, ok?"

"I never said anything." Gem said as she took the glass from his outstretched hand.

"You thought it."

"Now you're a mind reader?"

"When it comes to some things, yeah I am." Vince sat down at the other end of the couch and took a swig of his drink. He turned the TV on and flipped up through the channels but didn't find anything to watch. He flicked the TV off and clicked the stereo on with the remote. The CD engaged and the rich sounds of Ashanti filled the living room, Mia having been the last one to use the stereo.

As the song played Gem railed against the fates which made sure the song cued to play was one that would remind her of her current situation.

As Ashanti crooned about thinking about the way her fictional lover kissed and not wanting it to be wrong because she liked it, and not being able to fight it Gem sat on the couch, a mere two feet away from the man in her thoughts, totally unsure about what to do next. Did they just have an official date? Or was it just two friends hanging out?

Because I never felt like this, I don't wanna be wrong cause I like it, thinking about the way you kiss.

As Ashanti's recorded words continued to echo her thoughts Gem thought about getting up and fleeing to her room under a guise of being exhausted. Even as she thought that was just what she should do and was getting ready to lean forward and put her glass on the coffee table she watched Vince beat her to the motion, setting his empty beer bottle on the table.

Like his movement had given her courage she also set her glass down. They stood up at the same time, quite by accident. They ended up looking at each other awkwardly, neither sure what the next move should be.

"I had a nice time tonight." Gem broke the silence, feeling the need to say something.

"Me too. Thanks for coming with me even though I wouldn't tell you where we were going."

"I'm glad I came. I understand more why racing was such a big deal to you and your friends now."

"I'd like to take you again some time. Maybe even let you ride along with me."

"I think I'd like that." Gem stretched. Vince watched as the arching motion pulled her shirt tight across her chest. "Night."

Before she could walk away, acting purely on instinct Vince took a hold of her shoulders. She stopped, looking up at him with questions in her eyes. Unable to stand her scrutiny a second longer he used his thumbs to brush her eyes closed before sliding his hands into her silky, unbound hair. She could see right through him.

Her lips parted in unconscious invitation but her eyes stayed closed. He started to lower his head toward hers, focused on nothing but the anticipation of kissing her again. As Mandy Moore sang of longing and desire his lips met hers, cautiously at first but with more hunger as she didn't reject his touch.

As his fingers studied the shape of the back of her head her arms came up and circled his neck. There was no way she could walk away. From moment he touched her she was lost. She could have done it had he not touched her. She didn't have the strength to walk away now. Wasn't sure she wanted to anyway and moreover didn't know if she should walk away. Maybe everything she'd been waiting for was waiting on her right here in this man's arms. The only way she was going to find out was to see where fate took them. So she through caution to the wind, hoped against hope she didn't get her heart broken again and kissed him back with all she had.

Knowing he wasn't ready to take things farther than the kiss they'd shared, and knowing she wasn't likely ready either, after all they'd been through he broke the contact of their lips and simply held her tight for a moment.

After a minute she leaned back and looked up at him in question.

"I think it'd be a better idea to take things slow." He answered her unspoken inquiry.

She nodded. In a way she was frustrated with slow. Slow didn't get her very far. On the other hand his not wanting to rush into a physical relationship showed he wasn't just looking for a quick and meaningless fling. He saw the longing in her eyes anyway.

"Don't look at me like that Princess. It's hard enough to send you upstairs alone as it is."

"Then why are you?"

"I don't wanna rush this. When I rush things I fuck them up. I don't want to fuck this up Gem. Can you understand?"

"I think so." She bit her lower lip for a moment. "I do. Night."

"Night." He let her go after one more quick, hard kiss. The longing look she sent over her shoulder ensured this time when she left him standing in the dark, it was only in the literal sense. Figuratively she left him bathed in her light and he was grateful. He silenced the end of Mandy's heartfelt song and headed downstairs.

Mia crept into the house late. Very late. She knew if Vince was still up she was in deep shit. Grown up or no he'd still be livid she'd stayed out so late without so much as a phone call. She crept up the stairs and peeked into Gem's room. She was disappointed to find her friend asleep alone. But at least Gem looked content and Vince hadn't heard her come home.

Gem found herself at work with some explaining to do the next evening. Barry and Barbara both badgered the story of why she'd gotten drunk in a Hells Angels bar out of her. Barry had been ready to go over to Vince's table and 'beat some sense into him.' Only Gem's vehement insistence that she and Vince had already worked out their differences without his interference stopped him.

On Sunday Gem finally allowed herself to think back on how she'd felt when those girls had talked about her behind her back so cruelly. In her reflections about that and the other issues she'd dealt with over the previous forty eight hours she found her next song. She wrote it in one marathon session Sunday night. She refused to leave her music room until it was done, the song pouring out of her in a flurry of pure emotion.

She wrote while she listened to all her favourite artists. Fiona Apple, Amanda Marshall, Blind Melon, Sara McLachlan and Alicia Keys. When she was done writing she went to bed. Her song took all the emotion she had to give for the time being and she fell into an exhausted sleep. When she woke up the next day she felt refreshed, better than she had in days just for having got her pent up feelings out.

She, Tamica, Elliott and Vince found time to practise the music on Wednesday. They were sure this song was going to go better than any of their other ones ever had. It was the first time they'd all heard the music played before they went on stage to perform.

As waited for the call to the stage Thursday night Gem actually felt confident in herself for the first time ever. She never felt good enough off the stage. Tonight was different. As though Vince picked up on it he smiled up at her from his typical seat in the armchair.

"You're happy tonight."

"I like this song."

"I like all your songs."

"Thanks, but I mean I really like this one."

"Good. Is Mia coming down tonight?"

"She thought so."

Before Vince could answer they were called to the stage. "Here goes." Elliott said with a grin.

As they took the stage there was some early applause from the audience. Nalia introduced them to the crowd as they hooked up their instruments.

The music started and Gem closed her eyes, waiting for her cue to begin. It came in the form of a deep chord from her bass.

"She don't run from the sun no more, she boxed her shadow and she won. 'Said I can see you laugh, through these bottle caps and this wire around my neck ain't there for fun. But some day we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful."

Perhaps her words didn't make perfect sense to the rest of the crowd but they told a story Vince was familiar with. As she played her bass like a master she continued to sing, reaching her chorus.

"Meanwhile I hide my head here in this paper bag 'cause if I can't see you, then you can't see me. And it'll be ok, that's right it'll be a way to where there's no more rain and I can be me."

How she always managed to write songs that applied to everyone in their own way Tamica could never figure out. If Gem lived through everything she wrote than she lead one hell of a busy life was all she could figure. Tamica loved the new song, the lyrics having some sort of relevance to everyone who'd ever wished they could just have the ground open up and swallow them where they stood so they wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment of whatever situation they found themselves in, all while secretly wishing they didn't have to, that they could just be themselves.

"Yeah they talk about her. She smiles like she's so tough. She says hey, can you talk a little louder, I don't think my heart is broken enough. But someday we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful."

Elliott knew she was singing about herself in a lot of ways. But he could totally relate to what she was saying. He heard so many people talk about him but he just smiled like it didn't matter and kept going with his life. He couldn't change what other people thought. But he didn't have to like it and sometimes what they said did make him want to just hide like an ostrich with his head in the sand.

"Meanwhile I hide my head here in this paper bag 'cause if I can't see you then you can't see me. And it'll be ok, right it'll be a way to where there's no more rain and I can be me."

Mia watched her friend singing, wondering what it was all about. She knew this time it was personal to Gem, not like last week, she just didn't know what had made Gem feel that way. She knew it wasn't Vince. The two, while they tried to avoid her seeing it, made longing looks at each other all the time when they thought she couldn't see. But she did see. She just didn't understand why they weren't doing anything about it.

"Some days I wait in the under tow, singing that song on the radio. I blame these puddles on the rain. You know I gotta keep these cheeks dry today. Gotta keep my cheating strategy, and maybe I'm gonna have it made. But someday we'll all be old and I'll be so damn beautiful."

She already was beautiful if you asked him, Vince mused as she sang. Even more so when she was on stage doing what she did best. How she managed to put something so personal and painful into words and then go sing about it in public no less was always amazing to him. Of course, he found anyone who wanted to talk about their feelings strange. But he was coming around. More or less because she didn't give him any choice.

He smiled at the thought even as he played her song and watched her play her music with such passion. Was it wrong of him to want some of that passion for himself?

"Meanwhile I hide my head, here in this paper bag, 'cause if I can't see you then you can't see me. And it'll be ok, that's right it'll be a way to where there's no more rain and I can be me.

"And I hide my head here in this paper bag 'cause if I can't see you then you can't see me

And It'll be ok, and it'll be a way to where there's no more rain and I can be me.

Where I can be me.

I can be me, yeah.

Where I can be me."

The song ended on a held guitar chord and the band left the stage amid the applause being offered by the happy audience. They never seemed to know the songs were all based on things their favoured singer had gone through. They felt the emotions to be sure but never grasped just how real the lyrics actually were. That was fine by Gem. She didn't want people to know they were getting a front row seat in her head anyway. She changed back into her apron and went back to work.