Catalyst

by tempest-races

A catalyst is not consumed by a reaction, only precipitates it; remaining itself unchanged and yet instigating momentious change in the reagents. Like a catalyst, will they fall out of solution unscathed or will the reaction consume them both?

10. Consider This

AN: Hello all. Let me start by saying a big thank you for the reviews. They were a big motivator when I was feeling like I didn't want to do much of anything. Adding to the delay was the fact I recently quit my job in a hair trigger reaction to the way they constantly shit on me and then found myself frantic to find a new job. Being unemployed was something I was longing for but not planning on. Finding a new job is not an easy thing to accomplish when you're a girl who's a mechanic by trade in a small, traditional community. But I did luck into a new job, a better job as luck would have it, and life is almost good.

On that note, not that I mind crit, or flames or whatever bones you wanna toss my way, but it really grinds my gears when someone can't be specific with their criticism! If you hated it, great! Please tell me why specifically you did, so that I might have a hope of fixing what I'm doing wrong. I can't learn from my mistakes if no one points them out. I'm sure I'm making some, I'm just not sure what they are.

On a semi-related note to all that, I'm not sure about this chapter. I've rewritten it ten times, deleted parts and just started them over, reworded things, made the dialog simpler, more complex and it just goes on from there. I'm not totally happy with this. I just don't know how to fix it. I guess it doesn't help that I can't quite put my finger on what's leaving the slightly off taste in my mouth. I'm liking it until three quarters of the way through but then it gets kinda wonky to me. I know I'm crazy, so maybe it's just me. I've just come to the decision that if I can't fix it after three weeks of trying I'm never going to.

Also, I know what I want to see happen by the end but the mechanics of it are still a little lost on me. I'm not sure how I'm going to have everything happen the way it will, but I know what the outcome will be already. Don't worry, I won't forget Mia. As for what will happen with Gem and Vince, I'm not quite sure. Reality and romance are going to be a hard one to mix in this case but I think it'll be worth it in the end and I think I know what I would like to see happen. Let me know what you think, please. Ciao, Tempest.

PS: Deerintheheadlights, you deserve some sorta award or some shit for reading my long winded rambling in one sitting. Damn, this is like 180 some odd thousand words long. Since I've only made it through one fic this long in one sitting and had crossed eyes the next day, you flatter me sir or madam. ;)

Catalyst

By – TempestRaces

Chapter 10 – Consider This

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are meant for.

William Shedd

Long shadows crept around the room with seeking fingers, finding their way under dressers and the bed and crawling up the walls. The bed coverings were mussed and tossed back, showing evidence someone had occupied their surface for a brief time. A time that didn't allow the occupant to find the rest they sought. Rather than a blonde head, a taupe and sable cat occupied center stage on the feather pillow. He slept blissfully as only a cat can, curled into a ball, chin resting on the ankle of a rear leg.

She sat at her dressing table cum desk, staring at a blank piece of paper, her chin pillowed on her palm as her elbow was propped on the desk's shiny surface. The sole source of light in the room was a antique desk lamp. The beam of light emitted by the single, low wattage bulb was concentrated on top of her work, making the unbroken white of her notebook page all the more conspicuous, as though it were a spotlight to highlight her failure to fill the paper with her efforts. It was Thursday night, late. After her performance on stage she had put on a credible appearance of normalcy at work. She had smiled and laughed with her friends. Waited on people in a friendly manner, like she was normal. Like everything was ok.

Like seeing him again hadn't taken what was left of her sanity and tossed it to the corners of the earth on the four winds. It had been one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life to go on with her night. To take orders from laughing people out enjoying a night of fun and relaxation when for all she knew she would never enjoy a night out again. Her memories of going out on the town were all wrapped up with other memories now.

Memories of him.

Every time she thought about going out, about dance clubs or even her uncle's bar in San Francisco she thought about doing it with him at her side. And that lead to the inevitable recollections of how she thought that he would be by her side forever. That she would be his to care for not just for an hour, a day, or a year, but for a life time. She couldn't help but dwell on how foolish it had been for her to imagine a future she had never been lead to expect. Had never been promised. Had never discussed.

There had been no talk of a happily ever after. She had merely allowed herself to envision it, to assume it would be. Not only because she wanted it but because they both seemed so content with how things were going. Never had Vince alluded to any desire to end things, that he wasn't happy with their situation.

He had shown her things important to him. His garage, the races, cars and the world exclusive to the upper echelon of fast, tuned road rockets. He had shared his guitar and love of playing, something he had kept from everyone but the very inner circle of family for years up until that point. Then, despite his preference for flying low, under everyone's radar, he had joined her on stage. At first, out of a false sense of indebtedness, but later out of some need or desire to be there for himself.

But yet, here she was. Sitting staring at a blank slate with her legs tucked under her, dressed for bed in her guilty little secret-one of his tank tops. The fatuous nature of her task wasn't lost on her. She was sitting in her room, practically in the dark with the only light highlighting the fact she was trying to write a song to be played by a band he was in, wearing his tank top because it still smelled slightly of his soap and aftershave, bemoaning the fact she couldn't forget him, couldn't get over him and couldn't move on.

The perversity of human nature had never been illustrated so clearly for her. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She claimed she wanted to forget, to move on. Yet she surrounded herself with things to remind her of him. His tank top, his talented fingers on guitar strings she needed to make her music, his childhood crush-now her best friend. His presence and position in the most important thing in her world to date, after their relationship; her band. She fought hysterical laughter and settled instead for snorting derisively through her nose.

Ridiculous.

The ocean of white in front of her sat mocking, glowing gently in the light of her desk lamp.

There were no more songs to be found in her current emotional state. It had cost all she had to give to live it on stage in front of so many people once. She would not reprise it from a different angle for another night. She didn't have the strength to do it. So instead she sat, pen caught between her teeth as she tried to think, its ink rendered useless. She gave up on getting any writing done tonight with a sigh. The endeavour was futile. Yet she didn't go back to bed. There was little point. Sleep would be ever elusive with her mind this busy, and she well knew it.

♫

Mia lay awake, only a thin wall separating her from her friend. Gem kept her outward appearance so together. But when you knew where to look the cracks were becoming apparent. She hated to show weakness and had become good at hiding it from the world through a lot of practise. Mia knew she had shrugged off all the pointed barbs and their stings ever since grade school and the habit had become ingrained with so much practice. She was the cool one, the level head. Some day the stress of keeping herself so contained was going to make her explode. Mia knew for a fact she was correct in this assumption because it had happened to her. She was just really starting to put herself back together now.

It wasn't like she didn't have her own issues to deal with. Dom, Leon and Letty approached her at work and on the phone. They wanted their chances to explain themselves, to salvage some of their previously close relationship. It wasn't a relationship Mia was sure was salvageable.

However, as Gem remained involved in her own issues and her own world it became harder and harder to ignore their entreaties. It wasn't that Mia begrudged Gem the right to deal with the blow she had been dealt introspectively. It was just that she had never been a person who enjoyed living alone. She craved companionship and longed for the times when she had Gem and Vince to care for and to depend on her.

Now Vince was presumably taking care of himself back at the house and Gem was hardly ever home. When she was she was holed up in her room. Supposedly, writing more songs. Allowing herself to dwell ad nauseam on what she had heard was more accurate, Mia was sure. She did her best to be there for her friend, even though Gem's aloof demeanour made it difficult, but sooner or later Gem was going to have to help herself. It was something else that Mia had learned the hard way. It was fine to depend on your friends, but you had to want to move on yourself too. It seemed for now, Gem wanted to wallow in her pain.

Not to mention she went out of her way to be alone. It was hard to be there for someone you never saw. At least Vince came looking for her company, even if he wouldn't take her advice about how to patch things up with Miss Gemmalynn 'I don't need anyone because they just hurt me in the end' Davis.

♫

Vince dragged himself home about an hour before the official closing time of the Cobalt. He stuck around long enough to get loaded and watch Gem do her job for several hours. He left early enough that he wouldn't run into her outside the buffer of the club. She looked just like she had before she had moved out.

If he wasn't so aware that she meant every word in her song he would be quite convinced that it was merely a story of people she had heard about, or a couple she knew. It was like she had herself so together and had already moved on while he was busy falling to pieces, watching everything he had come to care for be taken away from him one by one.

He didn't sleep anymore. He drank as much, if not more, than he had before Gem had moved in. This meant he was always hung over and snapped the head off anyone who got in his way. It was worse because everything was his fault this time.

He had said stupid things because he was an idiot.

He had said stupid things because he was a coward. He had let Dominic bull his way back into his life because of the same flaw.

He drank too much because he was both an idiot and a coward and lacked self control.

He also lacked a desire to deal with the problems in his life. He didn't know how and didn't know if he wanted to if the end result was still going to see him living his life all alone, no Gem or Mia to make all his struggles and hard work worth while. So he buried his head under a mountain of drunken indifference to ignore his problems, hoping if he ignored them long enough that they'd just go away.

Why bust his ass day in day out in the garage if Mia wasn't depending on him to keep her in a house? Dom ran things better anyway, he told himself. But in his heart he knew it wasn't true. Dom got caught up in the details as they pertained to himself and forgot about the fact that everyone depended on making money and the customers depended on getting their cars back by the time they were promised and fixed correctly.

Dom also tended to think he and by proxy his shop, were too good to do certain things. Basic maintenance was too far below him. Dom tended to think owning a performance garage was all about upgrading turbos and installing nitrous. He tended to forget that people who couldn't upgrade their own turbo and install their own nitrous likely couldn't change their own oil either. They wanted to take their highly tuned car to the same shop they trusted for everything, big and small. They did not want to trust Jiffy Lube to put the right oil into their 'baby'.

Laying on his back in the dark, staring up at his ceiling, he didn't feel any closer to a solution to any of his problems.

Least of all what he was going to do about Gem's band. He couldn't stand to be so close to her on stage but so distant from her in life. She had let him into her inner circle, the place where she didn't keep the guard up twenty four seven and he found himself unable to go back to the place where she was a casual acquaintance he happened to hang out with one night a week and drink in the bar she worked at. He couldn't make it work. He knew because he had tried.

He sighed as he heard Leon toss in the room across the hall. Maybe the girls were onto something with the whole moving out thing. He sure hadn't forgiven Dom or Letty for what they had done, for what they had put him through. The three of them barely spoke and it was straining Leon's relationship with them all.

Poor Leon, always wanting to please everyone.

Poor Vince, always saying he didn't want to please anyone.

Both of them now caught between a rock and a hard place. Maybe they should get a place of their own too, just like Gem and Mia. Except that unlike Mia, Leon would never find the balls to move out of Dominic's world. It would rock too many boats. In the end, did it really matter? He was hardly ever home anyway. It wasn't like Letty could cook. Since neither could he, Leon or Dominic it wasn't like he ever ate a meal at home anymore.

If Mia hadn't taken pity on him and secretly started feeding him lunch when he showed up at her café who knew when he would ever eat anything but fast food.

If his life had been uninspired before the heists had gone wrong at least it had been simple.

He rolled over with a deep sigh. It was time to try and get some sleep.

♫

Gem finally put her pen to the pristine paper some time after she had drifted off into her own world.

Wanted: Experienced guitarist for rock band. Original songs and cover tunes. Must have ability to read and write music and ability to memorize music quickly. Band consists of lead singer/bass guitarist, pianist and drummer currently. Play on stage every Thursday night at the Cobalt Café's open mic night. Open to someone with suggestions how to get band more exposure, hopefully leading to record deal. Need someone ASAP.

She added her phone number at home and at Toretto's café before tossing her pen down on top of the ad. That was it. She knew it had to be done and she did it. That didn't mean it didn't hurt. She knew she couldn't move on as long as he was still a part of her music. If he was a part of her music, he was still fundamentally a part of her. Yet as much as she claimed to move on was what she wanted she was still reluctant to sever all the ties. If it wasn't for the fact it was so late at night, she knew she would force herself to put it in an envelope and mail it to the classifieds right now so she wouldn't chicken out. Instead, she resolved to drop it off to several major papers early in the morning.

She rose and crossed to her bed. First thing in the morning was going to come very early.

♫

Mia got up with a yawn early the next morning. The sky was just starting to go from black through shades of red, orange and yellow and as she walked by the window the rich colors glowed warmly on her silk dressing gown. She wandered into the kitchen, covering a yawn with her hand as she went. Because it was so early she was very surprised to find Gem already gone for the day.

She sighed. How long could it go on? Gem avoided her every chance she got. She didn't come home for meals. She didn't linger when they traded shifts at the café. Mia tried not to take it personal. Gem avoided everyone. She didn't call Tamica or Elliott anymore. Didn't talk to her boss or co-workers. She was slowly turning in on herself. About the only person who still had her full attention was the cat. And that was like as not only because the cat didn't talk back. Or offer advice on how to deal with the messed up situation in her life.

Mia shrugged as she poured her first cup of coffee out of the pot. It would either work itself out or it wouldn't. She finished with her breakfast and got dressed. It was time to head to school for the morning before she went to relieve Gem at lunch and got treated to another of their three word conversations.

♫

Gem used the time she had between when she had fled the house-and she didn't kid herself, she knew she was running away from the conversation Mia was going to insist they had someday-and arriving at work to hit a fast food joint for breakfast, drop off her ad and go for a drive. As she ate her paper bag breakfast she spared a chagrined look at her own middle. As was always her first instinct when she was hurting, she had turned to food. It showed. The ten pounds or so she had lost while living with Mia and having all her meals home cooked for her had been found. They had been hiding at McDonald's and Burger King, Gem thought with a giggle.

But it was serious, no matter how light hearted she could make it seem. She couldn't eat away her pain. Besides being bad for her health and appearance it wasn't even working. Food could not offer the emotional support she needed. It was just a band-aid solution and a temporary one at that. If it wasn't temporary soon the only thing she would own that would fit her would be her gym pants. That wouldn't go over very well on stage night at all.

She turned up the stereo before she shifted into fourth. She was on her way back to the neighbourhood so she could open the café on time.

There's only one thing for it Gem my girl, she thought. You're just going to have to try harder to turn to your friends instead of food.

On that thought she pulled up to the café and parked the car before going inside and opening up the front. She wouldn't have much to do until around eleven, when the lunch crowd started to show up. She had fallen into a routine. It was a routine of boredom for the most part but it was familiar to her now. She opened, sat down at the counter and attempted to write a song.

Mostly she ended up killing trees. Lots of trees. She often though that perhaps she should invest in a laptop computer so she could just erase whatever she wrote that she ended up not liking. Tossing out the page every time she wrote something she wanted to change meant she had a lot of wasted paper at the end of the day. She was rarely happy with anything she wrote. That hadn't changed. She was her own worst critic, always had been. She was even more hypercritical of herself now. She second guessed everything she thought or wrote. Ever since she found out how badly she misjudged Vince she had lost her confidence to decide if she was seeing other things in a clear light.

She knew why but she didn't really like the conclusion she had reached. It had been her decision to move out of the house, to leave Vince and everything that had become familiar to her. She had thought this act would make her feel better, would get her back on track. It had done nothing of the sort. She still felt bad all the time. It was like walking around with a dark cloud over her head. But maybe, and she was just now starting to see this, she had to be the one to change how she felt. It might have to be an active pursuit on her part. Sitting around waiting for things to change for her wasn't working.

She was sitting at the counter on her side of the structure, with her chin palmed in her hand, staring into space when a stranger walked in. There was something nagging her, there was something familiar about him, but she couldn't place just what. He took a seat, almost right in front of her.

She found herself looking into a pair of the greenest eyes she had ever seen. There otta be a law against having eyes that decided on what color they want to be, she mused as she glanced at his face again and looked away before he could catch her staring. He wasn't bad looking on the whole. He was made with wiry resilience rather than brute strength. His arms and chest were sinewed with lean muscle but he carried no bulk. She glanced over at him again, covertly under her lashes. He was wearing a jersey tank top and jeans. His biceps sported tattoos. He reminded her of Vince in a bittersweet way. She hated to be reminded of Vince at all, but elements of his style were echoed in this man's mussed hair and inked biceps.

Sooner or later I'm going to have to ask him what he wants. "Help you?"

♫

"Yeah, sure." But not the way you think, Leon thought with a grimace he tried to hide. How did you try to convince a girl you didn't even know that your best friend, who was a jackass, wasn't such a jackass at all? He didn't think he was that good a salesman. Vince was a horse's ass. Well, at least he was about ninety percent of the time. Of course, this Gem had lived with him for a few months so she likely knew that. But how could he sell it to her that this thing Vince had done hadn't been because he was an asshole? That this act had been, stupidly or not, borne out of a thought which had occurred during a stitch of time when Vince wasn't being an idiot.

He had asked himself several times why he even cared if they weren't together anymore. Vince and some chick broke up all the time and he'd never cared before. This time it was different though, and Leon knew it. It was just killing him to see V so unhappy. Vince was never what anyone would deem peppy. Hell, he wasn't even civil three quarters of the time. Especially not first thing in the morning, before he had his coffee. But he wasn't one to be depressed either. Use to be he would just exist when he wasn't completely impressed with a situation.

Yeah, they all did their share of drinking and partying and sometimes harder stuff too. But not like Vince was now. It was like he had abandoned all hope for the future somewhere along this road he was on now. And it was slowly tearing everyone and everything Leon had left apart. The only solution he could see was if the little blonde chick could possibly see her way into forgiving Vince, or at least hearing him out. Maybe then everyone could move on with life. Instead of stagnating the way they were in a fog of alcohol, drugs, and bad attitude.

Things at the garage sure couldn't get much worse. Letty and Dom had fought again and weren't really speaking. Since it was Letty who got most of the vital work done while Dom lost himself in his fantasies for how great things could be, if they just got this one part or just won this next race, now that Letty wasn't helping, not much was getting done.

Corey and Bill dealt only with the customers they had been dealing with before they had returned and Dom had taken over the day to day running of the garage again. They refused to interact with, as Leon had heard them say when they didn't know he was listening, three interlopers who had come along when they weren't needed or wanted and ruined everything. Dom didn't want them to be there any more than they wanted to be there but he couldn't get rid of them. He thought they stuck around because they needed the job. Leon knew that wasn't the case. They stuck around because they saw the business as it now was as Vince's and they were simply marking time until he came back to claim it again.

Leon happened to glance up and realized that Vince's girl was staring at him through narrowed eyes. A quick glance at his watch showed he'd been sitting at the counter staring at the scarred top for the better part of ten minutes. He gave her a rueful grin. "Sorry 'bout that," he drawled.

"No problem. I'm stuck here until Mia relieves me at twelve whether you order or not."

With this statement Leon figured she had remembered him. A closer look revealed this was not the case. She was looking out over the street, presumably giving him time to finish with the little paper menu and decide what kind of sandwich he wanted. With a shrug he decided that as long as he was going to do something as stupid as stick his nose where it didn't belong he might as well get a last meal out of it too. "I'll have ham and Swiss on white."

Gem returned her lackadaisical eyes to him when his statement broke the silence. "Mustard or mayo?"

"Yeah, both."

Leon watched as she lazily took two pieces of white bread out of the bag and buttered them lightly before spreading the mayo onto one piece and mustard onto the other. Her position at the café clearly didn't interest her. It couldn't be more clear she was bored out of her mind to be making sandwiches at the dinky little lunch counter. So how was it that Mia had never minded working the café and her best friend couldn't stand it? Were they a case of opposites attracting? "How long have you been working here for Mia?"

"A few weeks. Since she went back to school at the first of the month. You know Mia?"

"You could say that." Leon didn't continue until he had his sandwich safely in front of him free of spit and not dropped on the floor first. "I'm Leon, we use to live together. Before…" Leon trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"I see." Gem answered frostily. "So what are you doing here?"

Leon ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. "I was hoping we could talk a bit."

"I don't see where we have a lot to talk about. I don't know you."

"I know we don't know each other. I'd like a chance to change that. I'd like to talk to you about some things."

"Things like what?" Gem asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Things like you and Mia and the whole not having any contact with the rest of us thing."

"Why should I want to talk to you about any of that?"

Leon sighed. "I guess you shouldn't want to. But I wish you would anyway. There are a lot of things about us that you don't know."

Gem stared back unmoved. "I know enough. I know what I heard that night. I know what I was told about Dom is true. And I know that means I don't want anything to do with him."

"I'm not going to tell you that what you were told about Dom isn't totally correct because it likely is. He's likely even worse than you think about a lot of things. But Dom's not really what I want to talk to you about. It's Vince."

When Leon said 'it's Vince' in that tone of voice Gem's instincts kicked into overdrive. "What about Vince? Is he hurt? Sick?" She fought not to panic. They hadn't spoken in days. Had something happened to him? Was he alone in a hospital room someplace hurting? What if he was having flashbacks to hanging off the side of the truck again? "Well?"

"Not like you mean. But ever since you left and refused to speak to him it's been bad. He barely speaks to any of us."

Was that all? She almost sagged with relief. But if he wasn't dying than she was still angry and that was a fact. She offered Leon a one shouldered shrug. "Well, he should have thought before he spoke so much the night Dom showed up." Gem told herself not to be easily swayed. If Vince was hurting it was no less than he'd put her through. What was stopping him from coming to talk to her about it himself?

"Story of his life," Leon chuckled. "Never could keep those size twelves of his out of his damn mouth." He sobered up with his next thought. "But there are reasons behind what he said that you might not understand."

"I understand just fine. He thought that Dom would make a play for me and that I would fall for it so he decided to try and head it off by making Dom think I was just some easy waitress he picked up and therefore not even worth the effort because I just wasn't that important."

"I won't argue that he was trying to convince Dom he didn't really have much interest in you. But the reasons why aren't exactly the ones you think."

"Oh really?" Gem asked sarcastically. It had seemed pretty conclusive from what Vince and Mia had told her all along.

"Yeah, really." Leon looked up at Gem from his seated position. When he had broached this subject she had risen from her seat and began to pace. She paused to meet his eyes. "Look, I know you likely think you got the whole story from Vince and Mia but you probably didn't."

Gem looked taken aback. Her eyes got wide and her head tilted slightly to the side quizzically. "How do you figure?"

"Because when they told you all the stuff they told you they were still only thinking of how bad Dom hurt them by running off. They weren't being impartial."

"And you think you could be?"

"I think I could come closer. I've been on the run with Dom for the last year. I know what he's been going through."

"No more than he deserves," Gem said. Her tone said that her opinion was final. Her eyes told a different story. There was a slight softening there, and Leon saw it. He was making her think. From what Vince said about her, she wasn't someone who liked to think the worst of people, but would if they gave her cause.

"Not a day went by that Dom didn't question himself and the decision he made."

"But he never came back and never even tried to check up on his friends. On his sister."

"He felt that was a sacrifice he had to make. He said if he checked up on them, or called them nothing good could come of it."

"Other than him knowing they were ok and letting them know he was also fine so they didn't spend a year thinking he was dead in some quack hospital in Mexico."

"That was small potatoes to what Dom thought could happen. He had himself convinced they were bugging the house and shop phones, likely the phone here too. He figured he knew they'd be watching over Vince in the hospital real close. Both because he was a flight risk and because they'd figure that we'd come back for him. Dom figured that they had Brian and could use him as a hostile witness against us. If that happened they had an airtight case. Gone loco on the cops or not, none of us figured that Brian would lie if they put him on the stand."

"That's why you could get a prepaid cell phone just for the one call. That wouldn't be traceable. Then you could have called to find out about Brian, and Vince. Not to mention Mia and Jesse. They wouldn't have been able to trace a cell phone and it wouldn't matter if you could just throw it away."

"No, you're right. It wouldn't have been traceable. But if we'd called home and found out about Jesse than we might have decided to come back and Dom wouldn't have allowed that."

"Why the heck not? That's what you should have done in the first place! Mia had to make all the arrangements for Jesse on her own and that wasn't fair. You should have come back to help her out with it, and with caring for V."

"Not if the police were looking for us. Look," Leon said, trying to play to Gem's logical side. "If Dom found out about Jesse dying or found out how bad things were for Vince and Mia and told us, and we all decided to come back, then if they were watching V and Mia they'd have them for aiding and abetting too. What judge or jury would believe Dom's own sister didn't know where he was the whole time?"

"I guess it would be hard to find one," Gem admitted reluctantly.

"Yeah, it would. As it stood, Mia was safe. They didn't have her doing anything wrong. There was no proof to connect her to any of it. We made sure of that all along. If Dom and Vince had had their way, Letty never would have been involved either, but she wouldn't hear of it. They didn't have any dirt on Jesse for that day either. He didn't come along because he was still running from Tran. So if Jesse had lived he would have been free and clear too. But not if they had us. If they had Dom, Letty and I than we were all doing ten to life for armed robbery, assault, grand theft, conspiracy to commit a felony, and the list of charges they could throw at us really does go on as long as my arm. I looked them all up."

"It was stupid not to have a plan for what would happen under these sorts of circumstances in the first place. If Mia had known that if the worst happened you guys would all have to run without contact until the heat died down, than at least she would have known what to expect."

"That's where Dom has a shortfall. He didn't see the worst ever happening. We pulled like five jobs or six and everything always went according to plan. He got cocky and we all got complacent."

"None of this makes what you did smart or right."

"It was wrong. I have to live with that every day of my life. My best friend got killed over it. Jesse was my cousin, my mother's brother's kid. I'll never be able to face my family again and I have to live with that for the rest of my life too. But it's not fair of you to be quick to forgive Vince his role and continue to hold the balance of blame against Dominic."

"I think it's perfectly fair," Gem argued. Why didn't Leon see just how fair it was?

"How do you figure, dawg?" Leon wished he hadn't called her 'dawg' the minute it left his mouth, but he couldn't call it back. Old habits were hard to break. She didn't seem to take any notice.

"Dominic was whole and healthy and able to run. Vince was in a hospital bleeding to death depending on machines to keep him alive. Jesse was dying from five bullet wounds to his torso. Dom had both their blood on his hands, figuratively and literally. Yet none of his own blood was ever spilt. He had Vince do the most dangerous part of his scheme and he chose that scheme over searching for Jesse. From what I've heard about Dom, it's just the two most selfish things he's done in a lifetime of being selfish."

"No matter what Vince has been telling you, he wasn't exactly opposed to the whole thing." Leon hated to fling any dirt onto Vince's character. Especially considering he was only there talking to Gem to try and convince her to hear him out. But he wasn't going to allow Vince to paint himself like an innocent in the whole situation when he wasn't. He sure hadn't heard a lot of protesting out of Vince. Not when Dom proposed the idea, not while they were doing the heists and not on that last night either. He'd just gone with the plan, just like the other five times. "He supported Dom at first, wanted to do it. Hell, it was Vince's idea. Dom really didn't know anyone like the kind of guys Vince had to know to get us hooked up for this sort of thing. They were guys that Vince knew. In the end Vince only put the idea in Dom's head but he never protested. Even that night he didn't have too much to say against it."

"The way I hear it Dom would have been counting on that because Vince hardly ever said no to his ideas and schemes."

"That's true enough, for the most part. But why is it ok that he went along with Dom's plan that night but it's not ok that we went along with Dom afterward?"

"It's not ok for him to have not done the right thing and backed out. But I'd say he got his punishment when he spent a month alone in the hospital wondering if he'd ever use his arm again and in so much pain it made someone like Vince wonder if he wanted to live. What was the punishment you guys got? A year's vacation on a beach in Mexico?"

"Living in fear of getting caught. Never knowing what was happening back home. Scared to death that V and Jesse didn't make it, that Mia was all alone."

"Oh boo hoo," Gem retorted sarcastically. He was looking for sympathy that his punishment was the issues that came with living life on the lamb when his friend had been dealing with callous indifference and barely humane treatment in the hospital because he had been taken for a criminal even without a trial, physiotherapy that he hated, scars that would brand what he had done to the world for the rest of his life. He definitely needed to go find another tree to bark up if he wanted sympathy. "That's a fate you chose for yourself by running away," Gem reminded as she forced herself to sit back down in her chair. Her pacing was making her crazy.

"We thought we were sparing them too." Leon across at Gem pleadingly. Why couldn't she see? Had Mia and Vince really soured her on the rest of the team that thoroughly? "It's not as fun as you're allowing yourself to think. It wasn't all fun and sun on a beach in Mexico. We still had to hide, lay low. Letty was hurt pretty bad. There was a time we didn't think she was going to make it out of a Mexican hospital. There isn't much healthcare in the area of Mexico we ended up in."

Gem was finding it hard to remain so callous with Leon. She instinctively liked him, for one thing, and for another he was being genuine with her. He really did know he'd done wrong, but he really had seen some logic behind it all at the time. Now he knew better, but hindsight was always twenty twenty.

But there was still the fact that he was still with Dominic, and half taking Dom's side of things right now. She shot a speculative look his way. Did he really hope to convince her that Dom deserved a second chance? Could he be that obtuse? She didn't think she was being coy with her feelings about Dom. A person would have to be oblivious to think that she of all people could be brought around to Dom's way of thinking.

"Is there going to be a point to this whole conversation?" Since she couldn't come up with a proper response Gem decided to try and bring Leon to his point. Or at least to a point that didn't almost make her feel bad for Dominic. She thought of the night at the beach when Vince had told her about the times he wondered if he really even wanted to live. It firmed her resolve.

"The point is me trying to convince you to at least talk to Vince about the real reasons he said what he did."

"I know why he said what he did. He was scared that he might look like less of a big tough man if Dom knew he was with a girl because he wanted to be, not because she threw herself at him after some car race."

Leon sighed with a shake of his head. She'd seen straight to the bone on that one. He just wished he could make her see the rest of the story too. The part she had figured out was such a small one. "I'll give you that there was that part of it. But there's more."

"Yeah, there's also the fact that Dom use to try and steal his girlfriends to 'test their loyalty' and Vince was scared Dom would get up to his old tricks and I'd fall for them."

"There might be some truth to that too," Leon admitted. He knew he wasn't helping himself but he couldn't bring himself to lie. He had a feeling she'd just see through it anyway. "But there was also the part where Vince figured that if he could just make Dom think there wasn't anything too serious between the two of you Dom would leave you alone because he wouldn't think it was worth his effort to try and come between you. Dom's attention can be very intense and Vince just wanted to spare you dealing with it."

Gem rolled her eyes. "Do all men think with such idiotic logic, or is it just the stupid ones with more muscles than brains who function like this. Dominic and Vince are like two slow peas from the same pod. Dom for being stupid enough to think like he does and Vince for letting Dom's stupid thinking get to him. Really, what was Vince going to do, stop talking to me the way we talked whenever Dom was around. He wasn't exactly an inattentive boyfriend."

Leon shrugged before pausing to stuff half of his sandwich in his mouth. He finished chewing and swallowed before continuing. "It might occur to you, if you stopped to think about it, how Vince came to think you would fall for Dom's shit. How hard it has to have been on him to watch girl after girl he's been with fall over themselves for Dom, even though they're with him and Dom's with Letty. I can speak from first hand experience because it's not only Vince Dom use to pull that shit with. Me'n Jesse had to deal too. I can't say I ever would have taken V's way out but who's to say I wouldn't either. I've never had a woman in my life I cared enough about to try and defend her against Dom. Mostly I'd just tell him more power to him if he wanted them and so would Vince. I think that's the point you're missing here. Misguided or not, Vince's heart was in the right place and he must have really cared about you if he put his neck out and took a chance on you finding out what he'd said just to potentially protect you from a hassle."

"All the whole scenario tells me is that Vince needed to stop dating race skanks ages ago and Dominic should have been altered at six months of age like every other alley cat that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce."

Leon shuddered at that thought. "That's cold."

"Reality's a cold place," Gem answered with a shrug. The last few weeks had left her cold in her lonely world. People could handle reality her way or leave her alone.

"You don't have a heart at all? Can't see where in this situation you might not be able to make everything cut and dried?"

"I have a heart. I'm just not going to roll over and take being crapped on because big bad Dom decided to roll into town and Vince decided that meant he had to go back to dancing attendance on him and allowing him to run his whole life."

"Vince hasn't been whatever you just said on Dom since we got back. Vince hardly speaks to any of us. He's never home. The last time Dom said anything to him Vince snapped his head off. The night you took off they had a stupidly huge fight on the lawn and Vince broke three of Dom's ribs."

"Well, you could have fooled me. He certainly picked Dom to impress, not me."

"I'm never going to convince you to see the other side of this whole situation am I?"

Gem shrugged. She didn't think there was another side to see. There was only what happened. And what happened wasn't something she could just overlook, wasn't something she could just forget, and wasn't something she was prepared to forgive based on the explanation she had received.

"Well, when you never get a chance to talk to Vince and work out what happened for real Dawg, don't say I didn't warn you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gem asked. Her eyes narrowed to suspicious slits and her tense posture gave away her anger.

It was Leon's turn to shrug.

"Don't you even dare imply that I'm the one who did something wrong here! My only crime was coming home from a long day of work to have the rug pulled out from under me by Dominic waltzing back into Mia and Vince's life and then as if that wasn't enough to hear my boyfriend, whom I happened to care a great deal about by the way, belittle something that I was living for. How are you going to put any of this on me?"

"I'm not putting anything on you," Leon said, his voice slightly raised in frustration. He could see what Vince meant about wanting to see Gem go head to head with Dom. Her cool logic was formidable. She had managed to argue the shit out of him, all without seeming to get really mad or raise her voice. "I'm saying that if, someday, you ever want to know exactly what Vince was thinking or going through you're never going to get to find out if he drinks himself to death in the mean time."

So now Vince becoming an alcoholic was her fault too? Oh no pal, you're not pinning that one on me. The blame for that one rests on the shoulders you see in the mirror, along with Dom and Letty, Gem thought. "Listen, when I met Vince if he wasn't an alcoholic he was well on his way. Getting involved with Indigo Sound seemed to give him something else to do with his time and he cut way back on his drinking. But he was broken when I found him. By some people who were supposed to be his best friends. I wasn't looking to put him back together, just trying to get him to stop driving drunk before he killed somebody. Where our relationship went from there was serendipity. If Vince is being a bad tempered, surly drunk then he's just back how I found him and I sure as hell didn't make him that way."

With a sigh, Leon surrendered. He wasn't going to change her mind. He turned to leave and seemed to find something else to say a few steps away. "If you could come by the garage some day and try to reassure Cory and Bill that they aren't going to loose their jobs I'd appreciate it. Me'n Letty know we couldn't run the place without them, not without Jesse, and Vince never comes down to the shop no more. They hate Dom and Dom's resentful of them. The damn shop is like a war zone and it's stressing out everyone."

"I'll try to get down to talk to them," Gem conceded. She liked Cory and Bill and it wasn't fair to leave them upset and bewildered over something they had no control over.

"Thanks," Leon answered, begrudgingly. "They really don't like Dom, and they don't trust me'n Lett."

"I can't really blame them, so I hope you're not here looking for sympathy."

She was a cold hearted woman, Leon thought. Whether she liked it or not, the whole situation wasn't easy on any of them either. Instead of fighting with her further he decided to just leave before things got any more out of hand. He crossed to the large awning covered front door and stepped down before walking around the corner of the building to where he'd hidden his Skyline.

Once Leon had gone, Gem sat down hard on her chair with a sigh. She felt bad for being so hard on Leon. He had simply followed along with Dominic instead of doing what was right. But perhaps in the heat of the moment what was right had been a little harder for him to see. He had likely had Dom yelling at him, had just found out Brian was a cop and had just seen Vince airlifted out of the middle of nowhere with life threatening injuries with Jesse, his little cousin still missing to god knew where.

"Leon, wait!" Gem called as she ran out around the counter and after his retreating form. He paused. "I'm sorry I'm being so hard on you. It's just that this has been really hard on me and Mia, ok? I mean, I'm not even from here and living with Vince and Mia was the first place that felt like home to me since I left San Francisco. Mia, Vince and I always figured that if Dom and Letty and you hadn't come back by a year after you left you weren't ever going to come back. So to find out we were wrong, and have Vince say all those things, and have Dom actually be every bit the jerk I'd built him up to be was a huge shock. And Vince's conduct was a huge letdown." Gem fought her need to babble due to her discomfort.

"I understand." And he really did. He had thought of little else the year he'd been on the run than getting home and finding out how everyone had faired. To get home and find out the answer was 'not good' had been a huge blow to him as well. "I miss the old Vince, the guy I knew before all the shit happened. And sometimes, when he talks about you, I see flashes of how he was back then. And then I have to watch as he remembers how things are now, and goes and gets another drink. I just think that if you two could get some closure on things at the very least it would be good for everyone."

"I just don't know, Leon. I don't think I work that way. It's a lot to ask of me, to open myself up to being hurt by Vince again."

"Maybe so, but I really don't think he wants to hurt you. He's just not very tactful."

"If we keep talking about what Vince is and isn't I'm just going to start another fight with you so maybe we better agree to disagree and drop it, ok?"

Leon held up his hands palms up to show his surrender. "Ok. If you come to talk to Cory and Bill I should see you then."

"Ok," Gem answered. "Leon?"

Her question paused him a few steps away. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad we talked," she admitted grudgingly.

"Me too, even if it doesn't feel like we accomplished much."

"You did make me think, even if you didn't change my mind."

With a nod Leon took up walking again and disappeared around the corner of the building. A moment later his car started with a well tuned roar and zipped off down the road. Gem returned to her seat behind the counter.

Her mind felt overfull, with words rushing over each other like water over a fall. She needed time to sort everything out. Her eyes came to rest on a small spot near the ceiling of the café and she zoned out, lost in her own thoughts. And that was how Mia found her some time later.

"Sorry I'm late! I got held up after class." Mia tossed her bag down in the office at the back of the café before walking back toward the front and entering the staff area behind Gem, who had yet to offer a reply. "Gem? You ok?"

Gem came out of her thoughts with a start. "Geese Mia, I didn't see you come in. Sorry, I was lost in my own little world."

"That's obvious. What were you thinking about?"

Gem sighed with a huff. "A conversation I had earlier with Leon. He just showed up here out of the blue."

Mia feigned nonchalance. "What did Leon want?"

"To see if he could talk me into talking to Vince. Apparently he's been drinking himself into a downward spiral since everything went down and Leon thinks that if we talked Vince might stop and move on with his life."

"Leon might have a point," Mia said delicately. She didn't approve of Gem running away from this problem and pretending it didn't exist.

"You agree with him?" Gem asked incredulously. "After everything Vince said and how you feel about Dom being back and Vince taking Dom's side you think I should give him another chance?"

"I didn't say that," Mia said placatingly. "I said that you should likely talk to him about what went down and try to sort it all out. Leon didn't tell you that you should get back together with Vince, he just said you should hear him out about what really motivated him to say what he said and act how he did."

"What if I don't want to hear it? What if I'd rather just get on with my life and leave it as it stands?"

More running away from the issue, Mia noted with a frown. She had had enough of it. "Then for God's sake do it and move on. Don't just pay it lip service and stay mired in depression and not doing anything to move on with your life. I think you and Vince getting everything out would only help both of you move on. If you don't think so than don't talk to him for crying out loud. But please do as you say you want to and move on!"

While Gem could honestly see where Mia was coming from, hearing it put so bluntly also hurt her still tender feelings. Instead of answering she stood up, scooped up her pens and notebook and headed for the door. "I have to go check on Cory and Bill. I told Leon I would."

"Gem, don't run off all mad at me because I was honest."

"I'm not mad," Gem said. Her tone was level and she turned to face Mia again as she said it. "I just want to get this visit to the garage over with. I don't really want to see Dom."

"Gem, I barely see you as it is. Please don't hold what I said against me. If you disappear any more than you already do it'll be like living with a stranger I never see. I'll only know you exist because food goes missing at night and your bed gets slept in." Gem's fake calm voice wasn't fooling her for a second.

Gem raked a hand through her hair. So Mia had noticed how much she avoided being home. "I'm sorry Mia. I really am. It's not that I don't want to see you. I've just wanted to be alone a lot lately."

"It's not healthy and it's obviously not helping you cope with the way you feel."

"I know. I'm going to try harder to get things back to normal. I really am. But first I have to go do this thing. So wish me good luck."

"What do you need good luck for?"

"So that neither Dominic or I end up dead if we see each other." Gem smiled ruefully. "I don't trust my ability to control my temper."

"In that case, good luck."

With a nod, Gem left the café and got in her car, driving down to DT feeling like she had ice water and not blood in her veins. Mia was mad at her for how she had been acting. There went her thoughts that she had been hiding it well. But that was just how she was. She had learned early to hide her hurt from the world.

In a lot of ways she was no better than Vince. Only she didn't drink. She hid from the world in different ways. She signalled her turn into the DT parking lot.

How was she going to cope with the situation if he was there? Not Dominic, as she had led Mia to believe. She could handle Dom easily enough. She would just ignore him until he left her alone. No, Dom being there was a given, so if she had a big problem seeing him she wouldn't go. It was Vince she was worried about running into. It was hard enough to see him for a few minutes on Thursdays. She really didn't want to see him in the broad light of day.

She took solace from the knowledge that if Leon needed her to go reassure Cory and Bill things were going to be ok it was because Vince wasn't around to do it himself. And that was the only reason why she was willing to go within fifty feet of the place. On that thought she pulled into the rear parking area and got out of the car, pushing her sunglasses farther up her nose and freeing her hair from behind her ears. She wanted to be free to use it to hide from Dom, Letty and Leon behind if the need arose.

She pushed into the shop and was assaulted at the door by smells that returned her to happier times in her mind. Gear oil, engine oil, axle grease, exhaust, and fuel all mingled together to form one cohesive scent. The trouble was it smelled like Vince did before he showered every day after work and reminded her of hanging out at the garage when it was just her and her boys. Now the place was filled with strangers. She almost turned right back the way she'd come and left. Just as she thought it Cory spotted her. With a whoop he dropped the filter wrench he'd been using and rushed her.

"Gem!"

She winced at his roar. Just what she wanted, attention drawn to her presence. "Hey Cory." She was being swung around in the air before she could continue to speak. Once her feet were again on terra firma she looked up at him. "How are you?"

Cory made a face. "I've been better. Where's Vince?" He cut straight to the heart of the matter.

"At this point your guess is as good as mine." Gem sighed. "I don't know what's going on with him Cory and that's the truth." Gem looked around. "Where's Bill?"

"He ran to Harry's to pick some stuff up. He should be back soon."

"Ok, good." Gem led Cory over to a quiet corner. She was aware of the stares she was getting from Dom and the glares she was getting from Letty. Why the Latin woman hated her so much she had never been able to determine. They had never met and had never spoken two words to each other. So how had Letty decided to hate her? What had she based her decision on? At least Gem had intimate knowledge of Letty's actions to base her dislike of the dark girl on.

"What brings you down to our little corner of hell?" Cory asked. He sneered when he said it.

It saddened Gem greatly to see Cory losing some of what made him, well, Cory. His good natured exuberance was a large part of him and he didn't seem himself when he lost it and turned instead to sarcasm. "I know things haven't been exactly what you're use to around here lately and I thought I'd check in on things."

"Not what we're use to?" Cory asked in an incredulous growl more than vaguely reminiscent of his absent idol. "How about all fucked up with no sign of normal in sight? Vince never comes around anymore. That Dom dude thinks he runs the place and that Letty chick just goes around snapping at everyone and thinking she runs the place. The only one I can stand is Leon and that's only because he knows he doesn't run the place and because the odd time Vince shows up he's the only one he'll talk to."

Gem floundered for what she was supposed to say to the troubled youth. She couldn't make the situation better for herself. How could she make it better for Cory? "Vince is going through some issues of his own right now Cory. How much do you know about the summer Vince's friends disappeared?"

"Just that they were into some really bad stuff and that one of V's best friends died over it."

The bell over the door tinkled just as Gem prepared to speak. She looked up to see Bill re-entering the shop. She motioned him over to join them. As he walked over his face slowly broke into a smile. "Gem! It's been too long."

"Good to see you Bill," she answered with a smile.

"How've you been Gem? You don't look so good."

"Gee, thanks," Gem answered with a wry smile. She knew he was right, she just didn't like having it pointed out so bluntly. She decided to answer the same way. "I've been a wreck. A literal mess. I guess from what Cory's been saying things have been similar around here."

"It's been a bit rough to adjust to the way Dominic wants to run the place," Bill admitted diplomatically.

"He doesn't fucken run the place at all. He shows up and pretends like he's too good to do most of the work," Cory interjected.

Gem couldn't even find it in her to be mad at him for his language or his bad attitude. He reminded her a little too much of Vince in a similar mood. Truly the protégé to the teacher. "It's always been that way, according to Leon." Gem took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to spit it out, ok?" She met both their eyes in turn and got nothing but their undivided attention in return. "Vince and I aren't together anymore. The night Dominic showed up Vince said some things I wasn't supposed to hear but I did. We split up over it and I haven't seen him since Mia and I moved out of the house back then."

"You what!"

"Excuse me!"

Gem was bombarded by disbelief from both sides. "My relationship with Vince isn't what I came down here to talk to you guys about. I just thought you should know so you understand a bit why Vince is taking the whole Dominic situation so poorly. And so you don't say anything that might set him off. You know how he can be."

"I use to. I don't have a god damn clue how he is lately."

"Cory, I know you're upset and likely worried what's going to happen to the shop now that Vince isn't running it anymore. But this is hard on everyone. Not just you and Bill."

Cory sighed. "I know it's harder on you and C than me and Bill but it still sucks. Vince was supposed to take me to race wars this year. That'll never happen now. He won't go racing downtown anymore either. And to top it all off he stuck us with the bald asshole to run the garage. He's just gonna fire me for sure and maybe Bill too."

"Hey, calm down," Bill said, patting Cory on the shoulder. "Coyote'll come around. He always has before."

"He's never had anything like this happen before. Besides, we didn't know it wasn't his garage. If it's really the asshole's than Vince has no say." Cory flopped back in his seat with a sigh and sat there, his face screwed up in a mix of a little boy trying not to cry, and a man trying not to flip out.

"Listen to me, ok?" Gem said softly as she put an arm around Cory's shoulders. He didn't shrug her off like she expected. He leaned into her instead and put his head down on her shoulder tiredly. Gem found it hard to remember Cory was only twenty, and a young twenty at that, because he truly did act more mature than his age most times. But he was really just a kid when it counted.

"You are both excellent mechanics. Bill for his general skills and you for your engine building. The two of you and Vince made this place into what it is. If you guys hadn't stepped up to the plate there would be no shop for Dominic to come back to because the bank would have foreclosed and taken it ages ago. No one is keeping you around as a handout. Over half the customers who are still coming here wouldn't be if they found out that you guys were gone and Vince wasn't working here anymore either. I have it from a good reliable source that your jobs are secure. If you want them. If you don't want to work for Dom than I guess the garage will just go under."

"You're joking right? I've seen the way he looks at us."

"I'm not going to try and convince you he likes the idea of needing to keep the two of you around because he doesn't. However, while he is an arrogant jackass, one thing he isn't is stupid. He knows that without the two of you he couldn't keep the garage open. Not without Vince and Jesse. He's just sour because he thought he'd be walking back into the exact same life he left and instead everything is different."

"I thought you said he wasn't stupid," Bill broke in. "If he wasn't stupid than he would have known there was no way time was going to freeze for a year when he left his sister and best friend without so much as a 'fair thee well'."

"I know that. But it's just how he thinks from what Vince and Leon tell me. Because of how full of himself he is he honestly thought that if he wasn't it in life couldn't really go on for Mia and Vince. He knew they'd continue to exist, but that they wouldn't really live until he got back. He's not stupid, he's just not very logical."

"If you say so," Cory rolled his eyes.

"Are you holding up ok yourself, Gem, with everything?" Bill asked in concern.

"Not really, no. But I'm going to make an effort. I want you guys to make one too. Try to make this work. Not just for yourselves but for Vince too. Someday, if he makes it back around, it would be nice for this place to still have some semblance of the place the three of you built together, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Cory admitted reluctantly and Bill nodded.

"Ok, good. That's what I came down here to talk to you guys about. You ever want to come see Mia or I for lunch you can. One of us is always at the café, ok?"

"We'll make an effort to visit more often," Bill assured.

"Ok, I should get going. I'll see you guys around." Gem started to leave the building. With an afterthought she turned back to Cory. "And if you ever want some company to go to races with you call me. Mia and I will be glad to go with you, if you don't mind hanging out with a couple of measly girls all night."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"Yeah, we're friends Cory. And since I finally have a car that wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb I wouldn't mind going as your cheering section."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Cory said. His face broke out into the first real smile Gem had seen from him since she arrived. Some of the old Cory was back.

"Do that. See you two later."

"Bye Gem," Bill called after her.

She escaped out into the sun with a wave. That went better than expected, she mused on a relieved sigh as she paused just outside the door. She hadn't run into Vince and the three people she couldn't stand hadn't felt the need to say anything to her. That went against everything she knew about Dom. He hadn't tried to stick his nose into her business at all.

She pushed her sunglasses on and up to the bridge of her nose before she started back toward her car. Home free.

"What are you doin' here?"

When the irate, slurred question was growled behind her she couldn't help the little scream of shock that escaped her as she spun around, hand to her throat. "Jesus Vince, you scared the hell out of me."

"Yeah, whatever. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting with Cory and Bill. They're worried about the shop and about you." She sniffed the air. "With good reason I guess. Is that liquor I smell off you?" She didn't need to wait for him to answer. The look in his eyes was answer enough. "My god Vince, it's only two pm. You're drunk already?"

"What's it to you?"

"What it is to me is that you just drove here, it's the middle of the afternoon, and you're drunk. Do you think I stopped caring about you in an instant because you hurt me? I don't want to end up getting the call that they scraped your car off a median V."

"What difference would it make? You're not too bent outta shape about what happened. You'n Mia in your perfect new place and your jobs that never changed. What'd you care what I do with my life? No one needs me around anymore. They don't need me here, they don't need me at home. Who cares if I get drunk in the afternoon?"

"God Vince, where did you get the idea no one needs you?" Gem took a risk and took a step closer to him. "Cory and Bill miss you like crazy from the garage. Dom is busy trying to run the place into the ground and he's making them miserable. They miss you V. They want you. None of us want to see you do this to yourself."

"Then get the fuck in your car and leave. Then you won't have to lower yourself to seeing me any more."

The state Vince was in was almost too much for her to take. But if she did as he said and just left, she was just making him right about her. "I know there won't be any reasoning with you when you're like this Vince, or I'd stay and try to talk some sense into your thick head. I know I've been avoiding you. It's not because I don't want to lower myself to being around you. It's because I didn't know if I could see you again and not relive every second of hearing you say what you said about me to Dom. And I can't. But I think we need to talk about it. I thought it would be best if we each just tried to move on but it's just not possible Vince. We need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about." Vince pulled the flask she had forgotten he even owned out of his jeans pocket and took a gulp.

"If that's true than why are you drunk in the middle of the day instead of at work?"

"I didn't say everything was ok, I said we have nothing to talk about."

"I don't agree with you."

He shrugged. "Don't recall asking you to."

"I want us to sit down and have a talk about things Vince. When you're sober."

"You'll be waiting a while for that day to come," he said. "Don't hold your breath."

"Ok, fine. Have it your way Vince. You always do anyway. But don't even think you're going to come around my job drunk off your trees and make trouble. That's my job, my livelihood and I won't have you messing it up for me because you feel the need to be a mean tempered, surly drunk to get back at me," she snapped at him in anger.

"They knew me before you did and I was going there longer. I'll go if I want to and there's not a damn thing you can do about it miss priss," he roared back.

"Oh you think?" Gem asked with a snarl of her own, starting to get really irate at him despite her resolution not to. She knew he didn't know what he was saying in his drunken stupor. That didn't seem to matter. She took a step closer and hoped she was taking a mean and intimidating posture. "There's lots I can do about it."

"Yeah, like what? What's a timid little thing like you gonna do if a mean, surly drunk like me wants to sit in a bar and get even drunker and surlier?" He was intentionally cruel, hoping to make her really mad and drive her farther away at the same time.

"I'll just have Barry kick you out. And if you come back I'll have him kick you out again. Don't think he won't do it either. When it comes down to it he'd rather have me work there than let you drink there and you damn well know it too. I'm the only waitress he's ever had that was willing to wait on you without a threat and he'd be just as happy if you never came around again."

"But then when Thursday night rolls around again and you're looking for someone to play guitar for you since god knows you can't do it yourself and you got me banned from the place, what are you going to do then? Then you wouldn't be just as happy if I never came around again."

His words took all the fight out of her. She looked at him with weary eyes. Enough was enough. There was no way to fix this. Holding out for him to come around was wasting time. He wasn't ever going to. Continuing to work with him on Thursdays was just prolonging the heartache. "To be honest Vince I'd rather do my songs without anyone playing guitar than deal with having you in my life even in that capacity if this is how you're going to talk to me, treat me. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Musically and personally. I thought you had changed your life around because of us and because of Indigo. But now you're just out to take your hurts out on the world and everyone in it again. I won't hang around and let you do it to me. I'd rather be able to hold you in my heart the way I remember you the night before Dominic came back than have to know you like this." She stood on her tip toes to kiss his stubbly cheek. There were tears in her eyes fighting to run down her cheeks but she wouldn't let them. "Take care of you, Vince. Thanks for everything, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I'll never forget you or anything you did for me. There's a great man inside you Vincent Castellani. I just hope you don't manage to kill him before you remember it again. If you ever find yourself sober and agreeable some day and you want to talk about things after all, you give me a call. Until that day, I really would rather remember my V than what you are today and have been since Dom came back to town." On that note she left his side before she could break down into the thousand pieces that were fighting to get free.

♫

Tell me so I can hold you in my soul, and if I go, I'll know.

The one person in his life he had ever, at any point, been sure was seeing the real him and liking him despite of it and without any desire to use him for something writing a song basically begging him to tell her he loved her outright because she knew the day they weren't together anymore was coming and wanted the memories to hold.

And he'd never even given her that. Had never told her out loud and had thought that showing her with actions was enough. Until the night he'd done the unforgivable and driven her out of his life forever.

He had watched her car drive off before it really hit him. She had put a final period to their time together. He had managed to make Gemmalynn Davis, the eternal optimist, give up hope for him. He was now swilling back what was left of the whiskey in his flask while leaned against the brick wall of DT sitting in the dirt.

Outside.

Alone.

Right back where she'd found him. On the outside looking in.

She'd finally done it. He was kicked out of the band. Funny, he'd always figured he'd quit before she ever told him he wasn't welcome anymore. He couldn't get the look in her eyes out of his mind. He'd done such a good job convincing himself she didn't miss him and just plain didn't care what happened to him anymore that he hadn't even wanted to see the truth when it was right in front of his face. Someplace in the deepest part of his heart, the part he wouldn't even admit to the existence of, he had figured and held onto the fact that Gem would never give up on him. She would always be there waiting for his apology when he came around, willing to accept it. But now she was done with him for good.

I'd rather be able to hold you in my heart the way I remember you than have to know you like this.

Her words wouldn't leave his head. He'd made her so sad she hadn't even finished fighting with him. He had known she wanted to. But she held back, kissed him good-bye and left before they could really get into it. Could really hurt each other. Well, worse than they already had.

And again, it was all his fault. Just another fuck up to add to the insurmountable pile. He wanted to go home. He stood and started to dig in his pocket for his keys. With a muttered curse he pushed into the shadowed interior of the garage instead. There was one thing he could give her. Today wouldn't be the day some cop called her up and told her that they just found his car driven over a cliff or smashed into bits on a highway somewhere and pulled him out of it dead.

He ignored Dom and Letty entirely and walked over to Bill instead. He wasn't all that steady on his feet. "Bill," he said and hiccupped loudly.

"Jesus Christ C, are you drunk?" Bill asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Very," he answered. "I gotta go lay down and I need a drive home."

"Ok, let's go then." Bill was floored by Vince's request but he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. He didn't want to be the one to tell the girls that anything bad had happened to their 'V'. He was just glad for the chance to keep him off the road in his condition at least this once.

He drove Vince home and promised to drop the Maxima off later with Cory before watching Vince make his unsteady way into the house.

How on earth was this going to work out?

♫

Gem left DT as quick as she could without making it obvious she was running away. Her first instinct was to run home or to some other place she knew there would be no one to see her so undone. Instead she turned the car toward Toretto's. She couldn't fix herself and damned if she was going to end up like Vince. She would turn to her friends instead.

She parked the car out front and was glad to find Mia alone with an open school book in front of her. She looked up when she saw Gem making her way into the café. "Gem, what's wrong with you?"

"He was there," Gem said as she sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter.

"Who, Dom?"

"No, I knew Dom would be there. I ran into Vince on the way out."

"You knew you were going to have to talk to him someday."

"Yeah, but he didn't want to talk. He was drunk when he showed up and he accused me of not caring about him and of being over him already. He was pretty awful and I told him he couldn't come to the Cobalt if he was going to be ignorant because I wouldn't have him making trouble for me at my job."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Then he told me that I had to let him come to the Cobalt because I couldn't play in open mic without him." Gem choked back a sob. "So I told him if I was going to hear more of the same and be treated so badly I'd rather he wasn't in the band anymore, would rather make do without him." She turned to Mia pleadingly with tears in her eyes. "What the hell did I do?"

"Some thing you should have done last week Gemmalynn. If you want to move on with your life you can't keep him half way in, half way out of it. Always with his foot in the door so you can't close it all the way."

"But now I won't even see him then and it'll have to be real Mia! Don't you see? Now it has to be real. We're not together anymore."

As her friend totally lost it Mia hugged her tight. She had pretty much known it was coming but it didn't make it any easier. "It's going to be ok though. You'll find someone else to be in the band. You'll meet other guys. I guess you were right from the beginning. A lot of this is my fault. I pushed you two together and you always told me that you didn't want to get involved."

"I lied. I wanted him from the minute he tried to scare me off in the Cobalt. I wanted him before I even knew you. I was always drawn to him, right from day one. And now it's all over. And it's all Dominic's fault," she wailed.

"No it's not," Mia corrected. "Dom did something stupid and wrong. But his coming home was just the catalyst for this. Vince's inability to just speak his mind and deal with his issues is at fault for your fight with him and for what he said to Dom. Dom's previous history with cheating and taking the boys girls to do it with doesn't help but Vince is the only one responsible for what Vince says. And you are the only one responsible for how you handle your reactions to both things. Something like this was bound to happen if Vince didn't make some real changes to how he reacts to the world."

Mia stood up and took Gem with her. "Come on, we're going home."

"We don't close for another three hours."

"Doesn't matter. Today we close now. I'm taking you home, we're making supper and we're going to talk this out until we've done all the talking about it we need to for you to start to move on past it and not wallow in it forever."

They both drank too much with dinner. There were two and a half empty wine bottles on the table. Gem finished the last of her hot fudge sundae and licked the spoon gleaming again.

"You know what we need to do now?" Mia asked suddenly.

"What?" Gem asked, somewhat unsteadily.

"Burn everything you have of his. It'll be symbolic and give you closure. I did it after Brian and it really did help."

Gem thought for a moment. "Ok, I'll go get it all. Where are we going to do it?"

"Waste paper can on the fire escape?"

Gem nodded her acceptance and headed for her room. She picked up several small things that had been given to her by Vince and all the pictures she had with him in them. Finally she went and got his undershirt out of her drawer. It hadn't been washed since she had left the house and was the most poignant reminder she had of him. She piled all the other things on the top of the shirt and turned to leave the room. When she looked down at the pile of items in her arms a picture Vince trying to smear her nose with sun block as she fought valiantly not to let him, both of them laughing, stared back up at her. It was her favourite picture of him. He looked so happy, innocent and care free. Mia had snapped it at an unguarded moment because normally Vince wasn't one for having his picture taken.

Before she could change her mind she put the picture and the shirt away at the very back of her closet. She was a woman letting go. But she wasn't sure she wanted to let go all the way just yet. With a determined exhale she met Mia on the small fire escape and they burned the rest of her items. She cried. So did Mia. Gem knew symbolically they were both letting him go. Were both acknowledging that at this point, neither could afford to have him in their lives if they wanted to have lives to live.

It came as quite a shock when the doorbell rang at ten o'clock that night. Mia got up to answer it. They were just watching Pretty Woman on the movie channel before bed and a visitor was the last thing they expected. The visitor being Gem's brother Doug was even less expected.

"I hope I'm not intruding. I was just in town on business and thought I'd go say hello to Gem only to find out the two of you no longer live at your old house." It was clear from the look on Doug's face he didn't know if he should be angry or concerned about the fact Gem hadn't informed him of her move.

"Gem!" Mia turned around to face the living room. "You didn't tell your family we moved?"

Gem only shook her head no, biting her bottom lip to try and stop it from trembling.

"Why not?" Mia asked incredulously. How could Gem not tell her mom and dad she had a new address and a new phone number?

"I didn't want to tell them why," she answered quietly.

"Why?" Doug asked menacingly. He had a feeling it would involve something the Neanderthal she previously lived with had done.

"Because I knew you'd flip out and I don't need it right now."

Doug walked farther into the room. "What do I have to flip out about Gem?"

"Nothing I guess. You'll only be thrilled. Vince and I broke up. He was everything you said he was, you were right. You happy now?"

"No I'm not happy." Doug sat down beside his sister. "I want you to be happy and you're not. I'm not happy to see you so upset. Why did you break up with Vince?"

Slowly the whole story came out. It was her brother. Sure, he was overprotective and far too analytical for his own good but he was still her brother. He was totally on her side and didn't even know Vince. Didn't like him. He let her just spill it all and didn't interrupt once. Gem was aware of her surroundings enough to be thankful for it.

"So I told him that I never wanted to see him again so I wouldn't have to remember him the way he's acting now and Mia and I just had a bonfire of all his stuff we had in the house." Gem finished, her head pillowed on her older brother's shoulder.

"Wow, sounds like quite a night." Doug was unsure what else to say. He was trying to err on the side of caution about this topic. If he passed a judgement on any of it he thought she might just break down or blow up at him and he wanted neither.

"That's all you have to say."

"I have lot's more to say but I don't want to say any of it right now. None of it is very flattering toward Vince and I don't want you to get mad at me."

"Why would I get mad at you for talking down about Vince when I just spent the last," she glanced at the clock, "hour calling him down to the lowest?"

"I know you Gem. He wronged you so you're allowed. He wronged Mia so she's allowed. It didn't concern me so the second I pass judgement on him you're going to rip me a new one because I don't have the right."

Gem looked up at Doug in shock. He was right. But how did he know.

"I've known you as long as you've known yourself Gem. I even understand I guess. I wish I knew what to say to you little sis. Nick would be better for you right now but I guess you're stuck with me this time."

"You did enough just listening to me Doug. For once it feels like you really heard me and didn't try to change me or change how I feel or think. I don't wish you were Nick."

"I always knew that you and Nick were closer Gem. I won't say it doesn't bother me but I guess I always just told myself it came with the territory. You two are so alike and closer in age. I'm sorry that I wasn't the brother you needed me to be."

"Who says you weren't?" Gem offered. "I can have two different brothers. You don't have to be just like Nick for me to love you. Just like I don't have to be just like either of you guys for you to love me. I'm glad you took the high road and didn't call Vince down. It's enough to know that you want to."

"Oh," Doug cracked his neck. "Do I ever."

Gem managed a smile. It felt good to unburden herself to her family and friends for a change and not try to deal with everything on her own. "Man it's late."

"Yeah, I should go. I still have to find a hotel room."

"Why don't you just crash on the couch? Mia won't mind."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Doug retrieved his stuff from his car and they went to bed.

♫

When Gem woke up and wandered out of her room the next morning behind a gallivanting Allegro, who wouldn't sleep anywhere else but her bed it was to find Mia and Doug chatting amicably over coffee. Gem poured herself a cup before joining them at the table. "You didn't open this morning?" she asked Mia.

"Didn't feel like it. Thought we might take your brother and show him around some of the L.A. sights if you feel like it."

"Sounds fun. I'll get ready."

The weekend flew by and before she knew it she was preparing to spend all day working at the café for Mia because it was Monday. Oh, how she loathed Monday. It was especially hard because she and Mia had spent the weekend playing tourists with Doug and had actually had a really fun time. But now it was like the mini vacation was over and it was back to the work a day world. And back to all her memories of how different her life was.

She had been planning to revamp and finish a song she started back in high school for her performance this week. Now she didn't know how to rework it so that she didn't need anyone to play guitar. She really didn't think there was a remote chance the song wouldn't suck without a guitarist and so far the only response to her ad had been from people who sounded shady or from amateurs who honestly couldn't handle the situation of Indigo Sound and just didn't have the experience she was looking for.

The fact there was no money to be made didn't help either. She was looking for a pro player willing to work for the hope that one day they'd be discovered and make their money then. It was a bigger leap of faith than most people who matched her requirements seemed willing to make. It was obvious she wasn't going to be satisfied with anyone because she was looking for another Vince and there just wasn't one. His talent and attitude made him one of a kind. He was her music and she still didn't know how she was going to separate the two. Thus, this week's song writing effort wasn't going well.

"Shit, when I told you to talk to Vince I didn't tell you to make him worse," Leon said as he sat down at the counter.

"Tact isn't exactly your middle name, is it?" Gem asked acerbically in answer to his question without looking up.

"He was worse this weekend than I've seen him since we got back. Only point of light in the whole thing was the fact that he had us chauffeur him around instead of driving himself.

Gem forced herself to shrug. "That's something at least."

"What went down between you two?"

"I never went looking for him to be honest. I went to talk to Cory like I told you I would and he showed up. He was already drunk in the middle of the afternoon and angry at the world. He took it out on me and made some threats so I kicked him out of the band."

"Sorry, come again. The band?"

"He had been playing guitar in the band I'm in. He made some threats about not playing for me anymore out of spite so I told him if that was how he felt about it I didn't want him in Indigo anymore anyway."

"So that's what set him off." Leon looked up at her earnestly. "Is there any chance you'd talk to Dom? See if you guys could reach an understanding? I think if you tried to get along with him it would help the whole situation. If Vince could see you two getting along maybe he'd try harder to too."

"There isn't a chance in hell I will ever try to get along with Dominic Toretto or understand what he did." Her tone was final.

"Wouldn't it be better if we could all get along?"

"Maybe but it's not going to happen. Listen, don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change my mind. I won't have a selfish jerk like Dom in my life."

"But think about it. Everything could be better if we weren't like two families split down the middle."

"It's a nice dream, but dreaming doesn't do anyone any good. I'd rather face facts and move on."

Leon stood up. "Ok. I had to try. See you." He left with a half hearted wave over his shoulder.

Leon was cool and she liked him. But he was a bridge to a time and place she was going to have to burn. She didn't see how she could be his friend but still hate him, Dom and everything their leaving had caused and still represented. It wasn't even like Dom had ever admitted he had done wrong. Hell, he hadn't even seemed to think he'd done wrong.

♫

The rest of the week seemed to fly by. Gem knew it was because she had a song written. A song which assumed she would have a lead guitarist. And she knew she would not. So the week rushed past her so the moment of her humiliation could come all the swifter.

She spent the week listening to a lot of John Mayer, Fiona Apple, and Nora Jones trying to become calm. It didn't really work. And since there were a lot of songs centered around relationships on all the albums of those artists, she never had Vince far from her mind.

She never had Leon and his attempt to bring her around to seeing his side, and therefore Dom's side of things far from her mind either. Much to her chagrin she couldn't decide if she was being a fool not to do as he said and have it out with Dom, or if she would be a fool to do so.

She knew one thing for certain. Dom was so use to getting his way and so used to having everyone pander to him that he couldn't take her. She didn't see his way and wouldn't allow him to retain his delusions that his way was only what he deserved. It was likely better for all concerned that they never talked. Everything they had to talk about lay like an unsurpassable chasm between them. She couldn't see it Dom's way, and she had a feeling he wouldn't even try to see it her way. So what did they have to talk about?

Barry had given her the first half of the night off as a modified stress leave. She was hiding in the green room, waiting for her friends to show up. She hadn't even had the courage to break the news to them that she'd 'fired' Vince. She didn't know how they were going to take it. She'd done a pretty good job of pretending she was ok with him still being in the band and then she'd gone and told him he wasn't welcome anymore. She hadn't even consulted Elliott and Tamica first. She had just acted out of the moment and done what she felt she had to do.

Sitting on the burnt orange couch in the spiffy red dress Mia had made her wear, saying it would bring her cheer was where her friends found her when they rolled in at seven.

"What are you doing back here already?" Elliott asked as he tossed his messenger bag down on the chair.

"Yeah, you don't normally come back here until seven thirty. What's up?"

"We need to talk," Gem said as she looked up from her hands to meet both their gazes.

"Sounds like trouble," Elliott observed as he walked over to the couch and sat beside Gem. "What's the trouble Gem?"

"We're going to have a hard time playing tonight," Gem started. She was unsure how to continue.

"Why? Couldn't write anything?" Tamica guessed. "It's ok. You haven't been in the most creative mindset lately. We'll reprise something we haven't done since the beginning. It'll be ok. You'll write other songs. When you feel more up to it."

"Well, thanks for being so supportive Tamica, but I wrote a song. But in the interim I also had a fight with Vince and told him he wasn't welcome here anymore. So we have no one to play guitar. I brought mine, but even if I could play it this song doesn't work for acoustic, let alone for me playing it. It needs to have bass and lead. Without both it's not even half a song. And I'm so sorry I broke up the band without talking with you guys first."

"Gem," Tamica sat down on Gem's other side. "You didn't just break up the band girl. You broke up with your man and felt like you couldn't have him around. It's a little different. We won't play tonight. No biggie. There are other guitarists in the world you know."

"I do know that. I even placed an ad to find one. But I only got a few calls and half of them were creeps. The rest were high school kids who have level one or two at most. At worst some of them couldn't even read music and had to learn by ear. The few I heard were horrible. There isn't an adult guitarist in this city who wants to play one gig a week for free. At least, not one who isn't totally strange or too young to be in the Cobalt without their parents. There might be other guitarists but there isn't another Vince and everyone who I put up against him just falls very short. No one can hold a candle to him musically."

"Gem, we'll work it out. I might know some people I can ask. It's going to be ok and it isn't your fault," Elliott tried to reassure his friend. "Like Tam says, we just won't go on tonight. We'll have a whole week to work on the problem and if worse comes to worse you'll just have to try and write songs for acoustic and take lessons."

"We're too good to let this stop us. We're still three out of four here Gem. That's not so bad."

"You guys are too good for me, you know that?" Gem said as they all fell into a group hug. "Maybe it will be ok."

"Sure it will. I'll go tell Nalia not to call us tonight." Tamica stood up to leave the room.

"Can I have a moment to talk to Gem before you do that?" Vince asked from the door.

"Not a chance!" Elliott answered.

Gem looked at Vince. "It's ok Elliott. Just hold off a moment on talking to Nalia and I'll find you by the bar in a few. We'll tell her together."

"Ok. If you're sure you're ok with this."

"I'm fine." No she wasn't. But she also wasn't going to make a huge scene in the middle of her friends and her job. She wasn't terribly impressed that Vince had just disregarded her request to stay away from her job and find someplace else to get drunk. Had he figured her for joking? She would soon disabuse him of that notion. She was dead serious. He wasn't coming up in her job and embarrassing her. Not to mention airing their private business in public.

Elliott and Tamica left the room reluctantly, leaving Gem and Vince looking at each other nervously. Gem noted he had his guitar case in his hand. She finally met his eyes with a pointed glance at his left hand. She waited for him to explain himself.

"I'd like it if you let me play until you replace me. It's not fair to everyone else or to you for you guys to not get to play because we broke up. I can keep to myself long enough to play one song."

"It's not that I doubt it Vince. I just really don't want you in my life in any capacity if I'll never know when you could turn on me."

"I swear I'll play and I'll leave. I'm dead sober right now and if it's what you want I won't hang out and drink here anymore Gem." He ran a hand into his hair. The disarray of it appealed to her like it always did but she hardened her resolve. "Just let me do this thing for you. And for the other guys. I'm here already and I have my guitar."

Gem sighed. "I don't want to owe you any favours Vince." She cut to the heart of the matter. Her biggest worry about letting him back in, even just for half an hour. At her words his eyes took on a genuine hurt.

"I'm not offering so you'll owe me a favour. I'm offering because I know it's the right thing to do. So just let me do the right thing for once. Ok?"

"I'll have to go ask Elliott and Tamica what they think. I cut you without asking them and I shouldn't have. But now that they know why and agree with it I won't reverse the decision without their input."

He nodded his agreement and she left him alone in the room.

After a conversation with Elliott and Tamica they agreed to allow him to play with them. Mostly because they really wanted to play and knew it could take weeks to find someone skilled enough to take his place. The marched into the room together, Gem out front with one of her friends on either side.

"We've decided that if you really want to play tonight we'd like to have you," Gem said. "However, there are going to be some ground rules."

Vince looked upset about that, but he held his tongue, indicating for her to continue with a nod.

"If you're going to drink, you will do so elsewhere after we're done. You will not get drunk in this bar and take your bad moods out on Barbara or embarrass the rest of us in this place where we play and see the same patrons week after week."

"Agreed," he bit out.

"We have a professional relationship. This doesn't mean that I've forgotten anything that was said the last time we talked."

He nodded tensely again.

"If, because you've chosen to stay part of this band you hear some things I've written that you don't like or don't agree with you'll keep it to yourself. I write about my life. I can't help it if you don't like my opinions or how I see my life. I won't argue with you about any of it."

"Anything else?" He ground out.

"That about covers it," Tamica answered.

"Fine. Give me my music."

With a shrug Gem handed it over. She hadn't expected him to agree to all her points. She had been purposefully overly strict and harsh. She thought that her intent had been to drive him away for her own mental health. She wasn't sure if she was glad or upset it hadn't worked. She also knew she was in for it from Mia when she found out that she had allowed him back in.

She would have tried to add on another rule about not telling Mia that he was playing with them again, but she was pretty sure that Mia would show up to see them play like she always did. So there was no sense trying to keep it from her.

Nalia called their name and they took the stage. For once Gem didn't try to see who was in the audience on her way onto the small stage and was glad the footlights stopped her from being able to see anyone who wasn't sitting in the front row.

All the regular patrons of open mic night were clapping for one of their regular crowd favourites. They were oblivious to how close they had come to loosing Indigo Sound from their Thursday night listening experience.

Sitting at a table at the back were two people who had not that comfortable ignorance. Mia was sipping on a glass of white wine while Leon nursed a golden Corona at her side. "I can't believe I agreed to let you come with me," Mia said to Leon as she watched Gem plug in her bass.

"Well, thanks anyway. I can't believe that Vince wants to do this so much he actually came and said he was sorry to her so she'd let him."

"I think you just don't know Vince anymore. He comes around to realizing when he's wrong now. It just still takes him longer than most people and he hates to say he's sorry even more than most people too. All I can say is Gem better send him packing. She knows better than to let him back into her life with involvement in something as important to her as her music."

"I don't think she'll ever forgive him," Leon offered with a sigh. He had tried but he could see that his efforts were going to be in vain.

"I don't either. I don't know if I think she even should. Not if he's going to go right back to hiding behind Dom as an excuse not to live his own life."

"He hasn't. He barely says two words to Dom in the run of a week. It's painful to watch. He's the same with Letty. I know I got off light."

"If you're so mad at Dom than why don't you and Vince leave him like Gem and I did?" Mia put Vince's own question into words.

"What would he do then?"

"Dom?"

"Yeah, Dom. He's barely on speaking terms with Letty. If we left he'd be all alone."

"You mean like he left Vince and I? Why is that such a big deal when it's Dom?"

Leon hung his head in shame. "I don't know. I guess since I've been worrying what Dom thought about everything for so long."

"Look how well that worked out."

"Point taken. I think they're about to start to play." Leon gestured to the stage. Mia looked toward her friend and away from Leon.

"Welcome to another open mic night here at The Cobalt Café," Nalia started off the evening. "Back to open yet another one for us is our very own Gem Davis with the band Indigo Sound. Gem," she gave the floor to the blonde woman dressed in red with the electric blue guitar slung over her shoulder.

"Hello again everyone and thanks for coming out to the Cobalt." Gem adjusted the mic stand and smiled out at the crowd. Mia could see it was forced but figured the rest of the people wouldn't know a thing. "We're going to kick the evening off for you with a number not quite as subdued as the ones you've heard from us lately. So without any further adieu, I ask you to 'Consider This'."

The song started on a loud, rock and roll drum rift from Elliott. He pounded out several beats before Gem played a chord on her bass. Immediately afterward Vince played the same chord a few octaves higher on his own guitar. It sounded very much like the two guitars were fighting and back talking each other. This happened a few times before they played two separate things at the exact same time, as though having a heated argument.

Gem had done something she knew was slightly insane right before she went on stage. She had changed her lyrics. The first part of the song hadn't ever been quite right to her, she'd just liked the music enough to call enough, enough. But after she had let Vince back into the band, even on a temporary basis, the real first verse had just popped into her head. So she'd substituted it. Not like anyone would ever even know. She still didn't share her lyrics with them beforehand. Nope, she could only read her diary out loud once a night.

"I've tripped again and things are starting to get interesting. Don't give me choices 'cause I can't decide. My mind is soaked in words. I've come to terms with all my insecurities and purity's no friend of mine.

"And dreamin' doesn't do no good cause I don't want to lie that I'm ok and I'm alright. I'd rather take it and forget it.

"Consider this a warning."

♫

Mia recovered her shock of seeing Vince back up on stage with Gem about when she realized what I've tripped again and things are starting to get interesting meant. And she was damn right she had tripped by letting Vince back into her life when she had sworn he was finally out. Stupid girl! What was her problem?

"Cause I'll start another fight and you'll say it's all alright. I wait for the day that you find I'm too much for you baby. So lay your hands over me and feel what you only see but don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me."

The guitarists went into another battle of wills. The bass growled and the guitar sassed back. To most of the audience it was simply some very clever writing. To a handful of people in the know, it was much more. A symbolic battle of wills on stage.

♫

From a dark corner close to the door Dom watched the best friend he'd ever known play in a band that wasn't some foolish metal cover. For as long as he'd known him Vince had always had the need to have a guitar in his hands. At every party they'd ever thrown there was ol' Coyote sitting in the corner playing rifts he just made up as he went along. But the musical gift that Vince had been given hadn't been put to such good use in forever.

It was a different man on stage than the one Dom remembered leaving and a different man than the one who stumbled home in a stupor every night and never spoke to anyone anymore. Why couldn't he be that Vince every day and not just on stage for a mere ten minutes one night a week?

Because someone did something that broke him. And then after he had found a normal woman to care for him, someone came back again and did it all over again because someone is everything they accused him of being, he just won't let himself see it even though he has always known it's true.

Dom could pinpoint the moment it occurred to him that he wasn't shouldering his share of the blame for how badly things had fallen apart around his house. He hadn't been right to just barge back into their lives after so long apart. He hadn't done the right thing by keeping his sister and friend in the dark about his plans, location, and the fact he was ok. That Letty and Leon were ok.

When had he become such an arrogant asshole?

When had he stopped putting his family first?

He took them all for granted. Even Letty. Letty, who stuck by him no matter what and never left his side. Oh, she threatened that she would and told him what an ass he was. But she never left him. He gave her every reason and still she stayed. It was her tenaciousness, but it was more than that too.

He had asked her once, back in the summer before everything went wrong, if she was going to stick by him. The answer she had given him was "maybe" but the answer in her eyes had been 'forever'. And she'd held to the answer in her heart, not the careful one she'd given him out loud. She could have left him any time. Could have gone running back to Mia. She had known Mia would have her back with open arms. She could have had any guy she wanted too, if she had kicked his sorry ass to the curb. But she hadn't. He had made a stupid decision and she had stuck by him through it.

And how did he repay her? By breaking her family into even smaller pieces and shitting all over her. All they did was fight. He had less of a relationship with Letty than he did with Vince. And that was certainly saying something powerful because he and Vince didn't have a relationship to speak of. They were worse than strangers. Strangers didn't hate each other. But Dom was fairly certain that Vince hated him. Maybe hated himself just as much, but each of those things hurt Dom equally. He had gone from being such a good friend to Vince that they would have picked each other and their friendship over almost anything else to someone he was fairly certain Vince would just shoot, shovel and shut up about-had he thought Dom was even worth the effort of shovelling a six foot two grave over.

He had some changes to make. He was going to start with the most important one. The way he was treating the woman at his side, who'd stuck by his side, and was continuing to stick with him. He draped an arm over her slim shoulders and pulled her close to his side to show he wasn't marking territory, that he wanted her close. "They're good, aren't they?"

"Of course they are. They've got Vince." She answered with absolute faith in her childhood friend. Whether he was talking to her or not didn't matter to Letty. She and Vince had been like brother and sister ever since she'd started tagging along behind them when they were all kids.

Dom leaned down and kissed the top of her head with a smile. He noticed Mia and Leon. "Want to go see if they let us sit with them without telling us to go to hell?"

"They wouldn't tell me to go to hell anyway. But we could give them a chance to accept you," Letty answered with a shadow of her trademark cheek.

He chuckled and they went over to the table where Leon and Mia sat. They got a dirty look from Mia but she didn't say anything. Maybe she sensed the new found awareness from Dominic, or she just didn't want to make a scene. Either way he was glad she let him sit at their table with Letty on his lap and just enjoy the music.

"You're kinda cool but I know better than to break the rules of messing with a lesson that I'll never learn. I'll go from bad to worse and later back to better but I'll never better bridges that I'm bent to burn. And dreamin' doesn't do no good cause I don't wanna lie that I'm ok and I'm alright I'd rather take it and forget it.

"Consider this a warning.

"Cause I'll start another fight and you'll say it's all alright. I wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you baby. So lay your hands over me and feel what you only see but don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me.

"And this is a warning. Ah ah ah oh oh oh oh

"This is a warning. Ah ah ah oh oh oh oh

"This is your warning.

"Dreamin' doesn't do no good cause I don't wanna lie that I'm ok and I'm alright. I'd rather take it and forget it.

"Consider this a warning.

"Cause I'll start another fight and you'll say it's all alright. I wait for the day when you find I'm too much for you baby. So lay those hands over me and feel what you only see. But don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me.

"If you're trying to change me.

"If you're trying to change me.

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh whoa."