Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything therein. No profit was made, etc. etc. etc.
Chapter Seven
Remus had awoken early, taking great care not to wake Severus who was still very much asleep, showered, and dressed before the sun had risen. He fully intended to sneak out of Hogwarts before anyone else was roused from sleep and began their day outside the confinement of their chamber walls. Though he had planned to return well into the night, after the Prefects had retired to bed with their eyelids heavy with fatigue, Remus had not expected to be returning to the dungeons within twenty minutes of his departure.
Severus, who was sitting by the fire swathed in a deep green robe, looked up from the book he cradled in his hands and raised an eyebrow. "Back so soon?" He asked, looking quite surprised.
Sighing heavily, Remus shrugged off his cardigan and sank into the chair opposite his companion. "I was making my way down the hall when she trudged by, clearing her throat loud enough to wake the dead. So I hid." He recalled bitterly. "I thought maybe I could wait until she passed by, but she dallied and took to inspecting the walls."
"She's quite a peculiar woman." Severus agreed.
"Well, it's not safe to go now." Remus added, resigning to the fact that he was, for the moment, stuck.
The Potions master's eyes fell upon his book once more. He took a brittle page in his hands and gingerly turned it. "She'll be gone soon enough. For now you're just going to have to stay put."
"I suppose I will. Stuck..." Remus remarked to himself, animosity towards Umbridge drenching his tone with a rich angry sarcasm.
Severus frowned deeply. "Well then, you'll have to excuse the fact that I'm not the best of company to be stuck with." He returned in a similar tone, all of his emphasis on the word Remus had used previously.
The lycanthrope flinched inwardly, looking crestfallen as realization dawned. Perhaps Severus had taken what he had meant to be frustration at the biased woman who had inadvertently become a jailer and interpreted it as Remus saying he did not appreciate or enjoy the Potion master's company. "I didn't mean it like that..." He said in a quiet, almost feeble tone.
Turning another page, Severus scowled. His black eyes remained on the page unmoving and cold. He let a long, sharp sigh squeeze through his pursed lips. The man said no more, simply sitting as if immobilized by an unseen force. After a few long, tense moments passed, Severus stood and retreated into the bathroom. He showered and readied himself for class in stony silence, something that pierced Remus to his very core.
He had not meant to offend his companion as he apparently had. Dolores Umbridge always seemed to get the better of his temper, and Remus had never before made any attempt to restrain his bitterness towards her. Perhaps, he thought now, this had been a mistake. The lycanthrope considered himself to be a reasonable, even man. However, he was silently reevaluating that. Maybe he had been wrong. Remus was not sure; all he knew was that there was a hot, painful tightness in his chest whenever he thought about having grievously offended Severus.
Emerging from the restroom fully clothed and scowling as furiously as ever, Severus gathered his teaching materials, never once looking in Remus' direction. He pocketed his wand and picked up a few textbooks, idly thumbing through them and then casting them aside.
"Severus?" Remus asked softly. The Potions master did not respond or make any indication that he had heard the lycanthrope's inquiry. "Severus?" He repeated again, a little louder. "Severus?"
"I'm sure you're aware that I'm not deaf." Severus returned coolly. He stopped what he was doing, looking at him for the first time with his dark, flashing black eyes. "What do you want?"
Remus blinked. "I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry." He began. "I didn't mean it like it sounded. It wasn't you..."
Severus' scowl remained, his face etched with heavy lines. "I was under the assumption that you were able to restrain yourself enough to prevent bitterness from getting the best of you. Perhaps I was mistaken."
The lycanthrope hung his head slightly in shame. "Perhaps I was too." He agreed softly.
Falling silent for a moment, Severus sighed. "Bitterness is a lonely friend, Remus." The Potions master said finally, sounding as if he were speaking from experience. His words were softer though he was still frowning. Looking into the depths of Severus' fathomless eyes, Remus thought he saw nothing but loneliness. However, he thought, it could have been his own he was seeing then. "Learn not to take it by the hand and befriend it before it's too late." Severus finished, almost regretfully. Before Remus could open his mouth to ask him what he meant, the Potions master pursed his lips. "I'll be back tonight." He announced before exiting the chambers.
Remus did not attempt to leave the castle the rest of the week. He contented himself to reading Severus' collection of textbooks and making careful conversation with the Potions master. As many of the students returned home for the Christmas Holidays, Severus had more free time to spend as he saw fit.
Their days together began consisting of academic pursuits and light, comfortable conversation. Severus started brewing several different potions while Remus did research for the Order. They chatted lightly at first over dinner and in between heavy sessions of silent concentration. Then, after a while, the two companions seemed to grow a bit more comfortable with each other. It was as if both men suddenly came to the realization that conversation and company was something that they had indeed been longing for. They began speaking as friends and by Saturday they had made plans to venture out into Hogsmeade Village together. Remus was grateful at the idea of an outing full of fresh air and sunshine. He was sure Severus was glad of the company but the Potions master would never admit it.
Sneaking out of the castle had proved to be relatively easy this time. Dolores Umbridge and every other living creature in the castle seemed to still be sleeping. Remus guided Severus through the abandoned halls and out of the castle grounds with ease, grinning from ear to ear. There was a light airy feeling in his chest as he entered Hogsmeade and glanced at his reflection in the window. Severus was by his side, and it appeared to Remus, for the first time, as if the Potions master was meant to be there beside him. They looked comfortable and cheerful as companions, Severus in his long black robes and Remus in his warn cardigan and threadbare scarf.
They walked through the streets peering through windows, browsing, weaving in and out of stores, and sharing conversation about Christmas, which was the next day. Remus thrust his hands in his pockets, idly fingering a hole in the seam as he spoke. "What do you usually do for Christmas? Do you have any family to celebrate with?" He asked. Their budding friendship allowed the lycanthrope to hold deeper conversations with Severus now. Remus could ask him things he had never dared ask before.
"No, I don't." Severus returned with a faint scowl. His facial features, Remus noticed, were a lot soften than they had been, perhaps signifying that the Potions master was getting comfortable with him. "My father left long ago and my mother is dead. So I just ignore Christmas."
Remus frowned. "No presents or anything?" He asked.
"It's just another day on the calendar, Remus." The Potions master said as they entered a clothing store. He took a pair of black socks in his hands and inspected them carefully. "Have you any family to celebrate with? Or have you come to ignore Christmas too? I should say not, by the tone of your voice when you asked earlier." He speculated.
The lycanthrope shook his head. "I always celebrate Christmas. It's mostly just me, though. And, I go years without presents, though I regularly enjoy Molly's sweaters." He smiled softly. "My father disappeared when I was quite young, and my mother was never the same afterward. She got sick and passed away shortly after I graduated." Remus said, fingering a grey cardigan absently as he spoke. "I suppose that's something else we have in common."
Though their friendship was quite new, it seemed to Remus as if it had been a long time in coming. They were more comfortable with each other than new friends were. Perhaps it was because they had seemingly taken small steps towards a friendship many times over the years prior to then. Both men were amazed to find out that they truly had many things in common. Remus had once remarked it was a shame they had not known about their commonalities sooner. Severus had replied to that with a half smile and a soft chuckle.
"Should I assume, then, that you'll be celebrating Christmas this year?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow at the lycanthrope.
"We should celebrate it," Remus said, pausing to appreciate how perfect the plural noun sounded, "together."
Severus gave a mock scowl. "Just tell me you don't sing Christmas carols all day. I won't be joining you, I don't sing." He returned, making his way through the aisles of men's clothing, eyeing them as he walked by and out onto the street once more.
"I don't sing carols." Remus returned, playfully toying with the idea. "But it would be something to hear you sing." He joked lightly.
"I don't sing." Severus repeated firmly.
Remus chuckled as they continued walking. Being out and about with the Potions master was so welcome. He could not recall the last time he had spent time with someone out of doors. It seemed like it had been ages ago, and Remus felt free and light. He caught himself glancing at Severus out of the corner of his eyes as they made their way through the last minute Christmas crowds. The winter sun was shining, casting a glow on Severus' skin he had never seen before. His black eyes were flecked with chocolate and honey when the light hit him just so. Remus found himself thinking Severus was quite handsome before he even realized it.
A crowd of cheerful holiday shoppers flooded the streets, struggling to make their way into the most popular establishments. There was a sudden throng of people rushing by, a human wave of commotion. Remus lost himself gazing into a shop window as he walked. Suddenly, he felt something very warm wrap itself around his hand. Blinking in surprise, the lycanthrope saw that Severus had taken hold of him in order to navigate them through the crowd. His breath caught in his throat as he was dragged along silently, unable to take his eyes from their interlocked hands. Severus took a firmer hold of him by lacing his fingers with his. Remus had never before thought of holding Severus' hand and now he found himself grateful for it. Something within him never wanted him to let go. Perhaps it had also been a long time in coming, as their friendship had. Whatever the case, Remus was aware at that very moment that he had more than friendly feelings for the Potions master of Hogwarts.
Coming out of the crowd, Remus took a deep breath and held it in, dreading the moment when Severus let go of his hand. However, the Potions master resumed walking slowly, peeking into the windows of the stores silently. Remus was grateful, though flushed and hot from this new feeling of exhilaration. He waited anxiously to see what would happen next between them.
"You have a fondness for chocolates, don't you?" Severus asked, clearing his throat to speak evenly.
Remus nodded. "Yes, I enjoy a good chocolate now and then." He said, slowly realizing that Severus was possibly trying to get a feel as to what he would like for Christmas. His face turned a deep red as he remembered that he had not had any form of money in some time. There would be no way he could afford getting Severus a present. Here he had suggested they celebrate Christmas together...
The sound of softly jingling metal sounded. Severus stopped walking. "I think I kicked something with my shoe." The Potions master said, scanning the ground.
The lycanthrope joined him, catching sight of a shiny galleon on the ground. "There it is." Remus replied, bending down to pick up the coin and taking great care not to let go of Severus' hand. "Someone must have dropped it. Do you think they've noticed they dropped it?"
"No one around seems to be concerned. With the amount of people roaming around, I doubt we'd be successful in finding the owner." Severus said. "Best put it in your pocket until you find something to spend it on."
Remus palmed the coin into his pocket. He swore he could see the Potions master smiling to himself out of the corner of his eyes, but did not ask him why. They continued through the streets hand in hand, as if they had come to a silent understanding about it. With a heavy heart, Remus excused himself saying he needed to use the restroom. He let go of his companion's hand, slipping in to a nearby store and discreetly purchasing a present for Severus which he hid in his pocket. As he exited the store, he found the Potions master was missing. Slightly concerned, he leaned against a nearby wall and waited, scanning the crowd. The lycanthrope silently reflected that he had never before felt so calm and comfortable. Even the wolf inside him had hardly argued with the state of things.
Finally, Severus' dark figure emerged from behind a group of chattering women. "I also was in need of a restroom." He apologized simply. "Shall we start heading back?" Remus replied with a soft nod.
After taking dinner at The Three Broomsticks, Severus and Remus returned to Hogwarts castle hand in hand. The lycanthrope remembered what his companion had warned him about only days prior. Bitterness was a lonely friend and it was better to learn not to take it by the hand and befriend it before it was too late. Remus smiled to himself remarking that if he ever had a choice, he would much rather take Severus' hand.