Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything therein. No profit was made, etc. etc. etc.
Chapter Eight
While Severus slept, the lycanthrope transfigured pieces of parchment into holly and tinsel which he magically strung around the room. A small, dried weed Severus had not yet put into his potion stores became a modest tree which Remus decorated with ornaments that were transfigured from empty potion bottles. After he was finished, he tied a ribbon around the box which held Severus' present, placed it underneath the tree, and quickly fell asleep.
"Remus!"
Groaning, the lycanthrope turned over on his mattress, pulling the covers around him and shivering.
"Remus, wake up!"
"What...?" He groaned.
"You've been snoring. For Merlin's sake, wake up." Severus chided in a low voice. "Weren't you the one anxious for Christmas? You've been up half the night decorating by the look of things." The Potions master said.
Remus rubbed his eyes, noticing that his companion had already been in the shower and was dressed in familiar black robes. "I wanted to give you a proper Christmas morning." He returned, sitting up in bed.
Climbing out of bed, Remus threw on his worn robe, detoured to use the bathroom facilities, dressed, and then joined Severus by the fire for breakfast. The lycanthrope was too eager to see the Potions master open his gift and did not think much to make morning conversation. As he spread jam onto his toast, Remus watched Severus poking his eggs thoughtfully. Yesterday he had held his companion's hand and admitted to himself that he was fond of Severus.
Perhaps he had always known that his interests lay with males. His lycanthropy left little time or opportunity to pursue a relationship during his youth. If it had, perhaps Remus might have been definite of his preferences sooner. He had paid it no mind then because he had a secret to hide. But as he sat, silently eating his toast, it all made sense to him. He was enamored with Severus, which was the reason why he never joined James and Sirius during their pranks against him. It was why he was so careful to choose his words and so consumed about his appearance now. Aside from that, how effective could a woman really be in matters of his lycanthropy? They suffered every month as well, and Remus doubted that there were many women around strong and capable enough to take care of someone like him. Severus had taken care of him many times, supplying him with shelter and Wolfsbane potion. There were so many things that pointed him in the direction of the Potions master who sat before him.
They finished their breakfast in silence and turned their attentions to the Christmas tree. Remus was stunned to see that countless numbers of boxes accompanied the little gift box tied with a ribbon that he had placed there in the middle of the night. He swallowed hard; half wishing he could have afforded to buy more for Severus.
"Open yours first." Remus said as the box floated through the air and into Severus' lap.
The Potions master unlaced the ribbon and lifted the lid, exposing a gold pocket watch engraved with an ornate "S." He slipped it out of the box and held it in his hands, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thank you, Remus." Severus said softly.
"Do you like it?" The lycanthrope asked. "I mean, can you use it?"
"Of course I can." He returned. Severus' black eyes were warm when they looked at him.
Remus opened all the boxes presented to him, his heart leaping into his throat. When he had finished, the lycanthrope discovered that Severus had bought him an entirely new wardrobe, three new books, and a new bottle of soothing balm. "I... I don't know what to say..." He admitted. Remus was so touched by the gesture that his eyes were misting over with tears.
"Say that you like them. I'm not used to purchasing clothes that are as colorful as you prefer. I hope they please you." Severus said.
"No one has ever done such a thing for me, Severus." Remus choked struggling not to weep. He could not see, as his vision was blurring. His body began moving forward, completely on its own accord. When the Potions master swam into view, Remus could feel that he had wrapped his arms around Severus and was now locked in an embrace. Tears leaked from his eyes as he remarked to himself that the warmth of his companion felt better than he ever could have imagined. Severus did not seem to be opposed to his, as Remus felt the man's strong hands on his back.
Leaning backwards, Remus' breath caught as he stared into Severus' dark eyes. Their faces were almost touching and the lycanthrope could feel the Potions master's hot breath on his skin, something which made his entire body tingle. As his heart slammed against his ribcage, Remus noticed that Severus' eyes were fluttering closed. Without hesitation, Remus' did the same as he bridged the gap between them. Severus' lips were warm against his and softer than the lycanthrope thought they would be. Remus felt the Potions master cup the back of his head with his hand and let out a low moan.
When they parted, Remus was breathless. His knees threatened to give way and the lycanthrope considered it a miracle that he made it back to his chair without collapsing. Severus sat blinking, thinking silently.
"Severus, I..." Remus began, struggling to achieve coherent speech capacity. "Severus, do you..." He paused, taking a moment to clear his throat. "Severus, do you... like me...?"
The Potions master sat up straight in his chair and smoothed the front of his robes. "Like is a term we use with children when we ask them what types of food they prefer and does not suffice for questions like these, Remus." He replied. Severus let silence pool around them before speaking once more. "Yes, I like you as a person." The Potions master said. "I quite enjoy your companionship and your personhood. As to what you meant by your question, yes, I do prefer you in the romantic sense of the word. Do you?"
"Yes." Remus blurted before he realized it. "But why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Severus shook his head. "Would it have been very logical to have approached you during our youth? Your friends wouldn't have approved, and how embarrassing would it have been if I had confessed myself to you only to discover that you did not share my same interests?" He admitted. "As to why I never pursued anything during your tenure here, at the time I was under the assumption that you were conspiring with Black and exposed you out of anger. After you resigned, I realized that I had made a very grievous mistake and came to terms with the fact that any chance I had with you had most likely evaporated. It wasn't until recently that I thought perhaps there was an opportunity to make things right with you."
Remus swallowed. "Would you like to try a relationship, then?" He asked, a hot lump burning in his throat. He felt as if he were back in school readying himself for an exam.
"That would be the next logical step." Severus returned, setting his pocket watch to the correct time.
The lycanthrope nodded, smiling in amusement. He wrapped his new scarf around his neck and took to hanging his new apparel in the wardrobe as Severus leafed through the latest book he was devouring. After finishing, Remus turned towards his companion. "I'm going to pay Arthur a visit today."
Severus raised an eyebrow, not looking up from his book. "Are you?"
"I've been meaning to but I've never made it past... her." Remus returned. "I won't be too long." He added.
"In that case, I'll work on a few potions until then." Severus replied, closing his volume and placing it on the table. He rose, walking over to his potions stores. "Be careful, will you?"
"I will." The lycanthrope said as he approached Severus. Remus gave him a tender kiss on the cheek before slipping out of the dungeons.
This time he was able to sneak through the corridors and out of the castle. He hurried along, past the borders of Hogwarts and Apparated to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Most of the morning had already gone and Remus found it was practically time for lunch. The lycanthrope was glad to find that no one had left for St. Mungo's yet, and he was welcomed inside. Admiring the decorations around the house, Remus took a seat at the table in the kitchen, hearing Mad-Eye Moody chatting animatedly with Molly, who had just returned to the stove. As he wondered just where the children were, Sirius walked into the room.
"Oh, hello," he said upon seeing the lycanthrope. "I didn't know you were here."
"I just got here." Remus replied. "Happy Christmas," he added cordially.
Sirius gave a little nod. "Happy Christmas," returned the man. "It's nice to have everyone here this holiday, for a change." He commented wistfully. "By the by, we gave Harry a set of books for Christmas." Sirius added.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "We did?" He returned as he slid his hands deep inside his pockets, feeling embarrassed that he did not have the means to purchase anything for Harry that Christmas.
"I know you don't have much right now so I tacked your name on it too. A nice set of Defense Against the Dark Arts books. Just so you know." explained Sirius.
The lycanthrope nodded. "That was thoughtful of you." Remus said. He gazed again at the Christmas decorations around the house as he lost himself in thought.
Conversations with Sirius had been strained ever since he had escaped from Azkaban two years prior. Any friendship he and the other Marauders had shared shattered upon the murder of James and Lily Potter. It was something that had changed them all and would never allow any of them to be the same. Remus had spent many years agonizing over painful thoughts of betrayal. Even after he learned the truth, that Peter had been the one to betray them, Remus had no interest in rebuilding a friendship with Sirius; there had been an over abundance of blame and suspicion on both sides that Remus could not get past. What had transpired long ago was simply far too painful and he had resolved to move on as best he could.
Sirius leaned forward where he sat. "So, are you doing well?"
"I'm fine, thank you." Remus returned. There was another long silence that followed.
"Where are you living now? You moved by Hyde Park, didn't you?" He asked.
Remus shook his head, feeling weathered suddenly. This was the one question he had been dreading. Saying that Severus and Sirius did not get along was a gross understatement. No doubt a fiery tirade would follow if Remus divulged where he was truly living. "I'm going to go check and see if Molly needs help with the lunch." He said, excusing himself.
Molly and Remus presented lunch soon afterward. The Weasley family, Harry, Hermione, Sirius, Mad-Eye Moody, and Remus all dined together, chatting amongst themselves. Mundungus arrived towards the end of the meal, announcing that he had brought with him a car in which they would all travel to St. Mungo's in. The trip there was short; Remus attributed it to Christmas. Walking inside, the lycanthrope felt a cold shiver run down his spine.
Long buried memories from his childhood sprang to the forefront of his mind. He remembered the sterile smell that was currently filling his nostrils. Remus could see himself being carried through the doors of St. Mungo's in the arms of his mother, bloodied and crying as she frantically flagged someone down. He could hear her in his mind, as if she were standing right there. "Please! Oh dear god, someone help me! My boy! My boy's been bitten! Please! Someone help or he'll bleed to death!" She shrieked, reaching out desperately to catch a nurse by the arm. "Please, the bleeding won't stop! I've tried but magic won't work! Why won't it work?" His mother's face was twisted in maternal anguish.
Remus remembered the nurse prying apart one of his tightly closed eyes that stung with tears to examine his irises. "He's lycanthropic. You'll want Creature-Induced Injuries. That's the first floor."
His mother had gasped. "You mean he was bitten by a werewolf? He's going to be a werewolf?" She asked. "No! Not my son! Oh, god, why?" Remus could feel her clutching him tightly, as if she were doing it that very moment. Dissolving into tears, she had to be led upstairs by someone. The lycanthrope remembered the sound of his mother wailing, accompanied by his own tiny cries.
"Remus!"
Giving a start, Remus blinked out of his reverie. "Sorry." He apologized, giving an apologetic look towards Mad-Eye Moody. The lycanthrope followed the group up to where Arthur was staying. He smiled and welcomed them in good spirits. Remus was glad to see he was well and apologized for not being able to visit sooner, though did not expand on why he had been previously unable to. As Molly began a rather intense discussion with Arthur about stitches, the lycanthrope noticed a man, who appeared to be a lycanthrope as well, across the room from them eyeing their group around Mr. Weasley with a sorrowful envy. Silently, Remus slipped over to the man's bedside.
"Hello." He greeted softly. The man, who looked to be five to ten years younger than him, blinked but did not answer. "You've been bitten?" Remus asked only to receive silence as an answer once more. "I was bit too." He admitted.
"When?" The man asked meekly.
Remus gave a soft smile. "I was bitten when I was five. What's your name?"
The man answered simply, "David."
"It's nice to meet you, David. My name is Remus Lupin." He returned. "Have you had a chance to speak with any other lycanthropes?" wondered Remus.
David shook his head. "I've only heard some nurses talking around me. They say that I'll probably never be able to hold a job now. That's true, isn't it?" He asked with a note of panic in his voice.
"Legislation right now has made it difficult to have a job, yes." Remus answered. "But it isn't impossible. Don't lose hope."
"Do you have a job right now?" David asked.
Remus frowned. "At the moment, I don't." He admitted.
The man sighed heavily, leaning back upon the pillow. "I'm going to lose my job. I've been saving up to get married. She won't want to marry me now." David despaired. "Why did this have to happen to me?"
Leaning forward, Remus looked David in the eyes. "Someone very close to me told me once that bitterness is a lonely friend and it's best to not let it take you by the hand before it's too late. What's happened has happened. You can't change it and it's better to accept it and learn to deal with it rather than wasting away with bitterness."
David looked crestfallen. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"You can't be sure that you'll lose your job or the one you love. If she loves you, she won't leave you over this. Your job may go, but you'll get another." Remus said. "It may help to look into Wolfsbane potion; it's what helps you keep your mind when you're transformed."
"I've heard of it. But isn't it expensive?" David asked.
"A bit, but if you're skilled at potion making, you might be able to brew your own." He returned with an encouraging smile. "Also, be careful when you scratch. If you cut your skin it will take longer to heal, and may scar. And never break someone's skin with your teeth as you can pass on some traits of lycanthropy, even if you aren't transformed."
David sighed. "How did you find out all this?"
"I learned the hard way." Remus replied. "And by the way, it may be helpful to find something you enjoy doing, as the wolf within you will calm down during those activities. I find music and books to be quite soothing. Just realize that there are things that will trigger the wolf and he'll try anything to break free."
"I don't want to be a lycanthrope." David bemoaned. He looked completely overwhelmed as he ran a weary hand across his face. "It's all too much."
Remus shook his head. "You can do it." He said, believing his words as an inspiration to himself as well as his companion.
"We're going to go, Remus." Molly called from Arthur's bedside. Remus gave an apologetic smile toward the young man.
"Thank you," David said with a soft smile, "for talking to me."
Remus shook his head. "I wish I'd had someone to talk to about lycanthropy when I was here." He remarked, standing. "Goodbye, David. Take care. Owl me sometime and let me know how you are."
David smiled. "I will. Thanks."
Heading out of St. Mungo's in the company of Harry and the rest of the group, the lycanthrope smiled softly to himself. Inwardly Remus wished that David could find his life as full as he did that Christmas. It seemed almost unbelievable that his life was such a far cry from the lonely existence he had in the apartment near Hyde Park, but he was nevertheless grateful for it. Perhaps this was the turning point in his life that Remus never thought would come.