Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.
Olivia stopped at Starbucks and ordered three large coffees and two iced Frappacinos before going in to work Monday morning.
Elliot wasn't at his desk, but she knew he was there because his jacket was on the back of his chair. She set the two iced coffees down on their desk and put the others down on Munch and Fin's desk.
"Sweet," Fin said, taking one of the cups out. He popped the lid and took a long sip.
His partner removed his cup and got to work opening packets of sugar and cream. When he poured in his third cream, Fin stopped and looked at him. Unaffected, Munch kept going, ripping open two more. Fin kept watching in silence, his lip curled in disgust.
"Man, who's your HMO?" he finally asked.
John looked at him over the rims of his glasses, his hand posed over looked another packet of sugar. "Excuse me?"
"Obviously, whoever your dentist is makes more money than freakin' Donald Trump," Fin said. He gestured to his partner's coffee cup, appalled. "Look at that! It's a wonder you even have any teeth left drinking that shit!"
"Excuse me," Munch said haughtily. "I'll have you know that I have not had a cavity in thirty years." He flashed a Cheshire grin toward his partner, who just glared.
"That's 'cause you've got so many in your head," he mumbled, looking down at his report. "There's no room for any more holes anywhere else."
Olivia chuckled, sipping her drink. The door to Cragen's office opened then, and Elliot came out, followed by the captain. He headed up the stairs without a glance in anyone's direction.
The three of them quieted immediately, sensing trouble. The captain didn't seem upset, though. He had two files in his hands and put one beside Olivia. "
Ok, guys," he said, handing the other to Fin. "We've got a couple from Chelsea claiming their six year-old daughter was attacked."
Olivia grimaced, picking up the file. That was probably what had her partner upset. Cases involving children always riled him.
"She's at the Children's Hospital," Cragen continued. "I want you four to go down there and see what the story is before we take the case."
Munch nodded, standing up. "Meet you there," he said to Olivia.
She nodded as the two of them left, and looked back at the captain. "What's going on?" she asked, directing her eyes toward the staircase.
Cragen shook his head. "Elliot said he isn't feeling well," he said.
At that instant, the topic of conversation came back down the stairs.
"You alright?" she asked in concern.
He looked at the captain quickly, wondering what he had told her. Cragen shook his head slightly, and he relaxed. "Um…yeah," he said. "Yeah, fine. Let's go."
They arrived at the Children's Hospital of Windsor about forty minutes later. Munch and Fin headed for the ER to question the doctors on duty. A nurse directed Olivia toward the girl's room. They spotted two distraught figures sitting in chairs outside of the room and immediately knew they were the parents.
Olivia and Elliot exchanged grim looks as they approached, and held out their badges.
"Mr. and Mrs. Stepford?" Olivia asked gently. They looked up in surprise. "We're from Manhattan Special Victims. I'm Detective Benson, and this is my partner Detective Stabler."
Though upset, the couple handled themselves quite well. "Yes…" the man said, clearing his throat. "The doctor told us you were coming. I'm Jason Stepford, and this is my wife, Janet."
She waited for Elliot to take the lead. When he didn't, she looked at him out of the corner of her eye in irritation. "Can you tell us what happened?" she continued.
Jason opened his mouth to speak, but his wife burst out before he could. "How could this happen?" she cried hysterically. "Why would someone hurt my baby? She's only six years old!"
"Honey…" Jason shot an apologetic look at the detectives when his wife broke down into tears.
"Mrs. Stepford…." Olivia said quietly. "Would you like us to get you something to drink?"
Embarrassed, Janet wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, sniffling. "No...no. I'm alright. Please continue."
The two detectives took seats next to them. Olivia kept waiting for her partner to jump in, but he had his gaze on the ground.
"Where were you when the attack happened?" she asked.
Jason sighed. "At the park," he answered. "Janet works during the day and I stay home with Lisa."
"Was there anyone suspicious hanging around?" she continued. "Maybe a man without any children?"
"No," he said hoarsely. "No one. God…she was out of my sight for a second…just a second!" His voice cracked.
Munch and Fin came up to them then. "Thank you," she said, standing. "We'll let you get back to your daughter."
She was vaguely aware of Elliot mirroring her actions and following after her.
"What is wrong with you?" Olivia had held her tongue all the way up until they were driving back to the precinct. "You left me out to dry in there!"
Elliot's hands tightened on the steering wheel, his face expressionless. "Sorry," he mumbled under his breath.
She shook her head and scoffed. "Sorry?" she repeated. "If you aren't going to do your job, at least give me the courtesy of a heads-up."
"Damn it, Olivia!" His sudden angry outburst startled her. His jaw was tight and he looked at her with fire in his eyes. "Why don't you give me the courtesy of getting off my back?"
That struck a nerve. He knew it the instant the words left his mouth. Her mouth tightened and she turned toward the window without another word.
He sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry, Liv," he said. He shook his head. "I didn't get much sleep this weekend…I wasn't focused in there. I didn't mean to bite your head off." He paused, waiting to see if she would look at him. She didn't.
"Come on," he persisted. "Olivia, I really am sorry…please don't be mad at me." He nudged her side with his elbow and saw her glance at him quickly. "Please?"
She glanced at him and saw that he was giving her an exaggerated puppy-dog face. She tried to pretend like she was still angry, but she never could keep a straight face when he did that.
For the first time, she noticed lines around his eyes that weren't usually there. His normally proud posture was sagged against the seat, and he rubbed his forehead tiredly as he switched lanes. She suddenly felt incredibly guilty for jumping on him…he looked like he had been rode hard and put away wet.
"You don't look very well, Elliot," she said. "What happened this weekend?" A thought came into her head, and she looked at him in concern. "Was it Kathy?"
He heard the genuine worry in her voice, and shook his head. "No, no," he answered. "Nothing like that. I just…I just had a lot on my mind."
They fell silent. After a minute, Olivia ventured, "You know you can talk to me…about anything."
More silence. "Yeah," he said finally. "I know, Olivia. Thanks."
Whatever was eating at him didn't stop for the rest of the day. Cragen let them go at six, to their surprise and delight.
"Hey," Fin said, as they went to their lockers. "You guys want to go get a drink?"
Olivia was immediately for the idea, not wanting to go home alone. "I'm in," she said.
"I've been working with you all day…" Munch said to Fin. "I guess a few more hours of mindless boredom won't hurt."
Olivia laughed at the glare Fin threw toward his partner.
"Actually, you guys…." Elliot clicked the padlock shut on his locker. "I think I'll pass,"
Olivia looked at him in concern. "You sure?" she asked.
He smiled. "Yeah," he said. "Go ahead. I'm just going to go home and crash."
"That's cool," Fin said. "See you tomorrow, then."
"Tomorrow," Elliot echoed, as the two of them went in the opposite direction. Olivia hung back. "Go on, Olivia. Go have fun."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" she asked. "I can tell them to go without me."
He smiled at her worry. "I appreciate that," he said, touching her shoulder lightly. "But really….I'm fine. I'm just going to go home and crash, because I am beat."
"Well, ok," she said finally. "See you later."
She turned around and hurried to catch up with the others. Olivia knew something was up…she had seen Elliot fake a smile too many times to not notice when he was giving her one.
"Hey," she called out, stopping them. "Look….I think I'm just going to go home."
"Why?" Munch asked. "Come on…it's not a school night!"
She smiled and rolled her eyes at him. "I really should go home and do my laundry," she said. "I'll go next time…promise."
"Sure," Fin said, rolling his eyes. He sighed and walked off with his partner.
Olivia turned back and headed for the parking garage. Should I call him? What should I say? Am I going crazy?
As she was heading for her car, she heard a sound like someone vomiting. Startled, she walked toward the sound and saw Elliot on his knees behind his truck.
He dropped his head to his chest and breathed shallowly. The nausea had been creeping up all day, and he was glad it hadn't gotten this bad while he was in front of the others. The sound of footsteps startled him. He whipped his head up to see Olivia coming toward him with a worried expression.
Shit! he thought in a panic. Climbing quickly to his feet, he dashed inside the car and started the ignition.
Olivia heard the truck start, and watched as he pulled away quickly. She knew he had seen her.
Elliot zoomed toward the Queens expressway like a mad man. His cell phone rang, but he ignored it. He dashed inside his apartment without even bothering to shut the front door and pounded up the stairs. His heart was threatening to explode from his chest.
He went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Pulling out the muscle relaxers, he opened the bottle with shaking hands and shook a handful into his palm. He went straight to his bedroom and crouched down under the bed, searching madly through the junk he had piled under it.
He finally located the old blanket and pulled out the bottle of Jack Daniels that he had hidden in the folds. Popping the top off, he threw the pills in his mouth and chugged the liquor like a dying man. He finished off half of the bottle and took a deep breath, his hands still shaking.
Putting the bottle aside, Elliot climbed out from under the bed and collapsed on top of the mattress. He covered his eyes with his arm and waited for oblivion to claim him, knowing that it would take him somewhere where he wouldn't see the horrible memories when he dreamed.