Ray: Hi! This is a chapter that I wrote myself.

Lamb: Yeah...right!

Raja Tears: Well I wanted to thank my Reviews again! So here is my thanks to...#Hears drum roll from Lamb and Ray jiggling their fat together#

Broken: Well! That was... interesting... lol. It was VERY funny. I was rolling on the floor the entire time. So... right more. Like, soon. You've got me hooked now. It's a little confusing, and VERY stupid (in a good-funny way), but you have talent for Humor. The story line is VERY different. I love it. Keep writing... I'm waiting for the next chappy! -is impatient- -grins-

kotsu157: nice story it was cool and funny and hilarious and funny and I could go on but that would take FOREVER and I don't want to type that long yeah so I liked your story... it was funny and NOT AGAIN!
ok bye... "-"

tigress of the mountain:(I think it's 'tigress of the mountain. Sorry person if that's how you really meant to spell it!) wow this is really funny u should update soon! im not understand sum parts but it is still really funny. plz rite more 2 it soon ok.

sujansdaughter: This is a good attempt at a story but is so incredibly stupid

Ray: HEY! DON'T INCLUDE THAT...THAT FLAMER!

Lamb: #Calls assassin to kill flamer.# Don't worry about it. The potatoes shall die soon.

Ray, Lamb, & Raja Tears: He he...Dead!

Raja Tears: I'm betting some people think I'm totally stupid for writing these things!

Lamb: They're right!

Ray: But we all helped with the story. So we're all stupid!

Lamb, Raja Tears, & Ray: #Grabs hold of each others(butts) hands and start to do that ring around the posies thing.#

Raja Tears: Wait! You guys don't help me with this stuff! #Drops hands#

Lamb: I WOULD but I can't write funny stuff like YOU two can.

Ray: Well we only write about how stupid we act TOGETHER.

Raja Tears: That's true. BUT I need help with all the plots that we do. EVIL plots! Now I'm going to say my first disclaimer! Watch and be amazed! I own nothing except for Ray on the weekends.(Ray: #Smiles and touches self#) Wait! I DO own stuff. I own Mayhem Manor and in the future I will be owning Taco Bell. For now let's just say I don't. (Lamb: #Touches Ray#)

Well on to more important matters! (Sesshy: #Talking to Rin and pointing to the ground# Get on the ground Rin!) (Lamb and Ray: Hey! How come YOU get to do a Sesshy voice and we don't!) Okay I need some IDEAS (Ray: I'm glad you said it right!) people. So please give me anything that's retarded or criminal-ish. It can be gross, yaoi, incest(Ray: YOU GOT LEY-HA ADDICTED TO THAT STUFF), bestiality(not to much on that!), dangerous, death(But I might have to bring them back to life), a place they can go, and blah blah blah! You be creative. Oh and also not all the chapters will have a plot to capture Sesshy in it, but it will involve Sesshy and a lot of retarded-ness! So 100 chapters on stupid girls and hot bangs! (Lamb: ARE YO U DONE YET!) I'm done! Enjoy the chapter!

100 Attempts to Contain What Makes Sesshomaru Sexy

Chapter 3: Kry Me Sesshy's Bangs

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()At the FBI Headquarters()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Kry's Pov.

I walked up to a hot pink building that had a huge neon green sign at the top that read 'This is not the FBI headquarters' Then underneath that it read 'Hi Kry thanks for bailing us out! We'll be in the ice freezer playing ice hockey!' I blinked. 'I...I think I'm home!' I know I had a stupid smile on my face that said 'I'm a rapist' 'Man it's good to be back here so I can act CRAZY! Now suddenly I want to touch myself.' I opened the door and threw a brick at the women sitting at the front desk. The brick had been very lonely. No one touched him at night anymore. I touch myself.

"THAT SHOULD DISTRACT THEM!" I yelled as Mike walked up to me. He glanced over at the two women that were now dead, but they weren't important. I put my hand on his shoulder and sighed.

"I tried to save the children, but those men... were to strong for me! Th- they told m-me to take off my clothes. I t-told them... they had to give me my money first... or they wouldn't get any." I heard Mike sigh. He happened to like me. A LOT! I wasn't the man for him though. 'I know the perfect person for him! It HAS to work!'

"Aren't you going to take me to my fellow retards? They need to tell me about this Sesshy guy. You wouldn't know anything about it would you?" Mike blushed and pointed to the way I had my back to. I froze. 'What...What if I bleed. Cause I'm a woman and not a man. Damn the lack of testicles!' I did a manly back flip. In the process I 'accidently' kicked the secretary. I knew she wanted a date with Mike, but that's only cause he's hot. 'Besides! I got the perfect person for him. And it's not me!' I landed on my tentacles after about five minutes of flipping and kicking the crap out of people. I stared at the wall. It had tons of pictures of REALLY HOT bangs. I wiped away the drool that began to make its way down my chins. I glanced past my shoulder toward Mike.

"That man. He's Sesshy, right?" Mike replied with a short nod. I grinned and started to take my clothes off. For some reason Mike looked a little nervous. That or he had the burrito for lunch.

"Umm...his real name is Sesshomaru." Mike stated with a sigh of relief when I pulled my pants up again. Covering my cute pudgy-ness.

"Led me to the ice box while I nod to whatever you're saying and look for a boyfriend for you." An hour later we rounded the corner and stopped in front of small round sphere in the middle of the room. Mike walled to a couch and sat down. I grinned and kicked it. I heard tiny little midget screaming. I looked around only to see Mike reading "Twilight". I shrugged and kicked the ball again. 'This is fun! I wonder where the others are or where the freezer is? OH WELL!' I heard the screaming again. Suddenly the ball opened up and out jumped four REALLY fat people. I saw Mike look up from his book and wave at them. I looked closer to find that the four lardos were Kagome, Ray, Lamb, and Fatty.

"How did you all fit in there?" Asked Lamb. I shook my head and did a double take. 'She's teasing me with those skimpy clothes! Well two can play that game.' I jumped on Fatty, Ray, & Kagome and ripped off their clothes.

"Hey there babies. You umm...You come here often?" Ray said to her fist. 'She was never right in the head.'

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()Mike's Pov.()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I put down my book and looked over to see Kry jump on Ray, Kagome, and Fatty. She then ripped off their clothes and looked them over. I rolled my eyes and laughed when she smiled at what she saw. The three were wearing holla shirts and coconut bikinis. Lamb was grinning, too. That was when she reached over and ripped off Kry's clothes. 'Why are they all wearing holla skirts and coconut bikinis?...Never mind. I don't want to know.' I snapped back the realityof chaos. While I was zoned out Lamb had stripped down to a holla skirt and a coconut bikini and the five were chatting something about bangs. Then suddenly they all squealed when Kry shouted out a "YES!".

"I'm going to be seeing you a lot aren't I? Can you tell me how much trouble you are going to cause chasing that REALLY hot guy and his very sexy bangs?" After I said all that they ALL jumped on me and smiled. These were some HUGE girls here. 'Oh no. I can feel the pain coming already.' I squinted my eyes closed to prepare for all the wrestling they were going to force me into. Nothing happened and I opened my eyes.

Kagome: Say Mike. Could you do us a favor?

Kry: PLEASE!

Me: 'I know I'm going to regret this.' Sure.

All except Me: #Squeals#

Fatty: Okay! Kry said she was going to help us.

Kry: But we need more people to help!

Lamb: So we thought that you could help us by-

Fatty & Ray: -keeping tabs on Sesshy!

Kagome: That way we can-

Kry: -have a party-

Ray:-in my pants!

I gave them a confused look.

Me: What are you guys talking about!

Lamb: Here's what you need to do. Get Hiei and Kurama out of the demon world since you're a kitty demon! Tell them you were getting VERY lonely and wanted them to...comfort you.

Fatty: Kurama and Hiei would love to help I'm sure!

Me: No they wouldn't, but I'm...I'm going to make them!

Ray: Hey, Kry? Can you Kry me Sesshy's Bangs?

Kry: Nope!

Lamb & Fatty: #Glares at her# That's YOUR plot. Your EVIL plot.

Ray: #Smiles like a retard# Yup!

We all smiled and got up. Ray and the others left to go back to Mayhem Manor and sleep for tomorrow. They had a concert band competition tomorrow and needed to be well rested for the chaos they were going to cause. I sat back down and picked up my book. 'Now what happens when Edward goes into the sunlight?'

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Raja Tears: Sorry if it sucked and is short, but I'm tired.

Lamb: Me too!

Ray: Don't you two have a REAL band thing tomorrow?

Raja Tears: Yeah...I'm going to bed. Review with craziness people of the masses! Falls to ground in heap of tangled limbs with Ray and Lamb.

Lamb, Ray, & Raja Tears: Zzzzzzzzzzzz.