Title: I Am The Fire

Rating: T/M (All M rated chapters will be marked)

Pairings: Rachel/Tom

*WARNINGS: Mentions of rape and sexual assault. If these topics are triggering to you, please avoid. Not much detail will be given, but still.

Summary: [Tom & Rachel] [AU from 1x08] Tom and Rachel heal together in stops and starts. The video from Tom's family sends a heartbreaking message, and while aboard the Vyerni, Rachel is assaulted by Ruskov's men. This is a story about healing, learning to love, and finding family in the middle of a disease ridden world.

Important Notes (READ BEFORE READING THE STORY):

1. I have only watched Seasons 1 & 2 of the show. Dr. Rachel Scott was my favorite character, and I think they did her, and women in general, a huge injustice in killing her off. We had a badass woman, who didn't take any shit from the Navy Captain Tom Chandler, who SAVED the WORLD, and they just… killed her. With no rhyme or reason. So, in my head, the show ended when Rachel walked down the hallway. She was never shot, she went on to travel the world, and when she got back, she found Tom and they lived happily ever after. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL, THIS IS HOW IT ENDED!

2. I have little to no military knowledge. Research only does so much. If you see any glaring mistakes, let me know and I'll fix them!

3. This story will deal with some hard themes. Rachel undergoes some trauma beginning in chapter 2, and will heal from it throughout the story.

4. Ashley and Sam have been aged down. I work with children in the 5-9 year old category, and feel I can write them more realistically. Sam will be 5, and Ashley is 8.

Am I brave enough?
Am I strong enough?
To follow the desire
That burns from within
To push away my fear
To stand where I'm afraid
I am through with this
'Cause I am more than this

~I Am The Fire (Halestorm)

Prologue - 1x01: Pilot: Phase Six

October 10th, 2013 - 1400 (2:00 pm)

"Sir, I have another message coming through! It was transmitted the same time as P.O.T.U.S's, but it looks like a much bigger file. It's an MPEG."

"Play it," commander Slattery said, leaning over the console as Captain Tom Chandler quickly sat down, grabbing the headset and settling the headphones over his ears.

Tom tapped the 'play' button, staring at the screen with great trepidation, his heart clenching as the image on the screen became clear.

His dad.

Oh, God.

He sucked in a quick breath, propping his elbows on the table and entwining his fingers under his chin. Once he listened to this message, he would know, and as hard as not knowing was, he couldn't shake the feeling that his entire world was about to collapse.

Why was only his dad on the screen? Where were Darien and the kids?

With a deep breath to calm his racing heart, Tom began listening.

"Hey, Tommy. I have some contacts at the pentagon, so I'm hoping I may have a way to get this message to you. We have our fingers crossed and pray every day that this message finds you safe and sound. I … I don't know how to tell you this, son, but I know that you need to know. Darien didn't make it. The kids and I are safe and healthy. We've been up in my cabin since this all began. I'm so sorry, son. So... so sorry."

As his father began to cry on screen, Tom felt his entire world shatter. He forced himself to keep listening past the white-hot pain piercing his chest, his eyes darting across the screen to try and catch a glimpse of his children.

"She went into town one day to try and find a piece for the FM Radio. We hadn't been able to contact anyone, or to try and send you messages. While hiding from someone outside the store with a gun, she stumbled across a man who had died from the Red Flu. We know, at this point, that it's airborne, so when she returned, she refused to come inside. She told me from a distance what had happened, and then ran away. She saved us, son. She knew that she wouldn't make it, and made the choice to keep me and Ash and Sam safe."

As he wiped tears from his eyes Tom's father turned his body around, holding out a hand to beckon the children forward.

"Sam, Ash, come here. It's a message for your father."

The two small children walked forward, Ashley stopping to stand behind the chair her grandfather was sitting in, while Sam crawled into his grandfather's lap and waved. He had two of his fingers, his middle and pointer fingers, in his mouth, and was sucking them silently. Tom's heart clenched at the sight; Sammy only ever sucked his fingers when he was nervous or afraid or sad.

"Hi, Daddy," Sam said, popping his fingers out of his mouth and waving the slobbery digits toward the screen once more. He grinned, and Tom noticed that he had lost his two front teeth. When had that happened?

"I love you, Daddy!"

"We both love you," Ashley added, her eyes moist as she tried to smile. Her lips turned up, but her eyes remained downcast. Eight years old with the weight of the world on her shoulders. "We hope you come back soon. We miss you so much."

"Hey, Tom, we have to go; I was told to keep the video short. But I wanted to let you know that the kids and I are safe, and we love you, and are praying every day for your safe return. Say bye, kids."

"Bye, Daddy!" Sam and Ashley chorused, waving together as Jed reached toward the computer. "We love you!"

The screen went blank.

Tom sat in the chair, unable to move.

Sam.

Ashley.

His dad.

Darien.

Tom looked up, wanting to say something to the men and women surrounding the chair he sat in. They had turned their bodies, giving him as much privacy as they could in the cramped space, but when he opened his mouth, the sound that broke free from his chest was full of anguish and despair. He clenched his left hand, using his right to tear the headphones off of his head. He stood, turned his back to his crew, and pressed his fist into his chest, trying to ease the pain. Words wouldn't come.

Darien.

"Captain?" Mike Slattery questioned, a concerned look on his face.

Tom's eyes began swimming, his breaths short and painful.

"XO has the bridge," he whispered brokenly (had he even spoken? He hoped the words had made it out past the lump in his throat) and then bolted.

He stumbled down the p-way, trying desperately to clear the blur of tears from his eyes. He wouldn't, couldn't, cry in front of his crew. He had to make it to his cabin.

He didn't register anything around him until he heard a soft "oof" and felt someone bump into his shoulder.

"Captain Chandler?" a voice spoke off to his left. A soft, accented voice. A voice that was normally yelling at him. Somehow hearing her speak so softly rattled him even further.

He turned, breathing in deeply and blinking a few times to try and keep his tears from falling.

"Captain, are you all right?"

If possible, Rachel's voice was now even softer. She was standing a foot away from him, her hair wispy and sticking out of her ponytail in several places. She had deep bags under her eyes, and Chandler wondered absently if she'd slept recently.

"I'm fine."

I'm not fine.

"Are you sure? What happened?" she asked, reaching a hand out to touch his arm. He jerked away from her quickly, taking another shuddering breath in.

"I'll be fine."

Will I ever be fine again?

"Excuse me," he said abruptly, pushing past her. "I have to go."

Rachel turned and watched as Captain Thomas Chandler walked down the hallway, his steps a bit unsteady and his hand reaching up to swipe at his eyes. He didn't say, but she knew that the crew had been trying all day to contact their families as they neared Norfolk. She sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in.

How many more people would die before she was able to come up with a cure for this horrifying disease?