A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen, round three. Let me know what you think. And I would like to say I mean no offense to supermarket checkers by this story. I was one myself in high school. Read on!
Sam followed Jack into the house, shutting the door behind her with her one free arm. The other was laden with the lighter of the grocery bags, as Jack had purposely grabbed the heaviest of the bags and stumbled from the driveway into the house on his own. Heaven forbid they make multiple trips between the kitchen and the truck.
She bit her lip as she entered the room, wondering just which Jack she would be greeted with. It could be the pissed-off-angry-you-get-in-my-way-I-will-verbally-berate-you-until-you-cry Jack; however, that Jack was usually reserved for irreverent subordinates, or really oblivious men who tried to hit on Sam in his presence. Then again, he was fairly worn out and tired, so she couldn't completely count out the possibility. There was a chance it would be pouty Jack, the one who acted like he was about four years old and just wanted to suck is thumb while his Mommy held him. She was hoping for this incarnation. She hadn't seen her husband all week and would be more than obliging if all he needed was a little reassuring TLC to get him out of his mood. She put the bags on the countertop and turned to face the center of her existence, the love of her life, the father of her unborn child, blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.
He ignored her as he brushed past her in his own personal thundercloud and left the room.
Ouch. That would be I'm-so-angry/displeased/disappointed-I-won't-even-acknowledge-anyone-else's-presence Jack. That was more difficult to deal with. The only solution was to avoid him, until something insignificant like lack of Jello in the commissary, or the absurdity of the designated hitter rule in American League Baseball set him off, and he blew off enough steam to interact normally with people again. She hadn't really counted on this Jack. She didn't realize that the supermarket checker had hit such a nerve. The girl was barely eighteen after all, and from what Sam estimated from their previous conversations, could hardly be taken seriously. God, how she wished she had just brought Jack home and gone out to do the shopping alone. But no, they had decided it would be more efficient to stop at a grocery store that Sam used to go to before they moved in together, on the way home from the base. That way they could just spend the weekend at home together without having to leave the house, simply enjoying each other's company.
So much for that plan. It looked like it was going to be a long, quiet weekend in the Carter-O'Neill household.
The trip to the store has started out innocuously enough. They just needed a few essentials, bread and milk, and some stuff for dinner, pasta and sauce, and some laundry detergent. Sam knew the store well enough to find the items fairly quickly while a bleary-eyed Jack dragged his feet behind her, pushing the cart. They found a relatively short line and waited to pay.
The girl at the register glanced up at Sam as she rang up the items. "Major Carter!" she exclaimed, recognizing Sam from her years of frequenting this particular supermarket. "I haven't seen you, in like, forever! How are you? Last you told me, after I noticed that ginormous rock on your finger, was that you were gonna get married - how's that working out? Oh my god, Major, I hadn't even noticed, you're pregnant! You have to be you've always been so tiny, I would kill for your waist, but I totally see a bump! Are you? When are you having it? Is it a-"
Sam interrupted the loquacious teenager before the girl passed out from forgetting to breathe in between words. "Yes, I am pregnant. Just got through the first trimester, everything seems to be fine so far. Thank you for asking." She hoped that would put an end to the subject so could get out of there quickly. Jack was fighting to keep his blood-shot eyes open as he slumped over the cart.
But it was not to be. The girl looked up from her work again and this time took a notice of Jack. "What about you, Mr. Carter? Are you excited? Will this be your first grandchild?"
Jack's unfocused gaze settled on the girl. He opened his mouth as if to reply and then closed it again, thoroughly confused. Sam could almost see his mission-weary brain attempting to comprehend what was happening. She knew exactly when understanding dawned on him and interceded before he could do anything.
"Actually, I have a brother who already has kids," she answered before Jack could, handing the girl a wad of bills. "Keep the change."
"Wow, thanks, Major! Bye now, and congratulations!" she called after them as Sam half pushed her enraged husband out the door.
Looking back, Sam couldn't completely fault the girl. Coming back from a long week at the Alpha Site, Jack was looking anything but his best. His haggard face made him look a good five years older than he actually was. And Sam had just gotten past the initial nauseating stage of her pregnancy and was now looking particularly radiant. Her skin was full and eyes were bright; she knew with the extra rest she had been getting lately she could easily pass for someone five years younger. That coupled with the actual ten year difference in their ages, and well, right now, Jack could possibly look old enough to be her father. Especially to a teenager, to whom anyone over forty looked positively ancient. Sam remembered being that age and never being able to tell how old people were. So she could understand the girl's assumption.
But that didn't change the reality of the situation. Jack had been so tired that Sam had insisted on driving. She had concentrated on the road the whole way home, hoping the silent car ride would give Jack time to cool down and get over the insult at the supermarket. She hadn't counted on him still being angry. She didn't realize his age was such a sensitive issue, but now was wondering how he would feel as the pregnancy went on and after their child was born. How would he react after bringing their son or daughter to kindergarten the first time, seeing the other parents half his age? Her musings were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Jack could you get that?" she called. "I want to finish putting the groceries away." She knew he was still in the silent stage of his anger where a request like that wouldn't set him off. He would either comply or simply ignore her.
She heard the door click open and Daniel's energetic voice fill the hallway. "Hey, Jack, I missed you guys before you left the base. I just wanted to check on some lab results with Sam and make sure these are accurate…" His voice grew louder and Sam could hear footsteps approaching the kitchen. Daniel walked in first followed by a still supremely pissed off Jack.
"Daniel, this may not be the best-"
"Hey, Sam, I know you wanted a weekend alone, and I promise to be out of your hair if you just look at this for me real quick."
Sam glanced down at the folder in his hands, acquiescing to his request, knowing that it would probably be faster to look at what Daniel wanted her to see then try to argue with the increasingly persistent archaeologist. Anthropologist. Linguist. Whatever hat he was wearing that day.
Daniel glanced over at Jack as Sam perused the folder. "Tough week at the Alpha Site?"
Recognizing the unique Jack O'Neill that-was-a-stupid-question look, Daniel racked his brain for something to cheer up his friend.
"Oh!" he burst out suddenly. "Jack, the funniest thing happened to me and Sam this week."
It did? Sam tore her eyes away from the numbers and tried to figure out where Daniel was going with this.
"So Siler dropped his wrench on his foot again on Wednesday-"
Jack snorted in amusement.
"Aaah…that wasn't the funny part, Jack."
The scowl returned.
"Anyways, this time instead of just bruising it or fracturing a toe he full on broke his foot; he's going to be in a cast for a few weeks. So a few people wanted to get him something and Sam and I volunteered to go pick up the 'get well soon' cake. One of the nurses ordered it; they had turned in a drawing of the Goa'uld healing device and told the bakery to decorate the cake with it, saying it was a tribal symbol or something representing long life."
Sam still had no clue where the story was leading.
"So, yeah, we were paying for the cake, which looked great by the way, and the girl behind the counter looked up-"
Oh crap. Sam knew exactly where the story was going.
"Daniel, I think-" she tried to interrupt.
"No, lemme finish the story, Sam, trust me Jack, it's great." Daniel looked like he could barely contain his own amusement while Jack continued to glare. Sam buried her face in her hands and prayed it would be over quickly.
"Right, so she looks up at Sam and says to us, 'I heard you talking about how you are expecting, and I just wanted to say, I think the two of you will have the most adorable child! Congratulations, and be sure to bring the little one in sometime. I want to see him or her with Mommy and Daddy.'"
The kitchen fell completely silent as Daniel waited eagerly for Jack's reaction. For the second time in one day, Sam saw the utterly confused look on Jack's face and cringed as she waited for realization to come once again. She would kill for one of Thor's timely interventions right now. Or maybe a Goa'uld invasion. Yeah, an unsuspected Goa'uld invasion targeting Colorado Springs so it would all be over quickly.
"Isn't that funny, Jack? I mean, she though I was the father! That it was my and Sam's kid! She thought we would have a great looking child. I mean, I didn't know how to respond, I didn't want to laugh or embarrass her, it was an honest mistake, I can see how someone might-….Sam, why is Jack slamming his head against the wall?"
It was going to be a long six months.