Chapter 4: I Am The Fire

November 30th, 0400 (4:00 am)

When Tom awoke next, he was shocked to realize that, between the endless nightmares, they had slept through the rest of the day and most of the night. He supposed floating in the open ocean, being dehydrated and burnt by the sun and then kidnapped, really took it out of you.

Rachel was still laying next to him, her head on his chest. He watched her breathing for several moments, unwilling to move and risk waking her.

It was then that he realized what had woken him; a soft tapping on the door to his cabin. Sighing, he went about gently untangling himself from the sleeping scientist without waking her. She groaned and rolled over into the warm spot he left behind when he managed to get out of the bed.

Tom cast one last look back at her before walking barefoot toward his door, scrubbing a hand over his two-day stubble as he opened the hatch. On the other side stood his friend and second in command, Mike Slattery.

"Everything OK?" Tom asked, yawning. "Last night you told me not to report to the bridge until 0600."

"No sign of the Russians, if that's what you're worried about," Mike said, raising an eyebrow as he looked into the bedroom from the open doorway. "Just wanted to check on you. We didn't get to talk last night."

"I'm fine," Tom said, motioning him in. He closed the main door of his cabin, and then tiptoed across the room to close the bedroom door as well, so as not to disturb the scientist. "Don't wanna wake Dr. Scott. She had ... a lot of nightmares, and is still sleeping off her concussion."

Which, he realized belatedly, they had not checked on as she'd slept. He glanced back at the door worriedly, wanting to check on her now, but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully and he didn't want to disturb her.

"I feel like when the woman is in your bed, you'd probably better call her Rachel and not Dr. Scott," Mike commented.

Tom tensed. "It's not like that," he said.

Mike just shrugged. "No one would blame you if it was. And besides, you're the captain, so it wouldn't be like anyone would jump down your throat about regulations."

"Even if it were like that, she's a civilian," Tom said. "But it's not. She had a concussion, and said she felt safe here. She was assaulted on that boat, Mike," he added. "And wouldn't let anyone else get near her."

"Oh shit," Mike said, eyes widening. "Assaulted as in…?"

"Almost," Tom said. "Got there just in time."

"Shit," Mike said again, and Tom sighed.

"Why did you let her go?" he asked quietly.

All of the anger had slipped out of him, and he was just tired.

"It was the best way, and you know it," Mike said. "The only way to get in and out without a massive firefight. They wanted Dr. Scott, so we gave them Dr. Scott. It was actually her idea to slip you the note, you know."

Tom exhaled. Of course it was her idea. To go running into the danger, instead of away from the danger.

"You're right. I know you're right. I just..." He trailed off, dropping heavily to sit in his desk chair opposite of his XO. "Anyway," he continued. "I told her she could use my cabin to shower since the communal showers were probably not a great idea. And then, well," he waved a hand in the air, hoping that his gesture encompassed everything he didn't want to say.

"So it's really not like that?" Mike asked, and Tom would have rolled his eyes if he hadn't basically been asking himself yesterday if he like-liked the good doctor. Apparently every goddamn person on this ship was in middle school.

"No. It's not. Just comforting a friend."

Tom could acknowledge, if only to himself, that it seemed like it was just a little bit more than comforting a friend, but he wasn't going to admit it out loud yet.

"All right then," Mike said, nodding. "Anything I can do to help? You don't need to come to the bridge at 0600 if you don't want. Master Chief and I can handle it."

Tom shook his head. "No, I'll be there. It would take a herd of elephants to keep Dr. Scott from the lab at this point, so I'll drop her off with strict instructions to check in with Doc Rios this afternoon and meet you there. Besides, I think we will need to calculate a course to get more monkeys. Dr. Scott said she wanted to do some more testing before moving forward with human trials."

"I can't believe we're so close to a vaccine," Mike said in wonder. "You were right about her, you know," he acknowledged, nodding his head toward the bedroom. "She's a hell of a lady."

Tom agreed with Mike, nodding his head. "Yes she sure is."

November 30th, 2013 - 06:30 (6:30 am)

Several hours later Rachel was setting up in her lab, getting ready to begin her work, when Tex walked into the room. She didn't flinch this time - and in fact, that was something she wanted to apologize for.

"Hey, Doc!" He called out in greeting. "Glad to see you up and about. Sleep OK last night?"

Rachel nodded, her cheeks heating up when she thought about how she had woken up in the Captain's bed this morning, wrapped in his blankets and his scent. He had woken her up gently, a hand on her arm, but she had still startled, flinching until she realized where she was.

"Yes, thank you, Tex. I actually wanted to apologize to you for how I acted toward you on the ship," she started, but Tex held up a hand as he perched on the edge of her desk.

"No need for apologies, Doc. I shouldn't have come at you like that. Yeah, I was worried, but if I'd thought about it for half a second I would have realized that anyone coming toward you that quickly would likely freak you out."

Rachel nodded. "Yes, but still. I apologize for screaming. I promise, you're not that scary looking."

Tex laughed loudly, and Rachel flinched slightly at the noise. Her head was still hurting significantly, even though she had told Tom she was feeling fine. She wasn't dizzy anymore, she could walk in a straight line, and she could correctly recall anything that the Captain asked her about. She knew that the headache was likely just an ongoing symptom of her head's introduction to the concrete floor aboard the Vyerni.

"Seriously, Doc, it's fine. I was just coming down here to see if you needed anything. Some breakfast, tea, company?"

Rachel shook her head, grimacing at the mention of breakfast. The Captain had tried, too, but the thought of food made her feel sick to her stomach. She had managed a cup of green tea early this morning, but couldn't stomach the idea of anything else.

"No, thank you," she said politely. "I just want to get to work. Right before... everything happened, I had just finished a prototype vaccine." She paused to point to the monkey sitting inside his little cage, chattering quietly to himself - the monkey that was very much alive. "I want to start trials, but before I do, I have a lot of work to do."

"Alrighty then, Doc," Tex said, nodding. He moved to the side of the room, settling himself in an open chair, twirling in a circle as he realized it was a spinning chair.

"Tex," Rachel sighed, closing her eyes in exasperation. "I do not need a babysitter."

"Not babysittin', Doc," he said, grabbing something that looked vaguely science-y off of the table, tossing it in the air, and catching it as it came down. "Just hangin' out with a friend."

"You're babysitting. Did the Captain put you up to this?"

Tex laughed, spinning around in the chair again.

"Nope, the commodore is none the wiser."

Rachel sighed, and resigned herself to her new watchdog. "Fine. Just don't get in my way."

November 30th, 2013 - 13:15 (1:15 pm)

Around lunch time, Tom wandered into the lab. Dr. Scott was hard at work, while Tex was now busy seeing how far he could propel himself forward by using the desk as a launching pad. Tom raised his eyebrows at the man, glancing between him and Dr. Scott. Rachel noticed his gaze, and huffed.

"He's been here all morning. Please find a very important mission for him to go on immediately," she requested, and Tom laughed.

"I actually have a mission for you," he said, and walked over to where she was staring into a microscope. "Lunch."

"Not hungry," she mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

"You skipped breakfast. It's time to eat something," he said, and some of his 'I am the commander' tone slipped into his voice.

"I said, I'm not hungry."

Tom sighed, and perched himself on the edge of her desk.

"Already tried, Cap. She's not biting," Tex added from his chair in the opposite corner.

"Rachel," he said quietly, softly, his voice toned down so that his words were just for her. "You need to eat. You can't save all of humanity if you starve yourself to death."

"I have work to do. I have to... I have to run these tests. I think I may actually be able to bypass another set of primate testing and go straight to human trials. The prototype is surprisingly stable. We just need to-"

"We need to go have lunch."

Rachel sighed, rolling her eyes and giving in, pushing her chair away from her desk and motioning with her hand for him to proceed.

"Fine. Lead the way."

Tom grinned, hopping off the desk and walking toward the door. Tex stared on in shock, his mouth open and his chair still spinning slightly.

"What witchcraft...?" he wondered, standing to his feet to follow after them. Hey, he hadn't had lunch either.

November 30th, 2013 - 13:30 (1:30 pm)

Tom didn't normally eat in the mess, but today he was following right behind Rachel, making sure she put at least one protein and one grain on her plate. After gathering their food, Tom led her to a small table in the corner, quiet and as far away from the other soldiers as possible. He would have suggested they eat somewhere more isolated, but he recognized Rachel's need for normalcy.

She had been talking the entire way through the line, and he had understood maybe one word in six that she said. She knew that he didn't understand, but she couldn't stop herself from rambling.

"I don't have the equipment to sustain any kind of quarantine for more than a few days, which is just enough time for one trial, with as many people as I can fit into the lab. I'm going to need at least six volunteers, and yes, I do understand what I'm asking. I would just test it on myself, but I need several different variables for testing - both genders, a range of ages, races, and sizes to determine the dosing of the vaccine, and -"

"Rachel," Tom gently interrupted her, handing her a fork and motioning toward her plate. "Eat. Take a breath."

Rachel breathed out deeply, glaring at Tom. But she sighed, and scooped up a forkful of pasta. "I can talk and eat at the same time."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" Tex asked as he dropped his tray down beside them. Rachel flinched as the tray dropped, and then rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, the trials. We would need to run blood tests on any potential volunteers, see who checks off the boxes I need. No serious medical history, no pre-existing conditions. The process will need to be completely confidential, so no one feels pressured."

Tom took a bite of his own lunch and nodded.

"Doc, when are you wanting to start the trials?" Tex asked.

"As soon as possible, actually. I was anticipating the need to run another trial on primates, but the time needed to go out of our way and get them could be better used, I believe, working with Dr. Tophet in the lab to further stabilize the vaccine. We're close, I know we are."

"I can get word out to the crew as soon as today. How much time do you need to screen the volunteers?" Tom asked, already mulling the idea over in his brain.

"Hours, maybe a day. No more than a day," she said, taking a second bite and then pushing her food around on her plate.

Tom nodded.

He needed to talk to Mike and Jeter.

November 30th, 2013 - 14:20 (2:20 pm)

"How are we going to ask them to do this?" Tom asked, rubbing a hand over his face as he turned to face the ocean. XO Mike Slattery and Master Chief Russ Jeter were standing to his right, processing what their Captain had just told them. She's ready to start human trials, he'd said, and then they had moved their conversation outside so they wouldn't be overheard.

"We don't have the time or resources to find anyone else," Mike reasoned. "And even if we could find others, I don't relish the idea of inviting strangers onto our ship."

"Then I think that I have to volunteer," Tom said.

"Hey, we just risked everything to save your sorry ass so that you could lead!" Mike argued.

"What kind of message does that send?" Tom asked, running his fingers through his hair. "You have the rank, so you can sit it out? Everyone else can be the guinea pigs?"

"Captain's right. Someone from a leadership position has to set an example," Jeter said, a small smile on his face. "Which is why I already approached Dr. Scott about testing me. She says I might tick off some of the boxes she needs. African-American, male over 40."

"Master Chief - "

"With all due respect, gentlemen, I've already volunteered. You don't even know if you qualify."

Tom was silent for a moment, and then exhaled again.

"All right. Spread the word that we need volunteers. Let the crew know that it will be completely confidential. I don't want anyone feeling pressured."

November 30th, 2013 - 18:00 (6:00 pm)

"Oh my god," Rachel whispered, staring in astonishment as people continued to file into her lab.

There were so many people.

"I didn't expect this many to volunteer," Rachel whispered to the Captain. He was standing by the table she had set her screening equipment up on, next to two other identical tables manned by Doc Rios and Dr. Tophet. They were hoping to screen and select volunteers tonight, and then inform them so that they could be ready to go at 0600 the next morning.

"You inspire them," Tom said, brushing a hand over Rachel's shoulder as the first of the volunteers came and sat down at her table.

Besides a light pink blush on her cheeks and a tiny smile pulling at the left corner of her mouth, Rachel didn't respond. Instead, she turned her attention to the young woman in front of her. Tom crossed his arms over his chest, settling in to watch over the proceedings for as long as it took.

"Name?"

"Maya Gibson."

"Age?"

"29."

"Any significant medical history?" Rachel continued questioning as she ran an antiseptic wipe over Maya's arm. She inserted a butterfly needle into the juncture of Maya's elbow, drawing out a small amount of blood. As Maya answered her questions, she inserted some of the blood into the hematology analyzer.

"No."

"Pre-existing conditions?"

Tom watched as person after person cycled through the med bay, answering questions, offering blood, offering their lives to help save the world. There were so many of them - he would estimate that at least a third of the crew came in to offer to volunteer for the trials. He truly did believe that she was the reason that so many volunteered. She was willing to risk her life repeatedly to help others, and they were simply inspired to do the same.

In the end, it was well after midnight when they finished screening the volunteers. Rachel sat back, exhausted and elated, when the lab finally emptied out.

"Dr. Tophet and I will go over these; we should be able to pick out the six who will cover as many of the conditions I need to be covered for a successful trial. We will be ready to go in the morning," she told the Captain, who was still standing behind her (he had left her side only to grab her tea, or snacks, and at one point a sweater when she began shivering).

He nodded, and then frowned, her words registering.

"And when are you planning on sleeping? Because I know for a fact that once you start these trials you won't be sleeping until they're over."

Rachel avoided his eyes, biting her lip as she looked away.

"This is important."

"You are important," Tom argued. "How about this. You sleep for a few hours, and meet Dr. Tophet at 0600. We push back the starting time until 1800."

"We shouldn't waste any time," Rachel shot back, stacking the papers from those she had screened with the ones that Rios and Dr. Tophet had screened and setting them all down on the table closest to them.

"Taking care of yourself is not wasting time."

Rachel inhaled deeply.

Working today had been a great distraction, but as the night wore on, she had felt the anxiety of last night return. It was easier during the day, to forget everything that had happened. She was able to distract herself with work - work that was vitally important to the survival of the human race.

No better way to distract herself from the trauma of what happened than realizing that the fate of the world was literally in her hands.

"Rachel?" Tom questioned, inching closer as her silence wore on.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "I know I'm going to have nightmares. I'd rather just... not."

"You slept OK last night," he reasoned, cupping her elbow in his palm, his fingers wrapping around her arm. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to comfort her, but he wasn't sure it was welcome. Last night had been different. Today seemed more normal, back to the status quo. Last night seemed so far away.

"I wasn't alone last night," she whispered, picking at the sleeve of her green sweater.

"You don't have to be alone tonight, if you don't want to."

Rachel sniffled, turning to look at the Captain.

"I can't ask that of you."

One night, right after everything had happened, was one thing. A second night taking comfort in his bed, in his arms, was different. It was a pattern. And she knew that the longer this went on, the harder it would be to finally go back to her own quarters when it ended.

"You're not asking, I'm offering."

"I... I want to," she said. "I just don't know if I should."

"I don't mind. I like knowing that you're safe and taken care of."

She knew she should say no. It was inappropriate on several levels. He was the captain, and though she didn't work directly under him or report to him, she knew that it would still be frowned upon. She didn't want to take advantage of him or what he was offering, or get used to it when she knew it was something that she couldn't keep.

"Rachel," Tom said, sitting down on the desk so that their eyes met at the same height. "Listen to me. I don't know if you aren't saying yes because you're worried about what others will think, or because you're afraid that I'm offering just because I feel guilty, or because you feel like you shouldn't. But I am offering this to you because I care about you, and I want you to rest and heal. What happened to you is horrifying; what they did is despicable. You're allowed to be hurting, and you're allowed to be unsure, and you're allowed to have a good night of sleep before you save the entire goddamn world. OK? I can take the couch, or I can hold you again. Whatever you need. But I am offering because I want you to feel safe, and for some reason, that's with me. I don't necessarily understand why, but I can't deny that I'm glad that I can offer you that."

Finally, Rachel nodded, almost imperceptibly. Tom smiled, standing up and drawing her into his arms. When she rested her head on his shoulder, he chanced a soft, barely there kiss on her head, pressed into her hair as he breathed her scent in deeply.

"All right then. Let's get some rest, and then tomorrow, you can save the world."