Hello Everyone! Let me get the formalities down before anything!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. While Emily is an Original Character for this story, she is in fact a real person, so I don't even own her. Please do not sue.

Did anyone notice Fred's absence from the last chapter? I know that you are all very, very angry with Fred (again, I don't blame you.), however, I think that after this chapter you will all be a bit more sympathetic towards him. If you all still hated him, you wouldn't be exactly thrilled once the get together (that is, if I decide they should get back together ;)

Here is chapter 5!

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Let it be known, to everyone in the world, that Fred Weasley is an idiot. In one day, one day, I ruined my whole life. I completely messed everything up.

In one idiotic move, I lost my family, my friends, and probably most importantly, the love of my life. My mother tried. She tried to get me to forget. But she was the only one. The girls all got teary when they saw me, and the guys all looked ready to murder me. Even George! My own twin had turned against me. Trust me, this made work awkward.

My life was beginning to spiral out of control. With out Hermione, damn, it was like I was fighting on my own side. Without even realizing it, Hermione made me happier than I'd ever been.

Who else could make me so serious and caring? No one. Hermione brought out a side of me that no one had ever seen. After we began dating, Fred Weasley was seen as more than just a prankster. Since we've been broken up, all I've been seen as is a jerk.

I tried and tried to get rid of anything that reminded me of her. I tried to get rid of the little mementos I had treasured, from mine and Hermione's important memories. I couldn't. Do you know how much it kills me that I will never see her again? I can't let go of the little things that I have left of her.

You know the candles, from our first date? I still have those. I never use them, but I have them. And the scarf? The one I wore when I first told her I liked her? I still have that too. Again, I never use it, but it's nice to have it. The movie I bought, the day we had our first kiss? Still have it. I actually watch it sometimes. It's my little piece of her. I watch it, and I think of her.

All this… it's so not like me, I know. What has she done to me? What have I done to myself?

I try to avoid it, but my mum is scary. There are days when I have to go to the Burrow. I usually end up having to go for Christmas.

Anyone remember where the Christmas tree is? In the living room. Anyone remember what happened in the living room? Something along the lines of a first kiss?

Yes, well, I remember. I remember so much, that the first Christmas after we broke up, I put a whole in the wall. The place brought back too many memories. It was not good to be in that room for too long.

In fact, it is still hard for me to step outside. So many things happened out there. When I first told her I liked her, and our first date, and even our first dance.

And I am alone. I had no idea what to do. I have to find her. I have to tell her how sorry I am. I have to get her back.

She was everything. Everything that I wanted. I need her to come and tell me that everything will be okay. I need her to be here with me.

I need her. To see her, and to talk to her. Laugh with her, hold her. But no. I was a jerk. I don't deserve her. And I know that.

I did all I could. I got rid of her image around my flat—made her face disappear. Pictures got stashed away, and picture frames were over turned. But even so, I couldn't get her out of my head. Those pictures? The stashed ones? Often they would be pulled out of their hiding places for glances, or sometimes I would even stare at them for hours.

Most of them were worn, but still in good condition. A few of them were distinctly crinkled, as though someone, namely me, had balled it up, only to flatten it out and stare at it some more.

Letters were worse. I had so many letters from her, most of them just asking me how my day went, or telling me how much she loved me. These were even more worn and crinkled than the photos. Each letter had probably been read a hundred times over. There was nothing else left to do. The unnatural quiet left my thoughts to swim around in my head, filling the empty air.

The quiet. It scared me. There was always an eerie silence surrounding my flat. Not at all like it was before our break up. In this silence, this maddening, maddening silence, I could hear her laugh, her voice, hell, I could hear her smile.

Thoughts swirled, and my breathing often became ragged. I was broken. She used to have this way of getting to me, where as long as I was with her, I could forget to breathe, and all would be fine. Now, I forgot to breathe, but something was missing. Her. Without her, I was drowning.

Often times, at night, I stare at my alarm clock (which who else but Hermione had bought for me. Something about me always being late in the morning.) which hadn't been set for ages, which had been left to blink at 8:18.

It's a scary thing, to know that you've lost everything.

You know, until about two years ago, I didn't believe in the saying "You don't know what you've got until you lose it." Now I do. She was right in front of me the whole time.

I was just too high and mighty to admit that I was still in love with her too. I loved selfishly; she loved selflessly. She was the one who got her heart broken; I did the breaking. How this is fair, I have no idea.

I've asked George on one occasion, just one, if he's heard from her. It was frightening. I was stupid enough to do it in front of the whole family.

Flashback

Everyone was sitting at the dinner table, laughing and talking. Well, everyone except me. It was two months after she had left. I was still heartbroken. I looked around the table, and saw that George and Emily had just finished their conversation with Percy.

"Erm… George?"

George looked up, no emotion playing on his face. I didn't know whether to take this as a good or bad sign. "Yes?"

"Have you… erm… uh… Have you heard from… Have you talked to Hermione?" I said, very unsure of how he would react.

His eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows furrowed. He was glaring at me!

"No." I looked around the table, which had suddenly gone quiet. He wasn't the only one glaring.

End of Flashback

That had been very, very bad. That was the final straw. That's when I started avoiding family functions.

Yes, George was very, very scary when it came to protecting his friends and family. Well, since the break up, I haven't been included in "Family."

Okay, maybe by mum, but she doesn't count. Mum would never let anyone in our family go. She even accepted Percy back into the family!

But I suppose I am babbling now. Hermione was gone, and that was all that truly mattered. I needed to find her. We were meant to be together.

We truly are over, and I am broken.

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Okay, so this was a bit anticlimactic, but I love it. You really get to dig deep into the mind of a madman (Fred). I couldn't have you all hating him, now could I?

Okay, don't kill me! I know you were all hyped about Hermione coming back, as she will be in chapter 6, but I had to put this chapter in! I love it to pieces! I promise I will have my next update up by next weekend (that means I could have it up by next Sunday.)

Okay, please don't kill me! I love all of my reviewers, and I hope you all will be understanding! There WAS a point to this chapter!

Edited 11/13/06.

Love,

Monica