Author's Note: Welcome once again, everyone, to another of my crazy fan fics. I think I should probably state at some point that, although I do like Trigun very much, none of these fics would have come to be had my pet senior Jay-chan not whined and whimpered most pitifully for them. (Bless her, she sometimes has the attention span of a hamster. Getting her to focus on a fic until it's over and ask for another chapter is a challenge I welcome.) Thanks, Jay-sweetie, for loaning me your short attention span.

Disclaimer: Trigun and everything remotely related to that title belongs to Yasuhiro Nightow-san, who I sincerely hope never reads this. (sweat)

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

To all involved, it seemed a miracle. After more than a century of trying, the plants had succeeded. It was raining on Gunsmoke.

The scent of it drifted on a cool breeze, accompanied by the laughter of children and the joyous shouts of their elders. Truly it was a time of celebration, despite the fact that the sudden surge of water had caused countless flash floods and mudslides across the formerly desert planet.

As evening came on, four friends and a little black cat sat on the front porch of a tidy little hotel in Inepril City, each watching the rain fall and coping with the blessed event in their own "special" way.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" Millie Thompson blubbered into her lace hankie. "Isn't it wonderful, senpai?"

"It sure is, Millie." Meryl Strife smiled as she gazed out at what had become a genuine downpour, for once not even annoyed by her partner's constant weeping. "Can you imagine what effect this is going to have on the planet?"

"Yeah!" Vash the Stampede smiled his kawaii smile from the bottom step of the porch. "Now the kids can go out and play whenever they want to and not have to worry about getting all hot and thirsty and sun burnt!"

Meryl sweat-dropped. "Besides that, you dunce. I mean the small fact that Gunsmoke could actually become a second Earth! Doesn't that mean anything to your pea-sized brain?" Vash cowered, assuming she was going to take a swing at him, but she merely returned to watching the rain. "Hmm... I wonder how the plants managed it..."

"By the will of God, of course." Nicholas D. Wolfwood lazily reclined in a flimsy wooden chair smoking a cigarette, skillfully balancing the chair on two legs by bracing his feet against the porch railing.

"You shouldn't do that, Mr. Priest," Millie sniffled around her hankie. "You could fall and hurt yourself."

"No, I won't." As if on cue the chair toppled over, sending the startled priest sprawling square on top of Vash's pet cat. Kuroneko-sama hissed and spit ferociously as he tried to escape from under Wolfwood's weight.

"Wolfwood, get off him!" Vash leapt into action, pulling the cat out from under his friend. This proved somewhat difficult, as said cat was gouging holes in both Wolfwood and the floorboards in his attempts to get loose.

"Are you alright, Mr. Priest?" Millie asked.

Wolfwood got to his feet somewhat stiffly and examined the tatters of what had until recently been the front of his jacket and the only clean white shirt he owned. His chest was bloody. "Oh, sure. I'm fine."

"Aw, did he hurt you?" Vash asked sympathetically. Nicholas, surprised that Vash cared, turned to answer but discovered to his annoyance that he was not the one being questioned. Vash was on his knees facing away from the peeved priest, arms open wide. "Oh, poor kitty! Come here, kitty kitty, let Vash see."

Wolfwood glared at the cat as it sauntered smugly past him and leapt into Vash's arms. Purring louder than the drumming rain, Kuroneko snuggled up to the gunman and rubbed its head under his chin. Meryl rolled her eyes. Millie smiled at the kawaii-ness. Wolfwood nearly gagged on his cigarette.

"Nick, you've got to be careful with him," Vash admonished the muttering priest while stroking the smug cat. "He's only a little kitty. You might really hurt him!"

"Oh, of course. How thoughtless of me."

"Now you're just being sarcastic."

"Vash, why don't you tell it to be careful with me?" Wolfwood yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the animal in question. "It has nine lives, but I've only got one, you know? I swear, that animal has it in for me! It bites and scratches me on a regular basis!"

Vash face-vaulted. "Nick, that's just silly. He's a cat! He doesn't know what he's doing. You must just annoy him, or something. Maybe he doesn't like your aftershave? I'm sure it's nothing personal."

Wolfwood was about to loudly argue the point when a huge flash of light lit the evening sky. Vash's blonde hair spiked up even farther (if that's at all possible) as he shot up the steps and darted behind the rocking chair that Millie was occupying. "What was that?"

"I think it's lightning, Mr. Vash!" Millie squealed happily, lowering her hankie. "My middle big brother used to tell me about storms all the time! It's more beautiful than I could have imagined!"

"What's the matter, Tongari?" Wolfwood chuckled, lighting another cigarette. "Scared of a little light?"

"Ha-hahahaha, no way!" Vash laughed in his annoying, high-pitched way as he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, slowly easing out from behind the chair. Meryl sniggered, not believing a word. "Don't laugh! I wasn't scared! It just startled me, is all!"

A split second later, a deafening boom rattled the hotel's rickety windowpanes.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Abandoning his pride, Vash bolted into the hotel, screaming in French.

Millie smiled, apparently over her crying fit. "Should I go remind him that thunder can't hurt you, senpai?"

"That's okay, Millie." Meryl sighed as she got to her feet and gave a hard stretch. "I think we should all go inside, anyway. It looks like we might have a real storm brewing out there! Isn't this exciting?"

As the two insurance girls entered the hotel, chattering happily together, Wolfwood held back. He stared at the small black cat lying peacefully on the porch rail. With a well placed kick, he turned and followed the girls, satisfied that justice had been served.

The cat sat in a puddle of muddy water, raindrops dripping off its whiskers, staring at the door the priest had just closed. Wolfwood had caused Kuroneko-sama an indignity. A demonic smile lit the cat's furry face. There was gonna be hell to pay.

O.O.O.O.O

Two hours later, the storm hit full force. Rain poured down, lightning flashed continuously, and thunder boomed. Vash huddled in the middle of his tiny hotel bed, blankets pulled over his head. He had been a nervous wreck since Wolfwood had pulled him out from under the service desk in the lobby shaking with fear earlier that evening, and he was still terrified.

"I'll be fine," he whispered to himself, pulling the blankets closer around his shoulders. "I'm the fearless outlaw, Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon! I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine..."

There was a huge crash of thunder from directly above the hotel that made the entire tiny building shake. Vash dove out of bed and bolted down the hall. "I'm not fine, I'm not fine!" Reaching Wolfwood's door, he began to pound on it with both fists. "Wolfwooood!"

Said priest, jolted from his peaceful slumbers, leapt out of bed and grabbed his Cross Punisher, thinking that Vash needed help beating down some enemy or other that had broken into the hotel. What he found when he wrenched open the door, however, was the very bedraggled Stampede clutching a pillow and wearing a very sheepish smile.

"Wolfwood, can I sleep with you tonight?"

Wolfwood face-vaulted. "No."

"Aw, come on, Nick, please?"

"No. Go back to bed."

"But Nick..." Vash whined pitifully. "My room is scary!"

"Broom-head, our rooms are exactly the same." At Vash's forlorn look, Wolfwood sighed and ran a hand over his tired face. "Come on, Tongari. I'll walk you back to your own room and show you there's nothing to be afraid of."

"Well... okay..." Vash followed Wolfwood back down the hall, if a bit reluctantly, to the room he had so hastily fled mere moments before.

Nicholas flipped on the light. "See? Just a plain, old, ordinary, overly expensive cracker-box hotel room like we've been checking into almost every night for the past few months. Nothing to be scared of, huh? At least not until we get the bill tomorrow! Goodnight." Laughing at his own joke, Wolfwood tried to pull the door closed behind him. It didn't budge, due to the gunman holding onto the knob.

"Are you totally sure I can't—"

"Yes I'm sure! Goodnight, Vash!" Shutting the door on the outlaw and his pillow, Wolfwood headed for his room, cursing childish blonde gunman with irrational nighttime fears. He was halfway there when another clap of thunder made him jump and clutch reflexively at the Cross Punisher he'd brought along out of habit . "Whew! That was a big one. I guess these storms really do take some getting used—HOLY HELL!"

The priest frantically swung Cross Punisher around himself, trying to hit the person that had glomped him from behind. He missed completely and took a large chunk of plaster out of the hallway wall.

"Please, please, please, Nick, let me stay in your room!" Vash wailed, clinging to the priest's legs.

"No!" Wolfwood snarled, vainly trying to piece the plaster back into the wall. "I told you before, there's nothing scary about your room!"

"It's not the room, Nick, it's this storm! I'm not used to thunder! I keep thinking someone's shooting at me!"

"Don't be stupid, needle-noggin," Wolfwood growled, but his tone and the force behind the reprimand had softened drastically. He once more escorted Vash back to his room. "Look, just pretend that the noise is the Nebraska family walking around town."

Vash sniffled, considering the idea. "Are they doing anything illegal or potentially dangerous to the citizens?"

"No. They just got out of Sunday service at church and now they're buying ice cream and window shopping and having a great ol' time. Goodnight."

Wolfwood closed the door and Vash was once more left to himself. Glancing around once or twice to be sure everything was secure, he crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. "Okay, Vash, you can do this. Just pretend it's the Nebraska family..."

And indeed, after a few minutes the steady sound of the rain lulled Vash into a light doze. That is, until the loudest thunderclap of the night exploded directly over the hotel, seeming louder than every gun ever shot at Vash combined. The gunman was out of bed in record time, scratching and scrabbling at the priest's door like a puppy abandoned in the storm. "Wolfwooooooood!"

"Tongari, this is getting really old!" Nicholas yelled, appearing at the door. "What happened to you pretending it was the Nebraska family?"

"I dreamed that the big hideous mother sat on me!"

Wolfwood closed his eyes and began to beat his forehead against the doorframe. "Look, Vash, we paid good money for that room and you are going to sleep in it!" Placing his hands on Vash's back, he pushed the whimpering gunman back down the hallway. "Now for the final time, you stay in here! One more peep from you tonight and I'm calling Meryl and letting her deal with you!" Vash gulped, suitably afraid of the wrath of the short insurance girl woken from a sound sleep in the middle of the night.

Closing the door firmly, Wolfwood ran for his room, checking behind him every few steps to be sure he wasn't bing followed. Darting inside, he locked the door behind him. That ought to keep the needle-noggin out. Satisfied, the tired priest got back into bed and conked off once more.

O.O.O.O.O

Vash waited a good three minutes before cautiously creeping back down the hall.

Tiptoeing to Wolfwood's door, he gently tried to turn the handle. It wouldn't budge. Hmm, locked out, Vash thought, frowning. Never one to be discouraged, he reached up to the top of the door, searching for the spare key he felt sure would be there. The priest was notorious for losing his key and getting locked out of his own room, so he had taken to sticking a spare over the door.

Success. Slipping quietly inside, Vash snuck over to the bed. Careful not to disturb the snoozing priest, he made himself at home. This time, when thunder rolled across the vast, lonely desert, he didn't bat an eye, secure in the knowledge that Wolfwood (and the Cross Punisher propped against the bedside table) was right beside him.

O.O.O.O.O

Wolfwood tossed restlessly in his sleep. In his dreams, a giant black cat in silken robes and a golden crown told him that he must pay. Out of nowhere, twenty six black cat ninjas appeared with katanas drawn. Wolfwood turned and ran, the black cat ninjas hot on his heels, across a black landscape devoid of anything but pink ears, bright green eyes, and sharp white teeth. The black cat ninjas were gaining. Wolfwood tried to run faster but it made no difference. He couldn't run much longer. Suddenly, he was falling. Falling through darkness with little black cats all around him.

Then, one of his flailing arms hit something warm and solid. That wasn't supposed to be there, was it? Forgetting all about the black cats, Wolfwood poked the warm object curiously. It moved. Wolfwood opened his eyes.

"Gaaaaaaahh!"

Vash smiled his kawaii smile not two inches from Wolfwood's face. "Hi, Nick."

"No! No, no, no, no, no!"

Vash suddenly found himself staring at the floor and the backs of Wolfwood's legs as the priest threw him over his shoulder and stormed out of the room. "Please, Nicky, no!" he wailed. "I don't wanna gooooo! Let me stay with yooooou!"

"What about NO don't you understand, needle-noggin? Is that broom-head of yours unable to handle the concept? Come Hell or high water, you're going to sleep in your own bed!"

"No! Put me down!"

"I swear to God, you are so childish!"

"I am not!" Vash began to kick and beat his fists against the priest's back, but Wolfwood didn't pause in his mission to deliver Vash back to his end of the hallway. Suddenly, the blonde got an idea. The band of Wolfwood's boxers was just visible over the waist of his sweat pants. Vash seized the band and gave it a hard yank upwards.

With a shriek of indignant, disbelieving rage, Wolfwood dropped Vash and grabbed at his pants. Upon hitting the ground, Vash scrambled in the direction of the priest's room. Nicholas tackled him before he'd gone two yards, sending them both slamming into the wall.

"Oww!"

"Stay out of there, dammit!"

"Nick, you're so mean to me!"

"Mean? I'll show you mean, you insane, broom-headed excuse for an outlaw!" As Wolfwood drew back for a swing, an enormous crash of thunder made the priest instinctively duck and cover. In seconds Vash, spared from punishment, was clinging to him and sniveling pitifully.

"See, Nick? It's scary! Are you sure you don't want some company...?"

"I was not scared!" Nicholas denied. "It was just...a shock, that's all. And I do not want company! Get back to your room!"

"No!"

Thus began a series of girly slaps, kicks, bites, and hair pulling. As he was nearly sitting on Vash Wolfwood had the upper hand in the slapping department, but Vash was better able to kick from his lower position, so in all honesty they were pretty evenly matched.

"Why in God's name do you have to be so stubborn?"

"Why do you have to be so mean?"

"I just want to sleep alone in my own bed! I suppose that's a crime nowadays?"

"Well I just want the reassurance of being close to a friend! I guess that's illegal too, huh?"

"Don't you turn me into the bad guy here, Tongari! It's two in the freakin' morning, I've gotten no sleep whatsoever, and you won't leave me the Hell alone because you're scared of some noise!"

The gunman's puppy eyes began to fill with tears. Wolfwood remained unmoved, so Vash decided it was time to try the advanced technique. "Well, you...you...you hate me!" he wailed, beginning to cry in earnest.

"What? Vash, no, I don't hate you, it's just that—"

"You do hate me! You hate me and Meryl hates me and I'm going to go sleep with Millie!"

Wolfwood's jaw dropped. "No you are not!"

"Yes I am, and you can't stop me!" Vash whined/pouted. Kicking off the stunned priest and picking himself up off the floor, he headed for his room to fetch his pillow, wincing at another flash of lightning through the patched curtains.

"Uh, Vash, wait! I changed my mind! You can stay with me!"

"No." Vash didn't even pause. "You don't like me."

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't."

"I do! I like you a lot!"

The blonde was suddenly standing in front of the priest, fluttering his eyelashes. "Really?"

Wolfwood sweat-dropped. "Uh, sure. In a totally normal way, you understand."

"Right." As Vash ran for his pillow, Wolfwood ran a hand over his face, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He hoped Millie would appreciate his extreme sacrifice on her behalf.

O.O.O.O.O

"Thanks again, Nick." Vash happily fluffed his pillow and plopped backwards onto it.

"Yeah, yeah," Wolfwood grumbled, not bothering to look at the sickeningly cheerful gunman. "Can I turn the light out yet?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Turning off the lamp, Wolfwood lay down and pulled the blankets up to his ears. "Alright, Tongari, this is the end of the line. Mess up again and I swear by all that is holy I will wail on you with Cross Punisher until you fall to the floor unconscious, and then I will drag your senseless body out into the street and leave you there to sleep. Got it?"

Vash gulped. "Got it. Goodnight, Nicky."

"And don't call me Nicky!"

"Right. G'night, Wolfwood." Vash closed his eyes and let his head fall onto the pillow. In moments he was asleep, the stress of the stormy evening suddenly catching up to him with a vengeance.

After a few minutes of Vash being silent, Wolfwood cautiously rolled over an took a peek. "Damn, he was serious. Huh. He must've been totally exhausted... Maybe I should have just let him stay the first time... Oh, well. G'night, Vash." With a fond pat to his friend's spiky hair, the priest settled down to sleep. The whole ordeal wasn't really that bad at all. Vash was still as a stone, his breathing deep and even. If Wolfwood hadn't known he was there, the gunman would have been almost unnoticeable. Surprised and pleased, Nicholas drifted off at last.

O.O.O.O.O

"Knives, nooooo!"

Wolfwood came awake like a grenade had been detonated as Vash's fist landed forcefully on the bridge of his nose.

"The last donut is mine...! You... you've already eaten five... It's mine! Put it down! Don't you eat it, Knives! I'll... I'll tell Rem!"

Wolfwood groaned, collapsing back against the pillows. He should have known it was too good to be true. He gingerly felt his nose, hoping it wasn't bleeding or worse, broken. Vash tossed and turned fitfully, muttering incoherent threats and pleas at his dream twin. Finally the blonde curled up on his side away from Wolfwood, snuggled into the blankets, and lay still. At length, even the muttering stopped and the room was silent once more.

"Thank you, God," the priest sighed. He desperately hoped that Vash would have no more violent dreams that night. Glancing at the clock, Wolfwood cursed under his breath. It was a quarter to three! Glaring down at the gently sleeping Stampede, Nicholas turned his back on him and closed his eyes.

KA-BOOM!

The eyes immediately opened again. Damn this storm to the fiery pits of hell! Was it ordained in heaven that he was to get no rest that night, or what? Vash whimpered in his sleep and rolled over, wrapping his arms around Wolfwood's waist in reaction to the loud thunder. Well, that answered the priest's question.

"Uh, no, Vash, that's just a little too close, there." With some difficulty, Wolfwood managed to pry the plant off, giving him a hard shove towards his side of the bed. In seconds, though, Vash was back, clutching at Wolfwood's arm and whimpering as another burst of thunder rumbled over the building. "Oh, for cryin' out loud, Tongari!"

Nicholas lay there, foul-tempered and exasperated, Vash unwittingly cuddling his arm. He wished Millie knew what he was going through so she could have a peaceful, uninterrupted night's sleep. She would undoubtedly be thankful and praise his generosity, his chivalry, his gallantry. Thinking of Millie and her never-ending gratitude, Wolfwood unconsciously began to relax. He was on the verge of sleep when yet more thunder caused Vash to throw an arm over his chest and neck, nearly strangling him in the process.

"Dammit, you clingy blonde fungus, get off me!" Nicholas squirmed and kicked, trying to dislodge the so-called fungus, but Vash held on tightly, seeming determined to hang onto his warm, secure, improvised teddy bear.

Dear God, Nicholas thought as he tried to wriggle free, please think nothing of this. Though it might appear horribly wrong and an unforgivable sin in Thine eyes, I assure Thee that nothing is meant by this encounter. Please forgive Vash, for he knows not what he does. And please help me to remember Thy merciful will and not kill the fungus in his sleep. Otherwise, please bring forth unto me a holy hand grenade, so that I might blow the fungus to tiny bits, in Thy mercy. Amen.

Shit. He knew watching Monty Python was a bad idea.

O.O.O.O.O

Twenty minutes later, Wolfwood finally felt his eyelids growing heavy. Vash had finally released him, allowing the priest to find a comfortable position in which to sleep. Shortly thereafter, the ceiling had begun to leak, forcing Wolfwood to get out of bed and put a cup underneath it. Four leaks and six cups later (in his sleep-deprived daze he had broken two), he finally thought he stood a decent chance of getting to sleep.

Wolfwood allowed his eyes to close. He still had a good four hours to sleep, if he was lucky. Meryl was a real stickler when it came to getting up and checking out on time, but he was determined not to take any of her crap the next morning. Not even if Millie begged. Okay, so maybe if Millie begged. Sighing quietly at the trials and tribulations of life, the priest at last dozed off.

A few minutes later, the door drifted open with a soft creak. Wolfwood heard the minute noise and felt the slight draft of cool air from the hallway. He opened his eyes cautiously. There in the doorway, illuminated by a sudden flash of lightning, sat Vash's cat.

Oh, great, just what I need. As the room went dark once again, Nicholas reached for a shoe to throw at the intruding hairball and waited for the next flash of lightning. When it came a few seconds later, Wolfwood blinked in surprise. The door was closed. The cat was gone.

Huh. That's weird. I guess it left on its own. Dropping the shoe, the exhausted priest let his head fall forward into the pillow. His tired eyes moved of their own accord to do a last, lazy scan of the room. Lightning flashed. There, on the dresser, not ten feet away, sat the cat.

Wolfwood nearly had a heart attack. The cat looked positively demonic. Its teeth were bared in a hideous smile that stretched nearly from eye to eye, showing every pointed fang. The eyes themselves were tiny green slits under fiendishly pointed ears that bore a great and disturbing resemblance to horns. Freaky.

As the flash disappeared and the room was reduced to darkness, Nicholas shrank back, once more clutching the shoe. What was wrong with this animal? Did Vash forget to feed it that night or something? It looked fully capable of devouring a side of beef. Or a priest.

Shaking off that very disturbing thought, Wolfwood raised the shoe. He fully intended to send the cat packing with the next flash of lightning. When it came again, however, he received a nasty shock. The cat was no longer on the dresser. It had moved to the floor about eight feet from the bed, but it was in exactly the same position, not a whisker different from before. And, as Wolfwood watched, it slowly lifted a paw, one claw extended, and pointed straight at Wolfwood, smiling evilly.

Nicholas gulped, suddenly very thankful for Vash's warm, slumbering form at his back. This could get ugly. "What do you want?" he asked the cat, voice as calm as he could manage.

The cat raised its paw and drew the extended claw slowly and deliberately across its neck.

"You mean you want to kill me?"

The cat nodded.

Nicholas felt faint. Jesus Christ, why are all the demons drawn to me?! First the little blonde brat, now a cat that's Satan incarnate! What am I gonna DO?! Wait a second… I'm a priest! I can handle a demon cat any day! Wolfwood slowly reached over into the bedside table drawer and pulled out a Bible. When he looked back again, however, the cat had vanished.

"Oh shit."

Then, from the darkness under the bed, there came a soft meow.

Nicholas completely lost his cool. As a child he had always been terrified of monsters under his bed. Now that long-buried fear rose up and made him do something he had never, ever, never ever ever NEVER thought of doing before. He turned and glomped Vash.

"Vaaash! Wake up! Your cat's a demon and it's under the bed and it wants to kill me and eat my broken body for an unholy midnight snack! DO something!"

Vash yawned, blinking slowly up at the panicked priest. "Aw, Nick, did you have a nightmare?"

Wolfwood's jaw dropped. "No! It's not a dream! Your cat wants me dead!"

Vash sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Alright, alright, Nick. I know dreams can seem very realistic, but you're awake now. And in the real world, kitties do not want to waste people."

"But I was not dreaming!" Wolfwood yelled, wanting to take the gunman by the throat and throttle Vash into believing him. He wasn't some scared five-year-old, damn it!

"Okay, Nick, let's just take a look under the bed."

"Alright, fine. You do that. Just don't act like I didn't warn you when you get your face torn off!"

Disregarding his friend's ranting, Vash got out of bed and turned on the lights. Kneeling beside the bed, he slowly lifted the dust ruffle and peered underneath. "See, Nick? No cats."

"What? Let me see!" Leaping off the bed, Wolfwood crouched down next to Vash and looked. Sure enough, no cat. "But... but... but...! It was under there! I swear it was! I'm not crazy!"

"Okay, let's look around, then." Vash patiently looked in the closet, in the corners, and behind every piece of furniture in the room. There was no sign of the animal.

Wolfwood was baffled. "But... it was here!"

"Nick, I really think you had a bad dream. Why don't you go back to sleep? Things will make more sense in the morning."

"Yeah...more sleep... sure..." Wolfwood was still very much on edge, but he followed his friend's advice and climbed back into bed behind the blonde. Maybe he really had been asleep, and dreamed the whole thing after all. Hell, maybe this whole torturous night had been a bad dream. He hoped so. "Thanks, Tongari. Sorry for the trouble."

"No problem, Nick. Any time. If you need anything else, remember I'm right here."

"Uh, thanks. Goodnight, Vash."

"Night, Nick."

Wolfwood's last thought before sleep claimed him was that Vash would make a great daddy. Too bad Meryl didn't seem to realize that yet. He'd have to have a word with her, as a father to an ignorant daughter. Smiling, he fell asleep.

O.O.O.O.O

As soon as Vash fell asleep, Kuroneko attacked.

The priest's hysterical screams could be heard the hotel over as he frantically tried to pry the cat off his throat, where it was trying tenaciously to bury its fangs in his jugular. The storm chose that moment to snap out of its lull, and a fresh bout of thunder and lightning happily lent their element to the madness.

With a last wild yell Wolfwood managed to sling the cat from himself. It disappeared into a corner as Nicholas collapsed, too traumatized to scream or stand any longer, onto the bed. Amazingly, Vash slept through the whole thing.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Millie burst in, brandishing her stun gun. "Mr. Priest? I heard you shouting! Are you okay?"

Wolfwood, curled in the fetal position in an advanced state of shock, didn't answer.

"What's wrong, Mr. Priest?" Millie, sensing no immanent danger, dropped her gun and hurried over to the bed. "What happened? Why is Mr. Vash here?"

Over her shoulder, Wolfwood saw the cat slipping out the open door. He began to point and jabber hysterically, hovering on the verge of a total nervous breakdown. A loud clap of thunder further added to his unstable state, making him pull the blankets over his head and whine pitifully.

Millie was immediately sympathetic. "Oh, poor Mr. Priest! You were scared of the thunder so Mr. Vash came in to stay with you and make you feel better! That's so nice of him! I wish I had known, though, you would have been welcome to come and sleep with me. Although, senpai is snoring louder than the storm right now... Ha, ha, oh well! Sweet dreams, Mr. Priest."

Tucking the blankets in around the shell-shocked priest and fluffing his pillow in a motherly fashion, Millie gave a dainty yawn and left the room. Wolfwood stared dumbly after her, vainly reaching out both hands. Before he could get up and follow, Vash rolled over and threw an arm around the priest, preventing his escape. Nicholas struggled weakly as the door closed behind Millie. Too late. His sanctuary was gone.

Bursting into tears, he flopped dejectedly onto the pillow. Thunderstorms on Gunsmoke sucked. Poor Wolfwood. But, even his experience would seem like nap time in kindergarten compared to what Legato was dealing with that very same night...

O.O.O.O.O

To be continued…

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

(2nd) Author's note: I also forgot to mention that I don't own Monty Python, either, just a tee with the killer rabbit on it. That rabbit's dynamite! (Insane giggles, claps coconut shells together) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic. Good reviews will earn the posting of the other chapter. Hasta luego, mis amigos!