Chapter 14: I Am The Fire

December 8th, 2013 - 1806 (6:06 pm)

"Sorry, sorry," Rachel apologized as she ran onto the deck of the Nathan James. "I got waylaid by the children. I'm ready now."

Tom watched in amusement as she lugged two large, heavy cases out onto the deck with her. He walked over to her and took the biggest one into his own hands. She sighed with relief when the weight was taken from her. 'Thank you' she mouthed at him, and he nodded, motioning for the other officers to begin loading onto the R.H.I.B. They hadn't been waiting long, but Tom was still relieved to see Rachel arrive in one piece. He knew, logically, that there was little that could happen to her on the ship, but he had still worried when she hadn't shown up early, or even on time.

"Sam?" he guessed, and Rachel nodded, laughing.

"He's ... got a lot of energy," she said diplomatically. Tom snorted.

"He's a menace."

Rachel laughed as she sat down the remaining case that she was holding. Tom held a hand out to her, and she grasped it tightly, letting him help her into the R.H.I.B.

"You love that about him," she teased.

"I do," he agreed, stepping into the smaller boat beside her. "What's in these cases anyway?" he grunted as he pulled first one, then the other onboard with them.

"All of the doses we were able to make. We should have enough for Andrew's whole camp, plus a hundred or so more doses to distribute on the street." At Tom's startled look, she quickly clarified, "Which will be the job of his men, Tom. I know better than to try and argue with you about going back out there myself."

She didn't add that she absolutely would have argued if there hadn't been another, better, option. Thorwald's men knew the area, and were combat trained. It made more sense for them to take to the streets with the cure, rather than going herself. But if there hadn't been another option, she knew that she would have done it in a heartbeat, regardless of what the Captain wanted.

"Plus all of the materials they will need to make the cure themselves. I have enough supplies for them for about a month. I would have given them more, but there's no telling when we will be able to find more, and I believe that Quincy and I can work faster and more efficiently on the ship."

Tom nodded in agreement as Danny began to steer the R.H.I.B in the direction of the shore.

"Good thinking. Plus, we have plans to drop in and check on Baltimore every once in a while. If we find more supplies on our travels, we can bring back more for Thorwald and his people."

Rachel nodded, and then sighed happily. Tom looked at her questioningly, and she said, "It just seems like we're finally making a difference. It's a good feeling."

Tom wanted very much to pull her into his arms and kiss her right then, but he resisted. Instead, he smiled softly at her. "It does feel good," he agreed.

"I just wish there was more we could do," she continued. "I don't feel like we're moving quickly enough."

"Rachel," he whispered, setting a hand on her arm to draw her attention back to him. "You created the cure. We have saved hundreds of lives already. Enjoy the success."

She deflated, smiling at him, and nodded. "You're right. Of course you're right."

"I know you won't stop until we cure the whole world," Tom said. "But one step at a time, sweetheart. You're only one person. You can only do so much at once."

"Yeah!" agreed Tex as he enthusiastically interrupted their private conversation. He was grinning, leaning against the side of the R.H.I.B. Tom rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his men as Tex continued. "We're doing good, Doc. Take a breath. Have a little fun." He waggled his eyebrows at her with the last sentence, and Rachel scoffed, laughing despite herself.

"All right, Tex. You boys win," she conceded, and Tex whooped in success as Rachel turned back to Tom.

"Speaking of having a little fun," she whispered, for his ears only, and Tom turned around so quickly he gave himself whiplash. Rachel laughed at him, her eyes bright and sparkling, but continued. "The kid's bunk beds are all set up. They're very excited to sleep in them tonight."

Tom grinned, unable to help himself. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. We will have the bed all to ourselves again."

"Nothing that you're not ready for," Tom cautioned, staring at her with such a gentle, loving look that she felt her cheeks heat up and her heart rate increase.

"I told you, it makes me feel good when you touch me," she reminded him, and he reached out quickly to caress her bottom lip with his thumb. It was then that they felt the boat lurch as it was pulled ashore.

"To be continued," Tom told her with a heated look, and she nodded, quickly darting her tongue out to press against his thumb before he could pull it away. He groaned, soft and quiet, and muttered something about her being a tease before he pulled back and disembarked the boat.

He held out a hand to help her off, and she smiled, accepting it gladly.

December 8th, 2013 - 1900 (7:00 pm)

"You're a complete goner, man," Tex commented as he walked up beside Tom. The Captain was watching Rachel through the glass door of the lab, his hands resting on his weapon where it was hanging from his neck, a small smile on his face.

Tom turned to the other man, schooling his expression. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that lovesick look on your face. You're totally lost on her."

Tom felt the smile returning despite his best attempts to hold it back.

"You're a lucky son of a bitch, you know that, right?" Tex asked, and Tom could see now that beneath the teasing, Tex was hiding something else, something more.

"I know," he confirmed. And then, "I'm sorry."

"Nah, man, don't worry about it," Tex said, waving his hand. "It was never gonna happen. She has always been gone on you, I could see it from the very beginning. I mighta taken my shot if you hadn't come to your senses, but it was my own damn fault for letting myself fall for someone who was clearly already in love with someone else."

Tom nodded, but he still felt bad. He knew what it was like to love Rachel. It was intense, all consuming. It took his breath away, the feeling of loving and being loved by her. He could sympathize with the man.

"You take good care of her," Tex added after a long silence. "She's a tough one, but we both know that underneath all of it, she's vulnerable."

"I will," Tom promised, and Tex clapped him on the back (narrowly avoiding the injured shoulder) before walking off.

Tom continued to watch his scientist. She was absolutely glowing, a huge grin stretching across her face as she talked with the two others in the lab with her. One was an older woman, a science teacher before the beginning of the Red Flu, and the other was a young man who had been studying virology in college. They were the closest thing Thorwald had to scientists, and Rachel had spent the past hour helping them unload supplies and showing them how to make the cure. She had stayed busy in her lab all day, taking a break only for lunch with the children, painstakingly hand writing everything she knew about the cure down. She'd known that the people who would be making the cure for Thorwald were not highly trained scientists, so she had taken great care to make the process as simple as she could. Tom had encouraged her to make copies of her notes so she didn't have to write it all down again, since this likely wouldn't be the last place that Rachel would be training others to make and distribute the cure.

Rachel looked up and caught his eye, and her smile transformed, her eyes growing heavy with affection as she stared at him.

He couldn't help himself. He walked over to the door of the lab and went in. He just needed to be close to her.

"How's it coming?" he asked, pretending that he had a reason to be in here other than simply basking in the glow of Rachel's happiness.

"Almost done," she said, her hand landing on his arm and squeezing. "Linda and Joshua are excited to begin. We've managed to vaccinate everyone in the camps, and the leftover doses are begin distributed as we speak."

Tom nodded, and continued standing there as Rachel turned her attention back to Linda and Joshua. He didn't understand everything that she was saying, but he enjoyed listening to the soft lilt of her voice as she explained the final steps of dosing.

"You should be able to reach us on the radio if you ever need any help," Rachel finally concluded. "Our communications officers know to be on the lookout for transmissions from Baltimore."

Linda turned and without warning enveloped Rachel in a hug. "Thank you," she said with great sincerity, squeezing the small scientist tightly.

Tom twitched, wanting to move forward in case Rachel needed him, but after the shock of sudden touch had worn off, Rachel found herself hugging the other lady back just as tightly. Tom relaxed, smiling softly as he watched Rachel receive a tiny fraction of the praise she deserved for what she had done.

"You're most welcome," she responded, and then pulled back before moving to hug Joshua as well. "Please keep in touch."

They both promised they would, and then Rachel turned to face Tom.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked, and she nodded, casting a final look around the lab.

"Yes. Let's go home."

December 8th, 2013 - 2100 (9:00 pm)

Once back on the ship, Tom wanted nothing more than to haul Rachel back to his quarters. He was looking forward to a repeat of the previous night's shower, but without the worry, fear, and desperation of the night before. Well, maybe some desperation, but of a wholly different kind.

But they still had work to do.

Sighing, Tom let Rachel go back to her lab with nothing more than a smile and a nod. He had extracted a promise from her that when he came and got her after his meeting that she would be ready to go, but for the time being, he needed to go brief Mike and Jeter.

Ten minutes later found him sitting in the stateroom, nursing a hot cup of coffee gratefully.

"Everything went according to plan," he began. "For once."

Mike laughed, happy to hear the good news. "So," his XO said. "What are our next steps?"

Tom sat back in his chair, bringing his coffee cup to his lips. "We need to begin spreading the cure. Dr. Scott has compiled all of her research and made copies on USB drives. Our goal is to send them, or deliver them, to as many labs across the world as we can. Our main goal now is getting as much of the cure out into the world as possible, across as many continents as possible. I was thinking we could map out a course that would take us to many of the major coastal cities across the continents. We can try and communicate with any remaining labs on land, and if there aren't any, we can do what we just did in Baltimore. Though Thorwald didn't have any trained virologists, his people were smart, and eager to learn. The work Dr. Scott has done to simplify the process will go a long way in helping us train those who remain."

Mike nodded, agreeing. "That's a hell of a trip around the world," he said cautiously. "It'll take us several months to complete."

"I know. We aren't ready to go yet, obviously. We need to have a more concrete plan. I have Rachel working on a list of cities with possible labs. Once we compile our stops, we should be able to make a better plan. Stops for food, fuel, rest for the crew and the ship. Six months, is what she estimated."

Mike let out a breath, and finally said what was weighing on everyone's minds.

"We can't ask the crew to go six more months without trying to find news about their families."

Jeter nodded in agreement, and Tom sighed.

"Yes, we thought of that, too. Therefore, our first stop would be Norfolk. We can spread the cure there, do what good we can, and dock for a few weeks to give the crew a chance to make contact with their families."

"Deer Park is supposed to be a safe zone," Mike continued. "My family is there. It's a good bit inland. We can take a team there with the cure. If it's what they claim it to be, there should be people there who we could train to make and distribute the cure."

"Good idea, Mike," Tom said. "We can brief the crew tomorrow. It won't take long for us to arrive in Norfolk, and I'm sure everyone is eager to find news on their families."

Silence descended over the table.

They all knew that the news that their crew would find would, most likely, not be good news.

But they had to try.

Finally, Jeter cleared his throat and stood up. "I have the bridge tonight. Try and get some rest, gentlemen. We can meet again tomorrow at 0600 to hammer out the details of the plan. For now, I'll begin plotting a course to Norfolk."

Mike and Tom both nodded, standing to their feet as Jeter exited the stateroom.

As they walked into the p-ways, Mike turned to Tom.

"I pray every day Christine and my girls are safe. But I'm terrified of what we might find when we get there," he admitted.

Tom understood his fear. Though he'd received his father's message almost immediately after discovering the true state of the world, he had spent the last several months worried that something had happened to Jed or the kids in the meantime. He understood Mike's fear, and wished there was something he could do to alleviate it.

"Whatever we find," he promised his friend. "We're here for you."

Mike nodded, and then turned to walk in the direction of his quarters. Tom sighed, closing his eyes briefly before opening them and shaking his head. There was nothing he could do now, other than work on getting his crew home to search for their families.

For tonight, all he wanted to do was check on his family, and then fall asleep in the arms of the woman he loved.

December 8th, 2013 - 2222 (10:22 pm)

When Tom walked into the lab and didn't see Rachel anywhere, he could feel dread immediately begin to settle in. His chest was tight and his every nerve on high alert as he cast his gaze around the lab.

Thankfully, Dr. Tophet was there and noticed his presence quickly.

"Dr. Scott left about ten minutes ago," he said. "She said she wanted to check on the children."

Tom relaxed immediately, rubbing a hand over his chest as he nodded.

How had he gotten here? Where he panicked so quickly? He knew that he was possibly suffering from anxiety and some PTSD, but so were the majority of his crew. Knowing, however, did very little to keep the panic at bay whenever he didn't find his scientist where he expected her to be.

"Thank you," he told Quincy, and then turned around quickly to head back to his quarters. He walked swiftly, knowing that the weight on his chest wouldn't dissipate until he saw her and the children, unharmed.

He arrived back at his quarters in record time, and forced himself to open the door quietly instead of barging in like he wanted to. The children were most likely asleep, and he didn't want to wake them.

Rachel was standing in front of the bunks when he walked in, gently tucking Sam's blanket in around him. Like Tom had predicted, both children were fast asleep, though his father was nowhere to be found.

Rachel saw him and smiled. Tom gave her a small smile in return, reaching behind him to close and latch the door. He was just opening his mouth to speak when Rachel shushed him, pressing a delicate finger to his lips and nodding her head in the direction of the bathroom.

Right. Don't wake the kids.

It had been a while since he'd had to worry about that.

It was a nice feeling, having his kids with him, having to worry about waking them.

Rachel took his hand, and tugged him into the small bathroom, closing the door behind them. She smiled, giggling breathlessly, when Tom turned her around and pressed her up against it. He dropped his face into her neck, breathing her in, and it was then that she realized he was upset.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked, and he looked up to meet her eyes.

"You weren't in the lab," he said simply, and understanding flashed across her face.

"I told Quincy to tell you where I was going," she said, and he nodded.

"He did. He told me. I just... I was scared," he admitted. "Anxiety. PTSD. Take your pick. It's not your fault, you did everything right. I just couldn't relax until I saw you."

Rachel gathered him into her arms, pressing herself tightly against his chest.

"I'm here now," she said, and he felt himself relaxing as she held him.

They embraced for several more moments, neither one of them wanting to pull away, but finally, Tom did.

He stared down at Rachel, some of the heat of his earlier gaze returning as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Want to take a shower?" he asked, and she blushed, but nodded enthusiastically.

"Your father decided he wanted to have his own quarters," she explained quickly as she reached for the hem of his t-shirt. He'd shed his bulletproof vest and the rest of his gear before his meeting with Mike and Jeter, so all that was between her and access to his warm chest was his t-shirt.

"That's lucky," he said, leaning down and kissing her gently. Then, "I know you said you're fine when I touch you. I know that you probably are fine, but please promise me you'll tell me if I do something you don't like?"

Rachel nodded. "I promise."

Satisfied, Tom reached to rid her of her t-shirt.

The atmosphere in the bathroom was nothing like the previous night. Last night, they had stripped separately, and the shower they had taken together had been sensual but not sexual. Last night had been about assuring the other that they were still there, still alive, and not going anywhere.

Tonight was different.

Tom could already feel his building need for the woman in his arms. She was soft, and warm, and making little noises that were going straight to his groin as he helped her take off first her shirt, and then her leggings. She stood before him, chest heaving, in only her bra and panties, and he groaned at the sight.

"You are so beautiful," he growled, and then he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. She responded eagerly, pressing her chest against his before groaning in frustration and leaning back to rid herself of her bra. She wanted to feel the skin of her breasts on his chest. When she leaned back against him and captured his mouth again, her groan was from pleasure this time as his chest hair brushed roughly against the sensitive skin of her nipples.

Tom started backing her up toward the shower, but had to pause to take off his boots before he could rid himself of his pants. Rachel helped him take them, along with his boxers, off, and then reached for her own panties. Tom grabbed her hand gently, pushing it aside, to do the honors himself. He dipped a finger under the band, feeling soft curls tease his finger as he tugged the red cotton down. They dropped to the floor, unnoticed, as she stepped into the stream of hot water behind them.

He followed her inside, closing the door behind them.

Next chapter will be rated M. There will be very little in it plot-wise, so it's fine to skip if that's not your thing!