Chapter 23: I Am The Fire
December 15th, 2013 - 0815 (8:15 am)
Tom was holding tightly onto Rachel's hands, trying to calm both her and himself down, when the machine beside her beeped.
She jumped at the sound, and Tom squeezed her hand again, encouraging her to meet his eyes. When she tentatively looked up to meet his gaze, he smiled and rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.
"Together," he reminded her, and she nodded, dropping his hand to reach for the test.
"Anything above 5 milli-international units per milliliter is considered positive at 3 weeks pregnant, which is what I would be," she told Tom before looking at the results. She wanted him to understand what they were looking for so that he would know as soon as she did. "But a normal range for this time frame is anywhere between 5 and 50."
"Wait," Tom said, frowning as he did the math in his head. "You can't be three weeks pregnant, it was just last week that we... "
Rachel smiled as he trailed off, feeling a little more comfortable and a little less nervous as she slipped back into what she knew - science. "Yes, well, a full term pregnancy is considered to be 40 weeks long, counted from your last menstrual period. The last day of my last period was 22 days ago, so if I am pregnant, the technical time frame would be 3 weeks."
"Oh," Tom said, and then inched forward, wanting to see the result on the screen.
Rachel took a deep breath and turned to look with him.
"Well," Tom said, reaching out a shaking hand to press it to the small of Rachel's back. "I'd say you're probably definitely pregnant, then."
Rachel nodded, swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat. An hGC level of 46 mIU/mL was too high to be anything but pregnant. She reached out to touch the numbers on the screen, biting her lip as her other hand went down to settle over her abdomen.
"Oh my God," she whispered, and felt tears spring to her eyes. She could feel Tom gather her into his arms, wrapping her up tightly in his embrace as her breath hitched.
"Rachel?" he whispered, worry seeping into his voice. "It's going to be OK, sweetheart, we'll do this together."
She nodded frantically, opening and closing her mouth, wanting to speak but seemingly unable to. She wasn't actually upset at the result, just ... shocked, even though she knew it could happen, that it likely would happen. She'd had unprotected sex - a lot of unprotected sex. As a doctor, she knew the chances of being pregnant were pretty good considering when in her cycle she'd started having sex with Tom. She just hadn't let herself believe it might be real until she'd seen the number on the screen.
"Are you ... upset?" Tom asked. He knew that they had talked about it and she had said she wanted to be a mother, but he also knew very well that now was not a great time to bring a baby into the world. Rachel was a very logical person; he worried that she hated the idea that she was pregnant, that they would be having a baby while the world was all but ending.
Finally, after several moments, she shook her head, sniffling as she pulled back.
"Not upset, no. Just ... shocked. I'm in shock a little, I think. A baby."
Tom found himself grinning, unable to help himself. "Yeah, a baby. Half of me, and half of you. I hope they have your eyes."
Rachel shook her head again, but she was smiling this time. "No, I want him or her to have your eyes. They're the color of the ocean." She paused, and felt the panic return a little. "Oh holy God, I'm pregnant."
Tom chuckled, and pressed a kiss to her head. "Yes. Yes you are. We're gonna have a baby."
Rachel let Tom hold her for several moments, her hand still pressed to her belly between them. It was amazing to think that their baby was already growing inside of her. She considered what she knew about pregnancy and told Tom, "The fetus probably implanted within the last 24 to 48 hours. It's heart will start beating within the next two weeks."
Tom shushed her, pulling back just enough to settle his large, warm hand over hers where it covered their baby.
"Hush, woman. You're ruining the magic. Save the science for later. We're having a baby," he said in wonder, and she nodded, her cheeks flushed as she reached out both hands to cup his face before she stood in her tiptoes to kiss him.
A squeeze of the hand or a chaste kiss on the cheek were all she usually allowed herself while in public areas aboard the ship. However, in that moment, she couldn't give a rat's ass who saw them. Tom was seemingly in agreement, reaching one hand up to cup the back of he head while the other continued to press into her abdomen. He deepened the kiss, coaxing Rachel's lips open with his own.
"I love you," he said to her, breaking away with a gasp. Then he kneeled down, both hands going to Rachel's still very flat belly. He framed her stomach with his hands, and pressed a gentle kiss to the cotton of her shirt. "I love you, too," he whispered to the baby, and then leaned his forehead against her midsection.
Rachel smiled, twining her fingers into Tom's hair as he rested his head on her stomach. She blinked away tears, casting her gaze toward the ceiling and breathing in deeply.
She was pregnant.
With a baby.
Their baby.
"I love you, too," she said, and tugged on Tom's hair to bring him back up to kiss her again. He broke away with a sudden laugh a moment later, and Rachel regarded him with a curious look.
"What?" she asked, and he shook his head, grinning.
"I am so glad that I didn't give Kara and Danny very much shit at all when they told me about their pregnancy."
Rachel laughed and hid her face in Tom's shirt, blushing.
December 15th, 2013 - 1200 (12:00 noon)
Later that morning found Tom on the bridge and Rachel in the lab. She was struggling to keep a smile off of her face, but kept finding herself grinning and humming. Quincy kept giving her weird looks, but she chose to ignore them. They were scheduled to make landfall in the next few hours, and she had been working for several hours to gather everything they would need.
Their first step would be to search out the only biosafety level 4 lab in Jacksonville, which was unfortunately a few miles inland, and see if it was still in working condition. The hope was that there would be somebody - anybody - left to begin creation and distribution of the cure. Rachel knew the odds were small, but she also knew that even if there wasn't anyone left then there would be supplies there that she could use. And, at the very least, they would be able to offer the cure to anyone they found.
Before she realized it, there was a soft knock on the lab door. She looked up to see Lieutenant Danny Green standing in her doorway, suited up and ready to go.
"Ready, Dr. Scott?" he asked, and she nodded, reaching to grab her sweater before gesturing to the pile of equipment that she would be taking on land with them.
"Yes, I just need some help to transport all of this to the R.H.I.B. I know it's a lot, but I wanted to be prepared for whatever we might find."
"No problem, doc," Danny said, grinning. He reached down to take two of the large cases, one in each hand, and tossed a backpack over his shoulder. All that was left for Rachel to carry was the second, smaller backpack. As she pulled on her sweater and shouldered the final bag, Danny gestured for her to walk in front of him into the p-way. "I heard you put in a good word for me and Kara with the Captain," he added, and Rachel looked back at him, smiling fondly at the look on Danny's face.
"It was nothing," she claimed, shrugging. "I just helped him calm down and see reason before he talked to you. He would have gotten there regardless, but this way there was less yelling involved."
Danny chuckled, but didn't disagree.
They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence. When they reached the deck, Rachel turned her face toward the sun with a happy sigh. It was freezing cold outside of course, but the sun was shining brightly and for the first time in a long time, she felt hope for the future. She watched as Tex and Miller helped Danny load her equipment onto the R.H.I.B, wondering what the world would look like in eight months. What world would she be bringing her child into? She was feeling hopeful that, at the end of their six month mission, they would be able to find a place to live and settle down into some sort of normalcy before having their baby.
Then she frowned, another thought coming to her.
Would Tom continue on the Nathan James even after their current mission? Or, if she wanted to settle on land with the baby, would he be with her in the weeks leading up to the birth? She knew he had been gone on deployment a lot when Sam and Ashley were little. Would he stay, and be there for her and the baby? And, if he did continue on the Nathan James, would Ashley and Sam stay with her on land, or with their father?
Suddenly she had a lot of questions, and very few answers. She knew that the situation wasn't ideal, but she didn't think that she would be able to handle separating from Tom. If he continued on the Nathan James, she would stay with him and the kids. Being apart from him simply wasn't an option, even if that meant having and raising the baby on the ship.
Suddenly, a soft touch on her arm and a soft voice broke her out of her thoughts.
"You all right?" Tom asked.
She looked up, meeting his gaze and forcing a small smile.
"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry, lost in thought. Are we ready to go?"
Tom nodded, but rocked back and forth nervously, not moving to join the others on the boat just yet.
"You have to come with us?" he asked quietly, and his gaze flickered from her eyes down to her stomach. She nodded firmly, understanding his concern but also knowing that she needed to be firm with him here and now, or else he would hover for the next 37 weeks. She loved him, very much, but knew that she would need to retain her independence throughout this pregnancy or she would lose her mind.
"Yes. I will be fine, Tom. I promise." She paused, lowered her voice so no one else could hear, and repeated, "We will be fine."
Tom nodded, taking a deep breath. He had always been terrified for Rachel's safety, and his concern had only grown after the Vyerni and then again after Baltimore. Now, with even more at stake, he almost felt like he couldn't breathe. He had so much more to lose now than he had even two weeks ago.
He had his kids with him now, and while they were safe aboard the ship, the thought that something could happen to them was a constant worry.
He had Rachel, who he had almost lost twice already. Had lost once, briefly.
And now they had their baby, who was still mostly just a thought. A tiny, microscopic beginning.
"Please be careful," he pleaded with her, and she nodded.
"I will be as careful as I possibly can be. No unnecessary risks. I'll wear my vest. I'll keep Danny or Tex or you with me at all times. Tom, I understand. It's not just me, now. My choices affect you, and Sam and Ashley, and now our baby, too."
Tom nodded, and finally began to walk forward. He fell into step beside Rachel, and while he wanted to reach out and touch her he kept a respectful six inches between them at all times. Once on the boat he settled into position, watching over Rachel as they headed toward the shore.
December 15th, 2013 - 1400 (2:00 pm)
Once on land, Tom was unable to relax. He was on alert, barely speaking to his men except to give orders. They'd met several survivors, and Rachel had smiled at each one, taking small children into her arms as she passed out the cure. He was watching stiffly from the sidelines as she settled a little boy on her knee, distracting him with silly faces while she pressed the needle into his skin. The little boy, he noticed, was very sick. He was coughing and lethargic, sores all over his little body. Tom felt his heart clench, and hoped the boy wasn't past saving.
"You all right, Cap?" Tex asked, walking up and standing next to him with his arms crossed.
"Fine," he said gruffly, and then sighed, deflating. "I hate this. I hate being so vulnerable, having her be so vulnerable out here in the open."
"One stop down, nineteen to go," Tex said cheerfully, and Tom felt sick. Some of their stops would be happening when Rachel was later in her pregnancy, four or five months along, and he wasn't sure how he was going to handle that.
One step at a time, he reminded himself.
"Right. So what's the next step?" he asked Tex, as if he didn't already know the plan backward, forward, inside and out. And, he was sure, Tex knew that he knew the plan, but humored him anyway.
"Lab's 2.4 miles inland, east-eastwest. Walking time would be less than half an hour, but I have a feelin' that we're going to keep finding people along the way. In reality, we allocated two hours for travel time, plus whatever time it takes to set up in the lab."
Tom nodded, watching as Rachel handed the little boy back to his mother. The woman was crying, thanking Rachel profusely. The doctor looked uncomfortable with the praise, but hugged the woman and touched the little boy gently on the cheek before walking back toward Tom and Tex. Danny followed her, never more than three feet away at any given time, and Tom relaxed when he noticed Danny thoroughly canvasing the area as they walked. The block they were on had already been cleared, but it was nice to see that Danny was constantly aware of their surroundings.
"We're ready to move on, boss," he said as they approached, and Rachel nodded.
"Yes, they were not part of a larger group. It was just their family, and I dare say we got here just in time. That little boy was close to death."
Their group continued to move forward, though they stopped several more times to inoculate any survivors that they found. They made good time, and the sun was still high in the sky when they approached the lab.
"All right, here's the plan. Danny, Miller, and Tex will go in first to clear the building," Tom started. "Rachel, you will wait out here with me. Once the building is clear we will rendezvous all together on the first floor where they will gather any survivors for the vaccine."
"Aye, boss," Tex agreed, and Rachel watched with some trepidation as the three men walked into the lab.
Several minutes passed in silence, which was, she supposed, good. At least they didn't hear gunfire or the sound of any conflict. Waiting was hard, though, and Rachel found herself rocking back and forth as she waited, her mind moving back to the thoughts that had been bombarding her earlier.
"Can we talk tonight, when we get back home?" she asked Tom quietly, and he turned to look at her, his eyebrow raising in concern. She caught his look and smiled. "Nothing like that, Tom. Nothing bad. Just... logistics, with everything going on. With the baby."
"Ah," Tom said, nodding. "Yes, we can do that. We probably should do that, huh?"
"Yeah. I mean this is ... so sudden. We just... we haven't talked about what the future will look like."
At this, Tom smiled. "The future certainly looks a lot brighter now than it did at the beginning of all of this," he said softly. "Thanks to you."
Rachel scoffed, shrugging. "You say that like I single-handedly made this cure, Tom. But I couldn't have done it without you, or without everyone on that ship. And we still have so much work to do. So many people are still going to die while we're working on spreading this cure. I wish... I just hope that the world we bring our baby into is a better world than the one we have today."
Tom reached out to grab Rachel's hand, raising her fingers to his lips to kiss them.
"It will be, because of you. I believe in you. Everyone on the Nathan James believes in you. We are going to hand deliver your work to 20 labs around the world, and they will all start mass producing it. The work has already begun. By the time you have this baby, we won't even recognize our nation. Rachel, all of the labs in the United States will have the information on how to make the cure as soon as we figure out how to get it to then. You've given people hope, Rachel. Once people have the cure, your cure, the world can begin to heal."
Rachel smiled and nodded, hoping that Tom was right. That, by the time the baby was born, there would be some semblance of a world to raise it into.
"We'll talk more tonight, love," she said, squeezing his hand and then dropping it when she saw Tex, Danny, and Miller walk out of the building. "Thank you."
"Well," Tex said as he approached. "Got some good news and some bad news."
Rachel winced, unsure which she wanted to hear first.
Tex didn't give her time to decide before he continued.
"Good news is there's someone smart enough in there to do the work we need done. Dr. Martin Webb. He's been working on studying the Flu, seems very eager to meet you, Rachel."
"And the bad news?" Tom asked.
"He ran outta beer last week. Offered us a drink and then took it back. Really crushed our spirits."
Rachel roller her eyes before stalking forward, pushing the front door of the lab open. Tex scrambled to keep up with her, chatting happily the whole way as the others trailed behind them.
"Martin's a nice guy, seems like. He and a couple others have been holed up here since basically the beginning. He also said he's been in contact with other labs, so I told him you could give him the information to send to them. One in Dallas, one in LA, few others I can't remember."
"Really?" Rachel asked, excitement building as they entered the elevator. Tex jabbed the button for the third floor, grinning over at Rachel.
"Yep. Figured that, since we can only visit places near the water, Martin could share what you teach him with others. Ripple effect, and all that."
Rachel nodded, finding herself suddenly nervous as the elevator dinged and opened.
"Right this way," Danny said, motioning for them to walk to the left down a long hallway. Tex led the group, Rachel and Tom in the middle, while Danny and Miller brought up the rear.
They walked most of the way down the hall before Danny pointed to a room near the end. Rachel approached tentatively, peering through the doorway as Tex happily greeted whoever he found inside.
"And this," he introduced, waving Rachel over. "Is the lady who made it all possible. Creator of the cure, savior of the world. Dr. Rachel Scott."
Rachel grimaced at Tex's fervent praise, reaching out a hand to the scientist before her. He was young, perhaps a few years younger than her, slim and tall with dusty brown hair. He was grinning from ear to ear, practically vibrating as he reached out and shook her hand.
"Ignore him, please. I'm Rachel Scott. It's so good to meet you."
"Hi! Oh my God, it's so nice to meet you, too. Lane and Mark aren't here right now, they're on a supply run, but I know they'll be just as excited. You really- you really have a cure?"
Rachel laughed, nodding. "Yes, yes we do. We've all been vaccinated, and we cured several people we found on the way here. Let me show you."
Tom leaned back against the wall, a small smile on his lips, as he watched Rachel enthusiastically interact with the young man. She was gesturing wildly, grinning, and speaking so fast that he couldn't keep up with her. He didn't even try, just listened to the lilt of her voice as she and Martin began taking things out of the cases they had bought.
"So you were able to create the vaccine using antibodies from a young woman who was naturally immune? But how did you test it? And how do you know that the virus won't mutate?"
"Yes," Rachel replied, handing him one of the USB drives that she had saved all of her work on. "Her name is Bertrise. She was the lone survivor on a ship of over 50. We rescued her a few weeks ago, and she's become incredibly important on the ship. She helps me in the lab. Look here, at this," Rachel said as he plugged the USB drive into his computer. "Here's the formula, and why I believe that the virus won't be mutating anymore. What I did was..."
"This is really gonna work, isn't it?" Tex asked, leaning on the wall beside Tom. "We came here expecting to make one stop, an we're actually going to reach across the entire damn country. Martin has connections everywhere. I guess not all hope is lost."
"No, it most certainly is not," Tom said, thinking about the renewed hope he had in the future. "I think we're going to do just fine."