Chapter 29: I Am The Fire
February 14th, 2014 -1147 (11:47 am)
"We have to stop the bleeding! Put pressure on that wound now!"
Rachel cried out in pain as someone pressed hard on the wound in her shoulder. She felt someone beside her, probably Tom, holding her hand and telling her that everything was going to be OK. She wanted to believe him, she did, but there was white hot pain tearing through her entire body. She closed her eyes and screamed again, one hand going to rest protectively over her baby bump while the other tried to push away whoever was causing fire to race through her upper arm.
"Rachel, sweetheart," the owner of the hand said, entwining her fingers with his own as she tried to push him away. "Please don't. Please, just hold on. You're gonna be OK. The bullet went through your shoulder. It didn't hit any major organs or blood vessels. Doc Rios is here now; he's going to patch you up and you'll be good as new."
Rachel nodded, but she could still hear the fear in his voice.
Everything since the gunshot was a blur.
The last thing she remembered was Curtis pressing his gun into her chest, right over her heart, and the sound of the bullet. She'd apparently blacked out for a while already, because she didn't remember the doctor coming ashore.
How had it hit her shoulder, and not her chest? she wondered absently as her vision began to black out again. She should be dead, she knew. The gun had been pointed at her chest, right over her heart.
"Rachel, baby, please stay awake," Tom begged, and she wanted to. She wanted to do whatever he asked, to make him happy and to take away the terror in his voice, but she couldn't. The darkness was crowding her vision, and she knew she was going to pass out any second.
"Love you," she whispered, and then her hand fell away from her belly as she fainted.
February 14th, 2014 - 1202 (12:01 pm)
Tom sat by Rachel's side, refusing to move a single inch even as Rios yelled at him to get out of the way.
"Work around me, I'm not fucking leaving her!" he shouted, and held tighter onto Rachel's hand, two fingers pressed over her pulse point. She had passed out less than a minute ago, and as long as he could feel Rachel's strong pulse under his fingertips, he was glad she was unconscious; she had been in so much pain.
"Then move and sit by her head, please," Rios said, and crowded into the spot Tom vacated as he shifted. "The bullet went through and through. We need to transport her back to the Nathan James and sew up the wound. Our main concern is blood loss. She lost a lot of blood before I got here, and that could put the baby in danger."
Tom ignored the shocked gasps of Tex and Danny at the mention of the baby, and immediately held out his arm. "I'm O Negative, universal donor. Take blood from me. We can start the transfusion before we even move her. Will that help the chances of her and the baby both staying alive?"
Rios nodded, and motioned for the nurse behind him to begin setting up the transfusion line.
"Yes, yes that will help. Sarah, quickly please," he said, and the nurse nodded, grabbing the field transfusion kit and setting up between Tom and Rachel.
It took mere seconds for her to take Tom's arm, tie his bicep with the constricting IV band, and find a vein.
"Quick pinch," she warned him, swiftly disinfecting the area and inserting the needle. She taped it down, and clamped the IV cord before inserting the opposite end in Rachel's arm. "Her veins are small," she told Rios. "I'm using the 16 gauge needle; it'll slow the flow of blood, but I don't want to blow the vein."
Rios nodded as he tied a compression dressing around Rachel's wound for transport.
"I'm done and ready when you are," he said, and Sarah quickly removed the clamp to allow Tom's blood to start flowing into Rachel before standing up.
"Ready for transport," she said. And then to Tom, "Stay close to her. Do not let that IV disconnect from either of you."
Tom nodded and stood up, practically gluing himself to Rachel's side as Tex, Danny, and two other sailors picked up the edges of the emergency stretcher she was on and began moving her through the hallways, down the stairs, and out the door of the lab.
He had been horrified when he'd heard the gunshot, but had thankfully been quick enough to tug Rachel's arm, allowing the bullet to enter her shoulder rather than her heart. Of course he wished it hadn't hit her at all, but the wound she was now fighting against was much less serious than the one she would have had.
In anger, he had taken down the guard closest to him, stolen his gun, and quickly shot the other guard and Curtis before falling to Rachel's side and screaming for help.
It had been mere seconds before Tex was running into the room, and he had helped Tom put pressure on the wound while he'd called for Rios.
The fifteen minutes it had taken the doctor to get from the ship to the lab were the longest in Tom's life.
"She's gonna be OK, Cap," Tex reassured him as they quickly traversed the mile from the lab to the R.H.I.B. "She's strong. She won't let a little wound like this take her down."
Tom nodded; he knew that the chances of Rachel making a full recovery were good - the wound wasn't life threatening, and they had started the blood transfusion quickly enough that, he hoped, blood loss wouldn't hurt her or the baby. But there was that chance, and they had just started getting truly excited about the addition to their little family. Tom didn't think that they could handle that loss, and he sure as shit couldn't handle losing Rachel.
No one spoke again until they were settling the stretcher into the R.H.I.B. Tom stayed right by Rachel's head, finally smiling a little as her eyes fluttered open. "Hey, sweetheart," he crooned, using the hand that wasn't obsessively measuring her heart rate to caress her cheek. He winced when he noticed that his hand was completely covered in blood, and tried to wipe away the smear he'd gotten on her cheek. It only made it worse, and he felt his eyes filling with tears as he stared at the blood on her pale skin.
"Hi," she whispered, and then winced as she shifted. "Ouch."
Tom chuckled through his tears, leaning down to kiss her gently on the forehead. "You got shot, Rachel. It's gonna hurt for a bit, but you're going to be OK. I promise."
"And the baby?" she asked tiredly, and Tom shook his head slowly. He didn't know. Rios didn't know; they couldn't know until they got her back aboard the Nathan James and hooked her up to a fetal monitor.
"We don't know yet. But Rios got to you quickly, we stopped the bleeding, and we're giving you more blood right now. Everything should be OK."
Rachel nodded, but didn't relax. He knew she wouldn't be able to relax, and neither would he, until they heard the sound of their baby's heartbeat on the monitor.
"Congrats, by the way," Tex piped up from where he was sitting at the foot of the stretcher. "Baby Chandler-Scott. Who would have thought?"
Tom smiled and nodded, accepting his congratulations, but quickly turned his attention back toward Rachel.
"Almost there," he comforted her, and she nodded, wincing as another bolt of pain shot through her shoulder. She gritted her teeth, and tried not to pass out again as the R.H.I.B docked. She was quickly unloaded and rushed through the p-ways. She fought tears the whole way; the speed at which they were moving was jarring her shoulder and causing it to hurt with every step, but she knew that the sooner they got to the med bay, the sooner she would know that her baby was OK.
Tom carefully kept the IV between himself and Rachel from tangling as she was transported to one of the beds in the med bay. Rios immediately began to remove the compression dressing on her shoulder so that he could clean, disinfect, and sew the wound closed on both ends. Sarah quickly pulled Rachel's shirt up, squirting ultrasound gel on her abdomen, and pressed the wand onto her skin.
She searched for several long seconds (the longest in Rachel's life) before sighing in relief when the rapid thump-thump-thump of the baby's heartbeat heartbeat filled the room. She smiled down at the expectant parents, and Tom felt relief so strong that he felt lightheaded course through him.
"139 beats per minute. Seems perfectly healthy," Sarah told them, and Rachel nodded, tears of relief running down her face.
"Thank God," she whispered, and Tom moved his fingers from the pulse point on her wrist to entwine their fingers. He brought their clasped hands up and kissed her knuckles, and then pressed his forehead against them.
"The baby's fine," he whispered, and Rachel nodded, smiling through her tears. Tom then turned his attention to Rios. "How's it going, doc?" he asked.
Rios looked up from his work. "Better. Her vitals look good, the blood transfusion is helping. Once I get her sewed up, we can get her cleaned up and let her rest. Infection will be our biggest worry."
Tom nodded, glancing at the monitor that displayed her vitals. Sp02 was 97%, pulse 110. Blood pressure looked good. These were numbers he understood, could keep an eye on.
Sarah continued to monitor the baby through the ultrasound for a few more moments, making sure that everything looked OK, and then wrapped the fetal monitor around her stomach to continue monitoring the baby's vitals, and Tom knew that he would be staring at the two screens non-stop until they were given a clean bill of health and released from the med bay.
"Scared the shit out of me," he said to Rachel, and she chuckled lightly, wincing when the movement caused her pain.
"I'm sorry, love," she whispered, and then closed her eyes, breathing out deeply as Rios bandaged her arm over the stitches. He secured the gauze and sterile dressing with another compression wrap, and then stepped back.
"There. We will keep an eye on that, and keep you here for a few days probably, but you should be good to disconnect the IV, Sarah," he said, and then set up a second IV with fluids and IV antibiotics for Rachel as Sarah removed the first one. Tom sighed in relief when the needle came out of his arm; he was beginning to get a little lightheaded, but he had been hesitant to say anything for fear of Rios stopping the transfusion.
"You should go get cleaned up," Rachel said, casting a glance at Tom. His arms were covered in her blood, and his shirt was probably a complete loss at this point. But Tom shook his head 'no'.
"Not yet. I'm fine," he said, and squeezed her hand tighter.
"Captain," a new voice said, and they both looked up to see Tex walking toward them. He had changed and washed up, no longer covered in Rachel's blood. He walked over to them and sat down on Rachel's other side. "I'll watch over them, boss. Go, get cleaned up. You look like a horror show."
Tom paused, considering. He could feel her blood drying on his skin, itching and pulling on his hair, and he wanted very much to be clean, clear of the reminder of what it had felt like to feel her blood oozing through his fingers. But he didn't want to leave Rachel.
"Go," she encouraged him, and he stood, but didn't let go of her hand.
"You'll be OK?" he asked, even though he trusted what the doctor had told him. She would be tired and in pain, but she was going to be fine.
Rachel nodded, and then took her hand from his, settling it on her stomach. She hadn't pulled her shirt down yet, content to stare down at the tiny bump as the nurse began to wipe blood off of her skin.
"We'll be fine," she promised. "Go get cleaned up and come back. See if Jed can watch the kids tonight. I know I can't convince you to leave for that long, but please, take a few minutes to get everything settled, and then come back. Tex'll let you know if anything changes."
Tex nodded in agreement with that statement, and then made a show of getting comfortable in the chair. "Not going anywhere, boss. I swear on my life, I will let you know if anything changes."
Tom nodded and ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he realized that he was spreading her blood into his blond-gray locks. He really did need to get cleaned up.
"I'll be back within twenty minutes," he promised. "I can bring some clothes for you to change into."
Rachel nodded; that would be nice, she decided, because the blood crusted shirt she was wearing was quickly becoming uncomfortable, and she didn't want to wear scrubs. "Thank you. A t-shirt and leggings, please," she requested, and Tom nodded.
He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, and then stood up and walked quickly to the door.
February 14th, 2014 - 1400 (2:00 pm)
It took Tom only a few minutes to escape to his cabin, shower, and change. He was drying off and dressing in sweatpants and a Nathan James t-shirt within ten minutes. He then moved to Rachel's section of his closet (they'd moved her into his cabin officially a few days after learning that she was pregnant) and picked out a large t-shirt that he was almost one hundred percent positive she'd stolen from him, a pair of cotton panties, and a pair of soft, black leggings. He didn't bother grabbing a bra for her, knowing that the straps would hurt her wound, and that they weren't very comfortable anyway.
Just as he was about to exit the room and head back to the med bay, he spotted something that made him smile.
Jane Eyre.
It was the book that he'd grabbed from her quarters the first time she'd been waiting in the med bay for him to come back, after what had happened on the Vyerni.
He picked it up and fingered the cracked spine, smiling as he thought about how far they'd come since then. When he'd picked up this book for the first time, he'd been having a crisis of sorts about whether or not he liked her, and now they were expecting a baby together. He couldn't be happier with how things turned out.
He smiled, and tucked the book under his arm as he headed out of his cabin.
He never had gotten a chance to read it to her then. Maybe tonight he could read to her while she rested.
February 14th, 2014 - 1800 (6:00 pm)
"What love have I for Miss Ingram? None: and that you know. What love has she for me? None: as I have taken pains to prove: I caused a rumor to reach her that my fortune was not a third of what was supposed, and after that I presented myself to see the results; it was coldness both from her and her mother. I would not - I could not - marry Miss Ingram. You - you strange, you almost unearthly thing! - I love as my own flesh. You - poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are - in entreat to accept me as your husband."
Tom read from the book later that night, warm and content with Rachel curled up in his embrace. He had squeezed into the small med bay bed behind her, helping her rest her head and shoulders in his lap as he carded his fingers through her hair (clean now; the nurses had done a very good job clearing the blood off of her body).
"Mmm. I love that part," Rachel said, smiling and pushing her head into his hand to encourage him to continue stroking his fingers through her hair. "Thank you for reading to me."
Tom smiled softly down at her. She was resting quietly, pain free for now, and he wanted her to relax as much as she could. He was hopeful that she would fall asleep soon, and sleep peacefully through the night so that he could take her back to their quarters in the morning and nurse her back to health in their own space.
He'd barely made it through five more pages before Rachel was snoring softly. He marked their spot and closed the book, setting it quietly on the side table, and despite the crick in his neck he settled in for the long haul. He wasn't going to leave her, not tonight and not anytime soon.
A quick glance at both Rachel's monitor and the fetal monitor reassured him that everything was fine, but he placed his hand over her heart anyway, taking comfort in the rise and fall of her chest.
"You gonna get any rest tonight at all, commodore?"
Tom looked up and shook his head when he saw Tex headed back into the med bay. He was carrying a tray of food, which he handed off to Tom as he took a seat next to the bed.
"I'm not leaving her," Tom said, and then motioned toward the food. "Thanks, man."
Tex shrugged and leaned back in the chair, kicking off his boots and propping his socked feet up on the bed beside Rachel's legs. He made sure not to touch or jostle her, so that he wouldn't wake her up. She needed her rest, after all.
"You're welcome. Figured you couldn't be hauled out of here by wild horses and that you might be hungry. No one got to eat today in the chaos."
Tom nodded and made quick work of the sandwich and chips that Tex had brought him. When he was finished, he set the tray on the table next to the book he had been reading to Rachel and sighed, closing his eyes as he reveled in the feeling of her warm weight on him, reassuring him that she was alive and was going to be fine.
"I don't think I can let her back out there," Tom said quietly, one hand playing with Rachel's hair while the other caressed her stomach gently. "She's going to be pissed at me. May never speak to me again. But I don't think I can let her off the boat, at least not places we don't know. Dr. Tophet is going to have to take her place."
Tex nodded adamantly. "She can be pissed at both of us, then. I agree - she stays on the boat. 'Specially since she's pregnant," he said, waving toward where Tom's hand was resting protectively over her stomach. "She tries to give you grief, just play the baby card. She can't argue with you if it's about the baby."
"She could argue with a brick wall," Tom scoffed, laughing softly. "She can and she will, but I'm sure she'll see reason eventually. Today was far too close. I almost lost her and the baby, and I don't think... I don't know if I could survive that kind of loss again."
There was silence for several moments while Tom sipped on the water that had been on the tray and Tex glanced at the monitors, checking first Rachel's vitals, and then fetal monitor.
"So, a baby, huh?" Tex asked after a moment, and Tom found himself smiling.
"Yeah. Not planned, but definitely very loved already. The kids are excited to have a baby brother or sister. Kara is excited to not be the only pregnant one, too."
"You guys move fast," Tex teased him, and Tom blushed a little, shrugging. Tex continued, "You guys do know what causes babies, right?"
Tom shot him a glare. "Shut the fuck up, Tex," he said, and the other man laughed, eyes crinkling. He held up his hands in surrender, and Tom rolled his eyes. "Yes we know what causes babies, but have you seen any condoms since the shit hit the fan? They're a hot commodity apparently."
Tex didn't answer, but it took a long time for the shit-eating grin to leave his face. Eventually though, he stood up, collecting the tray that he'd brought Tom's food on and readying himself to leave.
"I'll come check on you both in the morning. Bring the doc some tea and something simple to eat. Try and get some sleep, Cap. Can't help Rachel if you exhaust yourself."
Tom nodded, sighing as he worked to rearrange himself on the bed without waking Rachel. It took him a while, but eventually he was curled up under her, letting her rest on his chest so as not to put any pressure on her wound. She hummed and snuggled closer to him, and he smiled, staring up at the ceiling.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered, and then settled himself in to sleep with the knowledge that she would still be there in the morning.
Just a heads up, I have either written a rough draft for or planned up to around chapter 45 of this story. I am looking at ending it at 45 chapters an an epilogue.
I'm already thinking of new ideas for my next story! If you have any idea that you've thought about but don't want to write personally, I'd love to hear them!